Untoxicated Podcast

Untoxicated Podcast

Sheri and Matt Salis just wanted a normal life – normal marriage, normal careers, a normal house and happy kids. Instead, they lived a life of lies and terror as they struggled with Matt’s alcoholism. While their experience sounds rare, with over 15 millions problem drinkers in America, their alcoholic marriage was all too normal. Matt has been writing about their experiences in alcoholism and recovery for years. On the Untoxicated Podcast, Sheri and Matt talk about it, too. No subjects are off limits as the couple discusses the trauma of active addiction, the pain of early recovery, the destruction and rebuilding of trust, and the impact on their intimate relationship. If you love an alcoholic, the disease will terrorize your relationship. We hope you’ll listen and find healing in our shared stories. For more support from Sheri and Matt, check out their Echoes of Recovery program providing connection and healing for the loved ones of alcoholics.

Episodes

April 21, 2025 53 mins
Acute addiction gets all the headlines - when the drinker drinks too much and creates chaos and trauma. But the fog chronic alcoholism rolls into the spaces between drinks - when the alcoholic is temporarily sober but operating with a warped mind. The fog of chronic alcoholism impacts the loved ones and the drinker in different ways. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who...
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Rose stayed in her alcoholic marriage until she could stay no longer. The impact on her nervous system made her methodical and planned decision to separate her only choice. Listen to Rose reflect on the turning points she experienced as she felt her nervous system heal. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program. If...
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Sheri and Matt run through the top ten things alcoholics say to their partners. Do you recognize your relationship in their conversation? If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program. If you would like to support the Untoxicated Podcast with an monthly tax deductible $10 donation, please go to SupportUntoxicated.org.
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Trigger warning: Domestic violence is discussed John Olander has a network of relationships all over Denver, and he is as tenacious as he is inspiring. But John experienced 20 dark years, crossing over the line from high-functioning alcoholism into self-inflicted, alcohol-fueled legal issues which led to homelessness and isolation. But he bounced back, and his is a true success story of letting go and leaning into community. If y...
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March 24, 2025 68 mins
Blame serves a purpose when trying to heal from alcoholism as the drinker or the partner. But there are areas where blame does not belong. In this episode, Sheri and Matt break down the impact of blame, and discuss the foundational elements of recovering from the blame of addiction. If you would like to support the Untoxicated Podcast with an monthly tax deductible $10 donation, please go to SupportUntoxicated.org If you love or ...
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Ayla Fleming is a licensed clinical social worker and telehealth therapist practicing in Pennsylvania, New Jersey, and New York. Since specializing in helping individuals, couples, and families recovering from codependency related to addiction, her personal well-being, and that of her clients, is surging. To contact Ayla, please check out her website. And for more on Bowen Family Systems Theory, please click here. If you would lik...
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Drinkers often becomes aware of the loss of identity associated with sobriety, but on this episode, Sheri and Matt discuss the role of varying categories of identity as a cause of addiction. Sheri reveals her love of smiting people, and Matt explains his eagerness to meet in Topeka at 8am Monday morning. If you would like to support the Untoxicated Podcast with an monthly tax deductible $10 donation, please go to SupportUntoxicate...
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The recovery community is full of resources about sex after alcohol for singles, but sober sex in relationships is a topic that has been ignored...until now. Nicole, Tess, and Alan are featured on this episode with input from eight people in recovery who have faced a variety of challenges with sex in sobriety. If you would like to support the Untoxicated Podcast with an monthly tax deductible $10 donation, please go to SupportUnto...
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Trigger warning: sexual assault and violence Unconsented sex occurs in relationships impacted by problematic alcohol consumption at a rate 18 times more frequently than in general population relationships. Sheri and Matt discuss this and other tragic statistics, and the implications for partnerships in recovery, as well as for our broader alcohol culture. If you would like to support the Untoxicated Podcast with an monthly tax de...
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It was not her choice. Kelly shared with her husband what she needed from the marriage, and he asked for a divorce. Sometimes boundaries and detachment are not enough for the drinker to seek recovery. But Kelly is working hard on her growth and recovery plan, and she is finding relief and peacefulness in a house free from the pain of addiction. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with...
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February 10, 2025 65 mins
Attachment and connection are not the same thing. Detachment in a healthy relationship in recovery from alcoholism is a permanent state. If done with respect, consistency, and emotional safety, choosing times and topics for connection can help a partnership thrive. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program. And if ...
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February 3, 2025 74 mins
You can almost hear the turquoise Caribbean waves lapping in the background of this conversation recorded live from the annual Marriagevolution retreat, this year in the Bahamas. Hear how things change over time, both in relationships and in families, as individual recovery progresses for former drinkers and their partners. Listen to Jenn talk about no longer feeling compelled to, "move around the words," of her husband as he talks...
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Marjorie is certified in trauma and addiction support, and she is a leader in our Echoes of Recovery program. On this episode, she helps Sheri and Matt understand that, "You can't think your way out of emotions." She also shares her sacred boundary that, "Kindness is something that I won't negotiate." Listen for these and other profound signs of growth, and learn the two meanings of the eggshells referenced in the episode title. I...
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January 20, 2025 73 mins
The industrialized world is experiencing an epidemic of men who are unemployed or underemployed, not married or dating, living with their parents, and suffering deaths of despair. And the gender gap in higher education is greater than anyone ever imagined. The experts on the subject point to economic factors for the failure of men, but Sheri and Matt think the experts are missing a critical emotional piece of the puzzle they are tr...
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January 13, 2025 76 mins
Nikki speaks boldly and vulnerably about a wide variety of taboos sex subject. From sex-drive discrepancy after childbirth to feelings of sexual brokenness to the sloppy disconnected sex of active addiction to arguments that always seemed to come back to sex, Nikki's experiences have something to which all of us can relate. Listen to Nikki tell the beautiful love story of the epiphany that got her and her husband back on track both...
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Nervous system activation is often described as one of these four reactions: fight, flight, freeze or fawn. Sheri used all four tools to protect herself in her marriage to Matt during and after his active alcoholism. On this episode, the couple talks about how Matt misinterpreted Sheri's reluctance to engage as a sign that she was waiting for his enlightened epiphanies. They also talk about steaming tomatoes and wind gusts in churc...
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The week between the holidays carries with it a cascade of emotions for people in a relationship experiencing active addiction or recovery. Sheri and Matt talk about the baggage this one-of-a-kind week used to carry with it, and the relative calm of lasting recovery. They also talk about antiquated payment methods, and a history of New Year's Eve plans that will have you feeling good about your celebrations. If you love or loved a...
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Is self-control detachment? Sheri and Matt might debate the definitions, but they agree on the value of controlling the controllables around family at the holiday season. If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery could benefit from connection with people who understand, please check out our Echoes of Recovery program.
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David Bird is a spiritual explorer with stories to tell about the hopelessness and lack of control of addiction, and the peace and freedom of knowing everything is going to be OK. Through major health scares and a variety of addictive substances, David has been through it all, and maintained humility despite so much interesting growth. If you are interested in engaging in conversations like this one with other people seeking the s...
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December 9, 2024 68 mins
Do you say or hear this question in your relationship? Sheri and Matt break down how sex drive fluctuates in both a short-term and long-term way, and discuss the impacts of addiction and recovery on the fluctuation. They also talk about navigating the fluctuations with mutual respect. Sheri and Matt talk about the comment on Matt's new  blog post, "I Might Be Getting Fired." If you love or loved an alcoholic, and your recovery co...
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