March 19, 2025 • 19 mins
Anxiety doesn't just affect our minds – it manifests physically through chronic pain, headaches, fatigue, and even digestive issues that can severely impact our daily lives.
• Case study of a client experiencing debilitating weekend migraines after accumulating stress throughout the week
• How pleasant social situations can still trigger physical anxiety symptoms like tension headaches
• The importance of acknowledging and verbalizing anxiety to reduce its power
• Why showing vulnerability often creates connection and relieves tension
• Simple mindfulness techniques like the "mirroring hands" exercise to interrupt stress cycles
• Breaking the addiction to stress when being "on edge" becomes our normal state
• How digital scrolling prevents natural mind-wandering and relaxation
• Creating regular moments throughout the day to release tension before it accumulates
Take a moment to notice where your body might be holding tension right now. Try the mirroring hands technique we describe – simply observe your hands with curiosity and notice how your breathing naturally slows. Remember that awareness is the first step toward managing anxiety's physical manifestations.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
The number one reason why you should listen to this
is because we're going to betalking about anxiety and why it
isn't just in your mind, it'salso carried in your body and it
can cause chronic pain, chronicfatigue, all kind of illnesses,
(00:21):
immune system everything, legache, headaches, jaw headache,
jaw pain, jaw pain.
So if you're thinking, oh, myhead hurt today, migraines ask
yourself am I actually feelinganxious and stressed as well?
Is that causing, could this beone of the reasons why I'm
(00:43):
experiencing this kind of painin my body?
Yeah, so join us in this week'sepisode of get real with the
English sisters.
I mean, we had a client theother day.
We are therapists and we had aclient come to us saying they
were experiencing pain andheadaches and migraine, and
(01:07):
especially not just during theweek, but every weekend.
Yes, it was.
It was like worse at theweekends, during the week they
weren't they.
They weren't so much aware ofthe actual pain in their body
until we questioned them aboutit and then they realized it.
Then they came back to us atthe second time.
(01:28):
They said you know what?
You were actually right aboutthe jaw.
Yeah, and they had been thetension.
Obviously they'd been to theirdoctor and they talked about it
so they they'd had.
There was no underlying likecondition, like high blood
pressure or anything that wascausing the migraines.
No, no.
So the doctor said it'sprobably due to the fact that
(01:48):
you are actually stressed andanxious.
So look, you know, look at yourlife, maybe go and see a
therapist about it if you arefeeling overwhelmed, and see
what they say.
And, yes and well, I was verypleased to actually be able to
help, to be able to help thatperson so much in their life,
because I do think this is whatcan happen to all of us, even us
(02:12):
, I mean, we're therapists andwe know about it.
But there are many times whenyou just have to sort of become
aware of what your body'sactually telling you, because
you might feel anxiety in yourmind and you know that you've
got lots of like you know thingsyou have to do and and
recurring thoughts that arecoming through.
(02:33):
But the fact that the anxietycan be expressed in our bodies
too, we can feel it, I know, butit's just like.
I remember there was a time whenI would just go and do anything
like social, like when I firsthad a baby, and I would go and
do anything like there was alittle bit of social, and I
would come back with this awfulheadache, like a migraine, yeah,
(02:54):
and I would think why?
Why I'm actually doingsomething nice.
Yeah, it was supposed to be apleasant thing, like go to a
baby group or something, but Iwould always come back with this
horrible headache.
I used to get those headachestoo when I used to come to your
mummy and baby.
Yeah, and it was because wewere like making such an effort
like to be sociable and maybe wewere tense because it was like
(03:18):
our first child.
It was anxiety and there wasanxiety.
It was your first baby.
I was just coming along,because I was coming along with
you, but the anxiety was, Ithink, to sort of like talk to
other mothers.
I mean, why would you thinkyou're supposed to be having a
coffee?
Yeah, it was just like a coffeemorning.
I don't know why all thisanxiety, but that's a point
(03:40):
about anxiety.
You don't have to justify itand say why, what's wrong with
me?
Hey, you feel it.
There's a reason, exactly, andyou just just accept it.
You know, accept that.
That's a good point.
I think when you do, we did.
I mean, we both said it wasbecause we were anxious.
