April 16, 2025 • 16 mins
Mental health and anxiety therapists, The English Sisters, provide effective strategies for silencing the negative inner voice that tells us we're not good enough or capable enough to achieve our goals. We share practical techniques to transform your relationship with your inner critic and regain control over your thoughts and emotions.
• Give your inner critic a silly name different from your own to create healthy disassociation
• Change your critic's voice to a cartoon character like Donald Duck to make it less threatening
• Write down critical thoughts and transform them into positive affirmations
• Remember there is no failure, only feedback – every mistake provides valuable learning
• Befriend your inner critic over time rather than fighting it
• You're better off alone than in bad company when relationships no longer serve you
• Find yourself before worrying about finding someone else
Come watch us on YouTube where we have the full video podcast of this episode, and come say hi on Instagram. Love and smiles from the English Sisters.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Starving your inner critic?
Yikes, making sure that you'renot feeding it.
That's what we're going to betalking about today In this
week's episode of Get Real Withthe English Sisters Mind, health
and anxiety.
We are therapists and we arehere to help you.
So we do hope that you findthis a helpful podcast.
(00:23):
Exactly, the starving, I mean.
Do you feed your inner critic?
So we do hope that you findthis a helpful podcast.
Exactly, they're starving, Imean.
Do you feed your inner critic?
So many people do?
They're feeding it all day long, three meals a day, or even
more.
It's like constantly being fedThree meals a day, plus snacks,
making sure it stays.
(00:43):
It thrives.
It's the opposite of what weactually want to do opposite.
Yes, it really is.
It took us a while to learnabout this inner critic.
No, we didn't have a clue, didwe?
No, I mean, there wasn't somuch information back then.
But once we learned about it,you, it's something that we all
(01:06):
have.
It's this inner voice thattells us things and says things
to us.
But you know, wouldn't it beamazing if that inner voice was
our best friend?
Yes, stick around, becausewe're going to give you some
strategies.
Strategies, so strategies thatyou will find helpful in
(01:30):
silencing and starving yourlittle inner critic, or big
inner critic, whichever it isexactly.
Yes, what do you suggest Isuggest?
All right, yes, we're divingstraight into it.
Yeah, well, I would suggest,first of all, to give this inner
critic a name, absolutely, andI think it's important for it to
have a different name to you.
(01:51):
So if your name is Jessica, youwant to give the inner critic
another name, don't you?
Yeah Well, yes, you can callher whatever you want.
Well, yes, you can call herwhatever you want.
Yes, it's because in this way,you're being able to create some
kind of a disassociationbetween the two of you, and not
not in an unhealthy way, no, ina.
(02:13):
It's just like a fun way ofsaying okay, you know, if, if
I'm called jessica, my innercritic can be called like sally
or rabbit, oh, no, stop beingsilly rabbit, because that will
make you laugh.
Okay, okay, I thought ofanother female name, but okay,
so if I'm called jessica, myinner critic will be called
(02:34):
rabbit and you can say okay,rabbit, you know, go, you know,
I'm not going to feed you today,even though rabbit may be
saying things to me that aregonna think well, you're not
good enough to do that.
You're not strong enough.
Somebody else took advantage ofyou.
You're gonna, you're gonna,fail at this.
You know all the nasty things,but when you think it's called
(02:56):
rabbit, can you see how thatmakes you laugh immediately?
Yes, it puts you in a good mood.
It changes your, your frame ofof mind, this state of mind.
Yes, it does actually.
Yeah, it does remind me of atherapy session we had with a
client once, exactly, but we did, we did tell her, indeed, to
think of her in a critic, as acartoon character, exactly that
(03:17):
she'd.
Often.
She said she really enjoyed itwhen she was little.
Yeah, and that really did helpher.
Yeah, well, it does help,because it puts you it already
is really good immediatelychanges the whole frame of
things, doesn't it?
Yeah, and it's gonna make youlaugh.
It will make and it'll make youthink.
Well, my inner critic isn'tsomeone that I should take
(03:38):
seriously because they don'tcount.
Well, they don't count.
Yeah, they're like, uh, they'renot someone I should be
respecting and holding in highstandards.
No, it's not somebody that Ishould prioritise.
