April 8, 2025 • 24 mins
Josh aka Bearded_Nova
I'm from Australia and am what you would call a father who games. I have 5 kids so not as much time to game as I used to. But I still game and stream when I can. So come join me on Twitch in chat as we chill out.
Business Inquiries: Bearded-n0va@aussiebb.com.au
Josh aka Moorph
I'm a US-based husband and father of two boys. I work full-time and have been a content creator since 2000. I'm a YouTube partner, Twitch and LiveSpace streamer who founded a content creation coaching company called Elev8d Media Group (elev8d.media). I'm a blogger, streamer, podcaster, and video-er(?).
Business Inquiries: josh@elev8d.media
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Turning off normal human male mode.
Switching to dad mode.
Welcome in to dad mode Withyour hosts Bearded, Nova and
Morph.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Oh my god, my older boy.
He suddenly became like a miniadult.
It's really weird.
He's acting all responsible.
We had some of my younger son'sfriends came over, yeah, and he
volunteered to make the lunchfor them, yeah, and he's like
reminding me to do things.
(00:36):
Um, it's, it's.
I'm like who are you?
Where did this come from it?
It's it started slowly over thepast like few months, but all of
a sudden, like I'm starting tosee all of the signs of it now
and I don't know like he wantsto do more adult things, like
(00:58):
with me, like he's only 13, butI decided to teach him how to
drive anyway, like not in theroad, like parking lots and
stuff, just to get hang of it.
And like we go someplace.
He's like I want to get acoffee like you.
Or it's like I want to go getsushi instead of like a
hamburger at mcdonald's.
You know like, yeah, he wantsto do like all this adult stuff
now and it's like, oh, okay,that's yeah, cool, I guess.
(01:22):
So I I don't, I don't know like, have your kids, did they like,
did they have this?
All of a sudden, they wereacting mature or have.
I'm assuming this.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
I do find that it's it's something that you can't,
you can't prepare for it.
Just, it's like a light switchrandomly turns on.
You know, someone's just goingto their brain and flicked a
little switch.
It's like, oh fuck, sorry, weforgot to turn this on a few
years ago, right, yeah, andyou've got this whole different.
I want to say it is.
It's completely different,child for a sense, for a bit,
(01:52):
but it's not permanent.
That's that's the part I findthey still.
It's like, it's like a faultywire that's in there every so
often it just flickers off for asecond.
There's the dumb ass.
I know like.
Yeah, like we talked about agesago, teenagers their brains
ain't completely wide.
When they're going through theteenage period, the chemistry in
their head's a bit off.
(02:13):
Everything makes them thinkstupid and they do a lot of
stupid stuff without evenrealising it.
And it's weird when it gets tothis maturity part, because it's
like a flow between, a flowbetween both.
So they do something reallygreat and responsible and the
next thing they follow it upwith something stupid and you're
like what is going on?
Who is this person that you cando this but you can't do?
(02:35):
Right?
You're able to, you know, be soresponsible and help her out
and do this or do something likethat.
And then next thing you knowthey go and do something stupid
that you're like why would youdo that?
Speaker 2 (02:45):
like, yeah, yes, I can see that, like, like I said,
he's showing all these signs ofbeing responsible and I'm
recognizing it for him because Iknow it's important to him.
But then he does, he does, hedoes a kid thing again.
And then I'm like, oh yeah,yeah, you're still 13, he's the
same height as me now, right,but you know, I I get, so that
throws me off a little bit too,because he's getting so tall.
(03:07):
Yeah, but you know, I'm like,oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's
right, you're still.
You're still like you were.
Speaker 3 (03:12):
You weren't a teenager till like eight months
or six months ago, exactly andthe 13 year old actually went to
the movies on 12, turning 13.
She went to the moviesyesterday with her friends no
adults like dropped off at the,the mall, the shopping center.
They went to the grocery storethat's in the shopping center,
(03:33):
brought you know lollies andstuff, shoved it in their bags,
watched what is apparently theworst movie at the moment snow
white um and then went and hadlunch afterwards.
So they're out there for Idon't know four or five hours by
themselves.
The shops are very differentand and I realized that like
looking like it all gettingplanned and organized and going.
(03:55):
So where did this child comefrom?
Speaker 2 (03:57):
she's growing up all of a sudden very growing up, all
of a sudden, that she is doingthis more adult, teenager, adult
, adult-like day, I guess wouldbe the best way to put it, it
reminds me of what we said Idon't know a few episodes ago,
where, by the time they're what18 or 16 or something like you
spent like 80 or 90% of the timeyou'll ever spend with them, or
(04:18):
something like that.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
Yeah, yeah, it just really makes it.
But I went out yesterdaybecause I had a 40th to go to
and I didn't see like the pickupor anything like that or hear
how the how the day went.
So I was asking the wife lastnight when I got home how to go.
She goes, oh yeah, one of theother ladies, one of the other
mums dropped them off and shegot a couple of photos of them
(04:40):
and that and it's realizinggirls socially are very
different to boys socially.
I never noticed it growing up.
Obviously girls at one stage,but their social circles are
very different so they tend topair off.
Girls do so they'll go.
Oh yeah, that's, that's like myone friend and then that's it.
(05:03):
That's, you know, we doeverything together, whereas
boys can handle more of a groupsituation, like kind of jump in
between friends, like you got agroup of friends, but then you
know that you can.
You, it doesn't have to be thesame friend that you hang out
with all the time.
It's go, I can rotate and I can.
You know, I go with justin.
Then next, next weekend, I'mgonna hang out with sam, or I'll
(05:23):
hang out with Justin and Sam,or fuck Justin, or Dave's coming
over.
You know what I mean.
Like it rotates, girls, it'svery much.
You know this is my friend.
Oh crap, she's not there.
This is whole weird.
Now what do I?
How do I handle?
