August 5, 2024 • 64 mins
The BecomeOne Living crew goes live with Yoga Bohemia in Long Beach island NJ! Join us as we unravel the complex relationship between trauma, the nervous system, and yoga. In this episode we begin to unravel the difference between stress, adrenaline, and trauma. Emphasizing the dual nature of the nervous system's response, we discuss how hormones like cortisol and adrenaline are released and the long-term effects they can have on our physical and psychological health. We'll also touch on the brain's evolution and its role in managing stress, providing a comprehensive grounding for our listeners.
Dan explains the connection through the natural responses of babies and how simple yoga poses, like cat-cow, can be immensely beneficial. We delve into the essential role of the vagus nerve, connecting the brain to all our organs, and explore how perceived threats can disrupt our physiology and digestion. Jody continues to share more of her personal story with overcoming the fear following her stroke and tumor by learning to regulate her nervous system We will be highlighting the powerful link between thought and physical well-being. This interactive episode invites audience participation and questions, making it an essential listen for anyone intrigued by the healing power of yoga and the deep connection between mind and body.
Lastly, Jody discusses the team of people that help her navigate through her traumas. She emphasizes they are not a luxury but a necessity. Remember, seeking help for your mental health is essential. Help is available. Dial 988 for the Crisis Hotline should you need it.
We would love to hear from you! Email us at becomeoneliving@gmail.com or reach out to us on Instagram at BecomeOne Living.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:14):
Hello and welcome to Become One Living.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
And thanks for everyone for being here.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
Yes, so today is a live podcast and in-house we're
at Yoga Bohemia in Long BeachIsland, New Jersey.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
And we're excited to have live people to interact
with and ask questions andanswer questions.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Yeah.
So in the room we have peopleour friends new friends, some
that we've known for a long time, new friends, some that we've
known for a long time and we'retalking today about trauma and
the nervous system and yoga,because we have a lot of yogis
(00:58):
and yoginis here.
My name is Jodi Dahmerstadt andthis is my husband, Dan Boisitz
.
Why do we talk about thesethings and why, today, am I
sharing about trauma?
Trauma's everywhere.
Now the word is finally out andit's trending.
(01:21):
I'm excited about that in manyways.
In other ways, I'm kind ofresistant to it, I guess because
I don't want us to get thisfearful idea of trauma.
I want to be able to talk abouttrauma or experiences that feel
(01:43):
or felt traumatizing, openlyand without shame or fear of
what someone's going to thinkabout us.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
But what's great about how you've gotten to here,
joe, is yoga is your foundation.
Yoga is a big part of your life.
It has been for a really longtime and so, as you've gone
through your journey of yoga,other things have influenced you
that are not independent ofyoga, but supportive of yoga and
(02:12):
almost one with yoga in termsof information that just now
corroborates or supports orinforms how yoga helps people or
can help people or providetools to help people to
transform.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
Yeah, and that's been your journey.
Yeah, so that's why I sit heretalking about trauma.
I have been severelytraumatized, thank you.
I mean, who hasn't in thisworld?
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Life's challenging.
Yeah, life's stressful.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
And two things.
First I want to start off with,yoga is about non-duality.
So, if you're listening in, orour friends that are here with
us, live, there's this conceptof purusha and prakriti, energy
and material, or black and white, hot and cold, duality, good or
(03:08):
bad this happened to me.
It's bad that happened.
It's good.
In yoga, in the study of yogaphysical, mental, emotional,
yoga we seek equanimity,neutrality, meaning life happens
and we don't have to move.
We can stay steady and say, oh,I'm witnessing myself get mad.
(03:29):
That's prefrontal cortex.
Or I'm going to get mad and I'mgoing to react.
That's the limbic system.
So in the nervous system it iskind of black and white.
Is there a gray?
Absolutely, but let's look atit in this moment as dualistic.
You're either in fight orflight, you're on and you're
(03:51):
scanning, or you're resting anddigesting, which means, wow, I
feel safe in this moment.
What we were talking about inthe room a couple minutes before
we started was I invite you alllistening and I invite everyone
live again to ask yourself howdo I experience stress?
(04:12):
And all stress is is any event,any person, place or thing,
anything that pulls you off ofbalance, off of your homeostasis
, off of your rhythm.
You're going on with your dayand you get a flat tire.
Boom, that's stress.
That's stress.
You go home to eat somethingand someone ate your leftovers
(04:35):
that's stress.
Stress doesn't have to bebigger than you don't like your
job or your job is stressful andyou go every day.
That's stress.
Now, what does that do to you?
Physiologically andpsychologically?
Your body responds to thatstressor, releasing hormones
(05:03):
cortisol and adrenalinereleasing hormones, cortisol and
adrenaline.
So I want to talk aboutcortisol because when Dan and I
walked this morning we discussedit.
Cortisol is released over timeand it has to do with metabolism
.
That's why there's if you'veseen, they say, they say, oh, if
(05:24):
you gain weight around themiddle, that could be cortisol.
So cortisol is released overtime to help you deal with
low-grade stress.
That's happening often.
Adrenaline is a quick rush.
It's needed to get you out of asituation.
It creates alertness and focus.
(05:45):
You're crossing the street anda speeding car is coming.
That's adrenaline.
It's going to get you out ofthe way.
Cortisol is just going to helpyou get through the day.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
Yeah, I'm wondering just real quickly.
I'm wondering how muchinformation do you want to share
before you invite questions?
Speaker 1 (06:13):
Oh, I don't know.
Well, maybe now shall we AnyoneQuestion.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
I mean, you're welcome to you know.
Just, you're invited to askquestions.
We don't want you to feel likeyou're witnessing something that
you're not a part of.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
Well, I want to give a little more info and then
we'll see if anything comes up.
Yeah, I'm sure we have a livelygroup here to let us know.
I want to go back, back andback and back to the beginning
of time.
That's a joke, because I don'teven know when time started,
(06:52):
because it's linear anyway.
And oh, that's a whole otherpodcast about how time doesn't
exist in the brain.
It doesn't exist.
It only exists because we takememories and add them in
sequential order and now we'vecreated this timeline.
Okay, forget that, forget.
I said that I want to go back.
So you have the prehistoricbrain.
(07:13):
Is the brain that is wiredstill at this time, and it's the
primitive brain.
It is sensing your environment,the people around you asking
are these people safe, is thissafe or is this unsafe?
Okay, that's the prehistoricbrain.
(07:33):
When you move up into themiddle of the brain is when
emotions start to come, themammalian brain, the mammalian
brain where you add in theamygdala, you have fear.
You have the emotions in themidbrain and we call it the
limbic system, the limbic center.
(07:54):
If you Google this or we weresaying what is it?
Chat, it or what this?
I Chat, tbt, yeah, chat, yes,what this?
Speaker 2 (08:05):
I, yeah, chat Chat.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
TBT?
I have no idea, but if youGoogle this and try to research
it more, you may see multipleparts of the brain are called
the limbic center, because allneuroscientists have different
views.
What I share with you is thehippocampus, the amygdala and
(08:27):
the thalamus.
Those are what we're going totalk about.
To keep it simple, now you'rescared or you're stressed,
you're smelling and things smelloff.
You go to the midbrain andemotions rise.
This ain't right.
This ain't right.
Something's off.
You go to the hippocampus andyou pull memories of what
(08:49):
happened.
That's where memories are.
You go to the hippocampus andyou go where has this happened
before?
Where do I?
How can I predict this?
So now, let's say I'm mad atJackie, or Jackie did something
and I'm, or my husband someone,and I'm mad at Jackie, or Jackie
did something and I'm, or myhusband, someone and I'm mad at
them.
I might not be mad at them.
It might be from a memory fromthe past that I'm pulling into
(09:12):
the moment, blaming him, whichis what we call now projection.
You're projecting on me.
Yeah, I'm very well, maybe,because that's what I remember.
That's what happened.
Now, how do you get through this?
How do you work through this?
How do you work with this inthe prefrontal cortex that's
(09:34):
here the front of the brain I'mpointing to my forehead, if
you're listening.
Prefrontal cortex is also knownas the neocortex, the new
cortex we have evolved tocritical thinkers.
I remember seeing, like a comicstrip strip of a caveman and
(09:56):
he's like I got an idea.
Once they got that idea, thefront of the brain started to
grow to problem solve.
Executive functioning In thatarea is where witnessing happens
.
It's where you can separateenough to see oh, that's
happening and I feel mad, but Idon't have to react.
(10:19):
I don't have to react.
In that way I actually cancreate space.
I don't have to react in thatway.
I actually can create space.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
That's great, witnessing, yeah.
Consciousness, witness,awareness, all prefrontal.
And what takes you there?
Speaker 1 (10:35):
What takes you to the prefrontal cortex.
You do Yoga does Mindfulness,yoga does Mindfulness,
prefrontal cortex.
Just because you do asanadoesn't mean you can go
prefrontal.
You have to do the system ofyoga for prefrontal engagement,
(10:57):
meaning you have to move yourbody.
Yes, you also have to be ableto concentrate one-minded focus.
You have to be able to sitstill sometimes.
You have to be able tocritically think yamas and the
niyamas.
You need to use the eight limbsof yoga and study them to the
(11:21):
point where you embody them,meaning you can live with them
for a little while and then usethem to build a capacity to work
through work with your stressand or your trauma.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
Yeah, asana is great in that way, in that in ways
that you begin to tell yourself,oh, I'm having one of these
days, oh, or this is going to beone of these days, or I'm
having that memory and thosepatterns begin to inform you as
well.
So shaking out the body in theasana class is a great tool so
that you can create theawareness of what's affecting
(12:09):
you or supporting you, andthings may come up repeatedly
that you want to begin to unpack.
So it's great to shake out yourbody.
You have to shake out your body.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
It's the quickest way to release excess energy is
movement.
And I don't mean alignmentmovement Sometimes I mean most
of the time.
I mean just do cat-cow, get onyour hands and knees and move
your spine.
And why spine Rocking?
Movement helps to regulate thenervous system Rocking.
(12:45):
When babies cry, what happens?
Moms or people pick them up andshake them, jostle them, move
them.
My mom is known for any kidcrying, sweeping it up and
rocking it.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
Yeah, yeah, yeah Right, and a healthy.
My teacher in craniosacralshared with us that the very
first move an embryo or babycoming out of the birthing woman
makes is literally, if it'sbeing born healthfully and its
(13:17):
head is face down your body asthe baby, you literally do this
motion to help your mom and bein unison with your mom to work
your way out.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
So Dan is showing flexion and extension of the
neck, the head presses againstthe birth canal and tucks back
in to help push out, to helpcome out in unison with the
mother.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
Right.
So I mean, never underestimatethe simple things that you
discover in your asana.
Those things, cat-cow is justcritical, crucial.
Healthy can remedy so manythings.
And just in that one, extensionand inflection.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Yes, extension and inflection of the neck, because
the 10th cranial nerve comesfrom your brain, down the sides
of your neck.
The 10th cranial nerve is thevagus nerve.
That's another new big, trendyword that everyone is talking
about the vagus nerve, and itmeans the wandering nerve.
(14:21):
It is the only nerve in thebody that touches every organ,
every organ.
I'm going to say that again.
It's a nerve that's in thebrain, that connects to every
organ your heart, your lungs,your stomach, your intestines.
And we were discussing beforewhy does my belly shut off?
(14:41):
Why does digestion stop?
Because there is a threat.
There's a perceived threat.
Now I'm using the wordperceived for a reason your
brain doesn't know what's realor fake, doesn't know.
That means if I tell a story toour friends live and it's not
(15:06):
healed, I will start tophysiologically release the
hormones attached to that storyand I'll start to experience it.
