Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Welcome to Caffeinated Chaos,where business deals happen
between diaper changes andfriendships are fueled by
caffeine.
I'm Whitney Uggen, your host,and I'm here to talk all things
business, parenthood, and ofcourse, keeping up with the
BFFs.
Whether you're juggling theboardroom, the playroom, or just
here for some coffee fueledchaos, we've got you covered.
(00:20):
Get ready for real talk, laughs,and a whole lot of heart as we
dive into the beautiful messthat is entrepreneurship,
parenthood, and everything inbetween.
So let's embrace the chaostogether.
Caffeinated, of course.
Today's guest is on a mission toinspire 1 million people, to
(00:41):
inspire 1 million people tobreak free from feeling stuck,
discover their purpose, andcreate a life of fulfillment on
their own terms.
With over 15 years of coachingexperience, he now specializes
in guiding people toward morepurpose driven and meaningful
lives.
Ally West focuses on three keymain pillars, health, wealth,
(01:03):
and relationship, and hasdeveloped a powerful six step
framework called Pathway toPurpose, designed to help his
clients achieve life-changingresults.
He also leads the fulfillmentformula collective, a group
coaching program that bringstogether like-minded individuals
to grow support one another andcreate lasting transformations.
So let's welcome Allie to thepodcast.
(01:26):
Hi.
Hi.
Thank you so much for having me.
I'm really excited to be here.
And you are joining us all theway from Colombia.
So, thank you.
No problem.
Yes, currently in Medellín,Colombia.
Wow.
How's it going over there?
Yeah, it's good.
Only been here for, in Colombiaitself for five weeks and in
(01:49):
Medellín for two weeks andenjoying it so far.
Yeah, it's, the first few weekswere crazy because my wife and I
were here, there, andeverywhere.
We spent three weeks.
It's pretty much traveling allover the country and we covered
about 1500 kilometers and didlike nine buses and went to five
different places.
So it was hectic traveling, butit was amazing experiences.
(02:11):
So yeah, it's a, it's a coolcountry for sure.
That's amazing.
Okay.
So you told us a little bitabout where you are right now,
but tell us who you are.
Yeah, for sure.
I always find that aninteresting question because
from my experience of working onmyself and developing myself and
(02:32):
growing, I always feel as if weare constantly learning about
ourselves and who we truly are.
If you talk about kind of what Ido in my day to day, currently
I'm a life coach and I coach andhelp people to find more
fulfillment and more purpose intheir lives.
And a lot of the clients that Iwork with, they are ambitious,
(02:53):
high performing individuals.
A lot of them are businessowners and I just help them to
kind of navigate theirchallenges and lead them towards
more of a.
A fulfilling way of life and Ialways say are helping them to
live their dreams as well andlive the dreams that they truly
want and desire rather thanmaybe what society expects of
them.
So that's what I do in my day today, but I haven't always done
(03:15):
this because prior to leavingthe UK, which was October 2022.
So I've been a digital nomad forjust over two years.
Two years now, but before that,I spent 15 years almost in the
health and fitness industry.
And I did everything in thatindustry.
So I was a personal trainer.
I ran my own personal trainingbusiness.
I was an educator for otherpersonal trainers in the UK.
(03:37):
And then I also.
ran my own gym alongside mywife, Sarah, for five and a half
years.
So we had a 9, 000 square footfacility that we, that we ran.
And there was lots of challengesand ups and downs with that.
So yeah, my whole life, my wholeadult life pretty much was in
the health and fitness industry.
And then I kind of got.
a little bit disillusioned withthat industry.
(03:59):
And I got a bit fed up of it andI lost my major, you could say.
And then in 2021, I made a bolddecision that I wanted to come
away from the fitness industry.
I wanted to close the gym andlive this dream that I've always
had.
And so did my wife of, oftraveling the world and working
remotely.
So we put the wheels in motionfor that.
And to be fair, we did it in avery short timeframe.
(04:20):
We set ourselves an 18 monthtarget and we actually
accomplished.
In about 15 months.
So we were well ahead of target.
And yeah, we're just we're justliving our life This is the
eighth country that we've livedin and worked in And yeah, we
just get to travel the worldwork remotely and and also do
something that i'm hugelypassionate about Which is
(04:41):
helping other people to grow anddevelop as well And so that's
kind of like my potted historyand what i'm all about but we
can go In any direction, we candive into more of that if you
want to, I'm, I'm open to sharemore of my story, it's up to
you, it's your, it's yourpodcast.
Oh my god, the conversationsI've had with guests, we always,
like, listeners, I have all myguests fill out an application,
(05:04):
and it's our jumping off point,but we've all, like, all my
guests have always taken leftturns, and we've ended up in,
like, different conversations,so, one, I love your story, and
kudos for finishing, like, threemonths early.
Earlier than what you hadanticipated.
Me and my husband are sonotoriously bad at planning
stuff.
Like we were good at theplanning part, but then we feel
(05:27):
like every single time we plansomething, it completely goes
awry, you know?
Like, we were planning on movingto LA and now with the fires and
the rent increases, that's just.
being put on hold.