I mean, I, I came to theconclusion myself I wasn't a
(04:02):
therapist at the time, but Icame to the conclusion myself.
I wasn't a therapist at the time, but I came to the conclusion
myself.
It was because I was likefeeling really tense and it was
manifesting in my body.
So I was obviously, you know,clenching up, yes, hunching my
shoulders.
I don't know what I was doing,but I was obviously doing
something.
So I mean, maybe you too, ifyou're feeling like particularly
, you feel some kind of physicalpain or, you know, problem
(04:27):
after you've been doingsomething, ask yourself could it
be because I was actually tenseand I'm actually experiencing
anxiety?
The reason why we're telling youabout this kind of anxiety is
because we were supposed to behaving fun.
It was, and it's not becauseall the babies were screaming.
So don't imagine a scenariolike that.
(04:48):
All the babies were really cuteand just being really calm,
even Violetta's baby at the time.
She was adorable, she wasactually enjoying and she was
just one or something.
She was enjoying, socializingwith the other babies.
The that's the.
That's the point of it.
It was a pleasant thing.
It wasn't like we had a jobinterview or a medical
(05:08):
examination we were reallyworried about.
It was something that wassupposed to be fun.
So what I'm saying is thatsometimes, even like before you
go out to a party or somethingand it doesn't mean you have to
be like somebody that suffersfrom social anxiety it can just
be that at that moment in yourlife you might need something
(05:33):
else and you're going againstwhat you naturally need.
I don't know if I've mademyself, I think it is.
I think you, yes, you've saidyeah, you've said it right.
Yeah, I think it is that you,because I think what happens is
that you're pushing yourselfagainst what you would normally
want to do.
Yes, yes.
So you're thinking like, eventhough it was supposed to be a
(05:55):
fun thing, if I hadn't had ababy, I might not have, I
wouldn't have gone to astranger's house, exactly, and
having to like explain myselfand say who I am and everything,
yeah, yeah, hello, I'm this,and that I mean it was kind of
weird and it was kind of forced,because it wasn't like your
friends having a baby.
(06:15):
It was like all the people youdidn't know had no idea you were
entering their home, but it wassupposed to be pleasant, like a
coffee morning or something.
I think you're right, it doesn'thave to be.
You know, you can ask.
You don't have to think thatyou're weird or abnormal because
you are suffering anxiety orfeeling stressed at a certain
(06:37):
time in your life.
Exactly, I think you just haveto accept that you are stressed
and you are anxious and then,once you accept it, take a deep
breath.
Everything becomes easier.
Like, don't be so hard onyourself, know that sometimes
situations are a little bitstressful, even when they are
supposed to be fun, like whatyou at cuss is, yes, there that
you, you, at that moment in timein your life you are doing
(07:00):
something, you're pushing yourown boundaries.
Now, whether it's something thatyou want to continue doing or
it's something that you canthink about and think, uh no, is
this just giving me too muchanxiety?
Is it something I can dowithout?
Then you can analyze that andthink about.
Think about it.
Is it worth it?
Is it not worth it in my lifeat the moment?
I think the letter in the endyou said it was worth it.
(07:22):
So you pushed yourself and Ithink eventually the headaches
did.
Yeah, they got better.
They just kind of went awayonce I got to know all these
women.
Yes, you got to know the newenvironment, yeah, and it was
fun.
Afterwards we used to enjoy itand my daughter, jasmine, loved
it.
She loved playing with otherkids, she loved playing with the
other babies and I made goodfriends with some of the mums.
So it was really it was worthit.
(07:46):
Yeah, and maybe you in your lifeyou might be like going on
dates and you might be gettingheadaches after your date
because you're stressed yes,that's very common actually and
you think why, why?
You know why, I mean why it'snot, why it just happens because
you're putting a lot of effortinto it.
You may be experiencing anxietyabout the fact that you're
(08:08):
going on.
You have to meet new people.
I mean, let's face it, we'retribal.
You know, as human beings, wewere born into these small
tribes.
Anyone else that would comealong, we would either try and
attack them or you know that'swho we are.
Yeah, but we don't acknowledgethat now.
(08:29):
No, we forget to go and seeperfect strangers and think, oh,
yeah, we're going to beperfectly cool with this isn't
going to give me, but some.
