Bonus Episode| Tales of California Love

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, hi, it's me Mama Q.
I welcome you to Moments in Q.
Let me interview you.
Bonus episode in Q Today how Iand Tales of how I.
I give you the greeting of theday and I'm explaining the why

(00:21):
of this episode.
Happy Deuce, several Deuce quadHappy 2024.
A friendly reminder I willreturn in February.
In the meantime, in betweentime, let me talk about this
bonus episode.
I interviewed my sister Tam.
She's a natural on the mic.
I talk about her being a boy,mom, a wife, a content creator

(00:43):
and a former vegan.
You know I talked about who doas well.
I even answered her questionsshe had about it.
Tales of these interviews, firstand foremost, are for our
ancestors and descendants.
I want to honor the ancestorsand the spiritual practice of

(01:06):
who do by talking about ourancestors by their name and
explaining what this practicemeans to us.
Then I want the descendants tolearn more about their family
members in hopes of learningsomething new about our family
to share with future descendants.
In short, a time capsule, ifyou will, for all to hear.
Besides, people per go when youtalk about them, so that's a

(01:26):
bonus too.
Today's episode is brought toyou by this quote.
Every time I speak.
I want the truth to come outEvery time I speak.
I want a shiver by Tupac Shakur.
Hey, hi, it's me, mama Q.

(01:50):
All right, I have my sisterhere, tam Want to say hey to the
people?
Hey, yeah.
So my sister is here and we'regoing to interview.
So I'm super excited.
You ready, ready, all right.
So I have two warmer questionsI ask everybody.
There's no right or wronganswer to it, so we're just
going to go with it, all right.

(02:11):
What is who do to you when youhear that word?

Speaker 2 (02:13):
OK.
So first, I never heard Well, Inever.
Every time I hear, who do Ithink voodoo?
I think everybody thinks thesame thing.
They don't know, you know.
Yeah, yeah, I usually thinklike I don't think, like maybe
it's, I think it's me, I thinkit's just in relation to voodoo.
Ok, so I would think like maybeyou know, you know how people

(02:36):
are scared of voodoo, you know,when you told me what it was, I
just complete you know it's notthe same.
And I was like, ok, you know,it's good to be educated on that
.
So, yeah, I never really knewwhat it was at all.

Speaker 1 (02:47):
Yeah, I'm sure they learned it.
Then a lot of people think it'svoodoo and it's no big deal.
They're.
They're similar as far as thewords, but, as I told people
before, for the most part voodoois pronounced voodoo, which is.
It's fine if you don't put theaccent on or what not, but it's
a religion.
And whereas some people thinkthat who do is a religion, some

(03:10):
people do.
I don't.
I just view it as aspirituality and its ancestral
veneration, whereas when peopledo practice voodoo, that that
involves different deitiescalled lullas, and that's about
all that I know, because I don'tpractice it.
So no biggie, but a lot ofpeople think that that's what it
is, so it's all good.
Yeah, all right.
The next question is name amoment where you can make this

(03:31):
ish up when it comes to yourspirituality or religion, where
to you there was no denying of aGod, a higher power, whatever
words you want to use.
So what I mean by that if thatdoesn't make that much sense is
that on this path of who do forme, and whether you're a
Christian or not, that partdoesn't matter, so you can say
God, jesus, whomever, it's nobiggie to me, but with me, with

(03:52):
who do on this path, there'sjust been things that I'm just
like you cannot make this ish up.
So, for example, yesterday athought came into my head to
check the mailbox and I didn'tget a chance to do it, no big
deal, ok.
So my boo thing, love of my MikeFox, try life.
And I went to the grocery storeand when we came back I said,
hey, can you check the mailbox?

(04:13):
So we drove by the mailbox andall our mailboxes are fucked up,
ok, like.
But the one next to mine is onthe ground and mine is just yeah
, and mine is just chillingright there with the other
mailboxes on the other side ofit, leaning to the left, and so
for me it was one of those.
You can't make this ish upbecause it's like all of the

(04:34):
other mailboxes are out of whackor destroyed on the ground,
literally in my understanding.
So hopefully they helped you,so did they help.

Speaker 2 (04:44):
So basically what is?
Can you ask a question?

Speaker 1 (04:47):
Oh OK, no problem, maybe OK, so name a moment where
you can't make this ish up whenit comes to your spirituality
or religion, where, to you,there was no denying of a God
higher power whichever word youwant to use exists.

Speaker 2 (05:00):
I don't know.
I guess would like, everythinghappens for a reason.
Yeah, yeah, I, I definitelybelieve in that.
As far as you know, everythinghappens for a reason.
Manifesting things, yeah,especially manifesting things,
aspen's like by the all the timejust manifesting things, just
everything that we manifest, Imean, if you really believe it,

(05:23):
it's happening.
You know what I mean, you canactually live it and I just feel
like with that, just even withmy moves, with us moving, we
manifest it every time, evenwhat we want to do, yeah, you to
different things, and you knowthat my husband wants to do you
know, manifest it, and it's been.
you know it works.
So, yeah, I feel like thatthat's yeah pretty much.

Speaker 1 (05:44):
Yeah, you know that answers it because you know,
with the whole manifestationthing which, yeah, we'll talk
about that probably a little bitmore.
Yeah, so you grew up on thewest side of the United States,
cali.
So I know I had talked this toyour mom before but I never got
a chance to ask you.
So, growing up in California,did you learn or know about any

(06:07):
type of things dealing with whodo or who do or whatnot?
Like you know, don't eateverybody's spaghetti, or you
know, don't allow anybody tosweep your feet.
Did your mom or any of yourfamily members or just anybody?
Yeah, not at all.

Speaker 2 (06:24):
It's when I moved to Tennessee.
That's when I heard the don'tsweep your feet.
Yeah, like just so manydifferent.
You know it's completelydifferent when you're from.
You know, when you live in theWest Coast and then you live,
you know, in the South it'scompletely different.
Even you know my husband isfrom the South.
You know, he's from the South,yeah, and I've been.
You know different places aswell, yeah, and just us

(06:45):
comparing, like our upbringingand different things, it's like
you know, wow you know, justlike, if there is a difference,
like we're all black, so we'reconnected in a way, but it's
still, you know, different.
So I've never heard sweep underyour feet, I've never heard the
spaghetti one either.
What is it again?

Speaker 1 (07:00):
Okay, so all right.
So first of all, my granny mygranny, she talked about it.
So growing up she had said foryou can't eat everybody's
spaghetti, and so like,supposedly because the spaghetti
sauce is red, a person whoministrates could put their

(07:21):
ministration in there and thentheir lover eats it.
Oh yeah, they can have controlover it.
Oh, wow, yeah.
And so like.
I'm sure you heard of some ofProject Pet's songs, so like,
and one of his songs he was likevoodoo spaghetti or something.
I had talked about it on one ofmy episodes.
It's not a big deal or whatever, but like just little things

(07:42):
like that.
And then sweeping of the feetis like you sweep over
somebody's protection so peoplewill spit on it and stuff.
Just so like, ok, no, you can'ttake away my protection or my
blessings and stuff like that.
So yeah, and so when I had toldyour mom that I practice who do
?
Yeah, she had.
I think she said she had heardof some of the things because of

(08:03):
her parents or maybegrandparents would have you.

Speaker 2 (08:06):
OK, we're from the south.