And there are people who areactually in LA right now who
need, who need the housingbecause at this time of this
recording, the LA fires is stilla really relevant thing right
(05:50):
now.
So yeah, we've just kind oflearned to kind of go with the
flow.
And now that we have a toddlerand a newborn, it's.
You kind of have to at thispoint, but yes, okay.
So I am, I have so manyquestions.
Okay.
You took the leap from, thehealth and wellness.
And you mentioned a six stepframework, which was like the
pathway to purpose.
So like, could you go into thata little bit?
(06:13):
Yeah.
Yeah.
So that's, I guess you couldcall it a framework, a system, a
methodology for how I help my,my clients.
And there's different stages toit, but the key stages are the
first part is.
What I like to call kind of,dream setting.
So that encompasses manydifferent things, but my first
(06:35):
starting point with any clientis.
To get clarity and to getcrystal clear clarity, not just
for me, but more importantly forthem on what it is they truly
want.
And I don't feel enough peoplego deep enough on this, so they
kind of go surface level andthey don't strip away the layers
of the onion to find out deepinside, and I always say in the
heart.
What they want from their lifeand how they want their life to
(06:56):
look, feel, smell, taste, all ofthat kind of stuff.
So the kind of starting point isthis set in the dreams, but also
kind of getting a gauger ofwhere they're at right now.
And in, in that part of dreamsetting as well, we include
stuff like figuring out yourpersonal values, figuring out
your vision, figuring out yourgoals, all that kind of stuff.
Then once I've got that, part inplace, the kind of second step
(07:19):
of it is creating a plan and youspoke about planning there and
you and your husband are notnecessarily good at it.
And I think there's lots ofelements to a plan.
And I think where a lot ofpeople go wrong is they truly
believe that.
A plan has to be fixed andalmost like military regimented
plan.
And then when something goeswrong or they have a challenge
or a setback, the whole worldcrumbles or they, or things fall
(07:40):
apart.
So when I'm creating a planalongside a client, I like it to
firstly be.
aligned with who they are andwhat their values are and what
their vision is and what theirdreams are.
But also it needs to be flexibleand it needs to be able to move
and mold and be malleable.
So as, as they're navigatingthrough that journey towards
that dream life or towards thatlife of purpose and fulfillment.
(08:04):
If something does come up, aroadblock, a hiccup, when crazy
stuff happens, they can navigatethat using a flexible plan.
So the plan that I help them todesign is not like set in stone.
It has to be, has to beflexible.
Then once we've got those twocomponents in place, we go into
more of like.
You could say that the deeperstuff and a lot of my work is
(08:26):
around emotional well being.
So the third part of kind of my,my six step process is going
into emotional well being andemotional, intelligence, you
could say.
So we go into how, my clientscan process their emotions, how
they can handle them, how theycan deal with them, how they can
overcome setbacks and be moreresilient.
And on those kinds of things.
(08:47):
So that's a huge part of thatthird step is emotional
wellbeing, emotionalintelligence.
And then the fourth part iswhere we get into like mindset
type of stuff.
So talking about a growthmindset, talking about how they
again, can be more resilient,have more of a positive mindset,
more of an optimistic outlook onlife rather than a pessimistic
one or a negative one.
(09:08):
And then the fifth step in myprocess is kind of.
Knitting it all together so thatthey can have lasting long-term
success.
So I, I call that part, ongoingprogress or ongoing success.
So in that stage, we're lookingat like how we can tie all of
these things together and notjust achieve a goal or an
(09:28):
aspiration for the next six or12 months.
It's 18 months, it's threeyears, five years, seven years,
10 years down the line.
Mm-hmm And then the final, partof that is, I would just call it
again, like it's, it's almostlike a maintenance part.
So we're like, what are thehabits, rituals, routines that
they can continue to do day in,day out, that's going to lead
them towards a fulfillingpurposeful, successful life and
(09:49):
all of that good jazz.
So that's kind of.
There's a lot more detail to itand there's a lot of like moving
parts to each of those segments,but they're kind of the
framework that I take my clientsthrough so they can see their
journey that they're on.
And it also helps both of us tomake sure that they're getting
the results that they're afteras well.
And really the three pillars tomy, my coaching.
(10:10):
Our health wealth andrelationships and we can go into
those areas as well because allthree of those kind of key
pillars can be broken down intosub pillars or sub buckets as
well, right?
Oh my God.
Okay.
So you don't know this about me,but, I worked in the mental
health field and I didbehavioral management, with
(10:30):
clients, for the longest time.
And.
What you've been talking aboutis literally it's a it's a more
step process.
And we had a simpler version wasworking with adults with
disabilities.
But yeah, that's basically kindof what we did to with helping
them with their maladaptivebehaviors.
And we would call it like aneeds and services plan.
(10:52):
And so I completely understandwhere you're coming from.
And I know that that systemworks because something similar
and a simpler version.
Was something that we used withour clients.
So yeah, so I love that becauselike, it's like, as you were
talking, I could be, I was like,just remembering like, Oh my
God, like I did that somethingalong the lines of that for the
last like nine years.
(11:13):
And I'm like, completely blownaway that like.
