April 6, 2025 • 49 mins
Meet Georgie Collinson; she's an anxiety therapist (specialising in high functioning anxiety), hypnotherapist, naturopath, nutritionist and mindset coach. And today we're celebrating the launch of her 2nd book: Master Your Relationship AnxietyGeorgie and I met a few years ago when she had the idea for her first book The Anxiety Reset Method and I coached her on how to pitch it and get it ready to send to publishers. I then introduced her to my publisher at the time and they signed her within 24 hours. That book then went on to be featured in Oprah's book club!Now let's talk book 2: Master Your Relationship Anxiety which is officially out now and you can get your copy: here In this book Georgie teaches us the 3 stages of love:1. Base Love (often first love)2. Chaotic Love (this is the toxic, kryptonite and sometimes very passionate kind) 3. Expansive Love (which is safe, honest and true)
Georgie also unpacks lots of common fears we can get when we're thinking about dating and our love lives like: - loss and abandonment- rejection and approval - trapped and feeling stuck - fear of losing self
And there's lots of "what if" scenarios in this book with a toolkit to help you navigate these dating and relationship anxieties.
Georgie taught me that anxiety is useful to some degree. I'd never looked at anxiety like that before, she invites us to lean in and learn from it.
Hope you love this chat, there's lots of take-aways so if you're out walking you might want to jot some things down in the notes section of your phone or grab a good old fashioned pen and paper like I did.
You can also follow Georgie on insta here: https://www.instagram.com/georgiethenaturopath/
Big love,
Lola
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Get a.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
I'm Laala Berry, nutritionist, author, actor, TV presenter, and professional oversharer.
This podcast is all about celebrating failure because I believe
it's a chance for us to learn, grow and face
our blind spots. Each week, I'll interview a different guest
about their highs as well as their lows, all in
(00:26):
a bid to.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Inspire us to feariously fail. Hello, Welcome to the pod.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Today we have Byron Bay based author Georgie Collinson on
the pod today now. She's an anxiety therapist specializing in
high functioning anxiety. She's a hypnotherapist, a naturopath, a nutritionist,
a mindset coach, and today's chat is really all about
celebrating her newest book, book Number two asked your relationship Anxiety.
(01:03):
It is a great read. And I as someone that
doesn't feel too anxious in a relationship right now, because
I'm in very like healthy, say relationship, but I've definitely
been in the chaotic, cryptonite, toxic.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Ones in the past.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
But as someone that feels grounded now, I still got
a lot out of it more linked like I associated
all the points around, like career, like fear of rejection.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
Am I not?
Speaker 2 (01:27):
Am I not good enough and all of that kind
of like, It's what I'm trying to say is there's
something for everyone in this book.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
So we break it down.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
I ask loads of questions about like the common fears
that people have around love life. We talk about the
three stages of love, base love, chaotic love, and expansive love.
We talk about little behind the scenes of the book.
The reason how and why Georgie and I know one
another is I coached her on her first book, so
(01:57):
I do podcast and book coaching the side like as
Zoom Cluck clients and consults, and that's how we got
to know each other. And then I introduced her to
my publisher, and my publisher within twenty four hours loved
her and signed her and gave her a book deal.
So it was just so fun to sit down with
her full circle moment, and tonight I'm going to be
(02:20):
in Byron bay M seeing her book launch.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
I'm actually quite anxious about. To be honest, I know people.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
Don't believe this when I say this, but I'm actually
an introvert even though I act like an extrovert. I'm
an extrovert on the pod because it's just me and
one other person, or it's just me talking to a
mic talking to you guys, the listeners. So but when
you put me in a big group of people, I
get sweaty palms and all the things. Anyway, we talk
about all of that in this chat. Georgie is very warm,
very open, and very kind and caring, and so she
(02:48):
just makes it so easy to understand and get your
head around. I think you're gonna love this chat. I
learned so much from her, and I just think it's
a really good chat and episode to listen to. If
you just want to like check him with your mental health,
check him with where you're at with anxiety.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
This ep is for you.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
And her book is officially available now across Australia and
New Zealand all Good bookstores as well as online. It's
called Master Your Relationship Anxiety, Overcome your Worries, doubts and
Insecurities in four Weeks. And her first book is called
The Anxiety Reset Method.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
So both books are brill and Georgie.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Big congrats, my friend, and you're going to crush it
at the book launch night, all right, poru gang big
love boy mait We're going straight into the chat. I'm
so excited to be here. Georgie Collinson, mate anxiety therapist.
You specialize in high functioning anxiety hypno therapists.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
I didn't know that about you.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Yeah, now, Trath, I knew, nutritionist, I knew, mindset, coach,
I knew, podcaster I knew, and obviously author I knew
as well because we across paths on the first book,
did we not?
Speaker 1 (04:05):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (04:06):
Well, I saw that you were with the publisher that
I wanted to go with, the Lovely Affirm And then
I reached out to you and I was like, Lola.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
Tell me your secrets, Like what do I need to know?
And you were just the best.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
Like, honestly, I don't know that my first book would
have you know, you gave me the introduction, So I'm
just but we.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Kind of coached together, right Like I kind of coach
you over a few sessions, and we got your pitch
deck exactly where you wanted. It was also the most
incredible pitchcheck I've ever seen.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
I was like, this is.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Like twelve pages, whereas mine is like a one page.
Like it was you just told me before we hit record,
You've got a lot of virgo in your chart. It
was coming out in that pitch deck. And I think
like when I introduced you to your publisher, and at
the time my publisher, Cali, she jumped at it, did
she not?
Speaker 3 (04:50):
Yes, literally in like like twenty four.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
Hours, which was amazing. Yeah, oh my god. And now
we're here talking.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
I can't even say on the eve of your book
lunch because today is the day of the Byron book
launch and this is now book two that I have
been madly marking up, highlighting, soaking up. I started reading
on the plane. It's been so fun to soak up.
And it's called Master your Relationship Anxiety, which is kind
(05:19):
of scary to read that, Like, has anyone said, oh,
like it kind of brings up a.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Bit of stuff for you the reader, right, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
I think the term relationship anxiety is not one that
people are super familiar with, and yet it exists like
it is everywhere.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
And I feel that we may not.
Speaker 3 (05:39):
Consider ourselves, you know, experiencing a lot of anxiety, but
relationship anxiety is such a quite universal experience, like it's
part of our human experience because in relationships, all of
our deepest fears, insecurities, worries, doubts, they're all going to
be brought to the surface, and that's something that we
all kind of have to work through. All have varying
levels of how much triggers us. But yeah, so it's
(06:02):
one that certainly hits a nerve for a lot of people.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
But it's one of my favorite parts of the book,
and I really want to unpack the book in a
seco One of my favorite parts is where you break
down the three styles of all the three types of love.
So I want to do that in a sec But first,
can we rewind a little bit because what I love
when I read about you is that you specialize in
high functioning Is that how I'm saying it right, like
(06:27):
high functioning anxiety? And I was like, hang on a seck,
I think that won't be me. So can you share
that what that means working with people that have high
functioning anxiety?
Speaker 3 (06:39):
Well, you know, the opening line of my first book
is literally when I tell people that I that I
work with women with high functioning anxiety or people with
high functioning anxiety, the first thing I hear is like,
oh my god, that's me, Like I need to So
it's very very common because so much in our society
kind of draws out these traits and we see it
as part of what we need to in order.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
To be successful and survive.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
And so with high functioning anxiety, we're looking at we've
got a lot of perfectionism. Where big people pleases, there
is a lot of self made pressure. Yeah, pretty mean
in a critic going on, and this sense that you're
just never enough, you know, doing enough few and yet
like a lot of us, you know, high achievers doing
(07:21):
really well.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
In many ways.
Speaker 3 (07:22):
But it's kind of like, do we have to live
with that much suffering in order to achieve the things
that we want to do? And I like to challenge
that and say that we can still have the goals,
the big vision for our lives, but there is a
way that we can get there. Whilst I suppose it's
that cliche of enjoying the journey along.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
The way, yeah, one hundred percent.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
And I think that perfectionism to me, it's like best
buds with control, you know. And I think like whenever
I know, whenever I feel like anxious or uncomfortable, it's
usually I'll be like I need to control the situation.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
It's like a real coore way of feeling safe again.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
Yeah, and yeah, just even reading the intro of this book,
I was like.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
Oh, so many people must.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
Feel this thing, because, like you said, if you're high functioning,
you can almost.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Get away with self soothing in probably like the wrong.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Ways booze bit of emotional leading here and their yeah
sex I imagine as well, and kind of be like, oh,
I feel okay for a second, and then it probably
read is it's ugly.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
Head to get am I right in saying that? Yeah? Definitely?
Speaker 3 (08:32):
And the other ones would be like shopping or buying
stuff to not feel, or burying ourselves in work, like overworking,
because that's a world you can easily control, right Like
I can have all my little ducks in a row
and my calendar and tick things off, and we don't
like that. And you know, like you said, you can
hide high functioning anxiety, and that's why most of us do,
(08:55):
like you can. No one would know on the outside
really unless you let them into your world, that that's
something that's going on for you. So we all walk
around assuming that we're the only ones feeling this way.
But it's so so easy to pretend that you're not
experiencing that anxiety inside.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
And I know you do share this in both of
your books is like this toolkit of like catching ourselves
a little bit, and like breath work is something you're
really passionate about. Just for the listener now if they
are like because for me even like I'll be nervous
tonight by the way, Oh for the listener, I'm am seeing.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Your book launch And when you ask me, I was like, oh,
I'm honored. This is lovely.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
And then like as the day is crept closer and closer,
I'm like, oh, I forgot.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
I'm actually an.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Introvert and like I love one on one stuff, which
is why I could have hang out with you all
day long like this, But when it's in a group,
I sweat, Like I get sweaty palms. Yeah, but then
I love it after because I feel like I've got
outside my comfort zone. I feel like I've achieved and
all of that. But like for someone listening now and
selfishly myself that has something that they're really excited about
(10:01):
but also a little bit anxious about, what's a little
like self practice that we can or a little mechanism
we can just do on the reg Yeah, well.
Speaker 3 (10:12):
You already you know mentioned something that you can do,
which is you jump forward beyond the discomfort and you
look at what is the reward on the other side,
because we're so used to associating I've got to do
a you know, a public speaking kind of gig with
oh no, all the nerves, all the discomfort and the
anticipation beforehand, but.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
That feeling after you know you love it. I mean
it almost surprises me.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
But then at the same time, doesn't that you feel
that anxiety because it's like you've done this so many times, right,
and I feel some nerves too.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
I'm glad you do.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
Like it's a part of the human experience, right, But
like you, I'm just focusing on I know there is
that Georgie as soon as I'm like maybe halfway through,
like when we're talking on stage, or also towards the end,
where I'm just like, oh, this has gone well.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
I love it. This is so much fun.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
You know, you get to connect with people that are
literally there to learn about what you have to say
in your new book, So like that's a celebration as well.
And I think, yeah, I like the idea of like
getting to that after, like and associating that after like
reward feeling, Yeah, I've done.
Speaker 3 (11:21):
This on planes when there's been turbulence, and I started
to get that thought in my head of like, what
if something happens? You know, yeah, we all think it,
and then I jump forward into oh, what's it going
to be like when I'm there and I'm just lying
back in the bed in the hotel room and I've
already arrived, And that's able. That helps to create that
(11:42):
sort of positive sense. So association with whatever you're doing.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Oh I love that. Yeah, I've never thought of doing that.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Okay, well we should have a code word tonight and
I'll be like, I'm doing the thing.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
I'm doing the thing.
Speaker 3 (11:52):
It's like exercise, right, you go through a workout, it hurts,
you don't want to do it, but if you learn
to associate it with the high you get after, the
good feeling in your body, well it's so much easier
to get through.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
Totally.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
Always, I've been doing pilates in the whole time I've
been in Byron, and the first ten minutes I'm like,
fuck my life, why am I here looking at the watch?
