March 3, 2025 • 41 mins
In this episode of Caffeinated Chaos, I sit down with Brianna to talk about the reality of juggling parenthood, entrepreneurship, and everyday life. From the challenges of working from home with kids to setting up routines that actually work, we cover it all. Brianna shares practical advice on being intentional about creating a life that supports your goals, whether that’s structuring your day for success or finding small ways to amplify joy. We also dive into strategies for working with neurodiverse children and why meeting your child (or client) where they’re at is a game-changer.
What You’ll Learn:
- The importance of creating a life that aligns with your values and goals
- How to establish routines that set you and your family up for success
- The power of using small cues like "next" or "step one, step two" to help kids stay on track
- Why being intentional with your time and energy can reduce stress and overwhelm
- How parenthood and business both require adaptability and a willingness to pivot
Connect with Brianna:
- Instagram: briannagoslinmortgages
- Website: Www.briannagoslinmortgages.com
Listen now and let’s chat about your biggest takeaways over on Instagram! Tag me and share your favorite moment from the episode.
Cheers! Thank you for joining us for another episode. Have a chaotic moment, question, or topic you want us to cover? Drop us a message or leave a review! If you loved this episode, share it with a friend who thrives in beautiful chaos too.
Let’s Connect:
- Connect with us via email at ccpodcast@aguonstudios.com
- Follow us on Instagram: @caffeinatedchaospodcast or @aguonstudios
- Join our email list: Click Here to Become a VIP
- Sip and Share: Click here to submit
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
intro (00:00):
Welcome to Caffeinated Chaos, where business deals
happen between diaper changesand friendships are fueled by
caffeine.
I'm Whitney Uggen, your host,and I'm here to talk all things
business, parenthood, and ofcourse, keeping up with the
BFFs.
Whether you're juggling theboardroom, the playroom, or just
here for some coffee fueledchaos, we've got you covered.
(00:20):
Get ready for real talk, laughs,and a whole lot of heart as we
dive into the beautiful messthat is entrepreneurship,
parenthood, and everything inbetween.
So let's embrace the chaostogether.
Caffeinated, of course.
Welcome back, and on today'spodcast, we have an awesome
guest.
Her name is Brianna Gosling.
(00:42):
She is a mortgage broker and apodcast host in Canada.
After 10 years of teaching, shedove headfirst into
entrepreneurship, and she's themom of two little girls and a
wife to a goofball as she says.
So let's welcome Brianna to theshow.
So welcome to the podcast,Brianna.
Thank you for joining us.
(01:02):
Thank you for having me.
I'm stoked to be here.
Yeah, and you're joining us allthe way from Canada, right?
I am, yes.
It's in Muskoka, cottagecountry.
How's the weather up there rightnow?
Well, we've had five days of buscancellations, so I've been
driving my kids to schoolbecause I'm sick of having them
at home.
Um, due to freezing rain andsnow, so yeah, it's dicey up
(01:27):
here.
Wow, I mean, I can't complain.
I'm in California.
So it's like 73 degrees outsideYeah, so why don't you tell our
listeners a little bit about youand what you do up there
Absolutely.
So I am a mortgage agent here inCanada in the States.
(01:49):
I believe you call them loanofficers.
So I am self employed.
I, so I have my own business andmy husband also runs his own
business, from our home.
He's an accountant and I'm aformer teacher educator.
So yeah, I made the jump toworking for myself about three
years ago and I have two smallkids, five and seven and yeah,
(02:13):
that's it.
to me in a nutshell.
So can I ask, like, what gradesdid you teach?
I taught grades one to three.
I was actually a Frenchimmersion teacher.
So I taught in French, in thesecond language.
And yeah, once I had my ownchildren, I realized I like my
own children a little bit betterthan the 25 other children that
(02:35):
I didn't have the energyanymore.
So hence the switch tomortgages.
Yeah, I'm always super impressedwhen I, when I talk to teachers,
especially teachers of youngchildren, you know, like my
toddlers only three and I'm justlike, Oh, God, I could not
imagine having a room full oflike, three and four year olds,
and then they start becomingthat age where they make
(02:57):
friendships and it's likeclicky, I don't even want to
talk about high school.
That's just, whew.
Could you imagine high school,like?
No, I looked like a high schoolstudent when I was teaching, so
I very much could not go into ahigh school and then command any
sort of respect, so I was stuckwith the little kids.
That's fair, that's fair.
So how about we just jump rightinto your chaotic moment and now
(03:19):
that they've got a little, tasteof who you are, so what's going
on?
What's been chaotic in themoment?
Everything, always, all at once.
I figured that was the answer.
Honestly, this, uh, just gettingto this podcast was chaotic
today, so but like I said, bothmy husband and I are business
(03:41):
owners and the way our scheduleswork is we kind of just flow
with our kids and we divide andconquer.
So I'm a morning person.
I'm up at like 4am and I do alot of work then.
Before my kids wake up, myhusband's a night owl.
So he does all his work at nighttime.
And today actually he was takinga nap in our bedroom and I was
(04:03):
putting on some makeup to Get onthis podcast was telling him you
gotta get downstairs.
I have to be on the podcast in10 minutes and he like woke up
from a deep sleep and randownstairs and now I don't know
he's doing something else there,but that isn't even involving
our children, but everything inour house is kind of a flux and
(04:24):
it's chaos at all times and Itry to Call it harmony or will
it into being harmony, but yeah,it's chaos all the time.
So you are A mom of two, becauseI just want to make sure that
the listeners know how awesomesuper mom you are.
You're a mom of two, right?
It's you and your husband, bothas entrepreneurs.
You're, you have your ownbusiness and you're a podcast
(04:48):
host too, right?
Yes.
Oh my gosh.
Can you add anything else toyour plate?
Oh, I do a lot of communitywork, actually.
I'm a, Nordic skiing coach inthe winter and, yeah, I don't
like any downtime.
But I will say that my podcastis very closely linked to my
(05:08):
business.
It's called Let's Talk AboutMoney.
And I spend my whole day talkingabout money and I very well know
that they don't teach you any ofthat in school, having been a
teacher.
So it's really close.
Kind of an ad hoc to my businessand it's a great way to kind of
get people into my world.
And I can do it from mysweatpants, which is lovely, you
(05:28):
know, as I, I love that.
Yes.
Because podcaster, like, even ifyou're taking a video, it's one
of those things where likepeople do it all the time with
interviews where it's fancyabove the waist and then
sweatpants below, you know?
Cause that's totally me.
Just like, I love sweatpants.
I would wear sweatpants all dayif I could, you know, I have a
(05:50):
rule.
No hard pants unless I have to.
That's a good rule.
That's a good rule.
Like sweatpants.
We're good with that.
Yes.
Yes.
I still have kind of an excusewhere like, I just gave birth
like four months ago so I canwear my mom leggings all day
every day and no one can sayanything.
(06:11):
But yeah, also, wow, you havelike, I like how I was like,
anything else to your plate?
And you're just like, let mejust add in some desserts and
like an extra scoop of somethingelse.
I mean, you really are like,just looking at how much you do
are really kind of like supermom, super woman.
And then can I ask, what do yousee yourself as like, if you
(06:34):
were to say one thing was Like,the top of your personality,
what would be one thing that youwould describe yourself first
as?
Oh, wow, honestly, a connector.
I have a great nag for kind of,I'm an introvert that presents
as an extrovert, and I like togo deep and be like, tell me all
(06:57):
your trauma, whether it be myclients or my friends or people
that I'm meeting in thecommunity.
And I have this.
large network of people that I'mconnected to in my community.
So I end up connecting people,all the time.
And it's been great forbusiness, it's great for
podcasting, and it really bringsme joy.
So I think that's kind of partof my personality and my natural
(07:19):
talent.
That's what really brings mejoy.
Oh, nice.
I totally, when you were sayingthat, I totally thought of like,
You know how people are like,Oh, you're like six connections
or seven connections away fromknowing somebody else.
Right.
The like six degrees of, I thinkit was like six degrees of Kevin
Bacon or whatever, somethinglike that.
And I feel like everyone mustknow Brianna like, and then
(07:40):
you're the one who's like, Oh,did you know, you know, Tom and
Bill and Jim, you know, and Maryand cause they all know Brianna.
Yes.
It's very, that very, that,yeah.
That's so great.
And I, I love also.
I'm jumping around backseat.
You talking about finances.
I love the idea that this iswhat you do and this is also
(08:04):
what you podcast the idea oftalking about financials because
it's Been recently like a tabookind of topic where like people
don't want to discuss theirfinancial situations with
others.
And I've known people who haveeven been in a relationship
where I'm like, did you guystalk about this?
(08:24):
And they're like, no, I don'twant to bother them, you know?