How like related it was and wehad never talked about this
before.
So I love that.
Yeah, there you go okay.
So my question to you is Withthe the buckets that you were
talking about the what what wasit wealth?
(11:37):
health and relationships wealthhealth and Relationships.
Okay, so we on here talk aboutparenthood business and
relationships.
So I kind of want to dive intothe relationship bucket a little
bit with you.
So are you talking like, likeromantic relationships or like
friendship relationships orjust, you know, society
(11:57):
relationships?
We can break it down into fourcategories.
So the first one I, help myclients with, or I talk about is
your intimate relationships.
So that's your wife, yourhusband, your partner.
The second, breakdown or secondarea is your friends.
So the friendships that youhave, the friendship
relationships.
The third one is your family.
(12:18):
Yeah, I suppose you could putfamily before friends, but the
third one is your family and therelationships you have with your
family.
And then the last one, I like tocall it your professional
network, but some of my clientscall it their colleagues or
their staff, but I call it yourprofessional network.
So if we hone in on all of thosefour areas of relationships, we
can strengthen thoserelationships.
We can create better ones.
(12:39):
We can create more loving,harmonious relationships.
And I always believe that it'slike the same as the health.
I don't believe you can, if youwant to live the best possible
life and you want to live themost fulfilling life and the
most purposeful life, I don'tbelieve you can have like one
without the other.
They all kind of intersect andintegrate with each other.
(12:59):
And I always feel like if one'sI say out of whack or out of
sync, then it directly has animpact on the other.
So if I relate that back to thehealth kind of book or the
health pillar.
There's four parts to health.
There's physical health, mentalhealth, emotional health, and
spiritual health.
And I always feel like if one'sout of sync or out of whack, it
(13:20):
has a direct knock on effect orimpact on the other one.
It's the same with yourrelationships.
If you've like got a reallystrong family relationship, but
then your professional networkis all over the place, it's
going to have an impact on theother three.
I'm a data scientist, so I'mreally good at like, sort of
like the other three buckets orthe other three sub pillars, you
could say.
So they're the ones that I focuson with my clients.
Those four different areas.
(13:42):
And what I do that I know a lotof people don't do and where a
lot of people go wrong is I'mlike a real big stickler and a
real big geek.
You could say for data.
I like to have metrics on it.
And a lot of these kinds ofthings we're talking about
emotional wellbeing, mental wellbeing, they're often very
different.
Difficult to put a, ameasurement on or to put data or
(14:05):
attach a metric to it.
But there are ways that you cando it.
So when I'm talking to myclients or I'm helping my
clients or I'm coaching myclients, and we're talking about
relationships, specifically, Imight just take a snapshot of
those four buckets and say,okay, score each one out of 10,
like your, your professionalnetwork.
Is it a seven, eight, nine?
Is it one, your family, yourintimate relationships, your
(14:27):
friends?
Where do you score them on ascale of 10, one to 10?
And then if their intimaterelationship is like a nine, but
their friends is like a two,then we know which one we need
to work on.
And then we'll dive deeper intothat.
So if someone's like an eight,nine or 10, I kind of leave it
alone because they're at a goodlevel anyway.
But if they're like a two,three, four, anything below an
(14:48):
eight.
We know that it needs work onit.
And that goes for all thedifferent areas that I help my
clients with.
So that's a good thing for yourlisteners.
They can just take differentareas of their life and they can
just honestly, honestly scorethemselves out of 10.
And if there's a lower score,then you want to work on that
area.
But another caveat to this isthat I'm very conscious when I'm
(15:11):
helping a client that we onlyfocus on one thing at a time
because human beings cannotmultitask and they're not good
at taking on like loads ofdifferent things.
And this is a big problem.
Like a lot of my clients areentrepreneurs, business owners,
they're high performingindividuals within like a
corporate business or corporateentity, and they are already
(15:32):
spinning like Thank you.
50 million plates and a lot ofyour listeners are parents and
then there's even more plateswhen you're at, when you're at
so many plates and a lot of myclients, I'm not a parent
myself, but I think, not all ofmy clients, but nearly all of my
clients are parents.
And I, I get it because fromworking with them, I know how
difficult it is to run abusiness or, be a high powered.
(15:55):
corporate, career drivenindividual and have a family at
the same time.
So when I'm coaching clients,I'm conscious of that, that
we're only focusing on onething.
We pick that thing, we work onit and I wouldn't say master it,
but we work on it until there'ssignificant improvement.
Then we move on to the nextthing.
And that's why.
You can't put a fixed timelineon the coaching journey.
Like my clients commit to aminimum of six months, but they
(16:18):
might be with me for six months.
They might be with me for 12months, two years, three years.
It depends on that individual'skind of journey and what they
need to hone in on and focus onand improve.
Nice.
So, with that, then I'm assumingthen you and your clients will
look at the three buckets andthen decide which direction to
go in first.
(16:38):
Is that kind of what you were?
Exactly.
Yeah.
So one of the first things Ispoke about the dream setting
section and like one of thefirst section, what first parts
of that dream setting section.
Is we do some, it sounds reallyclinical, but we do something
called a life audit.