Their advice, yes, what kind ofadvice are you going to be
giving me?
You're going to be telling medon't do it, you're not good
enough, especially if they'reyou know they're not.
(03:59):
It's not positive criticism.
Very often no, well, of course,not positive criticism.
Very often, this, you know,critic comes out.
It's stopping you from doingwhat you need to do or want to
do, stopping you from goingwhere you want to go, by telling
you that you cannot do it oryou're not good enough for
whatever it is.
Yeah, yeah, that's a reallygood thing.
You shouldn't go to thisbecause you're like ugly or
(04:21):
you're.
I know, yeah, you're not prettyenough to wear that outfit,
whoever you are.
Yeah, yeah, you're not thatkind of person that wears things
like that.
You don't wear jewelry.
You don't do this.
You're not that person exactly.
You know, get stuff to rub it.
Yeah, yeah, rub it.
You know it's time to to hit theroad.
Hit the road, jack, hit theroad.
(04:41):
Rabbit off.
You go and, uh, you know, goand take a walk somewhere.
And and you're not going to getyour carrot for today.
You know, I think so.
Don't stock up on hay andcarrots.
You know, next time you're atthe supermarket, say, hey, I'm
not buying those.
No, no, feeding you, I'm notfeeding you today, and that
(05:02):
that's a really good point.
Yeah, can you imagine how muchfreedom that gives you?
Immediately I mean, yeah, whatif you had an inner critic?
What would you call it mine?
So you're cool, I haven'treally, um, I mean anything that
would just pop up to mind.
So many years now that I'vebeen doing it, I haven't really
got anything I could think of.
(05:23):
On the moment.
I don't really have an innercritic that criticizes me that
much.
I mean, I love myself.
Yes, yes, my inner critic, no,because I was trying to think
now, my, my inner critic lovesme.
Yes, you do.
I've befriended.
No, yes, you've befriended yourinner critic.
I've befriended my inner critic.
That's where I wanted to get.
That's the second you weretrying to get to that, yeah,
(05:43):
yeah, sneaky.
No, I was thinking, because ifI was thinking, do I have an
inner critic?
Do you know?
(06:06):
In Peter Pan's story, yeah,twinkle, whatever.
I could imagine that Tinkerbell, yeah, but she would be like
helping, helps you.
Yeah, she helps me.
She like thinks come on, youknow, this friended her.
Yes, yeah, so I befriended her.
So my original inner criticcritic has now been replaced by
(06:28):
I remember, I remember when wewere first writing books, I
remember I had an inner criticthat said you're not good enough
to write a book.
You, you're not an author, youcan't write a book.
What do you think you arewriting a book?
This is ridiculous.
You know, the person would saythe, the inner critic would say
all these things to us.
(06:49):
But of course we were alreadyon this self-help yeah,
self-awareness path where wealready become aware of the
inner critic.
So we could say hey, just going.
We used to say go and have acup of tea in a critic, you know
, go and have a little rest.
But I guess that was kind oflike befriending it, because it
wasn't saying get lost, offeringit food, tea and cakes, but in
(07:14):
a different room.
You know, we're not, we're notstarving you, we want.
We.
We're going to befriend youhere, but at the same time we're
not going to be listening towhat you're saying to us right
now, because now we need to becreative and we need to be in
the flow.
I remember how many times wouldI say to myself oh gosh, what am
I doing?
I'm writing a story about atree.
(07:35):
You know this, this sounds likea, a kid's story.
But then I would say get, stopit.
I know I'm being influenced bymy inner critic now.
So you would like cross-examineyour inner critic.
Yeah, yeah, I would like crossit.
What are you doing?
I would say what are you doing?
You know?
No, no, let me be in thiswonderful flow now, and the flow
(07:59):
was stronger than what theinner critic would say in the
end and I could manage to write.
But yes, it is interesting.
It's interesting what we say toourselves and it's interesting
to know that, if you do have aninner critic that's always
bothering you.
Interesting to know that, ifyou do have an inner critic
that's always bothering you,that you can give it, you know,
(08:19):
some kind of a funny name, acartoon character.
You can think of it assomething that can be not taken
seriously, because that's whatit's meant to be.
