December 11, 2024 • 19 mins
Have you ever felt torn between the excitement of holiday gatherings and the comfort of a quiet night in? We unravel this common festive season dilemma, exploring how social obligations can sometimes clash with our need for self-care. Whether you're energizing your soul with a glittering party or finding peace in solitude, we offer insights on navigating these choices with grace. From managing work parties to establishing your own comforting traditions, we discuss strategies to balance the pull of social expectations with personal well-being, always keeping your happiness at the forefront.
As the magic of Christmas envelopes us, we reflect on the comforting warmth of traditions new and old. From the ritual of sipping hot chocolate to the laughter of Secret Santa exchanges, we explore how the holiday spirit can evolve with time yet always remain special. We emphasize the joy of connecting with loved ones and the importance of community in keeping the holiday magic alive. Join our heartfelt discussion on embracing the season's spirit while thoughtfully reevaluating relationships that may not contribute positively to your festive joy. Share in our journey and the stories of others, as we spread cheer and foster a sense of togetherness this holiday season.
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Love and smiles from The English Sisters.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's party season and many of you may be looking
forward to parties, but some ofyou may be thinking, oh yeah,
some, some of you may not like.
You know those socialinteractions that a lot of the
time you kind of have to go toor you feel obliged to go to,
don't you?
Especially in work environments, you do, you feel as if you're,
you know, you feel as if you'regoing to miss out if you don't
(00:21):
go as well.
It's as if you're you know, youfeel as if you're going to miss
out if you don't go as well.
So there is a part of you thatmay want to go, but then there's
another part of you that'sconcerned.
Like what am I going to wear?
Have I got anything?
Yeah, you know what I mean.
What's that syndrome called?
When you want to do it?
Oh, yeah, fear of missing out.
It's not, yeah, the fear ofmissing out, yeah, but there's
(00:41):
also germoy, the joy of missingout.
Yeah, there's these littlereels going around now I saw
saying yeah, I'm quite happy tobe at home.
Who misses parties when you canbe cuddled at home watching your
favorite series?
Yeah, but kind of like, I feelas if I do that a lot.
Well, yeah, like a lot ofevenings I cuddle up and put my
(01:02):
you know fluffy dressing gown onand just coochie up and watch
my favourite series.
So I don't actually mind justone.
I don't want too many, though,but I like a few now you do,
don't you?
Because it's glamorous as well,isn't it?
Because it's glamorous and it'smore sociable as well.
And also, I think the firsttimes I used to start going out
(01:23):
a bit more, it was more tiring.
I was very tired.
Sometimes I'd even get aheadache afterwards because I
would be like a little bit tense, I wouldn't know people, yeah,
having to talk to, and just thepressure of just being out and
about really in the evening.
But I think you can always justbreak the ice by saying
something like that, can't youSaying oh, these things, things,
you know you're supposed to befun, but they can get quite
(01:44):
stressful, can't they?
And then everyone else probablyit's the same.
It's lovely to get out, butthen you have to sort of be, you
know, dressed up, and uh, whatI love about going out is then
you come home and it's so lovely.
You love getting back.
So it's like you know, becauseI think you're on your phone.
So I think really, really, yes,I'm more of an introvert.
(02:06):
I do love doing that, you knowbeing, you know at home and that
.
But then there is also a need,for I think the more you go out,
the more you want to go out aswell, because you feel like you
feel like more connected to.
You're right about that.
The more you go out, the moreyou kind of realize that this is
you need it, yeah, to be closeto people, to be close to a
(02:28):
group of people, to to make theeffort.
Parties and music's loud, yeah,but there's always a kitchen or
something, yeah, yeah, you'reright, where you can actually
chat, yeah, and connect withsomebody.
You're absolutely right aboutthat.
Yeah, yeah, sometimes, likeespecially over, you know, over
the christmas, over the holidayseason, you, you find you have
to go to like family reunions,yeah, oh gosh, yeah, sometimes
(02:53):
they're a bit tricky, aren'tthey?
But then there's always thatone person, though that gives
you something, or you have alittle chat with some somebody
and you feel, I think, you justfeel better in the end
afterwards.
Well, I mean, I don't know ifyou people that are listening
feel better, you guys, but Imean it can be just personal,
(03:14):
you know.
Of course, sometimes you mightknow you might not, if you've
got, if you haven't got, very um, welcoming family exactly, or
if they're always having a go atyou exactly, depends what kind
of you know.
But if it's like that, thenmaybe you can say, no, I'm not
coming this year.