And then I'm just like, hang on, You're all like
in five minutes, you're record of the way through, and
I'm like, you also get to go to Rodie after
and get a delish dirty chie like this is pretty good,
(12:24):
and you feel so good for the and your moon
and everything for the rest of the day.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
So I love that.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
That's such a good thank you. That's such a good
hack that I will be implementing.
Speaker 3 (12:31):
Yeah. Now, the other one I would say is just
literally I'll be talking to my inner child, because there's
that like part of me that is like, oh no,
I've been rejected before, or what if people judge me
that didn't feel good once upon a time, And so
I speak.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
To that part of me and I'm like, oh, you're
gonna be great.
Speaker 3 (12:49):
And it does take that, you know, even now, it's
this constant relationship that we nurture with ourselves where you know,
my wise older self talks to my younger self and
I'm just like you do you.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
I know you've done a fair bit of TV. Do
you get nervous when you do TV?
Speaker 1 (13:03):
Yeah? Oh? Do you know my rule is for TV? Well?
I learn it when I first started.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
I started in telling when I was like twenty three
and I had a business part at the time, and
he goes the three piece and I was like, all right,
and it's never let me down. Passion, passion, posture, because
I always I got really big boobs. I always hunch,
especially with cooking demos and purpose. And so if you're
connected to your three p's, your passion, your purpose. Also
(13:31):
like also if you're doing something you love, it kind
of takes the noise of the anxiety away. And then posture,
well that's just because I slouch, but like a good
it's a good one of like I always finally, if
I'm nervous as well, if I come back to like
why I'm there, what my purpose is, And I always
find in a social environment, if I have a purpose,
it takes away a lot of fear. Yeah, it's letting
(13:53):
that like smaller you step away, like make way for
the greater purpose that you're here to present.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
I love it, love it. Oh my god, I could
talk to you all day long.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
Well, let's we've got to talk about this book because
it's so much fun to read about. First of all,
I have to say, the first book, Oprah's Book Club,
what the how did you just get a call from
your publisher and you're like come again?
Speaker 1 (14:15):
It was pretty crazy? And do you know what?
Speaker 3 (14:17):
It came at a time where i'd really slowed down
as well, like I was just doing focusing on my clients,
like you know, not not trying so much to kind
of put myself out there, and then it just like
appeared it was it was crazy.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
Well, there goes that, and that is that theory.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
When we don't control and hold on too tight, we
make space for everything to come in. Yes, my boyfriend
Matt is so good at that.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
And whereas I'm like, I like, no, I will hold on.
But my acting coach taught me this thing, I reckon.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
You'll love it because a lot of actors when they
learn scripts, they hold on too tight, like and they're like,
you must see all the work I have done, And
they say, pretend you have a little baby bird in
your hands and you want to care for it. You
want to look after it, you want to make sure
it's fair. But if you hold on too tight, you're
going to squash the bird. So you'd never want to
do that. You just want to hold it with care.
So it's kind yeah, and so it's like the letting
(15:05):
go thing becomes easier thing because you're trusting a little
bit that this babybird's going to be able to fly
one day.
Speaker 3 (15:10):
Yes, And I have to say, like I always kind
of had not that I could ever predict that Oprah
was going to pick up my book, but I always
had this feeling about it that, like before I even
spoke to you, I was like, I'm going to write
a book this year, and I just it all. The
fact that it flowed, like I met, you know, reconnected
through it. There was also the fact that the publishers
(15:32):
picked it up and then Oprah picked it up, like
there was this flow the whole time.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
You know, when stuff it does just work.
Speaker 3 (15:38):
There are some things we're really like challenged by and
we keep getting brick walls and we have to overcome
those challenges. For some reason, the book thing just flowed
for me, and I just keep trusting that.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
Oh as you should, my friend, And this NEWI is
flipping unreal to you. The listener officially available all over
Astrow in New Zealand, and I'm going to have links
in the.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
Show notes so you can buy it today.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Can you teach me about common fears we have when
it comes to our love life.
Speaker 3 (16:05):
Yes, well, our mind will typically tell us something like
what if they leave me?
Speaker 1 (16:10):
That's a really common one.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
But even if we're in a really secure relationship where
everything's stable and we're like, no, they're not going to
leave me of their own free will, but what if
something happens to them? We can still have that fear
show up in a different a different way.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
That's abandonment, right.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
It's abandonment. And how crazy we can still have that
even when that person you know, you've got all that
trust there by your side, you're like.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
Well, what if they get sick?
Speaker 3 (16:33):
And that's where we start like feeding them all the
supplements and making sure nothing happens to them. We might
have that fear of like what if I'm not good
enough for them? Or what if I'm too needy? Is
a really common one. And what if we're not having
sex enough? Is like such a classic, especially for women,
because we kind of like measure that on how safe
we are, like are we keeping them satisfied?
Speaker 1 (16:53):
Could and also be a value.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
There's a lot I've had mates that value themselves on
like how often they have sex and myfe oh my god.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Yeah, but it's common.
Speaker 3 (17:02):
It's so common. Then there's like what if we're not
in love enough? What if I, like we fall out
of love? What if I'm not with the right person
is a really common one, like this idea that we
have to be with this perfect partner. And then of
course there are some things that come up where we're
like is that a red flag? Like what if this
isn't healthy? And then finally, the sort of last category
(17:24):
is like what if I need space all the time
and I'm instantly trying to get out this relationship, will
get away from them or they're not quite what I
thought I would be with. Yeah, and we're sort of,
you know, finding ourselves keeping them at arm's length a
little so.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
Interesting, So they kind of come under these big like
feelings that we can have in any state, like I
would say this applies to It was really interesting reading
this because I was like, oh, I feel all this
is my career too, like lost, an abandonment, rejection and
need for approval, feeling trapped or stuck in a situation
that's my worst feeling in the world, and then fear
(17:58):
of losing self. And I'm like, all of them you
could feel in almost any part of your life.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
Yeah, yeah, it's so true.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
And even though I wrote the book in the context
of romantic relationships, certainly applies a lot of it. To
friendships or parent relationships like siblings, all of it because
obviously maybe not the sex questions, but.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
Hopefully one would hope.
Speaker 3 (18:21):
I chose the topic of romantic relationships to keep us
nice and niche, And that's also where we're most intimate
and most vulnerable with another person. Typically, like you know,
everything gets exposed there. We're living usually with someone day in,
day out, So it meant we could go deeper on
a lot of things. But it definitely applies to a
(18:43):
lot of different areas of life.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
There was a quote I wrote down from the book
that I was like, Oh, I've never thought about this before.
Anxiety is useful to some degree.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
Unpack that for me.
Speaker 3 (18:56):
Friend, Well, this is like one of my big messages
for people, which is we we seem to see anxiety
as this big problem we need to get rid of,
and we really demonize it. But if we use anxiety
as a friend, as a messenger, and we see that
it actually has some kind of information to share with us,
it's usually communicating something that we need, something that might
(19:18):
be a little out of balance, and that could be
like more like nutrition or gun health. It could be
like a physical thing like that. Usually it's a combination
of a few, but it could also be I'm not
feeling safe, and sometimes when you're in a relationship, that's
really useful to feel that, to know, Okay, I'm not
(19:38):
feeling safe, and then we can take it to the
next step, which is how do we create that safety
for you. Is it that there are recurring actions from
that partner that you are with that are actually creating
this lack of safety, or is there something you need
to communicate, start to share in order to create that safety,
or maybe some inner work to do as well.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
I love that you said about like commut like something
you might to communicate. And I people always say, wow,
what's your secret power. I'm like, oh, therapy. And my
therapist is a hypnotherapist, which you will love love that.
And I didn't know till like six sessions in. I
was like, so, I saw you've said you're a hypnotherapist.
He's like yeah, and I go, well, when are we
going to do it? And he's like, Lola, We've been
(20:18):
doing it in every session. I had no idea, but
we were visualizing so much. I just thought we were
doing visualizations. I had no idea.
Speaker 3 (20:25):
That's actually smart because of that control part of you
to let you actually go into the safety of going
through that experience, because a lot of people are like,
are you controlling me?
Speaker 2 (20:35):
You know, I like, hand on my heart, Georgie, I
had no idea that I'd been doing hypno this whole time.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
Like he burst into laughter. That is so funny.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
He's like, yeah, Lola, we've eaten so fun But yeah,
I like the way you describe community, like the power
of communication. There's a movie I really want you to see.
It's called My Old Ass Oh, and it's a eighteen
year old girl and she takes mushrooms in the forest
(21:04):
and she hallucinates and sees her thirty nine year old
self and they become buds and like can communicate and stuff.
But it's really cool what the thirty nine year old
self can teach the eighteen year old self. And it
made me realize what a gift I'm thirty nine. I
was like, what a gift is to be thirty nine.
And one of the things was this line in the
(21:27):
movie is like you give less of a shit about
what other people think of you. And then the way
you just mentioned full circle about like when we feel
anxiety or not safe it's about communicating that and I
think as I've got old, I'm really comfortable communicating even
to boss like Matt, like we're you know, stuff chat,
we're both creative. Stuff changes all the time, and I'll
(21:49):
be like, oh, I'm feeling really uncomfortable about this, and
he's like, all right, let's sit and talk about it.
But we're also both in therapy, which is why we're
so comfortable sitting in uncomfortable conversations. How key do you think,
like open and honest communication is when it comes to relationships.
Speaker 3 (22:04):
Incredibly like important, but I will say caveat to that
is delivery also matters. Yeah, so the care we can
have for the other person, like because I could tell,
you know, I could be in a relationship with someone
and say, you know, I walked past an attractive man
in the street. Maybe we're in Byron, maybe I will
past Crim's all attractive.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
Matt and I have a theory that everyone has a
hot filter on here, like everyone just looks so beautiful, so.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
Many surfer dudes, Like you know, we both walked.
Speaker 3 (22:32):
Fast to Hemsworth brother at some point, and it's like,
you know, what if I I could be honest with
my partner and say like, I saw this super hot
man and you know, for a flicker of a moment,
my brain went into a fantasy there. Or I could
just sort of not share that, and it's not not
being honest, but it's just also being mindful of how
that's going to land for someone else, right, Or I
(22:54):
could share it and be like, such a silly thing
like this happened.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
You know you can. You can choose the way you
share that information, and I think that matters too.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
You will laugh when we see hemy. My boyfriend will
text and be like Aisle seven woolies thaw, and I'll
be like, I'm there, I'm there.
Speaker 1 (23:11):
I think we both have an equal crush on him.
That's why. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
But I also think, like the way you said about silly,
like you could deliver it like in a silly way.
I think that lightness as well, if your relationship has
that element. I've been in a relationships before where that
element isn't there, and it wouldn't.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
Be it wouldn't feel right to share.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
Something like probably because and I'm about I really want
to talk about the stages of probably, because I was
in a chaotic glob at that stage of the game,
that's it. But like when you feel safe, it is
it does feel you do feel safe to make a
little joke like, oh God, wouldn't mind a bit of thaw,
you know, yeah, And usually the second person will be like, yeah,
me too, so gorgeous. To be fair, I think if
(23:49):
I saw Thor in the supermarket, my partner would be like,
why didn't you text me? Exactly exactly. It's so fun.
It's so fun when you see thought. Okay, so one,
can you teach me about the three stages of love?
Speaker 1 (24:02):
Because as I was reading it, I was like.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
Oh, oh yes, yes, you've nailed it. So let's share
it with a listener.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
It's so cool.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
So these stages we all typically if we're on a
growth journey in our lives through relationships and love, we
will move through all of these stages. Ideally, some people
move through it with just one person and they're like
maybe they were high school sweethearts and they went through
their rocky times and they kind of grow together. But
a lot of us will have these stages with different people.