And I'm like, but you're in arelationship And so I feel like
that's when you definitely needto start talking about finances,
but also being open with Maybeyour family, your friends, and
all that kind of thing, like,you don't have to be either
ashamed or embarrassed to talkabout what you make, and even if
(08:47):
someone is not necessarily justneeding help financially, but
even if you're doing goodfinancially, it's also okay to
do that in a way that's notbragging, like, you don't have
to feel like you're bragging toothers, you know, it could just
be an honest conversation,right?
Honestly, Whitney, that's thewhole premise of my podcast, is
(09:07):
that, one, we don't talk aboutany of this stuff in school,
two, there's so much shamearound money, whether you're
making it, or whether you needit, or whether you have crazy
debt, like, there's just so muchshame, and people come to me
wanting to apply for a mortgageto purchase a home, and they're
like, well, I should've donethis, and I should've done that,
(09:29):
and I say, stop, you're shootingall over yourself.
You don't need to do that.
Take away the shame.
And from having been an educatorduring COVID, I was actually
like, it was really intimate.
Like I was in, I was teachingsix year, six year olds, but I
was really in their living roomand I was with their family and
(09:49):
I was seeing.
Some things I probably shouldn'thave seen, but that's also
carried on into my life as amortgage agent or loan officer
because I have to ask everybodykind of to unpack their
financial baggage and that's ahard thing to do.
You kind of have to create asafe space for that.
So whether it's, yeah, in my jobor, podcasting, it, I just
(10:12):
really want to create a spacewhere people can have those
conversations and just kind oflike.
let their shoulders down, justsay things truthfully in a way
that there's no judgment comingback at them because especially
as women it's so difficult toenter those spaces whether they
be virtual or brick and mortarand actually have a voice.
(10:33):
When it comes to finances andwhat you bring up with couples
too, is I see so many coupleswho have financial secrets and
that runs deep and it's oftenjust a symptom.
The finances are a symptom ofsomething else going on
emotionally, right?
And I think now it's 2024, we'reheaded into 2025, like we're
ready to be having thoseconversations out loud.
(10:55):
So that, yeah, I'm reallypassionate about that.
I love that.
Like I, so I really love thatidea too.
And then also my background is,in the mental health field for
like double digits for like 10years.
And I recently got out of that.
And although I didn't like dodirect therapy, I worked with
(11:17):
adults with developmentaldisabilities and a lot of things
that come up is who handles thefinancials.
And so like, you know, mostpeople are, have access to their
financials where others are,have a caregiver or somebody,
dedicated to doing that.
(11:37):
And I think that like, even ifyou are part of a family or
anything like that, like havingthose Options and those not
sorry, not options, but likethose talks are really
important.
And I think that like growing upto if you're a caregiver for
somebody, whether it's a child,a grandparent, a sibling, that
(11:59):
you should also still be havingthose conversations.
Like my daughter's only threeand Even though she doesn't
fully get the concept of howmuch money is, like a 5 bill is
equal to a 1 bill, you know, inher mind, it's just a dollar.
Everything's a dollar.
But going and having those like,like, oh, you need a dollar
(12:21):
buck, you know, is what Blueycalls them, you know, dollar
bucks.
And she goes, I need a dollarbuck to buy this.
And I'm like, yes, you do.
And then, And so we have hercount dollars and then she'll go
to the dollars and she'll, Imean, it's also a way that we
have her work on numbers, butshe'll go to like target or the
dollar tree.
And I'm like, okay, you have 5bucks.
(12:41):
Like now we have to find thenumber five and see if, you
know, you can find a number one,two, three, four, or five.
And then you can have thatthing, you know, you can buy
that thing.
And she loves putting the littledollars into like the target
self machine, you know, selfcheckout machine.
But I feel like a lot of peopletoo is just like, I know that
when I grew up, it was like, Idid chores and I got money.
(13:05):
That's how, like, that's how myparents structured it.
Right.
But before then, and even afterthey were giving money, they're
like, Oh, here's a couple bucks.
And then I'm like, I'm going togo to the store.
No one really was like, Hey, ifyou want to buy that big thing,
don't wait for Christmas andSanta, like you can save your
money and buy that big thing foryourself.
(13:25):
And so like, when I felt like Igot a job, I was just like, Oh
my God, I make huge dollar bucksnow, you know?
And then I would spend it all.
And then having that like, Oh, Ihave all this stuff now, but not
saving for the big stuff too.
And then I felt like bad when Iwasn't getting the big stuff
when I thought I needed it.
Like, like you were saying,like, people were like, I should
(13:47):
have saved for a house or Ishould have saved for this car.
And then now I'm like, Oh man,how much like.
Sweaters and bags that I buythat could have equaled a car
and, you know, and then feelinglike I didn't do enough or save
enough.
I can totally see how peoplefeel that kind of shame and
then.
But it felt good in the moment.
(14:08):
Does that make sense?
You know?
Oh, yeah.
I talk all the time, especiallywith my younger clients who are
first time homebuyers, aboutdelayed gratification because
that's, I mean, you're likelyclose in age to me, but Kids who
are growing up right now, theydon't experience that, that
delayed gratification.
And it's great what you weresaying with your daughter that
(14:29):
she has to match the amount ofmoney with the object.
So it kind of gives it value,like it gives that money weight
because otherwise it's just apiece of paper, right?
Right.
And on the podcast, I talk somuch about money stories and
like what our money stories are,whether our parents, our parents
all have the best of intentions,right?
They did the best they couldwith what they had.
(14:49):
Right.
But Or, and it's left a lot ofus with money trauma, and I
think it's important toacknowledge that, and I just
read, a really great book, it'scalled Everything But Money, by
a Canadian author up here, and,it really highlights the fact
that Your money problems areabout everything but money.
(15:11):
Oftentimes it can begenerational trauma, it can be
the way you were raised, it canbe the conversations around
money, or whether you're theproduct of a divorce, or all of
these things impact our spendingand our attitudes towards money.
Just in the way that yourrelationship with your husband
has been impacted by all thebaggage that you're carrying
(15:32):
from previous relationships fromyour upbringing, right?
different.
And it's actually something thatI would say people in our
society right now put a biggervalue on money than they do on
healthy relationships and beinga great mom and all these things
that you can't attach a pricetag to.
(15:53):
So I think it's important to begentle with yourself when you're
thinking, when you're shittingyourself to death and saying I
should have done this, I shouldhave done that.
While also having someaccountability for the behavior
and next steps forward.
So I also talk a lot about onthe podcast about how you should
be employing these professionalswho actually can give a job to
(16:14):
your money or can help you paydown your debt or help you reach
all those goals because there'speople who are Really excited to
meet you and work with you.
But often times that shame keepspeople from walking to the
office or booking an onlineappointment.
Because people, you don't knowwhat you don't know.
Right?
Right.
And then that's all kind ofcovered up with these feelings
(16:35):
of vulnerability that peopledon't like to feel.
Yeah, yeah, I can definitely seehow, like, if I was like, to
imagine the situation where I'msomebody who needs financial
help and it's something thatmaybe they haven't talked about,
you know, at all, just to belike, okay, today I'm going to
(16:55):
get up and I'm going to gosomewhere that I'm going to talk
to somebody, like, you know, andthen, In my head, we talk about
like all this like shoulds andthen trying to like Seem like
you've got it together, but it'sokay that you if you don't like,
you know, you don't have to Findthe perfect outfit like that
can't Don't let that be anexcuse on why you don't get up
(17:18):
and just go, you know, you don'thave to look a certain way.
And move away from comparison,because the Joneses, if you're
keeping up with the Joneses,they're dead.
It's 2024.
Everybody has debt.
They're like drowning in it.
So move away from comparisontowards alignment.
And if you have an idea, even ifyour life is nowhere.
(17:38):
Near what you want it to be ifyou have an idea of the goals
that you want to achieve Thenyou can take steps towards that
but you have to get rid of thecomparison That is really the
bane of my existence such a petpeeve when people are looking at
their neighbors and thinkingthey should be doing The same
things like they don't have youryour backpack of memories and
they don't have your goals.
(17:59):
So forget it doesn't matterExactly.
And, and also listeners, itdoesn't matter where you are in
your journey.
If you're a young professional,if you're in college, if you're
in your retirement stage, likeevery walks of life should, you
know.
This is something that you cantake stuff away from, and
(18:20):
lessons away from.
So I like that.
And, you know, and for like usmoms and parents out there,
like, it's not too early to,introduce your kid to money and
having those conversations sothat they learn, as well.
Even like I said, with mydaughter, it's more about her
learning her numbers.
(18:41):
These five pieces of paper equalthis bluey toy that she really
likes, you know?
So it's that kind of lessons,although she may never remember
taking five dollars to go buythe bluey toy.
When she grows up, it'ssomething that can start like
forming this relationship withmoney and she's learning
regardless, right?
(19:01):
Like whether you're intentionalabout it or not, she's learning
from your behavior.