Yeah, you can also change itsvoice.
So most people haven't it, likea lot of them, our clients that
we've seen have maybe have oneof their parents talking to them
in a really like you're notgood enough, you're not this.
(08:42):
Yes, yes, like in a certain way, in a certain voice, and so
what you can do is you can thinkyou can just change it and,
like put a cartoon character'svoice onto it.
Yes, so imagine it.
You're not good enough, you'rerubbish, you're ridiculous.
Yeah, something like that.
With really high tones you canchange the pitch so that it's
(09:04):
not threatening.
So if normally it would be athreatening voice that you hear
in your head, you change it to areally high voice.
Maybe put some party musicalong with it, like a happy
birthday song or something.
Yeah, it's difficult to be, youknow, really annoyed if your
inner critic sounds like DonaldDuck.
Yeah, you know, he's got thatfunny voice, it's going to.
(09:25):
So whatever they're saying toyou, they're going to say in
that funny voice I don't knowhow to do that, neither do I,
and I do not pretend to know howto do it, but you, you know
it's like whack, whack.
I don't know, um, but you know,when you said the rabbit, I
kind of imagined like you knowthis rabbit, so I, you can
(09:46):
imagine it, you know, and, andit can be really helpful, that's
really powerful.
If you change your innercritic's voice, you're
immediately you'll probablystart laughing.
You won't take your innercritic seriously, you know
you'll.
You'll end up becoming friendswith it.
You'll find that your innercritic doesn't appear as often.
No, it doesn't come knocking onyour door as often because it's
got nothing to because you'renot listening to it, so it's not
(10:08):
getting fed.
It's not getting fed.
You're not prioritizing whatit's saying to you.
You're, you're putting it away,you're sending it off, you're
laughing.
You're laughing when it appearsas you're putting you in a good
mood, when it can hear.
You can hear that voice and inthe end, your inner critic
transforms and it actuallybecomes your best friend.
That's why, when I asked foryour letter, what's your inner
(10:30):
critic's name?
She couldn't actually come upwith a name.
And I can't really come up witha name either.
No, because I haven't reallygot one, not now, not now
because of the journey we'vecome on, and the journey comes
through awareness.
Yeah, it's.
Once you're aware of the factthat there is even you know this
thing called inner critic, youcan understand what's going on
(10:52):
in your mind and you become, youcan become the master of your
mind, which is really, really,really important and essential
for a healthy life.
Yeah, and you can also, if you,if you, if your inner critic
has been very um, demanding andwants lots of food, you can
write down on a piece of paper.
(11:13):
You can write things down likewhat's it saying to you I'm not
good enough, so you change itaround.
I am good enough, thank youvery much.
You can't do this.
I can do this, thank you verymuch, and so, so, so, so on and
so forth.
All right, oh, you mean, justtransform what you're hearing
around, write it down.
(11:34):
You write it down on a piece ofpaper, on your, on your tablet
or phone or whatever, and youjust turn it around and you do
the opposite.
There is a power in looking atthe written word and and then
you can look at it neutrally aswell and think, well, yeah,
that's not really true.
Have I got evidence?
Have I do I really know thatthis is true?
No, it's not true Exactly, youmay have never tried something
(11:58):
before.
How do you know you know?
How do you know that you can'tdo that?
It's like in our case when wewere writing books.
How do we know that we, becauseof what?
How does anyone ever know,before starting something, that
you can't do it or that you'renot going to do it right?
You don't know, you may havehad failures, but you can try
(12:18):
again.
Yeah, going to do it right.
You don't know.
No, you may have had failures,but you can try again.
Yeah.
And who has the power to tellyou what you can and cannot do
you do.
You're the only one that hasthe real power.
So don't listen to your innercritic if it's telling you can't
do something because you youwork.
Like what yuka says you won't beable to know if you can do it
until you've actually done itand failed.
(12:39):
If you're failing, if you coulddo it and succeed.
And then afterwards you have tothink there is no failure,
there is only feedback from themistakes you may have made.
That's feedback for you foryour long life ahead.
That's feedback for you Everysingle time you fail at
something or you perceive it tobe a failure.
(13:01):
There's feedback to be learned.
That's amazing.