Yeah, if it's really bad andlike, establish your own little
(03:36):
traditions exactly and say, ohno, look, make up excuses and
say this year I'll becelebrating with, oh god, I
don't know if that'll be allowed, that's a bit tricky, like
actually, you know, like certaindays, like the actual christmas
day, yeah, yeah, or whereverwhen, whatever you know, you
celebrate.
You know you have to getthrough it, though, don't you
(03:59):
sometimes?
And you just have to put yourboots on and say, oh, I'm gonna
do it, for there might be oneperson in your family that
really needs you there.
Yes, even the other peopledon't want you to be there or
don't care if you're there ornot.
Maybe it's a parent, yeah, yeah, somebody who really wants you
there, or a sibling, or a closefriend or someone.
Yeah, exactly, yeah, and you'llbe letting them down if you
(04:21):
don't go.
So always think, try and thinkof the positive, of who you know
who am I helping if I go tothese things and then maybe like
, try and leave a bit early orsomething?
No, because I was thinking, yes, that is lovely to have that
kind of altruism and think aboutother people, but you also want
to, you know, think aboutyourself.
So if you really don't likethese do's and these parties but
(04:46):
you feel like it's just anobligation, if you can, maybe
you can do something foryourself that you enjoy.
I do think that you don't haveto go to them.
There's no one forcing you atgunpoint.
There's moral obligations.
A lot of the times, in the caseof family, family invitations,
if you don't turn up, it's, it'srude, isn't it?
(05:09):
It's not only rude, it's likeit's like a taboo almost in
certain cultures.
You know not to come up on forthanksgiving, for christmas day
or for whatever you know,whatever kind of uh party you,
you know, you, you, um, you goto.
You go to whatever kind ofthing is you know is part of
(05:30):
your religion or whatever Ithink there are.
You do still have to setboundaries.
So if it, if you find that itreally does make you feel bad
every time you go and you'refeeling really bad about it and
you're dreading going, and thenit's really, it really is awful
on the day and you just end upfighting and bickering and there
is no one there that's gonnagives you any joy, gives you any
(05:53):
joy or any like support, or oryou think you don't even think
you're supporting them.
Well then, yes, I think thereis a time to say no, sorry,
sorry, cut loose and make yourown.
Yeah, this time we're notcoming.
I'm sorry, we're not coming.
It's not when we don't haveanyone.
You know, particularly likethat.
(06:15):
I used to enjoy going toChristmas, so did I.
So did I?
Yeah, we have Christmas at myhouse now, but you have it yours
on the 24th, the night before,but then you always come to
Christmas day.
Yes, we're quite lucky in thatway that you can celebrate with
her family on the 24th, and thenon the 25th we do it at my
house.
But sometimes a lot of thefamily you know the larger
(06:37):
family, they're more extended,they don't really want to come,
but then afterwards they alljolly up.
You know, once they're, theyalways say what a drag it is.
Yeah, they do right.
They say, oh, no, not Christmas, they're not.
As I mean.
Yeah, I don't know, because inEngland and all our family have
always loved Christmas.
(06:57):
But I notice that a lot ofpeople they don't particularly
like it or they're sick of it orthey don't like you know the
fact that you have to be witheveryone on that day.
I mean we love it.
We love Christmas.
I mean it's just one day.
So I think it's okay becauseyou know if you do have some
Christmas holidays from work andyou know if it's just one meal
(07:18):
you have to attend, okay.
But sometimes the things likecelebrations can go on for ages.
Like one of my daughter'sfriends got married, like last
summer, and he was saying thathis celebrations he had to go
around to see all his auntiesand friends and friends of them
because it was in a littlevillage, right.
(07:39):
So he said that he was italian,really, yeah, he was italian
and so it's really she's italianas well.
So it's really like lengthy,heavy going and lengthy, very
lengthy process Because you hadto go and if you missed one out
it was a big deal.
You know they'd be offendedlike for the rest of their lives
.
Oh, because he wouldn't go andvisit, he had to go and visit
(08:01):
everybody.
He had to go and visiteverybody, yeah, and say you
know, say we're getting married,otherwise it was officially
considered very rude, very rude,very rude.
Yeah, that's from in southernItaly.
It's a bit like that.
Yes, in southern Italy, thiswas in southern Italy.
Yeah, because in Rome it's alittle bit more easygoing now.
It's very easygoing here.
Well, I don't know, they'revery easygoing, but they're sort
(08:22):
of like.
You know, weddings are aparticular thing, I think, in
every culture, but yeah, I thinkhere in Rome they're like more
okay, you know, I don't know,when it comes down to it it's
all very tricky.
Anyway, really, the thing aboutthis you know this episode was
(08:43):
really about parties just, youknow, nice parties that you
might want to go to, things thathave Christmas parties, people
saying, come along, christmasdrinks.
