January 29, 2025 • 17 mins
In this episode, we discuss the necessity of discomfort in our lives and how it leads to growth, resilience, and a deeper understanding of ourselves. We share personal stories of overcoming struggles, particularly around infertility, and connect those experiences to broader themes of patience and the lessons learned through enduring challenges.
• Exploration of discomfort as a natural part of life
• Personal narrative on the struggles of infertility
• The importance of patience in personal and professional challenges
• Cooking as a metaphor for life's challenges
• Discussion on the value of slow living and perseverance
• Reflection on how difficult experiences build character
• Encouragement to embrace discomfort for personal growth
• Closing thoughts on the journey being as vital as the outcome
Hypnotherapy coaching sessions can help if you are struggling with anxiety. Please email us at englishsisters@gmail.com if you would like help with an issue, mentioning this episode of our podcast for a special discounted rate. We work with clients worldwide over Zoom. Buy our BookStress Free in Three Minutes available on Amazon and Kindle, to help support our work. Thank you!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Being uncomfortable.
Yeah, I think we're alwaystrying to avoid discomfort,
aren't we?
We always try and seek comfort,seek, not seek change.
Most of us, yeah, we look forthe familiar so that we don't
have to go through those momentsof discomfort, which is normal
also.
Well, it's a protectionmechanism, isn't it?
(00:21):
But it can be.
Sometimes, through the greatestdiscomfort come the greatest
like benefits and the greatestsurprises in life and the
greatest moments of growth thatwe all have to.
You know, we're growing everyday, so we have to learn how to
almost embrace those moments ofdiscomfort that are inevitable
(00:45):
in all of our lives.
Anyway, they are.
So that's what we're going tobe talking about in this week's
episode of get real with theenglish sisters.
Thank you for joining us.
Please remember to subscribe onyoutube and come and follow us
wherever you get your podcasts,because we truly appreciate you
all listening so much.
(01:06):
Thank you very much.
I mean the greatest discomfort.
I mean I'm just thinking of youhow much discomfort you had to
go through to get your boys.
Oh, my goodness, me definitely.
There was a lot of discomfortthere, physical, mental, so much
, with all the oh, so much worry.
That was awful.
Yeah, if I think I mean awful.
(01:27):
It was a real moment of growththough as well.
Yeah, but it was a lot ofsuffering.
There was a lot of physicaldiscomfort because it was
painful.
I mean mental discomfort, Ithink it probably.
You had this infertility.
Yes, for those of you thatdon't know, yeah, definitely had
a long infertility journey.
For those of you that don'tknow, yeah, definitely had a
long infertility had we wentthrough four rounds of IVF, me
(01:49):
and my husband.
Yeah, three miscarriages.
All this long journey until Ifinally got my first son and
then the second little qg, pi,came along easily and naturally,
and it's like what all the youknow, the elderly people were
saying oh, it's just becauseyou're stressed.
(02:09):
And I was so annoyed about thatbecause I thought, you know,
physically there was actually Iwas okay because I was still
really young and everything Iwas.
I mean, I was only 26, 25 whenI actually started this, this
journey, but my husband had likeissues with um, varicose veins
and things, and he had like alow, low count and so which was
(02:35):
a big surprise, because at firstthey didn't even test the male
because it was back in the day,wasn't it?
It was quite a while ago.
And then one doctor In Italy.
In Italy, yeah, one doctor said, oh, let's do the check.
You know, the sperm check.
That's what it was, yeah, andhe said oh, it's actually low
motility.
Oh, wow, yeah, that was a bit.
(02:56):
I mean, he was fine about it.
It's not like he was really oneof these old fashioned no, no,
no, he was perfectly supportive,he was a perfect sweetheart.
Yeah, he did every singlepossible thing we had to do.
Rushing around with all theselittle oh my gosh.
Yeah, it was a long journey.
Any of you are going through it.
I can appreciate what you'regoing through.
It was so worth it, wasn't it?
(03:16):
It was definitely.
And he used to say even ifnothing comes of it, I'll know I
will have tried my best.
Yes, I'll know I will havetried my best.
