January 21, 2025 • 27 mins
Explore the importance and benefits of having a support system of good friends. Boundless proudly hosts Girls Night Out (GNO) programs for teenage girls that provide opportunities for authentic connection in a safe environment. A mix of neurotypical and neurodiverse girls gather to visit restaurants, cafes, Aveda spa treatments and more while strengthening their social circles. Join host Scott Light, Kelli James, Boundless peer and transitions supervisor, Brianne Kemp, a teenager in the GNO program, and Nicole Derifield-West, dream advisor at Aveda to hear the impact GNO is having to help alleviate depression and increase self-confidence while having tons of fun.
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Episode Transcript
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Scott Light (00:03):
Okay, to our guest today, let's start out with a
quick fill in the blank questionaround the horn, night out with
the girls is blank. Kelli, wouldyou start?
Kelli James (00:12):
Creating connections.
Scott Light (00:14):
I like it. Brianne?
Brianne Kemp (00:16):
Socializing and activities.
Scott Light (00:19):
Okay, all right.
Nicole, what do you think?
Nicole Derifield (00:22):
I am going to say a reprieve.
Scott Light (00:26):
We've got really, really good answers there. And
with that, we are out of thegate with our latest episode.
And by the way, this is our 50thepisode of Boundless Abilities,
a podcast brought to you byBoundless. Boundless is the
largest nonprofit in Ohio thatprovides services to individuals
with intellectual anddevelopmental disabilities and
(00:47):
behavioral health challengesthrough residential support,
autism services, primary healthcare, day programs, counseling,
and a whole lot more to childrenand adults. Our mission is to
build a world that realizes theboundless potential of all
people, I'm your host. ScottLight. Okay, so you heard their
voices. Now, let me properlyintroduce our great guest today.
(01:08):
Kelli James is peers andtransition supervisor here at
Boundless. Brianne Kemp is inthe Girls Night Out program,
which you'll hear a lot about.
And Nicole Derifield West is,how about this for a title,
folks, she's a Dream Advisorwith Aveda. Nicole, that's
pretty great.
Nicole Derifield (01:25):
It's really cool.
Scott Light (01:26):
Yeah, that is pretty cool. Welcome all. It's
good to have you here.
Kelli James (01:29):
Thank you for having us!
Scott Light (01:32):
Good, good, good, good. All right, so let's come
back to your answers. So, Kelli,you said Girls Night Out is
Kelli James (01:38):
Creating connections.
Scott Light (01:39):
Creating connections. Tell us more about
that.
Kelli James (01:41):
So I think that whenever I go out with my
girlfriends, it's reallyimportant that I have
opportunities for humanconnection. I think there are so
many times that we can feelisolated and having the
opportunity to find communitywith other women and support
other women and feel supportedby them. It's just so important.
Scott Light (02:01):
Kelli hanks for that. Bri, you said it's social
and it's activity rich. So tospeak about your girls night
out. So tell us more.
Brianne Kemp (02:11):
Um, like, I feel like we go out and like, I can,
like, socialize, like, withlike, other girls. I actually,
like, feel comfortable. So it's,like, always, like, really fun.
And then like activities, like,we go to like, different like
areas, and we like, just, like,hang out and like, do like fun
activities and just like gamesand like, we like, ask other
(02:32):
girls, like questions, like,like, no, click, like, know,
like, more about them. And justalways like, really, it's
really, really fun.
Scott Light (02:39):
Yeah.
Brianne Kemp (02:39):
I always enjoyed it.
Scott Light (02:40):
You're just being.
Brianne Kemp (02:40):
Yeah, just like, just like, be like yourself,
Scott Light (02:43):
Yeah, that's awesome.
Brianne Kemp (02:44):
Yeah. I love it.
Scott Light (02:45):
That's great.
That's great. Nicole, you said agirls night out is a reprieve.
Nicole Derifield (02:50):
I think, kind of piggybacking off of what Bri
said. You know, it's just thecommunity. It's a ability to or
opportunity to step away fromthe stress and the pressure of
your everyday and just be withpeople like you that understand
you and what you're goingthrough, and you can just like,
(03:11):
shake it off for a minute andjust enjoy a moment with other
people that you care about.
Scott Light (03:19):
So the reason why we are here is because we are
talking about the Girls NightOut program here at Boundless.
So let's start off broad here.
Kelli, would you tell ourlisteners about it?
Kelli James (03:29):
Yes. So our Girls Night Out program is currently
run for teenage girls, ages 14to 18, and the focus of the
program is that the girls are ina community based setting where
they work on self care andsocial skills. It's really
unique because it's girls withand without disabilities, and we
(03:50):
don't disclose who has adisability and who doesn't, and
so all of the girls are providedthe same materials, the same
opportunities, and it's aprogram that is meant for the
girls to find authenticconnections with each other, and
we are really grateful for thecommunity partners that we have
who welcome us into theirspaces. And something that's
(04:12):
really special about Girls NightOut at Boundless is we are the
only providers of Girls NightOut in Ohio.
Scott Light (04:18):
Wow, and the activities range from what to
what. What do you do?
Kelli James (04:23):
Oh, we do everything from getting our hair
done at Aveda, skincare atAveda, and we also go out to a
cafe. We go out to eat. We'veworked on wellness before,
getting to know you where we dospeed friending. We've been to
workout classes before. We'vedone a, Bri knows, is a wide
variety of things in Girls NightOut, and it's just so fun and
(04:45):
seeing the girls go from beingnervous and saying, I don't, I
don't know, I'm, I don't know ifI want to be a part of this, to
then at the second session,they're taking selfies together
and hugging each other, and justso excited to be there.
Scott Light (04:58):
That is awesome.
Speed friending is you just,like, opened my mind there, like
I had no idea that was a thing.
Kelli James (05:04):
Yeah it's awesome.
Scott Light (05:05):
And friending
Kelli James (05:06):
Yeah and Girls Night Out has materials that are
provided to help support all ofthe girls, because the main
focus of Girls Night Out is thatwe all have something to work
on. And so girls are givenconversation cards that are
specific to the activity thatwe're doing to support relating
to an activity and relating toothers, as well as a Girls Night
(05:27):
Out planner, where they talkabout the self care and social
activities they've been doingthroughout the week, as well as
having supporting visuals andextra activities they can do
throughout the weeks whilethey're not actively at Girls
Night Out.
