April 3, 2025 • 28 mins
What happens when we surround ourselves with women who genuinely back our dreams? Our window of possibility expands beyond anything we could imagine alone.
In this soul-stirring conversation, Brenda and Catherine explore how witnessing others achieve what seems impossible fundamentally rewires what we believe is possible for ourselves.
Brenda shares a life-altering story about hosting a celebration in hospice for her dying grandmother after a friend suggested the idea of a "margarita party." This single suggestion transformed not just her grandmother's final day of consciousness into one filled with joy and connection, but changed her entire family's approach to death and celebration.
Episode Highlights:
• True sisterhood isn't just cheerleading but showing each other what's possible beyond our imagination
• Witnessing what's possible in others can be truly transformational
• Our socioeconomic background, education, and experiences create blind spots that limit our vision of what's possible
• The biggest challenge isn't seeing possibility but staying committed when things get hard
• Shifting perspective from "what can I get?" to "who am I becoming?" creates deeper fulfillment
• Whatever your current desire, remember you are already someone else's living possibility
We'd love to hear what resonated with you! Reach out through our DMs and let us know if there's anything specific about possibility you'd like us to discuss in future episodes.
How did you like this episode? Tell us everything, we'd love to hear from you.
If you'd like to learn more about 1:1 or group coaching with Brenda or Catherine message them and book a Sales Call to learn more.
Email:
desireasmedicine@gmail.com
goddessbrenda24@gmail.com
catherine@catherinenavarro.com
Instagram:
@desireasmedicinepodcast
@Brenda_Fredericks
@CoachCatherineN
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
Welcome to Desire is Medicine.
We are two very different womenliving a life led by desire,
inviting you into our world.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
I'm Brenda.
I'm a devoted practitioner tobeing my fully expressed true
self in my daily life.
Motherhood relationships and mybusiness Desire has taken me on
quite a ride and every day Ipractice listening to and
following the voice within.
I'm a middle school teacherturned coach and guide of the
feminine.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
And I'm Catherine, devoted to living my life as the
truest and hopefully thehighest version of me.
I don't have children, I'venever been married.
I've spent equal parts of mylife in corporate as in some
down and low shady spaces.
I was the epitome of tired andwired and my path led me to
explore desire.
I'm a coach, guide, energyworker and a forever student,
(00:58):
even after decades of inner work.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
We are humble beginners on the mat, still
exploring, always curious.
We believe that listening toand following the nudge of
desire is a deep spiritualpractice that helps us grow.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
On the Desires Medicine podcast.
We talk to each other, weinterview people we know and
love about the practice ofdesire, bringing in a very
important piece that is oftenoverlooked being responsible for
our desire, piece that is oftenoverlooked being responsible
for our desire.
Welcome back, hello, familyfriends, I am here with my
(01:36):
gorgeous co-host, brenda.
Hey, brenda, so happy that weare both here, ready to talk to
the peeps about some true shit.
Yes, we've been talking aboutsisterhood, about backing
(01:59):
ourselves, practicing tellingthe truth, being the person that
people tell the truth to.
We've been talking about how toreally back someone.
Hopefully all of our familylisteners.
You guys know we completelyback you and what you want and
what your desires are.
Hence the Desire is Medicinepodcast.
Why is backing one another soimportant in sisterhood?
(02:20):
If you really pause to thinkabout it, is it because we want
to be cheerleaders for oneanother and clap, clap, clap,
tell each other oh my goodness,you sound amazing.
Maybe that's one version reallysee each other in our
(02:43):
brilliance and point to oh wow,you're just genius there.
Maybe, if it's true that fearis a normal human location, if
it's true that scarcity is somuch easier to touch than
(03:07):
abundance, then how do we createspaces where we can really grow
with ease, or more ease thanhardship?
One way is by being in roomswhere you back women and they
(03:33):
back you.
Think of it like this cauldronor think tank, where possibility
is always on stage, where thehighest version of you is always
(03:53):
on stage, where the projectorscreen is always showing
people's highlights, like thathighlight reel from Spotify, or
I think Facebook does it oh, Iknow our iPhones do it, right.
(04:13):
It gives you like this monthhighlight or what happened a
year ago.
Facebook does it too.
Being in rooms with sisters thatback you and it could be a
literal room, or just in timeand space.
You get to see what's possiblebecause you see it in others.
If you are surrounded by womenwho also value personal growth,
(04:36):
you will constantly be seeingpeople achieve things that you
never thought were even possible.
People achieve things that younever thought were even possible
.
That the possibility of it wasso far out there that you would
think that you're like in theDisney room dream room.
In Disney's dream room.
(04:56):
It seems so unfathomable thatthis could happen, that this
could happen, and this is whatwe're talking about today being
and living and breathing amongsisters where you get to back
each other in each other's dreamroom, while not being the cold
(05:19):
shower, by just being thewitness.
