August 27, 2024 • 36 mins
We discuss the various things that women do that drive men absolutely crazy. From phones, to expectations, to social media interactions, to talking about past relationships, there is a whole spectrum of behaviors and actions that women are engaging in that men simply can't stand. Are you making some of these same mistakes, and if so, what can you do to recognize them and stop them? In this video, we delve deep into the specific behaviors that often lead to misunderstandings and frustration in relationships. We explore how certain habits can create tension and what you can do to foster better communication. Join us as we uncover these insights and provide you with practical tips to improve your relationship dynamics. You might be surprised to learn just how small changes can lead to a more harmonious connection with your partner!
The Balance of GrayGod, doubt, and proof walk into a podcast... it goes better than you’d expect!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
here's a question for you is marriage overrated?
Speaker 2 (00:09):
why aren't people getting married anymore?
Speaker 1 (00:11):
a new pew research poll found that two and five
young adults think marriage isan outdated tradition marriage
rates are at their lowest rightnow.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Is marriage really even worth it?
More than half of marriages endin divorce.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
If you get married, you have to be stuck with this
person for the rest of your life, right?
That's why you get married.
So that's why it's declining.
Why would you get married ifyou don't, if you want to have
just one partner?
Speaker 2 (00:35):
when you can have multiple Marriage is stupid.
Welcome to the Married AFpodcast, the self-proclaimed
greatest marriage andrelationship podcast in the
world.
My name is Matthew Powers.
Alongside my beautiful wife,monica, we are your hosts for
the show today, and we have aspecial guest with us who, if
you're watching on YouTube,you're going to love it.
(00:56):
He is crawling on the desk.
He's all over the place.
He won't want to leave thingsalone.
He is a new addition to ourfamily.
Rhodesian ridgeback, 12 weekold.
T'challa, t'challa, how youdoing.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
I think he's good because his tail's about to hit
his tail's wagging.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
He is just licking my fingers.
He's up on top of the desk andhe is going to be the show today
for all the dog people who areout there.
Um, you're very, very happy.
Please don't poop on my desk,that'd be awful.
Hey, bud, how you doing man?
He's like I'm good, I'm gettingrubs.
Things are, things are great inlife.
So t'challa tell the worldhello.
(01:36):
Nope, he's just gonna look atme, don't look at me.
Like, who is this bozo?
So we have a new addition tothe family, to chala.
The first week was a rough one,but regretted every decision
about getting a puppy absolutelywe did, but but we okay with
him.
Now he has a sweetheart.
He loves to cuddle.
(01:57):
He doesn't do normal puppybehavior, but he's been an
awesome addition to the family.
The kids love him.
The kids are happy.
It's been a long time coming.
So, t'challa, welcome.
I'm sure all the people willlove you as well.
Thank you to all those whowatch, who listen, who subscribe
, who like, who review, who sendmessages, all of that stuff.
Let us know what you think ofold T'Challa here.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
He is hanging out.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
Well, if you don't know uh, I'm sure I've gotten
the response of what's arhodesian ridgeback so the
rhodesian ridgeback is known asthe african lion hunter, and
they were bred for farmers inafrica to keep the lions away
from their farms and theirlivestock.
And that's what they do they.
They help keep the lions at bay.
Um, they are.
(02:42):
The color is wheat, I think isthe name of the color, and it's
to be able to blend in with thegrass.
Um, one cool thing about them,the reason they're called the
rhodesian ridgeback or thezimbabwe zipperback they have a
line of hair along their back,along their back spine, and it
grows in the opposite direction.
And it's just the coolest thing.
They're great dogs.
(03:02):
They're very, very smart.
He's going to be a big boy,about 95 pounds, we've been told
.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Now, when he gets to 95 pounds, he will not be able
to sit on the desk.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
I hope he won't be able to sit on the desk in front
of us.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
He probably won't want to, but he is so, not a
puppy.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
No, he likes to sleep .
He likes to cuddle.
He's a cuddler, I mean.
He likes watches.
He does like to eat watches.
He loves to just jump up on thecouch and lay down with you,
put it, put his head up againstyou and just chill like uh.
Cash has been playing videogames and t'challa just lays
there with him for hours andjust hangs out.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
So welcome t'challa well, his name is king T'Challa
Powers, but because he is apurebred, his DNA confirmed 100%
Rhodesian Ridgeback.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
And.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
What you doing, man.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
So when you have a registered dog with the AKC, you
need to go with the naming ofyour mom.
I think it's so.
Um, mystic is his mom's nameand the breeder Emma.
She is at world-class kennelsin Harpersville, alabama.
So if anybody's looking for aRhodesian Ridgeback, she's the
(04:18):
place to go.
Yes, please look.
Emma Marshall up at world-classkennels in Harpersville, yep,
harpersville, alabama,unbelievable Just takes such
good care of the puppies and herRhodesian Ridgebacks that she
used to show T'Challa's dad is a21-time champion.
(04:39):
I mean he's got some good blood, but he just is the sweetest.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Super sweet.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
Not puppy-like.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Besides, in the little playing that he does.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
But he is so unbelievable.
Unbelievable and since we didall the research front back up
down sideways on the breed ofdog we were getting, we had
never heard of a RhodesianRidgeback because they popped up
when we were looking for alow-maintenance type of dog but
(05:33):
a good guard dog doesn't shedand we found them.
And his name for AKC, sincethey were going with a mayhem, I
guess theme Yep, he is MinionMayhem.
Yes, registered name is Minion.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Mayhem, minion, mayhem.
Elkie's favorite thing atUniversal the Minions.
So we went Minion, mayhemdidn't we?
Buddy.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
The name T'Challa.
I don't know if anybody watches, but you can see that he has a
bandana on it says Wakandaforever Our son Cash.
His favorite movie of theMarvels is Black Panther.
And in love and respect out of.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
Chadwick.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
Boseman and Black Panther.
We named him T'Challa King,t'challa King, t'challa.
So welcome him, t'challa King.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
T'Challa, king T'Challa.
So welcome, king T'Challa.
You can't just hang out hereall day, but it works because
he's from.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Africa so it made it even perfect.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
It works.
Come here, buddy.
We'll see you later.
Big guy, he's going to go hangout with Cash while Cash goes
and plays some video games, sowe're not going to be all about
the pup and all about the dogtoday.
I mean, he doesn't he doesn'twant to go anywhere at all.
Sorry, bud, it is what it is.
Go see cash.
Yeah, it is what it is overthere, so nothing to do with
(06:59):
dogs today, but I do havesomething else good for you what
you got.
You have not heard these.
They're going to drive youinsane.
There's a lot of truth to someof this stuff, but this is an
article I found, and these arethings that women do that drive
men crazy.
I'll let you know how I feelabout some of them.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
I can't wait to see if I do any of those things.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
We will see so first.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
so um first one who are these men that they drive
crazy just uh like in?
Speaker 2 (07:31):
general, just in general.
You know a bunch of spouses orspouses, not spouses, just the
men in general.
They're asked hey, what arethings that women do that drive
you nuts?
Speaker 1 (07:41):
these were the most common responses is this in a
relationship or just?
Speaker 2 (07:44):
period, period relationships, not relationships
.
First one, and I am totally onboard with this one not saying
you do it, but I do know womenwho do okay, and this drives men
insane and never wanting to doanything.
Me asking, hey, what would youlike to do?
Her response no, that soundsboring, boring.
Okay, how about this?
(08:05):
No, I don't want to do thateither.