That's why sometimes, whenpeople share with me, they feel
things after sharing becausethey've relived what just
(15:26):
happened.
So perceived threat isimportant to understand that
what you think is reallyinforming your whole physiology.
So that's not wooey, wooey airfairy.
When someone says what youthink, you become.
No, that's real.
So if you're continuallyfearful and afraid of life.
(15:49):
You will experience life asfearful.
Trust me.
I was there After having astroke and tumor.
I was afraid to sleep.
For years I thought if I fallasleep I'm not going to wake up,
I'm going to die.
That was what my nervous systemtold me, until I had to learn
(16:13):
to regulate my nervous system toget it out of freeze or
collapse and to come back hometo say whoa, I'm here.
Now I'm not there anymore.
But I had to first admit it andI hope y'all hear this and this
is what I shared with the groupand I will always share this
(16:34):
Tell the truth and tell it quick.
Tell the truth and tell itquickly, not to the world, but
to you.
I feel severely depressed.
Awesome, let's start with that.
My life is a complete mess,perfect.
I stay up all night and buythings and hide them from my
husband.
Let's go there.
(16:57):
I'm sharing that because I'm anIFS practitioner, internal
family systems practitioner.
It's a psychology it's awesomecreated by Dick Schwartz, and I
work with people's parts.
We work with their parts.
If you don't acknowledge yourparts, you will live in threat
(17:23):
of your parts.
You'll be afraid of depression,you'll be afraid of anger,
You'll be afraid of your traumaresponse and then you can't heal
it.
So we need to build the Become.
One Yoga Therapy method helpspeople build a capacity to hold
whatever's here, to hold it andthen to rewire your nervous
(17:45):
system to be able to regulateaccording to life.
We're not trying to biohack,we're not trying to regulate out
of pain.
No, you want to be able toregulate with it and live life,
not push away things that youdon't like.
I tried that.
It was very lonely, I wasafraid of life.
(18:06):
We didn't go to a concert forhow many years?
Speaker 2 (18:10):
You mean since Pink.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
Yeah, it was five years, I think, after brain
surgery, or even seven.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
It was a long time.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
I couldn't go to concerts after brain surgery and
the story was oh, I'm toosensitive.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
Yeah, I mean, forget concerts, it was just crowded
places.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
Okay.
All right, I couldn't go to thefood store.
It was huge to get to a concert.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
You're sharing such great information, joe, but can
you say something more about thevagal?
Because the vagal nerve is anincredible nerve to me.
It innervates all of the organsinside of you and it's easy to
forget.
It's easy to look out and saysomething stresses me externally
, but something external foodthat you eat, that, say, one
(18:56):
body's allergic to, that informstoo and puts you on alarm from
the inside out.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
Yeah, so we have things called top down and body
up.
Body up is more primitive andmovement and top down is more
mental, where you somethinghappens and it tells something
happens and the brain tells thebody how to react.
And then sometimes you eatsomething and it tells the brain
(19:23):
how to act.
So, polyvagal theory this isthe theory and I wrote down
notes so that I stay on trackbecause I love to share whatever
I can.
(19:43):
Immobilization is the firstpart of the polyvagal theory and
that's associated with freezeand shutdown.
Immobilization I'm shuttingdown, freeze and as babies we
were discussing babies all theyknow at first is to lay there,
flip over and crawl, slitherlike lizards and snakes.
(20:04):
That's primitive brain andthey're known for freezing.
That's the only response theyhave.
The only primitive is freeze orscream and yell.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
Like a lizard.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
Like a lizard, yes.
The next is mobilization, whichis fight or flight.
So you become immobilized, youfreeze In the freeze response.
Here's some symptoms Inimmobilization, in freeze, it's
associated with thyroid issues,low heart rate, low blood
(20:44):
pressure, malnourishment,inability to digest.
Those are all symptoms of beingfrozen.
When I was in the hospital, theyhad a heart rate monitor on me
all the time and they thought Iwas an elite athlete because my
heart rate was 40.
An elite athlete because myheart rate was 40.
(21:07):
Like resting, heart rate was 40.
And it's sleep?
Well no, when I would sleep itwould drop and they would panic
because I was in completeshutdown.
My heart rate was so low.
So if you get up and you'redizzy, that could be part of a
shutdown response, could be.
It could be other things, butthese are things I hope that
(21:27):
open you up to look at.
Am I really that stressed?
Yes, probably.
Or have I been traumatized?
And what is trauma?
Before I go to mobilization,what is trauma?
It is an event that overwhelmsthe nervous system, where you
(21:47):
cannot wrap your head aroundthis.
It's like what just happened.
Where did this come from?
And I can't even conceive whathappened.
That's a threat, that's atrauma.
So stress is a littledisruption throughout your day,
(22:11):
okay.
And then a trauma is an eventin which your nervous system is
so overwhelmed it can't makesense of what's happening.
So a simple car accident istraumatizing and people will
come out and say, no, I'm fine.
Meanwhile their car is totaledand they'll be like I'm fine.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
I'm like I mean, is that adrenaline yeah?
Speaker 1 (22:37):
The adrenaline kicks in.
But I was going to say, I wantto say to them you don't even
know, you're not.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
Yeah right, you don't .
Speaker 1 (22:45):
You don't know, you're not.
Yeah right, you don't, youdon't know you're not okay
because of the adrenaline.
Adrenaline gives you juice tofunction and to survive.
That's why, after an event, itcould take 24 to 48 hours to
just come down from the event.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
Most people don't come down from a day of work,
right, right.
Yeah, I'm thinking too, ifyou're in an accident also now
you have a compound, if you'llhave a physical injury, now
you'll be emotionally andphysically and with the physical
body.
If you go to those physicalpoints that have felt, the
(23:25):
impact that will summon.
Those responses Can be both.
I mean, they're informative,but once you learn to get with
them, just be with it, that canhelp you take you back to a
homeostatic or a better placethan from where the accident and
the injury is.
It can take you to ahomeostatic or a better place
than you know from where theaccident and the injury is.
(23:47):
It can take you to a betterplace, yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:50):
Dan saying that reminded me of a word
interoception.
That is so you have.
Proprioception is me in spaceunderstanding.
Okay, dan's next to me.
To my left there's people on myright.
Proprioception is physical mewhere I am.
Interoception are the signalsinside your body.
(24:12):
It's you getting to know themand I shared a little about this
earlier.
For people that have anxiety,excitement may register as
anxiety.
They might not even know thatthey're excited.
They may have anxiety for solong that they think, oh my God,
I'm so anxious.
(24:32):
And some people that live inshutdown mode when they start
creating or they get excited andwant to play, they won't be
able to do that.
That will be seen as dangerousbecause they've got to stay shut
down, they've got to play dead,they've got to stay collapsed.
(24:54):
So coming out of that could bea threat.
To stay collapsed, so comingout of that could be a threat.
So it's normal to not want tochange.
I hope you all hear this.
If you struggle with changinghabits or you struggle with
changing your life, then you'rehuman.
(25:15):
Congratulations, because theway the brain works is.
It loves predictability andfamiliarity.
Because if you could predictwhat's going to happen, then
your odds of staying alive aregreat.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
You have to be courageous to transform.
Everyone that comes to workwith you on a one-on-one basis
to get the tools that you haveto offer and, because it's our
household you share sometimesand and it's to me feels like
it's always an initialresistance.
(25:51):
There's an always initial, aninitial oh that.
Well, that's not me, they justshared what it is to you and
then it feels like but theydon't want to own it.
So there's a resistance and soit takes courage to transform
and it's nothing that you shouldpretend you're going to do in a
day.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
The brain learns small, repeatable actions over
time.
If you want to change anything,it has to be small enough that
you can do it.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
Which is right out of the Yoga Sutra.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
That's the Yoga Sutra .
Repetition over time with loveequals change.
That's in the Yoga Sutras.
It's 1.14.
Time.
Going back to what Dan said, iscourage to change.
(26:56):
I knew something was wrong veryyoung I'm talking about seven
when I was eating a box ofcookies and my mom said where
are the cookies?
And I would say I don't know.
When.
I would lie right to her face.
I knew something was wrong.
And then, moving on, when Iwould cut myself, I knew
something was wrong and then itled to other and other things
(27:17):
addiction and depression andtreatment and all these other
things it led to.
I had yoga since my teens.
I've been teaching yoga,studying yoga since my teens.
I was doing the practices,knowing I wasn't right, knowing
I wasn't right, knowing thatthere was another way to live.
(27:37):
And even today or yesterday,when I was preparing for the
podcast, I ask myself thesequestions still.
So, being courageous means am Iprepared today?
Did I do my due diligence?
Who's showing up today?
(27:58):
Am I angry today?
Today I was crying, I meditateda little and Dan goes.
What was there?
And it was so impactful, whatrose?
I started crying when Irealized certain things that are
still here and present.
But the yoga, the system ofyoga, if practiced, is innately
(28:19):
trauma-informed, because it saysstart with understanding.
You Study yourself.
If you're afraid of yourself,you will get nowhere.
If you're not willing to turnon the lights and say, wow, I
see the darkness, I see thebrokenness or the challenges,
(28:42):
that's when you get to say, okay, I'm ready.
And you might not be able to doit then either, but at least
you're willing.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
And me and Joe are definitely the dark and the
light, so just the same, it'slike you could be afraid of your
greatness.
You could be afraid of howawesome you know you can be.
That can set you fearful.
So again, courage, you know,coming from your heart, or going
into your heart and listeningdeeply to your heart.
(29:12):
And when you're doing yoga,listening deeply, not with your
ears, with every cell of you,you're doing yoga listening
deeply, not with your ears, withevery cell of you, all of your
senses, listening so deeply thatyou begin to understand
yourself.
Because yourself will tell youwhat you need and you may need
to change a habit orgeographically move to another
(29:33):
country.
You know your heart will tellyou that, and then it takes the
resources that you've got tosummon up to make those things
happen for yourself.
But if you listen deeply andmove your body regularly, you'll
be inching toward thatlifestyle.
Speaker 1 (29:52):
And Dan sharing he comes from light and I come from
the dark is very much our life.
Welcome to our being.
When I met Dan, Dan is, healways saw things so positively.
It was innate in him.
For me it wasn't innate.
(30:12):
It was negativity was innate,Fear was innate.
It was a practice and anunfolding and a healing and a
removing of the layers to learnthat life is safe.
That's not what I experienced,that's not what I learned, so
the practices can help both.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
Right, and neither is better.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
Oh no, it's yoga, it's duality.
We are the example.
And look, you can't see ifyou're listening, I have black
on.
He has like white.
It's perfect.
We are dualistic, but at theroot it isn't good or bad, it's
the way we can have theseconversations.
And it's the last piece.
(30:55):
So that was beautiful.
The last piece is socialengagement.
So the polyvagal theory isimmobilization, mobilization and
then social engagement, whichis the most evolved part of the
brain, which is safety andconnection part of the brain
(31:21):
which is safety and connection.
So we go from frozen disconnectto running around frenetically,
scared, anxious, fight orflight to I'm connected and I'm
safe.
That's where we want to get andthat goes back to where I
started sharing.
I want a world that talks aboutthis.
I'm okay being talking aboutdeath and darkness and God or
(31:44):
divine energy or all thosethings that people don't want to
hear.
I'm okay with that.
That's just what I enjoy.
Actually, I know it's a littleweird, a little dark.
I know it's a little weird, alittle dark, and there's always
space for everything.
Speaker 2 (31:59):
Yeah, Back, I don't even remember when, but when I
used to go to yoga and theywould say come with an open mind
.
