Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:22):
Hello and welcome
back to In the Passenger Seat
with your positivity queen,alethea crimmons.
Okay, what we are going to talkabout today is what a lot of us
have issues with, includingmyself.
I struggle with this.
We're going to talk abouttaking control of your own life,
(00:44):
believing in yourself andsteering your own life toward
success.
Ah, steering in the passengerseat, okay.
So listen, this is a journey ofself-belief.
What does it take to get there?
How do you believe in yourselfwhen self-doubt creeps in?
(01:09):
How do you get that unshakableconfidence that pushes you
forward, that makes you say,okay, I am everything and
everything is me.
It does not matter what anybodysays about me.
I have a goal and I'm going todo it.
Baby, you got to stick with mebecause I will get you right by
(01:29):
the end of this episode.
You'll have real steps.
You'll know exactly what to doso you can know that you are the
shit, the whole shit, andnothing but the what.
Starting today?
Okay, starting today.
Listen, first, we have tounderstand what self-belief is.
(01:49):
What is that?
What does that look like?
Does that mean that I'm beingarrogant?
No, it's not.
It's about trusting who you are, despite what challenges come
your way.
Trusting who you are, despitewho says this about you, despite
(02:12):
what people think about you,despite if people say that it's
too late for you to achieve yourgoal.
It's never too late.
It's never too late.
Success has no timeline.
But what we also have tounderstand is success is not an
(02:35):
elevator.
We got to take the staircaseand sometimes that staircase is
windy, Sometimes it's narrow,sometimes those stairs are
rickety.
It takes some time and it takesa lot of work, but are we
willing to do the work?
Are we willing to trust thisprocess and know that we are
(02:58):
going to do it?
We're going to do it and listen.
Everything is a step.
Everything in this process ofbelieving in yourself is a step,
and we have to celebrate everysingle win that we have.
(03:19):
This is something that I had todo Recognize your wins and
celebrate your wins, even ifit's small.
Right now I'm on my weight lossjourney and I went to the
doctor today and usually theyhave to use the big cuff to
(03:40):
check my blood pressure becausethe regular cuff would not fit.
But today, baby, who used aregular blood pressure cuff is
me.
Is me, because I've lost enoughweight to do so.
So who used a regular cuff isme, baby.
It may not be a lot to otherpeople, but it was a lot to me.
(04:03):
So I had to celebrate that smallvictory that I had and write it
down.
Write it down so at the end ofthe day, you can see all of the
small victories that you had.
At the end of the week, you cansee all the victories that you
(04:25):
had and you can clap.
Listen, yes, honey, you can beso proud of yourself, of what
you have accomplished.
Success is success.
It does not matter how small itis.
You can accomplish it.
You can do hard things.
(04:46):
You can do hard things.
There are negative voices in ourheads all the time that tell us
what we can and cannot do.
You have to challenge thosenegative voices.
Challenge them.
Listen, you don't know how manytimes I had to sit myself down
and be like uh-uh, girl, whatare you talking about?
(05:08):
Yes, we can, I am not.
You know how those little kidsdo La, la, la, la, la, la, la la
.
Sometimes you have to sityourself down and talk to
yourself, because when yournegative voice tells you what
you cannot do, uh-uh, baby, I'mnot listening to you.
Today, I am looking at myselfand I am telling myself.
(05:30):
Yes, I am good enough.
Yes, I am worthy enough.
Yes, I am valuable enough.
We have goals in our life thatwe want to achieve.
How dare us tell ourselves thatwe can't do it?
How dare you tell yourself thatyou are not good enough?
How dare you tell yourself thatyou are not valuable enough?
(05:52):
Because here is the truth, thatnegative voice in your head
that is telling you all thisnonsense.
They a liar.
They are a big fat, bald-headed, bold-faced liar, and I'm going
to tell them that voice is aliar.
(06:13):
You need to tell yourself whoyou are.
The world puts us down enough.
The world tells us what wecannot do enough.
We do not need to add to that.
Do not continue to tellyourself lies, because that's
what that negative voice is itis a liar.
(06:36):
So we have to reframe ourthoughts.
We have to change our mindset.
We have to change the narrativeabout who we are and what we
are.
We have to change the way thatwe speak about ourselves and to
ourselves, because we are thefirst people to hear the things
that come out of our mouths.
Right, right, you hear it first.
(06:58):
You hear it first becausesometimes we are our worst
critic.
We get in our way more thananybody else.
So, instead of saying I can't dothis, you will tell yourself
I'm going to do this, I am goingto, and then you go out there
and do it.
It's one step above saying Ican, because when you say I'm
(07:22):
going to, that means that youwill take action.
It's a step above saying I cando it.