(24:32):
The first stage is base love, and that is where
you tend to sort of find yourself in a relationship
where maybe it's not quite who you would really choose
for yourself, but you don't know yourself enough at that
point to even have that awareness.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
It's maybe who your parents would have liked you to
be with.
Speaker 3 (24:48):
And you sort of come together and it's nice and
it's good and it's easy enough. But then for some
reason your life parts go in different directions. Maybe there's
that sort of immature someone cheats on someone that you're young,
or you move to different cities to study, and so
eventually we sort of move on. For me and my
experience of that, I just had this calling of well,
(25:08):
ultimately my inner child needed to do more healing, and
I was kind of I just felt like it was
it had reached the end. And then we move into
Chaotic Club, which is where it is Heaven, Kryptonitemate, and
it is hell yeah, like all at once, so all
your dreams come true and you just think, oh my god,
I didn't know love could be this good. We're addicted
to each other, this is so passionate, and all your
(25:30):
wounds come up as well, and it's just like awful
at the same time, or further down the track it
becomes really really horrible.
Speaker 1 (25:37):
So it's a big roller coaster, but all for our growth.
Speaker 3 (25:41):
And so if you're in the chaotic love and you're
kind of like I keep attracting emotionally unavailable people, I'm
in a toxic relationship, whatever it might be, just know
that if you can do your lessons, if you can
work through and realize, oh damn, look I'm not speaking
up for myself or I'm allowing this to have in,
you start to grow and evolve. And that's where we
(26:02):
move into the next stage, which is expansive love, which
is where we have become a more mature partner. We
are showing up for ourselves essentially, and that allows us
to be more of one of those interdependent relationships where
we can be side by side in life. It's not
like intense and crazy like the chaotic love. It's much
(26:23):
more of like a temperate climate and everything's a lot
more stable. We still have conflicting still come up, but
that's also part of just living life in a mature
context with another human being. So we grow together, is
the summary of the expansive love, and that becomes a
really exciting, fulfilling journey to embark upon.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
So nice hearing that as well, like but also just
a question on that is it? And this might be
a massive blanket, but provide if you don't say, with
that high school sweetheart, beautiful based love and like it's
a really like always think your first love if it's
that style and base like it's a really beautiful, like
warm hug. Yeah, but that chaotic one for me was
(27:07):
all like a big chunk of my twenties and it was.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
A good decade.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
And then it was not until like thirty one where
I had a much clearer sense of self that I
met Bosso, who's in the room but doing work. And
it was a full, almost to the day, ten years
between my base love and meeting Matt and he's the
crazy thing. They both had the same careers. Yeah, how
weird is that?
Speaker 3 (27:33):
So you went on this whole evolution and then you
came back to some of those things were still right
and aligned for you. So those qualities, those themes, Yeah, but.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
The amount of chaos in that ten years. Mate. My therapist,
the hypnotherapists wonder how walked in He goes, right, how
long are you going to date narcissis slola because we
need to put it into this And I was like,
oh my god, my god, I love your therapist.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
No, yeah, he's brutal. He's the best.
Speaker 3 (27:57):
Like sometimes we need that because chaotic lif is grueling,
but it's also like terribly difficult to break out of.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
Like I was there, Lola. That's why I wrote this book.
Speaker 3 (28:06):
I was like, how the hell do I stop getting
in these cycles? Because it was like I knew how
to manage anxiety everywhere else in my life, but dating
someone or getting in a relationship it was my achilles
heel and then I'd just be flawed and I just
felt like a shell of myself.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
Well, I think you're not alone.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
I think this is like it's like common in like
I think about like the uptick in like all the
different dating apps, Like people are looking and wanting to
find that right person. Matt and I meant on bumble
women on dating app. But my point is is like
people are out there looking and wanting to get out
of those like patterns or habits. And I like the
(28:43):
way that you have kind of shared in other interviews
that like it can be a childhood pattern. Two, Like
your dad was really busy and working all the time,
and so you would pick people that maybe you weren't
the first priority. Maybe you were kind of like were
more into their work than you, and like it kind
of makes sense when you look back at the way,
like that would have.
Speaker 1 (29:02):
Been a normal value system for you, exactly.
Speaker 3 (29:04):
Like classic example, So my dad was really busy all
the time and very inconsistently available, so you have a
lot of time for me, not.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
Very interested in me as a person.
Speaker 3 (29:14):
It was kind of like, you know, he was loving
at moments, but like you know, it was rare and
so like loved me, I guess underneath. But that led
to that norm for me in relationships, which was, oh,
it's okay if they don't message me.
Speaker 1 (29:28):
For three days, they're just busy. They're just busy with work.
Speaker 3 (29:31):
They still like me, they still you know, love me,
they're just busy. Like that was so normal, whereas when
I met my current partner, it was like such a shock.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
He calls me multiple times a day.
Speaker 3 (29:41):
Yes, so nice, And I was like, yeah, I know,
it's the best thing, but at the time, like it
was so unfamiliar. I was like, oh, this is a
bit much, but I love it because it was just
so strange for the unhealed part of me to have
someone that was actually interested in being connected like all
the time, like all throughout the day.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
I was like, this is great. I love it.
Speaker 2 (30:01):
Did it take a bit of you've got being like,
because obviously you've had to break that pattern of like
the kryptonity chaotic switch. Did it take a little bit?
Like And I love that you wrote this in this
section of the book because I was like, oh my god,
that's how I was with Matt. Like Matt wasn't my
usual type in any way, Like he looked different, he
(30:21):
was like all the everything was different about him, and
like it was the first time in ten years that
I've been with a creative again, Like I was always
going for these like very careery, probably the same thing
as you, Like they've valued their worth on what car
they drove, and like I didn't realize I was probably
doing the same. Like it was so because obviously you
bring in a mirror of where you're at as well.
(30:43):
But did it take a little bit for you to
kind of like settle into this really healthy love?
Speaker 1 (30:49):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (30:49):
I mean, you know what was the surprise for me?
Because I remember thinking, how is this story going to
turn out? Because I know it's going to be a
bit different than what I've had before, and the kicker
is that there are death equalities in my current partner
that are still similar to my dad. And it was
this realization of I don't need someone exactly opposite to that.
It's about a healthier version of that, which is was
(31:12):
my big surprise.
Speaker 1 (31:13):
I was like, what, this is crazy? But yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:16):
It was definitely a sort of a journey of like
going for I went for. I thought I could outsmart
that process by thinking if I go some completely opposite
and different I was dating, you know, Germans and just
like overseas in BALI going on dates. I was open
to anything. But it turned out what was actually compatible
for me was you know, someone in Australia that actually
(31:39):
came from we both come from the southern part of Australia,
you know, like we have a similar value system. And
I realized that for me that actually worked really well.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
And you've just mentioned value system.
Speaker 2 (31:49):
How important is it to find someone that there is
an alignment of values?
Speaker 1 (31:54):
Super important?
Speaker 3 (31:55):
Because even if we want different things, and I have
a chapter about that, what if we want like a
different stuff in our lives, like someone wants to go
on a psychedelic journey and the other partners really triggered
by that, and like, where can we find the common
ground in the values behind that and we can figure
out that we'll actually in both of those journeys, there's
still the desire for freedom, the desire for family and connection,
(32:19):
and then we can find some common ground to understand
each other and make sure our sort of visions are
aligned for our lives. But yeah, it takes figuring out
the bigger picture to get there.
Speaker 1 (32:30):
Oh, I love it.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
Okay, So I love this what if part of the book. Yes,
And I wrote down some of my faves can and
I love the bit I've written a note about Maximus
your cat here.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
What if I can't be alone?
Speaker 2 (32:48):
Like, loneliness is a big thing for people, So personally this,
I'm the opposite.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
I'm a wolf, Like.
Speaker 2 (32:54):
I'm like I need a loan time now and I
will like separate myself from everyone and just like take
myself to the movies or something like I have to
be alone. Like it's a really really important value of mine.
And Matt and I are very different in that, Like
Matt is Italian and grown up with lots of people
around him, and that's a really important value for him
(33:15):
to be around people, and I love it too. But
that thing, the way people don't think I'm an interroviet
I'm really an introviet, is that I'm like, oh, but
I recharge by like being alone and doing things alone.
So what if you've got either of those fears One,
I need my loon time. I need my lone time,
scared I'm going to lose it. And then two, well,
(33:38):
I can't be alone, like I'm scared of being lonely.
Speaker 3 (33:41):
Love this so much. I love that you've taken those
two sections of the book. Can put them next to
each other. Well, what if I can't be alone? If
we've got that fear that you just like, oh, I
don't want to be alone. Firstly, I have to say
it took me a bit of a journey to figure
this out that that's actually okay to not want to
be alone, because it is a very human need to
want connection and to want to be around others. And
(34:03):
me we exactly, we are hardwired for that. So when
I sort of I went through a bit of a
phase of loneliness myself and I just found I moved
to Byron.
Speaker 1 (34:13):
I was here for a couple months.
Speaker 3 (34:15):
At the start, it was all great new and then
I was like, there was just this time period where
all my friends, everyone was just busy in doing other things,
and I just happened to hit these few weeks where
oh there was no one to hang out with and
I was just with myself and I thought, Okay, well,
I'm going to confront this loneliness. Then I've got an
appetite to find any of those niggerli parts of myself
and figure them out. And what I learned as well
(34:38):
was not only is it okay to want connection, and
it's not really natural for us to spend long periods
of time alone. It's just not what we're designed for.
I also discovered this connection to nature that's always available
to us as well. Like I was starting to talk
to the birds and the trees.
Speaker 1 (34:56):
My world mate, and that was great.
Speaker 3 (34:58):
And actually, Lola, I wonder if a lot of the
time you spend to recharge on your own, you're in nature,
right and kind of there is still a connection happening.
You're just getting a different form of connection. So this
question of you know, what if I need this space
all the time, I need to get away from people.
We think that we want to disconnect, but that's the
opposite of what one of our most fundamental needs is,
(35:20):
which is connection. So what we're really seeking is connection.
But maybe we're needing some time to connect with ourselves,
some time to not have to like put on the
mask of when I'm around another person. I just I'm
always wondering, you know, are you okay?
Speaker 1 (35:33):
Do you need something? Can I be there for you?
Speaker 3 (35:35):
Or I have to be a certain version I've got
to be, you know, bubbly, I've got to be interesting
and when no one's around, oh, I can just be
me right. And this is why we never need space
from our pets, because you like, I can walk around
naked in front of you. I don't like. There's nothing
yeah wrong with a pet being around. They're never going
to demand a certain version of you. They just love
you as you are.
Speaker 2 (35:56):
Are you a Gladiator fan? If you've called your cat Maximus,
that's a good question.
Speaker 3 (36:01):
That's I mean, I did watch Gladiator, but it's not
really connected.
Speaker 2 (36:05):
Yeah, oh mate, I was about to say, all the
second one with Paul Mescale and Pedro Pascal is great.
Speaker 1 (36:11):
I haven't seen that yet. I do need to watch it.
Speaker 2 (36:13):
Oh, I've got I have such a crush on Pedro Pascal.
My boyfriend knows I've got a T shirt with his
face on it, and I was actually I was walking
with our mutual friend Ordana this morning and I was like, oh,
you should see this. It's got my husband Pedro Pescal
in it. Like literally, that's how I talk. But Matt
and I love teasing each other about it. Again, I
(36:34):
think it's about if the relationship has that lightness and
that really open communication is like also, I wouldn't just
whip that one out in front of anybody, but it's
I love the way you talk about like the safety
you need to feel in a in like the when
(36:57):
when you're in a healthy relation. I heard you talk
about this on the Life on Cut pod and you're like, no,
I'm in a really good relationship. Now you are like,
I fear and how important is it for us to
feel like safe in a relationship.