Hey.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Brenda, what comes up for you?
Hey, the dream room.
I love a good Walt Disney dreamroom.
You know he had a reality roomtoo, but that was a whole
separate room, because there isa place for reality but it is
not in the dream room.
Don't bring your reality assopinion into the dream room.
I love this feeling of thehighest version of you on stage,
(05:49):
like possibility, and I thinkthat is what we do for each
other as women.
Show each other what's possible.
Man, that is some good stuff.
Okay, ready, it's 2014.
Okay, ready, it's 2014.
(06:25):
My grandmother, who I loved sodearly, is in the hospital, and
my father was already passed atthis point, and it was my sister
and I taking care of mygrandmother and I was teaching
at the time and I would visit mygrandmother every day.
I would, at this point, I wouldcall in sick to work in the
morning, I would have someonecover my homeroom, I would go
visit my grandmother first thingin the morning and then I would
go to work and my kids werelittle.
I was like really burning thecandle at both ends.
This one particular day I wentto visit her in the hospital and
(06:47):
they told me that it was timefor her to go to hospice.
I knew this was coming.
This wasn't a surprise.
But it's 8 am now.
I had already climbed 12mountains.
I got into my car and I called afriend and I was just crying.
I was just crying mygrandmother's going to die.
(07:10):
I'm so sad.
And this friend was socompassionate and so loving.
And the next thing she said,ready folks changed my life and
it changed my family's life.
She told me the story of whenher mother died a few years back
.
When her mother was in thehospital, they knew she was
(07:32):
dying.
They threw her a margaritaparty.
They brought in sand, they hadactual margaritas, her and her
sisters.
And they're in the hospitalroom having a margarita party on
her mother's deathbed.
This landed in my body as suchtruth.
(07:52):
It was like I just woke up.
We got off the phone.
In that minute I decided I'mhaving a party for my
grandmother today.
I text my whole family.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
I text my sisters.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
I text my brother, I text my mother, I texted my
stepmother.
I texted my daughter, who wasaway at college at the time.
I said we're having a party forBubby tonight that's what we
called her.
It's Yiddish for grandmother atsix o'clock.
This is a celebration.
Get dressed up, bring chocolate, bring games.
(08:33):
There will be music.
And I thought, oh my God,they're going to think I'm
absolutely nuts.
And they did.
But guess what?
Every single one of them showedup.
They all came to the party.
My daughter even drove backfrom college.
She was only about an hour anda half away, but she came that
night.
It was 8 AM.
(08:54):
Everyone had a good amount oftime.
Anyway, we had a party for mygrandmother.
I brought a feather boa.
My sister painted, they paintedher nails and there was music.
The kids were playing on thefloor.
My sister painted, they paintedher nails and there was music.
The kids were playing on thefloor.
My sister had little kids atthe time sitting on the floor
coloring.
It was a party.
(09:15):
We were in hospice because shewas transferred.
That day they came in and theysaid can you guys keep it down?
And I was like I don't think so.
We were respectful.
And that party changedeverything.
It showed me what was possibleand my grandmother had the best
(09:36):
time at that party and at theend of the party I could feel,
oh, it's time to wind this partydown now.
She was getting tired, sheclosed her eyes and that was the
last time she was ever awake,was at that party.
I mean, holy crap, right.
(10:01):
And it was beautiful.
She was with her entire family.
We loved her.
She was a Gemini, so she reallyloved the attention.
She got to talk, she wascelebrated and that's how my
grandmother spent her last day.
And everyone in my familyremembers that and they all, at
(10:24):
different times, have said to methis changed my DNA, this
changed my cells.
This showed me what waspossible and it was because I
had the courage to do it, but itwas because my friend had the
courage to tell me what waspossible and it changed
everything.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
That story is absolutely fantastic Margarita
party at the hospice, it'sbeautiful.
I'm thinking right now when wethink of possibility, I want to
introduce things that kill ourpossibility Socioeconomic class,
(11:06):
orientation, income, family,background, potential,
incarceration potential,association with incarceration,
education etiquette, overallsocioeconomic class, etiquette,
(11:37):
overall socioeconomic class.
So our possibilities are sortof limited to our view.
It's like you look around youand this is what's possible.
I think in episodes I don'tknow what episode in the past I
know I've talked about this Oneof the biggest lessons I've had
(12:01):
in abundance has been thatscarcity is when I think the
problem can only be solved bymoney.
Abundance is when I can becreative and think outside of
the box and that's fine and good.
But when I think about the booklike Power Versus Force, how
much does somebody's vibrationactually change in a lifetime
based on their own experience,versus if we bring in different
(12:24):
math, the math that we are theaverage of our five best friends
or five closest friends, andthen I bring in a different map
where you can make a new friendall the time and the more
friends and the more doors thatyou open for yourself, the more
possibilities actually touchyour doorstep and in sisterhood,
(12:51):
in the share in seeing othersaccomplish things that we
couldn't only dream of in thedream room.