Yes, for me it was like I'mgoing to do everything possible
because I really wanted tobecome a mum, and yeah, it was
really.
It was something that I justsort of felt I really wanted to
do, and so I just knew I woulddo everything possible.
(03:36):
But then, when I thought I can't, this is my last try, when it
was actually our last, last try,we tried this method called
gift, which I thought was quitesymbolic.
It's like a gift, you know, andI think that's when you put the
two, you know, the sperm andthe egg, inside the fallopian
(03:57):
tube, first of all they're inthe test tube and then they're
both inserted into the fallopiantube.
You know, that was it.
Yeah, I can't actually rememberthe technical term because we
are talking about almost 30years ago, but anyway, and it
was in Italy, they used to haveItalian.
Yeah, that's why I'm getting abit confused, but I remember it
was called gift and um, yeah,and what was I saying?
(04:20):
It was a gift.
Yeah, and that actually workedand you know, and I got my first
son through that.
But while I was doing that, Iwas doing all the papers for
adoption as well At the sametime.
We were going through all thatprocess because I thought, you
know either one or the other,and then I also wanted to adopt
(04:45):
and that also fell through,because we did get a famous
phone call in the middle of thenight saying that we had a baby
and we had to go and, and andand do all the papers for that
and everything, and then thatfell through as well.
That was very unlucky, all atthe same time.
So I mean there was a lot ofdiscomfort.
There's a lot of growth thatcame from it as well as a couple
, as a human being.
(05:05):
You know it was a massivejourney that I think, if I'd
look back, I would have saidcould I sign not to go through
it?
I probably wouldn't want anyoneto go through that.
You would have signed not to go, definitely.
So I think anyone would signnot to go through these things.
I don't think you choose to dothat.
No, you don't choose.
It's just.
It's just what life gives youat the time, or an alternative
(05:29):
of saying, okay, I'm just notgoing to have children.
Then it can bring on a Unlessyou decide that you don't want
them.
Obviously, there were loads ofcouples that were going through.
Yeah, and if you're calm withit and happy and you've made a
good choice.
But if you're going to resent,if your future self is going to
look back and say I wish I hadgone through that discomfort, I
(05:50):
wish I had made the effort, whenit's too late, it's a shame,
isn't it?
It is a shame, yeah, obviously,you know it's.
There are choices.
There are choices, sometimeseconomical choices as well.
I mean it's, it's hard, it'svery, very hard.
So I can appreciate any of you.
I think that it it's like thatwith anything in life that's
(06:13):
there's challenging or there's adiscomfort element to it.
Yeah, you know, like even ifyou think when you're, if you're
studying for something rightnow, yeah, you know you go
through.
You go through suchdifficulties.
Or, like my daughter, she's ascientist and she was telling me
in in science how much uhhardship there is because first
(06:38):
of all, to get the funding andthen afterwards because a lot of
the experiments they don't gowell and you can feel as a
scientist that you've wastedfour years of your life or
whatever trying to get resultsand you don't get any results
that are positive.
But she said she wouldn'tchange a thing in the end
(06:59):
because that's what she lovesdoing and she wants to make a
difference and she just goes forit and tries to make the
difference as she can.
It's, it's going.
When it's so hard, yeah, and alot of times you know what
what's involved is really slowand long, and we've spoken about
infertility, which is reallyslow and long, and sometimes you
(07:21):
have to wait for another threeor four months before you can
try again and everything is like.
But it's that kind of patiencethat's required as well.
That's that teaches you certainthings about you know, it
teaches you so much.
It teaches you a lot.
Yeah, there's a lot abouthaving patience, having to, um,
(07:46):
persevere, having.
It's a bit like, you know, likethe cast iron pan.
Yes, I just bought a cup,because your son very kindly,
he's crazy the other son, yeah,your other son a cast iron pan,
and it was on offer.
So I thought, okay, I should begetting a cast iron pan.
And it was on offer.
So I thought, okay, I should begetting a cast iron pan myself.
(08:06):
So I bought one for our house.
Oh, yeah, first I was thinkingit's heavy.
Then I don't, don't be such,don't be such a weakling.