Me okay, what would you like todo?
Her response I don't know.
Whatever you want to do, thatis the most I don't want to say
the most, but that is a veryannoying, stereotypical woman
answer it's the.
It's like the restaurant inlike greenville, alabama,
alabama, that we've passed bybefore, and the name of the
restaurant is I don't care,because always the response is
(08:27):
hey, what do you want for dinner?
Speaker 1 (08:28):
oh, I don't care whatever you want, let's go talk
about.
Oh I don't want to talk about.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Then don't say I don't care, let's go have
italian dinner.
Oh, I don't want italian dinner.
All right, well, let's go eatburgers.
I don't want burgers, so thatrestaurant's called I don't care
.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
What do you want?
I don't care, but this is,we'll go there this is insanely
aggravating I mean it happensfor restaurants, a movie, just
actually going out to dosomething.
We're not that way.
No, because we are those go-gopeople, but we also want to be
together all the time it is andthat's.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
I've said it plenty of times before.
Just I'd rather spend time withyou than really doing anything
else.
I would rather go to Joanne'sFabric with you.
That you absolutely despiseThan sit at home and do
something by myself, because Iprefer to spend time with you
and I hate I mean, I don't hatea lot of things- Mostly because
(09:21):
I spend hours there.
And I don't even have to buyanything it wouldn't be bad if
it was a good 15 minute in andout, but literally we'll spend
hours there.
I hate going there, but I'm withyou and whenever it comes to us
in situations like this, we dogive that response like it
doesn't matter to me, whateveryou want, but you know what
that's followed up with okay,well, we're doing this, or I'm
(09:44):
ordering this, or we're going togo have this, or I've got this
or that, and you know what?
Absolutely we're on board withit.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
But we also know each other so well that when we do
that, there will be times where,vice versa, whether either of
us go, hey, what are we doingfor dinner?
The other will say oh, I'vealready got dinner.
Sorry, taken care of Not evenquestioning what dinner is.
We trust the other one to knowwhat we like and you know
(10:15):
they're going to get you whatyou like.
They're not going to give youbroccoli and cheese.
You would never give mebroccoli and cheese.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
Not in a billion years, but you would get me
broccoli, because I lovebroccoli.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
If you want to eat that smelly stuff, go for it and
that's just understanding andknowing each other.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
But also, whenever we say, oh, it doesn't matter to
me, whatever you want, we trulymean that like I don't, I don't,
I don't necessarily wantanything.
Or, you know, it doesn't matterwhat we watch, or it doesn't
matter where we go, or what weget, whatever, whatever you
think is best.
And I'll even say a lot of thetimes cause you'll say, okay,
well, I'm going to do this, whatwould you like?
Surprise me, and I fully meanthat, surprise me, because I
(10:50):
know that you're, you're goingto look out for me, which kind
of leads me to number two, um,which kind of follows along.
The same thing, uh, is whenwomen take no initiative, like
they don't take any initiativein any type of decision-making,
it goes along with the I don'tknow, I don't want to do that, I
don't care, whatever you want,but also not taking the
initiative, which is somethingyou do.
Well, you are, you're anEnneagram eight, you're the
(11:14):
challenger, you don't mind tograb the bull by the horns and
just like, go.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
I welcome it.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
Absolutely so you do take initiative.
I can't relate to that at all,but I do know that that is I see
where it would be completelyannoying.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
And I do know someone this is a hilarious story that
did take initiative on theirhoneymoon but had no idea that
he couldn't necessarily swimvery well.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
Oh, I know where you're going with this.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
And he was.
I'm not scuba diving, I'm notdoing that.
It's funny.
I mean, I think it wassnorkeling or something.
I've got to get them on thisshow and I've told him about
this as that.
I want you to tell me thatstory and I want to watch her
face when she's reliving thismoment, because he said it
almost ended up in divorce andthey were only just married
(12:17):
we're gonna have to make thathappen, but that's another one,
george drake, please when, whenwe're gonna take?
Speaker 2 (12:22):
on this podcast one day we do want to hear that
story drake has the best he, hetells, he tells Very funny, very
in-depth stories and they'remated.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
It's so fantastic, but the time that she did take
the initiative and surprise himwith something, it was horrible.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
She's probably traumatized and she doesn't take
any initiative anymore.
And maybe that's why most womendon't take initiative, and it
could be, but again, that'ssomething you got to talk about
it From the man's standpoint.
Yes, we want you to takecontrol Sometimes.
We want you to have an opinion.
We want to hear from youbecause mostly men we do want to
hear from you.
We want to know what yourthoughts are, know what your
(13:00):
opinion is.
Yes, there are men who arecomplete a-holes and think that
they run the world and thateverything goes through them and
what their final word says.
A real man does not feel thatway.
We have our opinions and wewant to lead, but we want to
hear from those who are closestto us and those who we trust to
also be able to get input,because we understand we don't
(13:21):
always have all the answers andwe know that we are better
together.
We want to hear from you, women.
The third one when they assumethey understand my intentions or
motivations because in airquotes they know how men think
or otherwise, claim to beexceedingly perspective.
Perspective or intuitive, evenif it's true, believing or
(13:41):
acting on those take things awayfrom my ability to express my
thoughts and feelings in a givenmatter.
It really grinds my gears.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
Grinds mine too.
All I thought about when yousaid that was back to when you
made me listen to that talk show.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
The View.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
That said Are men useless.
Mm-hmm, you're making your manuseless.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
You know what happens when you assume.
And if you don't know, please,with all those things that you
do on those little short videos,assume A-S-S out of U.
U M-E.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
And it's exactly true .
That's exactly what happenswhen you assume, so it's
important to to talk to eachother communication
communication.
This next one is, uh, probablynumber one top of my list.
And this is not necessarily awoman thing.
Yes, women do it.
It's not necessarily a spousalthing, men do it also, but it's
also just people in general.
Okay, when you're talking tothem and they reply, oh my gosh,
(14:58):
that's so funny, while they'reoccupied with their phones, not
laughing or smiling.
So, having a conversation, yousay something, say, oh my gosh,
baby, that's so funny.
Not even look up and continuethis one like I'm gonna grab
your phone, I'm gonna throw itas far as I can.
Now, my arm isn't what it usedto be.
It may not go far and I mayhurt later yeah but dadgummit.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
This one drives me insane we have talked about this
on previous episodes we havelook up, but I've told you, I've
shared with you, that this weekat school I was asked was I
married?
I said yes and then I'd beenmarried for 16 years, but we've
(15:44):
been together for 25.
They were floored, blown awayand they asked these are juniors
and seniors in high school thatasked why have you been married
so long?
My answer was straight up easybecause he is everything that
(16:06):
I'm not and makes me so muchbetter.
They didn't.
Whoa, coach Powers.
That's deep, it's true.
The next day they asked aboutcell phones and I guess I got to
get my mind right.
I said you want me to tell youhow do you get your mind right.
(16:26):
Leave your phone somewhere, getrid of it, because how many
times have you had aconversation with somebody where
you're doing this uh-huh rightand you have no idea what that
person is saying?
Speaker 2 (16:41):
test them with that, like you're having a
conversation with someone, thatyou're talking about them and
just make up something off thewall do that all the time crazy
like, yeah, you won't believethis, but I'm the building's on
fire.
The building's currently onfire and I'm going to go jump
out of an airplane right now.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
Oh my God, that's so funny.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
Yeah, there's a rhinoceros right behind you
about to attack.