This is how we begin to give itto ourselves.
This is one of the many ways,but this way is so fun.
It's in connection, it's insisterhood, it's in conversation
, it's in life.
(13:12):
It's like how amazing was thatwhen your friend said to you oh,
we had a margarita party.
And then, all of a sudden,everything clicks in your body
and you're like we are having aparty tonight at hospice and
everybody shows up.
Your grandmother has a blastand it's the last time that she
was really present and it's thelast time that she was really
(13:34):
present.
What an amazing experience forall of you.
One of your sisters shares herlife experience, shows you
what's possible.
You take that possibility andrun with it and you impact
everybody that you've touched.
This is possibility.
It's a way for us, instead of2Xing something to 10X something
how could we make this thatmuch better?
(13:55):
We get to change the size ofour possibility window via
sisterhood.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
We can only see what we see.
You're so right about that.
We have our own blind spots andwe don't know what we don't
know.
I know that there's things Idon't know, but I need other
people to show me what'spossible.
I need to be in rooms, I needto be with people who have had
(14:25):
different experiences, who havedifferent perspectives and who
can see things that I can't see.
And this is the beauty of myfriendships.
And just before this recording,I brought something to Catherine
that was bothering me, thatcame up in my day and I could
(14:48):
only see it for what I could seeit as, and I knew, if I was
willing to show her this part ofmyself and ask for her opinion,
that she would tell me thetruth of what she saw and that
she would see somethingdifferent than what I could see.
But if I'm just feeling scaredor scarce or unwilling to reveal
(15:11):
the truth of myself, then I'mstuck, I'm limited, there's no
possibility, it's just only whatI can see, which in some cases
is quite small, and thecreativity, the abundant life is
(15:33):
thinking outside the box.
Well, sometimes you just don'tknow how to do that right.
We can get curious with a quoteproblem or an issue and we can
say, well, I don't know what todo here.
Who do I want to ask, who do Iwant to talk to about this and
(15:54):
just get really curious.
And if we get really curiousand just be willing to sit in
the unknown, that's the reallyhard part.
Are you willing to sit in theunknown and just explore what's
possible?
And that does take a slowingdown as opposed to a quick
(16:16):
moving thing.
Now, if I had responded to thisthing that I was telling you
about before, I think itwouldn't have been so good.
I think it would have beenclosed and small and tight.
But in talking to Catherine, Iwas able to see other options
and also see where I need to doa little inner work.
I need to do some writing tounclench some spots, and then a
(16:41):
whole world of possibility isgoing to open up there.
And this is just real, folks.
This is just real.
This is creative, abundantthinking.
This is how we grow.
We don't grow unless we'rewilling to get curious and ask
ourselves what else is possibleand try something new, which
(17:05):
means taking a risk.
And I do say this a lot, youknow, taking a risk can be risky
because if you're prone tobeating yourself up or punishing
yourself which I have a prettystrong punisher inside of me
that I've worked with you'regoing to be less willing to take
(17:27):
risks, which means you're goingto stay in the box a little bit
more, and this is one way thatwe keep ourselves stuck.
So we're giving you this littlepossibility today of what would
it take for you to get curious,to get creative, to have an
abundant mindset so you can havethe life that you dream of,
(17:52):
have your desires, or at leastjust move towards it and be on
the journey.
And it's fun to play.
This is a fun way to play withwomen, because women are so
creative.
You get a group of women in theroom and you drop an issue.
You're going to have so manypossible outlooks and lenses to
(18:14):
look at, which is going toexpand your mind, and I think
that's how we can take eachother higher.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
Thank you so much for that, cher.
Now I'm going to bring insomething that's not so.
It's not as much fun aspossibility, but it's true.
So now you're in this room,everybody's highest self is
projected onto the stage and thecrowd is roaring, and then your
(18:39):
inner critic comes in and sayswell, it's easy for them because
of X, y or Z.
And of course it's going to saythat your ego does not want to
do the hard thing.
Not everything's going to be amargarita party.
(19:02):
Not everything's going to belike we're changing family DNA
patterns overnight, just like ina whole day party.
Wah wah, rah rah.
Family DNA patterns overnightjust like in a whole day party.
Wah-wah, rah-rah.
No, some stuff is going to behard.
I think of the phrase like worksmarter, not harder.
I always used to get stuck onthat phrase.
(19:23):
I'm like I want to work smarter, not harder, and then I
realized, well, in order to worksmarter, you actually have to
work harder first, becausethat's what teaches you what not
to do.
You can't work smarter ifyou've never been in the room.
(19:54):
Friends, I want to invite you toplease, please, please, please,
please, by the love of God, orthe love of God or the universe,
or however you identify.
Know that if it's possible forsomeone, it's possible for you.
Know that if you see it, youcan have it.