And so she's going out withthree other friends, right, and
this photo that the wife showedme.
It was very clear to see thepairing up, because imagine four
(05:46):
girls standing together for agroup photo but with like the
space of a person in between.
It goes two, two, space for oneperson, two, but then the twos
are actually dressed similar toeach other.
It's like they coordinatedoutfits.
So it's like is it really justtwo friends, like a friend and a
(06:06):
friend going out together, andthen they're caught up with
another friend and a friend likeyou could really see, right,
it's like it looked fuckingawkward, given the fact that
I've just come back from a 40th,and in a couple of people
they're like oh, I want to get agroup photo.
And you got friends that I'vebeen with 25, 30 years, that
I've known, and everyone's justarm and arm around each other.
It's a normal smile photo.
And then I've been with 25, 30years that I've known and
everyone's just arm and armaround each other.
It's a normal smile photo.
(06:27):
And then I've come home andlooked at this group photo of my
daughters and it's like that'snot really a group photo, like
what's going on.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
It's like those other two people just photobombed you
or something yeah, it was justreally.
Speaker 3 (06:38):
It was like you can see the awkwardness in this
photo.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
I'm like, okay, yeah, this is, it's cute but it's
like awkward guys don't like Ithink we just don't care quite
as much.
Like friend relations are justdifferent.
Like like my wife last week.
You know, I'm going to friendlike oh, how's his wife and kids
?
I'm like, I don't know, likealive.
I guess he probably would havetold me if they were dead.
Yeah, yeah.
And like, or I'll have friendswhere I call them good friends.
(07:04):
I don't talk to them for ninemonths we pick up and I talk
again like nothing happened.
Yeah, that was about the same.
Speaker 3 (07:10):
The conversation continues just like it was
yesterday Just spoke.
It didn't really matter thatthere's been a.
There's been a gap for so long.
I think we were talking thisyear cause it's the year of the
forties in one fucking year.
Right, we might catch up ahandful of times in a year, but
(07:31):
not, you know, every couple ofweeks.
They're kind of and it's weirdbecause you, because we've
gotten used to getting thatolder, having that longer break
in between, so it might be threemonths or six months between
seeing each other.
Yeah, when you have a catch upat a, at a party or a barbecue
or a gathering, you do the whole.
What's going on.
Yeah, this is about to go onthe, the job, the family and I
go through blah, blah, blah.
(07:51):
And of course, we've gotFacebook.
You can see what's happening.
We're old people.
That is really.
My social media is Facebook tokeep up to date with what
everyone's doing.
I never got onto Instagram, butyou know we do that catch-up.
Now we're catching up every twoweeks.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
It's really running low on material to talk about
when you've just finished doingthe catch-up, like this is a
yeah, yeah, okay, but I thinkit's like it's that's more of a
guy thing because, like, I thinkwomen just see they just have
more because they get into moredetails than we do.
Yeah, you know, like we talkabout kids because that's what
this show is about, but, likeyou know, like I have plenty of
other friends who have kids, Idon't ever ask them about their
kids and they don't ask me aboutmine because, honestly, nobody
(08:39):
cares, you know last night, this40th, there was actually a lot
of kids.
Speaker 3 (08:44):
I didn't take any of the kids, they stayed home and
even the wife stayed home.
But there was a lot of kids atthis 40th, to the point that,
like I, I shuddered when Ilooked in the room where all the
kids were hanging out in thekids' room.
I'm like, oh God, like shit,it's a mess.
There is party.
It was full on.
And I want to say it wasbecause it wasn't.
(09:06):
It was my friend's 40th, butalso his wife's 40th.
It was my friend's 40th, butalso his wife's 40th.
So they joined together.
So she had all her friends andtheir kids.
They were more open to bringingaway more kids than what my
friends were.
My friends were just kind oflike down the back corner of the
yard near a fire and you couldsee that divide in different
(09:26):
personalities.
They did a cake and a speechand then we're standing around
awkwardly like, is this for shit?
Don't know?
We meant to.
Is someone one of us meant todo a speech for him like, where
was this?
Speaker 2 (09:37):
right, yeah, yeah, those kind of situations are
awkward anyway, you know, I'venever enjoyed, you know, like
big things, like speeches likethat stuff, like that, where you
have to do impromptu.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
It's not my thing no, just just, I'm good, leave it,
but yeah, it's, it just showsthat awkwardness of going from
the teenagers to adults.
That's very still similar.
How that, how that, how theywork, that the social dynamic
works, even like the other day,when I want to say it was
thursday last week we yeah,we're talking about starbucks is
(10:10):
opening across the road fromyou know, 200 yards from my
house, and it's finally open.
So we had to send.
And because all the kids' busesactually get dropped off right
next to Starbucks, 7-elevensubway it's like okay, they're
going to want to go there in theafternoon and one friend just
jumped off the bus, just wentstraight into, was straight into
(10:31):
there with her friends.
They got I don't know like afrappe or something, chocolate
milk, then went to 7-Eleven, gotsome Krispy Kremes and, like
you know, they had a niceafternoon.
The other daughter came homewith a friend and they actually
drove no, she actually no gotoff the bus.
Then they walked from the bus,which is right next to the place
(10:52):
, home in the rain, because it'sbeen raining here a lot, and
then they got dropped their bagsoff and then walked all the way
back there to get their foodand then bring it what?
Speaker 2 (11:04):
yeah, why, why?
Why did you just go straightthere like which but's just
aren't you?
Aren't you more soaked withrain?
Speaker 3 (11:12):
now, exactly I was I was so confused by all of it.
But you know, that was anotherthing.
Getting that age, it's like,okay, cool, gotta give him money
to go hang out.
I don't, I don't.
I never remember going hangingout at a coffee shop when I was,
but that's the thing now.
Oh, that's, that's that's.
Yeah, you know how the worldhas become and everything's
changed.
That's that's the thing now.
