Fueling Flow Through Feedback: The Leader’s Guide to Courageous Communication

How Does Your Team Receive Feedback? 

Learn the Secrets to Giving Feedback Drives Flow & Team Success

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• The Power of Letting Go: How Phil Jackson’s “Zen” approach taught Kobe Bryant that true greatness is about making others shine, not just personal achievement.
• Mastering Feedback for Team Flow: The common mistakes leaders make with feedback and how you can shift from critique to guiding growth with feedforward.
• Creating a Culture of Collaboration: Actionable steps to foster a feedback-rich, psychologically safe environment where your team thrives together.

Tune in to learn how courageous communication and thoughtful feedback can unlock your team’s full potential and drive high performance!

Send Dr. Dave a text. Let him know what you thought of this episode.

Unlock Your Business's Full Potential: Enroll Now in Dr. Dave's free Flow-Driven Business Blueprint Course!

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
When Kobe Bryant walked off the court that night,
he had scored 40 points.
The crowd roared, their cheersstill echoing in his ears as the
final buzzer sounded.
By all accounts, it looked likeKobe had single-handedly
carried the team to yet anothervictory.
But as the locker room doorswung shut behind him and the

(00:23):
adrenaline began to fade, kobefound himself alone with his
thoughts cooling down in thequiet hum of post-game
exhaustion.
That's when Phil Jackson, thecoach with a calm that could
quiet a storm, approached himsilently.
Phil had been there before manytimes before.

(00:43):
After years of coaching theChicago Bulls, he had learned a
secret True greatness wasn'tbuilt on solo performances or
stat sheets.
Michael Jordan had to learn it,and now it was Kobe's turn.
Kobe's fire was unmistakable.
His intensity on the court wasunmatched, a relentless force

(01:05):
that pushed him to outworkeveryone in sight.
But Phil knew something thatKobe didn't yet understand
Sometimes effort and controlweren't the key to victory.
Sometimes letting go was.
Phil sat down next to Kobe, hispresence as steady and
unshakable as a mountain.
He didn't raise his voice.

(01:27):
In fact it was barely more thana whisper.
What's missing out there?
Kobe, still riding the high ofhis performance, blinked in
surprise, missing.
He leaned forward, slightfurrow, creasing his brow.
I scored 40 points, he said, asif that was all that needed to
be said.
Phil nodded, slowly, taking itin, never rushing.

(01:51):
You did, but it's not about you, kobe.
His words landed softly, buttheir weight sank deep.
There are four other guys outthere.
You're great, but if you wantto be unstoppable, you have to
make them great too.
For a moment, silence stretchedbetween them.
Kobe leaned back, staring intothe distance, replaying that

(02:16):
game in his mind.
Phil's words lingered,challenging him to see beyond
the box.
Score.
This wasn't just about points.
It was about potential, not his, but the team's.
That's when the realization hit.
Kobe has always prided himselfin outworking everyone and
carrying the load, but Philwasn't talking about the effort.

(02:40):
He was talking about a shift infocus.
Winning wasn't about individualbrilliance.
It was about creating space forthe team to shine.
Phil's feedback wasn't acritique.
It was an invitation for Kobeto step into a new role, the
same invitation he had extendedto Jordan years before.

(03:00):
Kobe didn't need to carry theteam.
He needed to elevate them all.
Phil's Zen approach wasn't justa coaching style.
It was a philosophy, a way ofseeing the game, a way of seeing
life through a different lens.
Kobe was focused on controllingevery moment, while Phil

(03:21):
believed in the power of lettinggo, entrusting the team to rise
to the occasion.
That shift, that moment ofclarity, didn't just change Kobe
.
It transformed the Lakers intoan unstoppable force.
Phil had seen it before.
He had watched Jordan reachthis crossroads the moment when

(03:41):
the star player steps back justenough to let the team find its
rhythm.
That's when championships arewon.
Kobe realized that Phil'sfeedback wasn't about pulling
back.
It was about pushing his teamforward, and when he did, the
Lakers didn't just win moregames, they found their flow
together.