I said to myself you can liftweights, you're going to be able
to lift a cast iron.
We've become so like, um, wemade our life so easy in our
kitchens with the dishwasher,with all this like food brought
(08:27):
to our houses or thisself-prepared yeah, everything's
so easy.
So, having this heavy cast ironpan that you burn your hand on
if you touch, yeah, you have tobe.
I mean, I put it in the kitchenbehind the stove and just
stared at it and oiled it.
Then I read all theinstructions and it sounded like
(08:48):
you know, like this impossiblein diva.
You have to cook it in the oven, to season it with oil and then
you have to take it out.
You're not allowed to soak it,which is your son?
No, he said yeah, he soaks itall the time.
So now it seems easier, nowthat I've talked to your son.
No, he said yeah, he soaks itall the time.
But so so now it seems easier,now that I've talked to your son
about it.
But before I was thinking I'mgoing to give this a chance.
(09:10):
It's going to live here for oneweek or two and then, if it's
too much bother, it's going tobe passed on to your son.
I thought I can have two, butthen I thought why I go?
Why have we become like so likeeverything's so like everything
.
If it's not easy, it's notworth it, it's like difficult.
(09:31):
I mean, everything is so easy.
Now you go online, you can buyeverything.
I am a bit like that.
For example, like for Christmas, my son again, who loves
cooking, he was making the um,the beef and and Guininness pie.
I mean that when I saw and thechicken and leek pie the
traditional english ones areactually super delicious and you
(09:52):
have to make the shortbread um,and they were absolutely
amazing.
They're amazing.
But when I saw that he startedcooking at nine o'clock in the
morning and he like finished at7 pm and I was looking at the
state the kitchen was in becausehe still lives at home, you
know, so it's my home kitchen,but soon he'll be moving with
(10:13):
his lovely girlfriend, butanyway, yeah, they're still at
home and I was thinking, gosh, Ijust don't have the patience
for this.
No, I mean so I think eachperson has to put the amount of
patience they have into aproject or something that they
really want to do, so we don'tall have to have patience for
one certain like.
(10:34):
I don't think I've got patienceto cook like that for nine
hours.
Well, you're not passionateabout it, are you?
So you can become passionate,because I didn't think I could
learn about this pan.
And then I remember mum used tohave one as well, cast iron one
.
Yes, she was always scrubbingand it would.
The rust would come on it ifyou didn't look after it.
You have to look.
And then I was thinking howrust has got iron in it or
(10:57):
something I know, but there'sbenefits to this and well, the
cast iron pan actually gives offiron.
I'm actually annoyed about thefact that the other pans that we
bought have lasted like a yearand then they go into landfill.
It's disgusting.
It is disgusting.
And the teflon pans, yeah,apparently they're not.
I've just I'm a bit sick of allof this.
(11:18):
Yeah, me too.
I will change now.
I mean gradually, but we don'thave to do it all straight away.
It's been in the kitchen for aweek.
Yes, I cooked chicken on it.
It got stuck.
Now I have to do what your sonsaid you have to season it with
a seed oil.
I'm going to season it with aseed oil, put it in the oven and
then look after it, make itnice and shiny and black, yeah,
(11:45):
and then see how it comes outand it'll probably be delicious.
It may not be delicious thefirst time, no, but it's like
everything.
I mean, even when you get yourfirst love, it's not always easy
.
Is it the first intimate?
You know?
Relations you have with your ohno, your loved ones aren't easy
.
No, they're not.
They're not.
Everything is hard at first.
Most things, most things arehard.
You have to actually learn howto do them or they're difficult
(12:07):
and you have to go.
You know, you have to gothrough the process.
You have to go through thatdiscomfort.
It's a cast iron pan.
It's really heavy.
You have to wash and scrub it.
You have to learn how to dothings with patience.
Well, yes, are you joking?
It's like riding a bike.
You don't just get on it and gooff.
(12:28):
You fall down, don't you?
The other day I watched a cutelittle video about rats that
were no, but they were.
They were.
The scientists had them intheir lab and they gave them
little cars to drive in.
Oh, I think I've seen that onewith With the little pedals.