Say something stupid.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
Did you see that unicorn right?
Speaker 2 (17:03):
there and they're going to give you.
It's just, it's a condition forus.
In the words of Ferris Bueller,life moves pretty fast.
If you don't stop and lookaround once in a while, you can
miss it.
If we have our heads so far duginto our phones, you're going
to miss everything that'simportant.
Number five, the next one, whenthey demand princess treatment
(17:25):
but do not reciprocate anything,I can't treat you like a queen.
If you don't, let me be yourking.
Entitlement is a turnoffSomeone who acts entitled to
your affection, your time andyour money while offering up
little to nothing in return.
Couldn't have been said better Ilove this because it's so.
(17:47):
I can't treat you like a queen.
If you don't, let me be yourking we have talked about and
that's true.
I do treat you like a queenbecause you are, but you also
treat me like a king, and itworks both ways, and that's when
the relationship works right.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
We have also said marriage is not 50, 50, never,
there's going to be some days Itreat you way better than you
treat you.
Treat me that day because it'san off day.
I'm here to lift you up andvice versa, where you do the
same for me.
I mean, I could not literallymove my the left side for months
(18:23):
.
You don't have hair, but youwere blow mine.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
Dang right and I did a great job you did.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
How can you expect to be treated like a queen If you
ain't?
Speaker 2 (18:40):
got a king.
You can't, you can't.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
Come on women.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
Come on, be better, be better.
Here's another one where itseems like they it seems like
they own the place or can dowhatever they want, even if it
bothers other people, like beingloud, rude, demanding attention
from everybody, but mostly notrespecting others, and I get
that.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
I can't stand those people either.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
No, and there are people who walk into the room
and they do.
They own the room, notintentionally, but that's just
their personality, that's justwho they are, but they don't do
it at the expense of otherpeople.
I totally understand andtotally get this.
It's a complete turn off.
It will drive you absolutelyinsane.
You don't want anything to dowith that.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
Get off your phone, you go into a store and you're
with somebody else and you areloud in that conversation
talking on speakerphone or onfacetime.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
Now, I've facetimed in the store before, but I do
this.
I'm like, hey, baby, which oneis it?
Because I don't know but notthe whole dang conversation I, I
hate that you need to shareyour business with everybody
it's not that they want to sharetheir business with everybody
is they need they need to beseen and they need to try and
(20:06):
get attention from other peoplehave zero joy in their life.
Yeah, so they're out thereseeking it from.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
Attention in ways that they never needed.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
And even when it's bad attention, they don't want
it.
Clearly this one talks aboutall their past relationships.
You know this would be a for meand luckily I have not had to
experience it because I've hadyou for 25 years.
But I know for be a for me andluckily I have not had to
experience it because I've hadyou for 25 years.
But I know for sure for me thathow and I do this with when
(20:39):
hiring people I want to see howthey speak about their previous
employer.
If I were dating someone, Iwould want to hear not all the
details, but I would pay closeattention to how they talk about
their past relationships,because of every past
relationship they're throwingsomeone under the bus and
they're talking about howhorrible they were.
That is ding, ding, ding redflag for me.
(21:00):
I want no part of this.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
It's eventually a them problem.
You know Taylor Swift.
I've said it before.
She has all these exes and ohpoor Taylor Swift.
Eventually it's a you problem.
Eventually you've got to lookin the mirror and you've got
your own problems, your ownthings you need to deal with or
you're never going to be able tofind what you're looking for.
But how people talk about theirex-relationships.
If you're hiring people, theirprevious employers, if I hire
(21:35):
someone and they're doggingtheir previous employer, I don't
want it.
I don't want it at all.
Now I understand things go badand people make horrible
mistakes and those pastrelationships may be terrible,
but it doesn't need to get intothe nitty gritty of why and just
kind of keep piling on thatpast person.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
That is something it's a huge red flag for me and
also, if you're talking aboutyour past and constantly
bringing out the past, how areyou supposed to move forward?
You?
Speaker 2 (21:50):
can't and constantly bringing out the past.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
How are you supposed to move forward?
You can't, because you're stuckon what has happened over here.
When you're not focusing onwhat's right in front of you,
totally, what's the point ofeven having a relationship?
Get out of your situationships.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
Them.
Situationships, short andinfrequent texts.
Okay, okay, I get it.
He says I'll buzz off then.
Situationships Situationships,short and infrequent texts.
Okay Okay, I get it.
He says I'll buzz off, then I'mnot going to carry the
relationship and you're clearlynot head over heels Meaning.
And I get this.
You send a long text message orconversation and it's just
short, little, one word answers.
(22:27):
Clearly you're not all thatinterested in it.
Now I know one for me, one textthat I can't stand getting okay
there's a thumbs up there isI'd rather a thumbs up, when you
get a k in return.
Something's up.
You know something, something'sgone down, something's's not
good when you say something andsomeone responds just a K, oh no
(22:51):
.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
Don't even respond.
Oh no, I would rather have meleft unread.
Not that I have that turned on.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
Yeah, I don't either K.
K.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
You forgot about something.
You're doing something that youshouldn't be.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
K.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
You're responding to get this off your screen so
somebody else doesn't see it andthat's that's it um.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
This next one, I think, is probably one of the
bigger problems that we seetoday getting their relationship
expectations from social mediaoh, I saw this on tiktok.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
You know, we should totally do this yes, you know
where she found it, or how shefound it when you were telling
her that funny joke and she wasconstantly scrolling like oh my
god, look at this.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
Yeah, um, this is so true because and we forget that
social media is the highlightreel it's not real life at all,
it is strictly the highlightreel.
It's everything that wasperfect about that little
situation.
You know, when you see thefamily pictures of everyone and
they're dressed so perfect andthe sun's setting perfectly and
(24:06):
everyone looks their best,they're smiling so big and
everyone looks their best.
They're smiling so big.
They're all matching outfits.
That is the one picture thatwas gotten in the two hours it
took to get people like that.
While they're screaming, whilethey're yelling, while they're
crying, they're fighting andthey're dirty, you're about to
get a divorce all because of it.
That's the reality of it, and Ialso want to put on this
(24:30):
perfect picture of what itshould look like.
We cannot get our expectationsfrom what's going on in social
media because it is not reallife.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
You just have to also watch who you're following.
Speaker 2 (24:44):
Yes, fix that algorithm.
Watch out who you're following.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
Because do you really want to live their life?
No, probably not, because youhave no idea what's really going
on.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
Yeah, whoever you're following and you think it looks
perfect, it's all a lie.
I can promise you that.
Just a couple more here whenthey are rude to waiters, total
mood killer for me.
If I see that it has to be abad day or something, or I'm out
.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
You should get out immediately yes because anybody
that's going to complain tosomebody that has 100 control of
your food.
Speaker 2 (25:29):
You have screwed up oh yeah, watch the movie waiting
.
Watch what happens when you'rea waitress.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
I know exactly what happens and that was in my bc
life yeah you piss me off at atable and me and the cook we're
on good terms.
I take your plate back to thecook.
You want to know what she said.
About your food Makes me thinkof True Blood.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
Yes, Lafayette, oh man.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
Here's your burger.
Hold the AIDS.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
Because he was gay.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
Oh my gosh, you don't do things like that.
I totally agree with this.
Come back with a lot of stuffthat you don't know what you're
eating in your food you mostcertainly will never know, or it
makes me think of the help yeswith the pie, the pie, the
chocolate pie.