Now you're telling yourself notonly can I do it, but I'm going
to and I'm going to take theaction, the steps to do it.
Listen, I am a person thatbelieves that, no matter how far
(07:52):
you've come, no matter whatyou've been through, no matter
what people have said about you,no matter how old you are, you
can achieve what you set out toachieve.
If you have a goal, you can doit.
And the guest that I'm going tobring on, listen, I tried so
(08:12):
hard not to fangirl when shefirst got into the look.
Listen, when she hopped intothe passenger seat, y'all.
I tried so hard not to fangirl.
I tried to be cool Like mm-hmm,because she is one of my
favorite actresses and I knowthat y'all know who she is.
The list of movies and seriesLook, when they sent me her bio,
(08:37):
I was like ain't, no way I canlist all this, ain't no way.
She has been acting for overthree decades Three but she set
out to do exactly what she isdoing now.
Her latest is she played Lilith, which all I love in Netflix
(09:02):
series Sabrina, and she alsoplayed Miranda Croft in the HBO
Max series, the Flight Attendant.
Y'all if y'all do not know whoshe is, by the end of this
episode you will know exactlywho she is.
(09:22):
Can you please welcome to thepassenger seat.
I'm so excited, michelle Gomez,oh my God, hello.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Hi, very lovely
introduction.
Oh, my God, it's so lovely tomeet you, gosh.
Speaker 1 (09:44):
Jeez, it's so great
to meet you as well.
For anybody who does not knowwho you are which I cannot
imagine that that is the case,like I really cannot imagine
that that is the case Can youplease introduce yourself and
tell everybody what you do?
Speaker 2 (10:06):
Well, I'm an actor
and I've been doing it for
forever.
I call myself an actor.
I guess, like in Britain, wecall ourselves actors.
But yes, I'm an actress andI've had the great luck and
pleasure of being able to dothat for the last I don't know,
like 30 years.
(10:26):
So yeah, I'm still learning.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
How did you get
started?
Because I remember you saidthat as a little girl.
Like you said is what I want todo.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
Honestly, I can't
remember wanting to be anything
else really, and I was inGlasgow in Scotland, and it just
seemed like a really out theredream.
I went to the school counsellorfor the careers officer and
told them I wanted to be anactress and they were like, well
(11:05):
, you know, it's all about umstaying in your box right and um
not dreaming too big, you know,because um, um, that's that
doesn't really lead to anythingbut um disappointment and
heartache.
And so, you know, maybe Ishould think about being a
secretary.
And uh, I was like, oh, I don'tthink I want to do that.
(11:30):
And um, so then I applied fordrama school and they wouldn't
let me in.
And then I applied again, and Ithink the second, maybe the
third time they let me in and umthat they said, uh, this back
then was called the RoyalScottish Academy of Music and
Drama and today it's called the?
Um, the Conservatoire.
And um, they said, well, wedon't really think that you're
(11:54):
acting material, but we thinkyou make a great teacher.
So we have a new course.
If you'd like to do a Bachelorof Arts honours degree in
teaching, and uh, maybe youshould try that.
And I was like, okay, so I didthat and I was a teacher for
like five minutes, literally.
I mean, I qualified, I taughtfor at a school for literally
(12:15):
five minutes and I was like no,I can't do this.
And, um, I did like a play forEdinburgh in the Edinburgh
Fringe Festival and we won theFringe first, which in Scotland
that's like a big deal, and thatwas it.
I never looked back.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
So what I'm hearing
you say is first of all, they
tried to put you in a box andyou said no, look, look, forget
your box because you're notabout to have me in no damn box,
because I know what I want todo.
(12:53):
Then, when you tried to do that, they told you no and told you
that you were not actingmaterial, then again tried to
make you do something that theythought that you should do y'all
.
How many times have you wantedto pursue something but they
(13:17):
were like we don't think thatyou good enough, like we don't
think that this is right for you, so why don't you do this?
Speaker 2 (13:24):
That's still putting
you in a box.
Well, yeah, I mean it was likecoming from Scotland and, like
you know, my name is Gomez and Ihave crazy hair.
I have five heads of hair on myhead.
I have no ass, no lips, justGod just kept giving me Away,
away, away.
I'm going to take some of itout.
(13:44):
I'm going gonna take some of itout.
I'm gonna take some of thisshit out.
It's like stuffing out of acouch.
And my dad was from antigua, inthe caribbean and, um, I don't
know, like something, I gotsomething.
I got something going on hereanyway, um, so my hair was
always just like a thing right,and they didn't know what to do
with it.
My grandmother came over fromantigua and she taught me how to
braid it and then I startedrelaxing it when I was like 14.
