December 10, 2024 • 51 mins
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Ever thought about turning a pile of discarded Magic: The Gathering cards into a brand-new game? Join us on a whimsical adventure where (K)Carl reveals his quirky journey of creating a rock-paper-scissors-style card game, complete with AI mishaps and paper cutter woes. Richard and —arl share laughs over bizarre Magic card finds and how Carl’s fiancée's non-gamer perspective adds unique challenges to playtesting. Expect humor, chaos, and insights as we navigate the unexpected hurdles of game designing.
What happens when an office becomes a film studio? Richard recounts a hilarious day of filming where a green blanket doubles as a green screen, and improvisation reigns supreme. With a coworker moonlighting as a director and an impromptu yoga session led by the boss, the chaos provides comedic relief and a break from the ordinary. Amidst the laughter, there’s a sprinkling of social commentary as we compare baffling government projects, like million-dollar bike lanes, to our own spontaneous creative endeavors.
Explore the zany world of shark movies with us as we ponder why serious shark films are as rare as a calm sea. From Sharknado to the grandeur of Jaws, we chat about the absurd and the awe-inspiring, while also throwing in some fun pet shark naming ideas. As we wrap up, expect a tidal wave of water puns and a heartfelt nod to shark conservation, leaving listeners with a refreshing reminder of the importance of self-care and the need to protect these misunderstood ocean dwellers.
Follow all things Richard and Karl, and check out "The Minuet of Sorcery"
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hello Welcome to Richard and Carl Present Deep
Space and Dragons and Sharks.
I'm Richard.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
And I am Carl, I'm not a shark.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
If we get copyright struck because your ringtone
played and it picked it up aspart of our intro, that'd be the
funniest thing in the world, sowe're leaving it there.
It triggered your theme music.
It's like I'm Carl and it waslike if that was Inspector
Gadget instead, it would havebeen flawless.
So before I go into the minutiaof theme songs, what's new in
(00:38):
the Carlverse?
Speaker 2 (00:43):
What's new in the Carlverse?
Well, I don't remember if Isaid this on stream or if I said
the post stream, or priest, oranyways.
Point of the matter is, um, youand I had uh done some work on
creating a sort of uh rock paperscissors card game.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
I think we have two episodes on that for anyone who
keeps track of our show, whichis not us.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
We do not, but so I've been buying a lot of Magic
cards lately and when you openthe packs you get like literal
garbage cards.
So I think our viewersabsolutely know.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
Oh, there was a quip I was going to make when Magic
inevitably came up in thisepisode and I need to say it oh,
Magic the Gathering, nowfeaturing 50% less Magic the
Gathering.
So true, Literally that's theiractual market plan.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
You get the literal garbage cards.
Um, I I've collected enoughthat I can sleeve 200 uh cards
and they're all garbage cards,which means that they won't be
able to use for anything else.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Uh, and so small there's like 200 cards in a
random shoe box that we use asan ottoman.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
Yeah, but those aren't technically garbage cards
.
I thought you rolled the cardsthat tell you what you can do on
your turn or give you coollittle mini-game shoes.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
Oh, I thought you meant garbage cards, like look
at me, I'm a 3-3 ape for four.
No, no, you mean literalgarbage.
Yeah, Like kills our planet andlenders microplastics in
exchange for knowing how a sagaworks.
Okay, got it.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I, I, I happen to have, well I, I
I'm not sure if I actually have200 or not yet, because I only
needed 92 action cards and 40field cards.
And then I just made my littletemplate in Inkscape, because
(02:50):
it's excellent free software.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
Oh yeah, not a sponsor, just a fan, as someone
who has to use the Adobe Cloudfor work.
Also.
Not a sponsor, less of a fan.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
But so I may have used some AI as placeholders for
my icons, but it's not for anycommercial purpose, so it
doesn't really matter.
I laid out my cards and then Iprinted them off and I cut them
with my paper cutter, whichdoesn't cut straight.
It makes me a little sad.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
Is there a joke here, somewhere, somewhere?
I'll figure it out later well,no, it's just literally like I
lined it up perfectly and it'slike no, that's just not
straight so we had a papercutter back when I was in
tutoring at redacted, doingredacted, and it's like it would
give up about the fifth pieceof paper down and we were
cutting out these like skew ourcoast to scan and I understand.
(03:46):
I understand the frustrationthat we have the technology to
use plastic filament to print aworking Rubik's Cube but we
can't cut paper.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Well, a little side tangent.
It is a I think it was like a$15 paper cutter, so I'm kind of
surprised it has a metal bladeat all.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
I mean counter-counterpoint that
technology was available in theStone Age.
Well, technically, the Iron Age, if we want to be pedantic.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
But the point of the matter is that I cut out all
these cards and I made my fiancéhelp me sleeve them up, and
then we tried it out.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
That's quite a plot, that's only with two players
yeah, yeah yeah, you still havea fiancee after that.
That's quite a plot twist.
Oh she, she beat me correct.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
Okay, we're good again I mean, she wasn't
particularly helpful in terms ofgame testing because she didn't
really give me any specificelements that she liked or
disliked, and most of hercomments were more so about the
graphic design of the cards thanthe actual gameplay.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
Well, what's interesting is, as a writer, I'm
no stranger to getting goodreviews.
I get a lot of good reviews andI also got that this book has
made me stop reading fiction.
So you know, not all feedbacknecessarily needs to be worked
into a dev cycle.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Although ironically.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
I then got published for nonfiction, so maybe there's
something to it.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Well, I mean basically, I think I want to
playtest it with more people,but it's like I printed a bunch
of draw three cards type drawcard Draw cards.
I guess is what I'm going tosay A lot of greed and I
realized it's much moreefficient just to have each
(05:37):
player draw up to seven at theend of their turn.
Okay, and then it actuallymaintains a quick paced game.
I don't know.
It definitely needs sometweaking and I want to play test
with more experienced gamers.
(05:59):
There you go did it for you yeah, yeah, I mean, like I said, I
love playing games with myfiancé, but she's not very it's
difficult to get useful feedbackfor game design.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
On the plot side, the version of reality, where your
fiancé goes through everyepisode of Deep Space and
Dragons.
Either they truly, truly loveyou or it's just not happening.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Oh, it's definitely not happening.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
She has no idea what you and I talk about I mean,
anyone who's met us can probablyassume it's pretty
straightforward.
It's not like we're going inhere talking about string theory
.
Well maybe, but we're not rightabout it uh.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
But then the other thing that's new with me uh, and
somewhat related, but notreally uh is one of the magic
packs that I cracked actuallyhad a $90 card in it.
So I need a pause.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
I want to tell you what I thought the story was
going with the information yougave me.
I thought, you were about tosay, you cracked a pack that had
a card in it with a QR code foran Audible subscription, which
you used to purchase Jaws.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
No, no, no, no, jaws, I haven't rented from the
public library on the Libby app.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
Hashtag libraries.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Yeah, hashtag libraries, saskatoon is getting
a new one instead of plowing ourresidential streets.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
Good, no, I'm on Team Library.
You see, the thing aboutSaskatchewan is and this is a
comedy show for all ourlisteners out there I don't
really care if people die, butthey do need to be better read,
that's just the fact, that isthe correct place for the money
to go.
Where it shouldn't go is addingin and then removing bike lanes
(07:43):
, but that's a story for anotherday.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Uh, I'm conflicted about the whole library thing,
but I I find myself conflictedabout most things, so it's not
nothing new libraries are sick.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
Find something else to be conflicted about be like
uh it's, I understand that theybought a library, but also they
should all take a 30% pay cut toplow the streets.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
Well, yeah, it would be nice if they took a pay cut
to make the budget balanceinstead of raising taxes and not
plowing streets.
But anyways, that's not reallythe point.
The point is that I pulled a$90 card out of of a pack and
then I begrudgingly uh, tradedit into collector's lane for
store credit I know collector'slane not a sponsor I just the
(08:38):
dude is kind of a like a.
He doesn't really actually seemto care about his customers.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
You see, what's funny about that is I know one of our
audience members has a directconnection to Collectors Lane,
so for that one viewer he justfeels so happy right now, just
him specifically, and I lovethat for him.
He's like I was not thinkingI'd listen to a podcast today
and hear people talk smack aboutthe collector's lane guy
vindicated anyways, um, I mean,besides that, what's new with me
(09:12):
is it's actually kind ofongoing.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
I'm 75 done reading jaws, um, but that's that's uh,
unless you don't feel likediscussing anything.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
That's new in the richard verse well, I mean, I do
have interesting things in therichard verse, but fine well, no
, I'm I'm interested in therichard verse.
That's a pretty good day yeah,but that's a pretty passive,
aggressive like well, if youdon't want to tell me about your
day, we can get into the funtopic.
I'm like, wow, like.
(09:43):
So today I starred in a filmand it was an experience.
So the first thing happens iswe book a room and just hang up
a green screen on the wall thatI'm pretty sure is just a green
blanket and clothes pins.
So step one is just standing onchairs and assembling the
screen screen in this randomoffice room.
So it's not like a a studioPicture, the most businessexe
(10:06):
meeting room, and we just decidewe're using this to shoot this
video.
After clipping this greenscreen on, they set up a tripod.
So when you set up a tripod,what do you think comes next?
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Setting up the camera .
Speaker 1 (10:22):
Nope, putting a cell phone in the tripod.
Why?
Speaker 2 (10:25):
would you use a?
Speaker 1 (10:25):
camera.
When cell phones exist, whywould I expect?
Speaker 2 (10:28):
a tripod.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
So my brain's just like huh.
I really thought RedactedInstitute's Redacted program
with its cutting-edge Redactedwould use more than a cell phone
.
But I'll say cell phones kindof have comically good cameras
in them now.
So the newest iPhone probablyin fact is better than most
people's actual cameras if thecamera's a couple years old.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Yeah, that's fair.
The image processing is kind ofinsane.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
So they set up this camera, they set up this cool
like USB-C to wireless lapel micon me and, as I begin reading
the thing, one of my coworkerswho, for the record, his field
is not media- at all, but thisman and I have talked in extreme
length about every Marvel movie, to the point of watching
(11:14):
Daredevil during a shift.
If that's what gets me fired, sobe it.
So he decides that this is hisdirector moment.
We don't have a teleprompter oranything of that nature, and we
don't want to have me lookingat a script.
So he's holding a laptop abovehis head, standing behind the
camera, with the script on it.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
And then, between cuts, he's giving director
feedback.
So the first piece of feedbackhe gives me is like no, no,
don't be Richard the person.
Be Richard the person.
Be Richard the actor.
Emote accentuate your emotions.
And the two actual, like peoplewho know what they're doing.
Look at, I'm like what are youtalking about?
Why are you even here?
Which is true, by the way.
He wasn't actually supposed tobe there, but he decided this is
(11:55):
director moment and I wasn'tgoing to stop him.
