Episode Transcript
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Carrie Saunders (00:00):
Quick reminder
before we get started on this
episode this podcast is based onmy personal experiences and
isn't medical advice.
Birthday parties are supposedto be fun balloons, cake,
friends and the whole thing butwhen your child is gluten-free,
they can quickly become a sourceof stress, worry and even
heartbreak.
No one wants to be the kid withthe weird cupcake or the mom
(00:23):
explaining gluten-crossedcontact for the hundredth time.
In this episode, I'm sharinghow we handle birthdays
gluten-free from class partiesto family celebrations, without
feeling left out or missing outon the joy, even for us adults
as well.
Welcome to the Gluten-FreeEngineer Podcast.
I'm your host, k Saunders.
(00:44):
In 2011, I was diagnosed withceliac disease, a moment that
changed everything, but I wasdetermined not to let it hold me
back.
With my two engineering degrees, I set out to reverse engineer
the gluten-free lifestyle,breaking down recipes, safety
tips, travel hacks andeverything in between to rebuild
a life I love.
Whether you have celiac disease, gluten intolerance or simply
(01:06):
choose to live gluten-free, thispodcast is for you.
Join me each week as wesimplify the gluten-free
lifestyle, make it fun and provethat you don't have to miss out
on anything.
Welcome back to the show.
So today we're talking aboutgluten-free birthdays and what
goes along with that.
You know the emotions, thestress and how do we overcome
(01:29):
that and how do we have a fun,more normal birthday.
I know for us, when birthdayscame up, especially in the
beginning of learning that mykids need to be gluten-free, you
just sometimes got that sinkingfeeling, especially at school,
of your kid being the only onenot able to eat the cake or the
cupcakes.
And you want them to feelnormal, while still protecting
(01:51):
the health and making sure thatthey're safe, and you don't want
to feel like that mom whobrings their own food everywhere
or treats their child superspecial for seemingly no reason
when it's really not no reason.
You might have guilt, you mighthave anger when others don't
understand the seriousness ofbeing gluten-free for you and or
your child.
(02:11):
As a mom, all I wanted was formy kids to feel included and
safe, and that meant sometimesrethinking how we did birthdays.
So when we handled birthdays atour house, especially early on,
this was a bit more of a bigdeal.
Now it's more of the normalbecause it's been over 10 years,
but in the beginning it wasdefinitely a big deal.
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How do you handle your ownfamily birthdays?
So I always bake a cake myselfand, beginning when I wasn't as
good at baking gluten-free cakes, I would use a trusted
gluten-free cake mix and thatwas the way I got around getting
that birthday cake out or thosecupcakes out for my child, and
I wanted to make sure it lookedlike any other birthday cake and
(02:54):
not a special diet behind it atall.
So I worked really hard toexperiment with, first off,
trusted mixes to find a goodbirthday cake mix that was
really good.
And then later on, how do Ifind that excellent cake that's
made from scratch, and sometimesI would let the kids help me
(03:14):
decorate it with me to make it abit more, you know, normal with
them or we would, you know,work together on it.
So it really helped to includethem in the process, especially
once I started making the cakesmyself.
And then if we go out to abirthday party, say it's for a
friend or something.
When they were little, you know,I would make sure that they had
(03:35):
a birthday treat of their ownthat they could have that again.
We wanted to make it look asnormal as possible so that they
didn't feel excluded or, youknow, feel out, you know out and
unnormal.
We would also make sure thatyou know outside food was
allowed.
I'd usually talk to the parents, say, hey, my kid can't have,
you know, traditional cake orcupcakes, so I'm going to bring
(03:58):
this special muffin or cupcakeor something for themselves.
And then if there were pizza atbirthday parties, I would make
sure to bring my child their owngluten-free pizza, unless the
person that they were going totheir party they were ordering
from a place that we could getsafe gluten-free pizzas and I
would, you know, talk to theparent about you know, the
(04:20):
safety precautions of whatneeded to happen and they were
always really willing to listenand to absorb the information
and really learn from it.
So I think, as long as youapproach it from an open mind
and help educate in a kindmanner, that really helps the
other person receive theinformation you might have in
(04:42):
case they're not familiar withwhat cross contact is for
celiacs or those that are supersensitive to gluten-free.
So I would always make surethat I planned ahead for these.