That was an amazing phrase.
There was no failure, onlyfeedback.
Yeah, that's a neuro-linguisticprogramming phrase and it can
change your life because you cango and do things and know that
if you fail, it's okay to failand as long as you're not
(13:22):
harming anyone or doing anything.
You know that's not good, butyou can try things out.
You can definitely try thingsout.
You know it doesn't reallymatter.
You can be in a relationshipwith a long time and then maybe
with somebody, for example, andthink, okay, now it's time for
(13:43):
you want to go on, but you couldhave your inner voice saying,
no, if you leave this person,you won't find anyone else.
Oh, yes, you know that's a timewhen you can think, okay, inner
critic, push them aside and andthink there is no failure, only
(14:04):
feedback.
So I don't.
It's not because I've decidedto finish the relationship with
this person, whatever it is work, romance, whatever it is.
It doesn't mean that I failedat that.
No, it means I've the time hascome for a change in my life.
Exactly that's what it reallydoes mean.
Yeah, and I always think ofwhat mum used to say yeah, I
(14:26):
think about that a lot as well.
You're better off on your ownthan in bad company.
Yes, so if something isn'treally working for you and
you've done everything to makeit work, there's no point.
Just can you just think.
Just you know carrying onbecause you think that you're
(14:46):
not good enough or you're not.
You won't find anyone else,because it's absolutely not true
and it's.
You may have some, you may havea time alone, and that will be
time for you to grow even moreand to mature and no matter what
age you are, because you canalways mature and just to think
about it and think okay, thereis feedback.
(15:06):
In every relationship there'salways been good times.
There's always something thatyou share with each other.
That's something that you cantreasure, but at the same time,
it doesn't mean.
You know.
There's so many times.
It's also a time to not to findanyone else, but to find
yourself Exactly.
You can find yourself and knowwho you really are.
(15:27):
And you know, silence yourinner critic and allow yourself
to thrive and to flourish andgrow in every way.
Absolutely so.
Let us know what you think.
Do you have an inner critic?
Most of us do, even if webefriended them.
Yes, but we remember a timewhen perhaps you know, their
(15:50):
voice was louder in our minds,exactly yes, and do try these
tips for silencing your innercritic and let us know if they
work for you.
And do come and watch us onYouTube, where we have the full
video podcast of this episode,and come say hi.
Come say hi On Instagram,wherever you find us.
(16:12):
Love and smiles from theEnglish Sisters.
Bye, bye, bye.
We're therapists and we're hereto help you.
See you soon.
Starving your inner critic?
Yikes, making sure that you'renot feeding it.
That's what we're going to betalking about today In this
week's episode of Get Real Withthe English Sisters Mind, health
and anxiety.
We are therapists and we arehere to help you.
So we do hope that you findthis a helpful podcast.
(00:23):
Exactly, the starving, I mean.
Do you feed your inner critic?
So we do hope that you findthis a helpful podcast.
Exactly, they're starving, Imean.
Do you feed your inner critic?
So many people do?
They're feeding it all day long, three meals a day, or even
more.
It's like constantly being fedThree meals a day, plus snacks,
making sure it stays.
(00:43):
It thrives.
It's the opposite of what weactually want to do opposite.
Yes, it really is.
It took us a while to learnabout this inner critic.
No, we didn't have a clue, didwe?
No, I mean, there wasn't somuch information back then.
But once we learned about it,you, it's something that we all
(01:06):
have.
It's this inner voice thattells us things and says things
to us.
But you know, wouldn't it beamazing if that inner voice was
our best friend?
Yes, stick around, becausewe're going to give you some
strategies.
Strategies, so strategies thatyou will find helpful in
(01:30):
silencing and starving yourlittle inner critic, or big
inner critic, whichever it isexactly.
Yes, what do you suggest Isuggest?
All right, yes, we're divingstraight into it.
Yeah, well, I would suggest,first of all, to give this inner
critic a name, absolutely, andI think it's important for it to
have a different name to you.
(01:51):
So if your name is Jessica, youwant to give the inner critic
another name, don't you?
Yeah Well, yes, you can callher whatever you want.
Well, yes, you can call herwhatever you want.