They had two, so they were likeautomatic little vehicles and
it was an actual scientificexperiment.
(12:50):
But obviously they were treatedvery nicely and everything.
There's very strict controls onit and they would actually
choose to drive the car to gettheir treat rather than just
walk over and get it.
They would go a longer route orroute to go in the car because
(13:10):
they actually enjoyed it.
And then they measured theirserotonin levels and everything
and they got dopamine andserotonin from driving.
But what would the little pawslike?
They were like little squarevehicles that they would hop
into and they had like twolittle paw things that they
would press and they would enjoythat more than walking.
They would choose that to getthe treat because they knew that
(13:32):
in the end Was it faster?
No, it took longer.
Oh, wow, that's quitesurprising.
So I mean, if it takes longerfor rats to get to their treat
because they choose to drive,maybe it's a lesson for us as
well.
How long you know the thingsthat take longer, the slow
cooking, the things that take,like the chicken broth that take
hours to make.
(13:52):
I've already got the chickenbroth on, I mean, because we're
here in the studio at home today.
At home, I've got the kitchenover there, we've got the slow
cooker now where you make it.
Yeah, that's true, and then youcan leave the house for that,
you don't have to be there.
But I think there is lessons tobe learned in the patience and
the longer, and I think we dobecome very impatient now
(14:16):
because everything is so.
That's what my son was sayingMum, why do you care whether it
takes eight hours?
You just leave it on really lowand you go off.
Yeah, but I'm always scaredit's a fire.
No, you have to be in the house.
Obviously I know in the house,but yeah, I'm not like yeah, but
I'll put.
I mean like now you have to goand check on it, check it every
(14:36):
now and again.
Yeah, I feel that way too, butanyway, anyway, this is about
cooking, but there are otherthings.
Our auntie in Spain when I wentto live there for a bit when I
was a student, I went to livewith our auntie in Spain and she
, she would put on her garbanzos, which like the chickpeas in
the morning, then she'd put themon a low flame and then she'd
go off to the market.
(14:57):
We'd go together to the marketand buy all her stuff in the
veggies and things, and thencome back and she would just
leave it on.
I used to say, isn't thatdangerous, Auntie?
And she'd say, no, it's fine.
Well, I think it's a little bitdangerous because some of the
water or the soup can fall outand the flame will turn off.
But then I think gas still leaks.
(15:18):
I don't think it does leak.
I think the cookers have somekind of a system.
The new gas still leaks.
I don't think it does leak.
I think the cookers have somekind of.
The new cookers do, but she,hers didn't, so hers was
slightly dodgy.
Yeah, the risks, but they usedto think, no, I have to have
this is what we do, thathousewives in those days.
Yeah, that is true, that's whatI mean.
Now they have induction topsand things that just turn off if
(15:38):
there's nothing on them anyway,so they're not dangerous.
No, but this is just to say that, yes, I mean, we've come.
We've come far, haven't we?
And perhaps some of the thingsthat we used to do were slower
before and it's time to go backto them.
I think so a little bit.
Yeah, I mean not saying we wantto go back and washing in the
(15:59):
river, no, like you know, it'snice.
Or hand washing I like mydishwasher, yes, or hand washing
, but sometimes you have to likethat.
But this cast iron pan, youcan't wash it by, you can't wash
it in the dishwasher, it's notallowed.
So that's going to be a littlechallenge for you.
You have to wash it by hand.
My husband to wash that, yeah,good idea.
It also brings in.
(16:21):
I do enjoy, enjoy, mind you.
I did enjoy putting the oil onit and seeing it all nice and
shiny.
Shiny and black.
Yeah, yeah, that is a nice part.
Anyway, let us know what youthink.
Have you had things that havemaybe been very difficult but
worth the effort in the end, andmaybe it's time for all of us
(16:44):
to go back to a slower way ofliving where we enjoy things and
we have a little bit morepatience for things?
Yes, definitely.
Maybe not such instantgratification, instant rewards,
yeah, and remember, if you aregoing through a period of
discomfort, know that all thisis super valuable feedback for
you, for your life and for thelives of other people that
you've got.