So we take all of those threebig buckets and the sub buckets
and we break them all down andwe spend probably like the first
(17:00):
or two sessions that we dotogether, coaching sessions
together, doing a life audit.
And then they do that as liketheir in air quotes action plan
or homework outside of thecoaching sessions as well to
audit all of these areas oftheir life and audit them
honestly.
So.
There's all the differentsections and then there's a
series of questions to askthemselves honestly and openly
(17:20):
and then they just kind of likescore themselves and audit their
own life.
And then we know what we need towork on and this is, I've took
this from the health and fitnessindustry because before when I
was in that arena.
I kind of had two niches that Iwork within.
One was, working with peoplewith injuries because a lot of
my training and my history inthe fitness industry was with
(17:43):
human movement and biomechanicsand applied functional science.
So a lot of my clients hadinjuries and it was injury
prevention and injuryrehabilitation.
But then as you know, like mostof my bread and butter was
weight loss clients, peoplewanting to lose weight, get in
shape, get fit, get healthy.
And it baffled me how manyclients used to come to me and
say like, I dunno, my weight, Idunno, my resting heart rate, I
(18:05):
don't know my circumferencemeasurements, I dunno my body
fat.
I don't know what I'm eating ina day.
I dunno how much water I'mdrinking.
I'm like, we've gotta start withall this stuff.
You've got to have data andyou've got to have measurements
because if you don't, you don'tknow where you start in.
You don't know.
How to track as you go and youdon't know where you need to get
to.
So yeah, that life audit mightsound a bit clinical, but my
(18:26):
clients find it super valuablebecause it just gives them a
snapshot of where they're atright now.
And then they know what areasthey need to work on and we know
together what we need to work onand then we can go in that
direction.
So I always think if you don'thave the data, you don't have
the measurements to start with,you just kind of.
Shooting fish in a barrel orgoing in blind, so to speak.
No, no, I totally understand,with us and how I was, in the
(18:47):
mental health field.
We call that a baseline.
So we do the first 30 days witha baseline of, with the client
and evaluation.
But yeah, you can be like, oh, Ido this this many times, but
you're not really sure then, youknow, how will you know that you
get better is exactly what youwere saying.
So I love that.
I, I love how much like thereare parallels and everything
(19:07):
that you're talking about withstuff that I'm like familiar
with already.
So, I like to give our listenersactionable steps.
So with everything that you'vebeen talking about, if somebody
is like, really like, oh, myGod.
That sounds like really great.
What's a good first step forthem to take?
And like, I'm assuming it'sprobably just to pick one of the
(19:27):
buckets and like, be honest withthemselves, right?
Yeah, absolutely.
I think the first, the firststep I always believe is
figuring out the why is, is Icall it desire, like, because as
human beings, we, we act ondesires.
Yeah, I believe that thestarting point for everyone is
(19:49):
always getting thatunderstanding or that.
I say crystal clear clarity onthe why, or I like to call it
desire because as human beings,we act upon our desires most of
the time.
So for example, if you want tohave a pizza and you desire a
pizza, you're going to go andeat a pizza because you've got
(20:09):
the desire to want to eat pizza.
And it's the same for your dreamlife or for living a fulfilled
life, living a purposeful life.
You've got to know like, what'sthe why, what's the desire, like
what, why do you want to dowhatever it is you have.
As a dream or as a vision foryour future self and get in
understanding and get into thedeep Meaningful why of, of what
(20:32):
that is.
And why it is is is always thestarting point.
And this isn't easy, and I thinkthis is why a lot of people
don't live their dreams or theydon't feel fulfilled or they
feel stuck, is because theydon't, they don't have that kind
of desire and discipline to likejust go within themselves and,
and strip away the, the layersof the onion to figure out what
(20:52):
they truly want.
Mm-hmm Because if you, if wewalked out like.
So wherever you are, if wewalked out into the streets of
Medellin and we just askedpeople like, what do you truly
want?
Like, what's your, what's yourwhy?
What's your dream?
What do you really want fromlife?
A lot of people would look atyou like you're a crazy person.
Like they wouldn't know how toanswer that because they've
never taken the time to do it.
They've never taken the time tolike sit down with a piece of
(21:13):
paper or with a laptop and justask those deep questions.
What do I truly want from life?
What, why do I want it?
What do I want to get out oflife?
What is my dream life?
What does it look like?
What does it feel like?
So I think that's always astarting point.
And that's where I start withall of my clients and don't be
superficial, like.
If you want to spend all yourdays on the beach, sipping
cocktails out of a coconut whilelike watching your kids play,
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then that's your, that's yourdream.
That's cool.
And this is another big problemis we base our kind of dreams
and goals and aspirations onsocietal expectations.
We were so programmed by societyand by our parents and our
grandparents and our teachersand our bosses and our friends
and our peers and all that kindof, all those kinds of areas.
(21:58):
And.
You should, not you should, youneed to do your very best to
kind of silence that noise andfollow your own path and follow
your own dreams and also learnwho you truly are and like be
your most authentic self becausethere's no one else like
Whitney, there's no one elselike Ali, we're unique, we're a
gift from a higher power andwe've been gifted a life and
(22:21):
it's a, it's a blessing and amiracle that we're here.