Yes, it's because in this way,you're being able to create some
kind of a disassociationbetween the two of you, and not
not in an unhealthy way, no, ina.
(02:13):
It's just like a fun way ofsaying okay, you know, if, if
I'm called jessica, my innercritic can be called like sally
or rabbit, oh, no, stop beingsilly rabbit, because that will
make you laugh.
Okay, okay, I thought ofanother female name, but okay,
so if I'm called jessica, myinner critic will be called
(02:34):
rabbit and you can say okay,rabbit, you know, go, you know,
I'm not going to feed you today,even though rabbit may be
saying things to me that aregonna think well, you're not
good enough to do that.
You're not strong enough.
Somebody else took advantage ofyou.
You're gonna, you're gonna,fail at this.
You know all the nasty things,but when you think it's called
(02:56):
rabbit, can you see how thatmakes you laugh immediately?
Yes, it puts you in a good mood.
It changes your, your frame ofof mind, this state of mind.
Yes, it does actually.
Yeah, it does remind me of atherapy session we had with a
client once, exactly, but we did, we did tell her, indeed, to
think of her in a critic, as acartoon character, exactly that
(03:17):
she'd.
Often.
She said she really enjoyed itwhen she was little.
Yeah, and that really did helpher.
Yeah, well, it does help,because it puts you it already
is really good immediatelychanges the whole frame of
things, doesn't it?
Yeah, and it's gonna make youlaugh.
It will make and it'll make youthink.
Well, my inner critic isn'tsomeone that I should take
(03:38):
seriously because they don'tcount.
Well, they don't count.
Yeah, they're like, uh, they'renot someone I should be
respecting and holding in highstandards.
No, it's not somebody that Ishould prioritise.
Their advice, yes, what kind ofadvice are you going to be
giving me?
You're going to be telling medon't do it, you're not good
enough, especially if they'reyou know they're not.
(03:59):
It's not positive criticism.
Very often no, well, of course,not positive criticism.
Very often, this, you know,critic comes out.
It's stopping you from doingwhat you need to do or want to
do, stopping you from goingwhere you want to go, by telling
you that you cannot do it oryou're not good enough for
whatever it is.
Yeah, yeah, that's a reallygood thing.
You shouldn't go to thisbecause you're like ugly or
(04:21):
you're.
I know, yeah, you're not prettyenough to wear that outfit,
whoever you are.
Yeah, yeah, you're not thatkind of person that wears things
like that.
You don't wear jewelry.
You don't do this.
You're not that person exactly.
You know, get stuff to rub it.
Yeah, yeah, rub it.
You know it's time to to hit theroad.
Hit the road, jack, hit theroad.
(04:41):
Rabbit off.
You go and, uh, you know, goand take a walk somewhere.
And and you're not going to getyour carrot for today.
You know, I think so.
Don't stock up on hay andcarrots.
You know, next time you're atthe supermarket, say, hey, I'm
not buying those.
No, no, feeding you, I'm notfeeding you today, and that
(05:02):
that's a really good point.
Yeah, can you imagine how muchfreedom that gives you?
Immediately I mean, yeah, whatif you had an inner critic?
What would you call it mine?
So you're cool, I haven'treally, um, I mean anything that
would just pop up to mind.
So many years now that I'vebeen doing it, I haven't really
got anything I could think of.
(05:23):
On the moment.
I don't really have an innercritic that criticizes me that
much.
I mean, I love myself.
Yes, yes, my inner critic, no,because I was trying to think
now, my, my inner critic lovesme.
Yes, you do.
I've befriended.
No, yes, you've befriended yourinner critic.
I've befriended my inner critic.
That's where I wanted to get.
That's the second you weretrying to get to that, yeah,
(05:43):
yeah, sneaky.
No, I was thinking, because ifI was thinking, do I have an
inner critic?
Do you know?
(06:06):
In Peter Pan's story, yeah,twinkle, whatever.
I could imagine that Tinkerbell, yeah, but she would be like
helping, helps you.
Yeah, she helps me.
She like thinks come on, youknow, this friended her.
Yes, yeah, so I befriended her.
So my original inner criticcritic has now been replaced by
(06:28):
I remember, I remember when wewere first writing books, I
remember I had an inner criticthat said you're not good enough
to write a book.
