22. The Friendship Struggle: Finding Your People as a Busy Entrepreneur

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Today, we’re diving into something that’s been hitting hard lately—friendships. If you haven’t already, go back and check out Episode 19 with Troy Karnes, where we talk about friendships and overcoming challenges. He shares an amazing method called FORD (Family, Occupation, Recreation, Dreams) to guide conversations and deepen connections. I’ll link it in the show notes for you!

Why Is Maintaining Friendships So Hard?

If you’ve ever stared at your phone, wanting to text a friend but feeling too drained to type, or if your social circle has shrunk since becoming a parent or entrepreneur, this episode is for you! Today, we’re unpacking why friendships feel so challenging in adulthood and how we can nurture them even in the midst of chaos.

What’s Making Friendships Tough?

1. Time Constraints
2. Mental Load
3. Guilt

5 Practical Ways to Stay Connected Without the Stress

1. The Five-Minute Check-In Rule – You don’t need an hour-long conversation to show you care. A quick “Hey, thinking of you! How’s life?” text or voice memo keeps the connection alive.
2. Low-Effort, High-Impact Hangouts – Skip the fancy brunch plans that take months to coordinate. Try a walk-and-talk call, a coffee date at a kid-friendly park, or even a co-working Zoom session in silence.
3. Leverage Voice Memos – Texting can feel like a chore, but a quick voice memo makes it personal, easy, and engaging. Plus, your tone of voice adds warmth that text just can’t.
4. Create a Friendship Ritual – Whether it’s a monthly group chat, Friday meme exchanges, or a quarterly girls’ night, routines make it easier to stay connected.
5. Give Yourself Grace – Friendships don’t have to be perfect. The right people will understand that love isn’t measured in daily texts but in showing up when it truly matters.

Links & Resources:

• Episode 19 with Troy Karnes
• Submit Your Sip & Share Story: Click here to submit

Cheers! Thank you for joining us for another episode. Have a chaotic moment, question, or topic you want us to cover? Drop us a message or leave a review! If you loved this episode, share it with a friend who thrives in beautiful chaos too.

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Welcome to Caffeinated Chaos,where business deals happen
between diaper changes andfriendships are fueled by
caffeine.
I'm Whitney Uggen, your host,and I'm here to talk all things
business, parenthood, and ofcourse, keeping up with the
BFFs.
Whether you're juggling theboardroom, the playroom, or just
here for some coffee fueledchaos, we've got you covered.

(00:20):
Get ready for real talk, laughs,and a whole lot of heart as we
dive into the beautiful messthat is entrepreneurship,
parenthood, and everything inbetween.
So let's embrace the chaostogether.
Caffeinated, of course.
Welcome back to Caffeine Chaos,so today we're gonna be talking
about something that has beenhitting hard lately,

(00:43):
friendships.
And if you haven't already, Goback and listen to episode 19
with Troi Karnes where we talkabout friendships and overcoming
challenges.
It is a really good one.
In there, he talks about usingFord as a kind of a baseline for
what to ask friends, and that'sfamily, occupation, recreation,

(01:04):
and dreams.
So, that's a really goodepisode, so go back to that.
Again, that's episode 19.
I will link it down in the shownotes.
But, today, we are going to takeanother approach to friendship.
Have you ever found yourselfstaring at your phone waiting to
text a friend but feeling toodrained to actually type out the
message?
Or maybe you're starting to feellike your social circle is

(01:26):
shrinking since you became aparent or a business owner?
This episode is for you.
It's happened to me, so let'sget into it, okay?
Making friends and maintainingfriendships, especially the
maintaining part, as aentrepreneur and also as a
parent just feels likescheduling a zoom call with five

(01:47):
people in different time zones.
Nearly impossible, but let mesay, but we do need community.
And today we're going to betalking about why friendships
are so dang hard right now, howto navigate the guilt of feeling
like a Bad friend and somepractical ways to build
relationships even when the lifeeven when life is chaotic All

(02:09):
right, so grab your coffee andlet's get into it Okay, so let's
break it down Why doesfriendships feel so much harder
in adulthood, especially whenyou're running a business while
raising tiny humans?
first There's the whole timeissue When we're younger,
friendships happen naturally.

(02:30):
We saw them at school, at work,at random social events, but now
finding time to hang out withfriends feels like trying to get
your toddler to put on shoeswhen you ask the first time.
I know.
Impossible.
And then there's the mentalload.
Our brains are running alreadyat full capacity, balancing
work.
Deadlines, meal planning, schooldrop offs, if you have kids in

(02:53):
school, and remembering toswitch the laundry before it
gets too musky and smells like awet dog.
So, when do we get a freemoment?
Sometimes the last thing we haveenergy for is socializing, you
know?
Oh, and let's just forget aboutthe guilt that we have.
The I should have text backearlier, guilt, you know, or the

(03:18):
I saw that Instagram post andforgot to send a gif, guilt.
It's real and it's heavy and ifyou're nodding along, yep, I see
you and I promise, I promiseyou, you are not alone.
Okay, so.
We've established thatmaintaining relationships as a
business entrepreneur isbasically an extreme sport.