And we should treat our lifelike that, but not enough people
do.
So I think I've gone about it ina long winded way, but the
answer to your question isstarting with the why and the
what, like, what is it that youwant?
Why do you want that?
And go into as much detail, asmuch rich detail as possible.
And then you can start to makethe steps to.
(22:42):
To make that dream a reality or,or, or get that why that you're
after.
thing to add on is when you dothis, you might realize, and
often people realize that theirdream is a lot closer than they
thought.
It's like, it's like a lightbulb or a mind explosion moment.
It's like, actually what mydream is, it's not actually that
(23:02):
far away.
And this happened to me.
It was like, I own a gym.
Yes.
I've got 400 and whatevermembers.
Yes.
There's 20 odd people doingprivate training.
Yes.
But it's not that difficult towrap up my gym, book a plane
ticket to wherever I want to go.
I've got the knowledge andexpertise of how to run a
business.
And I've got like people that Icould potentially start my
(23:25):
coaching business with.
It's not that difficult to do.
My dream isn't that far away.
And that's why I was able to.
Achieve my dream in less timethan I kind of set for myself
because it wasn't as far away asI thought and this often happens
with my clients as well, whatthey, there's a disconnect
between what they, what theythink they want, but what they
(23:47):
actually want in their heart andwhat they actually want in their
heart isn't always that far awayand why is, why is there this
disconnect and why are they notliving their dreams already?
It all boils down to really tolimiting beliefs.
So, twofold answer, get clarityon like what your dream is and
the what and the why, and then,identify and begin to eliminate
(24:10):
your limiting beliefs becauseyour limiting beliefs will
cripple you.
And if people don't know whatlimiting beliefs are, that you
can again, put them into likecategories, but like big ones of
fear, self sabotage,perfectionism, procrastination,
these kind of, these are alllike, symptoms of limiting
beliefs and limiting beliefs arethe biggest thing that hold
(24:32):
people back from living the lifethat they truly want and they
truly desire.
I love that.
My friend, Erica, she just wrotea book and I'm reading it right
now.
So she calls the limitingbeliefs, sticky floors.
And I think that it's a, it's afun way.
To kind of introduce this topicto people because everyone knows
(24:52):
what like a sticky floor is, youknow what I'm talking about?
And so that yeah, that'scompletely what you're saying.
Like sometimes people letthemselves, you know, whether
it's what what's that word like,imposter syndrome?
Like they don't think they likethey earn it or they deserve it
and i'm like no you got this andand so I I love that you talked
(25:13):
about that too because I feellike The whole, like, limited
beliefs is really what holds alot of people back, especially,
like, people who, I'm, like,talking to, like, my mom friends
that I have, like, oh, like, Ican't do that because I have to,
like, do this, or, like, I'm toobusy taking care of the kids,
(25:34):
or, you know, that kind ofthing, so, and I'm just, like,
well, You know, you can have it,you know, you can't do
everything all the time foreveryone, like, you have to, you
know, find a more, I hate usingthe word balance, I like flow,
like a more work life flow,because I don't, like, you hate
the word balance, or why do younot like the word balance?
(25:54):
Just because, like, The way thatI think of it is like, I'm never
going to be 50 50 all the timebetween work and life.
Some days, like, if it's mykid's birthday, it's 100 percent
family life, you know, that dayif it's like, the biggest
Meeting with a sponsor, it'sgoing to be work life most of
(26:15):
that day.
Right.
So then I'm like people, I thinkpeople think of balance as being
50, 50.
And then, so I'm just like, no,like some days it's going to ebb
one way.
And some days it's going to flowthe other way.
And so like, I like the wordflow more, it feels more
flexible.
And that's why I personally likethe, I personally like flow more
(26:35):
than balance.
It's not a scale.
I like, I like both of them.
I often say that balance is aheavily overused word, but it's
severely underutilized.
So people talk about balance allthe time.
They say balance, but theydon't, they don't utilize it.
They don't live in a balance anda harmonious or a flow or an
(26:58):
equilibrium kind of state thatthere, that is a, that's another
big, we spoke about limitingbeliefs, but another big
problem, especially for.
Business owners, for parents,for entrepreneurs, for, for
everyone really is that theylive in these worlds of
extremes.
So it's like all one way or allthe other, and there's no,
(27:20):
there's no flow as you call it,or no balance as I call it,
there's no middle ground.
And I always feel like themiddle, as, as like in Buddhism,
they say the middle path is thebest path.
It's like the middle way, thatbalance.
If you think about the yin andthe yang symbol, being in the
middle of that and having thebalance of the both.
Is the best place to be.
And it's where the most magichappens.
And it's where the mostfulfillment comes from, but so
(27:41):
many people live in theseextreme worlds.
And I find that a lot with myclients, a lot of my clients,
when they start the journey withme, they're all or nothing
people they're like all in oneverything, or they're just like
doing like the bare minimum,they're doing nothing.