(14:09):
And I was just like this skinnylittle white girl, you know,
with like this huge, like kindof fro on my head, and I've
spent my whole life trying tohave like European hair, like
normal hair.
My hair moves in one piece,like one piece right, and it
does.
I always wanted to like flick it, you know, and anyway, so, um,
(14:32):
so that, and, being Scottish andyou know, coming down to London
and not being like a kind ofingenue, not like having like a
little button nose and beinglike pale and you know I just I
couldn't get any work, like theydidn't know what to do with me,
because I was kind of likeSarah Bernhardt meets Angelica
Houston on speed and nobody knewwhat to do with that so how
(15:00):
many times has this been a thingwith us where we want to be
normal, we want to be likeeverybody else, because we look
around and we don't see anybodythat looks like us.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
We don't see like, we
just see a certain type of
people, type of people andsociety tells us, yeah, that
this is what you should looklike.
If you want to do what you setout to do, then maybe you need
to be more like this, becauseyou being like that and then we
try to conform ourselves intowhat other people's expectations
(15:43):
are Like, we try to do our haira certain way, fix ourselves a
certain way.
Child, like listen, I now yousay it, now I got it all.
I got the big lips, the bignose, the hips, the thighs, the
ass.
That is how Listen, listen, godListen.
(16:05):
I was last in line Whenever Godwas giving everybody body parts
, I was last.
And God said here, take well,we got all this left over, here
you go.
And I was like the fuck, likewhat?
Well, thank God, because Iguess he thought that I could
(16:32):
handle it.
But I was like well, damn Right, you're right Girl.
Speaker 2 (16:40):
Wait, I'm going to
show you something Because, like
I'm going to put this down, Imight just do this.
So I'm going to put this down,I might just do this, so I never
, ever do this.
But this, if I'm not working, Idon't have it blown out or have
it keratined or whatever it,just this is relaxed.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
Girl, this is relaxed
Girl.
This is like tamed Tamed but doyou realize how many people
wish that they had thick hairlike that, like, do you know?
Speaker 2 (17:22):
I, I I mean I've had,
I've had people trying, I've
had like hairdressers likegetting like a comb stuck in and
then just had somebody liketrimming it and then they ended
up like shaving the wholefucking head.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
This hair is like
like you know, like it's a thing
, like it's not normal trust youare preaching to the choir,
because at one point, before Icut my hair, it was like and
(17:57):
especially for me, like theywould tell me that, oh well, you
, in order to do what you wantto do in life, you have to look
a certain type of way.
Like you can't have your hairlike, like this, because
everybody else around youdoesn't.
You might want to lose someweight Because everybody else
(18:19):
around you is a certain size andyou're not that.
So it's like what do you dowith that?
How do you overcome that?
Because now, because so manypeople are telling you this is
what you should be, this is howyou should act, this is how you
should look, it starts to get inyour head and it fucks with you
(18:41):
mentally.
So now you start tellingyourself I'm not good enough, I
need to change who I am, I don'thave value because I don't look
like this.
Right?
So, michelle, like, how did youovercome, oh, all of this?
Speaker 2 (19:02):
you are now.
I like lean into it, like ifyou, if, and embrace it, like,
okay, can't.
If.
You can't like, if you can'tlike we're given what we're
given, right, yes, can't likechange it, then accept it.
Yes, if you can't accept it,then do something towards um,
(19:26):
you know, um, just a softer,gentler self, and I was
listening to your intro aboutthe negative voice in your head.
Yes and um, and I, and everybodyhas one right, and and I have
this thing where I wake up inthe morning at the crack of doom
and I'm like, oh, and it's justlike it's already started.
(19:52):
I haven't even opened my eyesand she started right.
So years ago I gave her a name.
Yes, give her a name because itmakes me laugh.
This name makes me laugh andI've come to love my negative
voice now and I have compassionfor my negative voice, because I
used to try and like shut it upor, you know, or be quiet or
(20:13):
whatever.
And now, yeah, same, now it'sanyway.
So I called her Barbara, right,and I'm like Babs, I haven't
even opened my eyes.
Just a minute, I'll be with youin a minute.
I'm just going to brush myteeth and I just like to get up
and then I just like, just thename just makes me smile.
It's like control of it, ittakes I have power over it, and
(20:39):
it means like I'm not like more.
I mean mourning the crack ofdoom sounds really funny, but I
think a lot of people wake upanxious and wake up like you
know, what am I going to do withmy day?
Or what am I?
Or I've not done enough, orwhatever it is.
There there's so much judgmentand so if you can have a way to,
(21:00):
when I say, change it or acceptit, my changing is to just have
a gentler relationship withthat voice, because that voice
is me, it's part of me, it is,and so to find compassion, just
(21:21):
like I'm pouring compassion allover it.