If you can spot it, you've gotit.
The biggest feat is how do youstay in the room and not quit?
(20:19):
How do you stay in the room andnot make excuses?
How do you stay in the dreamroom and ask yourself what's one
thing I can do, what's onething I can own?
How can I get closer to havingmy desire?
I really, really, really wishthat in more for all of you.
(20:47):
Anything you want to add,brenda, before I close.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
I want to say that, yeah, some things are easier for
other people than for you, andthat's by design.
We don't all have the samechallenges.
You know you and I have talkeda lot about my journey is full
expression.
Your journey is how do I befully expressed and loving and
(21:16):
kind, and so you know we don'thave the same journeys and so,
yeah, some things are going tobe easier for other people than
for you.
Some people are working on money, some people working on
relationships, some peopleworking on career, some people
are working on physical health.
We're all here working ondifferent things and through
(21:41):
interacting with each other, wecan learn from each other, and I
just love this idea.
Amen to there's more thanenough to go around.
I listened to a speaker onceand I wish that I remembered his
name, but he said there'senough resources on this planet
for everyone to be a millionaire, enough resources on this
(22:06):
planet for everyone to be amillionaire.
It's just that we don't tapinto it.
We don't know how to have it.
That blew my mind and I believeit.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
Well, somebody could say okay, well, that's Miss
Brenda, great for people thatwant to be millionaires.
But what about if I want tohave a baby and I haven't been
able to get pregnant?
Or what about if I want to getmarried and I don't have a
husband?
What about, like, there are allthese places right when
sometimes we want things and wedon't have it, and we see other
(22:36):
people with it.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
Yeah, I think that's really hard and there's no
guarantees in this world.
There's no guarantees in thislife, and I personally believe
that we're here on this earth tolearn lessons generationally
through our karma, and we allhave different lessons to learn.
That's why we're all good atdifferent things and we all
(22:58):
struggle with different thingsand we're not going to always
have our desires.
You heard it here on the Desireis Medicine podcast, folks
we're not going to always haveour desires and sometimes that's
a good thing Because we canthink quite small.
What the universe has in storefor us is much greater.
(23:21):
And also sometimes it'sprotection.
Did you know that MiltonHershey had a ticket for the
Titanic and he did not get onthat ship?
Imagine he just went down withthe ship.
We wouldn't have Hershey barsor Hershey kisses.
So sometimes it's justprotection.
(23:41):
And if we shift our perspectivefrom I have to have this thing
to what am I learning along theway and who am I becoming,
that's a more fulfilling lens toview our desires through.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
Say that again for the people in the back Go, go
For the people in the back.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
Go, go For the people in the back.
If you can shift yourperspective from what can I get?
What can I have?
I must have this thing To whatam I learning and who am I
becoming along the way, lifewill be more fulfilling.
Am I becoming?
Speaker 1 (24:25):
along the way, life will be more fulfilling.
Thank you, I just want to saythat was brilliant.
Yes, yes, yes.
What the universe has in storefor us is going to be different
than what we want for ourselves,even though we are a desire as
medicine podcast, it's lessabout the attainment and it's
(24:47):
about who we're becoming aswe're going to attain the thing
and I'm going to share now.
You talked about Hershey bars,which I loved.
Alex Hermosi that's going to beanother money reference.
(25:07):
He's a business mentor leader.
He was saying when he was inhis 20s, all he wanted to do was
be a millionaire.
Then, when he became amillionaire, all he wanted to do
was be in his 20s.
And I was watching Demi Mooreaccept an award.
(25:29):
I think it was from last year,but she spoke about being in her
60s and having this flappy skinand how much wisdom she has and
what her life feels like.
And would she have known whatit would feel like, how good it
would be, to be in your 60s andyour 20s?
No, nobody knows that, or wedon't talk about it.
(25:53):
We don't actually idolizegetting older in our society.
But she wouldn't give anythingto be in her 20s.
She don't want to go back Now.
They both mentioned their 20s,which is why it had me think
about Alex and Demi, butultimately, what I hear when I
(26:13):
hear things like that is we wantto be over there, but over
there is not guaranteed.
Not because the possibilityisn't there, not because you're
not good enough, not becauseyou're not worthy, not because
there's anything lacking itcould be because of a lesson but
(26:35):
without thinking about theblock just over there is not
guaranteed.
The only thing that'sguaranteed is right now, and if
we knew that right now was thelast thing that we would have
like, how much more could weenjoy this moment?
Because, yes, ultimately, todaywe're talking about possibility
and surrounding ourselves withwhat is possible, and I want to
(27:00):
remind everyone that today,right now, wherever you are
listening, think of all that youhave already created and all
that there is to celebrate, andhow you are a living, breathing
possibility for someone.
How we would give anything tobe somewhere else to have the
other thing that we want, andhow there are other people that
would give anything to besomewhere else to have the other
(27:21):
thing that we want, and howthere are other people that
would give anything to be wherewe are.