And I think you need to strikethat flow as you call it, or
that balance to, to, to feelmore fulfilled and to feel more
joy and happiness and freedomand harmony and all of those
(28:02):
kinds of higher state.
Emotions, you need to, you needto have that balance and you,
you kind of nailed it and youalluded to it.
It's like, that's anothermisconception.
People think balance is 50, 50,but it could be 90, 10, it could
be eight to 20.
It could be 60 40 and that's thesame with a relationship and
you, you could be like operatingat 20%.
(28:24):
If your husband's operating at80%, you're balanced and you're
helping each other out.
And, and so, yeah, you, it's notalways 50 50, but getting
yourself towards a more balancedway of life, I think is one of
the keys to fulfillment and alsoto presence because so many
people in the modern world,they're not present.
They're like.
And this is where all those,those problems come from, as you
(28:46):
know, from working in mentalhealth, like anxiety, worry,
fear, depression, all of thesekind of quote unquote negative
states, they come from, from notbeing present and not being
balanced because they're,they're either regretful about
things that have happened in thepast that they can't change, or
they're too busy worrying oranxious about the future,
(29:08):
creating a story that, as weknow, probably will never even
happen.
Right.
So you need to be aware thatyou're, you're going to have
loads of thoughts.
I think we have 50 to 60, 000thoughts or something crazy.
That's a ridiculous amount.
That's insane.
And it's crazy.
But then I also read recentlythat they've kind of.
(29:29):
There's been studies done toshow that like a high percentage
of them, I think it's like 60%,it's really high 60 or 65
percent and negative thoughts.
So you're having like 50, 000thoughts and like most of them
are like negative thoughtsbecause as human beings, we're
wired up more towards anegativity bias.
And the reason for that is, isbecause we're kind of wired up
to survive, like our primaryfunction in life is to survive
(29:49):
and not die.
So, You have to do your verybest to, it starts off with
controlling your thoughts, no,it starts off with being aware
of them, like, yes, okay, I'vegot this thought going on in my
head and I'm thinking thiscertain thing, but then
beginning to control yourthoughts, and then you can get
to like, I wouldn't say it's theultimate level, but you can get
(30:10):
to a level where you begin torealize that you're not your
thoughts.
Your thoughts are just a thingand you aren't actually there.
That's not who Ali is.
That's not who Whitney is.
That's not who your listenersare.
You're not your thoughts, but somany people, they get attached
onto their thoughts and they lettheir thinking rule their life.
And that's why a lot of the timewith my clients, I say like, go
(30:31):
back to your heart.
Like I try and bring them intotheir heart because.
The heart is way more powerful.
And this isn't like airy fairyspirituality stuff.
This is science as well.
Your heart is way more powerfulthan your brain, like your heart
waves.
I think they can go like, uh, 10to 15 feet and your brain waves
only go like five to eight feetor something like that.
I don't, people need to factcheck me on that.
Don't take what I say, but it'saround those kinds of kind of
(30:54):
measurements.
So like your heart is, is likepowerful and we kind of ignore
our heart and we, we don't trustit.
And I'm not saying forget yourmind and not use your mind
because your mind is superpowerful and you should use it
and you should work oncultivating a growth mindset,
but also like don't let thosenegative thoughts consume you
because the negative thoughtsand those limiting beliefs and
(31:15):
that self doubt and kind of thatmonkey mind that are going to
derail you from, from again,living a purposeful, fulfilling,
fulfilling life.
Life and living your dreams.
Awesome.
Yeah, 100%.
Like, you basically said it all.
Like, I, I love thisconversation that we're having
because I know That one,everything that you're saying in
(31:40):
the, in the like processes, areso similar to something I've
used that I've seen results onthat side.
So I know that your clients mustbe loving you, you know?
And also like, I feel like youcould totally write a book about
this too, you know?
Yeah, well, it's on the agendaamongst other things.
I'd love to, I used to have apodcast when I had my gym.
(32:03):
And I'd love to like, get backto podcasting again and, and
creating a YouTube and writing abook.
So they're, they're in thepipeline.
But as I said earlier, likefocusing on one or one, maybe 1.
5 things at a time and not dotoo much.
Not every day.
Absolutely.
It could all, it could go into abook.
And I also, we've not reallytouched much on my story, but I
(32:24):
often think like.
My story could probably make agood book as well, especially
like the gym years, because mywife and I running that business
went through so many kind of upsand downs and challenges and
setbacks.
And you could say like traumaticmoments, but I always say, and
we always say me and my wife, wewouldn't have changed those five
and a half years for the worldbecause they taught us so much.
(32:48):
about business and people, butmore importantly, they taught us
so much about ourselves and itkind of galvanized mine and
Sarah's relationship and madeus, super resilient.
We often say, like, you'llstruggle to meet two people that
are more resilient than us.
And I think a lot of thatresilience was put to the test
last year as well because, inJuly last year we were caught up
(33:09):
in Hurricane Beryl, on theisland of Karaku, yeah, so
Karaku is an island that belongsto Grenada, and we were there at
the time in July, and it was arecord breaking Category 4
hurricane, and the house that wewere in, the roof was ripped
off, and we were like, and wewere In the bathroom, pressed
against the door with like stuffflying everywhere.