You know, to me that's sopowerful and the statement that
I come to it's just this sillylittle statement is that to come
with an open mind?
It's like if you like vanillaice cream cones, that doesn't
(32:23):
mean you don't have to likechocolate.
You know what I mean.
And, being as the state of theworld right now seemingly seems
to be perceptively so divisive,it's like to return back to like
.
Just because someone likes onecolor doesn't mean they don't,
at some point in their lifetime,want to experience the other
(32:44):
colors, you know.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
So allow yourself your journey and to expand yeah,
and before we wrap up, a lot ofthe neuroscience that I've
studied was throughneurosculpting school that I
took with Lisa Wimberger yearsago, and that's when I realized
I never felt safe.
And we're wrapping up thispodcast, but we'll share more on
(33:10):
trauma because it's it's huge.
It's, it's a big topic and ifyou know more it, you may be
able to learn to heal yourselfor work with someone that can
support you in bringing yournervous system back to your
balance, your homeostasis, yourplace where you thrive, which is
(33:31):
different from where I thriveand Dan thrives, and meanwhile,
that's what yoga is.
Yoga is about exploring selfthrough the body, against the
teachings.
You hold the teachings.
Am I doing this?
Am I doing that?
Who's doing this?
With inquiry and compassion?
Yeah, man, I think everybodyshould do yoga and I'm not an
(33:57):
absoluter, so I'm going toabsolute that we all need a
little yoga in our lives.
So any questions?
Anyone live?
Oh, we have questions.
Okay, whether it's trauma orstress.
Speaker 3 (34:15):
I know I want to get rid of it as quickly as possible
.
Are you saying I should jump onmy yoga mat and that will help
me?
Speaker 1 (34:24):
No, I just want it over with.
Yes, great question.
So the question was whetherit's stress or trauma.
I just want to get it over with.
So should I jump on the mat orjournal or something?
We had a little question aboutthat earlier, and what I'm going
to say, too, is we first don'twant to get rid of anything,
(34:48):
because as soon as we don't, wewant to get rid of something.
It's a perceived threat.
So I don't want to feel thisstress.
I got to get it out, I got toget rid of it.
Or I don't want to be depressed, but you're depressed, but I
don't want to be.
So that implies that that'sdangerous.
I don't want to feel this.
(35:08):
I don't like it.
Now the brain then goes intofight or flight or freeze,
because you're fightingsomething that you're
experiencing.
Fight or flight or freezebecause you're fighting
something that you'reexperiencing.
How do you then work with this?
That's what I want to share iswork with it.
Wow, I'm so anxious right now,or stressed.
(35:29):
It doesn't feel good.
Tell yourself that Not, I got toget rid of it.
This doesn't feel good.
My heart is racing.
I have diarrhea, you know, orgas, or I'm anxious.
I feel like I want to throw up.
I don't like this.
Say that to yourself.
That's the first part is Idon't like this.
And then you move back a littleand you say I wonder if there's
(35:53):
anything that I can do tosupport myself in this moment,
not to get rid of it.
I don't know if that seemssplitting hairs, but we're not
trying to get rid of anything.
We're trying to get with it, toregulate our nervous system
with it.
So the question would then behmm, what's here?
(36:15):
And then sometimes it might beshaking out, getting on your mat
, and then other times it may begoing for a walk and other
times it may be calling a friendand say I'm really sad, will
you listen?
Speaker 2 (36:29):
So your instinct is great, yes to move, but not
exactly for that reason, youknow, right, unfortunately it
could be a deeper dive for you,for anyone.
But the instinct to move, mostassuredly, is good, is healthy,
(36:53):
and we like yoga, but I mean youcould be dance, swimming.
Speaker 1 (36:58):
Shaking, wiggling, rocking.
Speaker 2 (37:01):
It's a good idea, and one of Joe's modalities that
she practices is you move thebody and then you speak to and
dive into what comes up in thatmoment.
Yes, so you're not coming witha preconceived.
I'm going to like you're goingto your mental health care
worker and you're like, oh, Ican't wait to get there, but
what am I going to talk about?
And you're trying to come upwith something to talk about
(37:22):
just so you can fill the hour.
So maybe you don't even have toaddress what you really need to
.
You know what I mean?
It gets too heady.
So moving, shaking up the bodycan bring you to a great place.
Speaker 1 (37:38):
The to a great place.
The way I do it is I take ajournal, put it by the side of
my yoga mat, and I do a yin poseor cat-cow.
I do simple and the simplicityis familiarity, right.
So keep it simple cat-cow or ayin pose, pigeon, half saddle,
and be with yourself and breatheand say, yeah, what's here,
(38:02):
what's here If that's whatyou're called to, so that you're
somatic, there's this big wordagain now it's been around
forever, but everyone's asomatic person now.
But what somatic really meansis there's a dialoguing also,
okay, so it's not just movement.
So if you want to work throughor with something that's here,
(38:24):
it's movement and dialoguing,and not dialoguing to get rid of
it, dialoguing to be with it,and then maybe next thing, you
know you're journaling.
Wow, I'm really angry and Idon't know where this is coming
from, so that you start to builda relationship with yourself.
One more question Questions,yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:51):
Is it more to?
Speaker 3 (38:56):
be like accepting where you are more question
questions.
Speaker 1 (39:03):
Yeah, yes, yes.
The question was if you, is itto accept where you are and if
you keep doing that, will itheal or unwind on its own?
Yes, carl Rogers, I think,calls it unconditional positive
(39:25):
regard.
Yes, I repeated itUnconditional positive regard,
because compassion is where Inthe front of the brain To shift
something.
We want to shift it from love,compassion and clarity, not from
(39:45):
fear.
It's I got to get rid of this?
Is I got to kill this?
I got to destroy this becauseit's attacking me or it's
dangerous.
But when we separate it and say,wow, I'm really sad today and
you start to feel towards thatsadness compassion, or I'm angry
(40:06):
, and you feel compassiontowards yourself for that anger
and you start to converse withit like an old friend, that's
when it heals, because you wouldnever say to a friend don't be
angry.
I hope you wouldn't say that.
You would say tell me what'sgoing on.
That's how it shifts.
It's like, yeah, I'm furious, Iwant to break stuff, I have a
(40:29):
Hulk part, I want to smash, yeah, and to love that part because
it's protecting you.
So stress and anxiety they'rehere for information and so it's
what's the information that Ican learn to transmute it, not
get rid of it but alchemize itto fuse into my life, to fully
(40:53):
be who I'm meant to be, insteadof trying to push things away
and keep things at bay.
So, yeah, acceptance.
Acceptance, that's prefrontalcortex.
It's not a positive affirmationLike I love you, no, you don't
I'm healthy, no, you're not.
It's like, wow, I'm so not welltoday.
(41:17):
What do I need to be held to beacknowledged?
And that's a practice, right,that's entrainment.
How can I train myself to havecompassion?
And going back just briefly towhat Dan said me coming living
(41:39):
negatively was very challengingfor me to be kind of dialogue or
conversation, just was shutdown.
Speaker 2 (41:59):
But when I met Jodi, I started to witness this
pattern of like her mom wouldcall her sister Deb, so the
sisters and it was like onewould say, like how's your day?
And it's like, oh, I stubbed mytoe and then it would be like
the response would be oh my God,I stubbed my toe and I hit my
elbow and it was like it wouldgo on and on.
(42:20):
It was like a competition tosee who had the worst day and
I'm like I'd rather have myfamily stuff and just get shut
down, because it's like where doyou go from there?
But the point is to recognizethe patterns within you and
within your family and withinyour greater community.
And yoga includes tools thatare to be done independently, by
(42:55):
self and then community, lotsof community things chanting or
yoga in classes, asana inclasses, you know.
So there's always a variety oftools at your disposal to move
your understanding of yourselfforward, but don't ever use a
sledgehammer and always be kindto yourself and don't think it's
supposed to happen overnight,but trust your instincts, moving
your body to shake it out.
Yeah, that's like you know,there's plenty of people that's
like well, just get up and dance, you know, or dance, whatever
(43:17):
soothes the soul.
I mean, and we're at a, I feellike a stage in life where
everything can be, has thepotential to be therapy for you.
So if you like to play thepiano, playing the piano can be
therapy for you.
If you like to dance, dance canbe therapy for you.
If you like to journal,journaling can be therapy for
you.
If you like to haveconversations and improvise,
(43:42):
that can be something healthyfor you.
You just have to listen, withevery piece of you, to what
really makes you feel good.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (43:47):
We've moved so far away from self, and that is from
childhood.
We could talk about that inother podcasts.
We shift who we are to get ourneeds met.
We become who we need to be inrelationship to family, friends,
parents, aunts, uncles to getour needs met.
And then we're here.
I'm 50, we're here at 50 or inour 30s or whenever we wake up
(44:11):
and we say, well, who am I?
I don't know this person andthat's when the unpacking starts
.
The idea of becoming one isn'tthat you're not one, you already
are one, but you forgot becauseyou're covered up.
And the yoga practice, thesystem of yoga practice, is to
(44:34):
remind you who you are.
That doesn't happen in justasana and that's why I promote
the system and not just physicalclasses, because it just can't
happen, because we'remultidimensional, not because
it's a Jodyism and because Jodydoesn't like it.
Who cares about Jody?
We're multidimensional, we'rephysical, we're mental, we're
(44:55):
emotional.
We're not just physical beings.
There's another question.
So somebody in the chat?
Speaker 3 (45:01):
asked and I think it had to do with Joan's question
is how do you do the opposite,feeling the darkness and wanting
to dwell?
Speaker 1 (45:09):
in it.
When you feel the darkness andyou want to dwell in it is when
you have to move.
So in an Ayurvedic medicine orwhen we look at the nervous
system.
If you're dwelling in thisheaviness or the shutdown, you
need to go run or shake and thecollapse.
(45:31):
You need to come out of thecollapse, even if it's just a
little movement.
So sitting here I could just go, I can rock, I'm rocking
forward and back.
Doesn't have to be a great bigmovement.
But I was in collapse for a fewyears and didn't want to do any
yoga or any movement or notwork out, do nothing.
And so sitting in meditationwas addictive because I thought,
(45:56):
well, I'm enlightened, I'mbecoming enlightened and I don't
have to move.
And that lack of movementactually kept me further away
from meeting what was there.
Speaker 2 (46:08):
And just to add right before what Jodi just shared to
that question, though, I wouldoffer that just become more
aware also of your dwelling inthat and then learn how to dwell
just enough.
Speaker 1 (46:27):
We call that titrate.
What you do is you go in andyou come out, so you dwell, and
I was a dweller.
And then I would go watch amovie.
You dwell, you sit in it, likewow, I'm really, I'm in it, I'm
in it and you don't try tofigure it out, and then you go
for a walk.
So we want to let go of thisconcept that yoga, yoga is about
(46:51):
relationship and what dan said,that was beautiful.
It's like I'm dwelling in this.
Okay, stay with it, but if it'snot helpful, get out of it.
Go call a friend, go to a movie, go do something so there's
something to.
Speaker 2 (47:06):
There's something to all those things that have been
discovered, like um, I forgetthe number of hugs a day can
help you.
You know you should have sixfriends that you can call and
have a conversation with to helpyou move forward with something
that's troubling you, Becausecontrarily is typically what a
(47:28):
human does when they're notfeeling good about themselves is
shut down and get alone and getsolitary.
Speaker 1 (47:35):
And the time we live in is isolation, especially
during the pandemic.
Yeah Right, we were isolatedand I've learned, I became used
to being isolated.