You know, this is, this isreally, really is what's making
(17:07):
you, it's, it's, you know, yourbuilding, it's building, it's
all these building blocks thatgo and and you think I don't
want these building blocks, Idon't, I'd rather not have them.
Yes, I can understand that,understand that, but in the end
it makes you stronger.
It does make you stronger.
They're really important foryou and they will change who you
(17:28):
are.
And if you appreciate them,appreciate the process.
I know it's difficult, but Well, sending you lots of love and
smiles from the English sisters.
Bye, bye-bye, bye-bye.
Being uncomfortable.
Yeah, I think we're alwaystrying to avoid discomfort,
aren't we?
We always try and seek comfort,seek, not seek change.
Most of us, yeah, we look forthe familiar so that we don't
have to go through those momentsof discomfort, which is normal
also.
Well, it's a protectionmechanism, isn't it?
(00:21):
But it can be.
Sometimes, through the greatestdiscomfort come the greatest
like benefits and the greatestsurprises in life and the
greatest moments of growth thatwe all have to.
You know, we're growing everyday, so we have to learn how to
almost embrace those moments ofdiscomfort that are inevitable
(00:45):
in all of our lives.
Anyway, they are.
So that's what we're going tobe talking about in this week's
episode of get real with theenglish sisters.
Thank you for joining us.
Please remember to subscribe onyoutube and come and follow us
wherever you get your podcasts,because we truly appreciate you
all listening so much.
(01:06):
Thank you very much.
I mean the greatest discomfort.
I mean I'm just thinking of youhow much discomfort you had to
go through to get your boys.
Oh, my goodness, me definitely.
There was a lot of discomfortthere, physical, mental, so much
, with all the oh, so much worry.
That was awful.
Yeah, if I think I mean awful.
(01:27):
It was a real moment of growththough as well.
Yeah, but it was a lot ofsuffering.
There was a lot of physicaldiscomfort because it was
painful.
I mean mental discomfort, Ithink it probably.
You had this infertility.
Yes, for those of you thatdon't know, yeah, definitely had
a long infertility journey.
For those of you that don'tknow, yeah, definitely had a
long infertility had we wentthrough four rounds of IVF, me
(01:49):
and my husband.
Yeah, three miscarriages.
All this long journey until Ifinally got my first son and
then the second little qg, pi,came along easily and naturally,
and it's like what all the youknow, the elderly people were
saying oh, it's just becauseyou're stressed.
(02:09):
And I was so annoyed about thatbecause I thought, you know,
physically there was actually Iwas okay because I was still
really young and everything Iwas.
I mean, I was only 26, 25 whenI actually started this, this
journey, but my husband had likeissues with um, varicose veins
and things, and he had like alow, low count and so which was
(02:35):
a big surprise, because at firstthey didn't even test the male
because it was back in the day,wasn't it?
It was quite a while ago.
And then one doctor In Italy.
In Italy, yeah, one doctor said, oh, let's do the check.
You know, the sperm check.
That's what it was, yeah, andhe said oh, it's actually low
motility.
Oh, wow, yeah, that was a bit.
(02:56):
I mean, he was fine about it.
It's not like he was really oneof these old fashioned no, no,
no, he was perfectly supportive,he was a perfect sweetheart.
Yeah, he did every singlepossible thing we had to do.
Rushing around with all theselittle oh my gosh.
Yeah, it was a long journey.
Any of you are going through it.
I can appreciate what you'regoing through.
It was so worth it, wasn't it?
(03:16):
It was definitely.
And he used to say even ifnothing comes of it, I'll know I
will have tried my best.
Yes, I'll know I will havetried my best.
Yes, for me it was like I'mgoing to do everything possible
because I really wanted tobecome a mum, and yeah, it was
really.
It was something that I justsort of felt I really wanted to
do, and so I just knew I woulddo everything possible.
(03:36):
But then, when I thought I can't, this is my last try, when it
was actually our last, last try,we tried this method called
gift, which I thought was quitesymbolic.
It's like a gift, you know, andI think that's when you put the
two, you know, the sperm andthe egg, inside the fallopian
(03:57):
tube, first of all they're inthe test tube and then they're
both inserted into the fallopiantube.