For some people it might notgive them anxiety.
For some people, it does provokeanxiety, yeah, and so you just
have to acknowledge that andrealise that your shoulders are
tense, I was saying before yourbreathing might be a little bit
(08:52):
rapid.
You know you may be yourdigestive system.
Take a deep breath, yeah,become aware of these things and
then I think, if you're awareof them, you can let go.
Well, awareness is like the keyto all success.
Once you're aware of something,you've practically got the
(09:13):
answers.
It's like the magic box,because once you become aware of
it, you can do something.
If you notice that your jaw istight or you're speaking too
fast, you can take a deep breathand slow down.
If you notice that, you knowmaybe your bowels are starting
to move, you can take a deepbreath and slow down.
If you notice that you knowmaybe your bowels are starting
to move, you can just say I needto go to the, to the ladies a
minute, and you know, and andjust take, have a deep breath.
(09:37):
You know, do, maybe do a powerpose and just recompose yourself
and you know, just relax.
And I think the best way that wedidn't realize it at the time,
but I think if, if you hadopenly said to these other
mothers gosh, I was so nervousabout coming here.
I don't know why I was feelingso nervous about it.
I'm sure all the other motherswould have said hey, me too,
(10:00):
yeah, and that would haveimmediately, you know, dissip
the anxiety.
You would have shown yourvulnerability and and that
immediately helps the otherperson too, yeah, you know.
So I think, like if you're on adate and you can say I don't
know why I was so nervous aboutcoming on this day, you know I
feel really anxious about it.
You know they might to say God,are you joking?
(10:22):
You know I've been sweating.
You know I, I'm just so nervousabout this.
You know I've been sweating.
You know I, I'm just so nervousabout this.
You know you immediately showyour vulnerability and that can
help you just as much as theother people you're around,
absolutely incredibly.
So that's also another thing tonotice, just to accept it and
to and to verbalize it.
(10:42):
Open up, open up, show yourvulnerability about it.
That would be good.
Yeah, because I think we aretaught not to show our
vulnerability a lot, aren't we?
Yeah, and I think with ourclient, as he was saying once,
we told them that you can saythat you get these headaches at
the weekend.
You can tell your partner thatyou're feeling a bit, a bit
(11:04):
vulnerable, you're stressed out.
The particular case of this isthe classical migraine at the
weekend is because of all thetension that was accumulating
all throughout the week.
This particular client was infight and flight mode all week,
so that's actually quite adangerous position to be in.
She did have so much stress inher life, so much adrenaline, so
(11:28):
much so that during the weekshe was so concentrated and
focused on her work and thefamily and the kids she didn't
even have time to realize whatwas going on in her body until
saturday morning when everythingbroke down.
Everything broke down.
There was no way, everything.
And then the migraine, yeah,and you know, and then I once.
(11:52):
Now she is, she's in therapywith us, she's done two sessions
and she's beginning to feel therelease.
So what can happen is that, ifshe learns how to manage her
stress every day and havemoments throughout her day where
she can relieve the stress,yeah, she can have, like we
taught her, this thing calledthe, the mirroring hands
(12:14):
technique, which is if you'reyou know, if you're, if you're
driving, don't do it, becauseit's, it's, um, it can be
distracting, but all you have todo is just look, put your hands
in front of you and look atthem and then start observing
the lines in them and the waythey are, and your fingers, and
(12:36):
just you know, just Notice themas if they're not even your
hands, as if you've never seenthem before, and notice how your
breathing starts to slow downand maybe one hand might feel
slightly heavier than the otheror slightly warmer than the
other, and that will immediatelyput you into a state of calm,
(12:57):
relaxation.
And the reason is because yourmind is focused on something
else you are.
You pay your full attention onto what your hands look like,
the skin color.
Maybe it's slightly differentin one hand than the other,
maybe you can see some blue orgreen veins.
You notice every single thingabout the hand and your mind
(13:20):
begins to relax and calm.
And and it's one of the easiestways because your hands are
always with you to be able toinstantly feel that kind of
relaxation.
And she's begun to do thisthroughout her day at regular
intervals, when she can justtake a moment and do this hand
(13:40):
meditation relaxation.
