Surrender requires you to embrace vulnerable and often compromising situations and experiences. Preserving ourselves is the fastest way to disobedience and opposition to God. Self-preservation demands that we consult every decision with our fears first, in turn fear becomes our master. God requires faith and so does surrender. Remember there is no- thing we can do outside of Christ, (John 15:5) and that includes overcoming fear. Hiding behind your own man-made barriers will hinder your growth and becoming.
Take inventory on those "boundaries" and "vows" you made from trying to protect yourself from being hurt or embarrassed. Give those thoughts to God and allow him to renew your mind so that you can discern the good, acceptable and perfect will of God. (Romans 12:2)
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