Speaker 1 (08:08):
Oh, ok, so, yeah, so she had heard of it or whatever.
And so even talking to my boothing, love of my life, born and
raised in Memphis, tennessee,and he had heard of it and I
just assumed that, especiallyfor a subna, that we had heard
these things.
But I'm starting to learn likeno, no, and it's all good.
Who do came from when theenslaved Africans were forced to

(08:34):
come over to America, some ofthem brought their religion with
them, which is where a voodoocomes from, and also some of
them mixed some of theirreligion I hope I'm not Miss,
miss, not Miss pronunciation,but Miss speaking on it but they
, they use, some of they use theBible.
Some of them use the Biblebecause that was all that some

(08:56):
of them were able to read andthey use that to come back
against dealing with massive andstuff.
And so, because my assumptionis because most of the enslaved
Africans were in the South,because that's all there was, I
guess, quote unquote aroundduring that time then most of
the who do came from southernersand then when everybody

(09:17):
migrated, whether they migratedto Shaitan or if they migrated
to Cali, you know they may ormay not have brought some of
that stuff, but yeah, it's allgood, I just find it interesting
.

Speaker 2 (09:27):
I like it, that is.

Speaker 1 (09:28):
Yeah, ok, so I know I'm asking questions about you
and your background withspirituality, if any, but do you
have any questions about someof the spiritual things I do,
such as Reiki?
Who do anything like that?

Speaker 2 (09:42):
Yeah, so what made you get into?
You know who do and everything.
That's a good question, ok,because I know you know before I
never heard you talk about it.

Speaker 1 (09:52):
Yeah, ok, so how did I?
All right?
So I was always curious aboutit.
And then do you remember themovie Skellington Key?
I can't remember from off thetop of my head who was in
Skellington Key, but SkellingtonKey, that movie I won't say
early 2000s, I can't remember,but the movie Skellington Key

(10:14):
had talked about the differencebetween who do and who do and it
kind of like.
I was like huh, I wonder whatit is.
And then I read about it andjust dismissed it.
And then, when I finally wasdone with Christianity, what
happened was my meeting me wasborn.
When she was born, obviouslymonths later, her paternal side

(10:35):
they were Catholics, so she wasbaptized, and so I'm not very
familiar with Catholicism.
But the next step, I forgotwhat was the next step for her.
So we went to our localCatholic church, or whatever
they call it, and the fatherwhatever his title would be
cared more about the fact thatif I was married to her father,

(10:58):
then caring about her soul, andthat really pissed me off.
So I started to break away fromit.
And then, during COVID, some way, somehow and this is the part
that I can't think of the exactmoment, but some way somehow a
friend of mine had sent me abook.
No, sent me to this websitecalled House of Houdou.

(11:19):
They are in New Orleans and sowhen I went on their website,
they had this book called 365Days of Houdou.
So I was like huh.
So I read that and, ironically,the person who wrote it
obviously some years before me,but the author, stephanie Bird,
had graduated from the samecollege as me.

(11:40):
And that was like a what, maybethis is meant to be or whatever
like that.
And so I just started readingabout it.
And so I started reading andlearning about it.
I realized that I had beenpracticing Houdou my entire life
.
My ex at the time that fucker,he that fucker, oh my gosh.
He had lost both of his parentsat a young age and, as I was

(12:02):
growing up with my maternal side, we had no problems talking
about spirituality withoutlinking it to Houdou.
You know, we would talk aboutoh, I had a dream about fishes
or something that means somebodyprayed.
Oh, I had a dream that aneighbor across the street was
talking to me, but he's dead.
So that scared me, just allthis stuff.
So it was just normal to me andwhen I was with my ex, I had

(12:24):
asked him like, hey, you know,your parents had passed at a
young age.
Do they visit you in your dreams?
He was like no, and that's whenand that is so crazy, cause,
again, that was like 2019, 2020,when I learned like, oh, not
everybody experienced this andstuff like that, so it's just
started connecting to me.
So I can't like pinpoint theexact date and time that I

(12:46):
started this, but I just knowthat, like, once I started
learning about it, it just mademe feel like yo, this is where I
belong.
And for me, and only me, itfelt more of where I belong in
comparison to Christianity,cause when I was practicing
Christianity, I really didn'tfeel like I belonged, but you
know, yeah, yeah, you definitelyhave to.

Speaker 2 (13:07):
You know, go with what you feel you know is right,
that's, you know what you feelcomfortable with.

Speaker 1 (13:11):
Yeah, you know what I mean.
Okay, sorry about that, I hadforgotten.
My speaker was plugged up so Iwas telling you how, for me,
christianity just didn't sitwell with me and I interrupted
your train of thought.
But you can go back.
Sorry about that?

Speaker 2 (13:27):
No, that's okay.
No, but as far as that, yeah,like I was saying, I feel like
you know.
Whatever's for you, it's goingto be for you.
You know, I feel like ifsomething is calling you you
know higher power or anything Ifeel like you should go with
that.
If you have bad experiences inChristianity which a lot of

(13:49):
people do, you know either, youknow, but yeah, I feel like you
know.
Even if you do, you knowworship.
I mean believe in Christianity.
I feel like you can worship,you know your higher power at
home or wherever.
You don't have to go to church,you don't have to give money,
you don't have to.
You know, I feel like you know.

(14:11):
Of course, church is a business.
So, yeah, yeah, but yeah, so Ifeel like yeah.

Speaker 1 (14:16):
Yeah, that makes sense.
It works for you.
Yeah, because I've said beforeon the podcast that a person can
be a Christian and practiceHulu.
My ancestors are okay with menot putting Christianity within
my Hulu practice, and what Imean by that is, like some
people, they will use differentverses within Psalms to talk,

(14:42):
which is fine, but it's not arequirement for them.
So that's what I mean.
So, but yeah, I like youranswer because all my good yeah,
no judgment.

Speaker 2 (14:52):
I hate the judgment Like no yeah, good, good, I've
never been that type of personto you know.
Judge people on, you know whatthey believe is not as yeah, I
appreciate it.

Speaker 1 (15:02):
Yeah, yeah, cause who we?
At least on my maternal side,some of them.
Oh my gosh, my uncle.
All he cared about was, did Ibelieve in God or not?
And that's like everybody's bigthing and it's like, yeah, I do
believe in God.
People who practice Hinduismbelieve in God.
That doesn't mean yeah.

(15:23):
Yeah, they don't mean we'retalking about the same quote,
unquote, god per se.
And then when I this pastweekend, when we were over our
dad's house, yeah, surprisinglyour cousin I was explaining who
do?
I can't remember if you werestill out there in a patio and
the oldest, the eldest cousin,surprisingly she didn't have

(15:44):
anything to say about it.
So that made me happy that sofar, at least on our paternal
side, nobody's judging.
I really like to be aroundpeople who aren't judging,
because it's like I'm not.
I do talk some mess aboutChristianity, but that's just
because some of them say what Ido is demonic and we're doing
similar things.
But aside from that, Ipersonally, again, don't care

(16:05):
how people practice, as long asthey're not like, as long as
they're not harming me or anyother person, obviously.
But Christianity, hinduism,everything in between practice,
believe nothing at all.
Fine with me.
Right, exactly.

Speaker 2 (16:24):
We all believe in the same thing, the world wouldn't
be as divertient.
Yeah, exactly, see you get it.

Speaker 1 (16:30):
Yeah, yeah, okay.
So we're gonna now, we're gonnaswitch gears a little bit and
we're gonna talk about you inyour hobby, okay?
So first question is how didyou and your husband meet?

Speaker 2 (16:43):
Well, okay, so we actually took a college course
together.
We went to a local communitycollege here together and we
were in the same class I thinkit was for English or something.
I think it was English and Ialways thought he was cute and I
was like, oh, he's cute.
He was always goofy and sillyor whatever.
So I'm like he's cute, we never.

(17:03):
We used to say hi andeverything, but it was nothing
like that.
So later, after we were donewith that class, I ended up
going to the Plush Club yourPlush.

Speaker 1 (17:14):
Club.

Speaker 2 (17:16):
Oh, yes, I know the Plush Club.
So we went there and I wasthere with my friend my two, you
know.
Yeah, you two besties, yeah,yeah and we went and I saw him
in the crowd with his friend andI was like it's.
And I told my friend I was likethat's, you know, that's the
guy from my class I told youabout, or whatever.