Sometimes, you know, all thisChristmas, you know, you think
how can you suddenly be sojoyful when you were a misery
guts, you know, last week, andnow you know, or how do you get
into the Christmas spirit?
(09:04):
Yeah, but a lot of people don'tunderstand how to get into that
Christmas spirit.
Well, you get into it by doingit.
Exactly you have to put thelittle little decorations that
go to the parties.
Yeah, you start.
Eat the foods, eat the specialChristmas foods, that kind of
remind you.
Yes, and that's how the spiritsort of evolves, doesn't it like
(09:25):
?
For me it's like going for a hotchocolate.
Yes, you know, I love that, sothat I, oh, that's kind of like
wintry, christmassy.
So I might have a drink of ahot chocolate and then suddenly
feel, oh, in the mood, or youmight, you know, but sometimes I
do feel, because I'm 57.
Because you can, I think I'mnot a kid, you know, I'm not a
baby anymore, so the Christmasspirit doesn't suddenly, you
(09:48):
know all the thrill of FatherChristmas.
You know all the thrill offather.
You've never been as much Ihave.
What are you talking about?
Not as mad about it as I have.
Not as mad about it.
No, I think it's because yourhusband's not as mad about it,
though he couldn't give.
You know, he really couldn'tgive it.
Yeah, he doesn't.
He discovered christmas throughme.
You do not cook the turkey, Icook it.
(10:09):
Yes, I think if you cook theturkey it might make you feel
more christmassy.
Well, I love christmas becauseI just come to your house.
So for me, christmas is like,you know, like the decorations.
You usually leave that more upto me because you can't.
You think I'm going tochristmas at violettas, yes, but
so you do do christmas as well,but I don't think you do it to
(10:29):
the extent that I do it.
No, no, no.
I get tired of all of that.
Yeah, no.
And then you know you want toput the Christmas tree away
really quickly.
Yeah, sometimes I just want tosort of get, oh, get the house
back into.
You know all these bits andbobs all over the place.
There was an involvement lastyear because you still got a
wreath up that you left up fromChristmas.
(10:50):
Yeah, because that doesn't looklike a christmas wreath, it's
like some kind of winter wreath.
It's a winter wreath.
Yeah, I left it up.
Yeah, yeah, I do.
You're right about that.
Yeah, they do like, like one ofmy, my oldest son, said let's
put up the christmas treealready and I thought, god,
already.
You know that's a bit early.
And then I like to have likevery simple tree which is a
(11:11):
sparkling light, very simple.
So I don't want too much stuffon it.
But that's just personal taste.
Really, I still do love theChristmas uh thing I did.
I did start to get really tiredof having to get like every
single person on the list.
You know, the Italian family isvery large.
Is it a problem?
Yeah, and they started of.
(11:32):
Oh, in the end, I used to startgetting tired of it and I
thought, no, that's not theright mentality.
Instead of getting tired of it,let's sort of like, make a game
out of it, make it more fun.
And so, since everyone's anadult basically now, no, they're
all adults in my family.
They are, yeah, even theyoungest little one.
He's 18 now.
So, yeah, I'm gonna be 90, so Ihave like a secret santa.
(11:55):
Yes, so in the end last year, Isaid let's have a secret santa.
And, um, not everyoneunderstood why I was trying to,
but I did.
I did say it look, there'sgonna be like 10 gifts and
they're all random and they'renot.
The other wasn't.
No, no, it wasn't actually.
(12:18):
I'm thinking about that now.
So that might be a bit of anissue, because each one was used
to getting their own gift.
Yeah, they look forward to it.
Yeah, they were looking forwardto the gift that they're.
I don't know what we're going tobe doing this year, because
that's also another issue, isn'tit?
Because, you know, this year myhusband actually has an
operation.
Yes, that's going to be tricky.
He's got to have a whole kneereplacement, a whole knee.
(12:42):
I mean, yikes.
Yeah, that's on the 20th, sohopefully he'll be okay,
hopefully he'll be able to comefor Christmas.
He might be able to make it.
I think the Christmas spiritwill prevail and he'll get out.
They'll kick him out ofhospital, I don't know.
Yeah, but you know, I think youknow even things like this,
(13:07):
let's.
But then you have to be flexibleabout things.
Flexible, yes, don't say it'sjust, it's going to ruin the end
of Christmas because I've gotto be in hospital or whatever.
Just keep the Christmas spiritgoing.
Yes, and if you can't have thatspecial meal on that day, you
can make it.
That's what I'm trying to say,that's what I said to myself.
Okay, it doesn't matter, I'llbe there.