So if you are intentional andyou're giving her that good.
financial knowledge or financialliteracy, then you're really
doing her a service rather thana disservice of hiding behind
whatever money stuff you'regoing through.
Let me know your thoughts onthis, but I also try when I'm
(19:24):
intentionally shopping with mydaughter.
So like, if we're just going tothe grocery store, I'm like, I'm
buying a bunch of groceries andshe's not really paying
attention, you know, then I'mlike, swipe with my card.
But if it's something where I'mgoing and I'm like, gonna let
her pick something out, And lether have the practice of paying
for it.
I like to use paper money infront of her.
(19:44):
And then that way she doesn't,in my opinion, in my brain, it
says, Whitney, this is teachingyour daughter not to just swipe
and go, swipe and go, you know,because I feel like that's how
people get into debt reallyfast.
You're telling me that you'recorrect in that.
And I think that both are good.
(20:05):
It's obviously important thatkids understand what cash is.
But then I look ahead where Itry to vision, envision what
Things are going to be like 10years from now, 15 years from
now.
That's true.
And cash may become obsolete,right?
Like we, we don't know what'sgoing to happen.
So I think introducing your kidsat the right developmental age
(20:27):
to that piece of plastic andlike, hey, this has a value too.
And this is actually linked to abank account and then opening up
a bank account when they're.
8, 9, 10, so that they can seewhat it's like or giving them a
prepaid visa so they can see thedeclining balance on it and see
what the ramifications are ontheir own finances, I think is
(20:48):
also a great idea.
That's a good idea.
Yeah, I might pick that up whenshe understands.
Numbers more like she really inthe visual numbers.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
She always tells me she goes,it, she goes, it's, it's 0 7 2 3
o'clock.
And I'm like, what?
(21:09):
And she like looks up thedigital clock and she goes, it's
0 7 2 3.
And I go.
Yeah, 723.
Good job.
Yeah, girl, close enough.
She got the numbers right.
And it's so interesting becauseI didn't ask her what time it
was, but then she's alsolearning that like, that's a
clock and it's a clock a time,you know?
(21:31):
So everything's just whateverthe number is, a clock.
Yeah.
And I was having this, to getaway from financials, I was
having this moment with her.
Where, everyone started puttingup their Christmas decorations
in, like right afterThanksgiving.
And listeners, at the time ofthis, we're recording this on
December 11th.
So it's been 11 days, so quoteunquote, Since Christmas has
(21:54):
started, apparently, becauseeveryone starts counting it on
the first, she has walkedoutside and seen our neighbors,
decorations and every time shegoes outside, she screams like
super loud.
It's the first day of Christmas.
And I'm like.
I'm like, well, if our neighborsweren't awake now, it's like
(22:15):
having like a rooster comeoutside and just keep announcing
that every day for the last 11days, plus, you know, those days
between Thanksgiving and thefirst that every day is the
first day of Christmas.
And so it's fun watching herkind of try to learn the Like
what time is and that days havepassed, but like she learns
(22:39):
these phrases and then she justthinks that just means that all
of December is Christmas.
Like her interpretation, right?
Yeah, and it's so interesting tosee like a three year old mind,
right?
Cause I, you know, you werearound little kids cause you
were a teacher, but my child isthe first in our friend group
where like, everyone just islike, Oh, what's she doing
(23:02):
today?
And I'm like, she's learning.
It's the first day of Christmasor like, you know, and she'll.
She comes in, and she's learninghow to interact with people.
I don't know if your kids didthis, but like, my daughter,
she'll like, somebody will belike, oh, like, nice dress, or
she's checking out, and she'slike, oh, you're such a big girl
(23:22):
paying for your own stuff,right?
And she goes, I'm not a biggirl.
I'm a Kayla.
I was like, yes, you are.
And then she starts tellingeveryone your business.
That's mommy.
That's daddy.
I'm buying this.
I have 5 like, and then they'rejust like, she's so like
talkative.
And I go, yep.
(23:42):
Now you can't get her to stop.
She's going to talk to you forthe next 10 minutes.
Have fun.
You know?
Oh man.
My kids did that too.
And it's so funny because.
The younger they are, the more,and not in a bad way, the more
self centered they are, liketheir world is here and they
can't imagine anything outsideof their own experience, right?
(24:03):
And I saw this when I wasteaching too.
Now my eldest is seven, so she'sKind of getting out of that.
She's understanding that otherpeople have different
experiences, but my five yearold is still very much
entrenched in that likeIndividualistic it is my world
and only my world exists andit's so funny because they'll
(24:24):
tell ya their interpretation ofthings is, it's here, it's right
here.
And if you're listening, andyou're not looking at the video,
I, my hands are right in frontof my face because that is as
far as your child cognitivelysees, when they're under the age
of five.
And it's so funny to me cause Ihave to remind myself and you'll
go through it too.
Having two kids is when they'reat different developmental
(24:47):
stages.
You have to speak to themdifferently and they have a
completely different experienceof what's going on in the house
or on a day trip or whatever isgoing on.
It's so funny.
It's hilarious.
Yeah, I am so ready like Notthat I'm ready to, like, kick my
kids out, but Mikayla is soready to go to school, like, she
(25:11):
asks all the time.
She goes, when can I see myteacher?
Like, you know, and, and it'sone of those things where she's
allotted screen time, and so shegets to pick between our family
watches, Miss Rachel or Mika, orMiss Katie's classroom.
And she recently has beengetting really into Katie's
classroom.
And so she's like, oh, missKatie's my teacher.
(25:34):
And I was like, well, yeah, it'sKatie's classroom.
And so then she's like, when canI go to my classroom?
Like I wanna go to school.
And she'll like put on a littlebackpack and she'll stuff it
full of like her stuffies.
And she's like, they're allcoming with me to school.
And I was like, all right, it'sgonna be heavy.
And then.
You know, and then she realizesthat it's way too heavy and
(25:54):
she'll just bring one stuffy andbut she'll pack a backpack.
And I'm like, this little girlis ready to just leave us.
Like she's off, she's ready togo.
And it's so interesting to seetoo, because that like, in my
head, like I still have, youknow, our recent experience,
(26:14):
well, you you're a teacher.
So your recent experience is youteaching, but my recent
experience with school is likebeing like, okay.
Senioritis dragging my feet.
Like I don't like, and thenhere, here's my three year old
like.
She's not even enrolled inschool yet, and she's like
packing a bag.
She's bringing all her friends.
She's got she's on the other endof the spectrum Yeah, she hasn't
(26:36):
been jaded yet from the systemAnd so It's like really nice to
see but like I also feel likeyou've kind of touched on this
where you're like It's a harmonyand not so much of a balance
right when it comes to stuff Solike when right now my kids are
(26:56):
full time at home, right?
They're three and four monthsAnd when she goes off to school
and how excited she is fromschool, I have like, I feel like
she is going to be super easy tojust fly out the door and go to
school.
But also that means that mywhole morning routine is going
to change.
It's not just wake up, care forthe four month old when she
wakes up, and then when thetoddler eventually rolls out of
(27:19):
bed, you know, get her fed andall that.
Then it's gonna be like, okay,this time wake up, plus now I
have to wake the baby, geteveryone in the car, I mean,
luckily I don't have to gothrough snow like you.
But, yeah, that whole, thatwhole thing is gonna be kind of
a new, experience for me, solike, How did you deal with it?
(27:42):
Like with realizing that it'snot going to be so much of a
balance, but I, you say harmony.
I like using the word flow.
Like it's a, like, sometimesyou'll have more time to flow
into your business, more time toflow with your family.
How did you give me like,honestly, I don't know if I'm
the person to take advice.
It's like I said, it's chaos allday, every day, but it's our
(28:04):
chaos that we've created.
Right.
So when my kids were reallylittle, it was COVID was
happening and I would.
It's teaching from home.
So I had, and I also had two ofmy sisters, I have a twin sister
and an older sister, and theyhad both moved in with me
because of different lifecircumstances.
And so I had four adults and twosmall children and my youngest
(28:31):
was actually sleeping in my walkin closet upstairs.
And it was just wild.
It was crazy.
Like we were all the adults wereworking and we were kind of like
sharing childcare and trying tojust get through the day.
And then by the end of the day,I was exhausted.
And my husband and I said, okay,we need to make a change because
this is not working between uspassing off the kids and trying
(28:54):
to somehow make money just wasnot working.
So.
We were really intentional aboutcreating the kind of life we
wanted.
We moved.
Balance.
Hello.
So listeners, you can't see heryet, but, if my daughter, my
toddler literally must have hadher ears ringing cause she
(29:16):
walked in and now she is, Ithink she's going to start
interviewing Brianna.
Sounds good.