Brianne Kemp (05:42):
Bri, what's your favorite part about Girls Night
Um, probably like seeing likeall, like the girls, and like
talking to them, and just likehaving like a normal
conversation, because, like, Ifeel comfortable talking to the
girls because they're all sosweet, and I love them all, and
Kelli makes me feel socomfortable, because she's just
(06:03):
amazing. I love like, herpersonality and like, how she
just like, like, just like islike positive and like wants to,
like, have like and like help usout. And I've, like, been
through a lot, and I feel likethis program has helped me get
through like, my anxiety and allmy like, depression and going
Out?
out with like and like, like,the real world, and like, uh,
(06:26):
talking to like, all the girls,like, how has helped me so much.
And I feel like other girlsshould definitely like join the
program. And I feel like theywould like them.
And you've done this twice.
I've done this twice. Yes, yes.
Scott Light (06:40):
Where have you been? Where have you gone?
Brianne Kemp (06:41):
We've gone out to eat, like to Roosters. We've
been to Kitty's Cafe. We've wentto, like a like a workout area.
What was that called? I forgot
Kelli James (06:53):
Aveda.
Brianne Kemp (06:53):
Aveda, that's probably my favorite, because
all the girls there are just,like, really sweet and I've
learned so much about like, skinand hair, and now that I know
more about it, I actually takecare of my skin and hair now. So
thank you. Thank you.
Scott Light (07:08):
Wow. Well, Nicole, that just tees you right up
here. My goodness, yeah. Sowhat's this experience been like
for you?
Nicole Derifield (07:16):
Absolutely rewarding and full of joy and
happiness, and it's just beenreally special to have this
relationship with Kelli and withBoundless and genuinely everyone
at the school gets very excitedwhen Girls Night Out comes
around. There are never enoughgirls in the program for all the
(07:40):
students that want toparticipate, and I think that's
a good problem to have, buteveryone just really gets
excited. Almost everyone hassomeone in their life that is,
you know, experiencing life in adifferent way. And I think it is
really rewarding for thestudents and for the staff to be
(08:01):
able to have this moment toconnect with people and help
them feel happy and beautifuland teach them some things. And
again, just give them a girlsnight out, a reprieve, and just
give them a special space wherethey can have some fun.
Scott Light (08:19):
What do the other stylists say? What have they
come back to you and said, youknow, something like, Nicole,
thank you so much for invitingme into this. This is awesome.
And don't we needthat? Yeah, we all need more of
Nicole Derifield (08:30):
Just that, and more usually, it's a lot of
that.
Yeah. And ourstudent body is very diverse,
smiles. I've had some tears,because they just have really
and our students are coming fromall kinds of backgrounds and all
genuinely enjoyed the experienceso much and felt so special that
they could participate in it,and just like genuine joy, just
(08:52):
genuine joy.
kinds of challenges. And I'm abig proponent of giving back. I
think when there's a lot ofchallenge going on in your life,
if you can zoom out and focusyour energy on helping someone
(09:15):
else, then it can kind of shrinkyour problems a little bit. And
I think this is another way forour students, who are dealing
with a lot in their lives, togive back, and it can be really
rewarding to them in ways thatthey might not have even
expected it to be well.
Scott Light (09:33):
And our listeners just heard Bri you talk about
how a girls night out can helpwith things like anxiety,
depression,
Brianne Kemp (09:41):
Yes
Scott Light (09:42):
And other things.
Would you, would you mindexpanding on that a little bit?
Brianne Kemp (09:45):
Yeah, like, you know how, like, some girls like
to stay at home, like, in theroom all day, just like having
all the thoughts get to them. Ifeel like, if you go out with
people that are like, kind oflike you in a way, you could,
like, express your feelings. AndI feel like, just like being out
in the open, like, withactivities, like, people that
like that, like, are kind oflike you in a way, and that,
(10:05):
like, understand you. I feellike your anxiety and
depression, like, just slowlygoes away because you're out of
people that like, make you feelcomfortable. And that happened
with me. Like, I use I stay homea lot, and I don't usually go
out a lot of places. So GirlsNight Out on Wednesdays are just
like, it every time I, like,leave, I'm always, like, in a
(10:27):
good mood. Because, like, Idon't really, like socialize a
lot with people. So like goingout with them and like talking
to them and like them, likeasking me, like, how I'm doing,
or, like, what are you doingtoday? Like, it just, like,
makes me feel good inside,because I know people care.
Scott Light (10:42):
I think we found a new spokesperson for the Girls
Night Out program.
Kelli James (10:46):
I need, like a commercial with,
Scott Light (10:49):
Seriously, and where you've just got this great
perma grin here in our studioand Boundless it's just, it's
just fantastic. So I went to Mr.
Google, or, should I say Ms orMrs. Google, since we're, you
know, we're talking about GirlsNight Out. All right, so I did a
little history here. Historyhere. It is believed that the
firfst ladies night out eventhappened back in the 1820s.
Believe it or not, there'slittle history here. So as you
(11:10):
might imagine, it was a way todraw women out to neighborhood
establishments back in the day.
And then ladiesnight eventuallybecame girls night out as time
went on, and then the verbiageis, it's still evolving, right?
There's there's girls weekend,there are girls getaways, and,
you know, all kinds of things.
So I'd love for any of you tojump in on just the importance
of women gathering with women.
Kelli James (11:34):
I think that women go through a lot of unique
experiences and being able toget together, and like Bri was
talking about having people whounderstand you and what you've
been through. Of course, not allwomen are going to have the same
experiences exactly, but beingable to find community with
other women and reallyempowering other women, I think
(11:57):
that's something that girlsnight out does, and something
that I find, even in my ownpersonal life, is when I get
together with girlfriends likeBri said, I always leave
smiling. I feel like my cup hasbeen filled because I've gotten
to experience joy around otherwomen and feel like I can
positively contribute to theirlives in the same way that they
(12:17):
positively contribute to mine.