(17:37):
And she was like oh, okay.
And she was like whatever girl,she was drinking up, so I'm
gonna say hi.
So I went over there and say hiand he hugged me.
He's drawn.
So he hugged me and everythingand he asked for my number and
the rest is history.
Oh, wow.
So yeah, ever since then.
So yeah, been rocking sincewhew, what year.

Speaker 1 (18:01):
Yeah, yeah, because let's see y'all celebrating
y'all 11 years anniversary,whoop, whoop.
So that should we're in 23.
So that should mean 20.
Wait, 2002?
No, Wait, 11 years I graduatedhigh school in 2005.

(18:22):
Oh shoot.
Oh my goodness, my math sucks.
I mean it's 12.
Dynish, wait, hold up 11 years.
Wait.
I got a.
Oh my gosh, I feel embarrassed.
We're in 2023 minus 11.
2012.
Ok, my bad I don't know why Isaid 2002.
I am really like stuck.
I'm a decade behind.
Ok, so, all right.
So that's when y'all got.

(18:43):
So y'all got together 2009.
And then you got married in2011.
2012.
, 12.
Oh, and just right there on myphone 2012.
Ok, ok.
So for some people I know, tome that's a long time.

Speaker 2 (18:59):
For real.

Speaker 1 (18:59):
For real because it's more than a decade.
So do you have any advice youwant to give to people about
married life?
Oh, and one more thing.
So in 2009, how old were you?
Hold on 2012.
I was 29.
And I think I'm five yearsolder than you 2000.

Speaker 2 (19:16):
No, I was in 24 when I had him.
I was 22.

Speaker 1 (19:19):
OK, ok, so, wow, so y'all were with y'all sales with
the 20s or whatever.
So, ok, really, wow, ok, so,yeah, yeah.
So do you have any advice outthere, especially for people who
get married quote unquote earlyin their 20s and or people like
just making it over a decade,because to me that's something

(19:41):
to be proud of?

Speaker 2 (19:41):
Yes, I feel like communication.
For sure.
We talk about everything.
He's literally my best friend.
So everything, everything, evenstuff you don't want to hear
about, you're going to hearabout it, and I definitely think
a huge one is you actually haveto like your partner.
Like a lot of people say oh, Ilove you.

(20:03):
I love you.
Love you is great, but you haveto like that person or you're
not going to want to be aroundthat person.
Me and my husband we spend.
We make sure we have a dayEvery week.
I'm off on a certain day and hemakes sure he's off on that day
because we don't really havemuch help with the kids.
So we make sure that that dayis our day.

(20:26):
We go have coffee, we go properfor our laptops together and do
something productive, we workout together.
We know just things like that.
But I feel like you definitelyhave to like your partner, that
nobody really says that they'relike oh, you got to love him.
Make sure you love him.
If you love him, stay with him.
Like you have to like yourpartner and we like each other a
lot.

Speaker 1 (20:47):
I'm realizing that with my boo thing is that we can
be around each other all thetime not doing anything.
Yeah, and when I was with my exand I know I'm not supposed to
compare, but what I'm quote,unquote, yeah, and what I'm
quote, unquote, comparing islike because those were

(21:07):
unhealthy relationships and thisone is a healthy relationship.
So I'm just like I guess that'sjust the way my brain is wired
to quote, unquote, compare andbe like how in the world did you
not see these signs that y'allshouldn't have been together?
And I know that that's whatdoes they say?
Hindsight is 20, 20 orsomething like that, blah, blah.
And so when I was with my ex, Iwould always require us to have

(21:32):
I'm an introvert, so I wouldalways want to have introvert
time.
30 minutes, leave me the fuckalone, whatever, whatever.
I believe that my boo thing isan introvert, so it kind of
works for us.
But I really, really enjoybeing around him.
Like he drives me bananasbecause he's petty, which is

(21:53):
fine, but drives me bananaswhere he's like OK, boo thing,
because we call each other boothing.
I'm about to go poop or, as hesaid, I'm about to go drop the
kids off, and I'm like and he'slike do you want to hold my hand
?
No, I don't want to fuckinghold your hand.
But as gross as that is, Ithink that goes with what you
said with being close to eachother and wanting to be around

(22:16):
each other.
Yeah, you get grossed out by it.
But I mean, if you're in amarriage, you're going to have
those moments where, like, y'allare doing all these quote
unquote gross things togetherpassing gas, diarrhea, throwing
up from drinking too much, likeall of that stuff.
So yeah, it's true?

Speaker 2 (22:36):
Yeah, for sure.

Speaker 1 (22:37):
So I remember you had said earlier that well, not
during this interview, but likesometimes we've talked about
your hubby and you had said he'san introvert and I think you're
an extrovert.

Speaker 2 (22:54):
Are you Somewhat?
Yeah, I get introvert moments,but yeah, I could say I'm more.

Speaker 1 (23:01):
So I know you just kind of spoke on it a little bit
on how, like y'all said, asidefrom time y'all still talk and
stuff like that.
But I sometimes wonder how doesthat work?
Because I know there'sdifferent levels to people being
introverts and extroverts.
But I guess if he's anintrovert, where he sometimes
likes to be by himself, and ifyou're an extrovert, where you

(23:23):
like to talk and stuff like that, how does that work for y'all?

Speaker 2 (23:28):
I think we kind of both read each other a little
bit with him.
I respect what he wants to do.
Sometimes he'll just go off,he'll go in the patio and just
sit out there.
He'll read or he'll listen tomusic, and I just let him.
I'm not going to be like, oh, Isee you out here, what are you
doing?
Let's do something.
Actually, it doesn't bother meat all because I just go do what

(23:49):
I do.
I'm not like a super talker andwith him I guess some people
are more introverted aroundcertain people too, when they're
not in a comfortableenvironment and it's like yeah,
but as far as that, most of thetime, I mean, he opens up to me,
probably the most, of course.
So we talk a lot.
So he doesn't seem like he'susually introverted around me

(24:11):
where it's like, ok, that'senough.
But he'll have his moments intime where he's like, yeah, I
feel like he has become moreintroverted just since the
military.

Speaker 1 (24:20):
Oh, ok.
Yes, Look at you.
All of this stuff.
We are going in a nice likewhat's the word segue?
Ok, so he was from the militaryand you were his spouse.
How was military spouse lifelike?
Oh it?

Speaker 2 (24:39):
was amazing, I feel like when we were living the
military life it brought uscloser as a family.
So that was before my youngestwas born.
So it was just me, my oldestand him and Alaska yeah, our way
.
So I feel like we got closertogether.
That was the first Thanksgivingwe spent together.

(25:00):
We actually did everything.
We cooked everything.
He did turkey.
It brought us closer togetheras far as just doing certain
things.
We go outside together.
We would just.
It was just us.
So I feel like when thathappens, things like that, you
get isolated with that person.
That's how you really find them.
You like somebody.

Speaker 1 (25:20):
Yes, yes, absolutely yeah.

Speaker 2 (25:23):
So it worked out really great and I feel like
that's a big part of our life asfar as experiencing that.
At the time you get tired ofthe cold, the snow and it's like
a family release.
You get a dirt depressionperiod.
But when you think back on itor when we think back on it I'll
speak on myself.
When I think back on it Ireally appreciate that and I

(25:47):
miss those times.
And he says it too.
We miss that.
You want to go visit a lot Like, yeah, we'll go again one day
to visit, but it's like, yeah,you think about that.
Just the different restaurants.
It was still cozy out there.
It was so cold, and therestaurants it made sure it was
cozy, Different places.
It was just it was nice here.

Speaker 1 (26:06):
How my experience I remember I forgot when, but I
remember you said that at onepoint it was the sun was like
24-7.
How was that like?