You, you're not an author, youcan't write a book.
What do you think you arewriting a book?
This is ridiculous.
You know, the person would saythe, the inner critic would say
all these things to us.
(06:49):
But of course we were alreadyon this self-help yeah,
self-awareness path where wealready become aware of the
inner critic.
So we could say hey, just going.
We used to say go and have acup of tea in a critic, you know
, go and have a little rest.
But I guess that was kind oflike befriending it, because it
wasn't saying get lost, offeringit food, tea and cakes, but in
(07:14):
a different room.
You know, we're not, we're notstarving you, we want.
We.
We're going to befriend youhere, but at the same time we're
not going to be listening towhat you're saying to us right
now, because now we need to becreative and we need to be in
the flow.
I remember how many times wouldI say to myself oh gosh, what am
I doing?
I'm writing a story about atree.
(07:35):
You know this, this sounds likea, a kid's story.
But then I would say get, stopit.
I know I'm being influenced bymy inner critic now.
So you would like cross-examineyour inner critic.
Yeah, yeah, I would like crossit.
What are you doing?
I would say what are you doing?
You know?
No, no, let me be in thiswonderful flow now, and the flow
(07:59):
was stronger than what theinner critic would say in the
end and I could manage to write.
But yes, it is interesting.
It's interesting what we say toourselves and it's interesting
to know that, if you do have aninner critic that's always
bothering you.
Interesting to know that, ifyou do have an inner critic
that's always bothering you,that you can give it, you know,
(08:19):
some kind of a funny name, acartoon character.
You can think of it assomething that can be not taken
seriously, because that's whatit's meant to be.
Yeah, you can also change itsvoice.
So most people haven't it, likea lot of them, our clients that
we've seen have maybe have oneof their parents talking to them
in a really like you're notgood enough, you're not this.
(08:42):
Yes, yes, like in a certain way, in a certain voice, and so
what you can do is you can thinkyou can just change it and,
like put a cartoon character'svoice onto it.
Yes, so imagine it.
You're not good enough, you'rerubbish, you're ridiculous.
Yeah, something like that.
With really high tones you canchange the pitch so that it's
(09:04):
not threatening.
So if normally it would be athreatening voice that you hear
in your head, you change it to areally high voice.
Maybe put some party musicalong with it, like a happy
birthday song or something.
Yeah, it's difficult to be, youknow, really annoyed if your
inner critic sounds like DonaldDuck.
Yeah, you know, he's got thatfunny voice, it's going to.
(09:25):
So whatever they're saying toyou, they're going to say in
that funny voice I don't knowhow to do that, neither do I,
and I do not pretend to know howto do it, but you, you know
it's like whack, whack.
I don't know, um, but you know,when you said the rabbit, I
kind of imagined like you knowthis rabbit, so I, you can
(09:46):
imagine it, you know, and, andit can be really helpful, that's
really powerful.
If you change your innercritic's voice, you're
immediately you'll probablystart laughing.
You won't take your innercritic seriously, you know
you'll.
You'll end up becoming friendswith it.
You'll find that your innercritic doesn't appear as often.
No, it doesn't come knocking onyour door as often because it's
got nothing to because you'renot listening to it, so it's not
(10:08):
getting fed.
It's not getting fed.
You're not prioritizing whatit's saying to you.
You're, you're putting it away,you're sending it off, you're
laughing.
You're laughing when it appearsas you're putting you in a good
mood, when it can hear.
You can hear that voice and inthe end, your inner critic
transforms and it actuallybecomes your best friend.
That's why, when I asked foryour letter, what's your inner
(10:30):
critic's name?
She couldn't actually come upwith a name.
And I can't really come up witha name either.
No, because I haven't reallygot one, not now, not now
because of the journey we'vecome on, and the journey comes
through awareness.
Yeah, it's.
Once you're aware of the factthat there is even you know this
thing called inner critic, youcan understand what's going on
(10:52):
in your mind and you become, youcan become the master of your
mind, which is really, really,really important and essential
for a healthy life.
Yeah, and you can also, if you,if you, if your inner critic
has been very um, demanding andwants lots of food, you can
write down on a piece of paper.