Oh, that's, that's that's.
Yeah, you know how the worldhas become and everything's
(11:32):
changed.
That's that's.
Tv, I guess, probably, probablyspread that up.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
That's a cool thing to do, and that yeah, I remember
in my mid to late teens hangingout at like all night diners
and just buying cups of coffeeuntil, because they wouldn't
kick you out, but like yeah,yeah, otherwise, like I don't
know I don't know.
Speaker 3 (11:54):
So yeah, I'm watching .
There's a car across thedriveway and there's like the
space where she normally parks.
There's another car over thisside.
Car across the driveway saysthe car space there and she's
learning.
Perfect opportunity to do areverse parallel park.
Yeah, no, it didn't happen.
See, it looks like they've justdriven up the street and parked
up the other end of the street.
I was just watching that Holdon, this is going to play out
(12:18):
and then, yeah, let's go back tothe learn.
I'm going to just shift off thematurity thing and just over to
update on learning to drivesituation.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
Yeah, I swear my daughter just wants to kill me.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
Oh because it's like a thousand miles an hour with
you.
Like every second or third timethat we're in the car we have
like a near miss experience ofan accident.
And it's, yeah, weirdly enough,like around me there's tons of
roundabouts, tons, but they'reall simple, just for just
four-way roundabout, likenothing complex roundabout,
they're just all usuallydouble-lane roundabouts, pretty
(12:57):
straightforward.
So she should be pretty good atgetting through roundabouts
nowadays, yeah, but every timewe do a roundabout situation she
actually just drives through asa car's coming the opposite way
to like cut, path, cut, yeah,and then I'm on the stop, stop,
stop, stop, stop situation oflike what the fuck is going on.
(13:19):
But then I talked to my wife.
I got home we had anothernear-death experience.
She almost went through to thecar.
Yeah, car almost came throughthe side of us and my wife goes
oh, that never happens with me.
Then you take her, that's, whyis it?
And I mean you know, I've beentold that my wife's oh, that
never happens with me.
Then you take her.
That's, why is it?
And I mean you know, I've beentold that my wife's more on that
you're speeding, you're doingthis, you're doing that, you're
doing that me.
I like to try to try and take amore casual approach, or just
sit back and let her drive andthen just stop her when she
(13:41):
needs to, you know almost killme and she's done like I think
I'm more chilled.
Is she more stressed?
When I'm in the car at themoment, I don't know, maybe she
just doesn't like me and wantsto put a car for me I don't know
right.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
So I have taken my kid out a couple times a few
times now to go driving and Idecided to let him drive.
It's not a real.
In my opinion.
It's not a real road, but it'slike a road that goes from one
school to the other like, yeah,but I think it's called a lane
or whatever.
So it's not a regular road.
Yeah, so I'm like, are you sure?
I'm like, yeah, go on there.
And then I'm like turn and pullinto that that park by that car
(14:18):
or by that truck.
And he's turning.
I'm like you're, you'resteering at the truck, like I'm
the don't park at it.
So then he goes, and he didn't.
He's like, oh, and so he'sgoing around there, parks, at a
complete angle.
I'm like what are you doing?
Well, and he's like, oh, let mejust put it in reverse.
It starts to go.
I'm like you're not lookingbehind you, and the whole time
(14:39):
that's what I'm thinking.
But in my brain I'm like, hey,just slow down because he's
freaking out.
Yeah, so I have to be now.
It's gonna be worse for him.
But you know, I definitely sawmy life flashing before my eyes,
or like I saw we go back to theparking lot where we started
and I go, go pull in over thereand there's another car kind of
(15:02):
sitting weirdly in the parkinglot and I realized there's
another parent teaching theirkid how to drive.
Yeah, and I go park back there.
He's driving, right for it.
He's like, no, I want to parkup here, but he's, he's right at
them and I'm about to like lean, leap over and like press the
gas, the brake with my hand.
Yeah, then he finally stopped.
He's like I just wanted to parkhere.
Speaker 3 (15:21):
I'm like, get, get, we're done the lesson's over,
get out, you know I it's stillscitizen because she's only,
let's just say, two monthsalmost, we'll say three, we'll
say go extra, sorry, threemonths of actually having her
license and being able to drivea car herself.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
No-transcript really she's already had, she has a
license.
You're still getting them, so Idon't.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
I don't know why it happens to me.
I don't really don't know why,but it really concerns me for
once.
She gets that license and is isout there by herself her,
permit her learner's thing right, yeah, yeah yeah, okay, yeah,
because she's on her learner'snow.
So she has to be with a, with aadult.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
Yeah 100 hours?
Okay, 100 hours.
What is?
Do they have any rules, likewhen they get to license, in
terms of what they can do orwhat they can't do?
Speaker 3 (16:14):
um, in my.
So this is all different fromwhen I got a license, but I
believe there is a restrictionto having passengers after a
certain hour.
I think they're allowed to haveimmediate family after such and
such time, like you know, say10 o'clock at night, and then
maybe from like 10 o'clock on,they might be allowed to have
(16:38):
one friend, but they can't havemore than one friend.
They can have like one friendand as much immediate family as
they want.
I think that's the only rule asfar as I'm concerned.
Oh, and blood alcohol,obviously you can't, can't drink
and drive with right.
So they're zero, zero.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
I was just I was just looking it up and I thought it
was more than 100 hours forcadet for connecticut, but it
says 40, which is crazy.
That's not a.
Speaker 3 (17:05):
Well, I'm sure it was similar to when you drove.
There was no hours, it was justget your learner's thing and
then, after an age thing just gofor your license.
I honestly think I did maybefive hours of driving between my
learners and getting my license.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
It was yeah, and I know there's restrictions.
Once you get it, like you weresaying, for the first year, for
the first six months you can'thave anyone except like a parent
or you know another adult inthe car.