Speaker 2 (26:18):
That's during the summer.
The summer, yeah, that wasn'tbad, it was actually nice it was
.
The winter was the one that waslike when it was dark during
the day I would drop my oldestson off at school and it'd be
dark.
It'd pick him up.
It's dark.
You get like a little period ofsunlight during the day or
maybe like look like it's goingto rain, but other than that,

(26:40):
yeah, the summer is more of apick you up, like people
clubbing.
They like out at you knowwatching, and like who wants to
come outside of a club, and it'slike no, I'm tired.
I know I look ugly, I don'teven want to be seen, but yeah,
it's different.
For sure, the summer was nice,though.
We really liked the summer,yeah.

Speaker 1 (27:01):
Now do you miss up your sleep?
Where it's like 2 o'clock inthe morning, where your body is
like I want to be sleep, butit's sunlight?
No, not really.

Speaker 2 (27:10):
OK, some people recommended that we buy those
blackout curtains.
Yeah, but we never reallyneeded them.
We just closed like we had thepanel blinds, kind of.
Oh OK.
We just closed them and thatwasn't bad.
Ok, yeah, because I rememberyou showed it wasn't like super
sunny or anything.
Oh, ok yeah, not all the time.

Speaker 1 (27:26):
Oh, OK, Because I remember you had showed us this
was a wild bag.
See, I can remember certainthings but I can't tell you
yesterday.
But I remember you had showedus a picture.
You was like it's whatever timein the morning, yeah, and you
see the sunlight.
I'm like what you mean, Like itwas scary.

Speaker 2 (27:40):
When it first happened it was like this is
crazy yeah.

Speaker 1 (27:44):
So all right, OK.
So the next thing is that Iwant to talk a little bit more
about family life.
So you are a self-mom with abonus child and growing up you
were the bonus child with dadand of course your mom brought

(28:06):
you into the relationship andstuff.
So do you think that havingthat experience and then I'm
also going to talk about our dadbeing in military, but I'll put
a pin in that one but do youthink growing up in an extended
family like you did, did youthink that helped you kind of
like, I guess, go into being astepmom, because I know it's not

(28:29):
you, but I know that sometimessome families have difficulties
having an extended family orwhatever, and I know to expect,
but because you grew up in that,do you think that that kind of
helped you be prepared for it?
100%?

Speaker 2 (28:44):
I definitely think that had a huge part of me,
which is family is family.
Dad, always family is family.
You know what I mean.
No matter what that's family, Idon't care where it came from,
you were adopted, you weremarried in whatever he always
made it family is family.
So I've always treated her likethat's my.

(29:06):
I'm getting my oldest and I'mgetting her this.
You're going to be equals ornot too far in age and I just
always it's like in me.
It's kind of hard to explain.
Like I know I've dealt withsome women that are like
stepchild.

(29:27):
I'm not.
You know, you, the stepchildfeels some type of way yeah, you
know, and I've experienced thatand I would never want her to
experience.
I would never want her to feellike that.
I would never want her to feellike oh, I don't feel like I'm
welcome here, don't feel likeI'm annoying.
I feel like I'm not equal todoing more for your child than
it, you know, than me, or Iwould never do that.

(29:49):
Like I know how that feels.
Yeah, I would never make herfeel like that.
I always even just like, noteven because of that.
It just kind of seems naturalto be like and she's sweet,
she's yeah, she's, yeah, forsure, she's part of our family.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (30:06):
Yeah, I like that, yeah, yeah, because for me
before I met my boo thing likepeople had talked mess about me
because I only had many of meand so I didn't want to be with
someone who had a child, and allof my relationships except the
last one, they didn't havechildren.
And, first of all, people talkshit about it, like you are a

(30:28):
whole entire mom and how.
And I was like for me, I didn'twant to have anymore.
For sure, once I got mytwo-sided I didn't want to have
anymore.
So it's messed up, as otherpeople thought.
I was like I'm done, especiallyas she had gotten older or
whatever.
And so when I was with my ex,there was a seven year

(30:50):
difference between him and I.
I was the oldest and, if I'mnot mistaken, there was a seven
year difference between hischild and mine and of course,
there were two different genders.
He had a boy, I have a girl.
So it was difficult because Ikind of wanted to be like how
your mom treated me.
I wanted to treat his son aspart of the family, even though

(31:13):
we weren't married, we're in arelationship, but I wanted to
accept him as my own and Iwanted to have a great
relationship with the mom.
And I didn't get none of that.
Like it took forever for me tomeet the mom.
The mom didn't even want tomeet me.
It was like I trust you with myson.
It's like, yeah, wouldn't youwant to meet me?
Right, and it's like I get itthat you trust the father and

(31:36):
that's great, but wouldn't youwant to meet me, yeah, and when
we had went to Louisville,kentucky, they have like a theme
park and his child wanting togo to Kitty Land and my child
being a teenager like what thefuck are we doing in Kitty Land?
So had to deal with thatseparation and not getting the

(31:59):
support and the differentthought processes of how to
raise ones.
And I was like you know, Ican't do this again.
And so the chat out to theancestors that my boo thing
don't have any.
And I know that could soundmessed up, but I want to speak
my truth and be honest because Ifeel like there's some people
out there who can talk to me andsay, oh, you know you shouldn't

(32:20):
be that way, but I don't know.
I like the people who arehonest, honest.

Speaker 2 (32:24):
I'm the one you need to listen to, right, like, just
tell me how it is, yeah exactly.

Speaker 1 (32:29):
So how was the experience coming into the
family with, with our dad andwhat I mean by that is, of
course, coming in as a bonusshow, of course, and then having
to travel the world with him?
We're not to say like, oh, youjust met, I just met you, man,
and now I'm about to travel theworld.

(32:50):
I hate to make it sound likethat, but I know that.
I know that when dad and yourmom got married, time had passed
and then y'all had moved toOkinawa, if I'm not mistaken,
texas first, texas first, okay,so y'all had moved from Cali to
Texas, then from Texas.
Eventually y'all moved over,because that's what the military
does Move you over.

(33:11):
So like, how was that wholeexperience where it's like you
have your mom, which is awesome,and so I'm pretty sure, I'm
assuming that you liked dad butlike it's like what the fuck?
I just met you, basically, Ijust met you, and now I'm moving
across the world with you,right?

Speaker 2 (33:25):
Well, I guess I'll say from what I remember I was
so young, I guess it's alwayslike I said, how dad is, his
family is family and he's alwaysmade me feel like family.
So I never felt weird, like oh,I'm going with this stranger.
I know I'm going with my parents, I'm moving, and it's just

(33:47):
always.
I never felt like I just was astepchild.
Basically I always felt likethat's a super comfortable day,
you know I could talk to himabout anything, all that like
you do.
Yeah, poor heart, hold on, eventhough you don't want to hear
it.
I feel like that's what it felt, like it never felt.

(34:08):
And then I was so young too, soI don't think I, from what I
remember, and I was a reallyoutgoing child.
Yeah, like talkative, supertalkative, and you used to get
in trouble for something, yeah.
So yeah, I feel like it didn'teven feel weird.
It felt like I'm just moving myparents.

Speaker 1 (34:25):
Oh, okay, yeah, yeah, because, like like for me, when
it comes to, yeah, your familyis family, even though your mom
and my dad, our dad, I'm sorryeven though your mom and our dad
have since divorced.
Like, you are my sister forlife.
Now sometimes I do tell peopleyou're my step sister, only so
that it could, it could quotethem, quote, make sense.

(34:47):
Because they're like yeah,they're like wait, oh, yeah,
whatever.
And then with our youngestbrother, I know woo wee, and I
blame the woman that gave birthto me because I don't call her
mom, because she's not worthy ofthat title, but I blame her a
little bit because she talks somuch shit about our dad.