Do this hand meditationrelaxation, and and and it's
beginning to work for her sothat by the time the evening
comes, she can unwind and feelvery relaxed and feel much more
relaxed and before be able tosleep better.
Thus, when the weekend comes,it's time for relaxation and not
for a headache.
(14:01):
Her brain doesn't have to beover, you know, over excited and
over, yes, hormones all thetime, because I mean, our minds
are like our brains are likelittle chemical laboratories,
yes, and they can producebeautiful, feel-good chemicals
or the opposite thefight-or-flight chemicals that
(14:24):
make us feel very adrenalizedand they reduce, they put
cortisol in our bodies that giveus stress and anxiety and put
our sack into fight or flight,into the protective mode.
You want to relieve that?
Don't so.
We don't want to be.
No, no, we don't need that.
We have to become aware of itand manage it.
(14:45):
You know it's like the pressurecooker.
You want to relieve the, youknow, release the steam off
every hour or so, especially inthe beginning, when you're so.
Do you know what?
You know, sometimes stress alsobecome, can become like an
addiction.
You become addicted to feelingthat way and it becomes unusual
(15:07):
not to feel.
You know, you think what'swrong with me?
Yeah, why aren't I sort of likesharp and on edge and you know,
really with it all the time.
No, you don't have to be likethat.
That's not your natural stateof mind.
That that's when you're inhyper mode, that's when you're
in full adrenaline.
You know adrenaline mode andit's necessary sometimes, but
(15:31):
most of your day should be in acalm state of mind and it can be
.
It can be.
It's just like when you werelittle and you might have been
at school or something lookingout the window and you know
you're daydreaming and your mindgoes off and it just starts
daydreaming about something.
(15:51):
We really don't have the time todaydream nowadays with all our
devices and the fact that we're,most of us, are always on the
go all day, and our mind doesn'tneed that.
It needs it.
It needs it.
It needs so much of just calmand where you, you just allow
your mind to drift and justfocus on, like, nice things,
(16:12):
just anything.
You know the window, lookoutside the window, the
raindrops on the window pane,anything mindful, as long as
it's not just scrolling through,you know, digesting content
that's been made by other people.
That's not the right kind ofcontent that you need in your
life.
Right, you need the contentthat's around you.
(16:33):
That your life.
Yeah, that's what one of thethings we always suggest to our
clients, don't we?
To stop scrolling, yeah, startmeditating, exactly, yeah.
And yeah, start you start doingsomething that will actually
make you feel good, like thisparticular client.
We suggested she did somethingand she started listening to
(16:54):
audio books in the car.
That relaxed her, yes, exactly,and she said that she loved
that on her way to work.
So, and the mindless scrollingshe was doing in the evening,
thinking that would make herfeel relaxed, it was.
It was actually not relaxingher.
She said she would spend likeabout an hour on social media,
(17:14):
two, one to two hours of justscrolling and then, even when
she was trying to watch a filmthat you know, she said her and
her husband would try and watchfilms, sometimes she would find
that she couldn't focus on thefilm.
She would have to pick up thephone and do scrolling again.
So this was just contributingto the fact.
(17:34):
You know, I think a lot of us dothat nowadays.
Yeah, and before, when, when,when we would be watching a film
and we didn't have our devices,our smartphones, there would be
moments in that film that wereboring and our mind might just
naturally wander to somethingelse, and that was essential.
We're not allowing ourselves todo that anymore.
(17:56):
There's no natural wanderinganymore where our minds are
allowed to drift off, becausewe're always Entertained,
entertained, digesting content.
Yeah, looking for the next kindof fix in what can we buy?
What?
What's funny?
This is a funny, this is alittle cat, this is all room for
silence anymore.
(18:17):
Yes, no, there is no room forour mind to just wonder.
And I think it.
It's something, he's somethingfairly easy enough to do.
You know we become aware of itand we can stop.
We can stop doing it and changeour habits, and you know it may
take a while, but it'scertainly worth it, especially
if you're experiencing chronicpain.
(18:38):
You know chronic anxiety.
You know it's definitely worthit, definitely 100% worth it.