(13:28):
You know, the important thing isnot just the special meal, no,
it's the whole.
It really is the wholeChristmas festivities being with
your family, being with yourfriends, taking time off.
It's time to reconnect with uh,with your family and your
friends.
But obviously, and if you, andif you, if you struggle with
that because your family andyour friends aren't that
supportive, you know well, it'smaybe it's a time also to
(13:51):
reflect and think maybe I needsome new friends that will
support me and I do enjoy it.
And, you know, start some newlittle christmas traditions.
Yes, that's how it could be.
Even going away for christmas,yeah, you might say I'm gonna go
away up the road or whatever.
If you can't, everyone startstheir own tradition somewhere.
You know, yes, exactly eachlittle nucleus of people that
(14:14):
form together and gather friends, family, whatever it is, you
all start your own littletraditions.
Yeah, because it's fine, it'sokay, it's good to do that, it's
good, and then each one hastheir own, like we.
Personally, I, in my family, Iwant everyone to open their
gifts on Christmas morning.
(14:35):
Yes, because it's that that's abit of a problem.
Because they're Italian, theywant to open it.
Yes, they were born here.
They want to open it onChristmas Eve.
Yeah, in Italy, the childrenwait up and you don't go to bed
early for one day and you waitup and then santa arrives
somehow, through, you know, andthe chimney through the chimney.
No, not because they don'tarrive through the chimney, no,
(14:58):
no, he kind of just arrives,even knocks on the door or
something.
It's not half as you know, thisfairy tale that you have to go
to sleep.
Yeah, that I.
So I kind of wanted to recreatethat for my children.
You know, and I used to say no,we, you know, by the chimney is
when your real gifts willarrive.
(15:32):
Because I wanted to create thatmagic that we had growing up,
because I still remember theemotion of feeling or getting
out, not being able to sleep allnight.
Yeah, that was.
It was hard, it was asufferance, but how exciting and
magical was it to see thosegifts under the tree, that you
(15:52):
really believed in magic for oneday.
You know, it was true, and thegrown-ups all seemed to believe
it as well.
They did believe it, otherwisewe wouldn't have believed it.
Well, they didn't believe itbecause mum and dad were the
ones who put the gifts there,but they believed in the story,
in the magic of it.
Yes, what we tell ourselves,they're all stories, aren't they
(16:13):
?
They are all stories.
Yeah, like fairies that livedat the bottom of the garden was
more of like, oh, like you kidshave a fun with that.
Yes, but father christmas waslike, oh, wow, you know, that
was a real thing, even on thenews.
You would hear it when youwould see him on the news Father
Christmas is arriving.
So children, all of you go tobed.
Yes, and you know you wouldhear like BBC would announce it.
(16:37):
So come on, you know, was itsome kind of?
Obviously Some children wereaffected by that when they
learned that it wasn't true.
Oh, yes, you know, but mostkids they try to have it.
I think most of you, you know,appreciate the fact that it was
your parents that was creatingthe Santa.
(16:58):
You know the magic of it.
The magic of it, yeah, orwhoever it was that was doing it
, you know, yeah, whoever it was, a neighbour bringing gifts,
whoever it was, I remember thatour neighbour was worried about
the bike that she'd bought herchildren, really, and we had to
hide it at our house because shesaid it's got to come down the
(17:19):
chimney and I have to explainhow Santa could get it in
through that.
I mean, it's all a bit of alaugh where everyone grown up,
everyone kind of joins into thiswonderful, you know, moment of
magic, really.
And maybe it's not wonderfulfor those who can't have a gift,
and I understand that.
(17:42):
But then there's always someonethat's going to give a gift.
Isn't there Someone that youcan go to?
Or there's lots of charitiesthat give gifts for children.
I think you can if you want.
If you're a parent and you wantyour child to have a gift, yes,
there's a way of getting them.
There's a way.
Yes, there is a way.
Yeah, there is a way.
No, yes, it's made me startcrying.
(18:05):
No, because I'm thinking aboutyou know how.
But there are so many charities.
Yes, even you know you goaround.
Yeah, there's so many.
If you actually go to a charityand say, look, I can't afford to
bring my children, you know,whatever it is, but I want them
to receive something, no, therewill be.
There will there will be.
There's so many people thatwant to help.
(18:25):
Yeah, there are.
I mean, I remember here therewas a case in, in, you know, in
Rome.
I remember there was theseparents that said our kid has
asked for this particular toyand we just simply can't afford
it because it costs like 100euros or something.
It was really expensive.
And, oh my gosh, you know thatthat was released.
And then, ah, you know therewas so many people that wanted
(18:49):
to help and they were saying, ifany any other parents have this
problem, you know, please reachout and we'll try and help you.