Like Dan would say, oh, we'regoing out to dinner, and I'd be
like, yeah, and the day wouldcome I'd be like I don't want to
go Horrible, like two hoursbefore going out on a date, you
(47:57):
know, on a dinner date withfriends.
Speaker 2 (47:59):
it's like no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
And I'm thinking I know this isgoing to be great for her and
she's going to be talking thewhole time, but I'm just, I have
to like endure this resistancethere's a cutest meme on
instagram with batman he's alego he's in a cave, his cave
yeah, and br and Bruce is sayingyou really should go out and
meet people.
Speaker 1 (48:16):
No, no, you would like it.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
And he just starts like goingno, no.
And I sent it to Dan, who's notan Instagrammer because he goes
every time we're going to dosomething.
I contract and I think no, no,I don't want to.
I contract and I think no, no,I don't want to.
That is a default.
Someone used that word earlierand so if you dwell in the
(48:40):
darkness, one two is toacknowledge, yeah, life is dark,
there is darkness, and alldarkness is is the covering of
the clouds, and not to be afraidof the darkness.
And if it does get scary,that's when you get help.
By the way, I have a team.
I have a team.
So when people are like, whatam I supposed to come to you the
(49:04):
rest of my life?
Yeah, you are.
Or find someone else.
I'm not getting rid of my teampeople.
I have my IFS practitioner, Ihave an Akashic Records person,
I have this.
I have that.
That is not a luxury, that's anecessity, because I go deep and
I go dark and if I can't getthrough it on my own, I'm
(49:25):
getting help.
So that is also important tohear.
We're not meant to do thisisolated.
We're meant to do this ingroups and with people that can
support the level we're at.
Okay, the reason I know some ofthe stuff I know personally is
not many people could handle meI really I'm joking and I'm not.
(49:50):
They couldn't handle the traumaI experienced.
I hadn't found someone.
Now you're going back 10 yearswhen it really broke open for me
.
Now the biggest thing is allthese trauma therapists.
Now it's different now, butyears ago even 15, 20, when I
was putting myself in atreatment center because I
(50:10):
thought I was going to go crazy.
I was.
I was losing it from processingsomething that was way bigger
than me.
So get help and find someonethat you work with.
Okay, what else do we got?
Speaker 2 (50:26):
Any other questions?
Speaker 1 (50:33):
Yeah, question Okay.
Speaker 3 (50:38):
What if you went through some trauma and you
couldn't deal with it and you goon antidepressants.
Now how do you find your wayoff of them, or like to feel?
Speaker 1 (50:57):
all of the stuff.
So the question was what if youexperienced a trauma and you
forgot about it or you didn'tfeel or pushed it down?
Speaker 2 (51:06):
Take prescription.
Speaker 1 (51:07):
And you then go on a prescribed medication to help
deal with life, to help function.
How do you come off of them orhow do you reintroduce yourself
naturally and organically?
That could take some time andI'm not anti-meds.
(51:28):
I'd like to just say that Ibelieve if anyone needs anything
in the moment and it helps them, you better do it.
Okay, when I went into the ERand they were like you need this
, this and this, I was like Iopened up my arms and my elbows
and I said get going, stick mewith anything you need to to
help me survive All right.
(51:49):
After that piece is getting atherapist or a practitioner or
someone that you feel connectedwith.
This is something so importantbeyond credentials.
I work with people in IFS whereother people think I don't know
if that's your skill set.
(52:10):
My skill set is meeting youwhere you're at.
If you can regulate enough andbe with me and do parts work,
we're good.
We can move beyond anything.
So the first thing would be tomeet and find someone that you
truly feel safe with, not thatyou think knows.
So, as a yoga teacher, we havesome yoga teachers in the room
(52:33):
and maybe some online If youwant to be an extraordinary yoga
teacher.
First, get yourself straightand co-regulate on your own and
be able to co-regulate and thenbe able to help your students
co-regulate, because that's thepart I was sharing about social
engagement and safety.
(52:53):
So I would say, interview asmany people as you need to find
someone that you feel you couldwork through this process with
and make sure please everyonehear this make sure the person
you work with has a plan, has aprocess for you, has steps for
(53:13):
you to meet, because we don'twant you just talking about what
happened, like years ago.
That's what I did.
That's why I stopped talktherapy.
It was like, oh my God, I gotsick of hearing me talk about
the problem.
I know what's wrong.
Look at me, I'm it.
Tell me what to do or how canwe find a plan.
(53:34):
So make sure you find someone.
This goes for everyone.
You have something you want tochange, good, connect, feel the
connection with someone and theninterview them.
Make sure they have a plan foryou to follow to bring you back
or to get you out of whereyou're in, right To journey
through this so you can functionat the level you want, because
(53:59):
after a time perhaps the medsmight not work for the person
anymore?
We don't know.
My neurosurgeon said to me weknow about 10% of what happens
in the brain, like the daybefore he cut me open, by the
way, which was not comforting atall.
Besides the fact, he knew howto remove a tumor.
And we talked about meds alittle, me and him and the idea
(54:23):
that the meds we take hopefullydo certain things that we need,
but we really don't know.
There's so much more to thebrain.
So when these meds perhapsaren't working anymore, you need
to build tools to support youwhile using them, so that if you
want to ever wean off of themif that's your choice you know
you have the tools and the skillsets to be able to do that.
Speaker 2 (54:47):
Yeah, and it's a unique to each individual case
the methods or tools or peoplewho will be able to help you.
So it's, I'm just saying it'snot an easily answered question,
but one of the things that Joagain offers is she'll work with
(55:11):
someone, she's working withsomebody and they're in an
environment, in a householdthat's not safe, and so the
number one thing in order forthis person to get off of
prescriptions is really tochange the environment.
Now that may take some timebecause you have to save up
money for rent is really tochange the environment.
Now that may take some timebecause you have to save up
(55:34):
money for rent and et cetera, etcetera, but you can't skip the
notion or skip the phase thatequals you getting to a safe
place.
So if your, your environmentsnot safe, that that can be a
challenging thing and that, butthat that will also be a
critical piece to get success ofcoming off a prescription drug.
(55:57):
You know there are certainthings that you as a human need
to be able to conquer or getwith a challenge in your life.
So it's a great question.
Speaker 1 (56:09):
And it is different for everyone.
Speaker 3 (56:11):
Yeah, it's unique and different for each person.
Speaker 2 (56:15):
And I think like Joe like Joe, prescriptions can be
helpful to get you through acertain phase, but I think, just
like anything else, whetherit's a lollipop or a smoking
cigarette or whatever else youlike to do, you don't really
want to do it your entire life.
You don't want to drive a Vespamoped your whole life, right?
Speaker 1 (56:34):
Hey, someone may want to.
Speaker 2 (56:35):
Yeah that's true?
Speaker 3 (56:36):
Or they might want to smoke their whole life.
Speaker 1 (56:37):
Yeah, I'm sure there is One last piece that I want to
respond to.
The question is this Anytime,if you ask the question, how do
I get through this?
You're already starting, do youunderstand?
As soon as you open up and say,wow, I don't want to drink
every night, or I don't want todo this, or I don't want to do
(57:00):
that, I don't know if it'shelpful, you're already on the
path.
Speaker 2 (57:04):
Of being courageous.
Speaker 1 (57:05):
Yeah, of being courageous, because you're being
curious about what you're doing.
That's all Not judging.
I'm not judging.
I'm saying wow, why do I alwaysneed coffee?
Or why do I always have to havesomething sweet after I eat?
And people will label thesethings as oh well, that's just
normal.
No, it's not.
Label these things as oh well,that's just normal.
(57:28):
No, it's not.
Some of the things like wantinga drink every night isn't
normal.
I'm sorry, I'm not saying it'swrong, but do you see how we
normalize things?
People normalize things so theyfeel good about themselves.
What I say is tell the truthand feel nothing Like I'm okay
when I overeat.
It's not, oh my God, I didsomething wrong.
It's like, no, I overeat.
I had French fries and I wentfor it and they were good, and
(57:51):
so the first piece is there'sthe courage, and the second
piece is finding someone who canhold that for you and
co-regulate.
And if y'all want to beextraordinary humans, when you
regulate yourself and you cancome back and you can find
neutrality, people will want tobe around you, and that's how
(58:16):
you change the world, from yourbeing, from your embodiment.
Just from allowing them toco-regulate with you changes
them.
Speaker 2 (58:29):
Right and witnessing being in partnership with my
wife, with Joe.
I think it's important also notto forget that transformation
is a fairly tall order.
Changing something is a fairlytall order and we have those
metaphors in nature where it'slike the butterfly, the
(58:52):
caterpillar becoming thebutterfly, the salmon swimming
up the stream to spawn.
These are very challengingthings.
So always be gentle and kind toyourself and you know the yoga
will allow it to help you gowithin, to believe in yourself,
(59:13):
listen to your heart, that thoseare.
Those are some of the thingsI've witnessed, you know,
because being a female, being anentrepreneur in a fitness
industry her whole entire life,it's kind of like a salmon
swimming up a stream.
This would never happen in 1993.
Speaker 1 (59:36):
When I was 19, when I started teaching yoga.
No nobody would.
I would come home and my dadwould say are you teaching
yogurt again?
I'm like it's yoga.
Speaker 2 (59:46):
Yeah, and tried to talk her out of her first
business of doing that just be aschoolteacher and don't do
anything else.
All those types of things andnot to say one thing is better
than the other.
Just saying this personaljourney that I've witnessed and
the time that I've been with you, it's like a mindful
challenging.
Speaker 3 (01:00:10):
It's like a mindful challenging one step up two
steps back.
Speaker 1 (01:00:13):
So trust yourself, we're going to wrap up.
If you feel you have traumaunmet, I want to tell you it is
(01:00:34):
worth everything.
It's worth it all to meet itand to integrate it and to live
from a place of raw authenticityand meet life raw and allow it
to happen.
It's worth the pain, it's worthstaying in bed, it's worth
crying, it's worth losing anyonethat doesn't get me, anyone
that was still stuck in my oldparadigm.
(01:00:55):
It was worth having no onebesides my husband.
It's worth it to find yourself.
I guarantee you you will be sosatisfied when you meet you and
you realize you're not whathappened to you, you're not the
(01:01:17):
stories, you're not what peoplesay about you.
Some people say things about me.
They don't even know who I am.
They don't even know who I amand the beauty is all the trauma
, all the stress you've beenthrough your life, your families
they've created and helped keepyou alive.
So everything you've ever donewas survival.
(01:01:38):
When you work through that, youget to thrive and you thrive as
you and you don't care aboutthe outer world because you're
like dude, I'm cool because I'mwith me and I'm being me.
And if my being me aggravatesyou, then go deal with you, go
figure yourself out.
But it is worth understandingwhat you went through and then
(01:02:01):
learning tools to be with thatand then process it and
integrate it and move as one,because you can't cut out your
memories.
I can't take out I'm fromHudson County, kearney.
You know that's like it.
I'm from Kearney and I talkweird sometimes, like draw or
(01:02:21):
some things.
You know whatever.
Or that I had a tumor, or thatI had a tumor, or that I was
dyslexic, or that I was this.
I can't take those things away,but they don't impact me now
because I don't believe them.
You see, that's what we're goingto talk about.
What do you believe?
Trauma and things.
You look outward and you saywho am I?
(01:02:41):
According to that, it's like no, who am I in here?
And that takes time to getthere.
That's a process, but a processhas steps.
A process isn't dwelling indarkness.
There's these steps to get outof it and yoga has laid out the
steps before you the eight limbs.
Engage in them, participate inthem and just don't take a yoga
(01:03:04):
class and think you're all goingto change, because you're not.