So you just have to make surethat you're really thinking
ahead and getting um the plan inplace so that you don't have to
worry about your child and soit's not stressful for them, so
(05:03):
it's stress-free for you too.
One thing you really need tomake sure is to try not to show
any of the stress you might haveto your child.
I mean, obviously a healthyamount of stress is good, but I
have seen sometimes parents willnot be great at, you know,
holding back some of theirstress levels and then that
(05:24):
child, in the long run, startshaving lots of stress issues as
they get older, into the preteenand teenage years.
So just be mindful of how youlook at the situation.
The more positive you are, themore positive they will be.
They, you know, obviously learnby example, and even when we're
talking gluten-free and theirhealth, we need to make sure we
(05:44):
are showing them how to learn byexample.
And even when we're talkinggluten-free and their health, we
need to make sure we areshowing them how to learn by
example here too.
Another tip you can do is youcan have cupcakes and save them
in the freezer, or cakes in thefreezer.
Actually, cakes and cupcakeswill save pretty well in the
freezer and you can always bringit out the night before to let
it thaw at room temperature andthen add your own icing to it
for any last minute birthdaysthat happen to show up Now for
(06:08):
class parties when my childrenwere in elementary school.
You know birthday celebrationswere a thing in elementary
school and so every beginning ofthe year I would talk to the
teacher ahead of time.
I would either send them anemail or talk to them in person
and let them know about mychild's food sensitivities and
that they had celiac and it wasactually really serious and we
need to be really careful.
(06:28):
So I would work with theteacher on what works best in
their classroom.
How can I help the teacher,help my child be safe, and the
teachers always really wanted tohelp me out, and I would leave
a stash of either gluten-freecupcakes or muffins in the
teacher's fridge.
Many times they had a minifridge or they would have a big
(06:48):
fridge that they could storethat for my child and label it
for my child, because it's notthat uncommon for children to
have food allergies.
It was just a bit less of anormal thing when my children
were young for the celiac partthat wasn't as well known yet
they treated it like a foodallergy, which is the best way
to treat it, even though it'snot a true food allergy, and
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really helped make sure that mychild was safe and kept these
treats and would let me knowwhen they were getting low on
them.
And then for friends parties,like I mentioned, we always
asked what was being served andhow to help replicate things
gluten-free, if I could, and howto make sure they had safe
snacks.
Most of their friends were like, so kind and would even send me
(07:29):
pictures of products they werethinking of buying, like chips
or crackers or things like that,saying, hey, is this safe for
your child?
So make sure you leave it opento them to do things like that
and you know, if they seem a bitoverwhelmed, offer, say, hey, I
can bring something for mychild that you can sit out in a
safe place, and they are likelygoing to be very thankful for
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that.
And another thing you can dofor children who are old enough
to understand is have your childcheck with you.
Let them know, hey, it's safeto check with mom or dad or
grandma or grandpa.
You know the parent on duty tomake sure that they have a safe
option and double check whatthey can eat.
You want to give themempowerment to be able to speak
(08:10):
up for themselves, especially asthey get older, and the
confidence will really grow inyour child when they know that
you've got their back and thatyou are empowering them to also
take control of their health,even when they're in fourth or
fifth grade.
Like they can really get thisconcept a lot faster than you
would think and they really likefrom what I found with our
(08:31):
three children to be included inthe plan, be included in their
gluten-free plan, so that theycan be empowered themselves as
they got older.
We also love to bring a treatthat matches what's being served
, and this can be a visual treat.
You know, in a visual mannerreally is what I'm talking about
here.
So if I knew they had cake andpizza, I would make sure to
bring cake and pizza so thatthey weren't really standing out
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visually from the rest of theirpeer group and their friends
and we can keep your child'streat or plate separate and
label it to avoid any confusion.
That can really help whenyou're going to a party for
little kids.
I always like to tell mychildren ahead of time what the
plan is, what we're going to bedoing, what they will be eating,
(09:15):
so that they weren't blindsided, so they weren't, you know,
surprised, so they knew what toexpect and they felt more
comfortable that way and manytimes I would even offer
especially as I got better atbaking gluten-free bringing a
gluten-free dessert thateveryone can enjoy to help
normalize it.
I know when my kids were inelementary school, the kids
(09:39):
actually were asking for mygluten-free chocolate cupcakes.
