Childproof
Parenting is hard, but it's even harder when you feel alone and have only the sounds of Cocomelon to keep you company. Childproof is a parenting chat show for when you’re craving adult conversation. As parents to three kids each, co-hosts Gwenna Laithland and Tori Phantom have been there. They know that sometimes our kids are the ones on the verge of a tantrum, and that sometimes it’s us. Childproof attempts to figure out the dos, don’ts, and f*ck its of modern parenthood. From yelling at your kids (we’ve all done it) to finding a sleep schedule that doesn’t ruin your life, Gwenna and Tori share the challenges they’ve faced and the lessons they’ve learned, and are eager to share their experiences through a mix of one-on-one conversations, guest appearances, and input from listeners revealing their own parenting secrets. Clearly, we could use some help from everyone and their mother.
Episodes
Is your kid ready to watch Deadpool? Good news. That’s your call. Bad news. We probably won’t help very much in deciding. This episode Tori and Gwenna discuss ways we think about media, movies, music, books, and internet for our kids. When are they old enough to understand what they are looking at? How do you know when a movie isn’t going to give them nightmares? Can movies teach about empathy? We aren’t discussing censorship. We a...
Where do you keep your deodorant? If the answer is something reasonable like bathroom or gym bag… this episode might sound odd. Cuz we keep our deodorant in the kitchen. Today on childproof we’re playing a little This or That. Did you grow up in an ingredient house or a snack house? What about now? Was your family a “everyone in their rooms” group or were you a “everyone hangs out in communal spaces” fam? Gwenna and Tori discuss ho...
It’s finally here. The announcement we’ve been teasing. The news we’ve been itching to share. The thing we’ve been working on for months. Two brand new podcasts from the Pleasant Phantom Network: Founded by Tori Phantom and Bibliophage from Gwenna Laithland. To introduce you to both ideas, this episode of Childproof is basically a three-for-one special as we examine Rebellion 1776 by Laurie Halse Anderson, a historical fiction book...
Welcome to summer. School is out. It’s hot. The chorus of I’m bored has begun. But let’s be honest. It’s not just the kids who get bored. Parents get bored too. We just aren’t allowed to complain about it as loudly. On this episode of Childproof Tori and Gwenna discuss how they cope with their own boredom and teach kids how to be bored while doing it. From hobby collections to dreaming up group activities, bored boring boredom is n...
Tori gave Gwenna a minisode to discuss books versus movies because they desperately needed to hear more on the subject after the timer went off. Timerless time well spent.
Did you like hearing Gwenna talk about books and want to hear more? Let us know childproofmail@gmail.com
Did you catch that bit at the end?
Nostalgia always hits different. It’s even weirder when you start sharing the staples of your past with the next generation. Does Ferngully still hold up? (Spoiler: Tim Curry always holds up.) In this episode of Childproof, Tori and Gwenna discuss how much of our childhoods translate well to our children’s. From TV shows to movies, playground games to books, we tackle the “Accepted not acceptable” duality of the 80s, 90s, and even ...
We are responsive parents. Not perfect ones. In this episode of Childproof Tori and Gwenna tackle some of their less than stellar moments, discuss the glories of apologies, and recount some of their wilder moments of total disregulation. Hate getting interrupted? Us too. Triggered by feeling ignored? Same. Feel destructive and overstimulated by a toy? Mood.
We are not perfect parents. We are people doing our best. It’s cool to acce...
Did you ever think you’d miss Baby Shark? Because you might miss Baby Shark…This episode is a little bit of everything. Some emails, some listener submissions, some topics that we want to talk about but wouldn’t be enough for a whole episode.
Be sure to check out the mini-minisode because the timer rudely interrupted Tori’s Benjamin Rush rant.Also books, and merch, and all those things you need to know about in link form.
We want to...
Tori won a bet and got to talk about whatever they wanted to for five whole minutes and Gwenna had to pretend to be interested. Then there was a surprising plot twist. Gwenna was so interested that now there's an entire minisode so Tori could finish their story.