So please, please, please,applaud your gains.
If anything on this podcasttoday resonated with you, please
reach out.
I love receiving DMs.
(27:42):
One of these days, brenda willtwist my arm enough, where I
will be talking about thedifferent DMs that we get and we
definitely have more DMs,messages, emails, texts than we
do reviews.
I love receiving them.
So please let us know whatlands for you and if there's
anything specific that you wantus to talk about in the realm of
possibility, let us know.
(28:04):
Until next time, bye for now.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
Thank you for joining us on the Desire is Medicine
podcast.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
Desire invites us to be honest, loving and deeply
intimate with ourselves andothers.
You can find our handles in theshow notes.
We'd love to hear from you.
Welcome to Desire is Medicine.
We are two very different womenliving a life led by desire,
inviting you into our world.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
I'm Brenda.
I'm a devoted practitioner tobeing my fully expressed true
self in my daily life.
Motherhood relationships and mybusiness Desire has taken me on
quite a ride and every day Ipractice listening to and
following the voice within.
I'm a middle school teacherturned coach and guide of the
feminine.
Speaker 1 (00:36):
And I'm Catherine, devoted to living my life as the
truest and hopefully thehighest version of me.
I don't have children, I'venever been married.
I've spent equal parts of mylife in corporate as in some
down and low shady spaces.
I was the epitome of tired andwired and my path led me to
explore desire.
I'm a coach, guide, energyworker and a forever student,
(00:58):
even after decades of inner work.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
We are humble beginners on the mat, still
exploring, always curious.
We believe that listening toand following the nudge of
desire is a deep spiritualpractice that helps us grow.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
On the Desires Medicine podcast.
We talk to each other, weinterview people we know and
love about the practice ofdesire, bringing in a very
important piece that is oftenoverlooked being responsible for
our desire, piece that is oftenoverlooked being responsible
for our desire.
Welcome back, hello, familyfriends, I am here with my
(01:36):
gorgeous co-host, brenda.
Hey, brenda, so happy that weare both here, ready to talk to
the peeps about some true shit.
Yes, we've been talking aboutsisterhood, about backing
(01:59):
ourselves, practicing tellingthe truth, being the person that
people tell the truth to.
We've been talking about how toreally back someone.
Hopefully all of our familylisteners.
You guys know we completelyback you and what you want and
what your desires are.
Hence the Desire is Medicinepodcast.
Why is backing one another soimportant in sisterhood?
(02:20):
If you really pause to thinkabout it, is it because we want
to be cheerleaders for oneanother and clap, clap, clap,
tell each other oh my goodness,you sound amazing.
Maybe that's one version reallysee each other in our
(02:43):
brilliance and point to oh wow,you're just genius there.
Maybe, if it's true that fearis a normal human location, if
it's true that scarcity is somuch easier to touch than
(03:07):
abundance, then how do we createspaces where we can really grow
with ease, or more ease thanhardship?
One way is by being in roomswhere you back women and they
(03:33):
back you.
Think of it like this cauldronor think tank, where possibility
is always on stage, where thehighest version of you is always
(03:53):
on stage, where the projectorscreen is always showing
people's highlights, like thathighlight reel from Spotify, or
I think Facebook does it oh, Iknow our iPhones do it, right.
(04:13):
It gives you like this monthhighlight or what happened a
year ago.
Facebook does it too.
Being in rooms with sisters thatback you and it could be a
literal room, or just in timeand space.
You get to see what's possiblebecause you see it in others.
If you are surrounded by womenwho also value personal growth,
(04:36):
you will constantly be seeingpeople achieve things that you
never thought were even possible.
People achieve things that younever thought were even possible
.
That the possibility of it wasso far out there that you would
think that you're like in theDisney room dream room.
In Disney's dream room.
(04:56):
It seems so unfathomable thatthis could happen, that this
could happen, and this is whatwe're talking about today being
and living and breathing amongsisters where you get to back
each other in each other's dreamroom, while not being the cold
(05:19):
shower, by just being thewitness.
Hey.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Brenda, what comes up for you?
Hey, the dream room.
I love a good Walt Disney dreamroom.
You know he had a reality roomtoo, but that was a whole
separate room, because there isa place for reality but it is
not in the dream room.
Don't bring your reality assopinion into the dream room.
I love this feeling of thehighest version of you on stage,
(05:49):
like possibility, and I thinkthat is what we do for each
other as women.
Show each other what's possible.
Man, that is some good stuff.
Okay, ready, it's 2014.
Okay, ready, it's 2014.
(06:25):
My grandmother, who I loved sodearly, is in the hospital, and
my father was already passed atthis point, and it was my sister
and I taking care of mygrandmother and I was teaching
at the time and I would visit mygrandmother every day.