Speaker 3 (37:10):
Well, I feel that if we could sort of define
the goal point for the expansive love partnership, It's like
there is this safety that we find that we could
not find in Chaotic Club. We thought we found it,
but it was like false safety.
Speaker 2 (37:24):
It was like Aladdin's little rug and someone can wrap
it out underneath and new plummet.
Speaker 3 (37:28):
Well one of my long term relationships in Chaotic Club,
Like he was saying, I'm going to marry you. I
can see our wedding day, like we're going to live here.
But it was all fantasy. Not a lot of that
was really actually grounded in reality. And you know, I'm
sure he meant it at the time he thought he did.
But so what real safety looks like? And this is
what we all kind of go on that journey to find.
I think finally in our thirties, we value it. We
(37:51):
actually value what safety brings to our life. And we've
gone through enough knocks and bumps and bruises to realize
that it's this knowing that there is a person who's
got your back, that they are going to be with
you in the hospital room. This is not the person
that's just like sexy and spicy and you know, going
to go and have a fun, wild experience with you, like,
(38:13):
this is someone who's going to be with you through
the challenges of life. There's a reliability that we see
that maybe a wounded version of us is not or
a previous sort of younger version of us isn't valuing
you know, we kind of go, oh, I don't want
that because like I just well, there's still a part
of a seeking to heal these these unresolved patterns by
(38:35):
attracting in the perfect person who's going to bring up
all the lessons. So we learn to value that reliability.
There's a sense of consistency. They actually call you, text you,
show up. There's a predictable pattern. You'll notice that they're
kind and not just to you, but to other people,
to uber drivers, to wait staff, Like oh, that was
(38:58):
such a like heine eye a ha moment for me.
It's like, oh, this is like such a telltale of
the kind of person they are.
Speaker 1 (39:06):
There's a genuineness to them.
Speaker 3 (39:07):
They will encourage you to have your own interests, not
just you know, you've got to be into what I'm into.
They want you to have your own friends, they want
you to go for your own dreams, and they'll try
and support you in that as best as they can.
And these are the qualities that just like, yeah, we
might take a long time for us to actually see,
but that's what creates intimacy in our lives. That's what
(39:29):
creates a relationship that can go the distance.
Speaker 2 (39:33):
I love the I love the way you said kind
not just to us, but in and in a like
social environment outside of the relationship, because you get the
especially the start of dating, it's like universe, God, whatever
you want to call it, gives you these little little
like the rose colored glasses just pop down for a second.
Speaker 1 (39:53):
You're like, whoa, hang on. I remember I was at
a restaurant.
Speaker 2 (39:56):
I was head over heels with a kryptonite chaotic and
the waitress forgot to bring over cutlery oh no, and
he kind of snapped at her, and so I got
up and went got the cutler and apologized to her,
and I walked back down and sat down, and he goes,
you should go for a job here, And I was like,
peak of my book. Career, like I was doing really
(40:16):
well career wise, and I was like, oh, you're a
bit main, you're a mean, which turns to unhappy. That's
obviously lay and I have it brilliant in so many
other ways by the way this person, but it was
a real kryptonite kind of love because to me they
were like would move mountains, but at the cost of
like the way that other people treated I was like, oh, yucky.
Speaker 3 (40:37):
And also there's an inconsistency with that hot and cold,
like I'm sure sometimes he was great with you, yeah,
but then like because otherwise why would we stay? I
think this is the misconception with these unhealthy relationships where
we kind of look at it like, oh, like why
would someone stay in that? But it's because there's good stuff,
Like there's the oh, like they see me in the
way no one else does, and all of this great stuff,
but then there is these key moments where they also
(41:00):
bring it in. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (41:02):
I have two more questions for you.
Speaker 2 (41:03):
I could talk to you all day long, and the
last one's going to end out in one of my
own fears. But I have to ask you this, and
this is a very pop culture question, but have you
seen it ends with us? And how did you feel
about the way that love was portrayed?
Speaker 1 (41:17):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (41:18):
I mean goodness, Like, yeah, yeah, I've seen it, and
I thought the ending scene was so unrealistic unfortunately, like
I was moved in the moment.
Speaker 1 (41:27):
So where can I spoil it? Yeah? Spoiler spoiler alert, guys.
Speaker 3 (41:30):
When when Blake has her baby or you know her
character and two minutes.
Speaker 1 (41:34):
Later is like waiting divorced?
Speaker 3 (41:36):
Yeah, and she says straight away, we're getting divorced, and
he handles that well and the fact that he just
gets it and he's like, oh, you're right, Like I
am toxic and I am bad for the baby, and
like that's not how it would go down in the
real world. Unfortunately, people have too much people who are
like that, who can't see themselves. There's way too much
shame that they don't want to look at within themselves,
so they'll jump into protection and like defensive mode and
(42:00):
you know, arguing. So that was quite unrealistic, but absolutely
that relationship was ah yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:06):
Not so safe, not sa at all.
Speaker 2 (42:08):
No. Well, for the listener, it's like DV and a
little bit of I would say sexual assault was in
there as well, and it the pattern of Blake Lively's
character is that she kind of like downplays the deep
that doesn't mean to but out of protecting.
Speaker 1 (42:22):
And loving him so much.
Speaker 2 (42:24):
Ryle I think his character's name is she keeps going
back and then you don't realize until he really crosses
the line that all the flashback scenes show all this
DV and it makes you it does make you as
reading your book and looking at that chaotic love because
I'm sure, that's where that would fall if we had
to put into yeah, one of the styles of love,
(42:45):
and obviously it's toxic and unhealthy as well, but it
does make you realize, not realize, but like almost feel
for like a female in that scenario, because you're like, fuck,
you would want to see the best and it'd.
Speaker 1 (42:56):
Be so good and like like.
Speaker 2 (42:58):
You're saying that amazing, like why old sex and spicy,
and and they'd be.
Speaker 1 (43:03):
So loyal, so dedicated, like it's so handsome.
Speaker 2 (43:07):
Yeah, but it's I was like, I've got to ask
you because I imagine it would have do you know.
I went to in lay the influencer like screening of it,
and they didn't play the warning, and so there was
a scene where the whole the whole theater was like inhaling,
but I was and I remember telling you, friend, far out,
(43:28):
I hope by the time it comes out, And I
was so happy when I watched again on a plane
and straight away there was a drigger warning, yeah, how good,
Like I was like great, And there was like at
the end all the helplines to call like I love
that they By the time it got to the public,
it was so like I want to say, like packaged
(43:48):
up in a way where people knew what they were
going into, and then at the end there were like
these are the resources.
Speaker 3 (43:54):
Definitely, And on the plus side, I will say, Lola,
it did quite accurately depict what it's like to lie
to yourself in a scenario like that, the way that
you said like that, then all the flashbacks happened and
she was like, oh, wait, now I see it. But
it's quite like that because we're lost in a fantasy.
And I think if I could also add another like
clue to what it feels like in the chaotic love
(44:14):
you're lost in fantasy. Often you're excusing behavior, shouldn't excuse
you're you're ignoring what you're actually feeling. You're saying, no,
that's okay, it's all right, we love each other so
much and clinging to this love story to excuse the
pain the things that aren't right.
Speaker 1 (44:32):
Yeah, totally thank you for talking about that. I was like,
I hope she's seen it.
Speaker 2 (44:36):
Yeah, But I will say Blake Love is Fashion was incredibleble.
Speaker 3 (44:40):
Extra reviews on that. I mean, I don't really mind
either way, Like I was.
Speaker 2 (44:44):
I liked it fashon cool. Yeah, I loved it. I
was like, I'm here for the heir, I'm here for
the fashion.
Speaker 1 (44:50):
So good. Yeah, love it.
Speaker 2 (44:51):
I have to ask you about this one and this
is it is written in this book, but I feel
like anyone can relate to it. And I find it
a lot with that acting stuff in LA And it's
the fear of rejection. What if I'm not good enough?
And so every time I send a self tape in America,
if you send it an audition off and it's a
self tape and you don't get it, you don't get
(45:13):
any feedback. You just hear donuts like you just hear nothing,
and then the next audition will come through and you've
completely forgotten.
Speaker 1 (45:18):
It's like a very big act of.
Speaker 2 (45:19):
Non attachment and letting go and putting your heart into
it all at the same time.
Speaker 1 (45:24):
Yeah, And most of.
Speaker 2 (45:26):
The time I'm pretty good with like yoga practice and
stuff and like these self care mechanisms.
Speaker 1 (45:31):
To be really good with the letting go.
Speaker 2 (45:33):
But sometimes I'll be like, ah, wow, that's like sixteen
rejections in a row.
Speaker 1 (45:38):
Am I good enough for this job? You know?
Speaker 2 (45:41):
Like it really makes you doubt and question yourself. So
how can we the listener deal with fear of rejection.
Speaker 3 (45:48):
Well, I want to say, firstly, it's so natural to
have that, taking it personally experience initially right like, that's
just your human self is just always going to feel
that a little like, oh, and that's okay because you
can also have this other awareness that sees through that
story and sees where it's coming from. Now, when we're children,
(46:09):
our greatest two needs more than food and water is
to be accepted and not be rejected. So this takes
us right back to being a child, Like, there will
be moments when you were a child when you were criticized,
you were yelled at for something, you did the wrong thing,
and in that moment of rejection, it's bringing you into
an emotional flashback from the past. So when we can
(46:29):
start to see that, you see, oh, that's not the
adult me right now, that's my inner child feeling this pain,
feeling this rejection. And what did she need or what
did he need to feel enough in that moment? What
could have an adult, a loving parent have said in
that moment And we can be that for ourselves. You
can close your eyes, you can see the pain, you
can be like, oh, yeah, there were times when I
(46:50):
was a kid and I didn't feel enough. What if
someone had told me, like, you're great, you're a good kid,
You're enough, And we can take this another step further.
We can see what some of those key criticisms you
received as a child. Maybe you were frequently told your selfish,
you're lazy, or that you're not prepared enough, or something
like that, and you could easily feel that as an actor, right,
(47:11):
And if you look at each of those criticisms, I
want you to see what's the positive of those qualities.
So if you're lazy, well, that actually is required for
you to be able to rest, and if we don't rest,
we're going to get burnt out. If you're selfish, well,
that's required for you to honor your own needs and
have boundaries and ask what you need.
Speaker 1 (47:30):
And there is a.
Speaker 3 (47:31):
Positive aspect to that too, we can start to neutralize it.
If you're under prepared, well, there's also a requirement for
some efficiency. We can't just get lost in constantly preparing, preparing, preparing.
It's like you get and can get lost in collecting
degrees or studying another qualification. At some point, we just
want to take action so that part of you that
might take action unprepared.
Speaker 1 (47:53):
There's a positive to that too, we can neutralize it.
It's so healing. So there's a practice in the book
to go through all that. I love it. I love it.
Speaker 2 (48:00):
That's such a great idea and it takes the power
out of it straight away.
Speaker 1 (48:05):
All right, Master.
Speaker 2 (48:06):
Relationship Anxiety is officially out now, and you the listener
can read this ripper of a book and I'll put
all the details in the show notes.
Speaker 1 (48:16):
Thank you for jumping on the pod, Georgie, my pleasure.
It's been so much fun. What's your goal with this book?
What do you hope it does? I want it to.
Speaker 3 (48:26):
Get out there further than my first book, if possible,
and I'm.
Speaker 1 (48:29):
Letting go Oprah knock on Oprah's well.
Speaker 3 (48:32):
I set the intention of just a very open one
of I want it to blow my mind with what's
possible because the first one did so now I'm okay
with it being different.
Speaker 1 (48:40):
But let's just see. Ah.
Speaker 2 (48:42):
Well, mate, I'm so excited for you, and I can't
wait for people launch tonight and I'm wanted.