It takes the power out of it andit means that you are learning
to love a part of yourself thatis telling you that you're not
all that, and that part ofyourself is the part of yourself
that needs so much love andcompassion, that little, tiny
(21:43):
voice that's really like thebully in school that doesn't get
enough.
Yes, yes, you know, just pourlove all over it, you know?
And and give it a name.
So babs I, I'm, babs I, I.
Sometimes I'm like to pull overBob's if you don't shut the
fuck up.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
Like, listen, you
have like this.
This is exactly how I starteddoing what, what, what I do?
Because I have conversationswith myself all the time, like I
talk to myself and I answermyself we listen and we don't
judge.
So shut up, because this, this,this is my show, okay, so, yeah
(22:24):
, so we, we listen and we don'tjudge.
But I will have a conversationwith myself.
And that's how I started doingthis, because when I look at the
camera, I'm looking at myselfand it's me telling myself that
I'm not good enough.
It's me telling myself that I'mtoo this, I'm too that, and so
(22:50):
I had to look at myself, becauseit wasn't enough for me to just
say it.
I had to look at myself and belike, okay, bitch, yeah, listen,
not to fucking date.
Like we are not doing thatbecause you know who you are.
Stop letting these people, stoptelling yourself what you can't
(23:13):
do, bitch, you can do it.
Now say it, say I can do it, soI'm.
So I'm talking to y'all, butI'm also talking to my negative
voice that creeps in and tellsme what I cannot do.
So I'm I'm talking to y'all,but I'm actually having a
(23:33):
conversation with myself, livein real time, because so y'all
basically see, see me like, havea like mental breakdown daily,
and but what y'all do not see issometimes, as soon as I press
(23:53):
stop, I'm like, yeah, because, Ineeded to hear that too.
Speaker 2 (24:00):
This is a real
version of therapy that started
for you, right?
Yes, and it's cathartic, andand you have found a way to talk
to yourself and harness thatpower and now, like share it
with everybody.
I mean, when you popped up onmy feed, I was like who the fuck
is this?
Come here.
(24:22):
I was like, okay, right, I'mhere, you know, and, and so you
are one powerful bit, and youknow that is the best compliment
ever but you know, like ifyou're getting my attention,
that means you're getting.
You know, you're getting yourown attention and you're and
(24:42):
you're making it powerful andyou're and you're actually, and
then you're sharing it, you know, and it's infectious, it's
really infectious, and that wasthe hardest thing is sharing it,
because you don't know whattype of feedback you're going to
get.
Speaker 1 (25:02):
And I'm sure that you
felt the same way when you were
like, look, I am going toreclaim my power and I'm going
to do exactly what I said.
I'm going to do, I'm going tobe an actress.
And when you put yourself outthere, I know you were like what
(25:23):
the fuck am I doing?
What are they going to say?
Would they like me In all of myhead?
Speaker 2 (25:31):
The other thing is we
all have to learn how to fit
into the picture Right.
What is my part of the puzzle,like what do I bring to the
party?
You know, like that, like I'veturned up, what can I get right?
You know, I think that's whathappens with a lot of actors,
like you go for additions, like,well, I want the part.
(25:52):
So you know, instead of youknow what, what this might be a
nice little acting exercise.
It will feel fun just to be ontape for like 10 minutes or
whatever.
And you know, maybe I can helpyou, maybe I'm bringing you a
gift, maybe I'm solving yourcasting and coming with that
energy is a lot more attractivethan gimme.
(26:16):
You know, and I apply that toevery situation, if I'm going to
a party and I'm a littlenervous, or I've got some
professional event or whateverit is and I'm a bit like I don't
want to go switch my it's anattitude adjustment or how can I
be helpful?
Like I'm going to go to a partyand I'm going to find a sad
(26:39):
sack in the corner who, likedoes not look like they're
having a good time, I'm going towalk right up to them and go hi
, because that sad sack in thecorner is pretending me.
I'm just like, quite good atpretending.
So you know, finding ways ofdoing service and being helpful
(27:03):
to others takes me out of my ownhead in this neighborhood
between here and here, left onmy own.
It's not a great neighborhoodto be on my own in this head.
So you know, if I can get outof my head and into other people
and what they might need, thenI don't have to think of myself
anymore because it's exhausting.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
I feel like you and I
must be related in some type of
way, be related in some type ofway.
You and I are related because Iswear it's like I want.
(27:48):
I wanted to be for other peoplewhat nobody was for me, like I.
I wanted to go out there andfind other people that were like
me or that I saw myself in andbe like okay, well, let me help
you.
Let me help you so that I don'thave to focus on it.
Let me help you because I seeso much of myself in you.