It's just one little aspectthat will impact you.
From that I just got like ading and a hook that we're
wrapping up because I could justkeep going and we will expand
on some more of this stuff and Iinvite our friends that are
(01:03:27):
live to send me emails I mean,we're going to be together after
this but also emails at becomeone living at gmailcom.
Become one living at gmailcomemails with questions that we
could talk about or reach out.
If you want information on yogatherapy or internal family
(01:03:49):
systems and different things towork through trauma, I can also
refer therapists if you need orif you know someone you can ask
around for that.
But thank you for joining usand thank you for our friends
that were on Instagram and we'reout.
Hello and welcome to Become One Living.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
And thanks for everyone for being here.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
Yes, so today is a live podcast and in-house we're
at Yoga Bohemia in Long BeachIsland, New Jersey.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
And we're excited to have live people to interact
with and ask questions andanswer questions.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Yeah.
So in the room we have peopleour friends new friends, some
that we've known for a long time, new friends, some that we've
known for a long time and we'retalking today about trauma and
the nervous system and yoga,because we have a lot of yogis
(00:58):
and yoginis here.
My name is Jodi Dahmerstadt andthis is my husband, Dan Boisitz
.
Why do we talk about thesethings and why, today, am I
sharing about trauma?
Trauma's everywhere.
Now the word is finally out andit's trending.
(01:21):
I'm excited about that in manyways.
In other ways, I'm kind ofresistant to it, I guess because
I don't want us to get thisfearful idea of trauma.
I want to be able to talk abouttrauma or experiences that feel
(01:43):
or felt traumatizing, openlyand without shame or fear of
what someone's going to thinkabout us.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
But what's great about how you've gotten to here,
joe, is yoga is your foundation.
Yoga is a big part of your life.
It has been for a really longtime and so, as you've gone
through your journey of yoga,other things have influenced you
that are not independent ofyoga, but supportive of yoga and
(02:12):
almost one with yoga in termsof information that just now
corroborates or supports orinforms how yoga helps people or
can help people or providetools to help people to
transform.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
Yeah, and that's been your journey.
Yeah, so that's why I sit heretalking about trauma.
I have been severelytraumatized, thank you.
I mean, who hasn't in thisworld?
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Life's challenging.
Yeah, life's stressful.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
And two things.
First I want to start off with,yoga is about non-duality.
So, if you're listening in, orour friends that are here with
us, live, there's this conceptof purusha and prakriti, energy
and material, or black and white, hot and cold, duality, good or
(03:08):
bad this happened to me.
It's bad that happened.
It's good.
In yoga, in the study of yogaphysical, mental, emotional,
yoga we seek equanimity,neutrality, meaning life happens
and we don't have to move.
We can stay steady and say, oh,I'm witnessing myself get mad.
(03:29):
That's prefrontal cortex.
Or I'm going to get mad and I'mgoing to react.
That's the limbic system.
So in the nervous system it iskind of black and white.
Is there a gray?
Absolutely, but let's look atit in this moment as dualistic.
You're either in fight orflight, you're on and you're
(03:51):
scanning, or you're resting anddigesting, which means, wow, I
feel safe in this moment.
What we were talking about inthe room a couple minutes before
we started was I invite you alllistening and I invite everyone
live again to ask yourself howdo I experience stress?
(04:12):
And all stress is is any event,any person, place or thing,
anything that pulls you off ofbalance, off of your homeostasis
, off of your rhythm.
You're going on with your dayand you get a flat tire.
Boom, that's stress.
That's stress.
You go home to eat somethingand someone ate your leftovers
(04:35):
that's stress.
Stress doesn't have to bebigger than you don't like your
job or your job is stressful andyou go every day.
That's stress.
Now, what does that do to you?
Physiologically andpsychologically?
Your body responds to thatstressor, releasing hormones
(05:03):
cortisol and adrenalinereleasing hormones, cortisol and
adrenaline.
So I want to talk aboutcortisol because when Dan and I
walked this morning we discussedit.
Cortisol is released over timeand it has to do with metabolism
.
That's why there's if you'veseen, they say, they say, oh, if
(05:24):
you gain weight around themiddle, that could be cortisol.
So cortisol is released overtime to help you deal with
low-grade stress.
That's happening often.
Adrenaline is a quick rush.
It's needed to get you out of asituation.
It creates alertness and focus.
(05:45):
You're crossing the street anda speeding car is coming.
That's adrenaline.
It's going to get you out ofthe way.
Cortisol is just going to helpyou get through the day.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
Yeah, I'm wondering just real quickly.
I'm wondering how muchinformation do you want to share
before you invite questions?
Speaker 1 (06:13):
Oh, I don't know.
Well, maybe now shall we AnyoneQuestion.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
I mean, you're welcome to you know.
Just, you're invited to askquestions.
We don't want you to feel likeyou're witnessing something that
you're not a part of.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
Well, I want to give a little more info and then
we'll see if anything comes up.
Yeah, I'm sure we have a livelygroup here to let us know.
I want to go back, back andback and back to the beginning
of time.
That's a joke, because I don'teven know when time started,
(06:52):
because it's linear anyway.
And oh, that's a whole otherpodcast about how time doesn't
exist in the brain.
It doesn't exist.
It only exists because we takememories and add them in
sequential order and now we'vecreated this timeline.
Okay, forget that, forget.
I said that I want to go back.
So you have the prehistoricbrain.
(07:13):
Is the brain that is wiredstill at this time, and it's the
primitive brain.
It is sensing your environment,the people around you asking
are these people safe, is thissafe or is this unsafe?
Okay, that's the prehistoricbrain.
(07:33):
When you move up into themiddle of the brain is when
emotions start to come, themammalian brain, the mammalian
brain where you add in theamygdala, you have fear.
You have the emotions in themidbrain and we call it the
limbic system, the limbic center.
(07:54):
If you Google this or we weresaying what is it?
Chat, it or what this?
I Chat, tbt, yeah, chat, yes,what this?
Speaker 2 (08:05):
I, yeah, chat Chat.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
TBT?
I have no idea, but if youGoogle this and try to research
it more, you may see multipleparts of the brain are called
the limbic center, because allneuroscientists have different
views.
What I share with you is thehippocampus, the amygdala and
(08:27):
the thalamus.
Those are what we're going totalk about.
To keep it simple, now you'rescared or you're stressed,
you're smelling and things smelloff.
You go to the midbrain andemotions rise.
This ain't right.
This ain't right.
Something's off.
You go to the hippocampus andyou pull memories of what
(08:49):
happened.
That's where memories are.
You go to the hippocampus andyou go where has this happened
before?
Where do I?
How can I predict this?
So now, let's say I'm mad atJackie, or Jackie did something
and I'm, or my husband someone,and I'm mad at Jackie, or Jackie
did something and I'm, or myhusband, someone and I'm mad at
them.
I might not be mad at them.
It might be from a memory fromthe past that I'm pulling into
(09:12):
the moment, blaming him, whichis what we call now projection.
You're projecting on me.
Yeah, I'm very well, maybe,because that's what I remember.
That's what happened.
Now, how do you get through this?
How do you work through this?
How do you work with this inthe prefrontal cortex that's
(09:34):
here the front of the brain I'mpointing to my forehead, if
you're listening.
Prefrontal cortex is also knownas the neocortex, the new
cortex we have evolved tocritical thinkers.
I remember seeing, like a comicstrip strip of a caveman and
(09:56):
he's like I got an idea.
Once they got that idea, thefront of the brain started to
grow to problem solve.
Executive functioning In thatarea is where witnessing happens
.
It's where you can separateenough to see oh, that's
happening and I feel mad, but Idon't have to react.
(10:19):
I don't have to react.
In that way I actually cancreate space.
I don't have to react in thatway.
I actually can create space.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
That's great, witnessing, yeah.
Consciousness, witness,awareness, all prefrontal.
And what takes you there?
Speaker 1 (10:35):
What takes you to the prefrontal cortex.
You do Yoga does Mindfulness,yoga does Mindfulness,
prefrontal cortex.
Just because you do asanadoesn't mean you can go
prefrontal.
You have to do the system ofyoga for prefrontal engagement,
(10:57):
meaning you have to move yourbody.
Yes, you also have to be ableto concentrate one-minded focus.
You have to be able to sitstill sometimes.
You have to be able tocritically think yamas and the
niyamas.
You need to use the eight limbsof yoga and study them to the
(11:21):
point where you embody them,meaning you can live with them
for a little while and then usethem to build a capacity to work
through work with your stressand or your trauma.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
Yeah, asana is great in that way, in that in ways
that you begin to tell yourself,oh, I'm having one of these
days, oh, or this is going to beone of these days, or I'm
having that memory and thosepatterns begin to inform you as
well.
So shaking out the body in theasana class is a great tool so
that you can create theawareness of what's affecting
(12:09):
you or supporting you, andthings may come up repeatedly
that you want to begin to unpack.
So it's great to shake out yourbody.
You have to shake out your body.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
It's the quickest way to release excess energy is
movement.
And I don't mean alignmentmovement Sometimes I mean most
of the time.
I mean just do cat-cow, get onyour hands and knees and move
your spine.
And why spine Rocking?
Movement helps to regulate thenervous system Rocking.
(12:45):
When babies cry, what happens?
Moms or people pick them up andshake them, jostle them, move
them.
My mom is known for any kidcrying, sweeping it up and
rocking it.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
Yeah, yeah, yeah Right, and a healthy.
My teacher in craniosacralshared with us that the very
first move an embryo or babycoming out of the birthing woman
makes is literally, if it'sbeing born healthfully and its
(13:17):
head is face down your body asthe baby, you literally do this
motion to help your mom and bein unison with your mom to work
your way out.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
So Dan is showing flexion and extension of the
neck, the head presses againstthe birth canal and tucks back
in to help push out, to helpcome out in unison with the
mother.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
Right.
So I mean, never underestimatethe simple things that you
discover in your asana.
Those things, cat-cow is justcritical, crucial.
Healthy can remedy so manythings.
And just in that one, extensionand inflection.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Yes, extension and inflection of the neck, because
the 10th cranial nerve comesfrom your brain, down the sides
of your neck.
The 10th cranial nerve is thevagus nerve.
That's another new big, trendyword that everyone is talking
about the vagus nerve, and itmeans the wandering nerve.
(14:21):
It is the only nerve in thebody that touches every organ,
every organ.
I'm going to say that again.
It's a nerve that's in thebrain, that connects to every
organ your heart, your lungs,your stomach, your intestines.
And we were discussing beforewhy does my belly shut off?
(14:41):
Why does digestion stop?
Because there is a threat.
There's a perceived threat.
Now I'm using the wordperceived for a reason your
brain doesn't know what's realor fake, doesn't know.
That means if I tell a story toour friends live and it's not
(15:06):
healed, I will start tophysiologically release the
hormones attached to that storyand I'll start to experience it.
That's why sometimes, whenpeople share with me, they feel
things after sharing becausethey've relived what just
(15:26):
happened.
So perceived threat isimportant to understand that
what you think is reallyinforming your whole physiology.
So that's not wooey, wooey airfairy.
When someone says what youthink, you become.
No, that's real.
So if you're continuallyfearful and afraid of life.
(15:49):
You will experience life asfearful.
Trust me.
I was there After having astroke and tumor.
I was afraid to sleep.
For years I thought if I fallasleep I'm not going to wake up,
I'm going to die.
That was what my nervous systemtold me, until I had to learn
(16:13):
to regulate my nervous system toget it out of freeze or
collapse and to come back hometo say whoa, I'm here.
Now I'm not there anymore.