Yeah, and then you could have asibling in the car, but you
can't have anyone else besides afamily member for like the
first year.
Yeah, which is good becauseeveryone I got mine within the
(17:42):
first 30 days I was, I got myfirst speeding ticket with four
friends in the car and now I getwhy those kind of rules exist,
because I was an idiot.
Speaker 3 (17:53):
I was just double-checking because there's
another one.
So, yeah, if you're drivingbecause we had two versions of
provisions, so you got a P1 anda P2.
And a P1, driving between 11 pmand 5 5 am, you can only carry
one passenger under 21 who isnot immediate.
Okay, that's, that's.
That's the restriction there.
The other one I find veryinteresting is they have mobile
(18:17):
phone restrictions, yeah, sothey can't use.
They can't use a mobile phoneat all, just like I don't know
what you guys like, but I knowyou can't use a mobile phone
while you're driving here, likein your hand.
You can can have Apple CarPlayor Bluetooth type of thing.
You know you're able to usethat, but you can't physically
touch the phone.
So they're not even allowed tooperate a phone under Bluetooth,
so they can't even take phonecalls while driving is a
(18:41):
restriction, even with.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
Bluetooth.
Speaker 3 (18:43):
Yeah, even with bluetooth.
Yeah, if even with bluetooth,reading that, then they must not
use phones, includinghands-free kits, bluetooth
accessories, wireless headsets,a phone's loudspeaker function.
So it's not until they get totheir second provision that
they're allowed to accept calls,use navigation apps, skip a
song, etc.
I do not know trying to thinkat all.
(19:05):
Oh, there's a, there's a highpower difference too.
Kids can't the certain carsthat power to weight ratio
they're not allowed to drive aswell.
Oh, really, yeah, it used to bejust turbos, but then they
realized there was like lots oflittle, like three-cylinder
turbo cars that made no power,that they restricted and they're
like hold on, we gotta, wegotta rethink this rule.
It's gonna be power to weightnow instead.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
Oh, I should see if that exists, because, like I'm
teaching him on my car, which isa dodge charger, you know,
eight cylinder heavy, yeah yeah,definitely wouldn't.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
Definitely wouldn't be a car that like a p player
could drive.
Yeah, right, yeah, hello.
Kids on p1 queensland I'm justdouble checking.
So they.
So once she gets it, she's on ap1, that's the one for out of
mobile for one year and then,and then, as long as she's this
stage requires the completionkind of work out what this is.
(19:55):
After a year she can then go toher next provision.
So it's like a year of restrict, harder restrictions, and then
after a year, yeah, okay, cool,she can use her next one.
And then for us, all kids haveto have, like you know, you got
your l plates on your learners.
They actually have p plates aswell, so it goes to like a.
I think it's a red one to showthat you're level one, and then
(20:18):
you you get a green one whenyou're level two.
So you still got to show yourplates that you're still a
provisional, provisional driverfor the first few years.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
It helps other drivers stay the hell away from
you when they see you on theroad yeah, and I mean I didn't
have to do any of that either.
Speaker 3 (20:35):
That was not something we we didn't have to
do we had learner plates butnever had to do the whole
provisional plate on the car.
That wasn't.
That was something that theother states used to do, and
it's only recent years thatthey've made us do it.
Yeah, up here, yeah because Igot.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
I got the day I turned 16, I went and filed, I
went and made the appointmentfor my test, which was gonna be
about two and a half monthslater, and and then I even
messed up with the test and theguy's like, yeah, you know you
pass, so it was, it was fine.
But yeah, they have no carrestrictions here, although one
one thing that's interesting isI didn't know this they can't.
So they have nighttimerestrictions, like you were
(21:10):
saying 11pm to 5am.
They can't be on the road andthat isn't lifted until they're
18, no matter what.
Speaker 3 (21:16):
Same here.
They can't get their licenseuntil 17 and then for one year.
They can't do that untilthey're 18.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
You can get it at 16 here, but but yeah, oh, my god,
I'm looking at some states thatcan.
In the in the us there arestates that say the minimum age
is as low as 14.
There's no way.
There used to be a lot ofstates in the us are 14, 15, wow
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (21:44):
I never really looked into it, but there used to be a
thing when I was younger whereyou could get your license
earlier, but you had to live ina rural situation like more
remote city kids couldn't do it.
It had to be a rural situationthat you could apply to get your
license early, becauseobviously you were driving down
the other end of your propertyor down a driveway, like there's
(22:06):
no real public transport orways to get to school and bits
and pieces.
So they allowed kids to gettheir license I want to say six
months, maybe a year earlierthan what was normal for those.
You had to apply for it, likeit wasn't something that you
could just say yes, you had toapply, and then they would come
back and say yes or no, whetheryou're cool.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
Right, say yes, you had to apply, and then they
would come back and say yes orno, whether you're cool and that
right.
But there's a, there's a statethat allows you to get your your
full license at 14 and a halfyears old and they lift the
nighttime restrictions by thetime you're 16.
Speaker 3 (22:39):
That's crazy, man yeah, yeah, I'd be.
I'd be more thinking that thosekids stole the car like if I
was driving around you you knowwhat I mean.
I'm driving around.
I'm seeing like a young kid ina car.
I'm thinking that kid stole thecar.
Really I'd be calling thepolice.
Yeah, that's crazy.
I was thinking might like wrapthis one up here and I'll give
updates if I'm alive or dead.
(23:00):
I guess in the future you mightget to see.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
Yeah, Hear him on the next episode.
You know we got a problem.
Speaker 3 (23:09):
We got a problem.
I'm six foot under.
Speaker 1 (23:12):
You've been listening to dad mode.
Our passion is navigating thiswild journey of parenthood and
modern life, from balancingfamily time to managing your
career and still squeezing insome gaming and content creation
.
And no matter what the womensay, they will never be able to
(23:34):
pry the controller out of ourcold dead hands.