(03:42):
Let's talk about some realisticways to stay connected without
adding more stress to ouralready overflowing planes.
One.
I like this one.
The five minute check in rule.
You don't need an hour longcatch up session to show someone
you care.
You can send a quick, hey, I wasthinking about you, how's life
text.

(04:02):
It takes 30 seconds, but itreminds your friends that they
matter.
I've done this recently, too,where I've checked up with
friends and we're like, hey,yeah, I've been busy, you've
been busy, totally understandwhat's new, what's going on.
CliffsNotes version, right?
Also, I've done this with myfriends who are business owners
as well, or people that I know,and I just send them a quick

(04:23):
voice memo off of Instagram.
And so then it's like, how areyou?
Girl, I'm doing great! I saw youhave a new program.
Yeah, how's that going?
And so, it really is justsomething quick, you know?
Doing quick checkups definitely,definitely does work.
And you know, sometimes a fiveminute checkup might actually

(04:45):
turn into an hour check in.
All right, number two, loweffort, high impact hangouts.
Forget fancy brunches thatrequire courting schedules like
two months in advance.
Try the walk and talk phone callwhile you're pushing the
stroller, a coffee date at a kidfriendly park, or even a co
working space in silence on Zoomwhile you tackle your to do

(05:08):
list.
3.
Leverage voice memos.
Like I said before when I wastalking about the 5 minute rule,
typing out text can feel like achore, but sending a quick voice
memo is so much easier.
And it's kind of like leavinglittle mini podcast episodes for
your friends.
I love this.
Okay.

(05:29):
I also really love this as apodcast host, because some
people.
Because some people who want tobe my guest on podcasts will
leave me voice memos as a way tointroduce themselves.
And so I think that people areunder utilizing voice memos a
lot.
And it is a quick way to kind ofget your fix, get your point,

(05:50):
and they get to hear your toneof voice.
So they can hear your sincerityin the way that you're asking
about their lives more than theycan ever get from text.
Four, create a friendshipritual.
Set up a reoccurring reminder tocheck in with your people,
whether it's a monthly groupchat, a Hey, let's always send
memes on Friday tradition.

(06:11):
That's new.
I think I like that one.
Or a quarterly girls night.
When it's built into yourroutine, it doesn't feel like
another to do.
And if it's something that youreally want to stay focused on
and have, make it one of yournon negotiables.
We've talked about nonnegotiables before.
And having one of those as a nonnegotiable means that you will

(06:32):
make sure that you have the timefor that.
That everything else can wait ifyou really want to focus and
prioritize maintaining yourfriendships.
5.
I say this in almost everyepisode, but give yourself
grace.
Friendships are not perfect.

(06:54):
You are doing your best at beingpresent.
You won't always be availablefor your friends and that's
okay.
Alright?
The right people in your liveswill understand that love is not
measured in daily text.
It's the way you show up forthem when they need you to in
moments that really matter.

(07:15):
Alright?
So give yourself grace like youdo in everything else.
Like I always say, give yourselfgrace.
You are doing amazing.
Before we wrap up, I just wantto share one more thing and that
is don't forget about our sipand share segments We are
collecting stories from you ourlisteners whether you want to
put your name on it or not Youcan be totally anonymous in this

(07:40):
but you can submit a chaoticmoment, a piece of advice, a
funny story, or even a questionthat you have that you want
answered on the podcast.
And I will pick some of them andI will start weaving them into
our episodes.
So don't forget to get yourssubmitted.
The link is down in the shownotes.
All right, friends, if you'vebeen feeling like you're failing

(08:02):
at friendships because your lifeis insanely busy, just know
this, you're not a bad friend.
You're a human with a fullplate, and the friendships that
matter, they don't need constantattention.
They just need intention.
So this week, I challenge you tosend that text.
or that voice memo, schedulethat coffee date, or even just

(08:24):
say, Hey, I miss you becauseeven in chaos, connection
matters.
If this episode resonated withyou, take a screenshot, share it
on Instagram and tag me atcaffeinatedchaospodcasts.
And I love to see who is outthere listening to us.
And if you really, really likedthe episode, leave us a review.
It helps us be seen by so muchmore people, and until next

(08:48):
time, keep connecting, embracethe chaos and those close to
you.
I will see you all next time.
Bye now.