My Great.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
Great scene.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
Oh man, Octavia Spencer, I love you.
Speaker 2 (26:35):
It was so, so great.
But I told you you can't berude to, you, shouldn't be rude
to any type of service staff atall Period.
Yeah, something going to messup everything.
Yes, absolutely no one'sperfect.
Speaker 1 (26:47):
It most certainly will, how many times have you
messed up Plenty.
And that's probably why you allget in some deep.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
Plenty.
So don't be rude to people.
Be kind to people.
Mistakes happen.
I think, overall, people wantto do a good job At whatever
they do and they will make itright.
All you got to do is be awareand just tell them and be kind
about it.
Speaker 1 (27:05):
And sometimes, if you're, if you're going to be A
bitty about it, you're going toget something in your food, but
if you're over the top niceabout it, you might get a little
extra something yeah, just say,just say simple dessert on the
house yeah, just a simple hey,this.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
This isn't necessarily what I ordered.
I got this.
Could I possibly you know whateasy done, so that's a big one.
I got two.
You, okay, playing hard to get.
When women play hard to get,they're playing that game that,
honestly, no man wants to play.
No man wants to play the gameof chasing.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
Give examples.
Speaker 2 (27:48):
No, just that.
That whole playing hard to getlike, yes, I'm interested, no,
now I'm not.
And yes, I'm interested, no,now I'm not.
Yes, I'm interested, no, nowI'm not.
And I've got the dates overhere and I got this.
Going on over here and justacting as if they're not really
interested.
But they really are interested,but they want to make you keep
chasing because that's a stupidgame that no one wants to play.
Ain't, no one got time for that.
Speaker 1 (28:09):
I feel that happens more now in today's world than
it might have when we wereyounger.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
Yeah, I can see that.
Well, because everyone'slooking for the next best thing,
you have situationships insteadof relationships.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
You always have the next person lined up.
Speaker 2 (28:29):
Always.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
And so the reason why they're playing hard to get is
because you probably are thenext one in line and they want
to make sure they can get youwhen that situation they're
currently in is done.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
Yeah, unfortunately it's known as the DOD, the dong
on deck.
Last one, can we just what?
Speaker 1 (28:58):
What last one?
What world d o d?
Speaker 2 (29:01):
setting up that next band that dong on deck, next
batter up am I that naive orsheltered?
Speaker 1 (29:15):
I did not know what that is maybe, maybe not.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
I think that was a covino and rich term back in the
day okay, the dod the dong ondeck.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
Write that down thank you, covino and rich last one.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
Every man will totally agree with this, and you
totally will too.
Oh boy, when they flirt andgive their attention to other
men and, when caught, try topretend like it was harmless and
we're overreacting, which willsometimes cause us to really
ponder on if we were over atoverreacting or not.
Why is it that women will flirtwith other men in front of
(29:50):
their man?
Why does that happen?
Speaker 1 (29:55):
I don't know.
I can safely say I have maybedone that two or three times,
but that was also in our article.
Speaker 2 (30:11):
Awful stages is also in our art form Awful stages.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
We see life where I'm going to have my cake and eat
it too.
Speaker 2 (30:20):
Right, and do you think that's where it comes from
?
Speaker 1 (30:28):
For me I don't have an answer because with you, you
I have everything I needed.
So mine was strictly for spite.
I can't answer for other women.
I could see where they would doit to make their husbands
jealous and see them desirablethat another man might want to
(30:53):
have something to do with themsee, and I could, I could see
that happening too.
Speaker 2 (30:57):
I could see, because they're not getting that
attention they want from theirhusband so they're gonna seek it
from somebody else and thatthat is a reality, like if we
don't give our spouses attention, they're totally going to find
it in other places.
Um, hence we need to Respectand pay attention to Our spouses
.
I can see where a woman wouldsay Well, I'm going to make him
realize he's got something andflirt a little bit.
Speaker 1 (31:20):
But you also have to Realize some women Just Flirt
Constantly.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
Well, men hate it.
Speaker 1 (31:34):
Well, you need to let your woman know that you see,
that's what you see, and youdon't like it.
Speaker 2 (31:42):
And if she loves you and respects you she'll realize
that and make sure it neverhappens again, which is all we
can ask for.
Everyone's allowed a mistakelike this, especially you talk
about it and you move past it.
Allowed a mistake like this,especially you talk about it and
you move past it.
It's the best way to do it easy.
So the things that men or womendo that drive men insane was
(32:02):
that supposed to be a man?
Speaker 1 (32:05):
of course those things drive me crazy too I
think anyone who you just said,of course, to me being a man no
I was processing differentthings in my head.
You were no, you're definitelynot a man I said was I supposed
to be a man?
I?
Speaker 2 (32:20):
can.
Of course, I can vouch for thatwait a minute.
Powers, of course these aregoing to infuriate you too,
because anyone who is in ahealthy relationship and loves
their spouse would think thesame thing like this is your,
your, you're crazy to do thisstupid stuff.
Speaker 1 (32:38):
You're crazy to do it it just shows me that you don't
want to be with the man you'rewith well that, and it's very,
very attention seeking, whichmen are not looking for.
Speaker 2 (32:48):
attention seeking men are looking for respect,
they're looking for a partner,they're looking for someone to
be with them through it all.
That's what men want.
Men don't want a woman seekingand seeking and seeking
attention.
Speaker 1 (33:01):
The best advice I can give to either people in the
relationship.
If you're not married and youhaven't known each other for a
long time and you're justmeeting someone, what kind of
car are they driving?
You're looking at me like whatare you talking about?
Because if you have a Maseratiand that's your car, you're
(33:27):
going to be high maintenance.
That is a high maintenance car.
You can't just go to any oilchange place and get that
Maserati service.
You're going to have to go tothe main dealer.
That's not readily availablefor everyone everywhere.
Speaker 2 (33:44):
Can't just run down to Express and get that knocked
out.
I see where you're going.
Speaker 1 (33:49):
If you got that Toyota Camry.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
Metacord.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
Those kind of cars, you're going to be able to
understand and put things inperspective, but if you're
driving around in a ToyotaCorolla with a Maserati taste,
mm-mm.
Yeah, that could be a problem,you're driving that Toyota
(34:16):
Corolla, but you're acting likeyou got Maserati money.
Speaker 2 (34:20):
That's even a bigger problem.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
That's a red flag.
Speaker 2 (34:22):
It's a huge red flag.
I like that.
No, it does kind of tell youmaintenance-wise, hey, how high
maintenance is this going to be?
Speaker 1 (34:30):
Look at their shoes.
How often do you really lookMan's shoes?
Speaker 2 (34:37):
No one looked at Andy Dufresne's shoes.
That's why he busted on out ofprison, wore the warden's shoes.
Any final thoughts?
Speaker 1 (34:45):
I love you.
Speaker 2 (34:45):
I love you too, god.
We love you.
We are so thankful.
I know we say it often, butthis is yours and we're just
thankful that you've trusted uswith it and we trust you to do
whatever you want with it.
We will continue to obey youand do what you want forever.
And God, we just want to prayover every person, people who
are walking through things,people who are seeing
difficulties.
If any of these things that wetalked about today are relevant
(35:09):
in someone's life, god, I justpray that you open up the doors
to have a conversation andyou'll be in the midst of the
conversation to help peoplenavigate through this, to be
able to have the purpose and thelife and the marriage and the
relationship that you wantedthem to have, because that's who
you are and you are good, andwe love you in Jesus name, amen.
