June 27, 2024 • 7 mins
The episode explores the chaotic journey of a narrator navigating a tumultuous love triangle with two women, Ava and Clover, each representing different life choices and emotional complexities. It delves into themes of desire, self-discovery, trust, and the consequences of lies within intimate relationships.
- Defining success as personal freedom
- Examining the allure of money and relationships
- Exploring the dynamics with Ava and Clover
- Unraveling lies and facing emotional truths
- Trust issues and the struggle for intimacy
- Discovering the path to self-acceptance
- Reflections on human nature and the quest for closure
Created by Emerson Dameron. A different mix appears in Emerson Dameron's Medicated Minutes S5E2: Sultry Secrets of Pulse-Pounding Passion: A Night of Bite-Sized Erotic Thrillers by Emerson Dameron.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Narrator (00:13):
My definition of success is doing what I want
when I want, with whom I want,most importantly, how I want.
What I want is to develop myphilosophy and play my accordion
how I want to do it isbrilliantly.
That requires getting out of myown way, which is truly the
work of a lifetime.
(00:34):
Playing the accordion isn't aseasy as it looks.
You have to learn standardsbefore you learn jazz, and even
when I play popular favorites Itend to get hassled.
I don't see the problem.
Accordion music is not a publicmenace.
They're not bagpipes.
Developing my philosophy takesa lot of mental energy, so I try
not to waste valuable resourcesby thinking too much, which is
(00:57):
great it's.
Unlike most people, I don'tfreak out when I'm about to get
what I want.
They usually don't even realizeit.
I'm able to fall ass backwardsinto amazing situations like
dating two very sexy, verydifferent women.
There's Ava flash, and excesswealthy heiress Shows me the
(01:18):
good life.
I find out that it suits me.
I like the smell of money.
I don't have to work.
Ava allows me to work.
She insists on paying foreverything and kind of holds it
over my head but says I can makeit up to her by sleeping with
her friends.
Sometimes we do three ways.
I'm sure there are women whoaren't into women, but those
women are mysterious to me.
(01:39):
How could you not be into women?
Have you seen women?
Ava is into women and even ifwomen aren't into women, they're
into Ava, sometimes with sextoys or household objects.
The sex is bananas.
Ava puts a lot of pressure onme to do whatever her friends
want, and that's fine.
I hate making decisions.
It's particularly hard todecide between Ava and Clover.
(02:02):
Clover is sexy as hell.
She's fun.
She's pure positive energy.
The sex is really good becausethat's what she channels her
genius into.
In her real life she's not thatsmart.
She'll remind you of thatconstantly.
Often in those words.
Her other catchphrase is nothoughts, just vibes.
(02:23):
Clover is bubbly, vivacious.
She's a great influence.
We have great sex.
It's like dancing One partnerleads and the other leads.
You don't know who's leading,you just know what to do.
It's just happening.
She's told me that she might befalling in love with me.
She doesn't know.
She'll have to think about it abit longer.
(02:44):
I would love to fall in lovewith Clover.
She's exactly the sort ofperson I'd love to spend time
with and I'm comfortable withher in a way that I'm not
comfortable with Ava.
There's a mysterious layer ofweirdness there that I can't
quite articulate what it is, andI think it might just be my
insecurities, so I haven'tbrought it up.
(03:04):
And I love money.
I love being rich.
I never thought it would happen.
It mainly happens to people whoare born into money and
something in me knows that Idon't belong in this world of
glamour and really good cocaine,seemingly overpriced alcohol
and insane sex from people whoare used to getting everything
(03:26):
they want, to the point wherewhat they want is completely
perverse.
Forget about memetic desire.
They're bored to death of thethings that they used to want.
What I eventually discover issomething that seems really
obvious now that I know I'm acharming rogue and a pimp at
heart.
I think I was a player in apast life, but I'm getting
(03:48):
played in this one and I'mgetting pimped out by Ava.
I really should have figuredthat out earlier.
I'm in pretty deep now.
I don't know who to trust, myphilosophy is falling apart, but
contingencies are notconnecting like they used to.
I don't know which way is up,and I'm so dizzy from all of
this crazy sex that it doesn'treally matter.
(04:09):
There's no past, no future.
I've always been doing this.
I always will be doing this.
I don't want to do this anymore.
I don't like this.
It doesn't feel good.
I don't know anything anymore,but I am learning that I know
too much.
I've committed a lot of crimesand I didn't know what I was
doing.