So yeah, we moved, we moved upnorth, we moved two hours away,
I quit my job, I started my ownbusiness, and then we had one
kid in daycare and one kid atschool, and it's continued to
(29:38):
change and grow, all of ourroutines, but as I get older, I
realize that things will alwayschange, and you have to find the
good, and then just kind ofmitigate the bad.
In every situation, and like ifat the beginning of this year,
getting to school was a bigissue and that was like this
(29:59):
real, really big to do everymorning, getting the hair done,
getting the clothes on.
Now it's not.
But now coming home after schoolsnacks a big deal and that's a
battle and this and that andit's always going to change I'm
always going to have a hard partin my day and it's just kind of
rolling with whatever that'sgonna be But then on the back
(30:21):
end and the conversations that Ihave with my husband For your
partner, whoever you'reparenting with, it's kind of
about being, in my mind, beingintentional about setting
yourself up for success,acknowledging that you're going
to have these bad days that aregoing to be tough, but also just
having as much success aspossible and really amplifying
(30:43):
those moments of joy.
So for us, for my husband and I,It's joyful to spend time
together and this is why we areboth self employed and work from
home so that we can have likethe odd lunch date or even just
a child free conversation.
Like that amplifies the joy inmy life.
Whereas driving, commutingthrough the snow to a workplace
(31:04):
would not.
So those are things that arewithin my control that I can
make sure are amplified but, AsI say that things still blow up.
It's parenthood, right?
It's parenthood.
It's entrepreneurship.
It's, it's all of that.
But, yeah, I think trying to beintentional about setting
yourself up for success andamplifying the joy is my advice.
(31:26):
I totally agree with you becausehaving kids is such a whole
nother level like I feel likenobody who like babysits or
watches some other, someoneelse's kids quite can understand
what it's like to have your own,and then having a packed house
like you had, you know, whereeverybody was also staying home
during that time.
(31:47):
Like you, you had four adults,two kids, but then you also had
like virtually 25 kids with you,but it's not the same as if
somebody will come over andlike, Oh, let me take your, you
know, your daughter out todinner.
And I'm like, cool.
Go with auntie go with uncle.
And then they're like, Oh, shewas perfect.
She was like, so well behaved.
(32:07):
And I'm like, yeah.
Because you took her out andthen you went to Target.
Those are like her favoriteplaces, you know.
Does sometimes burn you?
Like that makes me so madsometimes when you're like
complaining about how stressfulyour household is and they're
like, well, they were fine withme, it's like.
Novelty, of course! You'regiving them candy! Like, you
(32:29):
wouldn't have to also do all thehousehold maintenance and all
this stuff.
You could be fun and.
Yeah, that gets me sometimes.
There was, there was like thisInstagram Meme or something
where it was like, Oh, you wantto come help out, come at 4am
and then tell me if you stillwant to help out like, you know,
(32:49):
part, yes.
So we've talked a lot of likefinancials and family and all
that.
What do you, what would youadvise to be kind of like an
actionable step for anyonelistening, whether they connect
with financials or with likeparenthood harmony?
What would you suggest to themwould be like a good, First
step, because I know that sinceyou were a teacher, you probably
(33:11):
have a lot of like kid tricks,way probably more than me.
I haven't quite gotten to, youknow, the four or five year old
stage yet.
So to calm the chaos, I don'tknow, I haven't found the
secret, magic pill yet, but twothings, two things actually I
(33:31):
would mention is kind of, firstof all, you need to get quiet
and really see what your goalsare for your family or for your
business or for whatever it isyou're working on, because if
you don't know where you want togo, you're Just kind of treading
water, and if you're havingthese feelings of stress and
(33:53):
overwhelm that comes withmotherhood, then you're gonna
stay there.
Unless you know where to pivot,you're gonna stay there.
So first of all, I alwayssuggest meditation.
I think it's a great practice assomebody who suffers from
anxiety.
It's a really great way to startmy day.
Ten minutes.
And at first I was only able todo like a minute and a half, but
(34:15):
it's a muscle that you train andyou work up to it, right?
So I would suggest that foranybody, meditation or breath
work to just kind of centeryourself.
And if you can do it before yourkids wake up, that's like gold.
That is my favorite thing,favorite way to set myself up.
For success in the day.
So, that's the one piece ofadvice I would give you.
(34:37):
The second is to be intentional.
So, to plan.
I always look at my day inblocks.
And specifically when mychildren are going to be around.
And what can I do right now toset myself up for success at
that time?
So I know, I stop my workdaybecause I have the luxury of
(34:57):
doing that.
Half an hour early, I make surethere's a snack on the table,
and I make sure that pencils aresharpened for homework, and
things are just kind of laidout.
Because, and, it gets easierbecause once my kids get used to
that routine, they start to doit themselves.
So they start to get Get theirthings and it takes time and it
(35:19):
always takes longer than you'regoing to think to kind of
procure a routine for your kids,but I'm a huge fan of routines
and that's something that theycan fall back onto when they've
had a hard day, right?
They still know what the nextstep is just like you as mom or
dad knows what.
where you need to go becauseyou've been intentional in
thinking about what your goalsare.
(35:40):
They might not have goals, butthey know what their routines
are.
So that's going to be theirsafeguard.
So those are two things that weuse in our house to kind of make
things a little easier onourselves.
And like I said, nobody'sperfect, but that's how we get
through it.
Nice.
So I'll give you one more tip,if you're not able to get your
kid into a routine, then, just asmall cue for Next.
(36:02):
So I have one kid who's notneurotypical ADHD and you have
to break things into reallysmall chunks.
So if I said, take off yourshoes and go to the washroom and
wash your hands, none of itwould get done.
She'd be spinning in anotherroom.
Do that.
So with her, we just say next.
So next is take off your shoes.
(36:24):
Mm-hmm And it does take moreparent direction.
Next is wash your hands.
Next is, but it gives her thatanchor to think, okay, this is
where I'm going.
'cause she can be super focusedwhen she knows what the heck she
needs to focus on.
Right.
But if it's too much, she justdoes whatever she wants to do.
Right.
And I think that's somethingthat, especially for little,
little, little kids is reallyimportant.
(36:46):
Just simple and clearinstructions.
Yeah.
And I think that's reallyimportant for parents to know
too, is that.
Sometimes, the way that you'reapproaching something might not
be working for, for you and foryour child.
And then figuring out what thatkey word is.
So in your child's case, it'snext, whereas in my child, it's
(37:06):
step one, step two.
And meeting your kid wherethey're at and what they're,
where they're understandingstuff.
Will help one you to not befrustrated because they're not
picking up what you want them tolearn in the way that you want
them to learn it.
But if you meet your kid wherethey're at, and this, we always
talk about this in business too,or you meet your client where
(37:27):
they're at, and that's how youcan make the bigger connection.
Then it's going to be lessstressful as you start teaching
them this routine.
Or in anything in whateverthey're learning.
You're sounding like a teacherthere meeting them where they're
at.
That's, that's brilliant.
I love that.
It's the mental health side.
I did behavioral management for10 years.
(37:50):
And so, a lot of the work that Idid was helping clients, get
through, we call it the noise intheir head sometimes, to help
them focus and, help them withjob skills and, and life skills.
And so a lot of that stuff islike figuring out a way in which
they'll understand, to meettheir goals that they want to
(38:12):
achieve in life.
But it's so weird because likeyou say that but I'm like, I
could never see myself as ateacher, like, I never say
never, maybe it's because like Ican't see myself as a teacher to
small kids, I'm totally down fora bake sale like I would do but
I could not be like the teacherin the room.
(38:33):
I will gladly support.
You want to take my kid?
Here's a basket.
Thank you.
Have fun.
What do you need?
I will bring you what you need.
If you teach my child, I'm thatmom to know, well, you've been
there, you know, you've been onthe other side.
Awesome.
Awesome.
Well, Okay, so how can peopleget a hold of you?
(38:56):
How can they reach out andconnect and all your podcast
stuff?
As well.
Yeah, absolutely.
So I am, I live on Instagram, metoo, Brianna Goslin mortgages,
and my website is brianna goslinmortgages.com.
But if you're interested in mypodcast, it's called Let's Talk
About Money, and it's availableon Spotify, apple all podcast,
(39:20):
uh, platforms.
So you can go ahead and pleasesubscribe, rate, and review.
We love that.
That helps us with the algorithmand, yeah.
I'd be happy to send me a DM ifyou heard me and I'd love to
chat.
Awesome.
Yeah.
And we're going to put all ofBrianna's information in the
show notes.
So if you're out and you'relistening to podcasts in your
(39:41):
car, like I do, you can comeback, check out the show notes
and grab all those links too.
Because brilliant.
Do you listen to podcasts inyour car?
I'm a big driver.
All the time.
I'm always listening topodcasts.
I don't like the quiet.
Yeah, me too.
Um, perfect.
Well, thank you for joining ustoday.
(40:03):
And I've, I learned a lot.