We're sending, we're so thereare to anything to keep this
Santa alive.
You know we like all believe init, so you know, anyway, it's,
it's fun.
(19:09):
It's fun.
We love to hear from you.
So let us know if you like uhparties or if you like christmas
it's turning to more of achristmas conversation about, I
guess.
So, yeah, and if you are goingthrough the holidays, wishing
you very happy holidays and seeyou next week.
See you next week.
Lots of love and smiles fromthe english sisters.
It's party season and many of you may be looking
forward to parties, but some ofyou may be thinking, oh yeah,
some, some of you may not like.
You know those socialinteractions that a lot of the
time you kind of have to go toor you feel obliged to go to,
don't you?
Especially in work environments, you do, you feel as if you're,
you know, you feel as if you'regoing to miss out if you don't
(00:21):
go as well.
It's as if you're you know, youfeel as if you're going to miss
out if you don't go as well.
So there is a part of you thatmay want to go, but then there's
another part of you that'sconcerned.
Like what am I going to wear?
Have I got anything?
Yeah, you know what I mean.
What's that syndrome called?
When you want to do it?
Oh, yeah, fear of missing out.
It's not, yeah, the fear ofmissing out, yeah, but there's
(00:41):
also germoy, the joy of missingout.
Yeah, there's these littlereels going around now I saw
saying yeah, I'm quite happy tobe at home.
Who misses parties when you canbe cuddled at home watching your
favorite series?
Yeah, but kind of like, I feelas if I do that a lot.
Well, yeah, like a lot ofevenings I cuddle up and put my
(01:02):
you know fluffy dressing gown onand just coochie up and watch
my favourite series.
So I don't actually mind justone.
I don't want too many, though,but I like a few now you do,
don't you?
Because it's glamorous as well,isn't it?
Because it's glamorous and it'smore sociable as well.
And also, I think the firsttimes I used to start going out
(01:23):
a bit more, it was more tiring.
I was very tired.
Sometimes I'd even get aheadache afterwards because I
would be like a little bit tense, I wouldn't know people, yeah,
having to talk to, and just thepressure of just being out and
about really in the evening.
But I think you can always justbreak the ice by saying
something like that, can't youSaying oh, these things, things,
you know you're supposed to befun, but they can get quite
(01:44):
stressful, can't they?
And then everyone else probablyit's the same.
It's lovely to get out, butthen you have to sort of be, you
know, dressed up, and uh, whatI love about going out is then
you come home and it's so lovely.
You love getting back.
So it's like you know, becauseI think you're on your phone.
So I think really, really, yes,I'm more of an introvert.
(02:06):
I do love doing that, you knowbeing, you know at home and that
.
But then there is also a need,for I think the more you go out,
the more you want to go out aswell, because you feel like you
feel like more connected to.
You're right about that.
The more you go out, the moreyou kind of realize that this is
you need it, yeah, to be closeto people, to be close to a
(02:28):
group of people, to to make theeffort.
Parties and music's loud, yeah,but there's always a kitchen or
something, yeah, yeah, you'reright, where you can actually
chat, yeah, and connect withsomebody.
You're absolutely right aboutthat.
Yeah, yeah, sometimes, likeespecially over, you know, over
the christmas, over the holidayseason, you, you find you have
to go to like family reunions,yeah, oh gosh, yeah, sometimes
(02:53):
they're a bit tricky, aren'tthey?
But then there's always thatone person, though that gives
you something, or you have alittle chat with some somebody
and you feel, I think, you justfeel better in the end
afterwards.
Well, I mean, I don't know ifyou people that are listening
feel better, you guys, but Imean it can be just personal,
(03:14):
you know.
Of course, sometimes you mightknow you might not, if you've
got, if you haven't got, very um, welcoming family exactly, or
if they're always having a go atyou exactly, depends what kind
of you know.
But if it's like that, thenmaybe you can say, no, I'm not
coming this year.
Yeah, if it's really bad andlike, establish your own little
(03:36):
traditions exactly and say, ohno, look, make up excuses and
say this year I'll becelebrating with, oh god, I
don't know if that'll be allowed, that's a bit tricky, like
actually, you know, like certaindays, like the actual christmas
day, yeah, yeah, or whereverwhen, whatever you know, you
celebrate.
You know you have to getthrough it, though, don't you
(03:59):
sometimes?
And you just have to put yourboots on and say, oh, I'm gonna
do it, for there might be oneperson in your family that
really needs you there.
Yes, even the other peopledon't want you to be there or
don't care if you're there ornot.