Brianne Kemp (12:20):
Because, you know, like, girls have problems,
right? And like, no one reallyunderstands, like, boys
don'tunderstand what girls gothrough. Like all the girls,
like, go through, like, youknow, like, hormone things, and
like, like, makeup, skincare,hair, all that and I feel like,
if you get with like, othergirls, you can, like, just,
like, talk about it. And thenlike, I guess, like, understand
(12:43):
it more, because, like, othergirls, I guess, like, go through
different things, but like, westill kind of go, like, the same
thing. And I feel like theycould give you, like, makeup
tips, skincare tips, hair tips,all that kind of thing. And
just, like, honestly, being withlike, your girlfriends is just
like, like, a reward, kind of ina way, because I don't know like
I look like my friends, I feellike safe, like, in their
(13:05):
comfort, like, like I love myfriends, like, they're all
Nicole Derifield (13:08):
Well, this could probably be a whole other
really sweet.
podcast.
Scott Light (13:12):
Yeah, really.
Nicole Derifield (13:15):
But I think women have been gathering for
centuries. Like, you know, it'san instinctual thing. And I
think in society now, we're veryseparated from each other, and
our lives are verycompartmentalized. And I think
the beauty of these moments isthat we get back to that sense
(13:39):
of community and support andlove and care. And I think it's
like, intrinsically important towomen like we need it. We need
that community, and we need thatsupport and and sharing
knowledge and information witheach other, and, you know,
(14:02):
letting each other know thatyou're not alone in what you're
going through, and we're all,you know, facing the same
struggles or similar strugglesat some point in our life, and
just to know that you're notalone. And there's a whole other
group of people who are ready tocry or yell or break some things
(14:24):
with you whenever you need to.
So it's empowering.
Scott Light (14:29):
Yeah,
Kelli James (14:29):
Yeah, definitely, yes.
Brianne Kemp (14:31):
I agree with you.
Scott Light (14:32):
I've been married over 25 years, and my wife,
whose name is Julie and by andone of her best friends, her
name is Julie as well. My Juliewill say, I've, I want to bring
up something. And she will say,you don't need to fix this. I'm
kind of a fixer. And then she'llsay, I know.
Nicole Derifield (14:51):
Most men are.
Kelli James (14:52):
My husband too.
Scott Light (14:53):
And then she'll say, and I'm gonna go out with
Julie tonight. And I just, Ijust need some time. And I love
that. I absolutely that's abeautiful thing.
Nicole Derifield (15:04):
Yeah, yeah.
That's what all most womenreally need is just someone that
we can
Kelli James (15:09):
Confide in.
Nicole Derifield (15:10):
Scream into the void with.
Kelli James (15:11):
Yeah!
Nicole Derifield (15:13):
Like my, my best friend, she's really the
reason I've gotten connected tothis community, and I can send
her a message, or I can call herand just say I need to vomit.
And she's like, go, I've gotyou. And she doesn't try to fix
anything or make it better. Shejust lets me puke it out. And
(15:35):
go, yep, that's, that'saccurate. You're. Yeah, you're
valid in your feelings.
Kelli James (15:42):
The validation that you get from other women. Yeah,
it's really meaningful andempowering.
Brianne Kemp (15:47):
And I feel like all adults like me that like
that, like one person in theirlife, just like, go and, like,
talk to you. I feel like everyadult, like, needs, like a
break, just like a girl findout, because, like, there's
like, taxes and all the otherstuff that dogs go through. So I
feel like, like, going out with,like, your friends is like, a
really big, like, fun thing todo. Because, like, if I was an
(16:09):
adult and I had, like, like, Ihad to, like, do a lot of work
and like, go to, like, work andlike, take care of my kids, I
don't like that. I would want togo with my friends sometimes and
go out and, like, just, like,talk to them, like, like, catch
up on things and just like, hangout with them.
Scott Light (16:23):
Kelli, where the idea for this program come from?
Kelli James (16:27):
So the program was originally started by Kansas
City Medical University, andthat was in 2017 and they have
served over 100 girls and theirGirls Night Out program, and
they train facilitators acrossthe United States. So I was
provided a very specialopportunity by our Vice
(16:48):
President of Programs, and I wasable to fly out to Kansas and be
trained by the creator of theprogram and bring it back to
Ohio, and now we have beenrunning it for a year.
Scott Light (16:59):
Oh, wow. So this is, this is you're, you're
charting new territory here.
Kelli James (17:03):
Yes and we have a lot of really great plans for
2025 we are going to be having awinter party, a Galentines Day,
another 12 week program, and I'dlike to start a young adult
women's Girls Night Out as well.
Scott Light (17:19):
So the the the response has been enough to
where you can expand theprogram?
Kelli James (17:24):
Yes, definitely.
And we are always looking formore girls who want to
experience the community. Somany of the girls do have a lot
of isolating factors in theirlives, and it's really important
that we provide themopportunities that they might
not otherwise get, like goingout with girlfriends and getting
a facial together, going out toeat, there are some girls who
(17:46):
have never gone out to eat withgirlfriends, that they've never
been given that opportunity. Andif we can provide them the space
and the comfort and the safetyto socialize with other girls,
and also, we are such a bigproponent of self care that
they're able to really improvetheir confidence and find that
(18:07):
community.
Scott Light (18:10):
I've got a question here in my notes, and I just had
you know, has the programaccomplished, slashed, achieved
what you wanted? That's probablya no duh, because if you're
expanding and doing all thesethings, but let me switch it up.
What has been a surprise aboutthis program over the last year?
Kelli James (18:29):
I think the biggest surprise has been how quickly
the girls acclimate to beingaround each other, and how
supportive they become of eachother so quickly. They meet each
other at our initial meeting,where their families are there
to ask questions, and we do someicebreakers, and the second
(18:50):
meeting, when we do speedfriending, the girls are finding
their people. They'reinteracting with others. They're
really finding that this programis meaningful. And even girls
who, you know, oh, my family'smaking me do this, they're
immediately the second one,they're like, I'm all in. I'm
ready. And it's just so amazing.