But nobody's gonna believe mewhen I tell them that I'm really
(04:30):
freaking out and Clover canfeel it.
She's highly intuitive and sexis where people hide things.
We have a lot of sex.
She's gonna pick up on it.
Eventually I get tired of lying.
It happens around the time thatmy fabric of lies unravels and
I'm fully exposed.
Clover says I get points forhonesty.
She's mad as hell that she'snot going to leave, although she
(04:54):
could, and it creates the firstbad vibes that we've
experienced.
Well, that's not true.
We had a couple of spats andthen had really rough sex and
briefly hated each other, and sowe were able to bang like we
hated each other, which, ifyou've never tried it find
someone you hate and have sexwith them or start hating
someone you're having sex with.
(05:15):
You really don't want to missout on this.
It creates a lot of conflictand confusion and angst.
Clover tells me that itparticularly gets to her.
It makes her really, really madthat I was willing to commit
crimes for Ava and, in shortorder, I'm committing crimes for
Clover Pretty much whatever shewants.
She could hold this over myhead.
She could rat me out to the FBIif she wanted to.
(05:38):
I have a lot of weirdexperiences that I'm not ready
to talk about.
I experience something weird,deeply uncomfortable, terrifying
and personal growth.
It's not easy, but I'm learningto be myself.
I'm learning to be into myself.
I wish I knew this back when Iwasn't extremely paranoid and
(06:00):
unwilling to trust anyone,because I really shouldn't.
I have a lot of exposure andI'm feeling really jittery right
now.
Most people are incrediblyselfish, cynical, will stab you
in the back for fun and despiseweakness in others and punish it
.
They're awful.
I'm not into intimacy anymore.
I wish I were, because I'mdeeply in love with Clover now
(06:23):
and I'm starting to get soparanoid that I'm oblivious to
the fact that Clover is a doubleagent for another dimension.
She's using me to turn peopleagainst each other, which is
what you want to do before youcome in and conquer them.
I don't know when that's goingto happen.
They have a lot of information.
I'm not optimistic about thenext five years and I've found
(06:45):
that closure doesn't reallyexist.
Exist, but human nature does.
Nothing happens by itself.
You're free to choose your owndestiny, especially if you don't
think you are.
The fact that you're thinkingabout it at all means that you
know that you are.
You are free.
You have no idea how powerfuland sexy you are, and if you're
(07:06):
a man who wants to be kept.
I'm still on speaking termswith Ava.
It's still an open wound.
I have a lot of resentment.
We don't really hang out, butwe text about stuff that only
the two of us care about, andshe lets me know when she has
openings.
Hit me up you.
My definition of success is doing what I want
when I want, with whom I want,most importantly, how I want.
What I want is to develop myphilosophy and play my accordion
how I want to do it isbrilliantly.
That requires getting out of myown way, which is truly the
work of a lifetime.
(00:34):
Playing the accordion isn't aseasy as it looks.
You have to learn standardsbefore you learn jazz, and even
when I play popular favorites Itend to get hassled.
I don't see the problem.
Accordion music is not a publicmenace.
They're not bagpipes.
Developing my philosophy takesa lot of mental energy, so I try
not to waste valuable resourcesby thinking too much, which is
(00:57):
great it's.
Unlike most people, I don'tfreak out when I'm about to get
what I want.
They usually don't even realizeit.
I'm able to fall ass backwardsinto amazing situations like
dating two very sexy, verydifferent women.
There's Ava flash, and excesswealthy heiress Shows me the
(01:18):
good life.
I find out that it suits me.
I like the smell of money.
I don't have to work.
Ava allows me to work.
She insists on paying foreverything and kind of holds it
over my head but says I can makeit up to her by sleeping with
her friends.
Sometimes we do three ways.
I'm sure there are women whoaren't into women, but those
women are mysterious to me.
(01:39):
How could you not be into women?
Have you seen women?
Ava is into women and even ifwomen aren't into women, they're
into Ava, sometimes with sextoys or household objects.
The sex is bananas.
Ava puts a lot of pressure onme to do whatever her friends
want, and that's fine.
I hate making decisions.
It's particularly hard todecide between Ava and Clover.
(02:02):
Clover is sexy as hell.
She's fun.
She's pure positive energy.
The sex is really good becausethat's what she channels her
genius into.
In her real life she's not thatsmart.
She'll remind you of thatconstantly.
Often in those words.