So we do our first cut and thenhe's like no, you need the
energy you had when you rantedto me earlier about the bike
lanes.
Channel that rage.
I'm like we're talking aboutcreating done lists.
Channel the rage, Richard.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
So I do.
I give my passion speech abouthow to-do lists are bullshit and
it's all about the done list,where you celebrate what you
achieved instead of settingyourself up for disappointment.
And he's like all right, whatare you even doing with your
hands?
And you'd be accentuating pointat them.
You can make a difference.
And then at one point theentire film crews on the ground
(12:35):
laughing Cause he's just superseriously tried to direct this
two minute long educationalspotlight on done lists.
And this is his opus magnus andwe're recording it one line at
a time because of like, werecord like a few lines at a
time.
so in editing they can editbecause doing it a one take is
(12:57):
actually less good than if youhave three takes for each line,
kind of thing or more like thisis just how the film students
have decided.
They're doing it, and I believethem.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
Right.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Plus, our teleprompter, being a laptop,
means it can really only show mea paragraph at a time, because
he didn't have the coordinationto hold it above his head and
scroll through it.
So the line of sight wascorrect, and then the phone
blocked out a chunk of thescript, so I just had, like,
most of the words and had tolike calculate the missing chunk
of words for the script that Ihad almost had memorized at this
(13:30):
point, but I was weirdlynervous because I was being
filmed see our podcast is gonnago shocking to people isn't
scripted.
If it was scripted, this wouldbe much harder, and if it was
scripted and I wasn't allowed tolook at the script, it would be
much, much harder that is trueso we managed to record this
(13:51):
video with everyone pretty muchbeing winded, and then one of my
co-workers was like hey, areyou coming to staff yoga?
I'm like what do you mean, staffyoga?
So it turns out my boss is ayoga instructor and then all
four of us that worked then wentand did a yoga class and
something about the having thelike 90 transition rate from
(14:13):
co-workers to then doing a yogaclass was kind of majestic, out
of concept and like I've had abit of a sore back lately for
being a lazy slob, so it seemedlike a good idea to use my human
form for a while before Iascend to potato or master hand
status.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Yeah, so that was my day today specifically was
mostly recording this videowhich was just so delightful.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
We also did like an outreach event where, like I
warmed up talking to people,which is why this video be like
richard emotion channel it.
I'm like I've never had someoneever tell me that I need to put
more into something okay.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
So now just out of curiosity, this uh bike lane
rant was that saskatoon relatedor toronto related?
Speaker 1 (15:01):
ah man, I'm gonna go into toronto politics, but it's
only fair we go intosaskatchewan politics a lot.
So our acting premier, douglasforteskill, or whatever the hell
his name is, or dougie, or reallife homer simpson, whatever
you want to do, not a fan ofthis man, not a sponsor of my
show had this idea, so a whileback, don't call him Dougie,
(15:21):
that's like the name of a famoushomeless guy, meh.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
He was famous in Saskatoon anyways.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
TLDR In downtown Toronto, they set up what were
effectively like safety spikesin the bike lanes.
So there is dedicated bikelanes for bikes to go through,
because each person on a bike isone less car.
Setting up these bike lanescost the city, I don't know
probably $111 million, the exactamount certain institutions
could use to fix their financialtroubles, which is why I like
(15:53):
looping back to this, rantingabout it.
So he decides that these bikelanes Aren't working because
traffic's too congested.
So he's paying another.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
I really, I really, I really I can say, to say 111.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
Sorry, you cut out like you went so passionate that
it seems like there's a legacy.
Would you please re-ask thequestion, sir?
Sorry, you cut out Like youwent so passionate that it seems
like there's a legacy.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
Would you please re-ask the question, sir.
It wasn't a question and itwasn't like.
Anyway, 11 to 1 is a muchbetter way to say 111.
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
It's funny because there's like a lag spike with
this.
I'm like, oh no, no, he'ssaying like he's, he's speaking
in tongues, he's being overcome.
11 t1.
11 t1 was what the delivery was.
This joke.
I really hope someone laughsbecause I'm like, wow, we just
fought, like I desperately ispanicking.
Our internet connection died for11 t1 but yes so 11 $111
(16:56):
million was set putting in thesebike lanes and now he's
spending another $111 million topull them back out again to try
and fix the traffic thatthey're set up to fix.
So it's like they literallymade a massive project, didn't
like it and then they're payingto get rid of the massive
project.
And I'm not even arguingwhether bike lanes are good they
are, or that traffic is baddowntown it is.
(17:18):
It's the idea that someonewould implement a fix that costs
a bunch of money and then spenda bunch of money to just
control Z the fix, instead ofhaving a third solution of some
sort, especially when redacted.
Educational institutions couldvery much use some government
support right now as mostcolleges did.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
What Redacted?
Speaker 1 (17:40):
had to do and just gut the programs.
So that's a rant for anotherday because conflict of interest
.
So TLDR, I hate the bike lanething so much.
It's kind of like when RedactedFortikens decided that we need
to sell alcohol at a cornerstores and gas stations and what
have you?
Sure, the LCBO liquor boardmight have had a monopoly.
(18:01):
Whatever you can argue the prosand the cons, what you can't
argue is this cost them hundredsof millions of dollars in
subsidies he gave out to theliquor store so they wouldn't go
bankrupt from the other storesselling liquor now.
So this program to sell alcoholcosts millions of dollars.
The idea to give a license forstores to sell alcohol somehow
(18:22):
cost us tax money, which wassupposed to make us tax money.
That was the point.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
Right Bizarre.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
But I did buy wine with a bear with an eye patch on
it from the gas station andused that to make a pork roast
the other day.
So, last new thing with me.
So I've never been the biggestfan of wine, but I don't know
what's happened either.
It's because I hit the rightage.
I burned the roof of my mouththe exact correct number of
(18:52):
times, but when I was at awedding recently, I realized
that I now enjoy wine, whichmeans I either took brain damage
, tongue damage or mouth damage.
So the red wine that I didn'tuse for marinating this
delicious pork roast I thendrank with the bear on it and I
know no one will tell me it'sgood wine.
But I just have this suspicion,this feeling from life I've
(19:14):
lived so far that the higherfanciness rating something has,
traditionally the less deliciousit is, and I just feel like the
cheaper garbage or wine isprobably actually better In my
experience eating food.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
You're probably right .
Speaker 1 (19:35):
It's like I want the wine that tastes like I can't
handle wine.
I can see that, but maybe youhaven't burned your mouth
exactly the right way yet,because this was like a magical
transformation.
I don't know when or how ithappened, because it's not like
I've had a wine drinking budget.
Maybe it's when I got publishedas an author.
I just became more tolerant toalcohol.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
I feel like I would need a whole new mouth, because,
no matter how good the winetastes on the front, there's an
aftertaste.
That's a part of thefermentation process.
I just no, I can't do it.
It also ruins fondue.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
We did have this discussion, so let's pivot to
sharks, just abruptly out ofnowhere.
So what are your top threefavorite sharks?
Speaker 2 (20:22):
Out of nowhere my top three favorite sharks.
Well, I mean the street sharksare pretty ballin'.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
I'm going to count that as one because that feels
good.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
The animatronic shark from Sharknado is number two
From Sharknado and there's this.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
No, sorry from Jaws I don't know why I said Sharknado
.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
I was thinking Sharknado.
For some reason, can you?
Speaker 1 (20:47):
imagine if Sharknado dropped animatronic sharks from
the sky on people.
Oh man, that would be sick.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
But my number three, favorite shark.
A Dollarama has these littletubes of candy and then on the
top there's a little shark mouthand you push the button and it
lunges and bites stuff.
I was a little bit sad Icouldn't find any of those this
year for stocking stuffers.
They usually come out aroundHalloween, so I guess I just so.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
According to the internet, the shark from Jaws
was named Bruce.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
Those are good sharks , huh, so Top three favorite
sharks?
I don't.
I'm mostly kidding about that,but I mean like You're not sure
that you are, and that's fine.
When I'm on the spot, I can'treally.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
Well, we can continue along and then see if more
sharks are coming.
When I'm on the spot.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
It's like oh, how many sharks have I actually seen
?
Can you name at least threedifferent sharks?
Speaker 1 (21:45):
So I'm going to start with King Shark from the Harley
Quinn adaptation of the DCUniverse, specifically the one
who is a hacker.
Then I'm gonna pivot to Okay,uh, I can do this, I believe in
me.
I wanna say just the land shark, which was the recurring SNL
(22:05):
gag, but also there's Marvel'strying to push this baby shark
character, who's very adorable,adorable, whose name I'm losing
right now Jeff the Baby LandShark.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
Now I gotta look this up.
I haven't heard nothing aboutthis.
Jeff the Baby Land Shark.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
Jeff the Land Shark, also known as Jeffrey, is a
character and he's been likeshowing up in like new Marvel.
Jeff the Landshark, also knownas Jeffrey, is a character.
Huh, and he's been showing upin new Marvel games and things.
Because, besides that, that'sjust the character they're going
to push and I can get on boardand I'm going to say Kasame from
(22:56):
Bleach is my third shark.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
Okay, I didn't think about Kasami.
Kasami is a way better sharkthan the.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
Dollarama Candy yeah, but less good than King Shark.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
Shafted Lion Shark is adorable.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
So I want you to know when I looked up famous anime
sharks.
Kasami showed up at the top ofthat list, above the humanoid
shark from Toriko who his namewas like shark for Shuku you
know, I don't even remember thatcharacter and I did read Toriko
from start to finish.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
I'm pretty sure there was a shark, but that's not the
point the point is that themovie Jaws is based on a book.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
What.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
Also named Jaws.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
No way.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
This is just a little tangent.
There's a movie called theShawshank Redemption and I
thought it was a really goodmovie.
Apparently, it wasn't very wellreceived when it came out.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
That is wild to me because that is like iconic
movie.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
Yeah, I know, uh, but I didn't notice.
But it's based on a StephenKing novel, uh, called Rita
Hayworth and the ShawshankRedemption, because Rita
Hayworth is the actress.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
All movies, statistically, statistically
speaking, are inspired byStephen King book.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
That's just numbers nope, see, jaws is not by
Stephen King.
Jaws, I'm going to bring it upright now, is by Peter.
Peter Benchley seems fishy well.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
I see, apparently he was like he really liked sharks.
It was by Peter Benchley, seemsfishy.
Speaker 2 (24:39):
Well, apparently he really liked sharks and then he
wrote his book Jaws and it kindof did okay, and then they made
the movie and then the bookreally took off and then a whole
bunch of people went andstarted hunting sharks and he
was all like that's not what Iwanted to happen from my book.
And so he spent the rest of hislife doing like shark
conservation.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
I do love that like.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
That's rather fantastic of him um, but so, uh,
there there was quite a bit cutfrom the book, so I'm
apparently 88% done, 88% done,which is 88% done, which is
about how much is left of theaverage Jaws victim.