And I mean, we have girls likeBri who want to do it again, and
(19:13):
who find it so meaningful thatthey want to keep coming, and
that I have gotten such aresponse from other clinicians
who say, like with the youngadult women group, people
saying, We have 10 referrals foryoung adult women who want to be
part of Girls Night Out, that wehave such an impact, and also
the impact we see with ourcommunity partners as well, has
(19:36):
just been amazing.
Scott Light (19:40):
Bri, if you had to, if you were asked such a
question, could you pick out theone most rewarding thing about
Girls Night Out?
Unknown (19:51):
Definitely like seeing, like the growth I had during it,
and just like seeing how moresocialized I was, and like more
comfortable, like speaking tothe girls and like asking, like,
you know, like meaningfulquestions and all that, I
definitely found like my likesafe space with Girls Night Out,
(20:13):
because everyone was just like,so like caring and just like
understanding, and I felt likeit was like my home in a way,
like everyone's my home in away.
Scott Light (20:22):
Wow.
Brianne Kemp (20:23):
I just love everyone there and like, I just
want to cry right now about it.
It's like, so meaningful.
Scott Light (20:28):
Safe, caring. Those are, those are powerful words.
Kelli James (20:34):
It is. It's a powerful program.
Brianne Kemp (20:36):
It really is. I would agree.
Scott Light (20:37):
Yeah. Nicole, could I ask you something similar, if
you had to pick one thing aboutthis whole experience,what is
that? What is that lastingaspect of it for you?
Nicole Derifield (20:48):
I would say, I guess, though, my overarching
thing today just joy. It's justfun, like it's so much fun. We
have so much fun. The studentshave fun. The girls have fun. We
love when Kelli is there. Wehave fun with Kelliand everyone
that she brings with her. It'sjust a room full of happy, and
(21:11):
that is not something that allof us get that often in today's
world. And so to be immersed ina room full of happy for several
hours is just gives megoosebumps, like it's just a
really cool experience.
Scott Light (21:31):
We have like a dozen hashtags already from this
podcast. We just have them allhere. Kelli and Nicole. Let me
ask you this, what would yourcall to action be if we have
other organizations out thereand they're listening to this
and they're going, hmm, maybe Ishould try this, what would your
(21:52):
call to action to them be? Whatwould it be to get them off the
fence to join in?
Kelli James (21:58):
the girls. It's such a unique experience for a
group of girls who, like I said,might not have these
opportunities previously, thatthey're being given those
opportunities to be integratedinto the community and find a
meaningful space with othergirls who can empathize with
(22:21):
what they're going through andfind commonalities, and for
community partners to reach outto us organically, would be
amazing just to see that thecommunity cares about these
girls too and what they have tooffer and the experiences that
they deserve. That's what wereally find with the community
(22:43):
partners is the ones thatcontinue to partner with us are
the ones who really see theimpact that it makes, and sees
they see that the girls deservethis.
Scott Light (22:54):
How can they find you?
Kelli James (22:56):
They can reach me at kjames@iamboundless.org.
Scott Light (22:58):
Nicole, what's your call to action to those other
organizations out there, helpget them off the fence and and
to jump in?
Nicole Derifield (23:07):
I would just say, what are you waiting for?
You're missing out. You'remissing out. It's, there's,
there's nothing bad. There's nonegatives. It's, it's genuinely
all positive. And again, like,there's not a whole lot in this
like that you can say that aboutthat's true. Um, so just stop
(23:27):
hesitating. Don't question it.
Just-
Brianne Kemp (23:30):
Just do it.
Nicole Derifield (23:31):
Just do it.
Thank you Bri. Just do it. Yeah.
Brianne Kemp (23:34):
Go out and do fun things, you guys. Yeah, join the
group.
Nicole Derifield (23:37):
Exactly.
Brianne Kemp (23:38):
Join the program.
Nicole Derifield (23:38):
Yes. It's really just a wonderful
experience.
Scott Light (23:41):
That's fantastic.
All right, so I started you offwith a fill in the blank
question. Let's, let's bookendthis way, and let's go big. I'm
going to ask all three of you togo big here. If you could do any
Girls Night Out with anyone inthe world, and go any place in
the world. Bri, where would yougo and who would you bring?
Brianne Kemp (24:06):
That's a really big question. Um, I would
probably go with either sixflags or Cedar Point.
Scott Light (24:14):
Solid call. Okay.
Brianne Kemp (24:15):
I like the roller coasters, and I would probably
bring, like, anyone?
Scott Light (24:23):
Anyone.
Brianne Kemp (24:24):
Billie Eilish,
Kelli James (24:26):
That's a good choice.
Scott Light (24:30):
That's a, that's a really good call.
Brianne Kemp (24:32):
Yeah, yeah. Like, who else would you like? She's
amazing singer,
Scott Light (24:37):
Yeah, she's just an amazing human too.
Brianne Kemp (24:39):
Yeah, I love her.
Scott Light (24:41):
She's just fantastic, Nicole. I don't know
how you follow that, but give ita shot.
Nicole Derifield (24:45):
I don't know either. Gosh,. It wouldn't
matter where I was, but I wouldwant to be with my mom and my
aunts. They are my tribe. Theyare the women that I have
learned everything from andsupport me and everything that
(25:09):
I'm doing and have showed me,you know, how to be a good
person, a caring person. And soany night with them is a
spectacular night.
Scott Light (25:25):
Okay? Kelli, bring it home.
Kelli James (25:26):
I have to agree with Nicole that anywhere my mom
is and anywhere my grandma is isthat's that's where I want to
be. They've given me everythingthat they can to help support me
and to make me the person I amtoday, and really show me how to
be a supportive women, woman ofother people, and to be able to
(25:51):
have programs like Girls NightOut, and really see the value in
supporting other people. Ilearned that from them and they
they can party.
Nicole Derifield (26:03):
Yes so can my mom and my aunts. They party
harder than I do, yeah.
Scott Light (26:10):
All right, okay, that's a great way to end it.
Kelli, Bri, Nicole, thank you.
Kelli James (26:16):
Thank you so much for having enjoyed
Brianne Kemp (26:17):
I enjoyed this.
Scott Light (26:18):
This has been great for listeners. Thank you as
well. Don't forget, you can bepart of episodes to come email
us your questions, comments,anything at
podcast@iamboundless.org. And bythe way, Kelli, again, thank
you. You're like the mostrequested staff member here at
Boundless to join the podcast.