And I feel like we were able totouch on subjects that have yet
to be touched on this podcast.
And I really hope that this kindof inspires people to kind of
talk about their financials.
And, you know, even if it's justsomeone listens to this and
(40:23):
says, Hey partner, can we sitdown?
Let's just talk about this.
Thank you, Whitney.
I so enjoyed this.
I appreciate you.
Yeah.
Thank you for coming again.
And I'm sure that we will talkvery soon.
And I would love to have youback on the podcast anytime.
Thank you.
Thank you for joining us onCaffe Chaos.
(40:45):
If you've enjoyed this episode,I would really appreciate if you
would leave us a review and itreally helps us get out there to
more people.
Thank you again to our guest,Brianna Goslin, and I will see
you all next time.
Welcome to Caffeinated Chaos, where business deals
happen between diaper changesand friendships are fueled by
caffeine.
I'm Whitney Uggen, your host,and I'm here to talk all things
business, parenthood, and ofcourse, keeping up with the
BFFs.
Whether you're juggling theboardroom, the playroom, or just
here for some coffee fueledchaos, we've got you covered.
(00:20):
Get ready for real talk, laughs,and a whole lot of heart as we
dive into the beautiful messthat is entrepreneurship,
parenthood, and everything inbetween.
So let's embrace the chaostogether.
Caffeinated, of course.
Welcome back, and on today'spodcast, we have an awesome
guest.
Her name is Brianna Gosling.
(00:42):
She is a mortgage broker and apodcast host in Canada.
After 10 years of teaching, shedove headfirst into
entrepreneurship, and she's themom of two little girls and a
wife to a goofball as she says.
So let's welcome Brianna to theshow.
So welcome to the podcast,Brianna.
Thank you for joining us.
(01:02):
Thank you for having me.
I'm stoked to be here.
Yeah, and you're joining us allthe way from Canada, right?
I am, yes.
It's in Muskoka, cottagecountry.
How's the weather up there rightnow?
Well, we've had five days of buscancellations, so I've been
driving my kids to schoolbecause I'm sick of having them
at home.
Um, due to freezing rain andsnow, so yeah, it's dicey up
(01:27):
here.
Wow, I mean, I can't complain.
I'm in California.
So it's like 73 degrees outsideYeah, so why don't you tell our
listeners a little bit about youand what you do up there
Absolutely.
So I am a mortgage agent here inCanada in the States.
(01:49):
I believe you call them loanofficers.
So I am self employed.
I, so I have my own business andmy husband also runs his own
business, from our home.
He's an accountant and I'm aformer teacher educator.
So yeah, I made the jump toworking for myself about three
years ago and I have two smallkids, five and seven and yeah,
(02:13):
that's it.
to me in a nutshell.
So can I ask, like, what gradesdid you teach?
I taught grades one to three.
I was actually a Frenchimmersion teacher.
So I taught in French, in thesecond language.
And yeah, once I had my ownchildren, I realized I like my
own children a little bit betterthan the 25 other children that
(02:35):
I didn't have the energyanymore.
So hence the switch tomortgages.
Yeah, I'm always super impressedwhen I, when I talk to teachers,
especially teachers of youngchildren, you know, like my
toddlers only three and I'm justlike, Oh, God, I could not
imagine having a room full oflike, three and four year olds,
and then they start becomingthat age where they make
(02:57):
friendships and it's likeclicky, I don't even want to
talk about high school.
That's just, whew.
Could you imagine high school,like?
No, I looked like a high schoolstudent when I was teaching, so
I very much could not go into ahigh school and then command any
sort of respect, so I was stuckwith the little kids.
That's fair, that's fair.
So how about we just jump rightinto your chaotic moment and now
(03:19):
that they've got a little, tasteof who you are, so what's going
on?
What's been chaotic in themoment?
Everything, always, all at once.
I figured that was the answer.
Honestly, this, uh, just gettingto this podcast was chaotic
today, so but like I said, bothmy husband and I are business
(03:41):
owners and the way our scheduleswork is we kind of just flow
with our kids and we divide andconquer.
So I'm a morning person.
I'm up at like 4am and I do alot of work then.
Before my kids wake up, myhusband's a night owl.
So he does all his work at nighttime.
And today actually he was takinga nap in our bedroom and I was
(04:03):
putting on some makeup to Get onthis podcast was telling him you
gotta get downstairs.
I have to be on the podcast in10 minutes and he like woke up
from a deep sleep and randownstairs and now I don't know
he's doing something else there,but that isn't even involving
our children, but everything inour house is kind of a flux and
(04:24):
it's chaos at all times and Itry to Call it harmony or will
it into being harmony, but yeah,it's chaos all the time.
So you are A mom of two, becauseI just want to make sure that
the listeners know how awesomesuper mom you are.
You're a mom of two, right?
It's you and your husband, bothas entrepreneurs.
You're, you have your ownbusiness and you're a podcast
(04:48):
host too, right?
Yes.
Oh my gosh.
Can you add anything else toyour plate?
Oh, I do a lot of communitywork, actually.
I'm a, Nordic skiing coach inthe winter and, yeah, I don't
like any downtime.
But I will say that my podcastis very closely linked to my
(05:08):
business.
It's called Let's Talk AboutMoney.
And I spend my whole day talkingabout money and I very well know
that they don't teach you any ofthat in school, having been a
teacher.
So it's really close.
Kind of an ad hoc to my businessand it's a great way to kind of
get people into my world.
And I can do it from mysweatpants, which is lovely, you
(05:28):
know, as I, I love that.
Yes.
Because podcaster, like, even ifyou're taking a video, it's one
of those things where likepeople do it all the time with
interviews where it's fancyabove the waist and then
sweatpants below, you know?
Cause that's totally me.
Just like, I love sweatpants.
I would wear sweatpants all dayif I could, you know, I have a
(05:50):
rule.
No hard pants unless I have to.
That's a good rule.
That's a good rule.
Like sweatpants.
We're good with that.
Yes.
Yes.
I still have kind of an excusewhere like, I just gave birth
like four months ago so I canwear my mom leggings all day
every day and no one can sayanything.
(06:11):
But yeah, also, wow, you havelike, I like how I was like,
anything else to your plate?
And you're just like, let mejust add in some desserts and
like an extra scoop of somethingelse.
I mean, you really are like,just looking at how much you do
are really kind of like supermom, super woman.
And then can I ask, what do yousee yourself as like, if you
(06:34):
were to say one thing was Like,the top of your personality,
what would be one thing that youwould describe yourself first
as?
Oh, wow, honestly, a connector.
I have a great nag for kind of,I'm an introvert that presents
as an extrovert, and I like togo deep and be like, tell me all
(06:57):
your trauma, whether it be myclients or my friends or people
that I'm meeting in thecommunity.
And I have this.
large network of people that I'mconnected to in my community.
So I end up connecting people,all the time.
And it's been great forbusiness, it's great for
podcasting, and it really bringsme joy.
So I think that's kind of partof my personality and my natural
(07:19):
talent.
That's what really brings mejoy.
Oh, nice.
I totally, when you were sayingthat, I totally thought of like,
You know how people are like,Oh, you're like six connections
or seven connections away fromknowing somebody else.
Right.
The like six degrees of, I thinkit was like six degrees of Kevin
Bacon or whatever, somethinglike that.
And I feel like everyone mustknow Brianna like, and then
(07:40):
you're the one who's like, Oh,did you know, you know, Tom and
Bill and Jim, you know, and Maryand cause they all know Brianna.
Yes.
It's very, that very, that,yeah.
That's so great.
And I, I love also.
I'm jumping around backseat.
You talking about finances.
I love the idea that this iswhat you do and this is also
(08:04):
what you podcast the idea oftalking about financials because
it's Been recently like a tabookind of topic where like people
don't want to discuss theirfinancial situations with
others.
And I've known people who haveeven been in a relationship
where I'm like, did you guystalk about this?
(08:24):
And they're like, no, I don'twant to bother them, you know?
And I'm like, but you're in arelationship And so I feel like
that's when you definitely needto start talking about finances,
but also being open with Maybeyour family, your friends, and
all that kind of thing, like,you don't have to be either
ashamed or embarrassed to talkabout what you make, and even if
(08:47):
someone is not necessarily justneeding help financially, but
even if you're doing goodfinancially, it's also okay to
do that in a way that's notbragging, like, you don't have
to feel like you're bragging toothers, you know, it could just
be an honest conversation,right?
Honestly, Whitney, that's thewhole premise of my podcast, is
(09:07):
that, one, we don't talk aboutany of this stuff in school,
two, there's so much shamearound money, whether you're
making it, or whether you needit, or whether you have crazy
debt, like, there's just so muchshame, and people come to me
wanting to apply for a mortgageto purchase a home, and they're
like, well, I should've donethis, and I should've done that,
(09:29):
and I say, stop, you're shootingall over yourself.