I would, at this point, I wouldcall in sick to work in the
morning, I would have someonecover my homeroom, I would go
visit my grandmother first thingin the morning and then I would
go to work and my kids werelittle.
I was like really burning thecandle at both ends.
This one particular day I wentto visit her in the hospital and
(06:47):
they told me that it was timefor her to go to hospice.
I knew this was coming.
This wasn't a surprise.
But it's 8 am now.
I had already climbed 12mountains.
I got into my car and I called afriend and I was just crying.
I was just crying mygrandmother's going to die.
(07:10):
I'm so sad.
And this friend was socompassionate and so loving.
And the next thing she said,ready folks changed my life and
it changed my family's life.
She told me the story of whenher mother died a few years back
.
When her mother was in thehospital, they knew she was
(07:32):
dying.
They threw her a margaritaparty.
They brought in sand, they hadactual margaritas, her and her
sisters.
And they're in the hospitalroom having a margarita party on
her mother's deathbed.
This landed in my body as suchtruth.
(07:52):
It was like I just woke up.
We got off the phone.
In that minute I decided I'mhaving a party for my
grandmother today.
I text my whole family.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
I text my sisters.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
I text my brother, I text my mother, I texted my
stepmother.
I texted my daughter, who wasaway at college at the time.
I said we're having a party forBubby tonight that's what we
called her.
It's Yiddish for grandmother atsix o'clock.
This is a celebration.
Get dressed up, bring chocolate, bring games.
(08:33):
There will be music.
And I thought, oh my God,they're going to think I'm
absolutely nuts.
And they did.
But guess what?
Every single one of them showedup.
They all came to the party.
My daughter even drove backfrom college.
She was only about an hour anda half away, but she came that
night.
It was 8 AM.
(08:54):
Everyone had a good amount oftime.
Anyway, we had a party for mygrandmother.
I brought a feather boa.
My sister painted, they paintedher nails and there was music.
The kids were playing on thefloor.
My sister painted, they paintedher nails and there was music.
The kids were playing on thefloor.
My sister had little kids atthe time sitting on the floor
coloring.
It was a party.
(09:15):
We were in hospice because shewas transferred.
That day they came in and theysaid can you guys keep it down?
And I was like I don't think so.
We were respectful.
And that party changedeverything.
It showed me what was possibleand my grandmother had the best
(09:36):
time at that party and at theend of the party I could feel,
oh, it's time to wind this partydown now.
She was getting tired, sheclosed her eyes and that was the
last time she was ever awake,was at that party.
I mean, holy crap, right.
(10:01):
And it was beautiful.
She was with her entire family.
We loved her.
She was a Gemini, so she reallyloved the attention.
She got to talk, she wascelebrated and that's how my
grandmother spent her last day.
And everyone in my familyremembers that and they all, at
(10:24):
different times, have said to methis changed my DNA, this
changed my cells.
This showed me what waspossible and it was because I
had the courage to do it, but itwas because my friend had the
courage to tell me what waspossible and it changed
everything.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
That story is absolutely fantastic Margarita
party at the hospice, it'sbeautiful.
I'm thinking right now when wethink of possibility, I want to
introduce things that kill ourpossibility Socioeconomic class,
(11:06):
orientation, income, family,background, potential,
incarceration potential,association with incarceration,
education etiquette, overallsocioeconomic class, etiquette,
(11:37):
overall socioeconomic class.
So our possibilities are sortof limited to our view.
It's like you look around youand this is what's possible.
I think in episodes I don'tknow what episode in the past I
know I've talked about this Oneof the biggest lessons I've had
(12:01):
in abundance has been thatscarcity is when I think the
problem can only be solved bymoney.
Abundance is when I can becreative and think outside of
the box and that's fine and good.
But when I think about the booklike Power Versus Force, how
much does somebody's vibrationactually change in a lifetime
based on their own experience,versus if we bring in different
(12:24):
math, the math that we are theaverage of our five best friends
or five closest friends, andthen I bring in a different map
where you can make a new friendall the time and the more
friends and the more doors thatyou open for yourself, the more
possibilities actually touchyour doorstep and in sisterhood,
(12:51):
in the share in seeing othersaccomplish things that we
couldn't only dream of in thedream room.
This is how we begin to give itto ourselves.
This is one of the many ways,but this way is so fun.
It's in connection, it's insisterhood, it's in conversation
, it's in life.
(13:12):
It's like how amazing was thatwhen your friend said to you oh,
we had a margarita party.
And then, all of a sudden,everything clicks in your body
and you're like we are having aparty tonight at hospice and
everybody shows up.
Your grandmother has a blastand it's the last time that she
was really present and it's thelast time that she was really
(13:34):
present.
What an amazing experience forall of you.
One of your sisters shares herlife experience, shows you
what's possible.
You take that possibility andrun with it and you impact
everybody that you've touched.
This is possibility.
It's a way for us, instead of2Xing something to 10X something
how could we make this thatmuch better?