Anyway, we hope you enjoyed theshow.
If you did, find us on Twitter,tiktok and YouTube at
DadModePodcast and we can befound on every podcast site at
DadModePodcast.
(23:54):
Y'all be cool.
See you next time.
Turning off normal human male mode.
Switching to dad mode.
Welcome in to dad mode Withyour hosts Bearded, Nova and
Morph.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Oh my god, my older boy.
He suddenly became like a miniadult.
It's really weird.
He's acting all responsible.
We had some of my younger son'sfriends came over, yeah, and he
volunteered to make the lunchfor them, yeah, and he's like
reminding me to do things.
(00:36):
Um, it's, it's.
I'm like who are you?
Where did this come from it?
It's it started slowly over thepast like few months, but all of
a sudden, like I'm starting tosee all of the signs of it now
and I don't know like he wantsto do more adult things, like
(00:58):
with me, like he's only 13, butI decided to teach him how to
drive anyway, like not in theroad, like parking lots and
stuff, just to get hang of it.
And like we go someplace.
He's like I want to get acoffee like you.
Or it's like I want to go getsushi instead of like a
hamburger at mcdonald's.
You know like, yeah, he wantsto do like all this adult stuff
now and it's like, oh, okay,that's yeah, cool, I guess.
(01:22):
So I I don't, I don't know like, have your kids, did they like,
did they have this?
All of a sudden, they wereacting mature or have.
I'm assuming this.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
I do find that it's it's something that you can't,
you can't prepare for it.
Just, it's like a light switchrandomly turns on.
You know, someone's just goingto their brain and flicked a
little switch.
It's like, oh fuck, sorry, weforgot to turn this on a few
years ago, right, yeah, andyou've got this whole different.
I want to say it is.
It's completely different,child for a sense, for a bit,
(01:52):
but it's not permanent.
That's that's the part I findthey still.
It's like, it's like a faultywire that's in there every so
often it just flickers off for asecond.
There's the dumb ass.
I know like.
Yeah, like we talked about agesago, teenagers their brains
ain't completely wide.
When they're going through theteenage period, the chemistry in
their head's a bit off.
(02:13):
Everything makes them thinkstupid and they do a lot of
stupid stuff without evenrealising it.
And it's weird when it gets tothis maturity part, because it's
like a flow between, a flowbetween both.
So they do something reallygreat and responsible and the
next thing they follow it upwith something stupid and you're
like what is going on?
Who is this person that you cando this but you can't do?
(02:35):
Right?
You're able to, you know, be soresponsible and help her out
and do this or do something likethat.
And then next thing you knowthey go and do something stupid
that you're like why would youdo that?
Speaker 2 (02:45):
like, yeah, yes, I can see that, like, like I said,
he's showing all these signs ofbeing responsible and I'm
recognizing it for him because Iknow it's important to him.
But then he does, he does, hedoes a kid thing again.
And then I'm like, oh yeah,yeah, you're still 13, he's the
same height as me now, right,but you know, I I get, so that
throws me off a little bit too,because he's getting so tall.
(03:07):
Yeah, but you know, I'm like,oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's
right, you're still.
You're still like you were.
Speaker 3 (03:12):
You weren't a teenager till like eight months
or six months ago, exactly andthe 13 year old actually went to
the movies on 12, turning 13.
She went to the moviesyesterday with her friends no
adults like dropped off at the,the mall, the shopping center.
They went to the grocery storethat's in the shopping center,
(03:33):
brought you know lollies andstuff, shoved it in their bags,
watched what is apparently theworst movie at the moment snow
white um and then went and hadlunch afterwards.
So they're out there for Idon't know four or five hours by
themselves.
The shops are very differentand and I realized that like
looking like it all gettingplanned and organized and going.
(03:55):
So where did this child comefrom?
Speaker 2 (03:57):
she's growing up all of a sudden very growing up, all
of a sudden, that she is doingthis more adult, teenager, adult
, adult-like day, I guess wouldbe the best way to put it, it
reminds me of what we said Idon't know a few episodes ago,
where, by the time they're what18 or 16 or something like you
spent like 80 or 90% of the timeyou'll ever spend with them, or
(04:18):
something like that.
Speaker 3 (04:19):
Yeah, yeah, it just really makes it.
But I went out yesterdaybecause I had a 40th to go to
and I didn't see like the pickupor anything like that or hear
how the how the day went.
So I was asking the wife lastnight when I got home how to go.
She goes, oh yeah, one of theother ladies, one of the other
mums dropped them off and shegot a couple of photos of them
(04:40):
and that and it's realizinggirls socially are very
different to boys socially.
I never noticed it growing up.
Obviously girls at one stage,but their social circles are
very different so they tend topair off.
Girls do so they'll go.
Oh yeah, that's, that's like myone friend and then that's it.
(05:03):
That's, you know, we doeverything together, whereas
boys can handle more of a groupsituation, like kind of jump in
between friends, like you got agroup of friends, but then you
know that you can.
You, it doesn't have to be thesame friend that you hang out
with all the time.
It's go, I can rotate and I can.
You know, I go with justin.
Then next, next weekend, I'mgonna hang out with sam, or I'll
(05:23):
hang out with Justin and Sam,or fuck Justin, or Dave's coming
over.
You know what I mean.
Like it rotates, girls, it'svery much.
You know this is my friend.
Oh crap, she's not there.
This is whole weird.
Now what do I?
How do I handle?
And so she's going out withthree other friends, right, and
this photo that the wife showedme.
It was very clear to see thepairing up, because imagine four
(05:46):
girls standing together for agroup photo but with like the
space of a person in between.
It goes two, two, space for oneperson, two, but then the twos
are actually dressed similar toeach other.
It's like they coordinatedoutfits.