That means I'm on page 552 outof 630.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
That's pretty close to the end I enjoy when I get to
feel like a concise writerbecause I'm like cool.
I told three plot arcs.
He fought one fish.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
Well, you see, there's a lot more going on in
the book than there is in themovie, Because in the movie the
mayor just kind of seems like agreedy jackass In the book.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
He's under threat from the Shark Yakuza.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
He borrowed money from the mafia and so you just
cut out on.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
He borrowed money from the mafia.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
And they're like oh no, you don't need to pay us
back.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
But they're just like , hey, just like, buy my back in
, am I going?
Speaker 2 (26:23):
yeah, we're good we're good, the mafia released.
You am I blurbing.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
I think you're good.
I think you're ready to go.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
Please continue well, so that.
So the uh, the mafia gets himto buy up a bunch of property in
the town and then they're goingto sell it when the market
booms during the summer to makea profit.
But then the shark shuts downthe beaches.
So they're trying to get him toreopen the beaches because
otherwise their properties willgo bust, which for them isn't a
(26:50):
problem because they don'tactually have any money in it,
but for the mayor is a hugeproblem.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
See, that's kind of funny.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
I don't know where that's going to go yet.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
That feels pretty Batman villain or Scooby-Doo
villain, depending on how muchblood there is.
Speaker 2 (27:04):
Well, the mafia did snap the neck of the chief of
police's cat to send a messageto him to not stop the beaches
from being open.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
I would kill the entire mafia for that.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
Yeah.
So then he hires the crazyshark guy Quint and they go out
and do their shark stuff on theboat.
But meanwhile the marinebiologist from the movie for
whatever reason he is sleepingwith the chief of police's wife.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
Sure, why not?
Speaker 2 (27:43):
And the chief of police is suspicious of what's
going on there.
But they're on the boat withthis Quint fellow and the
Quint's just kind of beenlaughing at them for their
interpersonal drama and I'm like, oh man, is this gonna like end
up with someone dying to thechief of police instead of to
(28:05):
the shark?
But it's like nope.
When the marine biologist goesdown into the, into the cage, uh
, the shark kills him right downin there, busts his cage open
and just and that was the singlebiggest surprise to me
difference between the movie andthe book, where it was like
(28:27):
wait a second.
In the movie the marinebiologist survived and this one
not so much okay, okay good, Iwas thinking that might be like
a and this one not so much.
Okay, good, I was thinking thatmight be a huge lag spike or
something.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
No, I think we're good, but I do have to let you
in on a piece of information,and I hope you're sitting.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
Okay, there's six Sharknado movies.
I knew there were five and Ithink it's maybe the third one
when they start doing weird timetravel shenanigans.
Speaker 1 (29:02):
The final Sharknado movie is called the Last
Sharknado.
It's About Time, which is atime traveling movie about
traveling back in time toprevent Sharknados.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
I knew there was time travel in at least one of them.
The main character's son getstaken to the Sharknado and then
comes back as an adult portrayedby Dolph Lundgren it's amazing.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
So let's go on to the topic of shark movies a little
more esoterically here my firstquestion to you is this After
Jaws came out.
The shark movie of person getsterrorized by shark and then
killed with fire extinguisher.
Allowing fire extinguishers toexplode in every video game ever
made sense.
My question to you is do weever need to make another shark
(29:53):
movie?
Where were you done?
Speaker 2 (30:01):
make another shark movie.
Where were you done like?
Um, well, I mean mecha shark.
That series of movies is pretty, pretty fantastic.
Can't go wrong with mech shark.
Um, movies about megalodons, Imean, yeah, the megalodon.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
So the job was a very large shark but well, let's
talk about the meg, themegalodon movie with, with Jason
Statham in it, that tried totake itself completely seriously
.
So Megalodon being giant deathshark is basically.
We took Jaws and made it into akaiju movie and I love me a
(30:29):
good kaiju movie and I love me abad kaiju movie.
But the Meg was a bland kaijumovie which is completely
unacceptable.
Like Mega Shark vs GiantOctopus, I can get behind Like a
shark leaping to attack a plane.
That's peak cinema.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
But Meg 2,.
Speaker 1 (30:47):
The Trench does not get to be peak cinema because it
forgets to be dumb.
But there's kind of like aspectrum for shark movies, A
serious dumb spectrum, and Ithink the serious stopped.
I think Jaws was the onlyserious shark movie that
successfully existed.
Speaker 2 (31:07):
I believe the movie is called Deep Blue Sea.
I think it has Samuel L Jackson.
Let me look it up though.
Speaker 1 (31:14):
Yeah, deep Blue Sea, the sci-fi horror featuring
genetically engineered sharks ofsuper intelligence in an
underwater lab, is not a seriousmovie, no matter how much it
pretends it is, because this isa movie about genetically
engineered sharks withheightened intelligence in an
underwater lab.
What makes it funny is thatevery character plays it
(31:35):
completely seriously unawarethat they're in a movie about
genetically engineered sharkswith heightened intelligence
creating chaos in an underwaterlab.
They might as well havefreaking laser beams on them
you're right.
Speaker 2 (31:50):
There doesn't really seem to be that much more room
for serious shark movies,because people aren't really
scared of sharks anymore norshould they be.
Speaker 1 (31:59):
That was a.
He dedicated his life's workafter jaws explaining that they
should not be so my question toyou is would you ever, if you
were challenged?
We need to make a serious,serious shark movie.
How would you do it?
Serious shark movie how Causeit's easy to do a comedy Like
(32:20):
I'd have that gun.
That's a laser pointer thatmakes sharks come out of the
water and eat people.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
Hmm, I do also like the sharks that can just swim in
like ankle deep water.
Speaker 1 (32:30):
Yep.
That's the very concept of ashark NATO is like they jumped
the shark.
The very concept of a Sharknadois like they jump the shark.
Also, jumping the shark is justa hilarious trope to begin with
.
Speaker 2 (32:39):
Hmm, but how would you make a serious shark movie?
Speaker 1 (32:45):
Like the Megalodon, tried to be a serious one, but
no, a Megalodon's a stupid enemy.
Because here's the thing aboutall shark movies the sharks have
a very specific weakness that,when exploited, renders the
concept of the movie defeatedcompletely.
Speaker 2 (33:00):
You go on land.
Well, I mean, that doesn't workfor MechaShark.
Speaker 1 (33:06):
Well, yeah, but good luck making a serious MechaShark
movie.
I'd be so proud of you.
That's why people are like ShinGodzilla is like an actual
serious movie, won a bunch ofawards.
I'm like nah, I'll takeGodzilla vs Kong any day.
I'm sorry If you're using ashark as a metaphor for
loneliness and despair, sure, Iguess.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
Well, I mean.
So the only answer would be tohave the people in a situation
where they can't get away fromthe shark, such as Deep Blue Sea
, or they're in the underwaterlab.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
I mean I'd probably try and do the classic horror
trope of keeping the monstersnot shown as often as possible.
I'd probably do a Poseidonadventure thing where they're in
an upside-down sinking ship andhave to swim to sections and
then people just explode inclouds of blood, sinking ship
and have to swim to sections andthen just people just explode
in clouds of blood, like it'slike I would never reveal it was
a shark and that's what wouldmake it horrifying.
(34:02):
It's just dying horribly becauseyour friend slipped, and then
you just see an arm in bloodBecause, like, that's one way to
do it.
I mean, the other way to do itis like you have two sharks and
they were in love for years andthen they grew old together.
But after his wife shark dies,the husband shark decides to go
(34:24):
on one last adventure with alittle kid.
Speaker 2 (34:28):
Yeah, I mean I don't Okay.
Okay, I mean, an animated movieIs not inherently unserious.
Speaker 1 (34:37):
I love how, like you don't even call me out on Up,
but Sharks, you're like no, no,okay, let's play this for a bit.
Speaker 2 (34:45):
Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah, I mean, you know, like I
was kind of thinking thatTalking Sharks would ruin the
bit, but if it's actually just amovie about sharks A la
Watership Down.
Speaker 1 (34:56):
Oh damn, because my brain went Finding Nemo but it's
like oh no, watership Downdidn't give a fuck, like that
should have the horror tag on itwhich is a statement you
wouldn't think of.
Yeah no, if you wrote a sharkmovie with the intentional
classic Winnie the Pooh.
Nightmare-esque 2D animationWith the objective of
(35:22):
traumatizing children.
Speaker 2 (35:23):
Oh, that'd be a good movie, though Sharkship Down, I
don't know.
No, I think you'd call itsomething like Blood and Fang?
No, no, it has to bedeceptively tranquil.
It'd be something like bloodand fang.
Speaker 1 (35:37):
no no, it has to be deceptively tranquil.
Speaker 2 (35:39):
It'd be something like abandon ship down nope,
that doesn't that I don't knowif that's deceptively tranquil,
um, but we'll go with it, darklagoon, so I don't think sharks
(36:00):
live in lagoons true, but nowthat we're on the topic of
sharks, just random shark,insert ideas.
Speaker 1 (36:06):
Because, like, the thing about shark movies is yeah
, no, they're all basicallyeither jaws or sharknado and
they fall on the jaws orsharknado spectrum.
Speaker 2 (36:13):
That's kind of the only way it goes yeah, but I
mean there's just fewer andfewer jaws shark movies, because
they get less good each time?
Speaker 1 (36:25):
how?
Speaker 2 (36:25):
do you actually make it?
Well, how do you make somethingnew with a shark aside from
going completely outside the box, like we just did with our
watership down shark movie, orthey did with which I hope?
Speaker 1 (36:36):
materializes.
Oh yeah, like like this wouldbe.
If you can manifest that,that's so cursed, though that's
the thing we manifest next, likeit's amazing, but like we did
this and it's a problem, becausenow we have to live with that
what if it turns out to be acinematic masterpiece?
Oh yeah, that's fair.
Maybe I should write it.
(36:56):
I should just write like akid's book about sharks.
That's just stupid dark, justcomically dark.
But here's my shark questionfor you, since we can do random
shark questions.
What video game.
Would you add a playablecharacter as a regular shark to?
Speaker 2 (37:16):
What video game?
Oh, Echo the Dolphin.
Speaker 1 (37:22):
That feels like See, I was kind of trying to text
your creativity.
If we're just going best,sharks in games like yeah, no,
Echo, the Dolphin Sharks justmake sense, so sharks make an
equal amount of sense in DonkeyKong Country when you pilot the
shark and dodge the sharks.
Speaker 2 (37:40):
Wait okay so shark playable characters.
Speaker 1 (37:45):
Yeah, let's go shark.
Playable characters Say theymade a DFO game, but you had to
pick a different kind of seamonster.
Would that be a good game?
Speaker 2 (37:52):
Well, yeah, I was just thinking Bioshock, but you
controlled the sharks to dopuzzles in the water outside the
outside the dome.