Speaker 1 (35:26):
Amen Play ball.
here's a question for you is marriage overrated?
Speaker 2 (00:09):
why aren't people getting married anymore?
Speaker 1 (00:11):
a new pew research poll found that two and five
young adults think marriage isan outdated tradition marriage
rates are at their lowest rightnow.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Is marriage really even worth it?
More than half of marriages endin divorce.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
If you get married, you have to be stuck with this
person for the rest of your life, right?
That's why you get married.
So that's why it's declining.
Why would you get married ifyou don't, if you want to have
just one partner?
Speaker 2 (00:35):
when you can have multiple Marriage is stupid.
Welcome to the Married AFpodcast, the self-proclaimed
greatest marriage andrelationship podcast in the
world.
My name is Matthew Powers.
Alongside my beautiful wife,monica, we are your hosts for
the show today, and we have aspecial guest with us who, if
you're watching on YouTube,you're going to love it.
(00:56):
He is crawling on the desk.
He's all over the place.
He won't want to leave thingsalone.
He is a new addition to ourfamily.
Rhodesian ridgeback, 12 weekold.
T'challa, t'challa, how youdoing.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
I think he's good because his tail's about to hit
his tail's wagging.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
He is just licking my fingers.
He's up on top of the desk andhe is going to be the show today
for all the dog people who areout there.
Um, you're very, very happy.
Please don't poop on my desk,that'd be awful.
Hey, bud, how you doing man?
He's like I'm good, I'm gettingrubs.
Things are, things are great inlife.
So t'challa tell the worldhello.
(01:36):
Nope, he's just gonna look atme, don't look at me.
Like, who is this bozo?
So we have a new addition tothe family, to chala.
The first week was a rough one,but regretted every decision
about getting a puppy absolutelywe did, but but we okay with
him.
Now he has a sweetheart.
He loves to cuddle.
(01:57):
He doesn't do normal puppybehavior, but he's been an
awesome addition to the family.
The kids love him.
The kids are happy.
It's been a long time coming.
So, t'challa, welcome.
I'm sure all the people willlove you as well.
Thank you to all those whowatch, who listen, who subscribe
, who like, who review, who sendmessages, all of that stuff.
Let us know what you think ofold T'Challa here.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
He is hanging out.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
Well, if you don't know uh, I'm sure I've gotten
the response of what's arhodesian ridgeback so the
rhodesian ridgeback is known asthe african lion hunter, and
they were bred for farmers inafrica to keep the lions away
from their farms and theirlivestock.
And that's what they do they.
They help keep the lions at bay.
Um, they are.
(02:42):
The color is wheat, I think isthe name of the color, and it's
to be able to blend in with thegrass.
Um, one cool thing about them,the reason they're called the
rhodesian ridgeback or thezimbabwe zipperback they have a
line of hair along their back,along their back spine, and it
grows in the opposite direction.
And it's just the coolest thing.
They're great dogs.
(03:02):
They're very, very smart.
He's going to be a big boy,about 95 pounds, we've been told
.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Now, when he gets to 95 pounds, he will not be able
to sit on the desk.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
I hope he won't be able to sit on the desk in front
of us.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
He probably won't want to, but he is so, not a
puppy.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
No, he likes to sleep .
He likes to cuddle.
He's a cuddler, I mean.
He likes watches.
He does like to eat watches.
He loves to just jump up on thecouch and lay down with you,
put it, put his head up againstyou and just chill like uh.
Cash has been playing videogames and t'challa just lays
there with him for hours andjust hangs out.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
So welcome t'challa well, his name is king T'Challa
Powers, but because he is apurebred, his DNA confirmed 100%
Rhodesian Ridgeback.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
And.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
What you doing, man.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
So when you have a registered dog with the AKC, you
need to go with the naming ofyour mom.
I think it's so.
Um, mystic is his mom's nameand the breeder Emma.
She is at world-class kennelsin Harpersville, alabama.
So if anybody's looking for aRhodesian Ridgeback, she's the
(04:18):
place to go.
Yes, please look.
Emma Marshall up at world-classkennels in Harpersville, yep,
harpersville, alabama,unbelievable Just takes such
good care of the puppies and herRhodesian Ridgebacks that she
used to show T'Challa's dad is a21-time champion.
(04:39):
I mean he's got some good blood, but he just is the sweetest.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Super sweet.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
Not puppy-like.
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Besides, in the little playing that he does.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
But he is so unbelievable.
Unbelievable and since we didall the research front back up
down sideways on the breed ofdog we were getting, we had
never heard of a RhodesianRidgeback because they popped up
when we were looking for alow-maintenance type of dog but
(05:33):
a good guard dog doesn't shedand we found them.
And his name for AKC, sincethey were going with a mayhem, I
guess theme Yep, he is MinionMayhem.
Yes, registered name is Minion.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
Mayhem, minion, mayhem.
Elkie's favorite thing atUniversal the Minions.
So we went Minion, mayhemdidn't we?
Buddy.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
The name T'Challa.
I don't know if anybody watches, but you can see that he has a
bandana on it says Wakandaforever Our son Cash.
His favorite movie of theMarvels is Black Panther.
And in love and respect out of.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
Chadwick.
Speaker 1 (06:18):
Boseman and Black Panther.
We named him T'Challa King,t'challa King, t'challa.
So welcome him, t'challa King.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
T'Challa, king T'Challa.
So welcome, king T'Challa.
You can't just hang out hereall day, but it works because
he's from.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Africa so it made it even perfect.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
It works.
Come here, buddy.
We'll see you later.
Big guy, he's going to go hangout with Cash while Cash goes
and plays some video games, sowe're not going to be all about
the pup and all about the dogtoday.
I mean, he doesn't he doesn'twant to go anywhere at all.
Sorry, bud, it is what it is.
Go see cash.
Yeah, it is what it is overthere, so nothing to do with
(06:59):
dogs today, but I do havesomething else good for you what
you got.
You have not heard these.
They're going to drive youinsane.
There's a lot of truth to someof this stuff, but this is an
article I found, and these arethings that women do that drive
men crazy.
I'll let you know how I feelabout some of them.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
I can't wait to see if I do any of those things.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
We will see so first.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
so um first one who are these men that they drive
crazy just uh like in?
Speaker 2 (07:31):
general, just in general.
You know a bunch of spouses orspouses, not spouses, just the
men in general.
They're asked hey, what arethings that women do that drive
you nuts?
Speaker 1 (07:41):
these were the most common responses is this in a
relationship or just?
Speaker 2 (07:44):
period, period relationships, not relationships
.
First one, and I am totally onboard with this one not saying
you do it, but I do know womenwho do okay, and this drives men
insane and never wanting to doanything.
Me asking, hey, what would youlike to do?
Her response no, that soundsboring, boring.
Okay, how about this?
(08:05):
No, I don't want to do thateither.
Me okay, what would you like todo?
Her response I don't know.
Whatever you want to do, thatis the most I don't want to say
the most, but that is a veryannoying, stereotypical woman
answer it's the.
It's like the restaurant inlike greenville, alabama,
alabama, that we've passed bybefore, and the name of the
restaurant is I don't care,because always the response is
(08:27):
hey, what do you want for dinner?
Speaker 1 (08:28):
oh, I don't care whatever you want, let's go talk
about.
Oh I don't want to talk about.
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Then don't say I don't care, let's go have
italian dinner.
Oh, I don't want italian dinner.