So it's like is it really justtwo friends, like a friend and a
(06:06):
friend going out together, andthen they're caught up with
another friend and a friend likeyou could really see, right,
it's like it looked fuckingawkward, given the fact that
I've just come back from a 40th,and in a couple of people
they're like oh, I want to get agroup photo.
And you got friends that I'vebeen with 25, 30 years, that
I've known, and everyone's justarm and arm around each other.
It's a normal smile photo.
And then I've been with 25, 30years that I've known and
everyone's just arm and armaround each other.
It's a normal smile photo.
(06:27):
And then I've come home andlooked at this group photo of my
daughters and it's like that'snot really a group photo, like
what's going on.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
It's like those other two people just photobombed you
or something yeah, it was justreally.
Speaker 3 (06:38):
It was like you can see the awkwardness in this
photo.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
I'm like, okay, yeah, this is, it's cute but it's
like awkward guys don't like Ithink we just don't care quite
as much.
Like friend relations are justdifferent.
Like like my wife last week.
You know, I'm going to friendlike oh, how's his wife and kids
?
I'm like, I don't know, likealive.
I guess he probably would havetold me if they were dead.
Yeah, yeah.
And like, or I'll have friendswhere I call them good friends.
(07:04):
I don't talk to them for ninemonths we pick up and I talk
again like nothing happened.
Yeah, that was about the same.
Speaker 3 (07:10):
The conversation continues just like it was
yesterday Just spoke.
It didn't really matter thatthere's been a.
There's been a gap for so long.
I think we were talking thisyear cause it's the year of the
forties in one fucking year.
Right, we might catch up ahandful of times in a year, but
(07:31):
not, you know, every couple ofweeks.
They're kind of and it's weirdbecause you, because we've
gotten used to getting thatolder, having that longer break
in between, so it might be threemonths or six months between
seeing each other.
Yeah, when you have a catch upat a, at a party or a barbecue
or a gathering, you do the whole.
What's going on.
Yeah, this is about to go onthe, the job, the family and I
go through blah, blah, blah.
(07:51):
And of course, we've gotFacebook.
You can see what's happening.
We're old people.
That is really.
My social media is Facebook tokeep up to date with what
everyone's doing.
I never got onto Instagram, butyou know we do that catch-up.
Now we're catching up every twoweeks.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
It's really running low on material to talk about
when you've just finished doingthe catch-up, like this is a
yeah, yeah, okay, but I thinkit's like it's that's more of a
guy thing because, like, I thinkwomen just see they just have
more because they get into moredetails than we do.
Yeah, you know, like we talkabout kids because that's what
this show is about, but, likeyou know, like I have plenty of
other friends who have kids, Idon't ever ask them about their
kids and they don't ask me aboutmine because, honestly, nobody
(08:39):
cares, you know last night, this40th, there was actually a lot
of kids.
Speaker 3 (08:44):
I didn't take any of the kids, they stayed home and
even the wife stayed home.
But there was a lot of kids atthis 40th, to the point that,
like I, I shuddered when Ilooked in the room where all the
kids were hanging out in thekids' room.
I'm like, oh God, like shit,it's a mess.
There is party.
It was full on.
And I want to say it wasbecause it wasn't.
(09:06):
It was my friend's 40th, butalso his wife's 40th.
It was my friend's 40th, butalso his wife's 40th.
So they joined together.
So she had all her friends andtheir kids.
They were more open to bringingaway more kids than what my
friends were.
My friends were just kind oflike down the back corner of the
yard near a fire and you couldsee that divide in different
(09:26):
personalities.
They did a cake and a speechand then we're standing around
awkwardly like, is this for shit?
Don't know?
We meant to.
Is someone one of us meant todo a speech for him like, where
was this?
Speaker 2 (09:37):
right, yeah, yeah, those kind of situations are
awkward anyway, you know, I'venever enjoyed, you know, like
big things, like speeches likethat stuff, like that, where you
have to do impromptu.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
It's not my thing no, just just, I'm good, leave it,
but yeah, it's, it just showsthat awkwardness of going from
the teenagers to adults.
That's very still similar.
How that, how that, how theywork, that the social dynamic
works, even like the other day,when I want to say it was
thursday last week we yeah,we're talking about starbucks is
(10:10):
opening across the road fromyou know, 200 yards from my
house, and it's finally open.
So we had to send.
And because all the kids' busesactually get dropped off right
next to Starbucks, 7-elevensubway it's like okay, they're
going to want to go there in theafternoon and one friend just
jumped off the bus, just wentstraight into, was straight into
(10:31):
there with her friends.
They got I don't know like afrappe or something, chocolate
milk, then went to 7-Eleven, gotsome Krispy Kremes and, like
you know, they had a niceafternoon.
The other daughter came homewith a friend and they actually
drove no, she actually no gotoff the bus.
Then they walked from the bus,which is right next to the place
(10:52):
, home in the rain, because it'sbeen raining here a lot, and
then they got dropped their bagsoff and then walked all the way
back there to get their foodand then bring it what?
Speaker 2 (11:04):
yeah, why, why?
Why did you just go straightthere like which but's just
aren't you?
Aren't you more soaked withrain?
Speaker 3 (11:12):
now, exactly I was I was so confused by all of it.
But you know, that was anotherthing.
Getting that age, it's like,okay, cool, gotta give him money
to go hang out.
I don't, I don't.
I never remember going hangingout at a coffee shop when I was,
but that's the thing now.
Oh, that's, that's that's.
Yeah, you know how the worldhas become and everything's
changed.
That's that's the thing now.
Oh, that's, that's that's.
Yeah, you know how the worldhas become and everything's
(11:32):
changed.
That's that's.
Tv, I guess, probably, probablyspread that up.
Speaker 2 (11:37):
That's a cool thing to do, and that yeah, I remember
in my mid to late teens hangingout at like all night diners
and just buying cups of coffeeuntil, because they wouldn't
kick you out, but like yeah,yeah, otherwise, like I don't
know I don't know.