Speaker 1 (48:46):
To be seeing it. Yeah, I can't wait too, Thanks Lola.
Thanks mate.
Speaker 2 (48:53):
That's a wrap on another episode of fearlessly failing as always.
Thank you, Thank you to our guests, and let's continue
the conversation on Instagram.
Speaker 1 (49:04):
I'm at Yamo Lollerberry. This potty my work for podcast
is available on all streaming platforms.
Speaker 2 (49:13):
I'd love it if you could subscribe, rate and comment
and of course spread the love.
Get a.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
I'm Laala Berry, nutritionist, author, actor, TV presenter, and professional oversharer.
This podcast is all about celebrating failure because I believe
it's a chance for us to learn, grow and face
our blind spots. Each week, I'll interview a different guest
about their highs as well as their lows, all in
(00:26):
a bid to.
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Inspire us to feariously fail. Hello, Welcome to the pod.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
Today we have Byron Bay based author Georgie Collinson on
the pod today now. She's an anxiety therapist specializing in
high functioning anxiety. She's a hypnotherapist, a naturopath, a nutritionist,
a mindset coach, and today's chat is really all about
celebrating her newest book, book Number two asked your relationship Anxiety.
(01:03):
It is a great read. And I as someone that
doesn't feel too anxious in a relationship right now, because
I'm in very like healthy, say relationship, but I've definitely
been in the chaotic, cryptonite, toxic.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
Ones in the past.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
But as someone that feels grounded now, I still got
a lot out of it more linked like I associated
all the points around, like career, like fear of rejection.
Speaker 1 (01:26):
Am I not?
Speaker 2 (01:27):
Am I not good enough and all of that kind
of like, It's what I'm trying to say is there's
something for everyone in this book.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
So we break it down.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
I ask loads of questions about like the common fears
that people have around love life. We talk about the
three stages of love, base love, chaotic love, and expansive love.
We talk about little behind the scenes of the book.
The reason how and why Georgie and I know one
another is I coached her on her first book, so
(01:57):
I do podcast and book coaching the side like as
Zoom Cluck clients and consults, and that's how we got
to know each other. And then I introduced her to
my publisher, and my publisher within twenty four hours loved
her and signed her and gave her a book deal.
So it was just so fun to sit down with
her full circle moment, and tonight I'm going to be
(02:20):
in Byron bay M seeing her book launch.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
I'm actually quite anxious about. To be honest, I know people.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
Don't believe this when I say this, but I'm actually
an introvert even though I act like an extrovert. I'm
an extrovert on the pod because it's just me and
one other person, or it's just me talking to a
mic talking to you guys, the listeners. So but when
you put me in a big group of people, I
get sweaty palms and all the things. Anyway, we talk
about all of that in this chat. Georgie is very warm,
very open, and very kind and caring, and so she
(02:48):
just makes it so easy to understand and get your
head around. I think you're gonna love this chat. I
learned so much from her, and I just think it's
a really good chat and episode to listen to. If
you just want to like check him with your mental health,
check him with where you're at with anxiety.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
This ep is for you.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
And her book is officially available now across Australia and
New Zealand all Good bookstores as well as online. It's
called Master Your Relationship Anxiety, Overcome your Worries, doubts and
Insecurities in four Weeks. And her first book is called
The Anxiety Reset Method.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
So both books are brill and Georgie.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Big congrats, my friend, and you're going to crush it
at the book launch night, all right, poru gang big
love boy mait We're going straight into the chat. I'm
so excited to be here. Georgie Collinson, mate anxiety therapist.
You specialize in high functioning anxiety hypno therapists.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
I didn't know that about you.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
Yeah, now, Trath, I knew, nutritionist, I knew, mindset, coach,
I knew, podcaster I knew, and obviously author I knew
as well because we across paths on the first book,
did we not?
Speaker 1 (04:05):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (04:06):
Well, I saw that you were with the publisher that
I wanted to go with, the Lovely Affirm And then
I reached out to you and I was like, Lola.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
Tell me your secrets, Like what do I need to know?
And you were just the best.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
Like, honestly, I don't know that my first book would
have you know, you gave me the introduction, So I'm
just but we.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Kind of coached together, right Like I kind of coach
you over a few sessions, and we got your pitch
deck exactly where you wanted. It was also the most
incredible pitchcheck I've ever seen.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
I was like, this is.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Like twelve pages, whereas mine is like a one page.
Like it was you just told me before we hit record,
You've got a lot of virgo in your chart. It
was coming out in that pitch deck. And I think
like when I introduced you to your publisher, and at
the time my publisher, Cali, she jumped at it, did
she not?
Speaker 3 (04:50):
Yes, literally in like like twenty four.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
Hours, which was amazing. Yeah, oh my god. And now
we're here talking.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
I can't even say on the eve of your book
lunch because today is the day of the Byron book
launch and this is now book two that I have
been madly marking up, highlighting, soaking up. I started reading
on the plane. It's been so fun to soak up.
And it's called Master your Relationship Anxiety, which is kind
(05:19):
of scary to read that, Like, has anyone said, oh,
like it kind of brings up a.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Bit of stuff for you the reader, right, Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
I think the term relationship anxiety is not one that
people are super familiar with, and yet it exists like
it is everywhere.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
And I feel that we may not.
Speaker 3 (05:39):
Consider ourselves, you know, experiencing a lot of anxiety, but
relationship anxiety is such a quite universal experience, like it's
part of our human experience because in relationships, all of
our deepest fears, insecurities, worries, doubts, they're all going to
be brought to the surface, and that's something that we
all kind of have to work through. All have varying
levels of how much triggers us. But yeah, so it's
(06:02):
one that certainly hits a nerve for a lot of people.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
But it's one of my favorite parts of the book,
and I really want to unpack the book in a
seco One of my favorite parts is where you break
down the three styles of all the three types of love.
So I want to do that in a sec But first,
can we rewind a little bit because what I love
when I read about you is that you specialize in
high functioning Is that how I'm saying it right, like
(06:27):
high functioning anxiety? And I was like, hang on a seck,
I think that won't be me. So can you share
that what that means working with people that have high
functioning anxiety?
Speaker 3 (06:39):
Well, you know, the opening line of my first book
is literally when I tell people that I that I
work with women with high functioning anxiety or people with
high functioning anxiety, the first thing I hear is like,
oh my god, that's me, Like I need to So
it's very very common because so much in our society
kind of draws out these traits and we see it
as part of what we need to in order.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
To be successful and survive.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
And so with high functioning anxiety, we're looking at we've
got a lot of perfectionism. Where big people pleases, there
is a lot of self made pressure. Yeah, pretty mean
in a critic going on, and this sense that you're
just never enough, you know, doing enough few and yet
like a lot of us, you know, high achievers doing
(07:21):
really well.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
In many ways.
Speaker 3 (07:22):
But it's kind of like, do we have to live
with that much suffering in order to achieve the things
that we want to do? And I like to challenge
that and say that we can still have the goals,
the big vision for our lives, but there is a
way that we can get there. Whilst I suppose it's
that cliche of enjoying the journey along.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
The way, yeah, one hundred percent.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
And I think that perfectionism to me, it's like best
buds with control, you know. And I think like whenever
I know, whenever I feel like anxious or uncomfortable, it's
usually I'll be like I need to control the situation.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
It's like a real coore way of feeling safe again.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
Yeah, and yeah, just even reading the intro of this book,
I was like.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
Oh, so many people must.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
Feel this thing, because, like you said, if you're high functioning,
you can almost.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Get away with self soothing in probably like the wrong.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
Ways booze bit of emotional leading here and their yeah
sex I imagine as well, and kind of be like, oh,
I feel okay for a second, and then it probably
read is it's ugly.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
Head to get am I right in saying that? Yeah? Definitely?
Speaker 3 (08:32):
And the other ones would be like shopping or buying
stuff to not feel, or burying ourselves in work, like overworking,
because that's a world you can easily control, right Like
I can have all my little ducks in a row
and my calendar and tick things off, and we don't
like that. And you know, like you said, you can
hide high functioning anxiety, and that's why most of us do,
(08:55):
like you can. No one would know on the outside
really unless you let them into your world, that that's
something that's going on for you. So we all walk
around assuming that we're the only ones feeling this way.
But it's so so easy to pretend that you're not
experiencing that anxiety inside.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
And I know you do share this in both of
your books is like this toolkit of like catching ourselves
a little bit, and like breath work is something you're
really passionate about. Just for the listener now if they
are like because for me even like I'll be nervous
tonight by the way, Oh for the listener, I'm am seeing.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Your book launch And when you ask me, I was like, oh,
I'm honored. This is lovely.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
And then like as the day is crept closer and closer,
I'm like, oh, I forgot.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
I'm actually an.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
Introvert and like I love one on one stuff, which
is why I could have hang out with you all
day long like this, But when it's in a group,
I sweat, Like I get sweaty palms. Yeah, but then
I love it after because I feel like I've got
outside my comfort zone. I feel like I've achieved and
all of that. But like for someone listening now and
selfishly myself that has something that they're really excited about
(10:01):
but also a little bit anxious about, what's a little
like self practice that we can or a little mechanism
we can just do on the reg Yeah, well.
Speaker 3 (10:12):
You already you know mentioned something that you can do,
which is you jump forward beyond the discomfort and you
look at what is the reward on the other side,
because we're so used to associating I've got to do
a you know, a public speaking kind of gig with
oh no, all the nerves, all the discomfort and the
anticipation beforehand, but.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
That feeling after you know you love it. I mean
it almost surprises me.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
But then at the same time, doesn't that you feel
that anxiety because it's like you've done this so many times, right,
and I feel some nerves too.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
I'm glad you do.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
Like it's a part of the human experience, right, But
like you, I'm just focusing on I know there is
that Georgie as soon as I'm like maybe halfway through,
like when we're talking on stage, or also towards the end,
where I'm just like, oh, this has gone well.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
I love it. This is so much fun.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
You know, you get to connect with people that are
literally there to learn about what you have to say
in your new book, So like that's a celebration as well.
And I think, yeah, I like the idea of like
getting to that after, like and associating that after like
reward feeling, Yeah, I've done.
Speaker 3 (11:21):
This on planes when there's been turbulence, and I started
to get that thought in my head of like, what
if something happens? You know, yeah, we all think it,
and then I jump forward into oh, what's it going
to be like when I'm there and I'm just lying
back in the bed in the hotel room and I've
already arrived, And that's able. That helps to create that
(11:42):
sort of positive sense. So association with whatever you're doing.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
Oh I love that. Yeah, I've never thought of doing that.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Okay, well we should have a code word tonight and
I'll be like, I'm doing the thing.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
I'm doing the thing.
Speaker 3 (11:52):
It's like exercise, right, you go through a workout, it hurts,
you don't want to do it, but if you learn
to associate it with the high you get after, the
good feeling in your body, well it's so much easier
to get through.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
Totally.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
Always, I've been doing pilates in the whole time I've
been in Byron, and the first ten minutes I'm like,
fuck my life, why am I here looking at the watch?
And then I'm just like, hang on, You're all like
in five minutes, you're record of the way through, and
I'm like, you also get to go to Rodie after
and get a delish dirty chie like this is pretty good,
(12:24):
and you feel so good for the and your moon
and everything for the rest of the day.
Speaker 1 (12:26):
So I love that.
Speaker 2 (12:28):
That's such a good thank you. That's such a good
hack that I will be implementing.
Speaker 3 (12:31):
Yeah. Now, the other one I would say is just
literally I'll be talking to my inner child, because there's
that like part of me that is like, oh no,
I've been rejected before, or what if people judge me
that didn't feel good once upon a time, And so
I speak.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
To that part of me and I'm like, oh, you're
gonna be great.