It's definitely worth bingingon mindfulness, yes, so let us
know what you think.
Do you find that you'resuffering from stress and
anxiety and it's building up inyour body and manifesting in
(19:00):
certain ways?
Get in touch.
You can send us a text messageor watch the video on youtube.
Please do subscribe to thechannel and let us know how you
feel about things and if you'dlike us to talk about anything,
send us your suggestions.
We are therapists and we arehere to help you.
Thank you so much for listeninglove and smiles from the
(19:24):
english sisters mind health andanxiety bye.
The number one reason why you should listen to this
is because we're going to betalking about anxiety and why it
isn't just in your mind, it'salso carried in your body and it
can cause chronic pain, chronicfatigue, all kind of illnesses,
(00:21):
immune system everything, legache, headaches, jaw headache,
jaw pain, jaw pain.
So if you're thinking, oh, myhead hurt today, migraines ask
yourself am I actually feelinganxious and stressed as well?
Is that causing, could this beone of the reasons why I'm
(00:43):
experiencing this kind of painin my body?
Yeah, so join us in this week'sepisode of get real with the
English sisters.
I mean, we had a client theother day.
We are therapists and we had aclient come to us saying they
were experiencing pain andheadaches and migraine, and
(01:07):
especially not just during theweek, but every weekend.
Yes, it was.
It was like worse at theweekends, during the week they
weren't they.
They weren't so much aware ofthe actual pain in their body
until we questioned them aboutit and then they realized it.
Then they came back to us atthe second time.
(01:28):
They said you know what?
You were actually right aboutthe jaw.
Yeah, and they had been thetension.
Obviously they'd been to theirdoctor and they talked about it
so they they'd had.
There was no underlying likecondition, like high blood
pressure or anything that wascausing the migraines.
No, no.
So the doctor said it'sprobably due to the fact that
(01:48):
you are actually stressed andanxious.
So look, you know, look at yourlife, maybe go and see a
therapist about it if you arefeeling overwhelmed, and see
what they say.
And, yes and well, I was verypleased to actually be able to
help, to be able to help thatperson so much in their life,
because I do think this is whatcan happen to all of us, even us
(02:12):
, I mean, we're therapists andwe know about it.
But there are many times whenyou just have to sort of become
aware of what your body'sactually telling you, because
you might feel anxiety in yourmind and you know that you've
got lots of like you know thingsyou have to do and and
recurring thoughts that arecoming through.
(02:33):
But the fact that the anxietycan be expressed in our bodies
too, we can feel it, I know, butit's just like.
I remember there was a time whenI would just go and do anything
like social, like when I firsthad a baby, and I would go and
do anything like there was alittle bit of social, and I
would come back with this awfulheadache, like a migraine, yeah,
(02:54):
and I would think why?
Why I'm actually doingsomething nice.
Yeah, it was supposed to be apleasant thing, like go to a
baby group or something, but Iwould always come back with this
horrible headache.
I used to get those headachestoo when I used to come to your
mummy and baby.
Yeah, and it was because wewere like making such an effort
like to be sociable and maybe wewere tense because it was like
(03:18):
our first child.
It was anxiety and there wasanxiety.
It was your first baby.
I was just coming along,because I was coming along with
you, but the anxiety was, Ithink, to sort of like talk to
other mothers.
I mean, why would you thinkyou're supposed to be having a
coffee?
Yeah, it was just like a coffeemorning.
I don't know why all thisanxiety, but that's a point
(03:40):
about anxiety.
You don't have to justify itand say why, what's wrong with
me?
Hey, you feel it.
There's a reason, exactly, andyou just just accept it.
You know, accept that.
That's a good point.
I think when you do, we did.
I mean, we both said it wasbecause we were anxious.
I mean, I, I came to theconclusion myself I wasn't a
(04:02):
therapist at the time, but Icame to the conclusion myself.
I wasn't a therapist at the time, but I came to the conclusion
myself.
It was because I was likefeeling really tense and it was
manifesting in my body.
So I was obviously, you know,clenching up, yes, hunching my
shoulders.
I don't know what I was doing,but I was obviously doing
something.