You know, that was it.
Yeah, I can't actually rememberthe technical term because we
are talking about almost 30years ago, but anyway, and it
was in Italy, they used to haveItalian.
Yeah, that's why I'm getting abit confused, but I remember it
was called gift and um, yeah,and what was I saying?
(04:20):
It was a gift.
Yeah, and that actually workedand you know, and I got my first
son through that.
But while I was doing that, Iwas doing all the papers for
adoption as well At the sametime.
We were going through all thatprocess because I thought, you
know either one or the other,and then I also wanted to adopt
(04:45):
and that also fell through,because we did get a famous
phone call in the middle of thenight saying that we had a baby
and we had to go and, and andand do all the papers for that
and everything, and then thatfell through as well.
That was very unlucky, all atthe same time.
So I mean there was a lot ofdiscomfort.
There's a lot of growth thatcame from it as well as a couple
, as a human being.
(05:05):
You know it was a massivejourney that I think, if I'd
look back, I would have saidcould I sign not to go through
it?
I probably wouldn't want anyoneto go through that.
You would have signed not to go, definitely.
So I think anyone would signnot to go through these things.
I don't think you choose to dothat.
No, you don't choose.
It's just.
It's just what life gives youat the time, or an alternative
(05:29):
of saying, okay, I'm just notgoing to have children.
Then it can bring on a Unlessyou decide that you don't want
them.
Obviously, there were loads ofcouples that were going through.
Yeah, and if you're calm withit and happy and you've made a
good choice.
But if you're going to resent,if your future self is going to
look back and say I wish I hadgone through that discomfort, I
(05:50):
wish I had made the effort, whenit's too late, it's a shame,
isn't it?
It is a shame, yeah, obviously,you know it's.
There are choices.
There are choices, sometimeseconomical choices as well.
I mean it's, it's hard, it'svery, very hard.
So I can appreciate any of you.
I think that it it's like thatwith anything in life that's
(06:13):
there's challenging or there's adiscomfort element to it.
Yeah, you know, like even ifyou think when you're, if you're
studying for something rightnow, yeah, you know you go
through.
You go through suchdifficulties.
Or, like my daughter, she's ascientist and she was telling me
in in science how much uhhardship there is because first
(06:38):
of all, to get the funding andthen afterwards because a lot of
the experiments they don't gowell and you can feel as a
scientist that you've wastedfour years of your life or
whatever trying to get resultsand you don't get any results
that are positive.
But she said she wouldn'tchange a thing in the end
(06:59):
because that's what she lovesdoing and she wants to make a
difference and she just goes forit and tries to make the
difference as she can.
It's, it's going.
When it's so hard, yeah, and alot of times you know what
what's involved is really slowand long, and we've spoken about
infertility, which is reallyslow and long, and sometimes you
(07:21):
have to wait for another threeor four months before you can
try again and everything is like.
But it's that kind of patiencethat's required as well.
That's that teaches you certainthings about you know, it
teaches you so much.
It teaches you a lot.
Yeah, there's a lot abouthaving patience, having to, um,
(07:46):
persevere, having.
It's a bit like, you know, likethe cast iron pan.
Yes, I just bought a cup,because your son very kindly,
he's crazy the other son, yeah,your other son a cast iron pan,
and it was on offer.
So I thought, okay, I should begetting a cast iron pan.
And it was on offer.
So I thought, okay, I should begetting a cast iron pan myself.
(08:06):
So I bought one for our house.
Oh, yeah, first I was thinkingit's heavy.
Then I don't, don't be such,don't be such a weakling.
I said to myself you can liftweights, you're going to be able
to lift a cast iron.
We've become so like, um, wemade our life so easy in our
kitchens with the dishwasher,with all this like food brought
(08:27):
to our houses or thisself-prepared yeah, everything's
so easy.
So, having this heavy cast ironpan that you burn your hand on
if you touch, yeah, you have tobe.
I mean, I put it in the kitchenbehind the stove and just
stared at it and oiled it.
Then I read all theinstructions and it sounded like
(08:48):
you know, like this impossiblein diva.