Speaker 1 (38:01):
I appreciate shark puzzles I also appreciate just
having a shark in smash brosthat just swims around and
wherever he moves it's justwater and jumps out in sharks
people well, I mean for forsmash bros.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
Uh, you know, like super mar, mario, 3d World had
the 3D blocks of moving water.
So it'd just be like your sharkcould be a block of moving
water and then it could jump outof the water to attack people.
That'd be cool.
Yeah, playable shark in SmashBros, I could see it.
Speaker 1 (38:37):
Although it'd probably just end up being
Sharpedo.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
That's a good point.
Sharpedo doesn't need water,though he's not a real shark.
Speaker 1 (38:49):
I mean he's a shark and a torpedo fused together.
He's about as legitimate asanything on the Sharknado list
or Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus.
Speaker 2 (39:00):
Fair enough.
Speaker 1 (39:04):
When it comes down to it, it's kind of funny.
In real life a large animal isterrifying and it's so hard to
translate that to fiction.
If you see a bear in real life,it is the most terrifying,
harrowing experience you'll eversee.
And then Cocaine Bear ends upbeing the dumbest movie of the
year.
Speaker 2 (39:22):
Oh yeah, Cocaine Bear was pretty stupid.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
I mean, I love the concept Speaking of bears
actually.
That's a pivot.
Speaker 2 (39:31):
Well, no, just the guy who wrote Watership Down I
think it was the next book hewrote it was called Shardik and
it was about a mystical bear,wrote was.
It was called Shardic and itwas about this.
It was about a mystical bearthat everybody was like
worshipping, and I don't reallyremember much about it, except
that it was weird and it wasabout a bear instead of rabbits,
(39:52):
but yeah, that's fair.
Speaker 1 (39:56):
I do think this will be a little bit shorter thing
because like sure we could gointo great white shark versus
genetically engineered shark.
If a shark had a superheroorigin story, what powers would
it have and what's actuallywe're going to do with that one?
If a shark had a superheroorigin story, what powers would
it have and what would its namebe?
So I'm going to start with thelazy one as an example not my
(40:20):
actual entry, but so peterparker.
The spider descends down to givehim the heroic bite, but he
slips backwards and falls in ashark tank and the spider bites
the shark, creating spider sharkwho has all the powers of
spider-man okay, it is stilljust a regular shark spider
shark is cool.
Speaker 2 (40:39):
Uh, I was kind of thinking more along the lines of
uh, it'd be like um terranshark, it'd be like the opposite
of aquaman, you'd have teletelepathic powers to control the
creatures of the land.
Speaker 1 (40:56):
To control the creatures of the land.
Okay, I'd love a terror shark,who was born of a human, like no
, it'd be like a land.
Their parents would literallyhave to be like Earthian royalty
and a shark to work.
Yeah, terror shark's prettytopped here, so I was gonna go a
(41:19):
different direction with it.
It'd be like Ruki Akuchiki wasan average Soul Reaper until the
Shark's family were about to bekilled by Hollows and she
transferred her Shinigami powersto the Shark to create the
Shark Reaper Just a regularShark with Soul Reaper powers,
yeah, okay.
I think we've realized, though,that the less intelligent it is
(41:42):
the better.
The shark superhero plays Likejust a shark in an Iron man
costume is amazing.
Speaker 2 (41:51):
I mean, I'm also kind of a fan of like Batman Begins,
but Batman's a shark when hisparents are killed in an
alleyway, yeah, and then he getstrained by a league of
assassins.
Which is amazing, he comes backas a sort of ninja vigilante.
Speaker 1 (42:12):
So here's another random shark question, because I
took some random questions andjust inserted shark.
Speaker 2 (42:19):
So you're designing an?
Speaker 1 (42:20):
RPG with a shark as a playable character.
What class do you make theshark?
Rogue, warrior, wizard or mage?
Ooh so you feel?
Like wizard's the best one,except a shark dressed up like a
ninja using sneak attack onpeople is amazing.
Speaker 2 (42:41):
I was going to say like, uh, wizard wizard seems
like the pretty obvious one, butalso so, uh, I don't know,
shark warrior, that doesn'tthat's kind of lame.
Hmm, yeah, I think I am goingto go with the shark wizard,
cause I mean the shark in thewizard hat, like, if you're just
(43:01):
imagining jeffrey the shark,jeffrey the land shark, uh, with
wearing the cute little wizardhat like he's, that's, that's
pretty top tier.
Speaker 1 (43:10):
That is pretty top tier.
Here's another question if youwere a shark in pirate infested
waters, how would you protectyourself?
Speaker 2 (43:20):
a shark in pirate infested waters.
Speaker 1 (43:22):
Yeah, you're just living your life.
You're a shark, and thenpirates encroach on your
territory.
What is your plan of action?
Speaker 2 (43:30):
What is my plan of action?
Speaker 1 (43:31):
Because I love the mental image of a shark pushing
expired cannonballs into likeunderwater geysers so it
launches them back up to blowholes in the ship oh yeah,
that's a good point.
Uh yeah, because sharks wouldhave wonder how deep sharks can
go I mean this shark needs to bepretty top tier for my plan to
work in all its glory but but no, no, no, no, you need to like.
Speaker 2 (44:04):
The rogue shark just seems kind of like it's the best
move, you know, because ifyou're just like being stealthy
going underneath their boat andthen just occasionally just
tapping it with your tail, youknow, until you find a weak spot
and crack it open.
Speaker 1 (44:19):
I mean, yes, that's one way to do it, but it's much
funnier if they're walking tothe mess hall, open the pantry
and a shark just jumps out atthem and then flops back into
the water.
It's like what's going, likethat's just peak TV.
Also the shark barbarian whenhe throws a spear at it and it
just catches it in its mouth andthrows it back.
(44:39):
But I think we'll wrap up thisfishy episode here with some of
our more traditional, lessshark-themed random questions.
All right, so as I pull up thelist.
Speaker 2 (44:58):
Just start shouting off awesome names for your pet
shark.
Speaker 1 (45:02):
Wait, I got a name for my pet shark.
Speaker 2 (45:03):
Yeah, I gotta name my pet shark.
Speaker 1 (45:03):
Yeah, I just transferred you a shark.
What are you naming the shark?
Speaker 2 (45:09):
Uh, hmm, spot.
Spot's a good name for a shark.
I don't know Claude, I likeClaude.
Speaker 1 (45:20):
You know I don't know why I also thought of Claude.
That's like I'm pretty sure mynext pet's probably going to be
named Claude.
It's just like such a good petname that's random, but I mean I
guess that's.
You know, we've been friendsfor a long time, so I guess we
must be oh, speaking of, I wroteanother Carl character into a
(45:42):
and it's a funny editor's note Igot Because you know I'm
working on this novel right, andI sent you the rough draft of
the Hangman story a while back.
So, now with a character namedCarl in the Hangman story.
You know how I'm killing thisCarl Peacefully in his sleep of
natural causes.
No one will ever see thatcoming.
He dies having lived afulfilled life.
Speaker 2 (46:06):
Wait, wait, wait.
The hangman story wasn't theone where he decides to go
outside to see whether or nothe's dreaming, is it?
Speaker 1 (46:14):
It is so.
Instead it's, he dies away.
He passes away peacefully inhis sleep, having never left.
Speaker 2 (46:21):
Oh Well, I mean, that's a nice way for me to die,
I guess.
Speaker 1 (46:25):
It's much more traumatic for the other one
who's used to people die, thecaptain, who's used to people
dying in dramatic fashion,watching his friends slowly
wither and die due to time.
So here's our random questionthat we received from listeners
like you or viewers who arewatching the subtitles on
YouTube with no audio for somereason.
Wait, wait, wait.
Speaker 2 (46:46):
I mean, does this person have like a tag name or
something, or is this like?
Do you mean like, give them acode name?
Speaker 1 (46:53):
Well, the thing is I don't like to dox people right,
so like I don't want to evername drop who gave us the
question, but I'm going to gowith Claude for the sake of this
conversation.
Claude Sharktoon.
Speaker 2 (47:07):
What is the weirdest?
Speaker 1 (47:08):
compliment you've ever received that you secretly
loved.
Speaker 2 (47:13):
Weirdest compliment you've ever received that you
secretly loved, huh Well, I mean, uh, my boss when I first
started working there.
So first I started at a pizzastore in a small town.
Speaker 1 (47:35):
What no way.
Speaker 2 (47:37):
Yeah, so I had some pizza store experience when I
came back to the much largerurban center of Saskatoon.
Ironically, it is actually like10 times larger, no, 20 times
larger than the town that Istarted in, anyways.
So he had never worked with mebefore.
(48:01):
He had no idea how, how well Iknew the menu and whatnot, uh.
So then, uh, making pizzas, andhe comes up to his wife, he's
like oh, hey, oh, this new guyis pretty fast, hey.
And then he just like walksaway and it's like that's the
closest thing you ever get to acompliment from my boss.
They'll just passive,aggressively, tell someone else
(48:22):
that you're awesome.
Speaker 1 (48:23):
I appreciate that I'm going to go with a recent one I
got, and I don't even thinkit's a compliment, I just took
it as a compliment.
So we had a meeting and for anicebreaker.
My boss asked everyone what isyour favorite fruit?
And then Plossin goes andRichard don't fucking say tomato
or avocado or olive.
(48:45):
And I took that as such acompliment that they had to put
a disclaimer that I wasimmediately going to say a
non-fruit to answer thisquestion, and they needed to be
clear that no, they're nottolerating any of my sass today,
so that one's not really acompliment, I just took it as a
compliment.
I think a weird compliment Igot today that I secretly loved
(49:06):
was I said something along thelines of we could do this method
or I could just do it, and theysaid, and I quote oh, thank
goodness, I was hoping you wouldsay you would just do it,
please just do it that is apretty good compliment.
Oh, please, just do it, please.
I'm like that is absolutely acompliment and that makes me
(49:27):
feel happy.
Yeah, and I think with that,that is our random questions,
that is our shark episode, and Ionly managed to work in like 10
of the water puns I was workingon.
Speaker 2 (49:44):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (49:46):
I managed to get the fin joke in there.
I managed to get the beach jokein there.
I managed to tell you that youbit off more than you can chew.
I was trying to figure out howto say hammerhead out the
details, so I'm just going tosay it at the end I definitely
did the whale.
I didn't see that coming?
Speaker 2 (50:06):
What are you talking about?
Speaker 1 (50:11):
What's cracking?
Speaker 2 (50:18):
Release your inhibitions.
That one's not really a waterpun, but yeah, you're pretty
sea-salty about it.
Oh I am, I'm amazing at mywater.
Pun Dang it.
(50:38):
I lost my flow.
Yeah that I lost my flow.
Speaker 1 (50:41):
Yeah, that's probably my bad.