(35:12):
And unfortunately, as a child,I believed because you know why
would she lie to me?
And I think that that messed upmy relationship with you.
And then when our youngerbrother came into the world, he
was like that's your brother.
And I'm like, no, no, it's not,or whatever.
And now I think differently.
And so that was, for me, onereason why, even though things
didn't work out with my child'sfather, I always told them you

(35:35):
are not going to talk shit abouthim in front of her at the end
of the day.
Now, unfortunately be right,unfortunately she knows that he
was abusive and it's not like metrying to like tarnish him in a
bad way.
It was number one Me sharingthat with her in case and I know
this sounds effed up, but again, that's my truth is, in case he

(35:57):
wanted to be on some life, yourmom kept me away and I've never
kept him away from her.
It's just we would go up to seehim.
Sometimes he would care,sometimes he wouldn't, and he
has always been welcome to comehere to visit.
I just need to know and when shewas younger she couldn't speak.
Of course it was going to besupervised, because I don't know

(36:18):
If you, you, did these thingsto me and I can't prove it.
I think he might have didsomething to her when she's a
baby, but I can't prove that.
But I know he did things to me,so it was just my way of
protecting.
Yeah, oh, whatever, um, butlike nobody will ever talk, miss
, I even told her that I don'tcare too much for our dad's side
of the family and I told heragain that as long as they treat

(36:42):
her with respect, I don't carein the sense of like cause.
Like you just said, family isfamily and stuff.

Speaker 2 (36:48):
So, um, yeah, and just so she doesn't um, you know
, just in case she gets in thatsituation when she gets older.
You want her to know what itlooks like.

Speaker 1 (36:58):
Yeah, mom got out of it.
Don't you deal with that?
Oh, don't you Exactly?
And it's just like I don't know.
Um, I say it all that earlierto say that I think that some,
some, some children areimpressionable and, um, I'll
never know the truth.
The part of me feels like ifthe woman that gave birth to me
with would have been moreinviting um with your mom, like

(37:23):
how you are inviting with yourbonus child's mom, and how
inviting I was when I was um ina relationship with someone who
had a child, I think that thatcould have made our relationship
.
I mean, it's great now, but Ithink that could have helped
make the relationship better andstuff.
So, um, yeah, so this ain'tgonna make me upset, no matter

(37:45):
what you say.
Don't, don't um hold back.
Wow, being my steps.
Oh, how was it?

Speaker 2 (37:53):
Let me, I just ran, I ain't gonna be mad cause, oh my
gosh.
I can take it.
No, it's okay.
I know we grow, things happen,we're younger, we're
impressionable, we believe ourparents, we listen to everything
.
So I definitely don't fall herefor anything.
But I do remember that one timeyou flipped my popcorn over and
then we were in Texas.

(38:15):
Of course, I don't rememberthat.
No, it was so funny, though.
Like when you think back you'relike man, I'm glad that we're
in a place that we are now.
You know, Like he said, ourkids are cousins.
I love that, but no, no, we'rehard.
I bounce back so quick and Iforget people, like something.
But that wasn't even anything.

Speaker 1 (38:37):
I feel bad.
I'm serious.
I think that's the way that I'mwired to feel bad about growth
instead of celebrating thegrowth, like, okay, yeah, you
might have not gotten along withyour brother and your step
sister, but look at the growthnow, right, and stuff.
But yeah, I remember again inTexas.
I remember like I was mad atyou because your mom had cut

(38:58):
some cake and so she cut twoslices for us.
Oh, remember that One slice waslike a regular slice and
another slice it had fell intothe plate, so it was like one
slice here.
Oh, yeah, I'm acting like y'allcan.

Speaker 2 (39:12):
Actually see this.

Speaker 1 (39:13):
All I'm doing is giving her a visual description
of the slices.
So it was just one cake slicebut because it had fell, it came
as two slices and you got thepick first and I knew you were
going to get those two slicesthat looked like one I was
living.
Oh my God, I still look cakeytoday.
So yeah, I was just like wow.

Speaker 2 (39:35):
I don't remember that .
That's crazy.
It's crazy the things that weremember.
Yeah, certain things.
That's like the only thing Iremember as far as you being
like.
You know, upset it was just thepopcorn.
I think I don't even remember.
I just remember sitting on thefloor in the living room and I
don't know, you got mad atsomething.
You flipped the ball over and Iwas mad like it is totapoca.

Speaker 1 (39:58):
Oh, that's funny, oh my God.
Yeah, and like I've told not tolike listen, you being her
auntie, but again, because onetime she was very confused
because she had saw your mom andstuff and she's like I don't
get how that's your sister, andwait, hold up, hold up.

(40:21):
And then granddad was married.
I'm so confused.
And then so I had explained toher, you know, because, oh, and
on top of that our youngerbrother, so it just really
didn't make any sense.
She was all the way confused,like how was this auntie, how's
this uncle?
And then they share the samemom but not the same dad, and
what, oh my gosh.
And so I explained to her likeI had said like yeah, you know,

(40:44):
at one point your granddad andTam's mom had gotten married
there since divorce and stuff.
But yeah, I've known her sinceshe was four, something along
those lines, and that willalways be my sister and stuff.
Do the boys know that?

Speaker 2 (41:01):
the younger one.
The younger one, he doesn'treally know, he just knows about
us.
So he just, yeah, you know,because he still communicates
with my biological father.

Speaker 1 (41:11):
Yeah, so yeah, okay, so yeah, yeah, like I said, I
only shared that part with my mejust to be on some like in case
you look at me weird and Iunderstand what's going on.
But yeah, at the end of the daythat's still sister and stuff
like that.
So, yeah, let's see.
Oh, speaking of the boys, youhave two of them and the oldest

(41:35):
one is starting to get older.
How are you handling that withthe voice getting deeper in the
pitchforks?
Because let me tell you, likewhen I saw the oldest in
September and I heard his voice,I was like wait already, didn't
it?

Speaker 2 (41:48):
happen so fast in the summer.
Yeah, I was like what?
Because even now he's like whoa.
I'm like wait a minute, there'sonly one man in here, please
calm down, yeah, but no, yeah,it's weird for sure.
And then he's all into girlsand she's going to like I'll
breeze and I'm I need this momnow, I need this.

(42:09):
Can you get like he's all abouthis hygiene?
Yeah, Mom, can I get someVersace Cologne?
Wait a minute, baby Alright,and can I get this?
And I want to wear this and thegirls like this.
I'm like, yeah, what about them?
Grades?

Speaker 1 (42:25):
Right.

Speaker 2 (42:26):
But yeah, it's so different and it feels like it
happens so fast.
Yeah, he was just in middleschool and I feel like he had a
growth spurt over the summer andit's just weird, like
everything's completelydifferent.
Like certain things he was likedoing last year this, I would
say.
Last time, Christmas, he waslike yeah, I got the matching
PJs.
Yeah, let's take pictures.

(42:47):
Now he's like I'm good, I'mlike what do you mean?
Yeah, I'm going to get apicture of the matching PJs.
Yeah, so they wore the matchingPJs and my youngest is the only
one that wanted to take thepicture.
Yeah, but yeah, so it'sdifferent.
He's definitely starting tocare more about like I need my
hair, this, this, and you knowhe has hair.

(43:08):
So he's like can I, can you getsomebody to dread my hair?

Speaker 1 (43:12):
and I'm like okay, yeah, okay, I think that
happened with me when my many megot into ninth grade, where she
never cared about anything andI loved that about her shoes
would be on the wrong feet.
That would aggravate me.
For some reason I'm notcomfortable.
I guess it became like regular.

(43:33):
I don't know what it was, buteither way, ninth grade came,
she finally knew how to put hershoes on the right feet, like
one of her.
When she was in elementary, oneof the day care people had
called me because you know mynumber ain't changed or whatever
was asking about her and waslike does she still?
I was like can you believe it?
When she hit ninth grade shefinally learned, quote unquote,
how to do it.