You have to cook it in the oven, to season it with oil and then
you have to take it out.
You're not allowed to soak it,which is your son?
No, he said yeah, he soaks itall the time.
So now it seems easier, nowthat I've talked to your son.
No, he said yeah, he soaks itall the time.
But so so now it seems easier,now that I've talked to your son
about it.
But before I was thinking I'mgoing to give this a chance.
(09:10):
It's going to live here for oneweek or two and then, if it's
too much bother, it's going tobe passed on to your son.
I thought I can have two, butthen I thought why I go?
Why have we become like so likeeverything's so like everything
.
If it's not easy, it's notworth it, it's like difficult.
(09:31):
I mean, everything is so easy.
Now you go online, you can buyeverything.
I am a bit like that.
For example, like for Christmas, my son again, who loves
cooking, he was making the um,the beef and and Guininness pie.
I mean that when I saw and thechicken and leek pie the
traditional english ones areactually super delicious and you
(09:52):
have to make the shortbread um,and they were absolutely
amazing.
They're amazing.
But when I saw that he startedcooking at nine o'clock in the
morning and he like finished at7 pm and I was looking at the
state the kitchen was in becausehe still lives at home, you
know, so it's my home kitchen,but soon he'll be moving with
(10:13):
his lovely girlfriend, butanyway, yeah, they're still at
home and I was thinking, gosh, Ijust don't have the patience
for this.
No, I mean so I think eachperson has to put the amount of
patience they have into aproject or something that they
really want to do, so we don'tall have to have patience for
one certain like.
(10:34):
I don't think I've got patienceto cook like that for nine
hours.
Well, you're not passionateabout it, are you?
So you can become passionate,because I didn't think I could
learn about this pan.
And then I remember mum used tohave one as well, cast iron one
.
Yes, she was always scrubbingand it would.
The rust would come on it ifyou didn't look after it.
You have to look.
And then I was thinking howrust has got iron in it or
(10:57):
something I know, but there'sbenefits to this and well, the
cast iron pan actually gives offiron.
I'm actually annoyed about thefact that the other pans that we
bought have lasted like a yearand then they go into landfill.
It's disgusting.
It is disgusting.
And the teflon pans, yeah,apparently they're not.
I've just I'm a bit sick of allof this.
(11:18):
Yeah, me too.
I will change now.
I mean gradually, but we don'thave to do it all straight away.
It's been in the kitchen for aweek.
Yes, I cooked chicken on it.
It got stuck.
Now I have to do what your sonsaid you have to season it with
a seed oil.
I'm going to season it with aseed oil, put it in the oven and
then look after it, make itnice and shiny and black, yeah,
(11:45):
and then see how it comes outand it'll probably be delicious.
It may not be delicious thefirst time, no, but it's like
everything.
I mean, even when you get yourfirst love, it's not always easy
.
Is it the first intimate?
You know?
Relations you have with your ohno, your loved ones aren't easy
.
No, they're not.
They're not.
Everything is hard at first.
Most things, most things arehard.
You have to actually learn howto do them or they're difficult
(12:07):
and you have to go.
You know, you have to gothrough the process.
You have to go through thatdiscomfort.
It's a cast iron pan.
It's really heavy.
You have to wash and scrub it.
You have to learn how to dothings with patience.
Well, yes, are you joking?
It's like riding a bike.
You don't just get on it and gooff.
(12:28):
You fall down, don't you?
The other day I watched a cutelittle video about rats that
were no, but they were.
They were.
The scientists had them intheir lab and they gave them
little cars to drive in.
Oh, I think I've seen that onewith With the little pedals.
They had two, so they were likeautomatic little vehicles and
it was an actual scientificexperiment.
(12:50):
But obviously they were treatedvery nicely and everything.
There's very strict controls onit and they would actually
choose to drive the car to gettheir treat rather than just
walk over and get it.
They would go a longer route orroute to go in the car because
(13:10):
they actually enjoyed it.
And then they measured theirserotonin levels and everything
and they got dopamine andserotonin from driving.
But what would the little pawslike?
They were like little squarevehicles that they would hop
into and they had like twolittle paw things that they
would press and they would enjoythat more than walking.