You don't need to do that.
Take away the shame.
And from having been an educatorduring COVID, I was actually
like, it was really intimate.
Like I was in, I was teachingsix year, six year olds, but I
was really in their living roomand I was with their family and
(09:49):
I was seeing.
Some things I probably shouldn'thave seen, but that's also
carried on into my life as amortgage agent or loan officer
because I have to ask everybodykind of to unpack their
financial baggage and that's ahard thing to do.
You kind of have to create asafe space for that.
So whether it's, yeah, in my jobor, podcasting, it, I just
(10:12):
really want to create a spacewhere people can have those
conversations and just kind oflike.
let their shoulders down, justsay things truthfully in a way
that there's no judgment comingback at them because especially
as women it's so difficult toenter those spaces whether they
be virtual or brick and mortarand actually have a voice.
(10:33):
When it comes to finances andwhat you bring up with couples
too, is I see so many coupleswho have financial secrets and
that runs deep and it's oftenjust a symptom.
The finances are a symptom ofsomething else going on
emotionally, right?
And I think now it's 2024, we'reheaded into 2025, like we're
ready to be having thoseconversations out loud.
(10:55):
So that, yeah, I'm reallypassionate about that.
I love that.
Like I, so I really love thatidea too.
And then also my background is,in the mental health field for
like double digits for like 10years.
And I recently got out of that.
And although I didn't like dodirect therapy, I worked with
(11:17):
adults with developmentaldisabilities and a lot of things
that come up is who handles thefinancials.
And so like, you know, mostpeople are, have access to their
financials where others are,have a caregiver or somebody,
dedicated to doing that.
(11:37):
And I think that like, even ifyou are part of a family or
anything like that, like havingthose Options and those not
sorry, not options, but likethose talks are really
important.
And I think that like growing upto if you're a caregiver for
somebody, whether it's a child,a grandparent, a sibling, that
(11:59):
you should also still be havingthose conversations.
Like my daughter's only threeand Even though she doesn't
fully get the concept of howmuch money is, like a 5 bill is
equal to a 1 bill, you know, inher mind, it's just a dollar.
Everything's a dollar.
But going and having those like,like, oh, you need a dollar
(12:21):
buck, you know, is what Blueycalls them, you know, dollar
bucks.
And she goes, I need a dollarbuck to buy this.
And I'm like, yes, you do.
And then, And so we have hercount dollars and then she'll go
to the dollars and she'll, Imean, it's also a way that we
have her work on numbers, butshe'll go to like target or the
dollar tree.
And I'm like, okay, you have 5bucks.
(12:41):
Like now we have to find thenumber five and see if, you
know, you can find a number one,two, three, four, or five.
And then you can have thatthing, you know, you can buy
that thing.
And she loves putting the littledollars into like the target
self machine, you know, selfcheckout machine.
But I feel like a lot of peopletoo is just like, I know that
when I grew up, it was like, Idid chores and I got money.
(13:05):
That's how, like, that's how myparents structured it.
Right.
But before then, and even afterthey were giving money, they're
like, Oh, here's a couple bucks.
And then I'm like, I'm going togo to the store.
No one really was like, Hey, ifyou want to buy that big thing,
don't wait for Christmas andSanta, like you can save your
money and buy that big thing foryourself.
(13:25):
And so like, when I felt like Igot a job, I was just like, Oh
my God, I make huge dollar bucksnow, you know?
And then I would spend it all.
And then having that like, Oh, Ihave all this stuff now, but not
saving for the big stuff too.
And then I felt like bad when Iwasn't getting the big stuff
when I thought I needed it.
Like, like you were saying,like, people were like, I should
(13:47):
have saved for a house or Ishould have saved for this car.
And then now I'm like, Oh man,how much like.
Sweaters and bags that I buythat could have equaled a car
and, you know, and then feelinglike I didn't do enough or save
enough.
I can totally see how peoplefeel that kind of shame and
then.
But it felt good in the moment.
(14:08):
Does that make sense?
You know?
Oh, yeah.
I talk all the time, especiallywith my younger clients who are
first time homebuyers, aboutdelayed gratification because
that's, I mean, you're likelyclose in age to me, but Kids who
are growing up right now, theydon't experience that, that
delayed gratification.
And it's great what you weresaying with your daughter that
(14:29):
she has to match the amount ofmoney with the object.
So it kind of gives it value,like it gives that money weight
because otherwise it's just apiece of paper, right?
Right.
And on the podcast, I talk somuch about money stories and
like what our money stories are,whether our parents, our parents
all have the best of intentions,right?
They did the best they couldwith what they had.
(14:49):
Right.
But Or, and it's left a lot ofus with money trauma, and I
think it's important toacknowledge that, and I just
read, a really great book, it'scalled Everything But Money, by
a Canadian author up here, and,it really highlights the fact
that Your money problems areabout everything but money.
(15:11):
Oftentimes it can begenerational trauma, it can be
the way you were raised, it canbe the conversations around
money, or whether you're theproduct of a divorce, or all of
these things impact our spendingand our attitudes towards money.
Just in the way that yourrelationship with your husband
has been impacted by all thebaggage that you're carrying
(15:32):
from previous relationships fromyour upbringing, right?
different.
And it's actually something thatI would say people in our
society right now put a biggervalue on money than they do on
healthy relationships and beinga great mom and all these things
that you can't attach a pricetag to.
(15:53):
So I think it's important to begentle with yourself when you're
thinking, when you're shittingyourself to death and saying I
should have done this, I shouldhave done that.
While also having someaccountability for the behavior
and next steps forward.
So I also talk a lot about onthe podcast about how you should
be employing these professionalswho actually can give a job to
(16:14):
your money or can help you paydown your debt or help you reach
all those goals because there'speople who are Really excited to
meet you and work with you.
But often times that shame keepspeople from walking to the
office or booking an onlineappointment.
Because people, you don't knowwhat you don't know.
Right?
Right.
And then that's all kind ofcovered up with these feelings
(16:35):
of vulnerability that peopledon't like to feel.
Yeah, yeah, I can definitely seehow, like, if I was like, to
imagine the situation where I'msomebody who needs financial
help and it's something thatmaybe they haven't talked about,
you know, at all, just to belike, okay, today I'm going to
(16:55):
get up and I'm going to gosomewhere that I'm going to talk
to somebody, like, you know, andthen, In my head, we talk about
like all this like shoulds andthen trying to like Seem like
you've got it together, but it'sokay that you if you don't like,
you know, you don't have to Findthe perfect outfit like that
can't Don't let that be anexcuse on why you don't get up
(17:18):
and just go, you know, you don'thave to look a certain way.
And move away from comparison,because the Joneses, if you're
keeping up with the Joneses,they're dead.
It's 2024.
Everybody has debt.
They're like drowning in it.
So move away from comparisontowards alignment.
And if you have an idea, even ifyour life is nowhere.
(17:38):
Near what you want it to be ifyou have an idea of the goals
that you want to achieve Thenyou can take steps towards that
but you have to get rid of thecomparison That is really the
bane of my existence such a petpeeve when people are looking at
their neighbors and thinkingthey should be doing The same
things like they don't have youryour backpack of memories and
they don't have your goals.
(17:59):
So forget it doesn't matterExactly.
And, and also listeners, itdoesn't matter where you are in
your journey.
If you're a young professional,if you're in college, if you're
in your retirement stage, likeevery walks of life should, you
know.
This is something that you cantake stuff away from, and
(18:20):
lessons away from.
So I like that.
And, you know, and for like usmoms and parents out there,
like, it's not too early to,introduce your kid to money and
having those conversations sothat they learn, as well.
Even like I said, with mydaughter, it's more about her
learning her numbers.
(18:41):
These five pieces of paper equalthis bluey toy that she really
likes, you know?
So it's that kind of lessons,although she may never remember
taking five dollars to go buythe bluey toy.
When she grows up, it'ssomething that can start like
forming this relationship withmoney and she's learning
regardless, right?
(19:01):
Like whether you're intentionalabout it or not, she's learning
from your behavior.
So if you are intentional andyou're giving her that good.
financial knowledge or financialliteracy, then you're really
doing her a service rather thana disservice of hiding behind
whatever money stuff you'regoing through.
Let me know your thoughts onthis, but I also try when I'm
(19:24):
intentionally shopping with mydaughter.
So like, if we're just going tothe grocery store, I'm like, I'm
buying a bunch of groceries andshe's not really paying
attention, you know, then I'mlike, swipe with my card.
But if it's something where I'mgoing and I'm like, gonna let
her pick something out, And lether have the practice of paying
for it.
I like to use paper money infront of her.
(19:44):
And then that way she doesn't,in my opinion, in my brain, it
says, Whitney, this is teachingyour daughter not to just swipe
and go, swipe and go, you know,because I feel like that's how
people get into debt reallyfast.