Maybe it's a parent, yeah, yeah, somebody who really wants you
there, or a sibling, or a closefriend or someone.
Yeah, exactly, yeah, and you'llbe letting them down if you
(04:21):
don't go.
So always think, try and thinkof the positive, of who you know
who am I helping if I go tothese things and then maybe like
, try and leave a bit early orsomething?
No, because I was thinking, yes, that is lovely to have that
kind of altruism and think aboutother people, but you also want
to, you know, think aboutyourself.
So if you really don't likethese do's and these parties but
(04:46):
you feel like it's just anobligation, if you can, maybe
you can do something foryourself that you enjoy.
I do think that you don't haveto go to them.
There's no one forcing you atgunpoint.
There's moral obligations.
A lot of the times, in the caseof family, family invitations,
if you don't turn up, it's, it'srude, isn't it?
(05:09):
It's not only rude, it's likeit's like a taboo almost in
certain cultures.
You know not to come up on forthanksgiving, for christmas day
or for whatever you know,whatever kind of uh party you,
you know, you, you, um, you goto.
You go to whatever kind ofthing is you know is part of
(05:30):
your religion or whatever Ithink there are.
You do still have to setboundaries.
So if it, if you find that itreally does make you feel bad
every time you go and you'refeeling really bad about it and
you're dreading going, and thenit's really, it really is awful
on the day and you just end upfighting and bickering and there
is no one there that's gonnagives you any joy, gives you any
(05:53):
joy or any like support, or oryou think you don't even think
you're supporting them.
Well then, yes, I think thereis a time to say no, sorry,
sorry, cut loose and make yourown.
Yeah, this time we're notcoming.
I'm sorry, we're not coming.
It's not when we don't haveanyone.
You know, particularly likethat.
(06:15):
I used to enjoy going toChristmas, so did I.
So did I?
Yeah, we have Christmas at myhouse now, but you have it yours
on the 24th, the night before,but then you always come to
Christmas day.
Yes, we're quite lucky in thatway that you can celebrate with
her family on the 24th, and thenon the 25th we do it at my
house.
But sometimes a lot of thefamily you know the larger
(06:37):
family, they're more extended,they don't really want to come,
but then afterwards they alljolly up.
You know, once they're, theyalways say what a drag it is.
Yeah, they do right.
They say, oh, no, not Christmas, they're not.
As I mean.
Yeah, I don't know, because inEngland and all our family have
always loved Christmas.
(06:57):
But I notice that a lot ofpeople they don't particularly
like it or they're sick of it orthey don't like you know the
fact that you have to be witheveryone on that day.
I mean we love it.
We love Christmas.
I mean it's just one day.
So I think it's okay becauseyou know if you do have some
Christmas holidays from work andyou know if it's just one meal
(07:18):
you have to attend, okay.
But sometimes the things likecelebrations can go on for ages.
Like one of my daughter'sfriends got married, like last
summer, and he was saying thathis celebrations he had to go
around to see all his auntiesand friends and friends of them
because it was in a littlevillage, right.
(07:39):
So he said that he was italian,really, yeah, he was italian
and so it's really she's italianas well.
So it's really like lengthy,heavy going and lengthy, very
lengthy process Because you hadto go and if you missed one out
it was a big deal.
You know they'd be offendedlike for the rest of their lives
.
Oh, because he wouldn't go andvisit, he had to go and visit
(08:01):
everybody.
He had to go and visiteverybody, yeah, and say you
know, say we're getting married,otherwise it was officially
considered very rude, very rude,very rude.
Yeah, that's from in southernItaly.
It's a bit like that.
Yes, in southern Italy, thiswas in southern Italy.
Yeah, because in Rome it's alittle bit more easygoing now.
It's very easygoing here.
Well, I don't know, they'revery easygoing, but they're sort
(08:22):
of like.
You know, weddings are aparticular thing, I think, in
every culture, but yeah, I thinkhere in Rome they're like more
okay, you know, I don't know,when it comes down to it it's
all very tricky.
Anyway, really, the thing aboutthis you know this episode was
(08:43):
really about parties just, youknow, nice parties that you
might want to go to, things thathave Christmas parties, people
saying, come along, christmasdrinks.
Sometimes, you know, all thisChristmas, you know, you think
how can you suddenly be sojoyful when you were a misery
guts, you know, last week, andnow you know, or how do you get
into the Christmas spirit?
(09:04):
Yeah, but a lot of people don'tunderstand how to get into that
Christmas spirit.
Well, you get into it by doingit.
Exactly you have to put thelittle little decorations that
go to the parties.
Yeah, you start.
Eat the foods, eat the specialChristmas foods, that kind of
remind you.