Speaker 3 (12:49):
And it does take that, you know, even now, it's
this constant relationship that we nurture with ourselves where you know,
my wise older self talks to my younger self and
I'm just like you do you.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
I know you've done a fair bit of TV. Do
you get nervous when you do TV?
Speaker 1 (13:03):
Yeah? Oh? Do you know my rule is for TV? Well?
I learn it when I first started.
Speaker 2 (13:08):
I started in telling when I was like twenty three
and I had a business part at the time, and
he goes the three piece and I was like, all right,
and it's never let me down. Passion, passion, posture, because
I always I got really big boobs. I always hunch,
especially with cooking demos and purpose. And so if you're
connected to your three p's, your passion, your purpose. Also
(13:31):
like also if you're doing something you love, it kind
of takes the noise of the anxiety away. And then posture,
well that's just because I slouch, but like a good
it's a good one of like I always finally, if
I'm nervous as well, if I come back to like
why I'm there, what my purpose is, And I always
find in a social environment, if I have a purpose,
it takes away a lot of fear. Yeah, it's letting
(13:53):
that like smaller you step away, like make way for
the greater purpose that you're here to present.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
I love it, love it. Oh my god, I could
talk to you all day long.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
Well, let's we've got to talk about this book because
it's so much fun to read about. First of all,
I have to say, the first book, Oprah's Book Club,
what the how did you just get a call from
your publisher and you're like come again?
Speaker 1 (14:15):
It was pretty crazy? And do you know what?
Speaker 3 (14:17):
It came at a time where i'd really slowed down
as well, like I was just doing focusing on my clients,
like you know, not not trying so much to kind
of put myself out there, and then it just like
appeared it was it was crazy.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
Well, there goes that, and that is that theory.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
When we don't control and hold on too tight, we
make space for everything to come in. Yes, my boyfriend
Matt is so good at that.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
And whereas I'm like, I like, no, I will hold on.
But my acting coach taught me this thing, I reckon.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
You'll love it because a lot of actors when they
learn scripts, they hold on too tight, like and they're like,
you must see all the work I have done, And
they say, pretend you have a little baby bird in
your hands and you want to care for it. You
want to look after it, you want to make sure
it's fair. But if you hold on too tight, you're
going to squash the bird. So you'd never want to
do that. You just want to hold it with care.
So it's kind yeah, and so it's like the letting
(15:05):
go thing becomes easier thing because you're trusting a little
bit that this babybird's going to be able to fly
one day.
Speaker 3 (15:10):
Yes, And I have to say, like I always kind
of had not that I could ever predict that Oprah
was going to pick up my book, but I always
had this feeling about it that, like before I even
spoke to you, I was like, I'm going to write
a book this year, and I just it all. The
fact that it flowed, like I met, you know, reconnected
through it. There was also the fact that the publishers
(15:32):
picked it up and then Oprah picked it up, like
there was this flow the whole time.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
You know, when stuff it does just work.
Speaker 3 (15:38):
There are some things we're really like challenged by and
we keep getting brick walls and we have to overcome
those challenges. For some reason, the book thing just flowed
for me, and I just keep trusting that.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
Oh as you should, my friend, And this NEWI is
flipping unreal to you. The listener officially available all over
Astrow in New Zealand, and I'm going to have links
in the.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
Show notes so you can buy it today.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
Can you teach me about common fears we have when
it comes to our love life.
Speaker 3 (16:05):
Yes, well, our mind will typically tell us something like
what if they leave me?
Speaker 1 (16:10):
That's a really common one.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
But even if we're in a really secure relationship where
everything's stable and we're like, no, they're not going to
leave me of their own free will, but what if
something happens to them? We can still have that fear
show up in a different a different way.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
That's abandonment, right.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
It's abandonment. And how crazy we can still have that
even when that person you know, you've got all that
trust there by your side, you're like.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
Well, what if they get sick?
Speaker 3 (16:33):
And that's where we start like feeding them all the
supplements and making sure nothing happens to them. We might
have that fear of like what if I'm not good
enough for them? Or what if I'm too needy? Is
a really common one. And what if we're not having
sex enough? Is like such a classic, especially for women,
because we kind of like measure that on how safe
we are, like are we keeping them satisfied?
Speaker 1 (16:53):
Could and also be a value.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
There's a lot I've had mates that value themselves on
like how often they have sex and myfe oh my god.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Yeah, but it's common.
Speaker 3 (17:02):
It's so common. Then there's like what if we're not
in love enough? What if I, like we fall out
of love? What if I'm not with the right person
is a really common one, like this idea that we
have to be with this perfect partner. And then of
course there are some things that come up where we're
like is that a red flag? Like what if this
isn't healthy? And then finally, the sort of last category
(17:24):
is like what if I need space all the time
and I'm instantly trying to get out this relationship, will
get away from them or they're not quite what I
thought I would be with. Yeah, and we're sort of,
you know, finding ourselves keeping them at arm's length a
little so.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
Interesting, So they kind of come under these big like
feelings that we can have in any state, like I
would say this applies to It was really interesting reading
this because I was like, oh, I feel all this
is my career too, like lost, an abandonment, rejection and
need for approval, feeling trapped or stuck in a situation
that's my worst feeling in the world, and then fear
(17:58):
of losing self. And I'm like, all of them you
could feel in almost any part of your life.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
Yeah, yeah, it's so true.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
And even though I wrote the book in the context
of romantic relationships, certainly applies a lot of it. To
friendships or parent relationships like siblings, all of it because
obviously maybe not the sex questions, but.
Speaker 1 (18:20):
Hopefully one would hope.
Speaker 3 (18:21):
I chose the topic of romantic relationships to keep us
nice and niche, And that's also where we're most intimate
and most vulnerable with another person. Typically, like you know,
everything gets exposed there. We're living usually with someone day in,
day out, So it meant we could go deeper on
a lot of things. But it definitely applies to a
(18:43):
lot of different areas of life.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
There was a quote I wrote down from the book
that I was like, Oh, I've never thought about this before.
Anxiety is useful to some degree.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
Unpack that for me.
Speaker 3 (18:56):
Friend, Well, this is like one of my big messages
for people, which is we we seem to see anxiety
as this big problem we need to get rid of,
and we really demonize it. But if we use anxiety
as a friend, as a messenger, and we see that
it actually has some kind of information to share with us,
it's usually communicating something that we need, something that might
(19:18):
be a little out of balance, and that could be
like more like nutrition or gun health. It could be
like a physical thing like that. Usually it's a combination
of a few, but it could also be I'm not
feeling safe, and sometimes when you're in a relationship, that's
really useful to feel that, to know, Okay, I'm not
(19:38):
feeling safe, and then we can take it to the
next step, which is how do we create that safety
for you. Is it that there are recurring actions from
that partner that you are with that are actually creating
this lack of safety, or is there something you need
to communicate, start to share in order to create that safety,
or maybe some inner work to do as well.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
I love that you said about like commut like something
you might to communicate. And I people always say, wow,
what's your secret power. I'm like, oh, therapy. And my
therapist is a hypnotherapist, which you will love love that.
And I didn't know till like six sessions in. I
was like, so, I saw you've said you're a hypnotherapist.
He's like yeah, and I go, well, when are we
going to do it? And he's like, Lola, We've been
(20:18):
doing it in every session. I had no idea, but
we were visualizing so much. I just thought we were
doing visualizations. I had no idea.
Speaker 3 (20:25):
That's actually smart because of that control part of you
to let you actually go into the safety of going
through that experience, because a lot of people are like,
are you controlling me?
Speaker 2 (20:35):
You know, I like, hand on my heart, Georgie, I
had no idea that I'd been doing hypno this whole time.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
Like he burst into laughter. That is so funny.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
He's like, yeah, Lola, we've eaten so fun But yeah,
I like the way you describe community, like the power
of communication. There's a movie I really want you to see.
It's called My Old Ass Oh, and it's a eighteen
year old girl and she takes mushrooms in the forest
(21:04):
and she hallucinates and sees her thirty nine year old
self and they become buds and like can communicate and stuff.
But it's really cool what the thirty nine year old
self can teach the eighteen year old self. And it
made me realize what a gift I'm thirty nine. I
was like, what a gift is to be thirty nine.
And one of the things was this line in the
(21:27):
movie is like you give less of a shit about
what other people think of you. And then the way
you just mentioned full circle about like when we feel
anxiety or not safe it's about communicating that and I
think as I've got old, I'm really comfortable communicating even
to boss like Matt, like we're you know, stuff chat,
we're both creative. Stuff changes all the time, and I'll
(21:49):
be like, oh, I'm feeling really uncomfortable about this, and
he's like, all right, let's sit and talk about it.
But we're also both in therapy, which is why we're
so comfortable sitting in uncomfortable conversations. How key do you think,
like open and honest communication is when it comes to relationships.
Speaker 3 (22:04):
Incredibly like important, but I will say caveat to that
is delivery also matters. Yeah, so the care we can
have for the other person, like because I could tell,
you know, I could be in a relationship with someone
and say, you know, I walked past an attractive man
in the street. Maybe we're in Byron, maybe I will
past Crim's all attractive.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
Matt and I have a theory that everyone has a
hot filter on here, like everyone just looks so beautiful, so.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
Many surfer dudes, Like you know, we both walked.
Speaker 3 (22:32):
Fast to Hemsworth brother at some point, and it's like,
you know, what if I I could be honest with
my partner and say like, I saw this super hot
man and you know, for a flicker of a moment,
my brain went into a fantasy there. Or I could
just sort of not share that, and it's not not
being honest, but it's just also being mindful of how
that's going to land for someone else, right, Or I
(22:54):
could share it and be like, such a silly thing
like this happened.
Speaker 1 (22:57):
You know you can. You can choose the way you
share that information, and I think that matters too.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
You will laugh when we see hemy. My boyfriend will
text and be like Aisle seven woolies thaw, and I'll
be like, I'm there, I'm there.
Speaker 1 (23:11):
I think we both have an equal crush on him.
That's why. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
But I also think, like the way you said about silly,
like you could deliver it like in a silly way.
I think that lightness as well, if your relationship has
that element. I've been in a relationships before where that
element isn't there, and it wouldn't.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
Be it wouldn't feel right to share.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
Something like probably because and I'm about I really want
to talk about the stages of probably, because I was
in a chaotic glob at that stage of the game,
that's it. But like when you feel safe, it is
it does feel you do feel safe to make a
little joke like, oh God, wouldn't mind a bit of thaw,
you know, yeah, And usually the second person will be like, yeah,
me too, so gorgeous. To be fair, I think if
(23:49):
I saw Thor in the supermarket, my partner would be like,
why didn't you text me? Exactly exactly. It's so fun.
It's so fun when you see thought. Okay, so one,
can you teach me about the three stages of love?
Speaker 1 (24:02):
Because as I was reading it, I was like.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
Oh, oh yes, yes, you've nailed it. So let's share
it with a listener.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
It's so cool.
Speaker 3 (24:10):
So these stages we all typically if we're on a
growth journey in our lives through relationships and love, we
will move through all of these stages. Ideally, some people
move through it with just one person and they're like
maybe they were high school sweethearts and they went through
their rocky times and they kind of grow together. But
a lot of us will have these stages with different people.
(24:32):
The first stage is base love, and that is where
you tend to sort of find yourself in a relationship
where maybe it's not quite who you would really choose
for yourself, but you don't know yourself enough at that
point to even have that awareness.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
It's maybe who your parents would have liked you to
be with.
