GoalLess: A Soccer Show
GoalLess is a podcast that highlights the passion, personalities, and pitch drama that make soccer beautiful ... and hilarious. Each week, the hosts kick around the biggest stories from The Champions League, featuring analysis, laughs, and great guests. What's the goal? You tell us! Brought to you by SmartLess Media, Meadowlark, with Paramount+
Episodes
June 3, 2025 • 44 mins
On this season finale of GoalLess... the guys discuss PSG's dismantling of Inter Milan in the Champions League final and whether or not Manchester United vs Tottenham was the worst European final of all time. Also, a look back at some of this season's best bits and our way too early 2025-26 predictions. Thanks for listening this season, see you all this fall! And always remember, of all the unimportant things in life, football is t...
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May 13, 2025 • 56 mins
On this episode of GoalLess… the guys try to figure out if Barcelona vs Inter was the best ever Champions League semi-final and look ahead to PSG vs Inter. Plus, Witty rants on if Tottenham or Manchester United can argue that they’ve had a better season than Arsenal, Leeds are marching on to the Premier League, and Trent Alexander Arnold gets boo’d in what could be his final (home) appearance at Anfield.
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April 21, 2025 • 53 mins
On this episode of Goalless... Manchester United's epic game against Lyon in Europa League. Meanwhile, the Champions League semifinals are set after a wild day in Birmingham and a calm one in Madrid. Plus, the guys try and figure out if it's a Ray Hudsonism or a Kama Sutra position.
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April 10, 2025 • 58 mins
On this episode of Goalless… Declan Rice and Arsenal with their biggest win of the decade, is Harry Kane overweight? Barcelona score 4 and PSG top Aston Villa in Paris. Plus, Liverpool, 2019 title winners vs 2025 (soon to be) title winners and the guys dive into why players flourish once they leave Manchester United.
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April 3, 2025 • 46 mins
On this jam packed episode of Goalless… The guys ponder if OnlyFans can fix Barcelona’s financial issues, Liverpool get Merseyside Derby revenge, Arsenal loses Gabriel for the season, Aston Villa’s magical run, and a curious case of recurring injuries for Neymar. Plus, another round of club or country and so much more. Tap in!
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March 27, 2025 • 46 mins
On this episode of Goalless… Trent Alexander Arnold is (reportedly) heading to Real Madrid, the guys react to a disastrous weekend for US Soccer, and look at some of the best moments in FA Cup upset history. Plus, Eli Lesser joins to talk promotion and relegation coming to America, his LA Galaxy origins, and the best away trips in MLS.
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March 20, 2025 • 51 mins
On this episode of Goalless… Lions and tigers and bears, oh my! The Carabao Cup final saw Newcastle lift their first trophy in 56 years, the race for top 5 is heating up, and could there be 11 English teams playing in Europe next season? Plus, the magisterial Ray Hudson joins us to talk about some of his best ever goal calls, his love of Newcastle, and working with Witty.
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March 13, 2025 • 54 mins
On this episode of Goalless… the Champions League quarterfinals are set. Alvarez’s double kick, Liverpool’s exit, Lamine Yamal’s brilliance, and does Manchester United’s newly proposed 2.6 billion dollar stadium look like an infected nipple? Plus, Rebecca Lowe joins to talk Crystal Palace’s FA Cup run, her time on Ted Lasso, walking to school with Peter Crouch, and more!
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March 7, 2025 • 50 mins
On this episode of Goalless… We’re onto the Champions League knockout stage, a “what if” starting 11, and a crazy injury in Germany. Plus, actor and comedian Jon Glaser joins us to talk about how FIFA made him a wolves fan, World Cup 94, the world’s best kits, Detroit City FC and finally, The Diet Mug Root Beer Dana Carvey Show.
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February 27, 2025 • 53 mins
On this episode of GoalLess… a busy weekend in the Premier League, Manchester United’s cost cutting measures, a quick look ahead to next week’s Champions League, and the guys relive some hilarious drunken sports moments. Plus, comedian and actor Arturo Castro joins to talk about Guatemala, Bayern Munich, Messi, and watching PSG Barcelona in between takes of Narcos.
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February 21, 2025 • 48 mins
On this episode of Goalless… A round up of the Champions League knockout stage, predictions for the round of 16, Villa 2 Liverpool 2, and Rafael Toloi literally and figuratively sees red. Plus, Kieran Morris joins us to tell us the story of the Honduran Maradona and his history of pranking Sky Sports.
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February 13, 2025 • 50 mins
On this episode of GoalLess… Man City vs Real Madrid, an amazing atmosphere at Celtic Park, and a Merseyside Derby for the ages. Plus Rhys Darby joins us to talk about his mom as a manager, Next Goal Wins, and we discover a new way to do the news.
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February 6, 2025 • 59 mins
On this episode of GoalLess... the huge Man City v Arsenal match, Forrest nets a touchdown, a transfer window wrap up, the rise of the Saudi league, and a little Rihanna. Plus, sports media mogul and former President of ESPN John Skipper joins us to talk about how English lit made him a Tottenham fan, his dealings with FIFA, and so much more.
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January 30, 2025 • 49 mins
On today’s GoalLess… a quick rundown of a WILD day of Champions League with all 18 games kicking off simultaneously, another round of club or country, Man City’s big win vs Chelsea, the worst debuts ever, and should Ange stay or go at Tottenham?
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January 23, 2025 • 50 mins
On this episode of GoalLess… the Lazio falconer scandal, a huge round of Champions League matches including the brilliant Benfica - Barcelona game, a wild week at Manchester City, and Christian Polanco of The Cooligans joins us to get reminded that all of Everton’s ex’s are thriving. Plus, are Manchester United and Tottenham in a relegation battle? Tap in!
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January 16, 2025 • 58 mins
On this episode of GoalLess… we’re back from break! Witty and Russell hit the ground running by talking about all the things we missed over the last few weeks. Elon Musk to buy Liverpool? How can Man City fix their run of poor results? Plus, the viral Adam Armstrong video, Russ has a new special “Live at the London Palladium” out, and we play a new game called Club or Country (Band).
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January 2, 2025 • 59 mins
On this episode of GoalLess... David Silva, Dunkirk, and Nut Shots. And that’s just in the first 7 minutes! We hung with John Oliver for an hour of fun to talk Accrington Stanley (who are they?!?), Bruno Fernandes, Virgil Van Dyke’s love of The Lion King, and plenty more.
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December 26, 2024 • 53 mins
On this episode of GoalLess… the host of SmartLess, and our boss, Will Arnett joins the show to discuss his passion football. The guys talk about Liverpool, Canada, swimming pool baptisms, sing some songs, and plenty more.
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December 19, 2024 • 49 mins
On this episode of GoalLess… it’s the final episode of 2024! The guys discuss the best derby’s in the world, UVM’s national championship, and ponder just how low can Man City actually go? Plus, we talk to former US U17 National Team Coach Richie Williams and dive into the new Paramount+ docuseries PULISIC.
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December 12, 2024 • 16 mins
On this episode of GoalLess… an action packed few days of Champions League, we play another round of Two Brazilians and a Lie, plus the final Witty’s Wonderkid. Tap in!
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