Speaker 3 (11:54):
So yeah, I'm watching .
There's a car across thedriveway and there's like the
space where she normally parks.
There's another car over thisside.
Car across the driveway saysthe car space there and she's
learning.
Perfect opportunity to do areverse parallel park.
Yeah, no, it didn't happen.
See, it looks like they've justdriven up the street and parked
up the other end of the street.
I was just watching that Holdon, this is going to play out
(12:18):
and then, yeah, let's go back tothe learn.
I'm going to just shift off thematurity thing and just over to
update on learning to drivesituation.
Speaker 2 (12:27):
Yeah, I swear my daughter just wants to kill me.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
Oh because it's like a thousand miles an hour with
you.
Like every second or third timethat we're in the car we have
like a near miss experience ofan accident.
And it's, yeah, weirdly enough,like around me there's tons of
roundabouts, tons, but they'reall simple, just for just
four-way roundabout, likenothing complex roundabout,
they're just all usuallydouble-lane roundabouts, pretty
(12:57):
straightforward.
So she should be pretty good atgetting through roundabouts
nowadays, yeah, but every timewe do a roundabout situation she
actually just drives through asa car's coming the opposite way
to like cut, path, cut, yeah,and then I'm on the stop, stop,
stop, stop, stop situation oflike what the fuck is going on.
(13:19):
But then I talked to my wife.
I got home we had anothernear-death experience.
She almost went through to thecar.
Yeah, car almost came throughthe side of us and my wife goes
oh, that never happens with me.
Then you take her, that's, whyis it?
And I mean you know, I've beentold that my wife's oh, that
never happens with me.
Then you take her.
That's, why is it?
And I mean you know, I've beentold that my wife's more on that
you're speeding, you're doingthis, you're doing that, you're
doing that me.
I like to try to try and take amore casual approach, or just
sit back and let her drive andthen just stop her when she
(13:41):
needs to, you know almost killme and she's done like I think
I'm more chilled.
Is she more stressed?
When I'm in the car at themoment, I don't know, maybe she
just doesn't like me and wantsto put a car for me I don't know
right.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
So I have taken my kid out a couple times a few
times now to go driving and Idecided to let him drive.
It's not a real.
In my opinion.
It's not a real road, but it'slike a road that goes from one
school to the other like, yeah,but I think it's called a lane
or whatever.
So it's not a regular road.
Yeah, so I'm like, are you sure?
I'm like, yeah, go on there.
And then I'm like turn and pullinto that that park by that car
(14:18):
or by that truck.
And he's turning.
I'm like you're, you'resteering at the truck, like I'm
the don't park at it.
So then he goes, and he didn't.
He's like, oh, and so he'sgoing around there, parks, at a
complete angle.
I'm like what are you doing?
Well, and he's like, oh, let mejust put it in reverse.
It starts to go.
I'm like you're not lookingbehind you, and the whole time
(14:39):
that's what I'm thinking.
But in my brain I'm like, hey,just slow down because he's
freaking out.
Yeah, so I have to be now.
It's gonna be worse for him.
But you know, I definitely sawmy life flashing before my eyes,
or like I saw we go back to theparking lot where we started
and I go, go pull in over thereand there's another car kind of
(15:02):
sitting weirdly in the parkinglot and I realized there's
another parent teaching theirkid how to drive.
Yeah, and I go park back there.
He's driving, right for it.
He's like, no, I want to parkup here, but he's, he's right at
them and I'm about to like lean, leap over and like press the
gas, the brake with my hand.
Yeah, then he finally stopped.
He's like I just wanted to parkhere.
Speaker 3 (15:21):
I'm like, get, get, we're done the lesson's over,
get out, you know I it's stillscitizen because she's only,
let's just say, two monthsalmost, we'll say three, we'll
say go extra, sorry, threemonths of actually having her
license and being able to drivea car herself.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
No-transcript really she's already had, she has a
license.
You're still getting them, so Idon't.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
I don't know why it happens to me.
I don't really don't know why,but it really concerns me for
once.
She gets that license and is isout there by herself her,
permit her learner's thing right, yeah, yeah yeah, okay, yeah,
because she's on her learner'snow.
So she has to be with a, with aadult.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
Yeah 100 hours?
Okay, 100 hours.
What is?
Do they have any rules, likewhen they get to license, in
terms of what they can do orwhat they can't do?
Speaker 3 (16:14):
um, in my.
So this is all different fromwhen I got a license, but I
believe there is a restrictionto having passengers after a
certain hour.
I think they're allowed to haveimmediate family after such and
such time, like you know, say10 o'clock at night, and then
maybe from like 10 o'clock on,they might be allowed to have
(16:38):
one friend, but they can't havemore than one friend.
They can have like one friendand as much immediate family as
they want.
I think that's the only rule asfar as I'm concerned.
Oh, and blood alcohol,obviously you can't, can't drink
and drive with right.
So they're zero, zero.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
I was just I was just looking it up and I thought it
was more than 100 hours forcadet for connecticut, but it
says 40, which is crazy.
That's not a.
Speaker 3 (17:05):
Well, I'm sure it was similar to when you drove.
There was no hours, it was justget your learner's thing and
then, after an age thing just gofor your license.
I honestly think I did maybefive hours of driving between my
learners and getting my license.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
It was yeah, and I know there's restrictions.
Once you get it, like you weresaying, for the first year, for
the first six months you can'thave anyone except like a parent
or you know another adult inthe car.
Yeah, and then you could have asibling in the car, but you
can't have anyone else besides afamily member for like the
first year.
Yeah, which is good becauseeveryone I got mine within the
(17:42):
first 30 days I was, I got myfirst speeding ticket with four
friends in the car and now I getwhy those kind of rules exist,
because I was an idiot.