It was rather jaw-dropping ofme, but you did finish strong
and thank you everyone who'sstill in this episode for some
reason, where it just evolvedinto complete nonsense at the
end.
Something Something, books andPatreon you'll figure it out.
Speaker 2 (50:59):
And self-care.
Make sure you hydrate.
Speaker 1 (51:02):
And don't kill sharks .
No, no, fighting sharks, don'tkill sharks.
He put his entire life intoundoing the sin that sharks are
bad Bye.
No, they're not allowed to killsharks.
That was the point of thisepisode.
Hello Welcome to Richard and Carl Present Deep
Space and Dragons and Sharks.
I'm Richard.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
And I am Carl, I'm not a shark.
Speaker 1 (00:16):
If we get copyright struck because your ringtone
played and it picked it up aspart of our intro, that'd be the
funniest thing in the world, sowe're leaving it there.
It triggered your theme music.
It's like I'm Carl and it waslike if that was Inspector
Gadget instead, it would havebeen flawless.
So before I go into the minutiaof theme songs, what's new in
(00:38):
the Carlverse?
Speaker 2 (00:43):
What's new in the Carlverse?
Well, I don't remember if Isaid this on stream or if I said
the post stream, or priest, oranyways.
Point of the matter is, um, youand I had uh done some work on
creating a sort of uh rock paperscissors card game.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
I think we have two episodes on that for anyone who
keeps track of our show, whichis not us.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
We do not, but so I've been buying a lot of Magic
cards lately and when you openthe packs you get like literal
garbage cards.
So I think our viewersabsolutely know.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
Oh, there was a quip I was going to make when Magic
inevitably came up in thisepisode and I need to say it oh,
Magic the Gathering, nowfeaturing 50% less Magic the
Gathering.
So true, Literally that's theiractual market plan.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
You get the literal garbage cards.
Um, I I've collected enoughthat I can sleeve 200 uh cards
and they're all garbage cards,which means that they won't be
able to use for anything else.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
Uh, and so small there's like 200 cards in a
random shoe box that we use asan ottoman.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
Yeah, but those aren't technically garbage cards
.
I thought you rolled the cardsthat tell you what you can do on
your turn or give you coollittle mini-game shoes.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
Oh, I thought you meant garbage cards, like look
at me, I'm a 3-3 ape for four.
No, no, you mean literalgarbage.
Yeah, Like kills our planet andlenders microplastics in
exchange for knowing how a sagaworks.
Okay, got it.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I, I, I happen to have, well I, I
I'm not sure if I actually have200 or not yet, because I only
needed 92 action cards and 40field cards.
And then I just made my littletemplate in Inkscape, because
(02:50):
it's excellent free software.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
Oh yeah, not a sponsor, just a fan, as someone
who has to use the Adobe Cloudfor work.
Also.
Not a sponsor, less of a fan.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
But so I may have used some AI as placeholders for
my icons, but it's not for anycommercial purpose, so it
doesn't really matter.
I laid out my cards and then Iprinted them off and I cut them
with my paper cutter, whichdoesn't cut straight.
It makes me a little sad.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
Is there a joke here, somewhere, somewhere?
I'll figure it out later well,no, it's just literally like I
lined it up perfectly and it'slike no, that's just not
straight so we had a papercutter back when I was in
tutoring at redacted, doingredacted, and it's like it would
give up about the fifth pieceof paper down and we were
cutting out these like skew ourcoast to scan and I understand.
(03:46):
I understand the frustrationthat we have the technology to
use plastic filament to print aworking Rubik's Cube but we
can't cut paper.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Well, a little side tangent.
It is a I think it was like a$15 paper cutter, so I'm kind of
surprised it has a metal bladeat all.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
I mean counter-counterpoint that
technology was available in theStone Age.
Well, technically, the Iron Age, if we want to be pedantic.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
But the point of the matter is that I cut out all
these cards and I made my fiancéhelp me sleeve them up, and
then we tried it out.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
That's quite a plot, that's only with two players
yeah, yeah yeah, you still havea fiancee after that.
That's quite a plot twist.
Oh she, she beat me correct.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
Okay, we're good again I mean, she wasn't
particularly helpful in terms ofgame testing because she didn't
really give me any specificelements that she liked or
disliked, and most of hercomments were more so about the
graphic design of the cards thanthe actual gameplay.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
Well, what's interesting is, as a writer, I'm
no stranger to getting goodreviews.
I get a lot of good reviews andI also got that this book has
made me stop reading fiction.
So you know, not all feedbacknecessarily needs to be worked
into a dev cycle.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Although ironically.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
I then got published for nonfiction, so maybe there's
something to it.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
Well, I mean basically, I think I want to
playtest it with more people,but it's like I printed a bunch
of draw three cards type drawcard Draw cards.
I guess is what I'm going tosay A lot of greed and I
realized it's much moreefficient just to have each
(05:37):
player draw up to seven at theend of their turn.
Okay, and then it actuallymaintains a quick paced game.
I don't know.
It definitely needs sometweaking and I want to play test
with more experienced gamers.
(05:59):
There you go did it for you yeah, yeah, I mean, like I said, I
love playing games with myfiancé, but she's not very it's
difficult to get useful feedbackfor game design.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
On the plot side, the version of reality, where your
fiancé goes through everyepisode of Deep Space and
Dragons.
Either they truly, truly loveyou or it's just not happening.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Oh, it's definitely not happening.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
She has no idea what you and I talk about I mean,
anyone who's met us can probablyassume it's pretty
straightforward.
It's not like we're going inhere talking about string theory
.
Well maybe, but we're not rightabout it uh.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
But then the other thing that's new with me uh, and
somewhat related, but notreally uh is one of the magic
packs that I cracked actuallyhad a $90 card in it.
So I need a pause.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
I want to tell you what I thought the story was
going with the information yougave me.
I thought, you were about tosay, you cracked a pack that had
a card in it with a QR code foran Audible subscription, which
you used to purchase Jaws.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
No, no, no, no, jaws, I haven't rented from the
public library on the Libby app.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
Hashtag libraries.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Yeah, hashtag libraries, saskatoon is getting
a new one instead of plowing ourresidential streets.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
Good, no, I'm on Team Library.
You see, the thing aboutSaskatchewan is and this is a
comedy show for all ourlisteners out there I don't
really care if people die, butthey do need to be better read,
that's just the fact, that isthe correct place for the money
to go.
Where it shouldn't go is addingin and then removing bike lanes
(07:43):
, but that's a story for anotherday.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Uh, I'm conflicted about the whole library thing,
but I I find myself conflictedabout most things, so it's not
nothing new libraries are sick.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
Find something else to be conflicted about be like
uh it's, I understand that theybought a library, but also they
should all take a 30% pay cut toplow the streets.
Speaker 2 (08:09):
Well, yeah, it would be nice if they took a pay cut
to make the budget balanceinstead of raising taxes and not
plowing streets.
But anyways, that's not reallythe point.
The point is that I pulled a$90 card out of of a pack and
then I begrudgingly uh, tradedit into collector's lane for
store credit I know collector'slane not a sponsor I just the
(08:38):
dude is kind of a like a.
He doesn't really actually seemto care about his customers.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
You see, what's funny about that is I know one of our
audience members has a directconnection to Collectors Lane,
so for that one viewer he justfeels so happy right now, just
him specifically, and I lovethat for him.
He's like I was not thinkingI'd listen to a podcast today
and hear people talk smack aboutthe collector's lane guy
vindicated anyways, um, I mean,besides that, what's new with me
(09:12):
is it's actually kind ofongoing.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
I'm 75 done reading jaws, um, but that's that's uh,
unless you don't feel likediscussing anything.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
That's new in the richard verse well, I mean, I do
have interesting things in therichard verse, but fine well, no
, I'm I'm interested in therichard verse.
That's a pretty good day yeah,but that's a pretty passive,
aggressive like well, if youdon't want to tell me about your
day, we can get into the funtopic.
I'm like, wow, like.
(09:43):
So today I starred in a filmand it was an experience.
So the first thing happens iswe book a room and just hang up
a green screen on the wall thatI'm pretty sure is just a green
blanket and clothes pins.
So step one is just standing onchairs and assembling the
screen screen in this randomoffice room.
So it's not like a a studioPicture, the most businessexe
(10:06):
meeting room, and we just decidewe're using this to shoot this
video.
After clipping this greenscreen on, they set up a tripod.
So when you set up a tripod,what do you think comes next?
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Setting up the camera .
Speaker 1 (10:22):
Nope, putting a cell phone in the tripod.
Why?
Speaker 2 (10:25):
would you use a?
Speaker 1 (10:25):
camera.
When cell phones exist, whywould I expect?
Speaker 2 (10:28):
a tripod.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
So my brain's just like huh.
I really thought RedactedInstitute's Redacted program
with its cutting-edge Redactedwould use more than a cell phone
.
But I'll say cell phones kindof have comically good cameras
in them now.
So the newest iPhone probablyin fact is better than most
people's actual cameras if thecamera's a couple years old.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
Yeah, that's fair.
The image processing is kind ofinsane.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
So they set up this camera, they set up this cool
like USB-C to wireless lapel micon me and, as I begin reading
the thing, one of my coworkerswho, for the record, his field
is not media- at all, but thisman and I have talked in extreme
length about every Marvel movie, to the point of watching
(11:14):
Daredevil during a shift.
If that's what gets me fired, sobe it.
So he decides that this is hisdirector moment.
We don't have a teleprompter oranything of that nature, and we
don't want to have me lookingat a script.
So he's holding a laptop abovehis head, standing behind the
camera, with the script on it.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
And then, between cuts, he's giving director
feedback.
So the first piece of feedbackhe gives me is like no, no,
don't be Richard the person.
Be Richard the person.
Be Richard the actor.
Emote accentuate your emotions.
And the two actual, like peoplewho know what they're doing.
Look at, I'm like what are youtalking about?
Why are you even here?
Which is true, by the way.
He wasn't actually supposed tobe there, but he decided this is
(11:55):
director moment and I wasn'tgoing to stop him.
So we do our first cut and thenhe's like no, you need the
energy you had when you rantedto me earlier about the bike
lanes.
Channel that rage.
I'm like we're talking aboutcreating done lists.
Channel the rage, Richard.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (12:14):
So I do.
I give my passion speech abouthow to-do lists are bullshit and
it's all about the done list,where you celebrate what you
achieved instead of settingyourself up for disappointment.
And he's like all right, whatare you even doing with your
hands?
And you'd be accentuating pointat them.
You can make a difference.
And then at one point theentire film crews on the ground
(12:35):
laughing Cause he's just superseriously tried to direct this
two minute long educationalspotlight on done lists.
And this is his opus magnus andwe're recording it one line at
a time because of like, werecord like a few lines at a
time.
so in editing they can editbecause doing it a one take is
(12:57):
actually less good than if youhave three takes for each line,
kind of thing or more like thisis just how the film students
have decided.