You're telling me that you'recorrect in that.
And I think that both are good.
(20:05):
It's obviously important thatkids understand what cash is.
But then I look ahead where Itry to vision, envision what
Things are going to be like 10years from now, 15 years from
now.
That's true.
And cash may become obsolete,right?
Like we, we don't know what'sgoing to happen.
So I think introducing your kidsat the right developmental age
(20:27):
to that piece of plastic andlike, hey, this has a value too.
And this is actually linked to abank account and then opening up
a bank account when they're.
8, 9, 10, so that they can seewhat it's like or giving them a
prepaid visa so they can see thedeclining balance on it and see
what the ramifications are ontheir own finances, I think is
(20:48):
also a great idea.
That's a good idea.
Yeah, I might pick that up whenshe understands.
Numbers more like she really inthe visual numbers.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
She always tells me she goes,it, she goes, it's, it's 0 7 2 3
o'clock.
And I'm like, what?
(21:09):
And she like looks up thedigital clock and she goes, it's
0 7 2 3.
And I go.
Yeah, 723.
Good job.
Yeah, girl, close enough.
She got the numbers right.
And it's so interesting becauseI didn't ask her what time it
was, but then she's alsolearning that like, that's a
clock and it's a clock a time,you know?
(21:31):
So everything's just whateverthe number is, a clock.
Yeah.
And I was having this, to getaway from financials, I was
having this moment with her.
Where, everyone started puttingup their Christmas decorations
in, like right afterThanksgiving.
And listeners, at the time ofthis, we're recording this on
December 11th.
So it's been 11 days, so quoteunquote, Since Christmas has
(21:54):
started, apparently, becauseeveryone starts counting it on
the first, she has walkedoutside and seen our neighbors,
decorations and every time shegoes outside, she screams like
super loud.
It's the first day of Christmas.
And I'm like.
I'm like, well, if our neighborsweren't awake now, it's like
(22:15):
having like a rooster comeoutside and just keep announcing
that every day for the last 11days, plus, you know, those days
between Thanksgiving and thefirst that every day is the
first day of Christmas.
And so it's fun watching herkind of try to learn the Like
what time is and that days havepassed, but like she learns
(22:39):
these phrases and then she justthinks that just means that all
of December is Christmas.
Like her interpretation, right?
Yeah, and it's so interesting tosee like a three year old mind,
right?
Cause I, you know, you werearound little kids cause you
were a teacher, but my child isthe first in our friend group
where like, everyone just islike, Oh, what's she doing
(23:02):
today?
And I'm like, she's learning.
It's the first day of Christmasor like, you know, and she'll.
She comes in, and she's learninghow to interact with people.
I don't know if your kids didthis, but like, my daughter,
she'll like, somebody will belike, oh, like, nice dress, or
she's checking out, and she'slike, oh, you're such a big girl
(23:22):
paying for your own stuff,right?
And she goes, I'm not a biggirl.
I'm a Kayla.
I was like, yes, you are.
And then she starts tellingeveryone your business.
That's mommy.
That's daddy.
I'm buying this.
I have 5 like, and then they'rejust like, she's so like
talkative.
And I go, yep.
(23:42):
Now you can't get her to stop.
She's going to talk to you forthe next 10 minutes.
Have fun.
You know?
Oh man.
My kids did that too.
And it's so funny because.
The younger they are, the more,and not in a bad way, the more
self centered they are, liketheir world is here and they
can't imagine anything outsideof their own experience, right?
(24:03):
And I saw this when I wasteaching too.
Now my eldest is seven, so she'sKind of getting out of that.
She's understanding that otherpeople have different
experiences, but my five yearold is still very much
entrenched in that likeIndividualistic it is my world
and only my world exists andit's so funny because they'll
(24:24):
tell ya their interpretation ofthings is, it's here, it's right
here.
And if you're listening, andyou're not looking at the video,
I, my hands are right in frontof my face because that is as
far as your child cognitivelysees, when they're under the age
of five.
And it's so funny to me cause Ihave to remind myself and you'll
go through it too.
Having two kids is when they'reat different developmental
(24:47):
stages.
You have to speak to themdifferently and they have a
completely different experienceof what's going on in the house
or on a day trip or whatever isgoing on.
It's so funny.
It's hilarious.
Yeah, I am so ready like Notthat I'm ready to, like, kick my
kids out, but Mikayla is soready to go to school, like, she
(25:11):
asks all the time.
She goes, when can I see myteacher?
Like, you know, and, and it'sone of those things where she's
allotted screen time, and so shegets to pick between our family
watches, Miss Rachel or Mika, orMiss Katie's classroom.
And she recently has beengetting really into Katie's
classroom.
And so she's like, oh, missKatie's my teacher.
(25:34):
And I was like, well, yeah, it'sKatie's classroom.
And so then she's like, when canI go to my classroom?
Like I wanna go to school.
And she'll like put on a littlebackpack and she'll stuff it
full of like her stuffies.
And she's like, they're allcoming with me to school.
And I was like, all right, it'sgonna be heavy.
And then.
You know, and then she realizesthat it's way too heavy and
(25:54):
she'll just bring one stuffy andbut she'll pack a backpack.
And I'm like, this little girlis ready to just leave us.
Like she's off, she's ready togo.
And it's so interesting to seetoo, because that like, in my
head, like I still have, youknow, our recent experience,
(26:14):
well, you you're a teacher.
So your recent experience is youteaching, but my recent
experience with school is likebeing like, okay.
Senioritis dragging my feet.
Like I don't like, and thenhere, here's my three year old
like.
She's not even enrolled inschool yet, and she's like
packing a bag.
She's bringing all her friends.
She's got she's on the other endof the spectrum Yeah, she hasn't
(26:36):
been jaded yet from the systemAnd so It's like really nice to
see but like I also feel likeyou've kind of touched on this
where you're like It's a harmonyand not so much of a balance
right when it comes to stuff Solike when right now my kids are
(26:56):
full time at home, right?
They're three and four monthsAnd when she goes off to school
and how excited she is fromschool, I have like, I feel like
she is going to be super easy tojust fly out the door and go to
school.
But also that means that mywhole morning routine is going
to change.
It's not just wake up, care forthe four month old when she
wakes up, and then when thetoddler eventually rolls out of
(27:19):
bed, you know, get her fed andall that.
Then it's gonna be like, okay,this time wake up, plus now I
have to wake the baby, geteveryone in the car, I mean,
luckily I don't have to gothrough snow like you.
But, yeah, that whole, thatwhole thing is gonna be kind of
a new, experience for me, solike, How did you deal with it?
(27:42):
Like with realizing that it'snot going to be so much of a
balance, but I, you say harmony.
I like using the word flow.
Like it's a, like, sometimesyou'll have more time to flow
into your business, more time toflow with your family.
How did you give me like,honestly, I don't know if I'm
the person to take advice.
It's like I said, it's chaos allday, every day, but it's our
(28:04):
chaos that we've created.
Right.
So when my kids were reallylittle, it was COVID was
happening and I would.
It's teaching from home.
So I had, and I also had two ofmy sisters, I have a twin sister
and an older sister, and theyhad both moved in with me
because of different lifecircumstances.
And so I had four adults and twosmall children and my youngest
(28:31):
was actually sleeping in my walkin closet upstairs.
And it was just wild.
It was crazy.
Like we were all the adults wereworking and we were kind of like
sharing childcare and trying tojust get through the day.
And then by the end of the day,I was exhausted.
And my husband and I said, okay,we need to make a change because
this is not working between uspassing off the kids and trying
(28:54):
to somehow make money just wasnot working.
So.
We were really intentional aboutcreating the kind of life we
wanted.
We moved.
Balance.
Hello.
So listeners, you can't see heryet, but, if my daughter, my
toddler literally must have hadher ears ringing cause she
(29:16):
walked in and now she is, Ithink she's going to start
interviewing Brianna.
Sounds good.
So yeah, we moved, we moved upnorth, we moved two hours away,
I quit my job, I started my ownbusiness, and then we had one
kid in daycare and one kid atschool, and it's continued to
(29:38):
change and grow, all of ourroutines, but as I get older, I
realize that things will alwayschange, and you have to find the
good, and then just kind ofmitigate the bad.
In every situation, and like ifat the beginning of this year,
getting to school was a bigissue and that was like this
(29:59):
real, really big to do everymorning, getting the hair done,
getting the clothes on.
Now it's not.
But now coming home after schoolsnacks a big deal and that's a
battle and this and that andit's always going to change I'm
always going to have a hard partin my day and it's just kind of
rolling with whatever that'sgonna be But then on the back
(30:21):
end and the conversations that Ihave with my husband For your
partner, whoever you'reparenting with, it's kind of
about being, in my mind, beingintentional about setting
yourself up for success,acknowledging that you're going
to have these bad days that aregoing to be tough, but also just
having as much success aspossible and really amplifying
(30:43):
those moments of joy.