(11:13):
You can write things down likewhat's it saying to you I'm not
good enough, so you change itaround.
I am good enough, thank youvery much.
You can't do this.
I can do this, thank you verymuch, and so, so, so, so on and
so forth.
All right, oh, you mean, justtransform what you're hearing
around, write it down.
(11:34):
You write it down on a piece ofpaper, on your, on your tablet
or phone or whatever, and youjust turn it around and you do
the opposite.
There is a power in looking atthe written word and and then
you can look at it neutrally aswell and think, well, yeah,
that's not really true.
Have I got evidence?
Have I do I really know thatthis is true?
No, it's not true Exactly, youmay have never tried something
(11:58):
before.
How do you know you know?
How do you know that you can'tdo that?
It's like in our case when wewere writing books.
How do we know that we, becauseof what?
How does anyone ever know,before starting something, that
you can't do it or that you'renot going to do it right?
You don't know, you may havehad failures, but you can try
(12:18):
again.
Yeah, going to do it right.
You don't know.
No, you may have had failures,but you can try again.
Yeah.
And who has the power to tellyou what you can and cannot do
you do.
You're the only one that hasthe real power.
So don't listen to your innercritic if it's telling you can't
do something because you youwork.
Like what yuka says you won't beable to know if you can do it
until you've actually done itand failed.
(12:39):
If you're failing, if you coulddo it and succeed.
And then afterwards you have tothink there is no failure,
there is only feedback from themistakes you may have made.
That's feedback for you foryour long life ahead.
That's feedback for you Everysingle time you fail at
something or you perceive it tobe a failure.
(13:01):
There's feedback to be learned.
That's amazing.
That was an amazing phrase.
There was no failure, onlyfeedback.
Yeah, that's a neuro-linguisticprogramming phrase and it can
change your life because you cango and do things and know that
if you fail, it's okay to failand as long as you're not
(13:22):
harming anyone or doing anything.
You know that's not good, butyou can try things out.
You can definitely try thingsout.
You know it doesn't reallymatter.
You can be in a relationshipwith a long time and then maybe
with somebody, for example, andthink, okay, now it's time for
(13:43):
you want to go on, but you couldhave your inner voice saying,
no, if you leave this person,you won't find anyone else.
Oh, yes, you know that's a timewhen you can think, okay, inner
critic, push them aside and andthink there is no failure, only
(14:04):
feedback.
So I don't.
It's not because I've decidedto finish the relationship with
this person, whatever it is work, romance, whatever it is.
It doesn't mean that I failedat that.
No, it means I've the time hascome for a change in my life.
Exactly that's what it reallydoes mean.
Yeah, and I always think ofwhat mum used to say yeah, I
(14:26):
think about that a lot as well.
You're better off on your ownthan in bad company.
Yes, so if something isn'treally working for you and
you've done everything to makeit work, there's no point.
Just can you just think.
Just you know carrying onbecause you think that you're
(14:46):
not good enough or you're not.
You won't find anyone else,because it's absolutely not true
and it's.
You may have some, you may havea time alone, and that will be
time for you to grow even moreand to mature and no matter what
age you are, because you canalways mature and just to think
about it and think okay, thereis feedback.
(15:06):
In every relationship there'salways been good times.
There's always something thatyou share with each other.
That's something that you cantreasure, but at the same time,
it doesn't mean.
You know.
There's so many times.
It's also a time to not to findanyone else, but to find
yourself Exactly.
You can find yourself and knowwho you really are.
(15:27):
And you know, silence yourinner critic and allow yourself
to thrive and to flourish andgrow in every way.
Absolutely so.
Let us know what you think.
Do you have an inner critic?
Most of us do, even if webefriended them.
Yes, but we remember a timewhen perhaps you know, their
(15:50):
voice was louder in our minds,exactly yes, and do try these
tips for silencing your innercritic and let us know if they
work for you.
And do come and watch us onYouTube, where we have the full
video podcast of this episode,and come say hi.
Come say hi On Instagram,wherever you find us.
(16:12):
Love and smiles from theEnglish Sisters.
Bye, bye, bye.
We're therapists and we're hereto help you.
See you soon.
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