(28:11):
Let me help you so that youcould be more like this and and
it's, it's really like therapyhelping me?
Speaker 2 (28:22):
helping you is giving
me a break from me.
Oh, helping you is likerelieving me of the bondage of
self of self.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
Oh, helping you is
relieving me of the bondage of
self.
Speaker 2 (28:45):
Can you go into that
just a little bit more?
The bondage of self is whenyou're just, you know you're so
full of your own fears andself-loathing and self-dou and
um, you know you start.
Listen, we have a picker, wecan choose which channel we tune
into negative channels, reallyseductive and you're, before you
(29:10):
know it, you're off down thisfucking path and you're about to
have a really shitty day.
And so if I can relieve, havethis relief of the bondage of
self, it means I get a breakfrom my inner negative cycle of
(29:30):
thinking that doesn't reallybring me anything but misery.
Like misery is a choice, and assoon as I recognize that voice,
barbara.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
Can we pause just a
little bit?
Iggy, I don't know if he's.
You see how it like keepscutting in and out yeah, go talk
again, michelle yeah, like wecan't.
Speaker 3 (30:07):
I think the sound
kind of switched back.
Is your car still off and it'sstill connected?
Speaker 1 (30:13):
car's still off, yeah
okay.
Speaker 3 (30:14):
So this is, I think,
what it is.
If the sound is coming fromyour phone, maybe, maybe you're
sitting uh, sitting on thespeaker, so it's okay if you
hold it.
I want you to be comfortabletoo yes um, so whatever,
whatever makes you morecomfortable.
Uh, with the phone is fine.
Speaker 1 (30:32):
Yeah, like you, you
can you can like whatever is is
good for you, like if it's, ifit's fine, yeah, like you, you
can, you can like whatever is isgood for, yeah, you like if
it's, if it's better.
If you hold it, then hold it,okay, yeah, because, because
because now you, you, you'relike coming in crystal, crystal
clear, great, okay, yes, okay.
(30:53):
So yeah, because I, you are girl, you are I wish you were here
like like okay, so this cannotbe the like last time that we do
this, okay, so let's jump backon the bondage of self right.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
So yeah, so when I
say relieve me of the bondage of
self, it's like we getourselves literally like so tied
up in knots right with ournegative thinking and and it's
all self, self, self, it'sself-doubt, self-loathing, low
self-esteem, just like all thatall the s's right and and it's
like it's like we're kind of wesuffocate, like we.
(31:37):
It was like we're being chokedon weeds, right, and the way I
can get out of that is to dosomething for someone else, is
to literally pick up the phoneand go hi, how are you?
And if they ask me how I am,I'm like I'm great, but what are
you up to?
I want to hear where you're at.
(31:57):
I'm great, but what are you upto?
I want to hear where you're at,because that gives me relief
from this head of bullshit.
Or, or I'll do something forsomebody, or I'll literally just
like walk around the block, orI'll.
(32:18):
So it's.
I have lots of little tricksthat I do to relieve me of the
bondage of self, because I'm atthe grand old age of whatever I
am now and uh, and I won'ttolerate it anymore.
Like I'm, I'm.
I'm like I did not.
I was not brought into thisworld to be miserable right, did
you?
Speaker 1 (32:37):
that is for somebody
who is listening right now.
You were not brought into thisworld to be miserable.
So what tunnel are you going togo down?
You have a choice and, justlike Michelle said, that
(32:57):
negative thought tunnel is veryseductive because it looks easy.
It's so easy to go down thatroad and the other road of
self-confidence, self-lovingyourself, self-healing it looks
hard, like it is a lot ofhurdles.
(33:19):
It's a lot of things that yougot to do, because it takes work
.
It takes action becauseconfidence comes from doing.
It takes action and sometimeswe don't want to work that hard.
Let's just be honest.
We don't want to work that hard.
But a lot of people always askme how did I get so confident in
(33:41):
myself?
I had to take action, becauseconfidence comes from doing.
Speaker 2 (33:47):
Self-belief grows
when you take action, even when
it's hard, even when it's scary,because I know that it was
scary for you, michelle Alicialike you use the word confidence
, right, and I feel like thesedays the word confidence is kind
(34:08):
of given a bad rap, like it hasa sort of I don't know, like
it's.
There's a way of, there's a wayof existing that maybe it's my
industry, but anyway you weretalking about.
You know we do things forothers and it raises your
confidence, right.
Also, I like to think of themas this sounds really
(34:41):
pretentious.
But anyway, um, if you, if yousuffer from low self-esteem,
right, lack of confidence, therelieving of the bondage of self
thing, right, um, is gettinginto action, like like you
mentioned, and doing somethingfor somebody else and not
looking for any thanks.