So I mean, maybe you too, ifyou're feeling like particularly
, you feel some kind of physicalpain or, you know, problem
(04:27):
after you've been doingsomething, ask yourself could it
be because I was actually tenseand I'm actually experiencing
anxiety?
The reason why we're telling youabout this kind of anxiety is
because we were supposed to behaving fun.
It was, and it's not becauseall the babies were screaming.
So don't imagine a scenariolike that.
(04:48):
All the babies were really cuteand just being really calm,
even Violetta's baby at the time.
She was adorable, she wasactually enjoying and she was
just one or something.
She was enjoying, socializingwith the other babies.
The that's the.
That's the point of it.
It was a pleasant thing.
It wasn't like we had a jobinterview or a medical
(05:08):
examination we were reallyworried about.
It was something that wassupposed to be fun.
So what I'm saying is thatsometimes, even like before you
go out to a party or somethingand it doesn't mean you have to
be like somebody that suffersfrom social anxiety it can just
be that at that moment in yourlife you might need something
(05:33):
else and you're going againstwhat you naturally need.
I don't know if I've mademyself, I think it is.
I think you, yes, you've saidyeah, you've said it right.
Yeah, I think it is that you,because I think what happens is
that you're pushing yourselfagainst what you would normally
want to do.
Yes, yes.
So you're thinking like, eventhough it was supposed to be a
(05:55):
fun thing, if I hadn't had ababy, I might not have, I
wouldn't have gone to astranger's house, exactly, and
having to like explain myselfand say who I am and everything,
yeah, yeah, hello, I'm this,and that I mean it was kind of
weird and it was kind of forced,because it wasn't like your
friends having a baby.
(06:15):
It was like all the people youdidn't know had no idea you were
entering their home, but it wassupposed to be pleasant, like a
coffee morning or something.
I think you're right, it doesn'thave to be.
You know, you can ask.
You don't have to think thatyou're weird or abnormal because
you are suffering anxiety orfeeling stressed at a certain
(06:37):
time in your life.
Exactly, I think you just haveto accept that you are stressed
and you are anxious and then,once you accept it, take a deep
breath.
Everything becomes easier.
Like, don't be so hard onyourself, know that sometimes
situations are a little bitstressful, even when they are
supposed to be fun, like whatyou at cuss is, yes, there that
you, you, at that moment in timein your life you are doing
(07:00):
something, you're pushing yourown boundaries.
Now, whether it's something thatyou want to continue doing or
it's something that you canthink about and think, uh no, is
this just giving me too muchanxiety?
Is it something I can dowithout?
Then you can analyze that andthink about.
Think about it.
Is it worth it?
Is it not worth it in my lifeat the moment?
I think the letter in the endyou said it was worth it.
(07:22):
So you pushed yourself and Ithink eventually the headaches
did.
Yeah, they got better.
They just kind of went awayonce I got to know all these
women.
Yes, you got to know the newenvironment, yeah, and it was
fun.
Afterwards we used to enjoy itand my daughter, jasmine, loved
it.
She loved playing with otherkids, she loved playing with the
other babies and I made goodfriends with some of the mums.
So it was really it was worthit.
(07:46):
Yeah, and maybe you in your lifeyou might be like going on
dates and you might be gettingheadaches after your date
because you're stressed yes,that's very common actually and
you think why, why?
You know why, I mean why it'snot, why it just happens because
you're putting a lot of effortinto it.
You may be experiencing anxietyabout the fact that you're
(08:08):
going on.
You have to meet new people.
I mean, let's face it, we'retribal.
You know, as human beings, wewere born into these small
tribes.
Anyone else that would comealong, we would either try and
attack them or you know that'swho we are.
Yeah, but we don't acknowledgethat now.
(08:29):
No, we forget to go and seeperfect strangers and think, oh,
yeah, we're going to beperfectly cool with this isn't
going to give me, but some.
For some people it might notgive them anxiety.
For some people, it does provokeanxiety, yeah, and so you just
have to acknowledge that andrealise that your shoulders are
tense, I was saying before yourbreathing might be a little bit
(08:52):
rapid.
You know you may be yourdigestive system.
Take a deep breath, yeah,become aware of these things and
then I think, if you're awareof them, you can let go.
Well, awareness is like the keyto all success.