Did you enjoy hearing about Benjamin Rush, do you want to hear more? Let us know childproofmail@gmail.com
Big exciting surprise coming soon.
Making friends as a kid seemed hard when Gwenna and Tori were kids. Turns out it was way easier to make friends as kids as it is to make friends as moms. Also, it’s good to note, sometimes we don’t need to improve the system. Writing a note “Will you be my friend, check yes or no” still feels like a valid approach. This week we discuss making friends, keeping friends, and the difference between in-person and virtual villages.
L...
We resume discussion of the Surviving Summer. It doesn’t have to suck. There are ways to make it fun for everyone without breaking the bank. Lots and lots of things to do to keep the kids engaged, out of brain rot mode, and not driving you bonkers with boredom. We go over a few ideas. Plus, Gwenna made a complete summer survival guide as a free download! Check it out if you’re out of ideas or if your idea generator is tired. We got...
Summertime is nearly upon us. Closer for some than others but the school year is wrapping up and these kids are about to be home all day. Every day. Why are summers so hard for parents? Tori and Gwenna try to deconstruct why summers kinda suck and discuss a few ways to make them suck a little less. At least that’s what they try to do. They get distracted. A lot.
What are your favorite summer activities? Do you stay busy or go w...
Today’s episode of the Childproof Podcast is diving back into our email box and comment sections to hear what you have to say. We beg you to email us all the time and it only feels fair that we share with the rest of the class. If you have a question, comment, or idea for the show please email us at childproofmail@gmail.com or leave us a comment. This episode is proof we do actually read them just like we said.
And we can’t hone...
American cheese may or may not be food. Blue is a flavor. As is purple. Cosplayers and Sports Fans are basically the same. Raisins are definitely not food. There is crying in the zombie apocalypse. These are the hills we shall defend until the bitter end. And this episode makes no sense. We’re not going to pretend otherwise. Enjoy. And be sure to email us to argue about any of these hills we are willing to lay down up to defend. We...
We know we have to let our kids mess up. We have to let them learn. Sometimes we have to let them learn the hard way. They mess up and they have to find out. This episode of Childproof covers just what it takes when we have to take a step back and let our kids find out.
Disclaimer: Sensitive viewers & listeners take note, death, dying, grieving, pet loss, family loss, and funerals are mentioned and discussed in this episode....
What happens when two sarcastic people make children together? You end up with a kid who is genetically built to be sarcastic. That’s what. Ask us how we know. This episode we are talking kid jokes, learning time and place, how sarcasm can still be empathetic, and then more kid jokes. We like kid jokes.
Merch: Click Here
Tori's History Series: Click HereFind Gwenna's new book, "The Soul's Guide to the After Death...
Being a twenty-first century parent is a lot. You have to find time for yourself while prioritizing yourself. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Take care of yourself. Be yourself. But how are you supposed to do that when these kids rely on you for almost everything. How do you find time to be yourself, or even remember who you are while parenting? The answer: we don’t know but here’s a few things we do just for us - ways we try to ...
Sometimes you gotta do it anxious. There’s a difference between feeling anxious and living with anxiety. No matter what level of anxious you feel, you still have to parent and adult and work and live. This episode we discuss how anxiety impacts us, how we help our kids process their anxiety, and how anxiety isn’t all bad all the time.
We want to hear from you, email us: Childproofmail@gmail.com
Youtube: Click Here
Your kid is sick. Is it time for an ice pack and a nap? Or is it doctor time? When do you give Tylenol? Is Motrin safe for babies? Did I do something that got my kid lice? What do you mean my kid can’t wear their coat in their car seat? Parents hit up Google a lot. This episode of Childproof dives a little deeper and provides real-time parenting insight to some of the most common reasons parents find themselves in Dr. Google’s wait...
We like to read. We really like to read. Books have been a constant companion of both Tori and Gwenna and we are working on passing that love of reading on. It’s a slower process that we expected with some of our kids. Others jumped right in. This episode we discuss how we help our kids choose books, series they love, series we love, and how we find time as parents to read. (Spoiler: Mostly audiobooks and pickup line time.)
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