Yes, and that's how the spiritsort of evolves, doesn't it like
(09:25):
?
For me it's like going for a hotchocolate.
Yes, you know, I love that, sothat I, oh, that's kind of like
wintry, christmassy.
So I might have a drink of ahot chocolate and then suddenly
feel, oh, in the mood, or youmight, you know, but sometimes I
do feel, because I'm 57.
Because you can, I think I'mnot a kid, you know, I'm not a
baby anymore, so the Christmasspirit doesn't suddenly, you
(09:48):
know all the thrill of FatherChristmas.
You know all the thrill offather.
You've never been as much Ihave.
What are you talking about?
Not as mad about it as I have.
Not as mad about it.
No, I think it's because yourhusband's not as mad about it,
though he couldn't give.
You know, he really couldn'tgive it.
Yeah, he doesn't.
He discovered christmas throughme.
You do not cook the turkey, Icook it.
(10:09):
Yes, I think if you cook theturkey it might make you feel
more christmassy.
Well, I love christmas becauseI just come to your house.
So for me, christmas is like,you know, like the decorations.
You usually leave that more upto me because you can't.
You think I'm going tochristmas at violettas, yes, but
so you do do christmas as well,but I don't think you do it to
(10:29):
the extent that I do it.
No, no, no.
I get tired of all of that.
Yeah, no.
And then you know you want toput the Christmas tree away
really quickly.
Yeah, sometimes I just want tosort of get, oh, get the house
back into.
You know all these bits andbobs all over the place.
There was an involvement lastyear because you still got a
wreath up that you left up fromChristmas.
(10:50):
Yeah, because that doesn't looklike a christmas wreath, it's
like some kind of winter wreath.
It's a winter wreath.
Yeah, I left it up.
Yeah, yeah, I do.
You're right about that.
Yeah, they do like, like one ofmy, my oldest son, said let's
put up the christmas treealready and I thought, god,
already.
You know that's a bit early.
And then I like to have likevery simple tree which is a
(11:11):
sparkling light, very simple.
So I don't want too much stuffon it.
But that's just personal taste.
Really, I still do love theChristmas uh thing I did.
I did start to get really tiredof having to get like every
single person on the list.
You know, the Italian family isvery large.
Is it a problem?
Yeah, and they started of.
(11:32):
Oh, in the end, I used to startgetting tired of it and I
thought, no, that's not theright mentality.
Instead of getting tired of it,let's sort of like, make a game
out of it, make it more fun.
And so, since everyone's anadult basically now, no, they're
all adults in my family.
They are, yeah, even theyoungest little one.
He's 18 now.
So, yeah, I'm gonna be 90, so Ihave like a secret santa.
(11:55):
Yes, so in the end last year, Isaid let's have a secret santa.
And, um, not everyoneunderstood why I was trying to,
but I did.
I did say it look, there'sgonna be like 10 gifts and
they're all random and they'renot.
The other wasn't.
No, no, it wasn't actually.
(12:18):
I'm thinking about that now.
So that might be a bit of anissue, because each one was used
to getting their own gift.
Yeah, they look forward to it.
Yeah, they were looking forwardto the gift that they're.
I don't know what we're going tobe doing this year, because
that's also another issue, isn'tit?
Because, you know, this year myhusband actually has an
operation.
Yes, that's going to be tricky.
He's got to have a whole kneereplacement, a whole knee.
(12:42):
I mean, yikes.
Yeah, that's on the 20th, sohopefully he'll be okay,
hopefully he'll be able to comefor Christmas.
He might be able to make it.
I think the Christmas spiritwill prevail and he'll get out.
They'll kick him out ofhospital, I don't know.
Yeah, but you know, I think youknow even things like this,
(13:07):
let's.
But then you have to be flexibleabout things.
Flexible, yes, don't say it'sjust, it's going to ruin the end
of Christmas because I've gotto be in hospital or whatever.
Just keep the Christmas spiritgoing.
Yes, and if you can't have thatspecial meal on that day, you
can make it.
That's what I'm trying to say,that's what I said to myself.
Okay, it doesn't matter, I'llbe there.
(13:28):
You know, the important thing isnot just the special meal, no,
it's the whole.
It really is the wholeChristmas festivities being with
your family, being with yourfriends, taking time off.
It's time to reconnect with uh,with your family and your
friends.
But obviously, and if you, andif you, if you struggle with
that because your family andyour friends aren't that
supportive, you know well, it'smaybe it's a time also to
(13:51):
reflect and think maybe I needsome new friends that will
support me and I do enjoy it.
And, you know, start some newlittle christmas traditions.
Yes, that's how it could be.