Once you're aware of something,you've practically got the
(09:13):
answers.
It's like the magic box,because once you become aware of
it, you can do something.
If you notice that your jaw istight or you're speaking too
fast, you can take a deep breathand slow down.
If you notice that, you knowmaybe your bowels are starting
to move, you can take a deepbreath and slow down.
If you notice that you knowmaybe your bowels are starting
to move, you can just say I needto go to the, to the ladies a
minute, and you know, and andjust take, have a deep breath.
(09:37):
You know, do, maybe do a powerpose and just recompose yourself
and you know, just relax.
And I think the best way that wedidn't realize it at the time,
but I think if, if you hadopenly said to these other
mothers gosh, I was so nervousabout coming here.
I don't know why I was feelingso nervous about it.
I'm sure all the other motherswould have said hey, me too,
(10:00):
yeah, and that would haveimmediately, you know, dissip
the anxiety.
You would have shown yourvulnerability and and that
immediately helps the otherperson too, yeah, you know.
So I think, like if you're on adate and you can say I don't
know why I was so nervous aboutcoming on this day, you know I
feel really anxious about it.
You know they might to say God,are you joking?
(10:22):
You know I've been sweating.
You know I, I'm just so nervousabout this.
You know I've been sweating.
You know I, I'm just so nervousabout this.
You know you immediately showyour vulnerability and that can
help you just as much as theother people you're around,
absolutely incredibly.
So that's also another thing tonotice, just to accept it and
to and to verbalize it.
(10:42):
Open up, open up, show yourvulnerability about it.
That would be good.
Yeah, because I think we aretaught not to show our
vulnerability a lot, aren't we?
Yeah, and I think with ourclient, as he was saying once,
we told them that you can saythat you get these headaches at
the weekend.
You can tell your partner thatyou're feeling a bit, a bit
(11:04):
vulnerable, you're stressed out.
The particular case of this isthe classical migraine at the
weekend is because of all thetension that was accumulating
all throughout the week.
This particular client was infight and flight mode all week,
so that's actually quite adangerous position to be in.
She did have so much stress inher life, so much adrenaline, so
(11:28):
much so that during the weekshe was so concentrated and
focused on her work and thefamily and the kids she didn't
even have time to realize whatwas going on in her body until
saturday morning when everythingbroke down.
Everything broke down.
There was no way, everything.
And then the migraine, yeah,and you know, and then I once.
(11:52):
Now she is, she's in therapywith us, she's done two sessions
and she's beginning to feel therelease.
So what can happen is that, ifshe learns how to manage her
stress every day and havemoments throughout her day where
she can relieve the stress,yeah, she can have, like we
taught her, this thing calledthe, the mirroring hands
(12:14):
technique, which is if you'reyou know, if you're, if you're
driving, don't do it, becauseit's, it's, um, it can be
distracting, but all you have todo is just look, put your hands
in front of you and look atthem and then start observing
the lines in them and the waythey are, and your fingers, and
(12:36):
just you know, just Notice themas if they're not even your
hands, as if you've never seenthem before, and notice how your
breathing starts to slow downand maybe one hand might feel
slightly heavier than the otheror slightly warmer than the
other, and that will immediatelyput you into a state of calm,
(12:57):
relaxation.
And the reason is because yourmind is focused on something
else you are.
You pay your full attention onto what your hands look like,
the skin color.
Maybe it's slightly differentin one hand than the other,
maybe you can see some blue orgreen veins.
You notice every single thingabout the hand and your mind
(13:20):
begins to relax and calm.
And and it's one of the easiestways because your hands are
always with you to be able toinstantly feel that kind of
relaxation.
And she's begun to do thisthroughout her day at regular
intervals, when she can justtake a moment and do this hand
(13:40):
meditation relaxation.
Do this hand meditationrelaxation, and and and it's
beginning to work for her sothat by the time the evening
comes, she can unwind and feelvery relaxed and feel much more
relaxed and before be able tosleep better.
Thus, when the weekend comes,it's time for relaxation and not
for a headache.