They're doing it, and I believethem.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
Right.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Plus, our teleprompter, being a laptop,
means it can really only show mea paragraph at a time, because
he didn't have the coordinationto hold it above his head and
scroll through it.
So the line of sight wascorrect, and then the phone
blocked out a chunk of thescript, so I just had, like,
most of the words and had tolike calculate the missing chunk
of words for the script that Ihad almost had memorized at this
(13:30):
point, but I was weirdlynervous because I was being
filmed see our podcast is gonnago shocking to people isn't
scripted.
If it was scripted, this wouldbe much harder, and if it was
scripted and I wasn't allowed tolook at the script, it would be
much, much harder that is trueso we managed to record this
(13:51):
video with everyone pretty muchbeing winded, and then one of my
co-workers was like hey, areyou coming to staff yoga?
I'm like what do you mean, staffyoga?
So it turns out my boss is ayoga instructor and then all
four of us that worked then wentand did a yoga class and
something about the having thelike 90 transition rate from
(14:13):
co-workers to then doing a yogaclass was kind of majestic, out
of concept and like I've had abit of a sore back lately for
being a lazy slob, so it seemedlike a good idea to use my human
form for a while before Iascend to potato or master hand
status.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Yeah, so that was my day today specifically was
mostly recording this videowhich was just so delightful.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
We also did like an outreach event where, like I
warmed up talking to people,which is why this video be like
richard emotion channel it.
I'm like I've never had someoneever tell me that I need to put
more into something okay.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
So now just out of curiosity, this uh bike lane
rant was that saskatoon relatedor toronto related?
Speaker 1 (15:01):
ah man, I'm gonna go into toronto politics, but it's
only fair we go intosaskatchewan politics a lot.
So our acting premier, douglasforteskill, or whatever the hell
his name is, or dougie, or reallife homer simpson, whatever
you want to do, not a fan ofthis man, not a sponsor of my
show had this idea, so a whileback, don't call him Dougie,
(15:21):
that's like the name of a famoushomeless guy, meh.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
He was famous in Saskatoon anyways.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
TLDR In downtown Toronto, they set up what were
effectively like safety spikesin the bike lanes.
So there is dedicated bikelanes for bikes to go through,
because each person on a bike isone less car.
Setting up these bike lanescost the city, I don't know
probably $111 million, the exactamount certain institutions
could use to fix their financialtroubles, which is why I like
(15:53):
looping back to this, rantingabout it.
So he decides that these bikelanes Aren't working because
traffic's too congested.
So he's paying another.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
I really, I really, I really I can say, to say 111.
Speaker 1 (16:12):
Sorry, you cut out like you went so passionate that
it seems like there's a legacy.
Would you please re-ask thequestion, sir?
Sorry, you cut out Like youwent so passionate that it seems
like there's a legacy.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
Would you please re-ask the question, sir.
It wasn't a question and itwasn't like.
Anyway, 11 to 1 is a muchbetter way to say 111.
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
It's funny because there's like a lag spike with
this.
I'm like, oh no, no, he'ssaying like he's, he's speaking
in tongues, he's being overcome.
11 t1.
11 t1 was what the delivery was.
This joke.
I really hope someone laughsbecause I'm like, wow, we just
fought, like I desperately ispanicking.
Our internet connection died for11 t1 but yes so 11 $111
(16:56):
million was set putting in thesebike lanes and now he's
spending another $111 million topull them back out again to try
and fix the traffic thatthey're set up to fix.
So it's like they literallymade a massive project, didn't
like it and then they're payingto get rid of the massive
project.
And I'm not even arguingwhether bike lanes are good they
are, or that traffic is baddowntown it is.
(17:18):
It's the idea that someonewould implement a fix that costs
a bunch of money and then spenda bunch of money to just
control Z the fix, instead ofhaving a third solution of some
sort, especially when redacted.
Educational institutions couldvery much use some government
support right now as mostcolleges did.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
What Redacted?
Speaker 1 (17:40):
had to do and just gut the programs.
So that's a rant for anotherday because conflict of interest
.
So TLDR, I hate the bike lanething so much.
It's kind of like when RedactedFortikens decided that we need
to sell alcohol at a cornerstores and gas stations and what
have you?
Sure, the LCBO liquor boardmight have had a monopoly.
(18:01):
Whatever you can argue the prosand the cons, what you can't
argue is this cost them hundredsof millions of dollars in
subsidies he gave out to theliquor store so they wouldn't go
bankrupt from the other storesselling liquor now.
So this program to sell alcoholcosts millions of dollars.
The idea to give a license forstores to sell alcohol somehow
(18:22):
cost us tax money, which wassupposed to make us tax money.
That was the point.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
Right Bizarre.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
But I did buy wine with a bear with an eye patch on
it from the gas station andused that to make a pork roast
the other day.
So, last new thing with me.
So I've never been the biggestfan of wine, but I don't know
what's happened either.
It's because I hit the rightage.
I burned the roof of my mouththe exact correct number of
(18:52):
times, but when I was at awedding recently, I realized
that I now enjoy wine, whichmeans I either took brain damage
, tongue damage or mouth damage.
So the red wine that I didn'tuse for marinating this
delicious pork roast I thendrank with the bear on it and I
know no one will tell me it'sgood wine.
But I just have this suspicion,this feeling from life I've
(19:14):
lived so far that the higherfanciness rating something has,
traditionally the less deliciousit is, and I just feel like the
cheaper garbage or wine isprobably actually better In my
experience eating food.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
You're probably right .
Speaker 1 (19:35):
It's like I want the wine that tastes like I can't
handle wine.
I can see that, but maybe youhaven't burned your mouth
exactly the right way yet,because this was like a magical
transformation.
I don't know when or how ithappened, because it's not like
I've had a wine drinking budget.
Maybe it's when I got publishedas an author.
I just became more tolerant toalcohol.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
I feel like I would need a whole new mouth, because,
no matter how good the winetastes on the front, there's an
aftertaste.
That's a part of thefermentation process.
I just no, I can't do it.
It also ruins fondue.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
We did have this discussion, so let's pivot to
sharks, just abruptly out ofnowhere.
So what are your top threefavorite sharks?
Speaker 2 (20:22):
Out of nowhere my top three favorite sharks.
Well, I mean the street sharksare pretty ballin'.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
I'm going to count that as one because that feels
good.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
The animatronic shark from Sharknado is number two
From Sharknado and there's this.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
No, sorry from Jaws I don't know why I said Sharknado
.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
I was thinking Sharknado.
For some reason, can you?
Speaker 1 (20:47):
imagine if Sharknado dropped animatronic sharks from
the sky on people.
Oh man, that would be sick.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
But my number three, favorite shark.
A Dollarama has these littletubes of candy and then on the
top there's a little shark mouthand you push the button and it
lunges and bites stuff.
I was a little bit sad Icouldn't find any of those this
year for stocking stuffers.
They usually come out aroundHalloween, so I guess I just so.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
According to the internet, the shark from Jaws
was named Bruce.
Speaker 2 (21:18):
Those are good sharks , huh, so Top three favorite
sharks?
I don't.
I'm mostly kidding about that,but I mean like You're not sure
that you are, and that's fine.
When I'm on the spot, I can'treally.
Speaker 1 (21:37):
Well, we can continue along and then see if more
sharks are coming.
When I'm on the spot.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
It's like oh, how many sharks have I actually seen
?
Can you name at least threedifferent sharks?
Speaker 1 (21:45):
So I'm going to start with King Shark from the Harley
Quinn adaptation of the DCUniverse, specifically the one
who is a hacker.
Then I'm gonna pivot to Okay,uh, I can do this, I believe in
me.
I wanna say just the land shark, which was the recurring SNL
(22:05):
gag, but also there's Marvel'strying to push this baby shark
character, who's very adorable,adorable, whose name I'm losing
right now Jeff the Baby LandShark.
Speaker 2 (22:26):
Now I gotta look this up.
I haven't heard nothing aboutthis.
Jeff the Baby Land Shark.
Speaker 1 (22:33):
Jeff the Land Shark, also known as Jeffrey, is a
character and he's been likeshowing up in like new Marvel.
Jeff the Landshark, also knownas Jeffrey, is a character.
Huh, and he's been showing upin new Marvel games and things.
Because, besides that, that'sjust the character they're going
to push and I can get on boardand I'm going to say Kasame from
(22:56):
Bleach is my third shark.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
Okay, I didn't think about Kasami.
Kasami is a way better sharkthan the.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
Dollarama Candy yeah, but less good than King Shark.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
Shafted Lion Shark is adorable.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
So I want you to know when I looked up famous anime
sharks.
Kasami showed up at the top ofthat list, above the humanoid
shark from Toriko who his namewas like shark for Shuku you
know, I don't even remember thatcharacter and I did read Toriko
from start to finish.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
I'm pretty sure there was a shark, but that's not the
point the point is that themovie Jaws is based on a book.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
What.
Speaker 2 (23:44):
Also named Jaws.
Speaker 1 (23:46):
No way.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
This is just a little tangent.
There's a movie called theShawshank Redemption and I
thought it was a really goodmovie.
Apparently, it wasn't very wellreceived when it came out.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
That is wild to me because that is like iconic
movie.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
Yeah, I know, uh, but I didn't notice.
But it's based on a StephenKing novel, uh, called Rita
Hayworth and the ShawshankRedemption, because Rita
Hayworth is the actress.
Speaker 1 (24:17):
All movies, statistically, statistically
speaking, are inspired byStephen King book.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
That's just numbers nope, see, jaws is not by
Stephen King.
Jaws, I'm going to bring it upright now, is by Peter.
Peter Benchley seems fishy well.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
I see, apparently he was like he really liked sharks.
It was by Peter Benchley, seemsfishy.
Speaker 2 (24:39):
Well, apparently he really liked sharks and then he
wrote his book Jaws and it kindof did okay, and then they made
the movie and then the bookreally took off and then a whole
bunch of people went andstarted hunting sharks and he
was all like that's not what Iwanted to happen from my book.
And so he spent the rest of hislife doing like shark
conservation.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
I do love that like.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
That's rather fantastic of him um, but so, uh,
there there was quite a bit cutfrom the book, so I'm
apparently 88% done, 88% done,which is 88% done, which is
about how much is left of theaverage Jaws victim.
That means I'm on page 552 outof 630.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
That's pretty close to the end I enjoy when I get to
feel like a concise writerbecause I'm like cool.
I told three plot arcs.
He fought one fish.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
Well, you see, there's a lot more going on in
the book than there is in themovie, Because in the movie the
mayor just kind of seems like agreedy jackass In the book.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
He's under threat from the Shark Yakuza.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
He borrowed money from the mafia and so you just
cut out on.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
He borrowed money from the mafia.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
And they're like oh no, you don't need to pay us
back.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
But they're just like , hey, just like, buy my back in
, am I going?