And it was just like, it wascatastrophic and it was really
(33:32):
traumatizing.
And it was like a, it was likesuch a harrowing kind of moment
for both of our lives, butafter, and like, once we kind of
got through the aftermath of it,we both said like all the stuff
we've been through, but also allthe work that we've done on
ourselves had almost prepared usfor that moment because we had
the faith that we were going tosurvive and everything was going
to be all right.
We kept positive, even though itwas like.
(33:53):
The scariest thing I've everbeen through or we've ever been
through.
And then we came out of theother side and we live to tell
the tale and it's made usstronger again.
So I think a lot of people, thisis another kind of thing to add
in.
A lot of people, they're scaredto like take risk or scared to
go after their dreams or scaredto make changes because they're
worried of like the, what if, orlike, what if it doesn't work
(34:15):
out?
What if it fails?
What if I succeed?
Like there's so many kind ofdifferent stories and narratives
that they play over in theirhead.
But you always.
You always learn from these kindof making changes and stepping
out of your comfort zone.
And then when the bad stuffhappens to you, your challenges,
and when you're at rock bottomor close to rock bottom, that to
me is like when the mostopportunities are for growth.
(34:39):
And when you experiencesomething like.
Your business failing or gettingcaught up in a hurricane or you
end in a long term relationshipor you start in a new business
Or someone close to you passesaway This is when you have the
most opportunity to take thelessons and grow and I truly
believe that that's We, I oftenspeak about purpose, but I truly
(35:00):
believe that that's whatpeople's purposes are when, from
the moment they're born intothis world to the moment they
live, leave.
I truly believe that purpose isto grow every single day and
learn about themselves so thatthey can, again, without
sounding airy fairy, exit theworld, a better version or not a
version that I don't like thatword, a better human being than
(35:20):
when they came in.
I love that.
That's what I truly believe.
Yeah, I mean, I was, I wasliterally about to ask you what
your most chaotic moment is andwhat you learned from it, but I
think, like, surviving ahurricane is probably the most
chaotic story we've heard so faron the podcast.
Yeah, that's up there.
That and, when we started thebusiness, I, had a, the business
(35:43):
partner that I started the gymwith turned out to be a con man.
He was a legitimate con man.
Like, you know, you see thesedocumentaries on Netflix, like
where these women are gettingswindled by con men and stuff.
And I can, and people often saylike, how could they fall for
that?
How can they get done by that?
I got done by it.
Me and my wife got done by it.
Like a legitimate con man.
(36:04):
We started the business togetherand he, before the business had
even really got started, healmost ran it into the ground
financially.
He made so many bad decisionsand ultimately in the first
year, this was 2017, the firstyear of the business, we had to
seek legal action to kind oflike get him out of the
business.
And by the end of 2017, we we'dmanaged to like Part ways with
(36:28):
him and then me and my wife forthe, for 2018, 19, 2021, and
then, nine months of 2022, we,we ran the business together and
then the back end of 2018, wetook on a, like a silent
investor business partner.
So, yeah, so the hurricane andhaving a con man as a business
partner, probably like the twomost chaotic things in the last,
(36:49):
I'd say the last decade of mylife.
Oh my god, you are definitelywinning the like the most
chaotic moment stories.
That's insane.
I mean, I'm glad that you're nolonger in that situation, but
that's yeah, wow, that's insane.
Yeah, it is crazy.
But also, I look at these, Ithink everyone has these moments
(37:12):
that you can label them or callthem whatever you want.
Like one of Once, one personwhose podcast I went on a couple
of times before I left the UK,he calls them sledgehammer
moments and some people callthem domino moments or, or like,
you can call them life changingmoments or character
development, developmentmoments, whatever you want to
label them.
But if you look at your life andyou take a snapshot of your
(37:33):
life, we all have them.
I'm going to be 38 this year.
So if I look back at the 38years of my life, I'll probably
have like, Between five andeight, like really critical
sledgehammer moments or dominomoments where I can say, okay,
that was a huge moment in mylife.
Some good, some bad, or someamazing, some challenging.
But they're kind of like thesignificant moments in my life
(37:53):
and we can all have these, butit's how we like put them into
context and how we use them togrow and be a better human
being.
And I've always, especially forthe last 10 years, because my
personal growth journey reallyproperly started in 2015 and
that's a whole nother story onits own, but I went to Sedona,
probably not far from you,Sedona in Arizona.
(38:14):
Yeah.
I went to Sedona.
And, I had like a life changingexperience in Sedona.
I guess you could only label itas a spiritual awakening.
And from that day on, like mypersonal growth journey just
kind of accelerated and my wholelife, I would say just like went
on an upwards trajectory.
And we all have these momentsand it's how we, how we use them
to our, to our benefit and usethem to grow and become better.
(38:38):
So I never see these for a lotof people, if you said hurricane
to them or the business almostfailing or having a con man as a
business partner.
These kinds of things, they'd belike, Oh my God, that's the
worst thing that could happen.
But I look back at them and I'mgrateful for them.