But I had to first admit it andI hope y'all hear this and this
is what I shared with the groupand I will always share this
(16:34):
Tell the truth and tell it quick.
Tell the truth and tell itquickly, not to the world, but
to you.
I feel severely depressed.
Awesome, let's start with that.
My life is a complete mess,perfect.
I stay up all night and buythings and hide them from my
husband.
Let's go there.
(16:57):
I'm sharing that because I'm anIFS practitioner, internal
family systems practitioner.
It's a psychology it's awesomecreated by Dick Schwartz, and I
work with people's parts.
We work with their parts.
If you don't acknowledge yourparts, you will live in threat
(17:23):
of your parts.
You'll be afraid of depression,you'll be afraid of anger,
You'll be afraid of your traumaresponse and then you can't heal
it.
So we need to build the Become.
One Yoga Therapy method helpspeople build a capacity to hold
whatever's here, to hold it andthen to rewire your nervous
(17:45):
system to be able to regulateaccording to life.
We're not trying to biohack,we're not trying to regulate out
of pain.
No, you want to be able toregulate with it and live life,
not push away things that youdon't like.
I tried that.
It was very lonely, I wasafraid of life.
(18:06):
We didn't go to a concert forhow many years?
Speaker 2 (18:10):
You mean since Pink.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
Yeah, it was five years, I think, after brain
surgery, or even seven.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
It was a long time.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
I couldn't go to concerts after brain surgery and
the story was oh, I'm toosensitive.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
Yeah, I mean, forget concerts, it was just crowded
places.
Speaker 1 (18:29):
Okay.
All right, I couldn't go to thefood store.
It was huge to get to a concert.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
You're sharing such great information, joe, but can
you say something more about thevagal?
Because the vagal nerve is anincredible nerve to me.
It innervates all of the organsinside of you and it's easy to
forget.
It's easy to look out and saysomething stresses me externally
, but something external foodthat you eat, that, say, one
(18:56):
body's allergic to, that informstoo and puts you on alarm from
the inside out.
Speaker 1 (19:01):
Yeah, so we have things called top down and body
up.
Body up is more primitive andmovement and top down is more
mental, where you somethinghappens and it tells something
happens and the brain tells thebody how to react.
And then sometimes you eatsomething and it tells the brain
(19:23):
how to act.
So, polyvagal theory this isthe theory and I wrote down
notes so that I stay on trackbecause I love to share whatever
I can.
(19:43):
Immobilization is the firstpart of the polyvagal theory and
that's associated with freezeand shutdown.
Immobilization I'm shuttingdown, freeze and as babies we
were discussing babies all theyknow at first is to lay there,
flip over and crawl, slitherlike lizards and snakes.
(20:04):
That's primitive brain andthey're known for freezing.
That's the only response theyhave.
The only primitive is freeze orscream and yell.
Speaker 2 (20:18):
Like a lizard.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
Like a lizard, yes.
The next is mobilization, whichis fight or flight.
So you become immobilized, youfreeze In the freeze response.
Here's some symptoms Inimmobilization, in freeze, it's
associated with thyroid issues,low heart rate, low blood
(20:44):
pressure, malnourishment,inability to digest.
Those are all symptoms of beingfrozen.
When I was in the hospital, theyhad a heart rate monitor on me
all the time and they thought Iwas an elite athlete because my
heart rate was 40.
An elite athlete because myheart rate was 40.
(21:07):
Like resting, heart rate was 40.
And it's sleep?
Well no, when I would sleep itwould drop and they would panic
because I was in completeshutdown.
My heart rate was so low.
So if you get up and you'redizzy, that could be part of a
shutdown response, could be.
It could be other things, butthese are things I hope that
(21:27):
open you up to look at.
Am I really that stressed?
Yes, probably.
Or have I been traumatized?
And what is trauma?
Before I go to mobilization,what is trauma?
It is an event that overwhelmsthe nervous system, where you
(21:47):
cannot wrap your head aroundthis.
It's like what just happened.
Where did this come from?
And I can't even conceive whathappened.
That's a threat, that's atrauma.
So stress is a littledisruption throughout your day,
(22:11):
okay.
And then a trauma is an eventin which your nervous system is
so overwhelmed it can't makesense of what's happening.
So a simple car accident istraumatizing and people will
come out and say, no, I'm fine.
Meanwhile their car is totaledand they'll be like I'm fine.
Speaker 2 (22:34):
I'm like I mean, is that adrenaline yeah?
Speaker 1 (22:37):
The adrenaline kicks in.
But I was going to say, I wantto say to them you don't even
know, you're not.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
Yeah right, you don't .
Speaker 1 (22:45):
You don't know, you're not.
Yeah right, you don't, youdon't know you're not okay
because of the adrenaline.
Adrenaline gives you juice tofunction and to survive.
That's why, after an event, itcould take 24 to 48 hours to
just come down from the event.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
Most people don't come down from a day of work,
right, right.
Yeah, I'm thinking too, ifyou're in an accident also now
you have a compound, if you'llhave a physical injury, now
you'll be emotionally andphysically and with the physical
body.
If you go to those physicalpoints that have felt, the
(23:25):
impact that will summon.
Those responses Can be both.
I mean, they're informative,but once you learn to get with
them, just be with it, that canhelp you take you back to a
homeostatic or a better placethan from where the accident and
the injury is.
It can take you to ahomeostatic or a better place
than you know from where theaccident and the injury is.
(23:47):
It can take you to a betterplace, yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:50):
Dan saying that reminded me of a word
interoception.
That is so you have.
Proprioception is me in spaceunderstanding.
Okay, dan's next to me.
To my left there's people on myright.
Proprioception is physical mewhere I am.
Interoception are the signalsinside your body.
(24:12):
It's you getting to know themand I shared a little about this
earlier.
For people that have anxiety,excitement may register as
anxiety.
They might not even know thatthey're excited.
They may have anxiety for solong that they think, oh my God,
I'm so anxious.
(24:32):
And some people that live inshutdown mode when they start
creating or they get excited andwant to play, they won't be
able to do that.
That will be seen as dangerousbecause they've got to stay shut
down, they've got to play dead,they've got to stay collapsed.
(24:54):
So coming out of that could bea threat.
To stay collapsed, so comingout of that could be a threat.
So it's normal to not want tochange.
I hope you all hear this.
If you struggle with changinghabits or you struggle with
changing your life, then you'rehuman.
(25:15):
Congratulations, because theway the brain works is.
It loves predictability andfamiliarity.
Because if you could predictwhat's going to happen, then
your odds of staying alive aregreat.
Speaker 2 (25:30):
You have to be courageous to transform.
Everyone that comes to workwith you on a one-on-one basis
to get the tools that you haveto offer and, because it's our
household you share sometimesand and it's to me feels like
it's always an initialresistance.
(25:51):
There's an always initial, aninitial oh that.
Well, that's not me, they justshared what it is to you and
then it feels like but theydon't want to own it.
So there's a resistance and soit takes courage to transform
and it's nothing that you shouldpretend you're going to do in a
day.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
The brain learns small, repeatable actions over
time.
If you want to change anything,it has to be small enough that
you can do it.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
Which is right out of the Yoga Sutra.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
That's the Yoga Sutra .
Repetition over time with loveequals change.
That's in the Yoga Sutras.
It's 1.14.
Time.
Going back to what Dan said, iscourage to change.
(26:56):
I knew something was wrong veryyoung I'm talking about seven
when I was eating a box ofcookies and my mom said where
are the cookies?
And I would say I don't know.
When.
I would lie right to her face.
I knew something was wrong.
And then, moving on, when Iwould cut myself, I knew
something was wrong and then itled to other and other things
(27:17):
addiction and depression andtreatment and all these other
things it led to.
I had yoga since my teens.
I've been teaching yoga,studying yoga since my teens.
I was doing the practices,knowing I wasn't right, knowing
I wasn't right, knowing thatthere was another way to live.
(27:37):
And even today or yesterday,when I was preparing for the
podcast, I ask myself thesequestions still.
So, being courageous means am Iprepared today?
Did I do my due diligence?
Who's showing up today?
(27:58):
Am I angry today?
Today I was crying, I meditateda little and Dan goes.
What was there?
And it was so impactful, whatrose?
I started crying when Irealized certain things that are
still here and present.
But the yoga, the system ofyoga, if practiced, is innately
(28:19):
trauma-informed, because it saysstart with understanding.
You Study yourself.
If you're afraid of yourself,you will get nowhere.
If you're not willing to turnon the lights and say, wow, I
see the darkness, I see thebrokenness or the challenges,
(28:42):
that's when you get to say, okay, I'm ready.
And you might not be able to doit then either, but at least
you're willing.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
And me and Joe are definitely the dark and the
light, so just the same, it'slike you could be afraid of your
greatness.
You could be afraid of howawesome you know you can be.
That can set you fearful.
So again, courage, you know,coming from your heart, or going
into your heart and listeningdeeply to your heart.
(29:12):
And when you're doing yoga,listening deeply, not with your
ears, with every cell of you,you're doing yoga listening
deeply, not with your ears, withevery cell of you, all of your
senses, listening so deeply thatyou begin to understand
yourself.
Because yourself will tell youwhat you need and you may need
to change a habit orgeographically move to another
(29:33):
country.
You know your heart will tellyou that, and then it takes the
resources that you've got tosummon up to make those things
happen for yourself.
But if you listen deeply andmove your body regularly, you'll
be inching toward thatlifestyle.
Speaker 1 (29:52):
And Dan sharing he comes from light and I come from
the dark is very much our life.
Welcome to our being.
When I met Dan, Dan is, healways saw things so positively.
It was innate in him.
For me it wasn't innate.
(30:12):
It was negativity was innate,Fear was innate.
It was a practice and anunfolding and a healing and a
removing of the layers to learnthat life is safe.
That's not what I experienced,that's not what I learned, so
the practices can help both.
Speaker 2 (30:32):
Right, and neither is better.
Speaker 1 (30:33):
Oh no, it's yoga, it's duality.
We are the example.
And look, you can't see ifyou're listening, I have black
on.
He has like white.
It's perfect.
We are dualistic, but at theroot it isn't good or bad, it's
the way we can have theseconversations.
And it's the last piece.
(30:55):
So that was beautiful.
The last piece is socialengagement.
So the polyvagal theory isimmobilization, mobilization and
then social engagement, whichis the most evolved part of the
brain, which is safety andconnection part of the brain
(31:21):
which is safety and connection.
So we go from frozen disconnectto running around frenetically,
scared, anxious, fight orflight to I'm connected and I'm
safe.
That's where we want to get andthat goes back to where I
started sharing.
I want a world that talks aboutthis.
I'm okay being talking aboutdeath and darkness and God or
(31:44):
divine energy or all thosethings that people don't want to
hear.
I'm okay with that.
That's just what I enjoy.
Actually, I know it's a littleweird, a little dark.
I know it's a little weird, alittle dark, and there's always
space for everything.
Speaker 2 (31:59):
Yeah, Back, I don't even remember when, but when I
used to go to yoga and theywould say come with an open mind
.
You know, to me that's sopowerful and the statement that
I come to it's just this sillylittle statement is that to come
with an open mind?
It's like if you like vanillaice cream cones, that doesn't
(32:23):
mean you don't have to likechocolate.
You know what I mean.
And, being as the state of theworld right now seemingly seems
to be perceptively so divisive,it's like to return back to like
.
Just because someone likes onecolor doesn't mean they don't,
at some point in their lifetime,want to experience the other
(32:44):
colors, you know.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
So allow yourself your journey and to expand yeah,
and before we wrap up, a lot ofthe neuroscience that I've
studied was throughneurosculpting school that I
took with Lisa Wimberger yearsago, and that's when I realized
I never felt safe.