They loved them better than thegluten cupcakes.
So I would actually getrequests from little kids for
some of my gluten-free stuff fortheir birthday parties or, you
know, to have a lot so that mychild can share with them.
So you want to make sure thatyou make this as normal as you
(10:00):
can and to really helpfacilitate your child's
understanding of it.
And then, just so you know tooand you know I'm talking about
these delicious gluten-freecakes that I bake I've actually
got several gluten-free cakesrecipes on our website,
theglutenfreeengineercom, so besure to check that out.
The chocolate cake is so, sodivine and I actually have a
(10:23):
YouTube supplemental video thatis linked from the recipe that
you can watch me actually makingthat cake.
It's, oh my goodness, it's likethe best chocolate cake.
I really kind of just want togo make some more of it right
now.
And then I have a really goodvanilla cake as well.
That recipe that's on thewebsite.
I'm not really a vanilla fan Iam a diehard chocolate fan but
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this vanilla cake is so goodthat I will.
I will enjoy eating it.
I really love it, and Iactually have a lemon cake as
well up on the website, and I'veeven experimented recently.
My youngest loves Neapolitanice cream, so his recent
birthday we celebrated by mecreating a gluten-free
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Neapolitan cake.
So I had a chocolate layer, astrawberry layer and a vanilla
layer and it was quite the funexperiment.
We taste tested it.
I got feedback from all my kidson how can I make this better,
and at the time I used chocolatebuttercream frosting because
chocolate is his favorite flavorand I do know that you know
(11:27):
probably should have usedvanilla buttercream because the
chocolate kind of overpoweredthe vanilla layer of the cake.
So next time we're going to useeither vanilla buttercream or
maybe even a strawberry, avanilla that's been modified
with some strawberry in it.
So be creative when you'rebaking.
You know I did such a fun cake.
It's beautiful three layer cakeand I'll actually add that
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strawberry recipe to our websiteas well, the strawberry cake
recipe that I had and that Ifound that I adopted for gluten
free.
It was really, really good.
I actually can't wait to trythat one on its own, because it
was just so delicious and hadreal strawberries in it.
So be creative, have some funwith it, experiment with it, let
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your kids give you feedback.
I do this all the time.
I will make something, I'llexperiment with them, make
something new gluten-free, and Iwill get their feedback.
I'm like how do you like this?
What do you think we shouldchange?
What tastes good about it?
What tastes bad about it?
And they help me develop thesemodified recipes to really make
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their life more enjoyable, bemore normal and just have a good
time.
So don't be afraid to experiment, and sometimes I've failed
before.
There's this one time that Imade gluten-free pumpkin bread
and I didn't fail from agluten-free perspective.
I forgot to put the sugar in,so it didn't rise.
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So you know even me who hasbeen, you know, a veteran at
cooking gluten-free and bakingfor a long time now.
I even failed a couple yearsago on making pumpkin bread and
completely forgot the sugar init and it was just this hard
brick of kind of pumpkin-y thing.
And so have fun.
That's the whole goal here isjust to have fun.
(13:16):
So we want to make surebirthdays are fun.
They can still be fun even whenthey're gluten-free.
Prep ahead when needed.
Have a freezer stash if that'shelpful.
Make sure you're coordinatingwith teachers.
Replicate the treats thatthey're going to get at parties
when possible, because kids donotice the visual difference.
So replicate it when you canand involve your child.
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Help them feel confident andcomfortable and not restricted,
and you don't have to apologizefor keeping your child safe.
Just be kind and courteous andmany will really understand.
Thank you for listening to thisepisode of the gluten-free
engineer.
If you found value in thisstory, please share it with
someone who might needencouragement on their own
(13:57):
gluten-free journey.
For more tips, recipes,resources and even links to my
YouTube channel, head on over totheglutenfreeengineercom.
It's your one-stop hub to makegluten-free living simple, fun
and full of flavor.
And don't forget to subscribeso you never miss out on an
episode, and we will see younext week.
(14:18):
The Gluten-Free Engineerpodcast is for informational and
entertainment purposes only.
I share my personal experiencesand stories about living with
celiac disease and navigating agluten-free lifestyle.
This podcast does not providemedical advice.
Always consult with a qualifiedhealthcare professional for
medical questions, concerns oradvice specific to your health.