Seriously, she is. She istotally amazing. And this is our
(26:40):
50th episode. This is awesome.
So don't forget, you can find usanywhere. Apple Spotify, we're
on all the channels, as theysay. This is Boundless Abilities
brought to you by Boundless
Okay, to our guest today, let's start out with a
quick fill in the blank questionaround the horn, night out with
the girls is blank. Kelli, wouldyou start?
Kelli James (00:12):
Creating connections.
Scott Light (00:14):
I like it. Brianne?
Brianne Kemp (00:16):
Socializing and activities.
Scott Light (00:19):
Okay, all right.
Nicole, what do you think?
Nicole Derifield (00:22):
I am going to say a reprieve.
Scott Light (00:26):
We've got really, really good answers there. And
with that, we are out of thegate with our latest episode.
And by the way, this is our 50thepisode of Boundless Abilities,
a podcast brought to you byBoundless. Boundless is the
largest nonprofit in Ohio thatprovides services to individuals
with intellectual anddevelopmental disabilities and
(00:47):
behavioral health challengesthrough residential support,
autism services, primary healthcare, day programs, counseling,
and a whole lot more to childrenand adults. Our mission is to
build a world that realizes theboundless potential of all
people, I'm your host. ScottLight. Okay, so you heard their
voices. Now, let me properlyintroduce our great guest today.
(01:08):
Kelli James is peers andtransition supervisor here at
Boundless. Brianne Kemp is inthe Girls Night Out program,
which you'll hear a lot about.
And Nicole Derifield West is,how about this for a title,
folks, she's a Dream Advisorwith Aveda. Nicole, that's
pretty great.
Nicole Derifield (01:25):
It's really cool.
Scott Light (01:26):
Yeah, that is pretty cool. Welcome all. It's
good to have you here.
Kelli James (01:29):
Thank you for having us!
Scott Light (01:32):
Good, good, good, good. All right, so let's come
back to your answers. So, Kelli,you said Girls Night Out is
Kelli James (01:38):
Creating connections.
Scott Light (01:39):
Creating connections. Tell us more about
that.
Kelli James (01:41):
So I think that whenever I go out with my
girlfriends, it's reallyimportant that I have
opportunities for humanconnection. I think there are so
many times that we can feelisolated and having the
opportunity to find communitywith other women and support
other women and feel supportedby them. It's just so important.
Scott Light (02:01):
Kelli hanks for that. Bri, you said it's social
and it's activity rich. So tospeak about your girls night
out. So tell us more.
Brianne Kemp (02:11):
Um, like, I feel like we go out and like, I can,
like, socialize, like, withlike, other girls. I actually,
like, feel comfortable. So it's,like, always, like, really fun.
And then like activities, like,we go to like, different like
areas, and we like, just, like,hang out and like, do like fun
activities and just like gamesand like, we like, ask other
(02:32):
girls, like questions, like,like, no, click, like, know,
like, more about them. And justalways like, really, it's
really, really fun.
Scott Light (02:39):
Yeah.
Brianne Kemp (02:39):
I always enjoyed it.
Scott Light (02:40):
You're just being.
Brianne Kemp (02:40):
Yeah, just like, just like, be like yourself,
Scott Light (02:43):
Yeah, that's awesome.
Brianne Kemp (02:44):
Yeah. I love it.
Scott Light (02:45):
That's great.
That's great. Nicole, you said agirls night out is a reprieve.
Nicole Derifield (02:50):
I think, kind of piggybacking off of what Bri
said. You know, it's just thecommunity. It's a ability to or
opportunity to step away fromthe stress and the pressure of
your everyday and just be withpeople like you that understand
you and what you're goingthrough, and you can just like,
(03:11):
shake it off for a minute andjust enjoy a moment with other
people that you care about.
Scott Light (03:19):
So the reason why we are here is because we are
talking about the Girls NightOut program here at Boundless.
So let's start off broad here.
Kelli, would you tell ourlisteners about it?
Kelli James (03:29):
Yes. So our Girls Night Out program is currently
run for teenage girls, ages 14to 18, and the focus of the
program is that the girls are ina community based setting where
they work on self care andsocial skills. It's really
unique because it's girls withand without disabilities, and we
(03:50):
don't disclose who has adisability and who doesn't, and
so all of the girls are providedthe same materials, the same
opportunities, and it's aprogram that is meant for the
girls to find authenticconnections with each other, and
we are really grateful for thecommunity partners that we have
who welcome us into theirspaces. And something that's
(04:12):
really special about Girls NightOut at Boundless is we are the
only providers of Girls NightOut in Ohio.
Scott Light (04:18):
Wow, and the activities range from what to
what. What do you do?
Kelli James (04:23):
Oh, we do everything from getting our hair
done at Aveda, skincare atAveda, and we also go out to a
cafe. We go out to eat. We'veworked on wellness before,
getting to know you where we dospeed friending. We've been to
workout classes before. We'vedone a, Bri knows, is a wide
variety of things in Girls NightOut, and it's just so fun and
(04:45):
seeing the girls go from beingnervous and saying, I don't, I
don't know, I'm, I don't know ifI want to be a part of this, to
then at the second session,they're taking selfies together
and hugging each other, and justso excited to be there.
Scott Light (04:58):
That is awesome.
Speed friending is you just,like, opened my mind there, like
I had no idea that was a thing.
Kelli James (05:04):
Yeah it's awesome.
Scott Light (05:05):
And friending
Kelli James (05:06):
Yeah and Girls Night Out has materials that are
provided to help support all ofthe girls, because the main
focus of Girls Night Out is thatwe all have something to work
on. And so girls are givenconversation cards that are
specific to the activity thatwe're doing to support relating
to an activity and relating toothers, as well as a Girls Night
(05:27):
Out planner, where they talkabout the self care and social
activities they've been doingthroughout the week, as well as
having supporting visuals andextra activities they can do
throughout the weeks whilethey're not actively at Girls
Night Out.