Speaker 2 (26:23):
yeah, we're good we're good, the mafia released.
You am I blurbing.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
I think you're good.
I think you're ready to go.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
Please continue well, so that.
So the uh, the mafia gets himto buy up a bunch of property in
the town and then they're goingto sell it when the market
booms during the summer to makea profit.
But then the shark shuts downthe beaches.
So they're trying to get him toreopen the beaches because
otherwise their properties willgo bust, which for them isn't a
(26:50):
problem because they don'tactually have any money in it,
but for the mayor is a hugeproblem.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
See, that's kind of funny.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
I don't know where that's going to go yet.
Speaker 1 (26:57):
That feels pretty Batman villain or Scooby-Doo
villain, depending on how muchblood there is.
Speaker 2 (27:04):
Well, the mafia did snap the neck of the chief of
police's cat to send a messageto him to not stop the beaches
from being open.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
I would kill the entire mafia for that.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
Yeah.
So then he hires the crazyshark guy Quint and they go out
and do their shark stuff on theboat.
But meanwhile the marinebiologist from the movie for
whatever reason he is sleepingwith the chief of police's wife.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
Sure, why not?
Speaker 2 (27:43):
And the chief of police is suspicious of what's
going on there.
But they're on the boat withthis Quint fellow and the
Quint's just kind of beenlaughing at them for their
interpersonal drama and I'm like, oh man, is this gonna like end
up with someone dying to thechief of police instead of to
(28:05):
the shark?
But it's like nope.
When the marine biologist goesdown into the, into the cage, uh
, the shark kills him right downin there, busts his cage open
and just and that was the singlebiggest surprise to me
difference between the movie andthe book, where it was like
(28:27):
wait a second.
In the movie the marinebiologist survived and this one
not so much okay, okay good, Iwas thinking that might be like
a and this one not so much.
Okay, good, I was thinking thatmight be a huge lag spike or
something.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
No, I think we're good, but I do have to let you
in on a piece of information,and I hope you're sitting.
Speaker 2 (28:47):
Okay, there's six Sharknado movies.
I knew there were five and Ithink it's maybe the third one
when they start doing weird timetravel shenanigans.
Speaker 1 (29:02):
The final Sharknado movie is called the Last
Sharknado.
It's About Time, which is atime traveling movie about
traveling back in time toprevent Sharknados.
Speaker 2 (29:15):
I knew there was time travel in at least one of them.
The main character's son getstaken to the Sharknado and then
comes back as an adult portrayedby Dolph Lundgren it's amazing.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
So let's go on to the topic of shark movies a little
more esoterically here my firstquestion to you is this After
Jaws came out.
The shark movie of person getsterrorized by shark and then
killed with fire extinguisher.
Allowing fire extinguishers toexplode in every video game ever
made sense.
My question to you is do weever need to make another shark
(29:53):
movie?
Where were you done?
Speaker 2 (30:01):
make another shark movie.
Where were you done like?
Um, well, I mean mecha shark.
That series of movies is pretty, pretty fantastic.
Can't go wrong with mech shark.
Um, movies about megalodons, Imean, yeah, the megalodon.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
So the job was a very large shark but well, let's
talk about the meg, themegalodon movie with, with Jason
Statham in it, that tried totake itself completely seriously
.
So Megalodon being giant deathshark is basically.
We took Jaws and made it into akaiju movie and I love me a
(30:29):
good kaiju movie and I love me abad kaiju movie.
But the Meg was a bland kaijumovie which is completely
unacceptable.
Like Mega Shark vs GiantOctopus, I can get behind Like a
shark leaping to attack a plane.
That's peak cinema.
Speaker 2 (30:46):
But Meg 2,.
Speaker 1 (30:47):
The Trench does not get to be peak cinema because it
forgets to be dumb.
But there's kind of like aspectrum for shark movies, A
serious dumb spectrum, and Ithink the serious stopped.
I think Jaws was the onlyserious shark movie that
successfully existed.
Speaker 2 (31:07):
I believe the movie is called Deep Blue Sea.
I think it has Samuel L Jackson.
Let me look it up though.
Speaker 1 (31:14):
Yeah, deep Blue Sea, the sci-fi horror featuring
genetically engineered sharks ofsuper intelligence in an
underwater lab, is not a seriousmovie, no matter how much it
pretends it is, because this isa movie about genetically
engineered sharks withheightened intelligence in an
underwater lab.
What makes it funny is thatevery character plays it
(31:35):
completely seriously unawarethat they're in a movie about
genetically engineered sharkswith heightened intelligence
creating chaos in an underwaterlab.
They might as well havefreaking laser beams on them
you're right.
Speaker 2 (31:50):
There doesn't really seem to be that much more room
for serious shark movies,because people aren't really
scared of sharks anymore norshould they be.
Speaker 1 (31:59):
That was a.
He dedicated his life's workafter jaws explaining that they
should not be so my question toyou is would you ever, if you
were challenged?
We need to make a serious,serious shark movie.
How would you do it?
Serious shark movie how Causeit's easy to do a comedy Like
(32:20):
I'd have that gun.
That's a laser pointer thatmakes sharks come out of the
water and eat people.
Speaker 2 (32:24):
Hmm, I do also like the sharks that can just swim in
like ankle deep water.
Speaker 1 (32:30):
Yep.
That's the very concept of ashark NATO is like they jumped
the shark.
The very concept of a Sharknadois like they jump the shark.
Also, jumping the shark is justa hilarious trope to begin with
.
Speaker 2 (32:39):
Hmm, but how would you make a serious shark movie?
Speaker 1 (32:45):
Like the Megalodon, tried to be a serious one, but
no, a Megalodon's a stupid enemy.
Because here's the thing aboutall shark movies the sharks have
a very specific weakness that,when exploited, renders the
concept of the movie defeatedcompletely.
Speaker 2 (33:00):
You go on land.
Well, I mean, that doesn't workfor MechaShark.
Speaker 1 (33:06):
Well, yeah, but good luck making a serious MechaShark
movie.
I'd be so proud of you.
That's why people are like ShinGodzilla is like an actual
serious movie, won a bunch ofawards.
I'm like nah, I'll takeGodzilla vs Kong any day.
I'm sorry If you're using ashark as a metaphor for
loneliness and despair, sure, Iguess.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
Well, I mean.
So the only answer would be tohave the people in a situation
where they can't get away fromthe shark, such as Deep Blue Sea
, or they're in the underwaterlab.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
I mean I'd probably try and do the classic horror
trope of keeping the monstersnot shown as often as possible.
I'd probably do a Poseidonadventure thing where they're in
an upside-down sinking ship andhave to swim to sections and
then people just explode inclouds of blood, sinking ship
and have to swim to sections andthen just people just explode
in clouds of blood, like it'slike I would never reveal it was
a shark and that's what wouldmake it horrifying.
(34:02):
It's just dying horribly becauseyour friend slipped, and then
you just see an arm in bloodBecause, like, that's one way to
do it.
I mean, the other way to do itis like you have two sharks and
they were in love for years andthen they grew old together.
But after his wife shark dies,the husband shark decides to go
(34:24):
on one last adventure with alittle kid.
Speaker 2 (34:28):
Yeah, I mean I don't Okay.
Okay, I mean, an animated movieIs not inherently unserious.
Speaker 1 (34:37):
I love how, like you don't even call me out on Up,
but Sharks, you're like no, no,okay, let's play this for a bit.
Speaker 2 (34:45):
Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah yeah, I mean, you know, like I
was kind of thinking thatTalking Sharks would ruin the
bit, but if it's actually just amovie about sharks A la
Watership Down.
Speaker 1 (34:56):
Oh damn, because my brain went Finding Nemo but it's
like oh no, watership Downdidn't give a fuck, like that
should have the horror tag on itwhich is a statement you
wouldn't think of.
Yeah no, if you wrote a sharkmovie with the intentional
classic Winnie the Pooh.
Nightmare-esque 2D animationWith the objective of
(35:22):
traumatizing children.
Speaker 2 (35:23):
Oh, that'd be a good movie, though Sharkship Down, I
don't know.
No, I think you'd call itsomething like Blood and Fang?
No, no, it has to bedeceptively tranquil.
It'd be something like bloodand fang.
Speaker 1 (35:37):
no no, it has to be deceptively tranquil.
Speaker 2 (35:39):
It'd be something like abandon ship down nope,
that doesn't that I don't knowif that's deceptively tranquil,
um, but we'll go with it, darklagoon, so I don't think sharks
(36:00):
live in lagoons true, but nowthat we're on the topic of
sharks, just random shark,insert ideas.
Speaker 1 (36:06):
Because, like, the thing about shark movies is yeah
, no, they're all basicallyeither jaws or sharknado and
they fall on the jaws orsharknado spectrum.
Speaker 2 (36:13):
That's kind of the only way it goes yeah, but I
mean there's just fewer andfewer jaws shark movies, because
they get less good each time?
Speaker 1 (36:25):
how?
Speaker 2 (36:25):
do you actually make it?
Well, how do you make somethingnew with a shark aside from
going completely outside the box, like we just did with our
watership down shark movie, orthey did with which I hope?
Speaker 1 (36:36):
materializes.
Oh yeah, like like this wouldbe.
If you can manifest that,that's so cursed, though that's
the thing we manifest next, likeit's amazing, but like we did
this and it's a problem, becausenow we have to live with that
what if it turns out to be acinematic masterpiece?
Oh yeah, that's fair.
Maybe I should write it.
(36:56):
I should just write like akid's book about sharks.
That's just stupid dark, justcomically dark.
But here's my shark questionfor you, since we can do random
shark questions.
What video game.
Would you add a playablecharacter as a regular shark to?
Speaker 2 (37:16):
What video game?
Oh, Echo the Dolphin.
Speaker 1 (37:22):
That feels like See, I was kind of trying to text
your creativity.
If we're just going best,sharks in games like yeah, no,
Echo, the Dolphin Sharks justmake sense, so sharks make an
equal amount of sense in DonkeyKong Country when you pilot the
shark and dodge the sharks.
Speaker 2 (37:40):
Wait okay so shark playable characters.
Speaker 1 (37:45):
Yeah, let's go shark.
Playable characters Say theymade a DFO game, but you had to
pick a different kind of seamonster.
Would that be a good game?
Speaker 2 (37:52):
Well, yeah, I was just thinking Bioshock, but you
controlled the sharks to dopuzzles in the water outside the
outside the dome.
Speaker 1 (38:01):
I appreciate shark puzzles I also appreciate just
having a shark in smash brosthat just swims around and
wherever he moves it's justwater and jumps out in sharks
people well, I mean for forsmash bros.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
Uh, you know, like super mar, mario, 3d World had
the 3D blocks of moving water.
So it'd just be like your sharkcould be a block of moving
water and then it could jump outof the water to attack people.
That'd be cool.
Yeah, playable shark in SmashBros, I could see it.