(04:02):
So, as a leader, how do you givefeedback that doesn't tweak
performance but transforms yourteam into something greater than
the sum of its parts?
Let's find out.
Hey there, welcome to FlowDriven Performance, the podcast
that transforms visionaryentrepreneurs into more flow
CEOs with highperformanceworkplaces.

(04:25):
I'm your host and coach, drDave Maloli, and I believe that
entrepreneurs are athletes andtheir business is the field of
play.
Each day is a game that they'reprepared to win or they're not.
Disregard this and you'reheaded for trouble.
As a business owner for 15 yearsand a business coach for seven,

(04:45):
I've seen the dramatic impactwhen leaders apply this concept.
We spend so much of our livesat work and high performance is
our duty as business owners,because life's too short to
allow team dysfunction into ourorganizations.
I dream of a world wherebusinesses routinely adopt flow

(05:07):
as one of their core values.
Now, flow-driven performance issupported by four pillars.
First, we have mentaloptimization.
Next, we have floworchestration.
Third is courageouscommunication and finally we
have team transformation.
Today, we'll be focusing oncourageous communication and
finally, we have teamtransformation.
Today, we'll be focusing oncourageous communication.

(05:29):
Before we get rolling here, I'dlike to send some gratitude to
Hawk DDS.
He left a five-star review onApple Podcasts.
It says excellent podcast.
I've been listening to Dr Davefor many years.
His insight and coaching forsmall business owners is
invaluable, extremely relevantin today's world.
Thank you so much for that.

(05:55):
Now, before we dive into thetactics of giving great feedback
, first let's address whyfeedback can be somewhat
challenging for both the giverand the receiver.
Sheila Heen is the co-author ofa book called Thanks for the
Feedback, and she sums it upreally well.
Receiving feedback sits at theintersection of two needs the

(06:17):
need to learn and grow and theneed to be accepted just as we
are.
Feedback by its nature suggeststhe need for change, which can
feel threatening.
We all want to improve, but atthe same time, we want to feel
valued and accepted, as we arewhen we give feedback.
As leaders, we want to beeffective right.

(06:37):
We want it to land well,without making the other person
feel attacked or defensive.
This emotional tension can makefeedback difficult.
Have you noticed how some ofyour people become defensive
when receiving feedback?
Or, as a leader, you mighthesitate a bit to give it,

(06:59):
worried that it won't be wellreceived.
But here's the thing whenfeedback is done right, it
doesn't shut people down.
It opens them up.
It shifts the focus from whatwent wrong to what could go
right.
Feedback, when deliveredthoughtfully, isn't about
criticism.
It's about guiding growth andunlocking potential.

(07:22):
So let's look closely at whyfeedback sometimes falls flat.
Let's talk about the commonmistakes that leaders make when
giving feedback.
The first would be vaguefeedback.
You've heard it before Good job, you need to work on this.
It's all well-intentioned, butit's vague.

(07:44):
The problem is that peopledon't know what specifically to
change or repeat.
Here's how you fix it.
You get specific Instead of youneed to communicate better, say
, in our last meeting, I noticedyou didn't follow up with the
client.
Let's make sure that thathappens next time.

(08:04):
The second common mistake isdelayed feedback.
Timing is really everything.
When feedback comes in too late, it loses its impact.
The moment for improvement orrecognition has kind of passed.
So how do you fix that?
Give feedback in real time oras close to the event as
possible.
That way the learning is freshand the employee can act on it

(08:28):
immediately.
Third mistake is one-wayfeedback.
Sometimes leaders treatfeedback like a lecture, when it
could be and should be aconversation.
When feedback is a monologue,the recipient feels talked at,
not discussed with.
How do you fix that?
Well, you make it a dialogue.