They would choose that to getthe treat because they knew that
(13:32):
in the end Was it faster?
No, it took longer.
Oh, wow, that's quitesurprising.
So I mean, if it takes longerfor rats to get to their treat
because they choose to drive,maybe it's a lesson for us as
well.
How long you know the thingsthat take longer, the slow
cooking, the things that take,like the chicken broth that take
hours to make.
(13:52):
I've already got the chickenbroth on, I mean, because we're
here in the studio at home today.
At home, I've got the kitchenover there, we've got the slow
cooker now where you make it.
Yeah, that's true, and then youcan leave the house for that,
you don't have to be there.
But I think there is lessons tobe learned in the patience and
the longer, and I think we dobecome very impatient now
(14:16):
because everything is so.
That's what my son was sayingMum, why do you care whether it
takes eight hours?
You just leave it on really lowand you go off.
Yeah, but I'm always scaredit's a fire.
No, you have to be in the house.
Obviously I know in the house,but yeah, I'm not like yeah, but
I'll put.
I mean like now you have to goand check on it, check it every
(14:36):
now and again.
Yeah, I feel that way too, butanyway, anyway, this is about
cooking, but there are otherthings.
Our auntie in Spain when I wentto live there for a bit when I
was a student, I went to livewith our auntie in Spain and she
, she would put on her garbanzos, which like the chickpeas in
the morning, then she'd put themon a low flame and then she'd
go off to the market.
(14:57):
We'd go together to the marketand buy all her stuff in the
veggies and things, and thencome back and she would just
leave it on.
I used to say, isn't thatdangerous, Auntie?
And she'd say, no, it's fine.
Well, I think it's a little bitdangerous because some of the
water or the soup can fall outand the flame will turn off.
But then I think gas still leaks.
(15:18):
I don't think it does leak.
I think the cookers have somekind of a system.
The new gas still leaks.
I don't think it does leak.
I think the cookers have somekind of.
The new cookers do, but she,hers didn't, so hers was
slightly dodgy.
Yeah, the risks, but they usedto think, no, I have to have
this is what we do, thathousewives in those days.
Yeah, that is true, that's whatI mean.
Now they have induction topsand things that just turn off if
(15:38):
there's nothing on them anyway,so they're not dangerous.
No, but this is just to say that, yes, I mean, we've come.
We've come far, haven't we?
And perhaps some of the thingsthat we used to do were slower
before and it's time to go backto them.
I think so a little bit.
Yeah, I mean not saying we wantto go back and washing in the
(15:59):
river, no, like you know, it'snice.
Or hand washing I like mydishwasher, yes, or hand washing
, but sometimes you have to likethat.
But this cast iron pan, youcan't wash it by, you can't wash
it in the dishwasher, it's notallowed.
So that's going to be a littlechallenge for you.
You have to wash it by hand.
My husband to wash that, yeah,good idea.
It also brings in.
(16:21):
I do enjoy, enjoy, mind you.
I did enjoy putting the oil onit and seeing it all nice and
shiny.
Shiny and black.
Yeah, yeah, that is a nice part.
Anyway, let us know what youthink.
Have you had things that havemaybe been very difficult but
worth the effort in the end, andmaybe it's time for all of us
(16:44):
to go back to a slower way ofliving where we enjoy things and
we have a little bit morepatience for things?
Yes, definitely.
Maybe not such instantgratification, instant rewards,
yeah, and remember, if you aregoing through a period of
discomfort, know that all thisis super valuable feedback for
you, for your life and for thelives of other people that
you've got.
You know, this is, this isreally, really is what's making
(17:07):
you, it's, it's, you know, yourbuilding, it's building, it's
all these building blocks thatgo and and you think I don't
want these building blocks, Idon't, I'd rather not have them.
Yes, I can understand that,understand that, but in the end
it makes you stronger.
It does make you stronger.
They're really important foryou and they will change who you
(17:28):
are.
And if you appreciate them,appreciate the process.
I know it's difficult, but Well, sending you lots of love and
smiles from the English sisters.
Bye, bye-bye, bye-bye.
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