All right, well, let's go eatburgers.
I don't want burgers, so thatrestaurant's called I don't care
.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
What do you want?
I don't care, but this is,we'll go there this is insanely
aggravating I mean it happensfor restaurants, a movie, just
actually going out to dosomething.
We're not that way.
No, because we are those go-gopeople, but we also want to be
together all the time it is andthat's.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
I've said it plenty of times before.
Just I'd rather spend time withyou than really doing anything
else.
I would rather go to Joanne'sFabric with you.
That you absolutely despiseThan sit at home and do
something by myself, because Iprefer to spend time with you
and I hate I mean, I don't hatea lot of things- Mostly because
(09:21):
I spend hours there.
And I don't even have to buyanything it wouldn't be bad if
it was a good 15 minute in andout, but literally we'll spend
hours there.
I hate going there, but I'm withyou and whenever it comes to us
in situations like this, we dogive that response like it
doesn't matter to me, whateveryou want, but you know what
that's followed up with okay,well, we're doing this, or I'm
(09:44):
ordering this, or we're going togo have this, or I've got this
or that, and you know what?
Absolutely we're on board withit.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
But we also know each other so well that when we do
that, there will be times where,vice versa, whether either of
us go, hey, what are we doingfor dinner?
The other will say oh, I'vealready got dinner.
Sorry, taken care of Not evenquestioning what dinner is.
We trust the other one to knowwhat we like and you know
(10:15):
they're going to get you whatyou like.
They're not going to give youbroccoli and cheese.
You would never give mebroccoli and cheese.
Speaker 2 (10:21):
Not in a billion years, but you would get me
broccoli, because I lovebroccoli.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
If you want to eat that smelly stuff, go for it and
that's just understanding andknowing each other.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
But also, whenever we say, oh, it doesn't matter to
me, whatever you want, we trulymean that like I don't, I don't,
I don't necessarily wantanything.
Or, you know, it doesn't matterwhat we watch, or it doesn't
matter where we go, or what weget, whatever, whatever you
think is best.
And I'll even say a lot of thetimes cause you'll say, okay,
well, I'm going to do this, whatwould you like?
Surprise me, and I fully meanthat, surprise me, because I
(10:50):
know that you're, you're goingto look out for me, which kind
of leads me to number two, um,which kind of follows along.
The same thing, uh, is whenwomen take no initiative, like
they don't take any initiativein any type of decision-making,
it goes along with the I don'tknow, I don't want to do that, I
don't care, whatever you want,but also not taking the
initiative, which is somethingyou do.
Well, you are, you're anEnneagram eight, you're the
(11:14):
challenger, you don't mind tograb the bull by the horns and
just like, go.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
I welcome it.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
Absolutely so you do take initiative.
I can't relate to that at all,but I do know that that is I see
where it would be completelyannoying.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
And I do know someone this is a hilarious story that
did take initiative on theirhoneymoon but had no idea that
he couldn't necessarily swimvery well.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
Oh, I know where you're going with this.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
And he was.
I'm not scuba diving, I'm notdoing that.
It's funny.
I mean, I think it wassnorkeling or something.
I've got to get them on thisshow and I've told him about
this as that.
I want you to tell me thatstory and I want to watch her
face when she's reliving thismoment, because he said it
almost ended up in divorce andthey were only just married
(12:17):
we're gonna have to make thathappen, but that's another one,
george drake, please when, whenwe're gonna take?
Speaker 2 (12:22):
on this podcast one day we do want to hear that
story drake has the best he, hetells, he tells Very funny, very
in-depth stories and they'remated.
Speaker 1 (12:32):
It's so fantastic, but the time that she did take
the initiative and surprise himwith something, it was horrible.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
She's probably traumatized and she doesn't take
any initiative anymore.
And maybe that's why most womendon't take initiative, and it
could be, but again, that'ssomething you got to talk about
it From the man's standpoint.
Yes, we want you to takecontrol Sometimes.
We want you to have an opinion.
We want to hear from youbecause mostly men we do want to
hear from you.
We want to know what yourthoughts are, know what your
(13:00):
opinion is.
Yes, there are men who arecomplete a-holes and think that
they run the world and thateverything goes through them and
what their final word says.
A real man does not feel thatway.
We have our opinions and wewant to lead, but we want to
hear from those who are closestto us and those who we trust to
also be able to get input,because we understand we don't
(13:21):
always have all the answers andwe know that we are better
together.
We want to hear from you, women.
The third one when they assumethey understand my intentions or
motivations because in airquotes they know how men think
or otherwise, claim to beexceedingly perspective.
Perspective or intuitive, evenif it's true, believing or
(13:41):
acting on those take things awayfrom my ability to express my
thoughts and feelings in a givenmatter.
It really grinds my gears.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
Grinds mine too.
All I thought about when yousaid that was back to when you
made me listen to that talk show.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
The View.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
That said Are men useless.
Mm-hmm, you're making your manuseless.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
You know what happens when you assume.
And if you don't know, please,with all those things that you
do on those little short videos,assume A-S-S out of U.
U M-E.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
And it's exactly true .
That's exactly what happenswhen you assume, so it's
important to to talk to eachother communication
communication.
This next one is, uh, probablynumber one top of my list.
And this is not necessarily awoman thing.
Yes, women do it.
It's not necessarily a spousalthing, men do it also, but it's
also just people in general.
Okay, when you're talking tothem and they reply, oh my gosh,
(14:58):
that's so funny, while they'reoccupied with their phones, not
laughing or smiling.
So, having a conversation, yousay something, say, oh my gosh,
baby, that's so funny.
Not even look up and continuethis one like I'm gonna grab
your phone, I'm gonna throw itas far as I can.
Now, my arm isn't what it usedto be.
It may not go far and I mayhurt later yeah but dadgummit.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
This one drives me insane we have talked about this
on previous episodes we havelook up, but I've told you, I've
shared with you, that this weekat school I was asked was I
married?
I said yes and then I'd beenmarried for 16 years, but we've
(15:44):
been together for 25.
They were floored, blown awayand they asked these are juniors
and seniors in high school thatasked why have you been married
so long?
My answer was straight up easybecause he is everything that
(16:06):
I'm not and makes me so muchbetter.
They didn't.
Whoa, coach Powers.
That's deep, it's true.
The next day they asked aboutcell phones and I guess I got to
get my mind right.
I said you want me to tell youhow do you get your mind right.
(16:26):
Leave your phone somewhere, getrid of it, because how many
times have you had aconversation with somebody where
you're doing this uh-huh rightand you have no idea what that
person is saying?
Speaker 2 (16:41):
test them with that, like you're having a
conversation with someone, thatyou're talking about them and
just make up something off thewall do that all the time crazy
like, yeah, you won't believethis, but I'm the building's on
fire.
The building's currently onfire and I'm going to go jump
out of an airplane right now.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
Oh my God, that's so funny.
Speaker 2 (16:59):
Yeah, there's a rhinoceros right behind you
about to attack.
Say something stupid.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
Did you see that unicorn right?
Speaker 2 (17:03):
there and they're going to give you.
It's just, it's a condition forus.
In the words of Ferris Bueller,life moves pretty fast.
If you don't stop and lookaround once in a while, you can
miss it.
If we have our heads so far duginto our phones, you're going
to miss everything that'simportant.
Number five, the next one, whenthey demand princess treatment
(17:25):
but do not reciprocate anything,I can't treat you like a queen.