Speaker 3 (24:48):
And you sort of come together and it's nice and
it's good and it's easy enough. But then for some
reason your life parts go in different directions. Maybe there's
that sort of immature someone cheats on someone that you're young,
or you move to different cities to study, and so
eventually we sort of move on. For me and my
experience of that, I just had this calling of well,
(25:08):
ultimately my inner child needed to do more healing, and
I was kind of I just felt like it was
it had reached the end. And then we move into
Chaotic Club, which is where it is Heaven, Kryptonitemate, and
it is hell yeah, like all at once, so all
your dreams come true and you just think, oh my god,
I didn't know love could be this good. We're addicted
to each other, this is so passionate, and all your
(25:30):
wounds come up as well, and it's just like awful
at the same time, or further down the track it
becomes really really horrible.
Speaker 1 (25:37):
So it's a big roller coaster, but all for our growth.
Speaker 3 (25:41):
And so if you're in the chaotic love and you're
kind of like I keep attracting emotionally unavailable people, I'm
in a toxic relationship, whatever it might be, just know
that if you can do your lessons, if you can
work through and realize, oh damn, look I'm not speaking
up for myself or I'm allowing this to have in,
you start to grow and evolve. And that's where we
(26:02):
move into the next stage, which is expansive love, which
is where we have become a more mature partner. We
are showing up for ourselves essentially, and that allows us
to be more of one of those interdependent relationships where
we can be side by side in life. It's not
like intense and crazy like the chaotic love. It's much
(26:23):
more of like a temperate climate and everything's a lot
more stable. We still have conflicting still come up, but
that's also part of just living life in a mature
context with another human being. So we grow together, is
the summary of the expansive love, and that becomes a
really exciting, fulfilling journey to embark upon.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
So nice hearing that as well, like but also just
a question on that is it? And this might be
a massive blanket, but provide if you don't say, with
that high school sweetheart, beautiful based love and like it's
a really like always think your first love if it's
that style and base like it's a really beautiful, like
warm hug. Yeah, but that chaotic one for me was
(27:07):
all like a big chunk of my twenties and it was.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
A good decade.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
And then it was not until like thirty one where
I had a much clearer sense of self that I
met Bosso, who's in the room but doing work. And
it was a full, almost to the day, ten years
between my base love and meeting Matt and he's the
crazy thing. They both had the same careers. Yeah, how
weird is that?
Speaker 3 (27:33):
So you went on this whole evolution and then you
came back to some of those things were still right
and aligned for you. So those qualities, those themes, Yeah, but.
Speaker 2 (27:42):
The amount of chaos in that ten years. Mate. My therapist,
the hypnotherapists wonder how walked in He goes, right, how
long are you going to date narcissis slola because we
need to put it into this And I was like,
oh my god, my god, I love your therapist.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
No, yeah, he's brutal. He's the best.
Speaker 3 (27:57):
Like sometimes we need that because chaotic lif is grueling,
but it's also like terribly difficult to break out of.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
Like I was there, Lola. That's why I wrote this book.
Speaker 3 (28:06):
I was like, how the hell do I stop getting
in these cycles? Because it was like I knew how
to manage anxiety everywhere else in my life, but dating
someone or getting in a relationship it was my achilles
heel and then I'd just be flawed and I just
felt like a shell of myself.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
Well, I think you're not alone.
Speaker 2 (28:22):
I think this is like it's like common in like
I think about like the uptick in like all the
different dating apps, Like people are looking and wanting to
find that right person. Matt and I meant on bumble
women on dating app. But my point is is like
people are out there looking and wanting to get out
of those like patterns or habits. And I like the
(28:43):
way that you have kind of shared in other interviews
that like it can be a childhood pattern. Two, Like
your dad was really busy and working all the time,
and so you would pick people that maybe you weren't
the first priority. Maybe you were kind of like were
more into their work than you, and like it kind
of makes sense when you look back at the way,
like that would have.
Speaker 1 (29:02):
Been a normal value system for you, exactly.
Speaker 3 (29:04):
Like classic example, So my dad was really busy all
the time and very inconsistently available, so you have a
lot of time for me, not.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
Very interested in me as a person.
Speaker 3 (29:14):
It was kind of like, you know, he was loving
at moments, but like you know, it was rare and
so like loved me, I guess underneath. But that led
to that norm for me in relationships, which was, oh,
it's okay if they don't message me.
Speaker 1 (29:28):
For three days, they're just busy. They're just busy with work.
Speaker 3 (29:31):
They still like me, they still you know, love me,
they're just busy. Like that was so normal, whereas when
I met my current partner, it was like such a shock.
Speaker 1 (29:38):
He calls me multiple times a day.
Speaker 3 (29:41):
Yes, so nice, And I was like, yeah, I know,
it's the best thing, but at the time, like it
was so unfamiliar. I was like, oh, this is a
bit much, but I love it because it was just
so strange for the unhealed part of me to have
someone that was actually interested in being connected like all
the time, like all throughout the day.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
I was like, this is great. I love it.
Speaker 2 (30:01):
Did it take a bit of you've got being like,
because obviously you've had to break that pattern of like
the kryptonity chaotic switch. Did it take a little bit?
Like And I love that you wrote this in this
section of the book because I was like, oh my god,
that's how I was with Matt. Like Matt wasn't my
usual type in any way, Like he looked different, he
(30:21):
was like all the everything was different about him, and
like it was the first time in ten years that
I've been with a creative again, Like I was always
going for these like very careery, probably the same thing
as you, Like they've valued their worth on what car
they drove, and like I didn't realize I was probably
doing the same. Like it was so because obviously you
bring in a mirror of where you're at as well.
(30:43):
But did it take a little bit for you to
kind of like settle into this really healthy love?
Speaker 1 (30:49):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (30:49):
I mean, you know what was the surprise for me?
Because I remember thinking, how is this story going to
turn out? Because I know it's going to be a
bit different than what I've had before, and the kicker
is that there are death equalities in my current partner
that are still similar to my dad. And it was
this realization of I don't need someone exactly opposite to that.
It's about a healthier version of that, which is was
(31:12):
my big surprise.
Speaker 1 (31:13):
I was like, what, this is crazy? But yeah.
Speaker 3 (31:16):
It was definitely a sort of a journey of like
going for I went for. I thought I could outsmart
that process by thinking if I go some completely opposite
and different I was dating, you know, Germans and just
like overseas in BALI going on dates. I was open
to anything. But it turned out what was actually compatible
for me was you know, someone in Australia that actually
(31:39):
came from we both come from the southern part of Australia,
you know, like we have a similar value system. And
I realized that for me that actually worked really well.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
And you've just mentioned value system.
Speaker 2 (31:49):
How important is it to find someone that there is
an alignment of values?
Speaker 1 (31:54):
Super important?
Speaker 3 (31:55):
Because even if we want different things, and I have
a chapter about that, what if we want like a
different stuff in our lives, like someone wants to go
on a psychedelic journey and the other partners really triggered
by that, and like, where can we find the common
ground in the values behind that and we can figure
out that we'll actually in both of those journeys, there's
still the desire for freedom, the desire for family and connection,
(32:19):
and then we can find some common ground to understand
each other and make sure our sort of visions are
aligned for our lives. But yeah, it takes figuring out
the bigger picture to get there.
Speaker 1 (32:30):
Oh, I love it.
Speaker 2 (32:30):
Okay, So I love this what if part of the book. Yes,
And I wrote down some of my faves can and
I love the bit I've written a note about Maximus
your cat here.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
What if I can't be alone?
Speaker 2 (32:48):
Like, loneliness is a big thing for people, So personally this,
I'm the opposite.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
I'm a wolf, Like.
Speaker 2 (32:54):
I'm like I need a loan time now and I
will like separate myself from everyone and just like take
myself to the movies or something like I have to
be alone. Like it's a really really important value of mine.
And Matt and I are very different in that, Like
Matt is Italian and grown up with lots of people
around him, and that's a really important value for him
(33:15):
to be around people, and I love it too. But
that thing, the way people don't think I'm an interroviet
I'm really an introviet, is that I'm like, oh, but
I recharge by like being alone and doing things alone.
So what if you've got either of those fears One,
I need my loon time. I need my lone time,
scared I'm going to lose it. And then two, well,
(33:38):
I can't be alone, like I'm scared of being lonely.
Speaker 3 (33:41):
Love this so much. I love that you've taken those
two sections of the book. Can put them next to
each other. Well, what if I can't be alone? If
we've got that fear that you just like, oh, I
don't want to be alone. Firstly, I have to say
it took me a bit of a journey to figure
this out that that's actually okay to not want to
be alone, because it is a very human need to
want connection and to want to be around others. And
(34:03):
me we exactly, we are hardwired for that. So when
I sort of I went through a bit of a
phase of loneliness myself and I just found I moved
to Byron.
Speaker 1 (34:13):
I was here for a couple months.
Speaker 3 (34:15):
At the start, it was all great new and then
I was like, there was just this time period where
all my friends, everyone was just busy in doing other things,
and I just happened to hit these few weeks where
oh there was no one to hang out with and
I was just with myself and I thought, Okay, well,
I'm going to confront this loneliness. Then I've got an
appetite to find any of those niggerli parts of myself
and figure them out. And what I learned as well
(34:38):
was not only is it okay to want connection, and
it's not really natural for us to spend long periods
of time alone. It's just not what we're designed for.
I also discovered this connection to nature that's always available
to us as well. Like I was starting to talk
to the birds and the trees.
Speaker 1 (34:56):
My world mate, and that was great.
Speaker 3 (34:58):
And actually, Lola, I wonder if a lot of the
time you spend to recharge on your own, you're in nature,
right and kind of there is still a connection happening.
You're just getting a different form of connection. So this
question of you know, what if I need this space
all the time, I need to get away from people.
We think that we want to disconnect, but that's the
opposite of what one of our most fundamental needs is,
(35:20):
which is connection. So what we're really seeking is connection.
But maybe we're needing some time to connect with ourselves,
some time to not have to like put on the
mask of when I'm around another person. I just I'm
always wondering, you know, are you okay?
Speaker 1 (35:33):
Do you need something? Can I be there for you?
Speaker 3 (35:35):
Or I have to be a certain version I've got
to be, you know, bubbly, I've got to be interesting
and when no one's around, oh, I can just be
me right. And this is why we never need space
from our pets, because you like, I can walk around
naked in front of you. I don't like. There's nothing
yeah wrong with a pet being around. They're never going
to demand a certain version of you. They just love
you as you are.
Speaker 2 (35:56):
Are you a Gladiator fan? If you've called your cat Maximus,
that's a good question.
Speaker 3 (36:01):
That's I mean, I did watch Gladiator, but it's not
really connected.
Speaker 2 (36:05):
Yeah, oh mate, I was about to say, all the
second one with Paul Mescale and Pedro Pascal is great.
Speaker 1 (36:11):
I haven't seen that yet. I do need to watch it.
Speaker 2 (36:13):
Oh, I've got I have such a crush on Pedro Pascal.
My boyfriend knows I've got a T shirt with his
face on it, and I was actually I was walking
with our mutual friend Ordana this morning and I was like, oh,
you should see this. It's got my husband Pedro Pescal
in it. Like literally, that's how I talk. But Matt
and I love teasing each other about it. Again, I
(36:34):
think it's about if the relationship has that lightness and
that really open communication is like also, I wouldn't just
whip that one out in front of anybody, but it's
I love the way you talk about like the safety
you need to feel in a in like the when
(36:57):
when you're in a healthy relation. I heard you talk
about this on the Life on Cut pod and you're like, no,
I'm in a really good relationship. Now you are like,
I fear and how important is it for us to
feel like safe in a relationship.
Speaker 3 (37:10):
Well, I feel that if we could sort of define
the goal point for the expansive love partnership, It's like
there is this safety that we find that we could
not find in Chaotic Club. We thought we found it,
but it was like false safety.
Speaker 2 (37:24):
It was like Aladdin's little rug and someone can wrap
it out underneath and new plummet.
Speaker 3 (37:28):
Well one of my long term relationships in Chaotic Club,
Like he was saying, I'm going to marry you. I
can see our wedding day, like we're going to live here.