Speaker 3 (17:53):
I was just double-checking because there's
another one.
So, yeah, if you're drivingbecause we had two versions of
provisions, so you got a P1 anda P2.
And a P1, driving between 11 pmand 5 5 am, you can only carry
one passenger under 21 who isnot immediate.
Okay, that's, that's.
That's the restriction there.
The other one I find veryinteresting is they have mobile
(18:17):
phone restrictions, yeah, sothey can't use.
They can't use a mobile phoneat all, just like I don't know
what you guys like, but I knowyou can't use a mobile phone
while you're driving here, likein your hand.
You can can have Apple CarPlayor Bluetooth type of thing.
You know you're able to usethat, but you can't physically
touch the phone.
So they're not even allowed tooperate a phone under Bluetooth,
so they can't even take phonecalls while driving is a
(18:41):
restriction, even with.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
Bluetooth.
Speaker 3 (18:43):
Yeah, even with bluetooth.
Yeah, if even with bluetooth,reading that, then they must not
use phones, includinghands-free kits, bluetooth
accessories, wireless headsets,a phone's loudspeaker function.
So it's not until they get totheir second provision that
they're allowed to accept calls,use navigation apps, skip a
song, etc.
I do not know trying to thinkat all.
(19:05):
Oh, there's a, there's a highpower difference too.
Kids can't the certain carsthat power to weight ratio
they're not allowed to drive aswell.
Oh, really, yeah, it used to bejust turbos, but then they
realized there was like lots oflittle, like three-cylinder
turbo cars that made no power,that they restricted and they're
like hold on, we gotta, wegotta rethink this rule.
It's gonna be power to weightnow instead.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
Oh, I should see if that exists, because, like I'm
teaching him on my car, which isa dodge charger, you know,
eight cylinder heavy, yeah yeah,definitely wouldn't.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
Definitely wouldn't be a car that like a p player
could drive.
Yeah, right, yeah, hello.
Kids on p1 queensland I'm justdouble checking.
So they.
So once she gets it, she's on ap1, that's the one for out of
mobile for one year and then,and then, as long as she's this
stage requires the completionkind of work out what this is.
(19:55):
After a year she can then go toher next provision.
So it's like a year of restrict, harder restrictions, and then
after a year, yeah, okay, cool,she can use her next one.
And then for us, all kids haveto have, like you know, you got
your l plates on your learners.
They actually have p plates aswell, so it goes to like a.
I think it's a red one to showthat you're level one, and then
(20:18):
you you get a green one whenyou're level two.
So you still got to show yourplates that you're still a
provisional, provisional driverfor the first few years.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
It helps other drivers stay the hell away from
you when they see you on theroad yeah, and I mean I didn't
have to do any of that either.
Speaker 3 (20:35):
That was not something we we didn't have to
do we had learner plates butnever had to do the whole
provisional plate on the car.
That wasn't.
That was something that theother states used to do, and
it's only recent years thatthey've made us do it.
Yeah, up here, yeah because Igot.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
I got the day I turned 16, I went and filed, I
went and made the appointmentfor my test, which was gonna be
about two and a half monthslater, and and then I even
messed up with the test and theguy's like, yeah, you know you
pass, so it was, it was fine.
But yeah, they have no carrestrictions here, although one
one thing that's interesting isI didn't know this they can't.
So they have nighttimerestrictions, like you were
(21:10):
saying 11pm to 5am.
They can't be on the road andthat isn't lifted until they're
18, no matter what.
Speaker 3 (21:16):
Same here.
They can't get their licenseuntil 17 and then for one year.
They can't do that untilthey're 18.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
You can get it at 16 here, but but yeah, oh, my god,
I'm looking at some states thatcan.
In the in the us there arestates that say the minimum age
is as low as 14.
There's no way.
There used to be a lot ofstates in the us are 14, 15, wow
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (21:44):
I never really looked into it, but there used to be a
thing when I was younger whereyou could get your license
earlier, but you had to live ina rural situation like more
remote city kids couldn't do it.
It had to be a rural situationthat you could apply to get your
license early, becauseobviously you were driving down
the other end of your propertyor down a driveway, like there's
(22:06):
no real public transport orways to get to school and bits
and pieces.
So they allowed kids to gettheir license I want to say six
months, maybe a year earlierthan what was normal for those.
You had to apply for it, likeit wasn't something that you
could just say yes, you had toapply, and then they would come
back and say yes or no, whetheryou're cool.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
Right, say yes, you had to apply, and then they
would come back and say yes orno, whether you're cool and that
right.
But there's a, there's a statethat allows you to get your your
full license at 14 and a halfyears old and they lift the
nighttime restrictions by thetime you're 16.
Speaker 3 (22:39):
That's crazy, man yeah, yeah, I'd be.
I'd be more thinking that thosekids stole the car like if I
was driving around you you knowwhat I mean.
I'm driving around.
I'm seeing like a young kid ina car.
I'm thinking that kid stole thecar.
Really I'd be calling thepolice.
Yeah, that's crazy.
I was thinking might like wrapthis one up here and I'll give
updates if I'm alive or dead.
(23:00):
I guess in the future you mightget to see.
Speaker 2 (23:04):
Yeah, Hear him on the next episode.
You know we got a problem.
Speaker 3 (23:09):
We got a problem.
I'm six foot under.
Speaker 1 (23:12):
You've been listening to dad mode.
Our passion is navigating thiswild journey of parenthood and
modern life, from balancingfamily time to managing your
career and still squeezing insome gaming and content creation
.
And no matter what the womensay, they will never be able to
(23:34):
pry the controller out of ourcold dead hands.
Anyway, we hope you enjoyed theshow.
If you did, find us on Twitter,tiktok and YouTube at
DadModePodcast and we can befound on every podcast site at
DadModePodcast.
(23:54):
Y'all be cool.
See you next time.
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Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!