I mean, this isn't like look atme, look how biased and great I
am.
No, it's not about that.
It's about esteemable acts,acts that actually boost your
(35:07):
esteem so that you know you, youdo start to walk with more
confidence.
It takes time, but it's like amuscle, like any other muscle
needs a little exercise.
Yes, you might not think it'sthere or it might have atrophied
, but it's there.
It just needs some exercise,literally, if, if all you
(35:31):
smiling at somebody in thestreet or my new trick is, I
love it.
I live in New York City andthis you know, the clothes and
the people and the blah and I'llbe like, killed it.
You look amazing or gorgeousand I can't help myself and they
just you just see somebodytaking themselves all seriously
because they're giving it allthat you know, and you just go
(35:53):
gorgeous, you know, and theyjust first start laughing and
they love it.
Speaker 1 (35:57):
Yes, yeah, like you
easy and and it it will
literally change some somebody'sday.
Because, yes, because you neverknow what somebody is going
through like they they mighthave got.
Because several times I've puton clothes and, yeah, I liked it
(36:20):
, but I was kind of like, do Ilook okay today?
And then I'll go to the storeand somebody's like, oh girl,
you look good.
I'm just like, thank you, man.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (36:35):
I know it's nothing,
it's so, it's really.
It's the effort of it's nothing.
It's so it's really it's theeffort of it's nothing.
It's the bare minimum, but butit makes everybody smile.
It just makes somebody's dayand that has an effect on you.
You know.
That makes you feel good, youknow, so you start behaving
differently.
It's all negative and positiveeffect, so you start behaving
(36:58):
differently.
Speaker 1 (36:59):
It's all negative and
positive effect.
It really does.
And we have to do this.
We have to take action and dothis and believe in ourselves,
even when we're scared, evenwhen, when it's hard, even when
it's hard Right.
And you, being an actress, I'malmost positive that you had to,
(37:23):
like, you had to endure thingsand you it wasn't like, oh, I'm
going to do this first big role.
I'm sure that you were scaredas shit, oh yeah.
And that you were scared asshit, oh yeah.
And that you were nervous andyou still had the barber telling
(37:44):
you, girl, you might not begood enough for this, but no,
there's a thing.
Speaker 2 (37:52):
So I have a
15-year-old son and there's
nothing like having a kid to youknow, make you sort of grow up
right yourself.
Speaker 1 (38:00):
What facts.
Speaker 2 (38:02):
And, um, you know, I
have often said to to him
throughout his life, likewhenever he's scared or anxious
or nervous or anything, I'm likein a very consistent way, I've
always said to him you're okay,you're okay, Like, no matter
what happens today, like, nomatter what the outcome is,
whether, you know, it's an examor a game or whatever it is
(38:23):
right, whatever it is, you'reokay, you're going to be able to
deal with whatever the outcomeis, you're okay.
And I said that to him for 15years and about a year ago
something happened and you knowI'm, you know I've tried to like
be a real parent to him, likeI've tried to.
(38:44):
I keep my emotions in check,I'm the adult, you know.
But at times you know, you, you, that you can betray yourself,
right, and of course, he's mykid and he knows me well, and I
was dropping him off at thistrip and I was like I knew I
wasn't going to see him for along time and I was being all
sort of brave on his behalf,right, and he put his hands on
(39:05):
my shoulders and he said, mum,you're OK, oh, and then, and
then he ran off and he didn'tlook back and I just went
because, like, sometimes, we arethe ones that give and give and
(39:30):
give and pour and pour and poor, and when somebody gives you
that same thing back to you,it's just like yes, I was like
yes, it was like yes, I am agood mama, yes, yes, yes, I am.
Speaker 1 (39:51):
Whatever doubt I had,
he just proved me wrong.
Like I, I am the best mom inthe fucking world.
Speaker 2 (39:59):
Thank you, you're
welcome okay, yeah, yeah, that
felt it felt good, right, I mean, it was just so again, it's you
know, being able to like.
You know, there's this thing Iwas taught like when I had him.
I was in LA so it was all greatsort of um, chingity, bong,
bong, and I'm not, but um, therewas this thing you know about,
(40:21):
like trying to get him sleep,trained, right, and there was a
big chapter about self-soothingand I've never, never heard of
such a thing before.
I'm like I've neverself-soothed in my life.
Like what, what does that mean?
And now I'm like I kind of knowwhat it is now, like I know I
(40:43):
can be like whatever this thingis that actually?
Because work still terrifies me,like I still get nervous and
scared, but I'm able to, likewalk through the fear.
I'm not going to let the fearstop me from doing it.