(43:53):
But for me it's next month shewill be seventeen, what the fuck
.

Speaker 2 (44:02):
I still remember the day I drove you to the ER to
deliver.

Speaker 1 (44:06):
that's weird and it's like it does and for me I'm
getting emotional as I thinkabout, because for me, every day
for 2024 and it's a leap year,so the whole three, sixty-six is
me thinking about quote,unquote, last, only because,
like that's the last time I canquote, unquote, force her like

(44:28):
next Christmas 2024 willprobably be the last time that
we can do our annual likeChristmas Carol dance I mean not
dance, I'm sorry song.
And then the 2025, like if shedecides to go to college or what
I or what not.
It is what it is, but it's notlike I could be like you gotta
do this cause you're gonna beeighteen.

(44:49):
And I'm like cause when Iturned eighteen was in September
, after I graduated from highschool.
So here I am going to college,albeit it was only for a couple
of weeks, but I went to college,couldn't get into clubs,
couldn't really do anything,cause I'm still a child or
whatever.
And so her senior year, shewill.
When January 2025 comes, shewill be eighteen.

(45:10):
So I mean she'll be grown to acertain degree, cause I'm still
gonna make her go to school andeverything, like she's supposed
to or whatever.
But it's just like, oh my gosh,to a certain degree I can't
make him do anything, and it'snot even about the making, it's
just the I have an adult child.

Speaker 2 (45:27):
I feel like with that , like eventually, like even in
the early young years, she'sgonna kind of drift off and, you
know, find herself.
But she's gonna come back andbe like, oh, can we sing the
Christmas song again?
Stuff is gonna happen for sure.
I feel like through my twentiesI went through my twenties.
It was kind of like a blur alittle bit.
I was just trying to findmyself.

(45:47):
I'm like it's all about me,it's all about you know, I ended
up with my husband, but we weredating.
I was like, man, I'm at theclub, I'm thinking about my
parents, but in my thirties Iwould say later thirties I'm
starting to be like I mean, I'mnot not hot, but like I want to
spend time with my dad, I wantto spend time with my mom, I

(46:08):
want to do stuff like that.
And it's like, and my kids, ormy oldest, is like I don't want
to go do this, I want to getdropped off here.
And I'm like what about?
Yeah, we switched like.
Things are different.
I never thought about that.
We're doing the switch if youthink about your twenties, like
as far as like being aroundparents, it was like yeah well,

(46:32):
can you believe it?

Speaker 1 (46:33):
I actually was okay with my parents, but I wasn't
like like can we?
Try it together.
That's what I mean.
Well, yeah, I guess the closetogether, oh yeah.

Speaker 2 (46:42):
That's great.
I guess me through my 20s I wasjust going through like that
period of like, trying to findme, trying to do my thing, and
then, like now that I'm in mylater 30s, I'm like man, I miss
my parents, like, and even whenwe were living in Cali, I was
like I think I miss my.
You know, I miss my parents andeven when we move again, I'm
going to miss them always.
And I think I think more of itnow.

(47:04):
You know, like we're in Alaska.
Yeah, I miss y'all, but it waslike I have my, I'm building my
life here.

Speaker 1 (47:08):
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (47:10):
But now, I guess, when you get older, it happens
Cause you see your parents getolder and that's all I know.
But even though you know daddoesn't man, he's still he gets
around more than me Like, oh my.
God, he just more than me.
I'm like what are you doing?
I'm not at home right now.
I'm like hey.

Speaker 1 (47:25):
Yeah, like slow down, like on Father's Day, whenever
we go out and stuff, I alwaysthink we're together and that is
so disgusting to me.
And it's also weird because it'slike who are you calling old or
who like.
But yeah, like I rememberFather's Day this year I was
able to take him out because youknow he loves some real

(47:46):
obstacles, and so we took apicture for the memories, like
you said, and also for thesocial media, but definitely for
the memories and there was likey'all look so cute.
I was like this is my day, LikeI could take that as a
compliment, like y'all look cute.

Speaker 2 (48:00):
But in my mind, when they say these nice comments, I
think they think they weretogether, meaning like a couple,
and it's like oh, I guess theythink like because a lot of men
do date younger, younger womenand they're like well, I don't
want to be rude and be like, isthat your daughter?
And it's not, you know.
That's even worse when youthink about it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, but y'alllook alike.

(48:22):
So I'd be kind of looking like,hey, I don't want to say
nothing.

Speaker 1 (48:25):
They kind of look alike.
And then when I used to bearound the woman that gave birth
to me, they would always likeit'll be many me, her and I, and
that's three generations Intheir mind.
The woman that gave birth to meand I are sisters and they're
thinking that she is mother andnot grandma.
And I'm like, hold up, I'm mom,that's my child, and then this

(48:47):
is my mom, and they're like wait, the math ain't.
Or even now, if I have many mewith me, the math for them ain't
math.
And I'd be like, yeah, I got a17-year-old.
And they're like, wait, wait,wait, wait, wait, wait that math
.
How you got a 17-year-old?
I was like, because I'm poor,whee, there you go.

Speaker 2 (49:04):
Yo, yo, yo Let go.

Speaker 1 (49:05):
Chris, yes, let go, Chris.
So earlier you had talked aboutmoving around a lot and I call
you a nomad for that, becauseyou move around.
Where is your ideal state tostay when you move, and or will
it be your final spot?
Will you ever OK?
So I guess it's a two part.
So first one is what's yourideal state to stay, and then

(49:27):
the second part is are you goingto be a nomad forever or are
you ever going to quote unquote?
Ok, no, definitely not.

Speaker 2 (49:34):
It wasn't intentional to do that, but I feel like I
don't know.
Maybe it's the military lifethat makes me want to kind of
experience different places,because I always I don't mind
moving to different places, I'malways being on meeting
different people, things likethat.
I feel like in California.

(49:56):
I think that was a really goodmove for us, because just as far
as as busy as California is, asfar as just going hustle,
everybody's going to give you apush.
I feel like that's when myYouTube channel really took off
the most.
I've fallen off drasticallybecause I actually haven't gone
through some things Feelingthings like anxiety, depression

(50:20):
and things like that, but I feellike I'm not giving up, of
course, yeah, we're not, but Iam coming back to my YouTube
channel, but I feel like theregave me and my husband just the
most motivation as far as we seeus going somewhere and things
happen where you make mistakes,you think you want to be
somewhere and you don't and youleave and it's like man, I

(50:42):
regret it but just to see itcould have been far, especially
like I told you what my husbandwants to do.
So, yeah, I don't know, I guessI ideal state I would just say
California, just based off ofthe experience.
We had some great experiencesin Texas, as far as the family
as well and I do miss certainparts of Texas, just different

(51:06):
things.
We did everything CowboyStadium, six flags, this that it
was just nice.
You know restaurants andeverything.
But I feel like California forthe motivation, I feel like and
I just felt happier there.

Speaker 1 (51:22):
That makes sense.

Speaker 2 (51:24):
I don't know if it's the sunshine, I don't know, but
I love being near the water too.
Maybe it's the Pisces, yeah.

Speaker 1 (51:31):
Hey, it could be.
It could be that as well, Idon't know, because for me OK.
So I spent early part of 2000sin Philadelphia and then we
lived in New York City with herfather.
Then we came back and we'vebeen back ever since and stuff,
and so sometimes I miss Philly.

(51:51):
I have a friend that we went tocollege together.
He lives in Chicago and sothat's a.
You know, I love driving likethat, so I don't mind driving
there, but my issue is the cold.
So it's kind of like dang it, Iguess I'll stay and then, even
though my child, like we justsaid, is about to get older, I
could like leave.
But I don't know why, as ofright now I kind of like want to

(52:12):
stay put.
But I can understand themotivation of what you mentioned
, because I feel like in MemphisI'm an opportunity for sure.
Oh, definitely opportunity.
And I feel like in Memphis tothe key like we.
It's crazy how like we gotNashville three hours east of us
, atlanta seven or eightsoutheast, southeast hours of us

(52:33):
wait, seven or eight hourssoutheast of us.
There we go, and you wouldthink that some of that stuff
would trickle down.
But for some reason it appearsor maybe I'm not in the right
circles that sometimes withMemphis like we sometimes have
this kind of like quote unquote,old school backwards thinking,
yes.