(13:55):
We get to change the size ofour possibility window via
sisterhood.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
We can only see what we see.
You're so right about that.
We have our own blind spots andwe don't know what we don't
know.
I know that there's things Idon't know, but I need other
people to show me what'spossible.
I need to be in rooms, I needto be with people who have had
(14:25):
different experiences, who havedifferent perspectives and who
can see things that I can't see.
And this is the beauty of myfriendships.
And just before this recording,I brought something to Catherine
that was bothering me, thatcame up in my day and I could
(14:48):
only see it for what I could seeit as, and I knew, if I was
willing to show her this part ofmyself and ask for her opinion,
that she would tell me thetruth of what she saw and that
she would see somethingdifferent than what I could see.
But if I'm just feeling scaredor scarce or unwilling to reveal
(15:11):
the truth of myself, then I'mstuck, I'm limited, there's no
possibility, it's just only whatI can see, which in some cases
is quite small, and thecreativity, the abundant life is
(15:33):
thinking outside the box.
Well, sometimes you just don'tknow how to do that right.
We can get curious with a quoteproblem or an issue and we can
say, well, I don't know what todo here.
Who do I want to ask, who do Iwant to talk to about this and
(15:54):
just get really curious.
And if we get really curiousand just be willing to sit in
the unknown, that's the reallyhard part.
Are you willing to sit in theunknown and just explore what's
possible?
And that does take a slowingdown as opposed to a quick
(16:16):
moving thing.
Now, if I had responded to thisthing that I was telling you
about before, I think itwouldn't have been so good.
I think it would have beenclosed and small and tight.
But in talking to Catherine, Iwas able to see other options
and also see where I need to doa little inner work.
I need to do some writing tounclench some spots, and then a
(16:41):
whole world of possibility isgoing to open up there.
And this is just real, folks.
This is just real.
This is creative, abundantthinking.
This is how we grow.
We don't grow unless we'rewilling to get curious and ask
ourselves what else is possibleand try something new, which
(17:05):
means taking a risk.
And I do say this a lot, youknow, taking a risk can be risky
because if you're prone tobeating yourself up or punishing
yourself which I have a prettystrong punisher inside of me
that I've worked with you'regoing to be less willing to take
(17:27):
risks, which means you're goingto stay in the box a little bit
more, and this is one way thatwe keep ourselves stuck.
So we're giving you this littlepossibility today of what would
it take for you to get curious,to get creative, to have an
abundant mindset so you can havethe life that you dream of,
(17:52):
have your desires, or at leastjust move towards it and be on
the journey.
And it's fun to play.
This is a fun way to play withwomen, because women are so
creative.
You get a group of women in theroom and you drop an issue.
You're going to have so manypossible outlooks and lenses to
(18:14):
look at, which is going toexpand your mind, and I think
that's how we can take eachother higher.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
Thank you so much for that, cher.
Now I'm going to bring insomething that's not so.
It's not as much fun aspossibility, but it's true.
So now you're in this room,everybody's highest self is
projected onto the stage and thecrowd is roaring, and then your
(18:39):
inner critic comes in and sayswell, it's easy for them because
of X, y or Z.
And of course it's going to saythat your ego does not want to
do the hard thing.
Not everything's going to be amargarita party.
(19:02):
Not everything's going to belike we're changing family DNA
patterns overnight, just like ina whole day party.
Wah wah, rah rah.
Family DNA patterns overnightjust like in a whole day party.
Wah-wah, rah-rah.
No, some stuff is going to behard.
I think of the phrase like worksmarter, not harder.
I always used to get stuck onthat phrase.
(19:23):
I'm like I want to work smarter, not harder, and then I
realized, well, in order to worksmarter, you actually have to
work harder first, becausethat's what teaches you what not
to do.
You can't work smarter ifyou've never been in the room.
(19:54):
Friends, I want to invite you toplease, please, please, please,
please, by the love of God, orthe love of God or the universe,
or however you identify.
Know that if it's possible forsomeone, it's possible for you.
Know that if you see it, youcan have it.
If you can spot it, you've gotit.
The biggest feat is how do youstay in the room and not quit?
(20:19):
How do you stay in the room andnot make excuses?
How do you stay in the dreamroom and ask yourself what's one
thing I can do, what's onething I can own?
How can I get closer to havingmy desire?
I really, really, really wishthat in more for all of you.
(20:47):
Anything you want to add,brenda, before I close.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
I want to say that, yeah, some things are easier for
other people than for you, andthat's by design.
We don't all have the samechallenges.
You know you and I have talkeda lot about my journey is full
expression.
Your journey is how do I befully expressed and loving and
(21:16):
kind, and so you know we don'thave the same journeys and so,
yeah, some things are going tobe easier for other people than
for you.
Some people are working on money, some people working on
relationships, some peopleworking on career, some people
are working on physical health.