I'm grateful that they happenedbecause they've made me a better
Ali, they've made me a betterhuman being.
And this is how we should lookat any kind of setbacks,
(39:00):
challenges, traumatic moments inour life.
We, we often categorize them or,or label them as, as like really
negative moments, but don't begrateful for them and take the
lessons from them.
And the past.
I would say the past is alwaysyour teacher or your guide.
It should never be your master.
(39:22):
Your past is not your master.
It's your teacher or your guide.
Let it guide you and teach you.
Be present and then still haveeyes on the, on the future.
So I'm all for being present,but I still have my own vision.
I still dream.
I still have the same kind ofthing with my clients.
I help them to visualize, I helpthem to create a three, five,
seven, 10 year vision for thefuture.
(39:43):
And I have the same for myself,but I don't like, I don't get
fixated on the vision or the endgoal.
And I don't get fixated on thequote unquote bad stuff that's
happened to me in the past.
I'd try and remain present whilehaving that vision and letting
my past.
Be my, be my guide and be myteacher.
Awesome.
Okay.
(40:04):
So before we start wrapping up,is there any kind of like last
minute messages you want to sendout to our listeners if they're
listening to this and all thisis resonating with them?
Yeah, I think we can, it wouldbe a boring podcast if we just
left it as, and just said thisone thing, but we can categorize
pretty much everything that I'vesaid today into one thing.
(40:25):
And it ultimately boils down toworking on yourself first.
taking care of yourself first.
And this is again, a bigproblem.
And it's a problem that I hadfor 27, 28 years of my life is
that I'd often put other peoplebefore myself.
And it became a detriment to myown self.
(40:48):
It became a detriment to my ownphysical, mental, emotional,
spiritual well being.
And I think one of the biggesttakeaways that I got from that
kind of awakening that I had inSedona was that I needed to take
care of myself and put myselffirst because this is going to
be the best way to grow.
And since 2016, I've said thesame affirmation to myself every
(41:08):
single day.
And it's that before I can, sothe actual full affirmation is.
Right now, I'm so happy andgrateful that before I can
support others, I must learn howto nurture myself.
Right now, I'm so happy andgrateful that before I can
support others, I must learn howto nurture myself.
So, that's all about puttingmyself first and looking after
(41:30):
myself first, because if you dothat as an individual, as a
parent, as a business owner, asan employee, as whatever, if you
do that, then you are going tobe able to help and serve others
as the best.
best you as the truest you asthe most authentic you and
you're going to be able tonavigate.
Life with a lot more grace andease.
(41:51):
So ultimately my kind of finalparting message is to put
yourself first and look afteryourself first, and then you can
live the best life possible.
And when I say that to people, Ioften get the rebuttal that all
that's selfish, but it's not,it's selfless putting yourself
first is the most selfless thingyou can ever do in your life.
(42:12):
I love that.
I have like a little funnythings in my head when you were
saying that, like one, I lovedeverything that you're saying,
but in the back of my head, likemy mom joke side is like, Oh,
that's why they say, put yourair mask on you before your
children and airplanes, youknow?
Exactly.
Exactly.
That's it.
That's that you've nailed it.
Yeah.
And it's like, that's exactlyit.
(42:34):
You put your mask on first andyou do it to someone else
because if you're dead.
Or if you're not operating atyour best level, how the hell
can you expect to serve and helppeople?
And that, that goes for everyonethat goes for you, your husband,
your partner, your wife,whatever it goes for your kids.
Awesome.
Okay.
So last question is how can ourlisteners connect with you?
(42:58):
Yeah, easy.
The best way to find me on allsocial media platforms is Ali
West coach.
And I think on Tik TOK, it mightbe coach Ali West.
So if you search Ali West coachon Instagram, LinkedIn,
Facebook, and then if you searchcoach Ali West on Tik TOK,
you'll find me.
Every single day to not so muchto Facebook, but to Instagram,
(43:20):
TikTok and LinkedIn.
I post every single day on thereand people can also subscribe to
my newsletter people can justsend me a direct message on any
of those platforms and I'll sendthem the link to join my
newsletter.
And I send out three.
Emails per week.
And they're just like packedfull of kind of tips, hacks,
(43:42):
information, what's going on inmy life, how you can live a more
purposeful and fulfilling lifeand all that kind of stuff that
we've spoken about today.
So, yeah, but if it's just forconnecting Ali West coach on all
platforms.
Awesome.
Yeah, I will put all the linksdown in the show notes, for all
your social medias so yeah,we'll add that all in.
Amazing.
Thank you so much.
(44:02):
Thank you so much for coming onand having this conversation.
Oh, you're welcome.
You're welcome.
I appreciate it.
That's a wrap on another episodeof Caffeinated Chaos.
I hope you're leaving with alittle more clarity, a lot more
inspiration, and maybe even anextra shot of motivation.
If you loved today's episode,don't forget to follow us, leave
(44:23):
a review, and share it with afriend who could use just a
little chaos and caffeine intheir life.
Until next time, keep embracingthe mess, chase your dreams, and
make magic happen.
One caffeinated, chaotic momentat a time.
I will see you all soon.
Bye now.