No, I mean, I will beabsolutely shitting myself and I
want to just go home and get inthe bed and just watch Seinfeld
(41:05):
, like that's really what I wantto do, right, but um, but I
don't, because I know what's onthe other side is like
mind-blowingly affirming becauseI'm like, fuck, I did that.
Like whatever it is, yes, wow,and that's what life is.
For life is a series of okay,can you do this like?
(41:27):
Try, try this hurdle.
It's kind of high, it's kind ofscary.
You've never ridden before, butonce you get to the other side.
Get to the other side becauseit's like okay, I really did not
, we do not know how brave weare or how strong we are.
Like we don't give ourselvesthat credit.
We really don't.
Speaker 1 (41:49):
And we really don't.
And this brings us to.
So I ask my followers and mylisteners this is the Ask
Alethea segment, where they sendme questions or situations and
we answer them.
(42:10):
So this is from Camalada896 andthey said I underestimate
myself a lot.
This shit is stuck in my headthat others are way better than
me.
Speaker 2 (42:31):
That sounds like
she's got a bad piece of the
Barbaras.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:46):
You know she's got a
bad piece of the barbara's.
Yeah, you know that is negativeself-talk, if I've ever heard
it like that.
You think who told you thatother people are better than you
?
You did, that's right.
Nobody else is telling you that.
Everybody else's journey is notyours.
Everybody else's walk is notyours.
(43:08):
Everybody is going to lookdifferent.
So what if they finish thatrace before you?
Did you finish?
Yeah, did you finish?
Yeah, did you finish.
It doesn't matter who finishesfirst.
It's the fact that you stillachieved what you set out to
(43:28):
achieve.
You do not have to compareyourself to anybody else,
because everybody's walk isdifferent.
Some people walk in heels.
Bitch, bitch, I will fall on myface.
I can't walk in in heels.
Give me some tennis shoes orsome sandals, but that does not
(43:48):
make them better than me,because they're in heels and I'm
not the comparing thing is likethis this is for your listener.
Speaker 2 (43:59):
This is a really good
one.
Um, to compare is to despair oh, elaborate you compare yourself
to someone else, you're justgoing to be despairing.
You could you know there'salways going to be somebody
better than you.
So you know, and and and.
The other thing is, is thatactually this is really brutal
(44:19):
and it might sting, but at theend of the day, nobody's
thinking about you, do you knowwhy?
Speaker 1 (44:26):
because we're all
thinking about ourselves thanks,
like because, yeah, I Irealized that when I put on my
first bathing suit I was scared.
I was like I'm not even, I'mnot going on the beach, I'm
going to wear some jogging pants.
And my wife was like you lookdumb as hell.
(44:50):
She was like listen, I'mtelling you don't nobody give a
damn about you.
Everybody is on the beach tohave a good time.
And so what if they're lookingat you?
So what, fuck them people andgo have a good time.
And when I walked, like I wasso nervous.
(45:14):
But when I walked out to thebeach beach, she was absolutely
right, ain't nobody care aboutme?
Like they was too busy enjoyingthemselves to worry about what
I had going on and the very fewpeople that were, it was like
(45:34):
whatever, I was more worriedabout me than other people.
You are more worried about youthan other people are worried
about you.
Get out of your head.
Tell, tell barbara, go sit down.
Yeah, go find a friend go sitdown, barbara.
Speaker 2 (45:55):
Go on, barbara.
Ice cream, ice cream carts overthere, go on, fill your boots
Away.
You go, bye-bye.
I love you, but bye, I love you.
Speaker 1 (46:10):
Now see, I like that
shit.
Barbara said stop talking to melike that shit.
Barbara said stop talking to melike that.
You can't fix your hair.
All these people Stop it.
Barbara said stop it Shit.
So what was your favorite role,your favorite role that you
(46:37):
played?
You probably like bitch.
What?
Speaker 2 (46:41):
I mean they're,
they're all so different.
Uh, um, I honestly this soundsI never, ever, ever, ever.
But I was kind of feral in my20s and I, I just never believed
I would ever be a mum.
My favorite role is motherhoodand I'm that sounds so cranky,
but I can't choose likeprofessionally, like the highs,
(47:04):
the highlights for me, um,there's just, there's too many
uh to choose from.
Um, I've been super blessed,but, um, yeah, I just, I love, I
love that I got to be a mum.
I was a a late mum, I was anold mum, but I got one out and
he's amazing, I love it.
I love it Because I was toldthat Dr Dickinson Cowan, dr
(47:29):
Dickinson Cowan, and he said,but you can call me Dick.
And I went, I will, becausehe's like you are barren,
there's nothing happening there,literally, literally, seriously
.
He said you're very lucky, youhave the love of a good man.
You should go and buy yourselfa cat and have a lovely lunch.
