Sober Curious

Mickey Down and Konrad Kay, creators of HBO's Industry, on addictions to success, status and money, and the substance abuse that fuels their hit show. In the episode we discuss:

-Why the themes of ambition, success, and money are at the heart of HBOs Industry – and how these themes manifest in various addictions among the characters

-Choosing what we worship, and what happens when we put our faith in external things to make us feel s...

Full-spectrum life coach Goddexx on transcending binaries, the roots of codependency, and embracing the fullness of who we are - in sobriety and beyond. In the episode we discuss:

-Their experiences with food addiction in childhood – related to food insecurity in the home

-Starting to abuse alcohol in tandem with coming into their bi-sexuality

-Toggling between different addictions to manage different situations and emotional challeng...

Ghia founder Melanie Masarin shares how she came to be a pioneer in the nonalcoholic beverage space, and why quitting drinking was the best she ever did for her productivity and her wellbeing. In the episode we discuss:

-How her upbringing in France informed her drinking choices in later life

-How the drinking culture in France differs from that in the UK and US

-Cutting out alcohol to try to diagnose her stomach issues – and discover...

Jason Gots, podcaster and author of Humanity is Trying: Experiments in Living with Grief, Finding Connection, and Resisting Easy Answers, on the nature of human suffering, living with grief, and the Buddhist approach to addiction and self-discipline. In the episode we discuss:

-Jason’s drinking history and what led to him getting sober curious

-How Buddhist ideas and practices have influenced his relationship with alcohol

-The convers...

Jessica Baum, psychotherapist and author of Anxiously Attached: Becoming More Secure in Life and Love, on the links between attachment theory and our addictions to substances, behaviors, and unhealthy relationships. In the episode we discuss:

-An overview of attachment theory – and how our relationship with our early caregivers wires our attachment style

-How an inability to trust and connect with others can be traced back to how our...

Avis Cardella, the author of Spent: Memoirs of a Shopping Addict, discusses our pervasive culture of compulsive spending and why we're more vulnerable to shopping addiction than ever. In the episode we discuss: 

-When everyday consumption morphs into compulsive spending or shopping addiction

-Why compulsive shopping is not the same as over-spending or regularly getting into debt

-The physical sensations that could show shopping has be...

Author Swan Huntley on drinking to escape the trap of perfection, and why self-love is a part of every sober and sober curious journey. In the episode we discuss:

-Swan’s sober story – and how her drinking found her living a secret double life

-The book that made her realize it was time for her to quit

-Why everybody is sober curious before they get sober serious

-Why she decided to write a fictionalized account of somebody’s sober cur...

DJ Hanzi, founder of sober dance party, Reprieve, DJ Hanzi, founder of sober dance party, Reprieve, talks about the healing power of music and dance, and how to navigate the nightlife as a non-drinker. In the episode we discuss: 

-How his experiences of going clubbing sober led to him setting up his sober dance party, Reprieve

-How he kept the party going during Covid – and how it became a place for people to release tension and find...

Celebrated hair stylist Jayne Matthews on how getting a midlife diagnosis of ADHD helped her make sense of her substance abuse. In the episode, Ruby and Jayne discuss:

-Why discovering cocaine was what finally led to Jayne quitting drinking

-Why it was the hangovers – not the drinking – that became the reason she had to quit

-The dangers of being a high-functioning addict

-Jayne using booze to self-medicate her undiagnosed ADHD symptom...

My guest today is the author and founder of The Luckiest Club, Laura McKowen. Laura is the first person I’ve had on the show twice. The first time, we were talking about her book, We Are the Luckiest, and I invited her back to discuss an essay she published in the New York times last fall, titled: How I Knew I Needed to Quit Instagram. 

I could relate personally to so much of what she described in her piece, in which she compared he...

My guest this week is Mark Groves—a human connection specialist and founder of Create The Love.

Probably the number one question I hear from people who are getting sober curious, is how will this affect my relationships. For most of us, regardless of our level of attachment to the substance itself, alcohol is part and parcel of our social lives. It’s there in our friendships, our families, our intimate partnerships, and our dating l...

My guest today is Aubert Bastiat – who is the co-founder of Sacred Sons, a global brotherhood that facilitates gatherings, workshops, and trainings focused on helping men discover a healthy connection to their masculinity.

It has always struck me that substance abuse goes hand-in-hand with unhealthy – or what is often termed “toxic” - masculinity. Alcohol especially can enable a three-dimensional caricature of what it means to “be a...

My guest today is Jayne Mattingly – a therapist and eating disorders recovery coach, and the founder of Recovery Love and Care.

I’ve wanted to have a conversation about how eating disorders fit into the landscape of addiction and recovery for a long time, partly because of my personal history with anorexia. It was only while writing Sober Curious that I became fully aware that this is absolutely a part of my addiction story. But I h...

My guest today is Khadi A. Oluwatoyin, who is the founder of Sober Black Girls Club – a platform for Black women and non-binary people who are sober, sober curious, or even just thinking about putting down the bottle.

Khadi was raised in a strict Muslim household, and alcohol was not part of her world growing up. But within hours of arriving at college, she had her first drink – and so began her career as a heavy binge drinker. She ...

My guest on today’s episode is Shain Kish – who is a long-time member of the Sober Curious community, and my co-moderator in the "Sober Curious Book" Facebook group.

Shain was the first person to ever show up at a Sober Curious writers group I used to host, and he found my work having been searching for ways to think about quitting drinking that actually spoke to him. He has gone on to use a “harm reduction” approach to addressing h...

My guest today is Mia from The Sober Glow - who was one of the very first “sober influencers” that I encountered on social media in my early days of getting sober curious and in this interview, Mia and I both reflect on how we have evolved on our respective sober curious paths.

We also cover the unique challenges of being a non-drinker during a global pandemic, finding new ways to manage stress, why Mia recently archived all her old...

My guest today is psychiatrist Anna Lembke MD, a specialist in Addiction Medicine at Stanford University. I invited Anna on to talk about her latest book, Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence – in which she posits that practically anything can become addictive in what she describes as the “dopamine saturated ecosystem” of our world today.

Her book is a deep dive into the dopamine function of the brain, and she s...

My guest on today’s show is David Murphy—chief “flavor architect” for Lyres. David is a restauranteur, a sommelier, and a decades-long wine specialist, and now he has brought all his expertise in the field to the alcohol-free space.

I’ve been very curious about how people working in the alcohol industry at large are responding to the emerging sober curious or alt sobriety space. I sometimes picture people at the big booze brands sit...

Find the episode and subscribe on iTunes, Spotify, and Stitcher, or listen up below.

My guest this week is the author and motivational speaker, Sylvester McNutt III. I met Sylvester when I was a guest on his podcast, Free Your Energy, and as soon as we signed off that day, I knew I wanted to have him on here to continue the conversation.

I explain why as the recording gets going, so you’ll hear about that in a few moments. But his So...