(14:01):
Her brain doesn't have to beover, you know, over excited and
over, yes, hormones all thetime, because I mean, our minds
are like our brains are likelittle chemical laboratories,
yes, and they can producebeautiful, feel-good chemicals
or the opposite thefight-or-flight chemicals that
(14:24):
make us feel very adrenalizedand they reduce, they put
cortisol in our bodies that giveus stress and anxiety and put
our sack into fight or flight,into the protective mode.
You want to relieve that?
Don't so.
We don't want to be.
No, no, we don't need that.
We have to become aware of itand manage it.
(14:45):
You know it's like the pressurecooker.
You want to relieve the, youknow, release the steam off
every hour or so, especially inthe beginning, when you're so.
Do you know what?
You know, sometimes stress alsobecome, can become like an
addiction.
You become addicted to feelingthat way and it becomes unusual
(15:07):
not to feel.
You know, you think what'swrong with me?
Yeah, why aren't I sort of likesharp and on edge and you know,
really with it all the time.
No, you don't have to be likethat.
That's not your natural stateof mind.
That that's when you're inhyper mode, that's when you're
in full adrenaline.
You know adrenaline mode andit's necessary sometimes, but
(15:31):
most of your day should be in acalm state of mind and it can be
.
It can be.
It's just like when you werelittle and you might have been
at school or something lookingout the window and you know
you're daydreaming and your mindgoes off and it just starts
daydreaming about something.
(15:51):
We really don't have the time todaydream nowadays with all our
devices and the fact that we're,most of us, are always on the
go all day, and our mind doesn'tneed that.
It needs it.
It needs it.
It needs so much of just calmand where you, you just allow
your mind to drift and justfocus on, like, nice things,
(16:12):
just anything.
You know the window, lookoutside the window, the
raindrops on the window pane,anything mindful, as long as
it's not just scrolling through,you know, digesting content
that's been made by other people.
That's not the right kind ofcontent that you need in your
life.
Right, you need the contentthat's around you.
(16:33):
That your life.
Yeah, that's what one of thethings we always suggest to our
clients, don't we?
To stop scrolling, yeah, startmeditating, exactly, yeah.
And yeah, start you start doingsomething that will actually
make you feel good, like thisparticular client.
We suggested she did somethingand she started listening to
(16:54):
audio books in the car.
That relaxed her, yes, exactly,and she said that she loved
that on her way to work.
So, and the mindless scrollingshe was doing in the evening,
thinking that would make herfeel relaxed, it was.
It was actually not relaxingher.
She said she would spend likeabout an hour on social media,
(17:14):
two, one to two hours of justscrolling and then, even when
she was trying to watch a filmthat you know, she said her and
her husband would try and watchfilms, sometimes she would find
that she couldn't focus on thefilm.
She would have to pick up thephone and do scrolling again.
So this was just contributingto the fact.
(17:34):
You know, I think a lot of us dothat nowadays.
Yeah, and before, when, when,when we would be watching a film
and we didn't have our devices,our smartphones, there would be
moments in that film that wereboring and our mind might just
naturally wander to somethingelse, and that was essential.
We're not allowing ourselves todo that anymore.
(17:56):
There's no natural wanderinganymore where our minds are
allowed to drift off, becausewe're always Entertained,
entertained, digesting content.
Yeah, looking for the next kindof fix in what can we buy?
What?
What's funny?
This is a funny, this is alittle cat, this is all room for
silence anymore.
(18:17):
Yes, no, there is no room forour mind to just wonder.
And I think it.
It's something, he's somethingfairly easy enough to do.
You know we become aware of itand we can stop.
We can stop doing it and changeour habits, and you know it may
take a while, but it'scertainly worth it, especially
if you're experiencing chronicpain.
(18:38):
You know chronic anxiety.
You know it's definitely worthit, definitely 100% worth it.
It's definitely worth bingingon mindfulness, yes, so let us
know what you think.
Do you find that you'resuffering from stress and
anxiety and it's building up inyour body and manifesting in
(19:00):
certain ways?
Get in touch.
You can send us a text messageor watch the video on youtube.
Please do subscribe to thechannel and let us know how you
feel about things and if you'dlike us to talk about anything,
send us your suggestions.
We are therapists and we arehere to help you.
Thank you so much for listeninglove and smiles from the
(19:24):
english sisters mind health andanxiety bye.
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