So for us, for my husband and I,It's joyful to spend time
together and this is why we areboth self employed and work from
home so that we can have likethe odd lunch date or even just
a child free conversation.
Like that amplifies the joy inmy life.
Whereas driving, commutingthrough the snow to a workplace
(31:04):
would not.
So those are things that arewithin my control that I can
make sure are amplified but, AsI say that things still blow up.
It's parenthood, right?
It's parenthood.
It's entrepreneurship.
It's, it's all of that.
But, yeah, I think trying to beintentional about setting
yourself up for success andamplifying the joy is my advice.
(31:26):
I totally agree with you becausehaving kids is such a whole
nother level like I feel likenobody who like babysits or
watches some other, someoneelse's kids quite can understand
what it's like to have your own,and then having a packed house
like you had, you know, whereeverybody was also staying home
during that time.
(31:47):
Like you, you had four adults,two kids, but then you also had
like virtually 25 kids with you,but it's not the same as if
somebody will come over andlike, Oh, let me take your, you
know, your daughter out todinner.
And I'm like, cool.
Go with auntie go with uncle.
And then they're like, Oh, shewas perfect.
She was like, so well behaved.
(32:07):
And I'm like, yeah.
Because you took her out andthen you went to Target.
Those are like her favoriteplaces, you know.
Does sometimes burn you?
Like that makes me so madsometimes when you're like
complaining about how stressfulyour household is and they're
like, well, they were fine withme, it's like.
Novelty, of course! You'regiving them candy! Like, you
(32:29):
wouldn't have to also do all thehousehold maintenance and all
this stuff.
You could be fun and.
Yeah, that gets me sometimes.
There was, there was like thisInstagram Meme or something
where it was like, Oh, you wantto come help out, come at 4am
and then tell me if you stillwant to help out like, you know,
(32:49):
part, yes.
So we've talked a lot of likefinancials and family and all
that.
What do you, what would youadvise to be kind of like an
actionable step for anyonelistening, whether they connect
with financials or with likeparenthood harmony?
What would you suggest to themwould be like a good, First
step, because I know that sinceyou were a teacher, you probably
(33:11):
have a lot of like kid tricks,way probably more than me.
I haven't quite gotten to, youknow, the four or five year old
stage yet.
So to calm the chaos, I don'tknow, I haven't found the
secret, magic pill yet, but twothings, two things actually I
(33:31):
would mention is kind of, firstof all, you need to get quiet
and really see what your goalsare for your family or for your
business or for whatever it isyou're working on, because if
you don't know where you want togo, you're Just kind of treading
water, and if you're havingthese feelings of stress and
(33:53):
overwhelm that comes withmotherhood, then you're gonna
stay there.
Unless you know where to pivot,you're gonna stay there.
So first of all, I alwayssuggest meditation.
I think it's a great practice assomebody who suffers from
anxiety.
It's a really great way to startmy day.
Ten minutes.
And at first I was only able todo like a minute and a half, but
(34:15):
it's a muscle that you train andyou work up to it, right?
So I would suggest that foranybody, meditation or breath
work to just kind of centeryourself.
And if you can do it before yourkids wake up, that's like gold.
That is my favorite thing,favorite way to set myself up.
For success in the day.
So, that's the one piece ofadvice I would give you.
(34:37):
The second is to be intentional.
So, to plan.
I always look at my day inblocks.
And specifically when mychildren are going to be around.
And what can I do right now toset myself up for success at
that time?
So I know, I stop my workdaybecause I have the luxury of
(34:57):
doing that.
Half an hour early, I make surethere's a snack on the table,
and I make sure that pencils aresharpened for homework, and
things are just kind of laidout.
Because, and, it gets easierbecause once my kids get used to
that routine, they start to doit themselves.
So they start to get Get theirthings and it takes time and it
(35:19):
always takes longer than you'regoing to think to kind of
procure a routine for your kids,but I'm a huge fan of routines
and that's something that theycan fall back onto when they've
had a hard day, right?
They still know what the nextstep is just like you as mom or
dad knows what.
where you need to go becauseyou've been intentional in
thinking about what your goalsare.
(35:40):
They might not have goals, butthey know what their routines
are.
So that's going to be theirsafeguard.
So those are two things that weuse in our house to kind of make
things a little easier onourselves.
And like I said, nobody'sperfect, but that's how we get
through it.
Nice.
So I'll give you one more tip,if you're not able to get your
kid into a routine, then, just asmall cue for Next.
(36:02):
So I have one kid who's notneurotypical ADHD and you have
to break things into reallysmall chunks.
So if I said, take off yourshoes and go to the washroom and
wash your hands, none of itwould get done.
She'd be spinning in anotherroom.
Do that.
So with her, we just say next.
So next is take off your shoes.
(36:24):
Mm-hmm And it does take moreparent direction.
Next is wash your hands.
Next is, but it gives her thatanchor to think, okay, this is
where I'm going.
'cause she can be super focusedwhen she knows what the heck she
needs to focus on.
Right.
But if it's too much, she justdoes whatever she wants to do.
Right.
And I think that's somethingthat, especially for little,
little, little kids is reallyimportant.
(36:46):
Just simple and clearinstructions.
Yeah.
And I think that's reallyimportant for parents to know
too, is that.
Sometimes, the way that you'reapproaching something might not
be working for, for you and foryour child.
And then figuring out what thatkey word is.
So in your child's case, it'snext, whereas in my child, it's
(37:06):
step one, step two.
And meeting your kid wherethey're at and what they're,
where they're understandingstuff.
Will help one you to not befrustrated because they're not
picking up what you want them tolearn in the way that you want
them to learn it.
But if you meet your kid wherethey're at, and this, we always
talk about this in business too,or you meet your client where
(37:27):
they're at, and that's how youcan make the bigger connection.
Then it's going to be lessstressful as you start teaching
them this routine.
Or in anything in whateverthey're learning.
You're sounding like a teacherthere meeting them where they're
at.
That's, that's brilliant.
I love that.
It's the mental health side.
I did behavioral management for10 years.
(37:50):
And so, a lot of the work that Idid was helping clients, get
through, we call it the noise intheir head sometimes, to help
them focus and, help them withjob skills and, and life skills.
And so a lot of that stuff islike figuring out a way in which
they'll understand, to meettheir goals that they want to
(38:12):
achieve in life.
But it's so weird because likeyou say that but I'm like, I
could never see myself as ateacher, like, I never say
never, maybe it's because like Ican't see myself as a teacher to
small kids, I'm totally down fora bake sale like I would do but
I could not be like the teacherin the room.
(38:33):
I will gladly support.
You want to take my kid?
Here's a basket.
Thank you.
Have fun.
What do you need?
I will bring you what you need.
If you teach my child, I'm thatmom to know, well, you've been
there, you know, you've been onthe other side.
Awesome.
Awesome.
Well, Okay, so how can peopleget a hold of you?
(38:56):
How can they reach out andconnect and all your podcast
stuff?
As well.
Yeah, absolutely.
So I am, I live on Instagram, metoo, Brianna Goslin mortgages,
and my website is brianna goslinmortgages.com.
But if you're interested in mypodcast, it's called Let's Talk
About Money, and it's availableon Spotify, apple all podcast,
(39:20):
uh, platforms.
So you can go ahead and pleasesubscribe, rate, and review.
We love that.
That helps us with the algorithmand, yeah.
I'd be happy to send me a DM ifyou heard me and I'd love to
chat.
Awesome.
Yeah.
And we're going to put all ofBrianna's information in the
show notes.
So if you're out and you'relistening to podcasts in your
(39:41):
car, like I do, you can comeback, check out the show notes
and grab all those links too.
Because brilliant.
Do you listen to podcasts inyour car?
I'm a big driver.
All the time.
I'm always listening topodcasts.
I don't like the quiet.
Yeah, me too.
Um, perfect.
Well, thank you for joining ustoday.
(40:03):
And I've, I learned a lot.
And I feel like we were able totouch on subjects that have yet
to be touched on this podcast.
And I really hope that this kindof inspires people to kind of
talk about their financials.
And, you know, even if it's justsomeone listens to this and
(40:23):
says, Hey partner, can we sitdown?
Let's just talk about this.
Thank you, Whitney.
I so enjoyed this.
I appreciate you.
Yeah.
Thank you for coming again.
And I'm sure that we will talkvery soon.
And I would love to have youback on the podcast anytime.
Thank you.
Thank you for joining us onCaffe Chaos.
(40:45):
If you've enjoyed this episode,I would really appreciate if you
would leave us a review and itreally helps us get out there to
more people.
Thank you again to our guest,Brianna Goslin, and I will see
you all next time.
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