Speaker 2 (52:50):
Oh, I'm so there with you.
I promise I am.
I feel it.
That's why, like when you leave, like we left for what 10 years
we left and came back, you feelit like heavy and it hits you.
And it hits you and it's likethis is not where I really want
to be, like I'm just, I don'tknow, like you said,

(53:11):
closed-minded way of thinking,judgmental.
I mean, like I feel like youknow everybody's, like Southern
hospitality, this and that, Likeyeah, I guess, but sometimes I
feel like it's nosiness, I feellike it's judgmental, like your
kid is this or your kid is that,like oh, you let them dirty.
It's like I don't know, I don'treally like that.

(53:32):
Like I want my kids to becarefree.
I want them to do what theywant to do.
I don't want them to have to bepressured in anything.
I don't want them to have totake their hoods off Because
they're not like why.
You know what I mean.
Like take your, he's the kid.

Speaker 1 (53:45):
Like and we know there were there hoodies all
year round for some weird reasonand this guy no.

Speaker 2 (53:52):
And in Cali we never experienced that Like I mean he
did.
You know, he was kind of.
He grew up a little bit there.
You know it's a little timethere, but it was just different
and we just feel like indifferent areas.
You know, I mean I feel likeyou just got to live where you
know it fits you and it's justbecause sometimes it's just I
don't know.
I guess, like I said, leavingand coming back to Memphis has

(54:15):
changed a lot too since we left.
So I feel like just certainthings.

Speaker 1 (54:20):
And very slow with the changes, cause my friend,
when I used to do Rakey thispast summer, she has a pole
dancing class.
Everybody has their clothes onand I think you and I have done
a pole dancing class for mybirthday and that's the workout.
She told me that some of hercustomers were like no, I can't
do this anymore, cause my familyeven though everybody who's in

(54:41):
there is 18 plus my family issaying how this is not cool.
And you go to Nashville orAtlanta and it's okay, even with
me, with my spirituality, withRakey.
Some people have never heard ofRakey, which is fine or
whatever like that.
But it's like the first thingis like, oh, I don't want to do
that or whatever, which, again,that's fine, but it's just like

(55:01):
it's Don't be so negative aboutit.
Yeah, you don't know, you know,yeah, and it's just like.
Again, you go to Nashville, youGoogle Rakey, so many
businesses out there, it's likeit's just, it's just baffling to
me, like it was that close andthings already is different.

Speaker 2 (55:17):
It's crazy.
I that's where I am too.
It's like it's different andeven as far as like I mean,
everybody doesn't agree withsmoking weed especially out here
.
But people know that there'shealth benefits to that People
with PTSD, people with anxiety,health and it's like it looks at
you, like you're a thug orsomething like what is happening

(55:37):
, like when we were in Cali weused to go to the dispensary and
when I tell you, it was peoplein suits lined up.

Speaker 1 (55:43):
Just got out of work.

Speaker 2 (55:44):
Women that look like they work in perfumes, and it's
like different type of people.
And it's like I like, I likethat.
Yeah, I like that.
It's so you know you can beyourself out there.
So many different people.
And it's like, and I just stareat you, like oh, yeah, like
you're a weirdo, Like why aren'tyou like straight?
Yeah, like everybody else.
Yeah, see everybody else, andit's like yeah.

Speaker 1 (56:05):
So I had a couple more questions, but I'm trying
to think okay, if you feel likeanswering no, no rush, or
whatever, we have enough timeleft to finish, or we can skip
those questions and we just domy last question.
But do you feel like talkingabout veganism?
Yeah, okay, cool, cool, cool.
So at one point you were avegan, talked to us about that,

(56:29):
and how was it?

Speaker 2 (56:29):
in a family, with your family as well, okay, so we
were vegan a little over twoyears, okay, and I just had some
things, you know some lowvitamins that made me kind of
convert a little bit back, but Istill, like I don't eat beef or
pork, okay, and mostly justchicken and seafood.

Speaker 1 (56:52):
Chicken and seafood.

Speaker 2 (56:53):
Oh, no, no, no, no no , no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
, no.
But yeah, we were vegan, ourwhole family was, so the kids as
well.
Wow, okay, yeah, just as far asthat.
I feel like you just gotta beknowledgeable.
Like veganism is not as easy aspeople think.
I heard Like you could just belike I'm just not gonna eat meat
Like there's.
It takes a lot.
You have to make sure you getall these vitamins.
Yep, like people, everybody.

(57:14):
What I hate is what everybodysays you're not getting enough
protein.
How are you gonna get protein?
My protein was the one thatwasn't the issue.

Speaker 1 (57:23):
And that's funny Cause some people, when they
become vegetarians or veganswhichever one they decide a lot
of them become pre-diabeticbecause they're doing a lot of
carbohydrates.
So that was pretty cool thatyou knew.
Like, yeah, my protein.
That's cool because most peopleassociate protein with meat,
but you can get that invegetables as you want.

Speaker 2 (57:42):
Everything, yeah, and my protein, like I had full
blood panels done.
Yeah, I was low on B12 becauseI wasn't taking the full amount
that I should have been taking.
Yeah, low on vitamin D yeah,but I think I was already low on
vitamin D cause my level wassuper low.
Yeah, and iron, of course, yeah, so just those vitamins.
I just, you know, decided toconvert back and just start

(58:04):
eating, you know.
But I still eat vegan meals,yeah, all the time.
We still buy vegan butter.
I really don't eat much dairy,okay.
So, yeah, it's still prettymuch the same.
But the kids, I would say butmy youngest one liked the vegan.
Yeah, he's like chickpea crazy.
Oh, yeah, he loves freshvegetables yeah, I'm talking

(58:25):
about bell peppers, carrots sohe doesn't really care for
cooked vegetables.
It's weird Even now.
So I just give him fresh.
I'm like you should eat it yeah,yeah yeah, yeah, so that, and
my oldest, he was with it too asfar as what we made, but I let
him eat whatever he wants after.
I mean outside, yeah, but now.
Yeah, they love chicken both ofthem, but yeah, but yeah.

Speaker 1 (58:48):
It's a dumb question, but I don't care, I'm gonna ask
anyway.
So, doing your veganism you,you were in Cali, right, I
started there.

Speaker 2 (58:56):
But I used to do.
I kind of played around with itin Texas, but I never went
fully.
I would get like I would eat,probably mean one today.

Speaker 1 (59:05):
Oh, yeah, so the assumption is yeah, so the
assumption is because I was inCali, you probably had more
options versus when you camehere.

Speaker 2 (59:16):
Actually I really cooked at home a lot.
Oh OK, Either way, because it'skind of risky either way.
Oh OK, it's kind of like youget fake meat, I don't ever
really care for the fake meat.
Yeah, I want like make me amushroom burger like a real
mushroom patty.
Or like a bean burger, like Inever really was into the fake
meat which was kind of big.
Everywhere Cali did have a lotmore healthier choices as far as

(59:41):
places to eat, like you canjust go grab you a big salad
bowl you can go grab.
Like I struggle to find like astrictly salad place here.
Yeah, I don't know if you heardof Salata.
It's in Texas we used to lookat them?

Speaker 1 (59:53):
No, I don't think so, and it's like a full salad bar.