Brianne Kemp (05:42):
Bri, what's your favorite part about Girls Night
Um, probably like seeing likeall, like the girls, and like
talking to them, and just likehaving like a normal
conversation, because, like, Ifeel comfortable talking to the
girls because they're all sosweet, and I love them all, and
Kelli makes me feel socomfortable, because she's just
(06:03):
amazing. I love like, herpersonality and like, how she
just like, like, just like islike positive and like wants to,
like, have like and like help usout. And I've, like, been
through a lot, and I feel likethis program has helped me get
through like, my anxiety and allmy like, depression and going
Out?
out with like and like, like,the real world, and like, uh,
(06:26):
talking to like, all the girls,like, how has helped me so much.
And I feel like other girlsshould definitely like join the
program. And I feel like theywould like them.
And you've done this twice.
I've done this twice. Yes, yes.
Scott Light (06:40):
Where have you been? Where have you gone?
Brianne Kemp (06:41):
We've gone out to eat, like to Roosters. We've
been to Kitty's Cafe. We've wentto, like a like a workout area.
What was that called? I forgot
Kelli James (06:53):
Aveda.
Brianne Kemp (06:53):
Aveda, that's probably my favorite, because
all the girls there are just,like, really sweet and I've
learned so much about like, skinand hair, and now that I know
more about it, I actually takecare of my skin and hair now. So
thank you. Thank you.
Scott Light (07:08):
Wow. Well, Nicole, that just tees you right up
here. My goodness, yeah. Sowhat's this experience been like
for you?
Nicole Derifield (07:16):
Absolutely rewarding and full of joy and
happiness, and it's just beenreally special to have this
relationship with Kelli and withBoundless and genuinely everyone
at the school gets very excitedwhen Girls Night Out comes
around. There are never enoughgirls in the program for all the
(07:40):
students that want toparticipate, and I think that's
a good problem to have, buteveryone just really gets
excited. Almost everyone hassomeone in their life that is,
you know, experiencing life in adifferent way. And I think it is
really rewarding for thestudents and for the staff to be
(08:01):
able to have this moment toconnect with people and help
them feel happy and beautifuland teach them some things. And
again, just give them a girlsnight out, a reprieve, and just
give them a special space wherethey can have some fun.
Scott Light (08:19):
What do the other stylists say? What have they
come back to you and said, youknow, something like, Nicole,
thank you so much for invitingme into this. This is awesome.
And don't we needthat? Yeah, we all need more of
Nicole Derifield (08:30):
Just that, and more usually, it's a lot of
that.
Yeah. And ourstudent body is very diverse,
smiles. I've had some tears,because they just have really
and our students are coming fromall kinds of backgrounds and all
genuinely enjoyed the experienceso much and felt so special that
they could participate in it,and just like genuine joy, just
(08:52):
genuine joy.
kinds of challenges. And I'm abig proponent of giving back. I
think when there's a lot ofchallenge going on in your life,
if you can zoom out and focusyour energy on helping someone
(09:15):
else, then it can kind of shrinkyour problems a little bit. And
I think this is another way forour students, who are dealing
with a lot in their lives, togive back, and it can be really
rewarding to them in ways thatthey might not have even
expected it to be well.
Scott Light (09:33):
And our listeners just heard Bri you talk about
how a girls night out can helpwith things like anxiety,
depression,
Brianne Kemp (09:41):
Yes
Scott Light (09:42):
And other things.
Would you, would you mindexpanding on that a little bit?
Brianne Kemp (09:45):
Yeah, like, you know how, like, some girls like
to stay at home, like, in theroom all day, just like having
all the thoughts get to them. Ifeel like, if you go out with
people that are like, kind oflike you in a way, you could,
like, express your feelings. AndI feel like, just like being out
in the open, like, withactivities, like, people that
like that, like, are kind oflike you in a way, and that,
(10:05):
like, understand you. I feellike your anxiety and
depression, like, just slowlygoes away because you're out of
people that like, make you feelcomfortable. And that happened
with me. Like, I use I stay homea lot, and I don't usually go
out a lot of places. So GirlsNight Out on Wednesdays are just
like, it every time I, like,leave, I'm always, like, in a
(10:27):
good mood. Because, like, Idon't really, like socialize a
lot with people. So like goingout with them and like talking
to them and like them, likeasking me, like, how I'm doing,
or, like, what are you doingtoday? Like, it just, like,
makes me feel good inside,because I know people care.
Scott Light (10:42):
I think we found a new spokesperson for the Girls
Night Out program.
Kelli James (10:46):
I need, like a commercial with,
Scott Light (10:49):
Seriously, and where you've just got this great
perma grin here in our studioand Boundless it's just, it's
just fantastic. So I went to Mr.
Google, or, should I say Ms orMrs. Google, since we're, you
know, we're talking about GirlsNight Out. All right, so I did a
little history here. Historyhere. It is believed that the
firfst ladies night out eventhappened back in the 1820s.
Believe it or not, there'slittle history here. So as you
(11:10):
might imagine, it was a way todraw women out to neighborhood
establishments back in the day.
And then ladiesnight eventuallybecame girls night out as time
went on, and then the verbiageis, it's still evolving, right?
There's there's girls weekend,there are girls getaways, and,
you know, all kinds of things.
So I'd love for any of you tojump in on just the importance
of women gathering with women.
Kelli James (11:34):
I think that women go through a lot of unique
experiences and being able toget together, and like Bri was
talking about having people whounderstand you and what you've
been through. Of course, not allwomen are going to have the same
experiences exactly, but beingable to find community with
other women and reallyempowering other women, I think
(11:57):
that's something that girlsnight out does, and something
that I find, even in my ownpersonal life, is when I get
together with girlfriends likeBri said, I always leave
smiling. I feel like my cup hasbeen filled because I've gotten
to experience joy around otherwomen and feel like I can
positively contribute to theirlives in the same way that they
(12:17):
positively contribute to mine.