But it was all fantasy. Not a lot of that
was really actually grounded in reality. And you know, I'm
sure he meant it at the time he thought he did.
But so what real safety looks like? And this is
what we all kind of go on that journey to find.
I think finally in our thirties, we value it. We
(37:51):
actually value what safety brings to our life. And we've
gone through enough knocks and bumps and bruises to realize
that it's this knowing that there is a person who's
got your back, that they are going to be with
you in the hospital room. This is not the person
that's just like sexy and spicy and you know, going
to go and have a fun, wild experience with you, like,
(38:13):
this is someone who's going to be with you through
the challenges of life. There's a reliability that we see
that maybe a wounded version of us is not or
a previous sort of younger version of us isn't valuing
you know, we kind of go, oh, I don't want
that because like I just well, there's still a part
of a seeking to heal these these unresolved patterns by
(38:35):
attracting in the perfect person who's going to bring up
all the lessons. So we learn to value that reliability.
There's a sense of consistency. They actually call you, text you,
show up. There's a predictable pattern. You'll notice that they're
kind and not just to you, but to other people,
to uber drivers, to wait staff, Like oh, that was
(38:58):
such a like heine eye a ha moment for me.
It's like, oh, this is like such a telltale of
the kind of person they are.
Speaker 1 (39:06):
There's a genuineness to them.
Speaker 3 (39:07):
They will encourage you to have your own interests, not
just you know, you've got to be into what I'm into.
They want you to have your own friends, they want
you to go for your own dreams, and they'll try
and support you in that as best as they can.
And these are the qualities that just like, yeah, we
might take a long time for us to actually see,
but that's what creates intimacy in our lives. That's what
(39:29):
creates a relationship that can go the distance.
Speaker 2 (39:33):
I love the I love the way you said kind
not just to us, but in and in a like
social environment outside of the relationship, because you get the
especially the start of dating, it's like universe, God, whatever
you want to call it, gives you these little little
like the rose colored glasses just pop down for a second.
Speaker 1 (39:53):
You're like, whoa, hang on. I remember I was at
a restaurant.
Speaker 2 (39:56):
I was head over heels with a kryptonite chaotic and
the waitress forgot to bring over cutlery oh no, and
he kind of snapped at her, and so I got
up and went got the cutler and apologized to her,
and I walked back down and sat down, and he goes,
you should go for a job here, And I was like,
peak of my book. Career, like I was doing really
(40:16):
well career wise, and I was like, oh, you're a
bit main, you're a mean, which turns to unhappy. That's
obviously lay and I have it brilliant in so many
other ways by the way this person, but it was
a real kryptonite kind of love because to me they
were like would move mountains, but at the cost of
like the way that other people treated I was like, oh, yucky.
Speaker 3 (40:37):
And also there's an inconsistency with that hot and cold,
like I'm sure sometimes he was great with you, yeah,
but then like because otherwise why would we stay? I
think this is the misconception with these unhealthy relationships where
we kind of look at it like, oh, like why
would someone stay in that? But it's because there's good stuff,
Like there's the oh, like they see me in the
way no one else does, and all of this great stuff,
but then there is these key moments where they also
(41:00):
bring it in. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (41:02):
I have two more questions for you.
Speaker 2 (41:03):
I could talk to you all day long, and the
last one's going to end out in one of my
own fears. But I have to ask you this, and
this is a very pop culture question, but have you
seen it ends with us? And how did you feel
about the way that love was portrayed?
Speaker 1 (41:17):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (41:18):
I mean goodness, Like, yeah, yeah, I've seen it, and
I thought the ending scene was so unrealistic unfortunately, like
I was moved in the moment.
Speaker 1 (41:27):
So where can I spoil it? Yeah? Spoiler spoiler alert, guys.
Speaker 3 (41:30):
When when Blake has her baby or you know her
character and two minutes.
Speaker 1 (41:34):
Later is like waiting divorced?
Speaker 3 (41:36):
Yeah, and she says straight away, we're getting divorced, and
he handles that well and the fact that he just
gets it and he's like, oh, you're right, Like I
am toxic and I am bad for the baby, and
like that's not how it would go down in the
real world. Unfortunately, people have too much people who are
like that, who can't see themselves. There's way too much
shame that they don't want to look at within themselves,
so they'll jump into protection and like defensive mode and
(42:00):
you know, arguing. So that was quite unrealistic, but absolutely
that relationship was ah yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:06):
Not so safe, not sa at all.
Speaker 2 (42:08):
No. Well, for the listener, it's like DV and a
little bit of I would say sexual assault was in
there as well, and it the pattern of Blake Lively's
character is that she kind of like downplays the deep
that doesn't mean to but out of protecting.
Speaker 1 (42:22):
And loving him so much.
Speaker 2 (42:24):
Ryle I think his character's name is she keeps going
back and then you don't realize until he really crosses
the line that all the flashback scenes show all this
DV and it makes you it does make you as
reading your book and looking at that chaotic love because
I'm sure, that's where that would fall if we had
to put into yeah, one of the styles of love,
(42:45):
and obviously it's toxic and unhealthy as well, but it
does make you realize, not realize, but like almost feel
for like a female in that scenario, because you're like, fuck,
you would want to see the best and it'd.
Speaker 1 (42:56):
Be so good and like like.
Speaker 2 (42:58):
You're saying that amazing, like why old sex and spicy,
and and they'd be.
Speaker 1 (43:03):
So loyal, so dedicated, like it's so handsome.
Speaker 2 (43:07):
Yeah, but it's I was like, I've got to ask
you because I imagine it would have do you know.
I went to in lay the influencer like screening of it,
and they didn't play the warning, and so there was
a scene where the whole the whole theater was like inhaling,
but I was and I remember telling you, friend, far out,
(43:28):
I hope by the time it comes out, And I
was so happy when I watched again on a plane
and straight away there was a drigger warning, yeah, how good,
Like I was like great, And there was like at
the end all the helplines to call like I love
that they By the time it got to the public,
it was so like I want to say, like packaged
(43:48):
up in a way where people knew what they were
going into, and then at the end there were like
these are the resources.
Speaker 3 (43:54):
Definitely, And on the plus side, I will say, Lola,
it did quite accurately depict what it's like to lie
to yourself in a scenario like that, the way that
you said like that, then all the flashbacks happened and
she was like, oh, wait, now I see it. But
it's quite like that because we're lost in a fantasy.
And I think if I could also add another like
clue to what it feels like in the chaotic love
(44:14):
you're lost in fantasy. Often you're excusing behavior, shouldn't excuse
you're you're ignoring what you're actually feeling. You're saying, no,
that's okay, it's all right, we love each other so
much and clinging to this love story to excuse the
pain the things that aren't right.
Speaker 1 (44:32):
Yeah, totally thank you for talking about that. I was like,
I hope she's seen it.
Speaker 2 (44:36):
Yeah, But I will say Blake Love is Fashion was incredibleble.
Speaker 3 (44:40):
Extra reviews on that. I mean, I don't really mind
either way, Like I was.
Speaker 2 (44:44):
I liked it fashon cool. Yeah, I loved it. I
was like, I'm here for the heir, I'm here for
the fashion.
Speaker 1 (44:50):
So good. Yeah, love it.
Speaker 2 (44:51):
I have to ask you about this one and this
is it is written in this book, but I feel
like anyone can relate to it. And I find it
a lot with that acting stuff in LA And it's
the fear of rejection. What if I'm not good enough?
And so every time I send a self tape in America,
if you send it an audition off and it's a
self tape and you don't get it, you don't get
(45:13):
any feedback. You just hear donuts like you just hear nothing,
and then the next audition will come through and you've
completely forgotten.
Speaker 1 (45:18):
It's like a very big act of.
Speaker 2 (45:19):
Non attachment and letting go and putting your heart into
it all at the same time.
Speaker 1 (45:24):
Yeah, And most of.
Speaker 2 (45:26):
The time I'm pretty good with like yoga practice and
stuff and like these self care mechanisms.
Speaker 1 (45:31):
To be really good with the letting go.
Speaker 2 (45:33):
But sometimes I'll be like, ah, wow, that's like sixteen
rejections in a row.
Speaker 1 (45:38):
Am I good enough for this job? You know?
Speaker 2 (45:41):
Like it really makes you doubt and question yourself. So
how can we the listener deal with fear of rejection.
Speaker 3 (45:48):
Well, I want to say, firstly, it's so natural to
have that, taking it personally experience initially right like, that's
just your human self is just always going to feel
that a little like, oh, and that's okay because you
can also have this other awareness that sees through that
story and sees where it's coming from. Now, when we're children,
(46:09):
our greatest two needs more than food and water is
to be accepted and not be rejected. So this takes
us right back to being a child, Like, there will
be moments when you were a child when you were criticized,
you were yelled at for something, you did the wrong thing,
and in that moment of rejection, it's bringing you into
an emotional flashback from the past. So when we can
(46:29):
start to see that, you see, oh, that's not the
adult me right now, that's my inner child feeling this pain,
feeling this rejection. And what did she need or what
did he need to feel enough in that moment? What
could have an adult, a loving parent have said in
that moment And we can be that for ourselves. You
can close your eyes, you can see the pain, you
can be like, oh, yeah, there were times when I
(46:50):
was a kid and I didn't feel enough. What if
someone had told me, like, you're great, you're a good kid,
You're enough, And we can take this another step further.
We can see what some of those key criticisms you
received as a child. Maybe you were frequently told your selfish,
you're lazy, or that you're not prepared enough, or something
like that, and you could easily feel that as an actor, right,
(47:11):
And if you look at each of those criticisms, I
want you to see what's the positive of those qualities.
So if you're lazy, well, that actually is required for
you to be able to rest, and if we don't rest,
we're going to get burnt out. If you're selfish, well,
that's required for you to honor your own needs and
have boundaries and ask what you need.
Speaker 1 (47:30):
And there is a.
Speaker 3 (47:31):
Positive aspect to that too, we can start to neutralize it.
If you're under prepared, well, there's also a requirement for
some efficiency. We can't just get lost in constantly preparing, preparing, preparing.
It's like you get and can get lost in collecting
degrees or studying another qualification. At some point, we just
want to take action so that part of you that
might take action unprepared.
Speaker 1 (47:53):
There's a positive to that too, we can neutralize it.
It's so healing. So there's a practice in the book
to go through all that. I love it. I love it.
Speaker 2 (48:00):
That's such a great idea and it takes the power
out of it straight away.
Speaker 1 (48:05):
All right, Master.
Speaker 2 (48:06):
Relationship Anxiety is officially out now, and you the listener
can read this ripper of a book and I'll put
all the details in the show notes.
Speaker 1 (48:16):
Thank you for jumping on the pod, Georgie, my pleasure.
It's been so much fun. What's your goal with this book?
What do you hope it does? I want it to.
Speaker 3 (48:26):
Get out there further than my first book, if possible,
and I'm.
Speaker 1 (48:29):
Letting go Oprah knock on Oprah's well.
Speaker 3 (48:32):
I set the intention of just a very open one
of I want it to blow my mind with what's
possible because the first one did so now I'm okay
with it being different.
Speaker 1 (48:40):
But let's just see. Ah.
Speaker 2 (48:42):
Well, mate, I'm so excited for you, and I can't
wait for people launch tonight and I'm wanted.
Speaker 1 (48:46):
To be seeing it. Yeah, I can't wait too, Thanks Lola.
Thanks mate.
Speaker 2 (48:53):
That's a wrap on another episode of fearlessly failing as always.
Thank you, Thank you to our guests, and let's continue
the conversation on Instagram.
Speaker 1 (49:04):
I'm at Yamo Lollerberry. This potty my work for podcast
is available on all streaming platforms.
Speaker 2 (49:13):
I'd love it if you could subscribe, rate and comment
and of course spread the love.
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