The Turkish Diplomats Present Charming Noise

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE – AND POSSIBLY PAROLE The Turkish Diplomats Present: Charming Noise Next Episode – “Black Mama, White Mama”: Pam Grier, Chains, and Mid-Jungle Mayhem

Hold onto your polyester, kids—because the Turkish Diplomats are back, and this time we’re handcuffed to 1973’s Black Mama White Mama, a film that asks the timeless question: “What if The Defiant Ones had more cleavage, a flamethrower, and a funk soundtrack?” St...

The boys are back with a new episode of The Turkish Diplomats Present Charming Noise! This time, we subjected ourselves to the 1972 drive-in classic Frogs. This one has some genuine stars of the screen, including Joan Van Ark, Ray Milland, and Sam Elliott. We have confirmed it is him although the mustache is not present in this film. Basically it's a warning not to throw Sevin dust or giant canisters of "No More Amphibians" around ...

Incoming madness! The Turkish Diplomats are diving headfirst into Empire of the Ants (1977), a film that dares to mix real estate fraud, toxic waste, and *giant mind-controlling ants**—all with the sheer audacity of 70s B-movie insanity. Joan Collins tries to survive, but will we? Tune in soon for our latest episode of *Charming Noise, where we unravel this glorious disaster—coming soon on Podbean, Spotify, Apple, and now *iHeart ...

By God, the boys have finally posted the first episode of a new season! Yes Season 3, Episode 1 of the Turkish Diplomats Present Charming Noise is finally live. In this extra-long very special episode, Tom, Calvin, and Paul review what some have referred to as "a movie." From 1958, "She Demons" by B-movie director Richard Cunha provides the fodder for the boys to nearly talk longer than the actual movie. There's a lot to check out....

Greetings! Tom, Calvin and Paul take on another Italian sci-fi masterpiece...well, it is a piece, for sure. The film is 1979's "Star Odyssey," originally released as "Sette uomini d'oro nello spazio," or "Seven Golden Men in Space," which really has nothing to do with the plot, if that's what we can call it. This is a cheap Star Wars ripoff, and the exploitation for profit is so heavy that one video release is called "Metallica." B...

This is a dilly of an episode. The Turkish Diplomats (Tom, Calvin, and Paul) are joined by our first guest ever on the pod, our friend Ronnie Kroepfl on a very special Charming Noise. She's Tom's wife and a longtime Bad Movie Night aficionado, so it's a treat to have her on. This is a double episode because we have plenty to talk about. We review and fan out over one of our favorite movies of all time, the 1970 Al Adamson classic "...

Never fear, as Tom, Calvin, and Paul, a.k.a. The Turkish Diplomats, have returned to mess up your world with a new episode. Today, we talk about "Star Pilot," an Italian production from 1966. This has everything the boys love, which means it's an enjoyably bad movie. We are noting some patterns with Italian sci-fi this season, including the fact that once one of our representative astronauts lays a little earth sugar on an alien, h...

The Turkish Diplomats (Tom, Calvin, and Paul) are back with an episode featuring the 1985 space monster thriller "Biohazard." This season, the boys have been pursuing films with the theme "Science in space gone bad." Well, you can't get a lot worse than this, especially when the actual tagline for the movie art in one of the video releases was "Science gone very, very bad." There's a lady who has mind powers of some sort or another...

Crikey! This week, the boys have gone down under, and I don't mean in the way that got them crossways with the local constable. No, I mean they are reviewing the 2021 Australian production of "Astro Loco." Basically, there's this ship, right, and it's flying to one of Jupiter's moons, and...well, you can hear Tom, Calvin, and Paul discuss hot Russians, traditional effects, and just which movie is being ripped off depending where yo...

Well, after far too long, Tom, Calvin, and Paul present their latest review, this time for a 1967 German-Italo production, Mission Stardust. This movie is based on the Perry Rhodan series of science fiction novels, so if you are a fan of those, this movie is for you. Actually, if you're an enemy of those, this movie may be for you, because we can't imagine this being a good adaptation of anything. It's got everything you want in a ...

Okay, Episode 4 is up, and it's "The Astro Zombies." But didn't you guys (Tom, Calvin, and Paul) do that episode the other day? No, we did one of its apparently many follow-ups. This is the original Ted V. Mikel's classic (?!) from 1968. It's actually not a horrible movie. In fact, I think the boys rather enjoyed it. Does that mean it's good? No, no of course not, but it does have John Carradine, Wendell Corey at his funniest, and ...

That's right, kiddos. If you listened to the last episode, by federal law you have to listen to this one as well, because the boys weren't finished talking about this movie. That's how much was wrong with it. So, enjoy the second volume of our two-parter "Mark of the Astro Zombies." Once again, no one named Mark is in this movie. Weird. 

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Yes, it's the return of the Turkish Diplomats as they take a turn at the 2002 direct-to-dustbin "Mark of the Astro-Zombies." This is a "reimagining" of the director's original film "The Astro Zombies" made in 1968 with some members of the original cast, including himself and Tura Satana. We plan to watch the original next, if for nothing else that it may help burn out the memory of seeing this movie. There's so much wrongness to ta...

Well, well, well...The Turkish Diplomats, a.k.a. Tom, Calvin, and Paul, have begun a second season of Charming Noise! This season, the theme is Space Science Gone Wrong! I know, I too am intrigued, and you'll be intrigued with our first episode based on the 1981 movie, "Inseminoid." This dangerously British movie is sort of like Alien on a BBC budget before they realized Dr. Who might be a hit. Scientists are working in a lab on a ...

In the last episode of this season, our intrepid heroes review the 2006 direct to something film "Bigfoot." This movie is a bit of a conundrum, in that we can't find out much about it. It was made by a guy named Bob Gray, and the film is officially a Troma release, though they really had little to do with it, which is probably fine by them. Actually, there's not a lot that makes sense in this movie, but there are some enjoyable sce...

Okay, this may be a little confusing. The Turkish Diplomats have reviewed a sequel and not the original simply because it's just not easily found. But don't worry, it would have even wasted more of our lives had we seen Part 1. Let's just call it "What Happens" so I don't have to write out this freakin' title again. It is a Bigfoot horror movie in that there is a Bigfoot, and the movie is horrible. Folks, listen to this podcast, wh...

Here it is, Part 2 of the Turkish Diplomats trying to work out their childhood traumas via explanation of the film "Bigfoot vs. D.B. Cooper." Seriously, Tom, Calvin, and Paul could have talked another episode or two about this movie, but at some point one has to move on and embrace the future with hope and dignity. Or, in this case, we probably all needed to go to the bathroom. We tell you what happened to Morgan, we describe the b...

Wow. This movie was so good at being godawful, we couldn't stop talking about it. Join Tom, Calvin, and Paul discuss one for the record books, a film called "Bigfoot vs DB Cooper." We had so much to talk about we had to make two episodes. We could have made more. Many more. This movie's got everything...hijackings, cryptids, hunky boys and their not so hunky friend, narrators, turkey hunting, running, pose-offs, gun safety training...

Thomas, Calvin, and Paul review, as best they are able to with their limitations, the 2006 movie "Bigfoot at Holler Creek Canyon." This film does what it can to prove that sex scenes and porn stars don't necessarily make a film sexy. In fact, this film may contribute to Erectile Dysfunction, so listen to this episode and find out if you and your friends can take that chance. The movie stars a cast of actors, and also Ron Jeremy. He...