And we're wrapping up thispodcast, but we'll share more on
(33:10):
trauma because it's it's huge.
It's, it's a big topic and ifyou know more it, you may be
able to learn to heal yourselfor work with someone that can
support you in bringing yournervous system back to your
balance, your homeostasis, yourplace where you thrive, which is
(33:31):
different from where I thriveand Dan thrives, and meanwhile,
that's what yoga is.
Yoga is about exploring selfthrough the body, against the
teachings.
You hold the teachings.
Am I doing this?
Am I doing that?
Who's doing this?
With inquiry and compassion?
Yeah, man, I think everybodyshould do yoga and I'm not an
(33:57):
absoluter, so I'm going toabsolute that we all need a
little yoga in our lives.
So any questions?
Anyone live?
Oh, we have questions.
Okay, whether it's trauma orstress.
Speaker 3 (34:15):
I know I want to get rid of it as quickly as possible
.
Are you saying I should jump onmy yoga mat and that will help
me?
Speaker 1 (34:24):
No, I just want it over with.
Yes, great question.
So the question was whetherit's stress or trauma.
I just want to get it over with.
So should I jump on the mat orjournal or something?
We had a little question aboutthat earlier, and what I'm going
to say, too, is we first don'twant to get rid of anything,
(34:48):
because as soon as we don't, wewant to get rid of something.
It's a perceived threat.
So I don't want to feel thisstress.
I got to get it out, I got toget rid of it.
Or I don't want to be depressed, but you're depressed, but I
don't want to be.
So that implies that that'sdangerous.
I don't want to feel this.
(35:08):
I don't like it.
Now the brain then goes intofight or flight or freeze,
because you're fightingsomething that you're
experiencing.
Fight or flight or freezebecause you're fighting
something that you'reexperiencing.
How do you then work with this?
That's what I want to share iswork with it.
Wow, I'm so anxious right now,or stressed.
(35:29):
It doesn't feel good.
Tell yourself that Not, I got toget rid of it.
This doesn't feel good.
My heart is racing.
I have diarrhea, you know, orgas, or I'm anxious.
I feel like I want to throw up.
I don't like this.
Say that to yourself.
That's the first part is Idon't like this.
And then you move back a littleand you say I wonder if there's
(35:53):
anything that I can do tosupport myself in this moment,
not to get rid of it.
I don't know if that seemssplitting hairs, but we're not
trying to get rid of anything.
We're trying to get with it, toregulate our nervous system
with it.
So the question would then behmm, what's here?
(36:15):
And then sometimes it might beshaking out, getting on your mat
, and then other times it may begoing for a walk and other
times it may be calling a friendand say I'm really sad, will
you listen?
Speaker 2 (36:29):
So your instinct is great, yes to move, but not
exactly for that reason, youknow, right, unfortunately it
could be a deeper dive for you,for anyone.
But the instinct to move, mostassuredly, is good, is healthy,
(36:53):
and we like yoga, but I mean youcould be dance, swimming.
Speaker 1 (36:58):
Shaking, wiggling, rocking.
Speaker 2 (37:01):
It's a good idea, and one of Joe's modalities that
she practices is you move thebody and then you speak to and
dive into what comes up in thatmoment.
Yes, so you're not coming witha preconceived.
I'm going to like you're goingto your mental health care
worker and you're like, oh, Ican't wait to get there, but
what am I going to talk about?
And you're trying to come upwith something to talk about
(37:22):
just so you can fill the hour.
So maybe you don't even have toaddress what you really need to
.
You know what I mean?
It gets too heady.
So moving, shaking up the bodycan bring you to a great place.
Speaker 1 (37:38):
The to a great place.
The way I do it is I take ajournal, put it by the side of
my yoga mat, and I do a yin poseor cat-cow.
I do simple and the simplicityis familiarity, right.
So keep it simple cat-cow or ayin pose, pigeon, half saddle,
and be with yourself and breatheand say, yeah, what's here,
(38:02):
what's here If that's whatyou're called to, so that you're
somatic, there's this big wordagain now it's been around
forever, but everyone's asomatic person now.
But what somatic really meansis there's a dialoguing also,
okay, so it's not just movement.
So if you want to work throughor with something that's here,
(38:24):
it's movement and dialoguing,and not dialoguing to get rid of
it, dialoguing to be with it,and then maybe next thing, you
know you're journaling.
Wow, I'm really angry and Idon't know where this is coming
from, so that you start to builda relationship with yourself.
One more question Questions,yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:51):
Is it more to?
Speaker 3 (38:56):
be like accepting where you are more question
questions.
Speaker 1 (39:03):
Yeah, yes, yes.
The question was if you, is itto accept where you are and if
you keep doing that, will itheal or unwind on its own?
Yes, carl Rogers, I think,calls it unconditional positive
(39:25):
regard.
Yes, I repeated itUnconditional positive regard,
because compassion is where Inthe front of the brain To shift
something.
We want to shift it from love,compassion and clarity, not from
(39:45):
fear.
It's I got to get rid of this?
Is I got to kill this?
I got to destroy this becauseit's attacking me or it's
dangerous.
But when we separate it and say,wow, I'm really sad today and
you start to feel towards thatsadness compassion, or I'm angry
(40:06):
, and you feel compassiontowards yourself for that anger
and you start to converse withit like an old friend, that's
when it heals, because you wouldnever say to a friend don't be
angry.
I hope you wouldn't say that.
You would say tell me what'sgoing on.
That's how it shifts.
It's like, yeah, I'm furious, Iwant to break stuff, I have a
(40:29):
Hulk part, I want to smash, yeah, and to love that part because
it's protecting you.
So stress and anxiety they'rehere for information and so it's
what's the information that Ican learn to transmute it, not
get rid of it but alchemize itto fuse into my life, to fully
(40:53):
be who I'm meant to be, insteadof trying to push things away
and keep things at bay.
So, yeah, acceptance.
Acceptance, that's prefrontalcortex.
It's not a positive affirmationLike I love you, no, you don't
I'm healthy, no, you're not.
It's like, wow, I'm so not welltoday.
(41:17):
What do I need to be held to beacknowledged?
And that's a practice, right,that's entrainment.
How can I train myself to havecompassion?
And going back just briefly towhat Dan said me coming living
(41:39):
negatively was very challengingfor me to be kind of dialogue or
conversation, just was shutdown.
Speaker 2 (41:59):
But when I met Jodi, I started to witness this
pattern of like her mom wouldcall her sister Deb, so the
sisters and it was like onewould say, like how's your day?
And it's like, oh, I stubbed mytoe and then it would be like
the response would be oh my God,I stubbed my toe and I hit my
elbow and it was like it wouldgo on and on.
(42:20):
It was like a competition tosee who had the worst day and
I'm like I'd rather have myfamily stuff and just get shut
down, because it's like where doyou go from there?
But the point is to recognizethe patterns within you and
within your family and withinyour greater community.
And yoga includes tools thatare to be done independently, by
(42:55):
self and then community, lotsof community things chanting or
yoga in classes, asana inclasses, you know.
So there's always a variety oftools at your disposal to move
your understanding of yourselfforward, but don't ever use a
sledgehammer and always be kindto yourself and don't think it's
supposed to happen overnight,but trust your instincts, moving
your body to shake it out.
Yeah, that's like you know,there's plenty of people that's
like well, just get up and dance, you know, or dance, whatever
(43:17):
soothes the soul.
I mean, and we're at a, I feellike a stage in life where
everything can be, has thepotential to be therapy for you.
So if you like to play thepiano, playing the piano can be
therapy for you.
If you like to dance, dance canbe therapy for you.
If you like to journal,journaling can be therapy for
you.
If you like to haveconversations and improvise,
(43:42):
that can be something healthyfor you.
You just have to listen, withevery piece of you, to what
really makes you feel good.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (43:47):
We've moved so far away from self, and that is from
childhood.
We could talk about that inother podcasts.
We shift who we are to get ourneeds met.
We become who we need to be inrelationship to family, friends,
parents, aunts, uncles to getour needs met.
And then we're here.
I'm 50, we're here at 50 or inour 30s or whenever we wake up
(44:11):
and we say, well, who am I?
I don't know this person andthat's when the unpacking starts
.
The idea of becoming one isn'tthat you're not one, you already
are one, but you forgot becauseyou're covered up.
And the yoga practice, thesystem of yoga practice, is to
(44:34):
remind you who you are.
That doesn't happen in justasana and that's why I promote
the system and not just physicalclasses, because it just can't
happen, because we'remultidimensional, not because
it's a Jodyism and because Jodydoesn't like it.
Who cares about Jody?
We're multidimensional, we'rephysical, we're mental, we're
(44:55):
emotional.
We're not just physical beings.
There's another question.
So somebody in the chat?
Speaker 3 (45:01):
asked and I think it had to do with Joan's question
is how do you do the opposite,feeling the darkness and wanting
to dwell?
Speaker 1 (45:09):
in it.
When you feel the darkness andyou want to dwell in it is when
you have to move.
So in an Ayurvedic medicine orwhen we look at the nervous
system.
If you're dwelling in thisheaviness or the shutdown, you
need to go run or shake and thecollapse.
(45:31):
You need to come out of thecollapse, even if it's just a
little movement.
So sitting here I could just go, I can rock, I'm rocking
forward and back.
Doesn't have to be a great bigmovement.
But I was in collapse for a fewyears and didn't want to do any
yoga or any movement or notwork out, do nothing.
And so sitting in meditationwas addictive because I thought,
(45:56):
well, I'm enlightened, I'mbecoming enlightened and I don't
have to move.
And that lack of movementactually kept me further away
from meeting what was there.
Speaker 2 (46:08):
And just to add right before what Jodi just shared to
that question, though, I wouldoffer that just become more
aware also of your dwelling inthat and then learn how to dwell
just enough.
Speaker 1 (46:27):
We call that titrate.
What you do is you go in andyou come out, so you dwell, and
I was a dweller.
And then I would go watch amovie.
You dwell, you sit in it, likewow, I'm really, I'm in it, I'm
in it and you don't try tofigure it out, and then you go
for a walk.
So we want to let go of thisconcept that yoga, yoga is about
(46:51):
relationship and what dan said,that was beautiful.
It's like I'm dwelling in this.
Okay, stay with it, but if it'snot helpful, get out of it.
Go call a friend, go to a movie, go do something so there's
something to.
Speaker 2 (47:06):
There's something to all those things that have been
discovered, like um, I forgetthe number of hugs a day can
help you.
You know you should have sixfriends that you can call and
have a conversation with to helpyou move forward with something
that's troubling you, Becausecontrarily is typically what a
(47:28):
human does when they're notfeeling good about themselves is
shut down and get alone and getsolitary.
Speaker 1 (47:35):
And the time we live in is isolation, especially
during the pandemic.
Yeah Right, we were isolatedand I've learned, I became used
to being isolated.
Like Dan would say, oh, we'regoing out to dinner, and I'd be
like, yeah, and the day wouldcome I'd be like I don't want to
go Horrible, like two hoursbefore going out on a date, you
(47:57):
know, on a dinner date withfriends.
Speaker 2 (47:59):
it's like no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
And I'm thinking I know this isgoing to be great for her and
she's going to be talking thewhole time, but I'm just, I have
to like endure this resistancethere's a cutest meme on
instagram with batman he's alego he's in a cave, his cave
yeah, and br and Bruce is sayingyou really should go out and
meet people.
Speaker 1 (48:16):
No, no, you would like it.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
And he just starts like goingno, no.