Brianne Kemp (12:20):
Because, you know, like, girls have problems,
right? And like, no one reallyunderstands, like, boys
don'tunderstand what girls gothrough. Like all the girls,
like, go through, like, youknow, like, hormone things, and
like, like, makeup, skincare,hair, all that and I feel like,
if you get with like, othergirls, you can, like, just,
like, talk about it. And thenlike, I guess, like, understand
(12:43):
it more, because, like, othergirls, I guess, like, go through
different things, but like, westill kind of go, like, the same
thing. And I feel like theycould give you, like, makeup
tips, skincare tips, hair tips,all that kind of thing. And
just, like, honestly, being withlike, your girlfriends is just
like, like, a reward, kind of ina way, because I don't know like
I look like my friends, I feellike safe, like, in their
(13:05):
comfort, like, like I love myfriends, like, they're all
Nicole Derifield (13:08):
Well, this could probably be a whole other
really sweet.
podcast.
Scott Light (13:12):
Yeah, really.
Nicole Derifield (13:15):
But I think women have been gathering for
centuries. Like, you know, it'san instinctual thing. And I
think in society now, we're veryseparated from each other, and
our lives are verycompartmentalized. And I think
the beauty of these moments isthat we get back to that sense
(13:39):
of community and support andlove and care. And I think it's
like, intrinsically important towomen like we need it. We need
that community, and we need thatsupport and and sharing
knowledge and information witheach other, and, you know,
(14:02):
letting each other know thatyou're not alone in what you're
going through, and we're all,you know, facing the same
struggles or similar strugglesat some point in our life, and
just to know that you're notalone. And there's a whole other
group of people who are ready tocry or yell or break some things
(14:24):
with you whenever you need to.
So it's empowering.
Scott Light (14:29):
Yeah,
Kelli James (14:29):
Yeah, definitely, yes.
Brianne Kemp (14:31):
I agree with you.
Scott Light (14:32):
I've been married over 25 years, and my wife,
whose name is Julie and by andone of her best friends, her
name is Julie as well. My Juliewill say, I've, I want to bring
up something. And she will say,you don't need to fix this. I'm
kind of a fixer. And then she'llsay, I know.
Nicole Derifield (14:51):
Most men are.
Kelli James (14:52):
My husband too.
Scott Light (14:53):
And then she'll say, and I'm gonna go out with
Julie tonight. And I just, Ijust need some time. And I love
that. I absolutely that's abeautiful thing.
Nicole Derifield (15:04):
Yeah, yeah.
That's what all most womenreally need is just someone that
we can
Kelli James (15:09):
Confide in.
Nicole Derifield (15:10):
Scream into the void with.
Kelli James (15:11):
Yeah!
Nicole Derifield (15:13):
Like my, my best friend, she's really the
reason I've gotten connected tothis community, and I can send
her a message, or I can call herand just say I need to vomit.
And she's like, go, I've gotyou. And she doesn't try to fix
anything or make it better. Shejust lets me puke it out. And
(15:35):
go, yep, that's, that'saccurate. You're. Yeah, you're
valid in your feelings.
Kelli James (15:42):
The validation that you get from other women. Yeah,
it's really meaningful andempowering.
Brianne Kemp (15:47):
And I feel like all adults like me that like
that, like one person in theirlife, just like, go and, like,
talk to you. I feel like everyadult, like, needs, like a
break, just like a girl findout, because, like, there's
like, taxes and all the otherstuff that dogs go through. So I
feel like, like, going out with,like, your friends is like, a
really big, like, fun thing todo. Because, like, if I was an
(16:09):
adult and I had, like, like, Ihad to, like, do a lot of work
and like, go to, like, work andlike, take care of my kids, I
don't like that. I would want togo with my friends sometimes and
go out and, like, just, like,talk to them, like, like, catch
up on things and just like, hangout with them.
Scott Light (16:23):
Kelli, where the idea for this program come from?
Kelli James (16:27):
So the program was originally started by Kansas
City Medical University, andthat was in 2017 and they have
served over 100 girls and theirGirls Night Out program, and
they train facilitators acrossthe United States. So I was
provided a very specialopportunity by our Vice
(16:48):
President of Programs, and I wasable to fly out to Kansas and be
trained by the creator of theprogram and bring it back to
Ohio, and now we have beenrunning it for a year.
Scott Light (16:59):
Oh, wow. So this is, this is you're, you're
charting new territory here.
Kelli James (17:03):
Yes and we have a lot of really great plans for
2025 we are going to be having awinter party, a Galentines Day,
another 12 week program, and I'dlike to start a young adult
women's Girls Night Out as well.
Scott Light (17:19):
So the the the response has been enough to
where you can expand theprogram?
Kelli James (17:24):
Yes, definitely.
And we are always looking formore girls who want to
experience the community. Somany of the girls do have a lot
of isolating factors in theirlives, and it's really important
that we provide themopportunities that they might
not otherwise get, like goingout with girlfriends and getting
a facial together, going out toeat, there are some girls who
(17:46):
have never gone out to eat withgirlfriends, that they've never
been given that opportunity. Andif we can provide them the space
and the comfort and the safetyto socialize with other girls,
and also, we are such a bigproponent of self care that
they're able to really improvetheir confidence and find that
(18:07):
community.
Scott Light (18:10):
I've got a question here in my notes, and I just had
you know, has the programaccomplished, slashed, achieved
what you wanted? That's probablya no duh, because if you're
expanding and doing all thesethings, but let me switch it up.
What has been a surprise aboutthis program over the last year?
Kelli James (18:29):
I think the biggest surprise has been how quickly
the girls acclimate to beingaround each other, and how
supportive they become of eachother so quickly. They meet each
other at our initial meeting,where their families are there
to ask questions, and we do someicebreakers, and the second
(18:50):
meeting, when we do speedfriending, the girls are finding
their people. They'reinteracting with others. They're
really finding that this programis meaningful. And even girls
who, you know, oh, my family'smaking me do this, they're
immediately the second one,they're like, I'm all in. I'm
ready. And it's just so amazing.
And I mean, we have girls likeBri who want to do it again, and
(19:13):
who find it so meaningful thatthey want to keep coming, and
that I have gotten such aresponse from other clinicians
who say, like with the youngadult women group, people
saying, We have 10 referrals foryoung adult women who want to be
part of Girls Night Out, that wehave such an impact, and also
the impact we see with ourcommunity partners as well, has
(19:36):
just been amazing.
Scott Light (19:40):
Bri, if you had to, if you were asked such a
question, could you pick out theone most rewarding thing about
Girls Night Out?