If you don't, let me be yourking.
Entitlement is a turnoffSomeone who acts entitled to
your affection, your time andyour money while offering up
little to nothing in return.
Couldn't have been said better Ilove this because it's so.
(17:47):
I can't treat you like a queen.
If you don't, let me be yourking we have talked about and
that's true.
I do treat you like a queenbecause you are, but you also
treat me like a king, and itworks both ways, and that's when
the relationship works right.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
We have also said marriage is not 50, 50, never,
there's going to be some days Itreat you way better than you
treat you.
Treat me that day because it'san off day.
I'm here to lift you up andvice versa, where you do the
same for me.
I mean, I could not literallymove my the left side for months
(18:23):
.
You don't have hair, but youwere blow mine.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
Dang right and I did a great job you did.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
How can you expect to be treated like a queen If you
ain't?
Speaker 2 (18:40):
got a king.
You can't, you can't.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
Come on women.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
Come on, be better, be better.
Here's another one where itseems like they it seems like
they own the place or can dowhatever they want, even if it
bothers other people, like beingloud, rude, demanding attention
from everybody, but mostly notrespecting others, and I get
that.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
I can't stand those people either.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
No, and there are people who walk into the room
and they do.
They own the room, notintentionally, but that's just
their personality, that's justwho they are, but they don't do
it at the expense of otherpeople.
I totally understand andtotally get this.
It's a complete turn off.
It will drive you absolutelyinsane.
You don't want anything to dowith that.
Speaker 1 (19:28):
Get off your phone, you go into a store and you're
with somebody else and you areloud in that conversation
talking on speakerphone or onfacetime.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
Now, I've facetimed in the store before, but I do
this.
I'm like, hey, baby, which oneis it?
Because I don't know but notthe whole dang conversation I, I
hate that you need to shareyour business with everybody
it's not that they want to sharetheir business with everybody
is they need they need to beseen and they need to try and
(20:06):
get attention from other peoplehave zero joy in their life.
Yeah, so they're out thereseeking it from.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
Attention in ways that they never needed.
Speaker 2 (20:15):
And even when it's bad attention, they don't want
it.
Clearly this one talks aboutall their past relationships.
You know this would be a for meand luckily I have not had to
experience it because I've hadyou for 25 years.
But I know for be a for me andluckily I have not had to
experience it because I've hadyou for 25 years.
But I know for sure for me thathow and I do this with when
(20:39):
hiring people I want to see howthey speak about their previous
employer.
If I were dating someone, Iwould want to hear not all the
details, but I would pay closeattention to how they talk about
their past relationships,because of every past
relationship they're throwingsomeone under the bus and
they're talking about howhorrible they were.
That is ding, ding, ding redflag for me.
(21:00):
I want no part of this.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
It's eventually a them problem.
You know Taylor Swift.
I've said it before.
She has all these exes and ohpoor Taylor Swift.
Eventually it's a you problem.
Eventually you've got to lookin the mirror and you've got
your own problems, your ownthings you need to deal with or
you're never going to be able tofind what you're looking for.
But how people talk about theirex-relationships.
If you're hiring people, theirprevious employers, if I hire
(21:35):
someone and they're doggingtheir previous employer, I don't
want it.
I don't want it at all.
Now I understand things go badand people make horrible
mistakes and those pastrelationships may be terrible,
but it doesn't need to get intothe nitty gritty of why and just
kind of keep piling on thatpast person.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
That is something it's a huge red flag for me and
also, if you're talking aboutyour past and constantly
bringing out the past, how areyou supposed to move forward?
You?
Speaker 2 (21:50):
can't and constantly bringing out the past.
Speaker 1 (21:51):
How are you supposed to move forward?
You can't, because you're stuckon what has happened over here.
When you're not focusing onwhat's right in front of you,
totally, what's the point ofeven having a relationship?
Get out of your situationships.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
Them.
Situationships, short andinfrequent texts.
Okay, okay, I get it.
He says I'll buzz off then.
Situationships Situationships,short and infrequent texts.
Okay Okay, I get it.
He says I'll buzz off, then I'mnot going to carry the
relationship and you're clearlynot head over heels Meaning.
And I get this.
You send a long text message orconversation and it's just
short, little, one word answers.
(22:27):
Clearly you're not all thatinterested in it.
Now I know one for me, one textthat I can't stand getting okay
there's a thumbs up there isI'd rather a thumbs up, when you
get a k in return.
Something's up.
You know something, something'sgone down, something's's not
good when you say something andsomeone responds just a K, oh no
(22:51):
.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
Don't even respond.
Oh no, I would rather have meleft unread.
Not that I have that turned on.
Speaker 2 (22:59):
Yeah, I don't either K.
K.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
You forgot about something.
You're doing something that youshouldn't be.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
K.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
You're responding to get this off your screen so
somebody else doesn't see it andthat's that's it um.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
This next one, I think, is probably one of the
bigger problems that we seetoday getting their relationship
expectations from social mediaoh, I saw this on tiktok.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
You know, we should totally do this yes, you know
where she found it, or how shefound it when you were telling
her that funny joke and she wasconstantly scrolling like oh my
god, look at this.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
Yeah, um, this is so true because and we forget that
social media is the highlightreel it's not real life at all,
it is strictly the highlightreel.
It's everything that wasperfect about that little
situation.
You know, when you see thefamily pictures of everyone and
they're dressed so perfect andthe sun's setting perfectly and
(24:06):
everyone looks their best,they're smiling so big and
everyone looks their best.
They're smiling so big.
They're all matching outfits.
That is the one picture thatwas gotten in the two hours it
took to get people like that.
While they're screaming, whilethey're yelling, while they're
crying, they're fighting andthey're dirty, you're about to
get a divorce all because of it.
That's the reality of it, and Ialso want to put on this
(24:30):
perfect picture of what itshould look like.
We cannot get our expectationsfrom what's going on in social
media because it is not reallife.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
You just have to also watch who you're following.
Speaker 2 (24:44):
Yes, fix that algorithm.
Watch out who you're following.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
Because do you really want to live their life?
No, probably not, because youhave no idea what's really going
on.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
Yeah, whoever you're following and you think it looks
perfect, it's all a lie.
I can promise you that.
Just a couple more here whenthey are rude to waiters, total
mood killer for me.
If I see that it has to be abad day or something, or I'm out
.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
You should get out immediately yes because anybody
that's going to complain tosomebody that has 100 control of
your food.
Speaker 2 (25:29):
You have screwed up oh yeah, watch the movie waiting
.
Watch what happens when you'rea waitress.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
I know exactly what happens and that was in my bc
life yeah you piss me off at atable and me and the cook we're
on good terms.
I take your plate back to thecook.
You want to know what she said.
About your food Makes me thinkof True Blood.
Speaker 2 (25:57):
Yes, Lafayette, oh man.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
Here's your burger.
Hold the AIDS.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
Because he was gay.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
Oh my gosh, you don't do things like that.
I totally agree with this.
Come back with a lot of stuffthat you don't know what you're
eating in your food you mostcertainly will never know, or it
makes me think of the help yeswith the pie, the pie, the
chocolate pie.
My Great.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
Great scene.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
Oh man, Octavia Spencer, I love you.
Speaker 2 (26:35):
It was so, so great.
But I told you you can't berude to, you, shouldn't be rude
to any type of service staff atall Period.
Yeah, something going to messup everything.
Yes, absolutely no one'sperfect.