(08:49):
Ask what do you think went wellor how can we improve next time
.
This invites participation andfosters growth.
By avoiding these pitfalls, youcan make feedback less
intimidating and more impactful.
Now let's look at a differentway to approach feedback,

(09:10):
something called Feed Forward,developed by renowned leadership
coach, marshall Goldsmith.
Feed Forward developed byrenowned leadership coach
Marshall Goldsmith.
For those of you who don't knowMarshall, he's one of the
world's leading executivecoaches and he's a great author.
He's worked with top CEOs andleaders around the globe,

(09:34):
helping them achieve positiveand lasting change in behavior
for themselves and their team.
Goldsmith introduced theconcept of feed forward as an
alternative to the traditionalfeedback.
Unlike feedback, which oftendwells on past performance and
what went wrong, feed forward isall about looking ahead.
It's focused on futurepossibilities and opportunities
for growth.
Here's how it works.

(09:54):
Instead of saying you missedthe mark on that last
presentation, you might say nexttime, try focusing on fewer key
points and use more visuals toengage your audience.
The emphasis is on what theycan do going forward to succeed,
not on critiquing past mistakes.
Feed Forward minimizes thedefensiveness because it's

(10:17):
future-focused andsolution-oriented.
It empowers the personreceiving the guidance to
improve without the emotionalweight of past errors.
This approach can transform theway communication is given and
received, fostering a morepositive and proactive culture.
Implementing Feed Forward inyour team can encourage
continuous improvement andinnovation.

(10:39):
It shifts the mindset fromfixating on what's wrong to
exploring what is possible, Justlike Phil Jackson did with Kobe
, opening the door to greaterpotential for the team.
It's important to recognize thatfeedback isn't just about
individual performance.
It's about seek feedback and togive it openly.
This cultural shift transformedMicrosoft into a more agile and

(11:22):
innovative company by fosteringan environment where feedback
was not only accepted butencouraged.
Nadella broke down the silosand sparked more collaboration,
sparked more collaboration.
The company became moreresponsive to market changes and
customer needs, leading togroundbreaking products and

(11:43):
services.
Another great example would beat Netflix, which promotes a
culture of radical candor.
Employees are encouraged togive and receive feedback
candidly and respectfully,regardless of where they are in
the hierarchy.
Candidly and respectfully,regardless of where they are in
the hierarchy.
This openness has been creditedwith helping Netflix stay ahead
of a highly competitivestreaming industry.

(12:04):
The takeaway here is, whenfeedback is embedded in the
culture, it's going to improveindividual performance, but it
also will drive the entireorganization forward with
improved teamwork.
Will drive the entireorganization forward with
improved teamwork.
So how can you create afeedback-rich culture where
feedback is welcomed and notfeared?
One normalize peer-to-peerfeedback.

(12:26):
Feedback shouldn't just comefrom the top down.
Encourage team members to givefeedback to one another.
This builds trust,accountability and fosters a
sense of shared responsibilityfor the team's success.
Two create psychological safety.
Your people need to feel safeto speak up and share feedback
without fear of retribution.

(12:47):
Make it clear that feedback isabout growth, not punishment.
As Daniel Coyle says in hisbook the Culture Code,
psychological safety is thefoundation of high-performing
teams.
Three tie feedback to a purpose.
When feedback is connected to alarger mission or purpose, it
has more meaning.
Show your team how theirindividual improvement

(13:10):
contributes to the biggerpicture.
This gives feedback context andreinforces its importance.
And finally, lead by example asa leader model, the behavior
you want to see.
Be open to receiving feedbackyourself.
When your team sees you asembracing feedback, it sets the
tone for everyone else.

(13:31):
In the end, feedback is morethan a performance tool.
It's a pathway to growth andtransformation.
Just like Phil Jackson'sguidance helped Kobe Bryant see
beyond his individualperformance, your feedback can
unlock and elevate your entireteam.
Ask yourself am I helping thisperson become their best?

(13:56):
Am I focused on futurepossibilities rather than past
mistakes?
Am I creating an environmentwhere they feel safe to grow?
Remember that feedback is thekey to unlocking flow,
performance and potential.
Thank you for joining today'sepisode of Flow Driven
Performance.
If you found this discussionvaluable, I ask you to pay a

(14:19):
small fee.
Please subscribe and leave afive-star review so that this
show continues its rapid growthUntil next time.
This is Dr Dave, challengingyou to stay focused and flow
driven.