Unknown (19:51):
Definitely like seeing, like the growth I had during it,
and just like seeing how moresocialized I was, and like more
comfortable, like speaking tothe girls and like asking, like,
you know, like meaningfulquestions and all that, I
definitely found like my likesafe space with Girls Night Out,
(20:13):
because everyone was just like,so like caring and just like
understanding, and I felt likeit was like my home in a way,
like everyone's my home in away.
Scott Light (20:22):
Wow.
Brianne Kemp (20:23):
I just love everyone there and like, I just
want to cry right now about it.
It's like, so meaningful.
Scott Light (20:28):
Safe, caring. Those are, those are powerful words.
Kelli James (20:34):
It is. It's a powerful program.
Brianne Kemp (20:36):
It really is. I would agree.
Scott Light (20:37):
Yeah. Nicole, could I ask you something similar, if
you had to pick one thing aboutthis whole experience,what is
that? What is that lastingaspect of it for you?
Nicole Derifield (20:48):
I would say, I guess, though, my overarching
thing today just joy. It's justfun, like it's so much fun. We
have so much fun. The studentshave fun. The girls have fun. We
love when Kelli is there. Wehave fun with Kelliand everyone
that she brings with her. It'sjust a room full of happy, and
(21:11):
that is not something that allof us get that often in today's
world. And so to be immersed ina room full of happy for several
hours is just gives megoosebumps, like it's just a
really cool experience.
Scott Light (21:31):
We have like a dozen hashtags already from this
podcast. We just have them allhere. Kelli and Nicole. Let me
ask you this, what would yourcall to action be if we have
other organizations out thereand they're listening to this
and they're going, hmm, maybe Ishould try this, what would your
(21:52):
call to action to them be? Whatwould it be to get them off the
fence to join in?
Kelli James (21:58):
the girls. It's such a unique experience for a
group of girls who, like I said,might not have these
opportunities previously, thatthey're being given those
opportunities to be integratedinto the community and find a
meaningful space with othergirls who can empathize with
(22:21):
what they're going through andfind commonalities, and for
community partners to reach outto us organically, would be
amazing just to see that thecommunity cares about these
girls too and what they have tooffer and the experiences that
they deserve. That's what wereally find with the community
(22:43):
partners is the ones thatcontinue to partner with us are
the ones who really see theimpact that it makes, and sees
they see that the girls deservethis.
Scott Light (22:54):
How can they find you?
Kelli James (22:56):
They can reach me at kjames@iamboundless.org.
Scott Light (22:58):
Nicole, what's your call to action to those other
organizations out there, helpget them off the fence and and
to jump in?
Nicole Derifield (23:07):
I would just say, what are you waiting for?
You're missing out. You'remissing out. It's, there's,
there's nothing bad. There's nonegatives. It's, it's genuinely
all positive. And again, like,there's not a whole lot in this
like that you can say that aboutthat's true. Um, so just stop
(23:27):
hesitating. Don't question it.
Just-
Brianne Kemp (23:30):
Just do it.
Nicole Derifield (23:31):
Just do it.
Thank you Bri. Just do it. Yeah.
Brianne Kemp (23:34):
Go out and do fun things, you guys. Yeah, join the
group.
Nicole Derifield (23:37):
Exactly.
Brianne Kemp (23:38):
Join the program.
Nicole Derifield (23:38):
Yes. It's really just a wonderful
experience.
Scott Light (23:41):
That's fantastic.
All right, so I started you offwith a fill in the blank
question. Let's, let's bookendthis way, and let's go big. I'm
going to ask all three of you togo big here. If you could do any
Girls Night Out with anyone inthe world, and go any place in
the world. Bri, where would yougo and who would you bring?
Brianne Kemp (24:06):
That's a really big question. Um, I would
probably go with either sixflags or Cedar Point.
Scott Light (24:14):
Solid call. Okay.
Brianne Kemp (24:15):
I like the roller coasters, and I would probably
bring, like, anyone?
Scott Light (24:23):
Anyone.
Brianne Kemp (24:24):
Billie Eilish,
Kelli James (24:26):
That's a good choice.
Scott Light (24:30):
That's a, that's a really good call.
Brianne Kemp (24:32):
Yeah, yeah. Like, who else would you like? She's
amazing singer,
Scott Light (24:37):
Yeah, she's just an amazing human too.
Brianne Kemp (24:39):
Yeah, I love her.
Scott Light (24:41):
She's just fantastic, Nicole. I don't know
how you follow that, but give ita shot.
Nicole Derifield (24:45):
I don't know either. Gosh,. It wouldn't
matter where I was, but I wouldwant to be with my mom and my
aunts. They are my tribe. Theyare the women that I have
learned everything from andsupport me and everything that
(25:09):
I'm doing and have showed me,you know, how to be a good
person, a caring person. And soany night with them is a
spectacular night.
Scott Light (25:25):
Okay? Kelli, bring it home.
Kelli James (25:26):
I have to agree with Nicole that anywhere my mom
is and anywhere my grandma is isthat's that's where I want to
be. They've given me everythingthat they can to help support me
and to make me the person I amtoday, and really show me how to
be a supportive women, woman ofother people, and to be able to
(25:51):
have programs like Girls NightOut, and really see the value in
supporting other people. Ilearned that from them and they
they can party.
Nicole Derifield (26:03):
Yes so can my mom and my aunts. They party
harder than I do, yeah.
Scott Light (26:10):
All right, okay, that's a great way to end it.
Kelli, Bri, Nicole, thank you.
Kelli James (26:16):
Thank you so much for having enjoyed
Brianne Kemp (26:17):
I enjoyed this.
Scott Light (26:18):
This has been great for listeners. Thank you as
well. Don't forget, you can bepart of episodes to come email
us your questions, comments,anything at
podcast@iamboundless.org. And bythe way, Kelli, again, thank
you. You're like the mostrequested staff member here at
Boundless to join the podcast.
Seriously, she is. She istotally amazing. And this is our
(26:40):
50th episode. This is awesome.
So don't forget, you can find usanywhere. Apple Spotify, we're
on all the channels, as theysay. This is Boundless Abilities
brought to you by Boundless
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