Fumbling Towards Awakening
An exploration of spirituality, self-discovery, and living authentically. Join me as I share my journey through Tantra, Ayurveda, Yoga, meditation, and life’s beautiful messiness, uncovering what it means to be fully and unapologetically myself. Each episode is an invitation to reflect, grow, and embrace your own unique path. Whether you’re seeking inspiration, empowerment, or practical wisdom, this podcast will guide you toward a deeper connection with your most authentic self. Perfect for seekers, dreamers, and anyone ready to live their truth and come home to themselves.
Episodes
When did rest start needing a receipt?
We're getting into burnout in this episode, not the corporate buzzword version, but what it actually looks like when the part of you that always has to be useful runs the whole show, including the day you told yourself you were finally taking off.
In this episode:
- The time I gave myself a day off, and somehow ended up mid-Instagram-post abo...
What does it actually cost to become who you truly are...and do you still deserve love on the other side of it?
We're getting into the receivership wound in this episode. Why good things can feel more threatening than hard ones, why your nervous system flinches right befor...
What does it actually look like to trust the flow when the flow is expensive, uncertain, and you can't see the next three steps?
In this episode I'm sharing the story of how a trance meditation, a disappearing flight, and a feisty ancestral Celtic crone sent me on a vision...
There's an intelligence running through every living system on this planet. Through root systems and mycelium networks and the forests that even crept back over Chernobyl's abandoned roads. It doesn't plan, or manage. It just keeps orienting toward balance, unconditionally, one root at a time.
I had a week recently that tested everything I teach. And I mean everything.
This episode is the unpolished version of that story, and what it revealed about trust, steadiness, and what years of practice is actually building in you, whether you can feel it yet or not.
What happens when the urgency drops, the intensity finally settles... and the quiet turns out to be the harder thing?
I'm freshly back in Bali after five intense months in the United States... and completely upside down. In this episode I talk honestly about the nervous sy...
Content warning: In this episode I talk about some heavy stuff - the Epstein files, ICE enforcement and fatal shootings, collective trauma. Listen when it feels right for you.
How do we stay present and connected when the world feels overwhelming? In this episode, I ta...
Why you can know your boundaries and still cross them sometimes...(hint: there's nothing wrong with you!)
This episode is a real-time reflection on boundaries. How they show up in the body, how they collapse under attachment, and what it takes to stay with yourself when desire and grief are present.
I share a personal story from my own dating life and speak candidly about self-abandonment,...
When I say turn-on, what comes up for you? Most people think sex - but it is so much bigger than that.
In this episode, I unpack what Tantra actually is (and isn’t), how it connects to desire and aliveness, and why being turned-on has more to do with presence and surrender than performance or control.
We’ll explore: 🌿 The roots of Classical Tantra vs. Neo-Tantra and modern Sacr...
What if the hardest things you’ve lived through could become the very thing that heals you?
In this episode, I sit down with my longtime friend Melissa, a bodyworker, energy healer, and sound practitioner based in Massachusetts, to talk about how she turned deep trauma and loss into a life rooted in love, service, and feminine power.
Melissa and I grew up together in rural Maine, in a...
What if the hardest question to answer is also the one that sets you free?
On a recent Sacred Rage call, I asked the women: 👉 “If you could do anything you wanted… what would it be?”
And the room went silent. Eyes wide. Nervous laughter. One woman whispered: “I’ve never even thought about that.”
In this episode, I share:
After three years abroad, I’ve been back in the U.S. for just over a week...and it’s been a lot. Reverse culture shock, old family dynamics, friendships that feel different, and the intensity of re-entering this cultural climate.
In this episode, I share:
👉 Why coming home can feel like an initiation portal. 👉 The grief of not always being met emotionally by people you love. �...
Boundaries and desire are meant to dance - but what happens when they step on each other’s toes?
In this raw episode, I share two real stories - one about love, one about work - and how both brought me face-to-face with fear, longing, and the messy balance between desire and boundaries.
You’ll hear:
- The moment I knew I was “swimming with sharks” i...
⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode includes personal stories about disordered eating, body image struggles, and diet culture. Please take care while listening.
In this raw, real, and slightly ranty episode, I’m diving into something that’s been stirring in me for a long time...and honestly, I’ve just had enough.
Let’s talk about how “transformation” is bein...
This one’s for the weirdos, the truth-speakers, the ones in the midst of big shifts, and the tender-hearted humans learning to ride the waves. This is my favorite episode to date, because it’s the first one where I’m not flying solo. I got to sit down with my dear friend and former client Shell… and her wildly wise, hilarious 8-year-old daughter, Harriet.
What starts as a playfu...
Ever had one of those weeks where life cracks you wide open… and everything connects?
That’s where I am right now. And I’m bringing you with me.
In this episode, I share:
- A somatic exorcism that cut a decades-old ancestral cord
- A vulnerable moment on what I thought was a date
- A heart-dearmoring session that brought me face...
In this episode, I pull back the curtain on what it really means to build a soul-led business - the beauty, the terror, the full-body spiritual initiation of it all.
I talk about waking up with panic, hiring support that stretches me, and confronting the deep ancestral fears that rise when we start to truly step into our dharma. I share how sales used to feel manipulative — and how I’ve come...
What if healing didn’t always feel like a breakthrough - but more like a heartbreak? And that's OK?
In this episode, I share what’s been unfolding behind the scenes as I hold space inside Sacred Rage - and how launching this container cracked me open in ways I didn’t expect. I speak honestly about the post-launch crash, the old survival programming that still lives in my nervous system,...
What if your breakdown was the beginning of your becoming?
In this episode, I share how the fierce feminine archetypes of Kali and Durga helped me make sense of some of the most disorienting—and liberating—moments of my life. From breaking my back in my twenties to losing identities, relationships, and homes… to visions of my grandmother and ancestral rage rising through my body&hellip...
Trigger Warning:
This episode includes references to family trauma, abuse, and a homicide-suicide. Please take care of your nervous system and listen in a way that feels safe for you.
Episode Description:
There’s a reason so many women fear their own fire.
It’s not just personal—it’s ancestral.
In this intimate episode, I sha...
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