Her other catchphrase is nothoughts, just vibes.
(02:23):
Clover is bubbly, vivacious.
She's a great influence.
We have great sex.
It's like dancing One partnerleads and the other leads.
You don't know who's leading,you just know what to do.
It's just happening.
She's told me that she might befalling in love with me.
She doesn't know.
She'll have to think about it abit longer.
(02:44):
I would love to fall in lovewith Clover.
She's exactly the sort ofperson I'd love to spend time
with and I'm comfortable withher in a way that I'm not
comfortable with Ava.
There's a mysterious layer ofweirdness there that I can't
quite articulate what it is, andI think it might just be my
insecurities, so I haven'tbrought it up.
(03:04):
And I love money.
I love being rich.
I never thought it would happen.
It mainly happens to people whoare born into money and
something in me knows that Idon't belong in this world of
glamour and really good cocaine,seemingly overpriced alcohol
and insane sex from people whoare used to getting everything
(03:26):
they want, to the point wherewhat they want is completely
perverse.
Forget about memetic desire.
They're bored to death of thethings that they used to want.
What I eventually discover issomething that seems really
obvious now that I know I'm acharming rogue and a pimp at
heart.
I think I was a player in apast life, but I'm getting
(03:48):
played in this one and I'mgetting pimped out by Ava.
I really should have figuredthat out earlier.
I'm in pretty deep now.
I don't know who to trust, myphilosophy is falling apart, but
contingencies are notconnecting like they used to.
I don't know which way is up,and I'm so dizzy from all of
this crazy sex that it doesn'treally matter.
(04:09):
There's no past, no future.
I've always been doing this.
I always will be doing this.
I don't want to do this anymore.
I don't like this.
It doesn't feel good.
I don't know anything anymore,but I am learning that I know
too much.
I've committed a lot of crimesand I didn't know what I was
doing.
But nobody's gonna believe mewhen I tell them that I'm really
(04:30):
freaking out and Clover canfeel it.
She's highly intuitive and sexis where people hide things.
We have a lot of sex.
She's gonna pick up on it.
Eventually I get tired of lying.
It happens around the time thatmy fabric of lies unravels and
I'm fully exposed.
Clover says I get points forhonesty.
She's mad as hell that she'snot going to leave, although she
(04:54):
could, and it creates the firstbad vibes that we've
experienced.
Well, that's not true.
We had a couple of spats andthen had really rough sex and
briefly hated each other, and sowe were able to bang like we
hated each other, which, ifyou've never tried it find
someone you hate and have sexwith them or start hating
someone you're having sex with.
(05:15):
You really don't want to missout on this.
It creates a lot of conflictand confusion and angst.
Clover tells me that itparticularly gets to her.
It makes her really, really madthat I was willing to commit
crimes for Ava and, in shortorder, I'm committing crimes for
Clover Pretty much whatever shewants.
She could hold this over myhead.
She could rat me out to the FBIif she wanted to.
(05:38):
I have a lot of weirdexperiences that I'm not ready
to talk about.
I experience something weird,deeply uncomfortable, terrifying
and personal growth.
It's not easy, but I'm learningto be myself.
I'm learning to be into myself.
I wish I knew this back when Iwasn't extremely paranoid and
(06:00):
unwilling to trust anyone,because I really shouldn't.
I have a lot of exposure andI'm feeling really jittery right
now.
Most people are incrediblyselfish, cynical, will stab you
in the back for fun and despiseweakness in others and punish it
.
They're awful.
I'm not into intimacy anymore.
I wish I were, because I'mdeeply in love with Clover now
(06:23):
and I'm starting to get soparanoid that I'm oblivious to
the fact that Clover is a doubleagent for another dimension.
She's using me to turn peopleagainst each other, which is
what you want to do before youcome in and conquer them.
I don't know when that's goingto happen.
They have a lot of information.
I'm not optimistic about thenext five years and I've found
(06:45):
that closure doesn't reallyexist.
Exist, but human nature does.
Nothing happens by itself.
You're free to choose your owndestiny, especially if you don't
think you are.
The fact that you're thinkingabout it at all means that you
know that you are.
You are free.
You have no idea how powerfuland sexy you are, and if you're
(07:06):
a man who wants to be kept.
I'm still on speaking termswith Ava.
It's still an open wound.
I have a lot of resentment.
We don't really hang out, butwe text about stuff that only
the two of us care about, andshe lets me know when she has
openings.
Hit me up you.
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