So I went not dick.
(47:50):
I got not.
Dick, not dick.
Listen to me and, uh, you justtell me no and I'll be like I
don't think.
So I got one out.
I wish I had 10.
Speaker 1 (48:03):
I got one gosh, if
that is not the like universe
saying you can do whatever thefuck you want to do, okay, he
said there's just dust in there,like there might be one egg in
there.
Speaker 2 (48:17):
There's nothing in
there.
Now dick, now dick.
Speaker 1 (48:20):
Now, dick, now you
know better than to tell a bad
bitch some shit like that,because if you tell a bad bitch
what she can't do, she's goingto find a way to do it.
Oh, my name.
Dick said no, she Dick said no.
(48:41):
Dick said yay, michelle wentand dusted those eggs off.
There's nothing wrong with thisone.
We'll call it Harry.
I got one.
One's all you need Really.
(49:01):
Oh my God, I love having you inthe passenger seat with me.
I simply adore it.
If anybody knows, wants to knowwhere to find you, where would
they go?
Give us all things, michelleGomez.
Speaker 2 (49:26):
Oh, I mean, yeah,
just look up Michelle Gomez and
pick a show.
I don't know, take your pick,it's all good, some of it's all
good, but most of it's good.
Speaker 1 (49:39):
Do you have any
future projects coming up soon?
Speaker 2 (49:44):
I do.
There's one thing that I'mdoing right now which apparently
I can't talk about becausethere's the old NDA.
But I'm having a blast and I'lltell you about it later.
But I am doing.
There's a thing called a show Idid called Green Wing, a long
time ago, and I'm actually goingto London, to South Bank, to do
a panel on that.
(50:04):
So I'll be in London Anybodywho wants to come and check in
on that.
That was actually one of myfavorite roles, that was a great
show, so I'm going to go anddive back into that.
I think there's talk of aremake, a rehash.
Speaker 1 (50:20):
So this means that
when you can't talk about your
new project, that you got tocome back and sit down with me
again, right, yeah, right, yes,yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, I would
love to meet you in person nexttime I am in New York.
Yes, I would.
Oh my god, I would love that.
(50:41):
Oh, so this is the segment ofthe show before I let you go,
called pass it on, where I needyou to pass on a positive
message.
Um, it can be a quote thatyou've heard, it can be
something that just comes fromyou.
(51:02):
It's just something that youwant to pass on to the next
person that is going to besitting in my passenger seat
next, or just anybody listening.
What message would you like topass on?
Speaker 2 (51:20):
Keep it simple.
Stupid Pretty much.
Speaker 1 (51:28):
Because the struggle
is only real if you make it real
.
So keep it simple.
The shit ain't gotta be thathard.
I love you, I fucking love you.
You're so cool, you're so good,I really this has been
wonderful.
This is why we have to meet inperson, like we have to, like
(51:52):
exchange info and all kinds ofstuff, because, oh my gosh, like
I freaking love you Like we'regood, we're good.
Yes, guys, I hope that you haveenjoyed this as much as I have,
as much as we have.
Look, I love having people inthe passenger seat with positive
(52:14):
messages, and baby Michelle didwhat she was supposed to do.
Speaker 2 (52:25):
Oh no, I think I'm
gone and here we are, and and
we're back.
Speaker 1 (52:33):
See, barbara needs to
stop playing with us, babs,
she's just a gremlin.
Speaker 2 (52:38):
Stop it, barbara,
yeah yeah, she knocked that
right out of my hand and thenshe put some sunglasses on.
Speaker 1 (52:45):
This is not your show
, barbara.
Babs, babs, babs, calm down,babs, get out out.
Oh my God, thank you, thank you.
Thank you for riding in thepassenger seat with me today.
Thank you, everybody forwatching.
(53:05):
If you like what you heard,pass it on, like, subscribe,
comment, tell a friend to tell afriend that you have been in
the passenger seat with AletheaCremins.
Listen, I would love to hearyour story.
I would love to hear from you.
So do not hesitate.
Email us on the show atpimpingpositivity at gmailcom.
(53:31):
We would love to hear from you.
Okay, now, as you go out thereand be great in they face, know
that we believe in you.
So go out there and believe inyourself, because not only can
you do it, you're going to do it.
(53:52):
Get those negative voices outof your head.
Tell them have a seat in theback, because they do not belong
in the front with you.
Keep being great in their face.
Remember that you areeverything and everything is you
.
You are the shit, the wholeshit, and nothing but the what.
Yeah, yeah, I did that shit.
(54:12):
Now, as you go out there and begreat in your own face,
remember how fabulous you areand, as always, you have a good
day on 5%.
You're welcome, you're welcome.