And I sent it to Dan, who's notan Instagrammer because he goes
every time we're going to dosomething.
I contract and I think no, no,I don't want to.
I contract and I think no, no,I don't want to.
That is a default.
Someone used that word earlierand so if you dwell in the
(48:40):
darkness, one two is toacknowledge, yeah, life is dark,
there is darkness, and alldarkness is is the covering of
the clouds, and not to be afraidof the darkness.
And if it does get scary,that's when you get help.
By the way, I have a team.
I have a team.
So when people are like, whatam I supposed to come to you the
(49:04):
rest of my life?
Yeah, you are.
Or find someone else.
I'm not getting rid of my teampeople.
I have my IFS practitioner, Ihave an Akashic Records person,
I have this.
I have that.
That is not a luxury, that's anecessity, because I go deep and
I go dark and if I can't getthrough it on my own, I'm
(49:25):
getting help.
So that is also important tohear.
We're not meant to do thisisolated.
We're meant to do this ingroups and with people that can
support the level we're at.
Okay, the reason I know some ofthe stuff I know personally is
not many people could handle meI really I'm joking and I'm not.
(49:50):
They couldn't handle the traumaI experienced.
I hadn't found someone.
Now you're going back 10 yearswhen it really broke open for me
.
Now the biggest thing is allthese trauma therapists.
Now it's different now, butyears ago even 15, 20, when I
was putting myself in atreatment center because I
(50:10):
thought I was going to go crazy.
I was.
I was losing it from processingsomething that was way bigger
than me.
So get help and find someonethat you work with.
Okay, what else do we got?
Speaker 2 (50:26):
Any other questions?
Speaker 1 (50:33):
Yeah, question Okay.
Speaker 3 (50:38):
What if you went through some trauma and you
couldn't deal with it and you goon antidepressants.
Now how do you find your wayoff of them, or like to feel?
Speaker 1 (50:57):
all of the stuff.
So the question was what if youexperienced a trauma and you
forgot about it or you didn'tfeel or pushed it down?
Speaker 2 (51:06):
Take prescription.
Speaker 1 (51:07):
And you then go on a prescribed medication to help
deal with life, to help function.
How do you come off of them orhow do you reintroduce yourself
naturally and organically?
That could take some time andI'm not anti-meds.
(51:28):
I'd like to just say that Ibelieve if anyone needs anything
in the moment and it helps them, you better do it.
Okay, when I went into the ERand they were like you need this
, this and this, I was like Iopened up my arms and my elbows
and I said get going, stick mewith anything you need to to
help me survive All right.
(51:49):
After that piece is getting atherapist or a practitioner or
someone that you feel connectedwith.
This is something so importantbeyond credentials.
I work with people in IFS whereother people think I don't know
if that's your skill set.
(52:10):
My skill set is meeting youwhere you're at.
If you can regulate enough andbe with me and do parts work,
we're good.
We can move beyond anything.
So the first thing would be tomeet and find someone that you
truly feel safe with, not thatyou think knows.
So, as a yoga teacher, we havesome yoga teachers in the room
(52:33):
and maybe some online If youwant to be an extraordinary yoga
teacher.
First, get yourself straightand co-regulate on your own and
be able to co-regulate and thenbe able to help your students
co-regulate, because that's thepart I was sharing about social
engagement and safety.
(52:53):
So I would say, interview asmany people as you need to find
someone that you feel you couldwork through this process with
and make sure please everyonehear this make sure the person
you work with has a plan, has aprocess for you, has steps for
(53:13):
you to meet, because we don'twant you just talking about what
happened, like years ago.
That's what I did.
That's why I stopped talktherapy.
It was like, oh my God, I gotsick of hearing me talk about
the problem.
I know what's wrong.
Look at me, I'm it.
Tell me what to do or how canwe find a plan.
(53:34):
So make sure you find someone.
This goes for everyone.
You have something you want tochange, good, connect, feel the
connection with someone and theninterview them.
Make sure they have a plan foryou to follow to bring you back
or to get you out of whereyou're in, right To journey
through this so you can functionat the level you want, because
(53:59):
after a time perhaps the medsmight not work for the person
anymore?
We don't know.
My neurosurgeon said to me weknow about 10% of what happens
in the brain, like the daybefore he cut me open, by the
way, which was not comforting atall.
Besides the fact, he knew howto remove a tumor.
And we talked about meds alittle, me and him and the idea
(54:23):
that the meds we take hopefullydo certain things that we need,
but we really don't know.
There's so much more to thebrain.
So when these meds perhapsaren't working anymore, you need
to build tools to support youwhile using them, so that if you
want to ever wean off of themif that's your choice you know
you have the tools and the skillsets to be able to do that.
Speaker 2 (54:47):
Yeah, and it's a unique to each individual case
the methods or tools or peoplewho will be able to help you.
So it's, I'm just saying it'snot an easily answered question,
but one of the things that Joagain offers is she'll work with
(55:11):
someone, she's working withsomebody and they're in an
environment, in a householdthat's not safe, and so the
number one thing in order forthis person to get off of
prescriptions is really tochange the environment.
Now that may take some timebecause you have to save up
money for rent is really tochange the environment.
Now that may take some timebecause you have to save up
(55:34):
money for rent and et cetera, etcetera, but you can't skip the
notion or skip the phase thatequals you getting to a safe
place.
So if your, your environmentsnot safe, that that can be a
challenging thing and that, butthat that will also be a
critical piece to get success ofcoming off a prescription drug.
(55:57):
You know there are certainthings that you as a human need
to be able to conquer or getwith a challenge in your life.
So it's a great question.
Speaker 1 (56:09):
And it is different for everyone.
Speaker 3 (56:11):
Yeah, it's unique and different for each person.
Speaker 2 (56:15):
And I think like Joe like Joe, prescriptions can be
helpful to get you through acertain phase, but I think, just
like anything else, whetherit's a lollipop or a smoking
cigarette or whatever else youlike to do, you don't really
want to do it your entire life.
You don't want to drive a Vespamoped your whole life, right?
Speaker 1 (56:34):
Hey, someone may want to.
Speaker 2 (56:35):
Yeah that's true?
Speaker 3 (56:36):
Or they might want to smoke their whole life.
Speaker 1 (56:37):
Yeah, I'm sure there is One last piece that I want to
respond to.
The question is this Anytime,if you ask the question, how do
I get through this?
You're already starting, do youunderstand?
As soon as you open up and say,wow, I don't want to drink
every night, or I don't want todo this, or I don't want to do
(57:00):
that, I don't know if it'shelpful, you're already on the
path.
Speaker 2 (57:04):
Of being courageous.
Speaker 1 (57:05):
Yeah, of being courageous, because you're being
curious about what you're doing.
That's all Not judging.
I'm not judging.
I'm saying wow, why do I alwaysneed coffee?
Or why do I always have to havesomething sweet after I eat?
And people will label thesethings as oh well, that's just
normal.
No, it's not.
Label these things as oh well,that's just normal.
(57:28):
No, it's not.
Some of the things like wantinga drink every night isn't
normal.
I'm sorry, I'm not saying it'swrong, but do you see how we
normalize things?
People normalize things so theyfeel good about themselves.
What I say is tell the truthand feel nothing Like I'm okay
when I overeat.
It's not, oh my God, I didsomething wrong.
It's like, no, I overeat.
I had French fries and I wentfor it and they were good, and
(57:51):
so the first piece is there'sthe courage, and the second
piece is finding someone who canhold that for you and
co-regulate.
And if y'all want to beextraordinary humans, when you
regulate yourself and you cancome back and you can find
neutrality, people will want tobe around you, and that's how
(58:16):
you change the world, from yourbeing, from your embodiment.
Just from allowing them toco-regulate with you changes
them.
Speaker 2 (58:29):
Right and witnessing being in partnership with my
wife, with Joe.
I think it's important also notto forget that transformation
is a fairly tall order.
Changing something is a fairlytall order and we have those
metaphors in nature where it'slike the butterfly, the
(58:52):
caterpillar becoming thebutterfly, the salmon swimming
up the stream to spawn.
These are very challengingthings.
So always be gentle and kind toyourself and you know the yoga
will allow it to help you gowithin, to believe in yourself,
(59:13):
listen to your heart, that thoseare.
Those are some of the thingsI've witnessed, you know,
because being a female, being anentrepreneur in a fitness
industry her whole entire life,it's kind of like a salmon
swimming up a stream.
This would never happen in 1993.
Speaker 1 (59:36):
When I was 19, when I started teaching yoga.
No nobody would.
I would come home and my dadwould say are you teaching
yogurt again?
I'm like it's yoga.
Speaker 2 (59:46):
Yeah, and tried to talk her out of her first
business of doing that just be aschoolteacher and don't do
anything else.
All those types of things andnot to say one thing is better
than the other.
Just saying this personaljourney that I've witnessed and
the time that I've been with you, it's like a mindful
challenging.
Speaker 3 (01:00:10):
It's like a mindful challenging one step up two
steps back.
Speaker 1 (01:00:13):
So trust yourself, we're going to wrap up.
If you feel you have traumaunmet, I want to tell you it is
(01:00:34):
worth everything.
It's worth it all to meet itand to integrate it and to live
from a place of raw authenticityand meet life raw and allow it
to happen.
It's worth the pain, it's worthstaying in bed, it's worth
crying, it's worth losing anyonethat doesn't get me, anyone
that was still stuck in my oldparadigm.
(01:00:55):
It was worth having no onebesides my husband.
It's worth it to find yourself.
I guarantee you you will be sosatisfied when you meet you and
you realize you're not whathappened to you, you're not the
(01:01:17):
stories, you're not what peoplesay about you.
Some people say things about me.
They don't even know who I am.
They don't even know who I amand the beauty is all the trauma
, all the stress you've beenthrough your life, your families
they've created and helped keepyou alive.
So everything you've ever donewas survival.
(01:01:38):
When you work through that, youget to thrive and you thrive as
you and you don't care aboutthe outer world because you're
like dude, I'm cool because I'mwith me and I'm being me.
And if my being me aggravatesyou, then go deal with you, go
figure yourself out.
But it is worth understandingwhat you went through and then
(01:02:01):
learning tools to be with thatand then process it and
integrate it and move as one,because you can't cut out your
memories.
I can't take out I'm fromHudson County, kearney.
You know that's like it.
I'm from Kearney and I talkweird sometimes, like draw or
(01:02:21):
some things.
You know whatever.
Or that I had a tumor, or thatI had a tumor, or that I was
dyslexic, or that I was this.
I can't take those things away,but they don't impact me now
because I don't believe them.
You see, that's what we're goingto talk about.
What do you believe?
Trauma and things.
You look outward and you saywho am I?
(01:02:41):
According to that, it's like no, who am I in here?
And that takes time to getthere.
That's a process, but a processhas steps.
A process isn't dwelling indarkness.
There's these steps to get outof it and yoga has laid out the
steps before you the eight limbs.
Engage in them, participate inthem and just don't take a yoga
(01:03:04):
class and think you're all goingto change, because you're not.
It's just one little aspectthat will impact you.
From that I just got like ading and a hook that we're
wrapping up because I could justkeep going and we will expand
on some more of this stuff and Iinvite our friends that are
(01:03:27):
live to send me emails I mean,we're going to be together after
this but also emails at becomeone living at gmailcom.
Become one living at gmailcomemails with questions that we
could talk about or reach out.
If you want information on yogatherapy or internal family
(01:03:49):
systems and different things towork through trauma, I can also
refer therapists if you need orif you know someone you can ask
around for that.
But thank you for joining usand thank you for our friends
that were on Instagram and we'reout.
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On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!