We're all here working ondifferent things and through
(21:41):
interacting with each other, wecan learn from each other, and I
just love this idea.
Amen to there's more thanenough to go around.
I listened to a speaker onceand I wish that I remembered his
name, but he said there'senough resources on this planet
for everyone to be a millionaire, enough resources on this
(22:06):
planet for everyone to be amillionaire.
It's just that we don't tapinto it.
We don't know how to have it.
That blew my mind and I believeit.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
Well, somebody could say okay, well, that's Miss
Brenda, great for people thatwant to be millionaires.
But what about if I want tohave a baby and I haven't been
able to get pregnant?
Or what about if I want to getmarried and I don't have a
husband?
What about, like, there are allthese places right when
sometimes we want things and wedon't have it, and we see other
(22:36):
people with it.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
Yeah, I think that's really hard and there's no
guarantees in this world.
There's no guarantees in thislife, and I personally believe
that we're here on this earth tolearn lessons generationally
through our karma, and we allhave different lessons to learn.
That's why we're all good atdifferent things and we all
(22:58):
struggle with different thingsand we're not going to always
have our desires.
You heard it here on the Desireis Medicine podcast, folks
we're not going to always haveour desires and sometimes that's
a good thing Because we canthink quite small.
What the universe has in storefor us is much greater.
(23:21):
And also sometimes it'sprotection.
Did you know that MiltonHershey had a ticket for the
Titanic and he did not get onthat ship?
Imagine he just went down withthe ship.
We wouldn't have Hershey barsor Hershey kisses.
So sometimes it's justprotection.
(23:41):
And if we shift our perspectivefrom I have to have this thing
to what am I learning along theway and who am I becoming,
that's a more fulfilling lens toview our desires through.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
Say that again for the people in the back Go, go
For the people in the back.
Speaker 2 (24:03):
Go, go For the people in the back.
If you can shift yourperspective from what can I get?
What can I have?
I must have this thing To whatam I learning and who am I
becoming along the way, lifewill be more fulfilling.
Am I becoming?
Speaker 1 (24:25):
along the way, life will be more fulfilling.
Thank you, I just want to saythat was brilliant.
Yes, yes, yes.
What the universe has in storefor us is going to be different
than what we want for ourselves,even though we are a desire as
medicine podcast, it's lessabout the attainment and it's
(24:47):
about who we're becoming aswe're going to attain the thing
and I'm going to share now.
You talked about Hershey bars,which I loved.
Alex Hermosi that's going to beanother money reference.
(25:07):
He's a business mentor leader.
He was saying when he was inhis 20s, all he wanted to do was
be a millionaire.
Then, when he became amillionaire, all he wanted to do
was be in his 20s.
And I was watching Demi Mooreaccept an award.
(25:29):
I think it was from last year,but she spoke about being in her
60s and having this flappy skinand how much wisdom she has and
what her life feels like.
And would she have known whatit would feel like, how good it
would be, to be in your 60s andyour 20s?
No, nobody knows that, or wedon't talk about it.
(25:53):
We don't actually idolizegetting older in our society.
But she wouldn't give anythingto be in her 20s.
She don't want to go back Now.
They both mentioned their 20s,which is why it had me think
about Alex and Demi, butultimately, what I hear when I
(26:13):
hear things like that is we wantto be over there, but over
there is not guaranteed.
Not because the possibilityisn't there, not because you're
not good enough, not becauseyou're not worthy, not because
there's anything lacking itcould be because of a lesson but
(26:35):
without thinking about theblock just over there is not
guaranteed.
The only thing that'sguaranteed is right now, and if
we knew that right now was thelast thing that we would have
like, how much more could weenjoy this moment?
Because, yes, ultimately, todaywe're talking about possibility
and surrounding ourselves withwhat is possible, and I want to
(27:00):
remind everyone that today,right now, wherever you are
listening, think of all that youhave already created and all
that there is to celebrate, andhow you are a living, breathing
possibility for someone.
How we would give anything tobe somewhere else to have the
other thing that we want, andhow there are other people that
would give anything to besomewhere else to have the other
(27:21):
thing that we want, and howthere are other people that
would give anything to be wherewe are.
So please, please, please,applaud your gains.
If anything on this podcasttoday resonated with you, please
reach out.
I love receiving DMs.
(27:42):
One of these days, brenda willtwist my arm enough, where I
will be talking about thedifferent DMs that we get and we
definitely have more DMs,messages, emails, texts than we
do reviews.
I love receiving them.
So please let us know whatlands for you and if there's
anything specific that you wantus to talk about in the realm of
possibility, let us know.
(28:04):
Until next time, bye for now.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
Thank you for joining us on the Desire is Medicine
podcast.
Speaker 1 (28:18):
Desire invites us to be honest, loving and deeply
intimate with ourselves andothers.
You can find our handles in theshow notes.
We'd love to hear from you.
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