Even going away for christmas,yeah, you might say I'm gonna go
away up the road or whatever.
If you can't, everyone startstheir own tradition somewhere.
You know, yes, exactly eachlittle nucleus of people that
(14:14):
form together and gather friends, family, whatever it is, you
all start your own littletraditions.
Yeah, because it's fine, it'sokay, it's good to do that, it's
good, and then each one hastheir own, like we.
Personally, I, in my family, Iwant everyone to open their
gifts on Christmas morning.
(14:35):
Yes, because it's that that's abit of a problem.
Because they're Italian, theywant to open it.
Yes, they were born here.
They want to open it onChristmas Eve.
Yeah, in Italy, the childrenwait up and you don't go to bed
early for one day and you waitup and then santa arrives
somehow, through, you know, andthe chimney through the chimney.
No, not because they don'tarrive through the chimney, no,
(14:58):
no, he kind of just arrives,even knocks on the door or
something.
It's not half as you know, thisfairy tale that you have to go
to sleep.
Yeah, that I.
So I kind of wanted to recreatethat for my children.
You know, and I used to say no,we, you know, by the chimney is
when your real gifts willarrive.
(15:32):
Because I wanted to create thatmagic that we had growing up,
because I still remember theemotion of feeling or getting
out, not being able to sleep allnight.
Yeah, that was.
It was hard, it was asufferance, but how exciting and
magical was it to see thosegifts under the tree, that you
(15:52):
really believed in magic for oneday.
You know, it was true, and thegrown-ups all seemed to believe
it as well.
They did believe it, otherwisewe wouldn't have believed it.
Well, they didn't believe itbecause mum and dad were the
ones who put the gifts there,but they believed in the story,
in the magic of it.
Yes, what we tell ourselves,they're all stories, aren't they
(16:13):
?
They are all stories.
Yeah, like fairies that livedat the bottom of the garden was
more of like, oh, like you kidshave a fun with that.
Yes, but father christmas waslike, oh, wow, you know, that
was a real thing, even on thenews.
You would hear it when youwould see him on the news Father
Christmas is arriving.
So children, all of you go tobed.
Yes, and you know you wouldhear like BBC would announce it.
(16:37):
So come on, you know, was itsome kind of?
Obviously Some children wereaffected by that when they
learned that it wasn't true.
Oh, yes, you know, but mostkids they try to have it.
I think most of you, you know,appreciate the fact that it was
your parents that was creatingthe Santa.
(16:58):
You know the magic of it.
The magic of it, yeah, orwhoever it was that was doing it
, you know, yeah, whoever it was, a neighbour bringing gifts,
whoever it was, I remember thatour neighbour was worried about
the bike that she'd bought herchildren, really, and we had to
hide it at our house because shesaid it's got to come down the
(17:19):
chimney and I have to explainhow Santa could get it in
through that.
I mean, it's all a bit of alaugh where everyone grown up,
everyone kind of joins into thiswonderful, you know, moment of
magic, really.
And maybe it's not wonderfulfor those who can't have a gift,
and I understand that.
(17:42):
But then there's always someonethat's going to give a gift.
Isn't there Someone that youcan go to?
Or there's lots of charitiesthat give gifts for children.
I think you can if you want.
If you're a parent and you wantyour child to have a gift, yes,
there's a way of getting them.
There's a way.
Yes, there is a way.
Yeah, there is a way.
No, yes, it's made me startcrying.
(18:05):
No, because I'm thinking aboutyou know how.
But there are so many charities.
Yes, even you know you goaround.
Yeah, there's so many.
If you actually go to a charityand say, look, I can't afford to
bring my children, you know,whatever it is, but I want them
to receive something, no, therewill be.
There will there will be.
There's so many people thatwant to help.
(18:25):
Yeah, there are.
I mean, I remember here therewas a case in, in, you know, in
Rome.
I remember there was theseparents that said our kid has
asked for this particular toyand we just simply can't afford
it because it costs like 100euros or something.
It was really expensive.
And, oh my gosh, you know thatthat was released.
And then, ah, you know therewas so many people that wanted
(18:49):
to help and they were saying, ifany any other parents have this
problem, you know, please reachout and we'll try and help you.
We're sending, we're so thereare to anything to keep this
Santa alive.
You know we like all believe init, so you know, anyway, it's,
it's fun.
(19:09):
It's fun.
We love to hear from you.
So let us know if you like uhparties or if you like christmas
it's turning to more of achristmas conversation about, I
guess.
So, yeah, and if you are goingthrough the holidays, wishing
you very happy holidays and seeyou next week.
See you next week.
Lots of love and smiles fromthe english sisters.
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