Speaker 1 (38:37):
Although it'd probably just end up being
Sharpedo.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
That's a good point.
Sharpedo doesn't need water,though he's not a real shark.
Speaker 1 (38:49):
I mean he's a shark and a torpedo fused together.
He's about as legitimate asanything on the Sharknado list
or Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus.
Speaker 2 (39:00):
Fair enough.
Speaker 1 (39:04):
When it comes down to it, it's kind of funny.
In real life a large animal isterrifying and it's so hard to
translate that to fiction.
If you see a bear in real life,it is the most terrifying,
harrowing experience you'll eversee.
And then Cocaine Bear ends upbeing the dumbest movie of the
year.
Speaker 2 (39:22):
Oh yeah, Cocaine Bear was pretty stupid.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
I mean, I love the concept Speaking of bears
actually.
That's a pivot.
Speaker 2 (39:31):
Well, no, just the guy who wrote Watership Down I
think it was the next book hewrote it was called Shardik and
it was about a mystical bear,wrote was.
It was called Shardic and itwas about this.
It was about a mystical bearthat everybody was like
worshipping, and I don't reallyremember much about it, except
that it was weird and it wasabout a bear instead of rabbits,
(39:52):
but yeah, that's fair.
Speaker 1 (39:56):
I do think this will be a little bit shorter thing
because like sure we could gointo great white shark versus
genetically engineered shark.
If a shark had a superheroorigin story, what powers would
it have and what's actuallywe're going to do with that one?
If a shark had a superheroorigin story, what powers would
it have and what would its namebe?
So I'm going to start with thelazy one as an example not my
(40:20):
actual entry, but so peterparker.
The spider descends down to givehim the heroic bite, but he
slips backwards and falls in ashark tank and the spider bites
the shark, creating spider sharkwho has all the powers of
spider-man okay, it is stilljust a regular shark spider
shark is cool.
Speaker 2 (40:39):
Uh, I was kind of thinking more along the lines of
uh, it'd be like um terranshark, it'd be like the opposite
of aquaman, you'd have teletelepathic powers to control the
creatures of the land.
Speaker 1 (40:56):
To control the creatures of the land.
Okay, I'd love a terror shark,who was born of a human, like no
, it'd be like a land.
Their parents would literallyhave to be like Earthian royalty
and a shark to work.
Yeah, terror shark's prettytopped here, so I was gonna go a
(41:19):
different direction with it.
It'd be like Ruki Akuchiki wasan average Soul Reaper until the
Shark's family were about to bekilled by Hollows and she
transferred her Shinigami powersto the Shark to create the
Shark Reaper Just a regularShark with Soul Reaper powers,
yeah, okay.
I think we've realized, though,that the less intelligent it is
(41:42):
the better.
The shark superhero plays Likejust a shark in an Iron man
costume is amazing.
Speaker 2 (41:51):
I mean, I'm also kind of a fan of like Batman Begins,
but Batman's a shark when hisparents are killed in an
alleyway, yeah, and then he getstrained by a league of
assassins.
Which is amazing, he comes backas a sort of ninja vigilante.
Speaker 1 (42:12):
So here's another random shark question, because I
took some random questions andjust inserted shark.
Speaker 2 (42:19):
So you're designing an?
Speaker 1 (42:20):
RPG with a shark as a playable character.
What class do you make theshark?
Rogue, warrior, wizard or mage?
Ooh so you feel?
Like wizard's the best one,except a shark dressed up like a
ninja using sneak attack onpeople is amazing.
Speaker 2 (42:41):
I was going to say like, uh, wizard wizard seems
like the pretty obvious one, butalso so, uh, I don't know,
shark warrior, that doesn'tthat's kind of lame.
Hmm, yeah, I think I am goingto go with the shark wizard,
cause I mean the shark in thewizard hat, like, if you're just
(43:01):
imagining jeffrey the shark,jeffrey the land shark, uh, with
wearing the cute little wizardhat like he's, that's, that's
pretty top tier.
Speaker 1 (43:10):
That is pretty top tier.
Here's another question if youwere a shark in pirate infested
waters, how would you protectyourself?
Speaker 2 (43:20):
a shark in pirate infested waters.
Speaker 1 (43:22):
Yeah, you're just living your life.
You're a shark, and thenpirates encroach on your
territory.
What is your plan of action?
Speaker 2 (43:30):
What is my plan of action?
Speaker 1 (43:31):
Because I love the mental image of a shark pushing
expired cannonballs into likeunderwater geysers so it
launches them back up to blowholes in the ship oh yeah,
that's a good point.
Uh yeah, because sharks wouldhave wonder how deep sharks can
go I mean this shark needs to bepretty top tier for my plan to
work in all its glory but but no, no, no, no, you need to like.
Speaker 2 (44:04):
The rogue shark just seems kind of like it's the best
move, you know, because ifyou're just like being stealthy
going underneath their boat andthen just occasionally just
tapping it with your tail, youknow, until you find a weak spot
and crack it open.
Speaker 1 (44:19):
I mean, yes, that's one way to do it, but it's much
funnier if they're walking tothe mess hall, open the pantry
and a shark just jumps out atthem and then flops back into
the water.
It's like what's going, likethat's just peak TV.
Also the shark barbarian whenhe throws a spear at it and it
just catches it in its mouth andthrows it back.
(44:39):
But I think we'll wrap up thisfishy episode here with some of
our more traditional, lessshark-themed random questions.
All right, so as I pull up thelist.
Speaker 2 (44:58):
Just start shouting off awesome names for your pet
shark.
Speaker 1 (45:02):
Wait, I got a name for my pet shark.
Speaker 2 (45:03):
Yeah, I gotta name my pet shark.
Speaker 1 (45:03):
Yeah, I just transferred you a shark.
What are you naming the shark?
Speaker 2 (45:09):
Uh, hmm, spot.
Spot's a good name for a shark.
I don't know Claude, I likeClaude.
Speaker 1 (45:20):
You know I don't know why I also thought of Claude.
That's like I'm pretty sure mynext pet's probably going to be
named Claude.
It's just like such a good petname that's random, but I mean I
guess that's.
You know, we've been friendsfor a long time, so I guess we
must be oh, speaking of, I wroteanother Carl character into a
(45:42):
and it's a funny editor's note Igot Because you know I'm
working on this novel right, andI sent you the rough draft of
the Hangman story a while back.
So, now with a character namedCarl in the Hangman story.
You know how I'm killing thisCarl Peacefully in his sleep of
natural causes.
No one will ever see thatcoming.
He dies having lived afulfilled life.
Speaker 2 (46:06):
Wait, wait, wait.
The hangman story wasn't theone where he decides to go
outside to see whether or nothe's dreaming, is it?
Speaker 1 (46:14):
It is so.
Instead it's, he dies away.
He passes away peacefully inhis sleep, having never left.
Speaker 2 (46:21):
Oh Well, I mean, that's a nice way for me to die,
I guess.
Speaker 1 (46:25):
It's much more traumatic for the other one
who's used to people die, thecaptain, who's used to people
dying in dramatic fashion,watching his friends slowly
wither and die due to time.
So here's our random questionthat we received from listeners
like you or viewers who arewatching the subtitles on
YouTube with no audio for somereason.
Wait, wait, wait.
Speaker 2 (46:46):
I mean, does this person have like a tag name or
something, or is this like?
Do you mean like, give them acode name?
Speaker 1 (46:53):
Well, the thing is I don't like to dox people right,
so like I don't want to evername drop who gave us the
question, but I'm going to gowith Claude for the sake of this
conversation.
Claude Sharktoon.
Speaker 2 (47:07):
What is the weirdest?
Speaker 1 (47:08):
compliment you've ever received that you secretly
loved.
Speaker 2 (47:13):
Weirdest compliment you've ever received that you
secretly loved, huh Well, I mean, uh, my boss when I first
started working there.
So first I started at a pizzastore in a small town.
Speaker 1 (47:35):
What no way.
Speaker 2 (47:37):
Yeah, so I had some pizza store experience when I
came back to the much largerurban center of Saskatoon.
Ironically, it is actually like10 times larger, no, 20 times
larger than the town that Istarted in, anyways.
So he had never worked with mebefore.
(48:01):
He had no idea how, how well Iknew the menu and whatnot, uh.
So then, uh, making pizzas, andhe comes up to his wife, he's
like oh, hey, oh, this new guyis pretty fast, hey.
And then he just like walksaway and it's like that's the
closest thing you ever get to acompliment from my boss.
They'll just passive,aggressively, tell someone else
(48:22):
that you're awesome.
Speaker 1 (48:23):
I appreciate that I'm going to go with a recent one I
got, and I don't even thinkit's a compliment, I just took
it as a compliment.
So we had a meeting and for anicebreaker.
My boss asked everyone what isyour favorite fruit?
And then Plossin goes andRichard don't fucking say tomato
or avocado or olive.
(48:45):
And I took that as such acompliment that they had to put
a disclaimer that I wasimmediately going to say a
non-fruit to answer thisquestion, and they needed to be
clear that no, they're nottolerating any of my sass today,
so that one's not really acompliment, I just took it as a
compliment.
I think a weird compliment Igot today that I secretly loved
(49:06):
was I said something along thelines of we could do this method
or I could just do it, and theysaid, and I quote oh, thank
goodness, I was hoping you wouldsay you would just do it,
please just do it that is apretty good compliment.
Oh, please, just do it, please.
I'm like that is absolutely acompliment and that makes me
(49:27):
feel happy.
Yeah, and I think with that,that is our random questions,
that is our shark episode, and Ionly managed to work in like 10
of the water puns I was workingon.
Speaker 2 (49:44):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (49:46):
I managed to get the fin joke in there.
I managed to get the beach jokein there.
I managed to tell you that youbit off more than you can chew.
I was trying to figure out howto say hammerhead out the
details, so I'm just going tosay it at the end I definitely
did the whale.
I didn't see that coming?
Speaker 2 (50:06):
What are you talking about?
Speaker 1 (50:11):
What's cracking?
Speaker 2 (50:18):
Release your inhibitions.
That one's not really a waterpun, but yeah, you're pretty
sea-salty about it.
Oh I am, I'm amazing at mywater.
Pun Dang it.
(50:38):
I lost my flow.
Yeah that I lost my flow.
Speaker 1 (50:41):
Yeah, that's probably my bad.
It was rather jaw-dropping ofme, but you did finish strong
and thank you everyone who'sstill in this episode for some
reason, where it just evolvedinto complete nonsense at the
end.
Something Something, books andPatreon you'll figure it out.
Speaker 2 (50:59):
And self-care.
Make sure you hydrate.
Speaker 1 (51:02):
And don't kill sharks .
No, no, fighting sharks, don'tkill sharks.
He put his entire life intoundoing the sin that sharks are
bad Bye.
No, they're not allowed to killsharks.
That was the point of thisepisode.
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