Speaker 1 (26:47):
It most certainly will, how many times have you
messed up Plenty.
And that's probably why you allget in some deep.
Speaker 2 (26:52):
Plenty.
So don't be rude to people.
Be kind to people.
Mistakes happen.
I think, overall, people wantto do a good job At whatever
they do and they will make itright.
All you got to do is be awareand just tell them and be kind
about it.
Speaker 1 (27:05):
And sometimes, if you're, if you're going to be A
bitty about it, you're going toget something in your food, but
if you're over the top niceabout it, you might get a little
extra something yeah, just say,just say simple dessert on the
house yeah, just a simple hey,this.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
This isn't necessarily what I ordered.
I got this.
Could I possibly you know whateasy done, so that's a big one.
I got two.
You, okay, playing hard to get.
When women play hard to get,they're playing that game that,
honestly, no man wants to play.
No man wants to play the gameof chasing.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
Give examples.
Speaker 2 (27:48):
No, just that.
That whole playing hard to getlike, yes, I'm interested, no,
now I'm not.
And yes, I'm interested, no,now I'm not.
Yes, I'm interested, no, nowI'm not.
And I've got the dates overhere and I got this.
Going on over here and justacting as if they're not really
interested.
But they really are interested,but they want to make you keep
chasing because that's a stupidgame that no one wants to play.
Ain't, no one got time for that.
Speaker 1 (28:09):
I feel that happens more now in today's world than
it might have when we wereyounger.
Speaker 2 (28:19):
Yeah, I can see that.
Well, because everyone'slooking for the next best thing,
you have situationships insteadof relationships.
Speaker 1 (28:25):
You always have the next person lined up.
Speaker 2 (28:29):
Always.
Speaker 1 (28:29):
And so the reason why they're playing hard to get is
because you probably are thenext one in line and they want
to make sure they can get youwhen that situation they're
currently in is done.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
Yeah, unfortunately it's known as the DOD, the dong
on deck.
Last one, can we just what?
Speaker 1 (28:58):
What last one?
What world d o d?
Speaker 2 (29:01):
setting up that next band that dong on deck, next
batter up am I that naive orsheltered?
Speaker 1 (29:15):
I did not know what that is maybe, maybe not.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
I think that was a covino and rich term back in the
day okay, the dod the dong ondeck.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
Write that down thank you, covino and rich last one.
Speaker 2 (29:28):
Every man will totally agree with this, and you
totally will too.
Oh boy, when they flirt andgive their attention to other
men and, when caught, try topretend like it was harmless and
we're overreacting, which willsometimes cause us to really
ponder on if we were over atoverreacting or not.
Why is it that women will flirtwith other men in front of
(29:50):
their man?
Why does that happen?
Speaker 1 (29:55):
I don't know.
I can safely say I have maybedone that two or three times,
but that was also in our article.
Speaker 2 (30:11):
Awful stages is also in our art form Awful stages.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
We see life where I'm going to have my cake and eat
it too.
Speaker 2 (30:20):
Right, and do you think that's where it comes from
?
Speaker 1 (30:28):
For me I don't have an answer because with you, you
I have everything I needed.
So mine was strictly for spite.
I can't answer for other women.
I could see where they would doit to make their husbands
jealous and see them desirablethat another man might want to
(30:53):
have something to do with themsee, and I could, I could see
that happening too.
Speaker 2 (30:57):
I could see, because they're not getting that
attention they want from theirhusband so they're gonna seek it
from somebody else and thatthat is a reality, like if we
don't give our spouses attention, they're totally going to find
it in other places.
Um, hence we need to Respectand pay attention to Our spouses
.
I can see where a woman wouldsay Well, I'm going to make him
realize he's got something andflirt a little bit.
Speaker 1 (31:20):
But you also have to Realize some women Just Flirt
Constantly.
Speaker 2 (31:33):
Well, men hate it.
Speaker 1 (31:34):
Well, you need to let your woman know that you see,
that's what you see, and youdon't like it.
Speaker 2 (31:42):
And if she loves you and respects you she'll realize
that and make sure it neverhappens again, which is all we
can ask for.
Everyone's allowed a mistakelike this, especially you talk
about it and you move past it.
Allowed a mistake like this,especially you talk about it and
you move past it.
It's the best way to do it easy.
So the things that men or womendo that drive men insane was
(32:02):
that supposed to be a man?
Speaker 1 (32:05):
of course those things drive me crazy too I
think anyone who you just said,of course, to me being a man no
I was processing differentthings in my head.
You were no, you're definitelynot a man I said was I supposed
to be a man?
I?
Speaker 2 (32:20):
can.
Of course, I can vouch for thatwait a minute.
Powers, of course these aregoing to infuriate you too,
because anyone who is in ahealthy relationship and loves
their spouse would think thesame thing like this is your,
your, you're crazy to do thisstupid stuff.
Speaker 1 (32:38):
You're crazy to do it it just shows me that you don't
want to be with the man you'rewith well that, and it's very,
very attention seeking, whichmen are not looking for.
Speaker 2 (32:48):
attention seeking men are looking for respect,
they're looking for a partner,they're looking for someone to
be with them through it all.
That's what men want.
Men don't want a woman seekingand seeking and seeking
attention.
Speaker 1 (33:01):
The best advice I can give to either people in the
relationship.
If you're not married and youhaven't known each other for a
long time and you're justmeeting someone, what kind of
car are they driving?
You're looking at me like whatare you talking about?
Because if you have a Maseratiand that's your car, you're
(33:27):
going to be high maintenance.
That is a high maintenance car.
You can't just go to any oilchange place and get that
Maserati service.
You're going to have to go tothe main dealer.
That's not readily availablefor everyone everywhere.
Speaker 2 (33:44):
Can't just run down to Express and get that knocked
out.
I see where you're going.
Speaker 1 (33:49):
If you got that Toyota Camry.
Speaker 2 (33:53):
Metacord.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
Those kind of cars, you're going to be able to
understand and put things inperspective, but if you're
driving around in a ToyotaCorolla with a Maserati taste,
mm-mm.
Yeah, that could be a problem,you're driving that Toyota
(34:16):
Corolla, but you're acting likeyou got Maserati money.
Speaker 2 (34:20):
That's even a bigger problem.
Speaker 1 (34:21):
That's a red flag.
Speaker 2 (34:22):
It's a huge red flag.
I like that.
No, it does kind of tell youmaintenance-wise, hey, how high
maintenance is this going to be?
Speaker 1 (34:30):
Look at their shoes.
How often do you really lookMan's shoes?
Speaker 2 (34:37):
No one looked at Andy Dufresne's shoes.
That's why he busted on out ofprison, wore the warden's shoes.
Any final thoughts?
Speaker 1 (34:45):
I love you.
Speaker 2 (34:45):
I love you too, god.
We love you.
We are so thankful.
I know we say it often, butthis is yours and we're just
thankful that you've trusted uswith it and we trust you to do
whatever you want with it.
We will continue to obey youand do what you want forever.
And God, we just want to prayover every person, people who
are walking through things,people who are seeing
difficulties.
If any of these things that wetalked about today are relevant
(35:09):
in someone's life, god, I justpray that you open up the doors
to have a conversation andyou'll be in the midst of the
conversation to help peoplenavigate through this, to be
able to have the purpose and thelife and the marriage and the
relationship that you wantedthem to have, because that's who
you are and you are good, andwe love you in Jesus name, amen.
Speaker 1 (35:26):
Amen Play ball.
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