Speaker 2 (59:54):
You get everything Nice, yeah, but they have places
like that out there and I feellike, as far as on the healthier
side, I guess, if you're eatingout but a lot of the eating I
do, even here, I would eat athome.
But even here there's a lot ofvegan options that people know
about.
Ok, like bean burgers.
Best bean burgers I've had hereis at Red Rotten, best baby

(01:00:19):
burgers you'll ever have.
Ok, so yeah, they're actuallymade out of the beans, the
quinoa grains, all that Nice.
I feel like you.
Just when you're actually veganyou find, oh right, yeah,
because there's places here youcan get.
Ok, if you fried rice when yougo to Asian place you can get.
Oh, ok, if you fall, we likefall, so we can start.

Speaker 1 (01:00:39):
Yeah, yeah, ok, because I don't know why.
But like I was just thinkingthat you know, in the South and
we are like, quote unquote,unhealthy and fat people and we
love art, and I don't mean in abad way of like talking fat,
being fat phobic or anything,but I just mean like us, like
eating very unhealthy.
So I made the unfortunateassumption that if somebody

(01:01:00):
tries to eat healthy in Memphisthat it would be difficult to
find because it's like barbecuejoints on every other street,
like how OK.

Speaker 2 (01:01:08):
I got I guess I could say I got a lot of negativity
being vegan here.
Like it's like the loud, likeif me and my husband went to eat
we went to eat one time and weended up getting it was at
Pabalu actually oh, ok, she madeus drinks and one drink had
like egg white something and shewas like we ordered some veggie

(01:01:33):
tacos, yeah, and she was like,oh, are you vegan?
This has eggs in it.
And she was like so loud andlike everybody was looking like
vegan.
And then like even like peoplehave made comments to my husband
like you're vegan, like why areyou so angry?
Like why are you so mad?
I'm just watching my bodyExactly.
It's like what?

Speaker 1 (01:01:50):
Like what yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:01:51):
Yeah.
So you get a lot of negativity,even from family members.
It's like you're vegan.
What Interested and I wouldn'teven just say, my southern
family?
Why, yeah, so it's like youneed to get in kids and eat, and
then it's like whatever, I justlook over and I would Because

(01:02:12):
I've had some.

Speaker 1 (01:02:13):
I have some friends who are vegan and I've been
introduced to it not somethingfor me, but I have an open mind
as well, so I gave it a try andnext up was pretty darn good.
Yeah, it's a different thingtoo.
Yeah, people think, leo, you'rejust eating this.
Yeah, yeah, and it's all on howyou presented and cook it.

Speaker 2 (01:02:30):
Yeah, exactly yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:02:32):
OK, and my last question we'll talk about
content creation.
So I follow you on social mediawith your content creation and
you make this stuff look easy.
Where do you get yourinspiration to create?
And have you ever thought aboutcreating a podcast as far as
your content, or you're justfine with so far, with how
everything's going?

Speaker 2 (01:02:53):
Well, let me not say that I've just been in it like I
used to be.
I am trying to get back to thatpoint.
Yeah, as far as the content, Iguess I'm more of like a.
I like to do soft content, sothings that look like relaxing,
relaxing music in the background.
Yeah, OK, I'm in here getting acopy of getting this set.

(01:03:13):
So I enjoy making that kind ofcontent.
I get ideas from other softcontent creators, things like
that.
I feel like I don't know.
I just love how it comestogether, Even like my husband.
He was like it's so weird howyou like we'll be out somewhere
and you'll just give videos andthen you'll put it all together

(01:03:34):
and then you send me the TikTokand I'm like I didn't even know
you took these.
Oh yeah, it's like I have aneye for it.
We're like OK, let me get thisreal quick, Let me.
I know I need to get heavy intoit because I do need to take
more selfies and more thingslike that, but, like I said, I
haven't been going through somethings and trying to get
together and a little depression, I think, from being here and

(01:03:57):
just dealing with things, it'slike things that I understand.
It's a big change, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:04:03):
And during the holidays me and other people go
through that.
It's called seasonal affectivedisorder.
Yeah, have you my ownpsychiatrist?
She told me about this.
It's somewhere on Amazon Ican't think of the name of it,
but it's some kind and I'llprobably take it to you later.
But it's some kind of lightthat can stimulate.
Oh, yeah, I see.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, that's agood design actually.
Yeah, ok, yeah, yeah, and shehad told me about this.

(01:04:25):
So far with my depression, ofcourse I take meds, but that
doesn't mean anything from timeto time.
But yeah, I have been trying.
I take my B12 because my doctorgot on me from my physical, so
I've been making myself take myB12 meds once a week in addition
to my other meds, but so far Ican't with it that this when I

(01:04:48):
would be depressed, I haven'tbeen, and I know you've probably
heard all of these, but youknow exercises and stuff like
that helps and I'm here for you.
The exercises are, and whenyou're in a depression, I know.

Speaker 2 (01:05:00):
But yeah, I try to do yoga and rotate.
I do those things as well.
So not as often as I should,but I do yeah and I understand
I'm going to make the kidsmeditate.
I still love it.

Speaker 1 (01:05:11):
Yeah, it's good.
Yeah, I try to meditate.
I try to meditate but I'm notgood at it.
I'm sorry, I'm not consistentat it and I'm trying to find
other ways to meditate because Iknow that you'll fall asleep
and that's not your intent.
But look, I got to find I mighttry to find other ways to
meditate, but I do that orwhatever.
And I mean, I know you got agood group on it and stuff, but

(01:05:34):
hey, if you ever want to talk orwhatever, I'm here for you.

Speaker 2 (01:05:37):
I think I'm coming out of it pretty much.
Oh good, good, just themotivation as well.
So you got to get thatmotivation as culture and
creating is a lot.
It takes a lot to make aYouTube video, but I'm
definitely about to get back toit.
Good, I did enjoy it.

Speaker 1 (01:05:52):
Yeah, a lot of people they want me to get on YouTube
and like I'm kind of quote Idon't know if it's because my
background is computer science,like that.
That's where I have myundergrad in.
I have not done much of it orwhatever, but hey, student loans
paid off, so shout out to that.
But I'm very slow on all ofthis stuff or whatever.

(01:06:13):
Of course I was on Facebookwhen it came out, but when all
these other ones I'm just alwaysvery slow with it and I'm
trying to get into the wholecontent to bring more listeners
to the podcast, but it's justlike it's a full-time job.
It is.

Speaker 2 (01:06:26):
From what I heard, I'm assuming you're working, it
is harder.
So I think that's big on me too, because I wasn't fully working
in California when I was goingheavy and I had just ideas all
the time and then I was doing myniche was pretty much vegan,
vegan stuff.
I'd just be like I'd be at workthinking of ideas and I'd be

(01:06:49):
like, hey, when I get off work,let's go to Whole Foods.
I want to do this video withthis and this, and it's like my
husband's my biggest supporter.
He's always like now he's likeyou need to put out some videos.
Yeah, I love this.
He's always been even to apoint where it's like he wants
to get to a point where he cantake over everything and I can

(01:07:10):
do my concentration full-time.

Speaker 1 (01:07:12):
So that's what I love , I mean he's done it before too
.

Speaker 2 (01:07:16):
I just wasn't as heavy in a discussion.
I regret it, so bad.

Speaker 1 (01:07:19):
Yeah, well, it's not too late.
Yeah, so I'm making back intoit.
Yeah, it's difficult for mebecause, as you know, I'm a very
eccentric out there type ofperson and I know everybody say
there's a niche for everything.
But some content creators, fromwhat I see and I hate that I'm
trying to compare myself becauseyou know what is for you, like
you said earlier, what's for you, what's for you, blah, blah,

(01:07:41):
blah.
But it's like, oh my gosh, Ilike this, I like that, I like
all these different things, andso it's like I want to talk
about all these things, butsometimes other content creators
make me feel like I'm supposedto just talk about one thing,
definitely.

Speaker 2 (01:07:55):
Especially on the top , there's definitely a space for
everyone.
For what you?
Because there's millions ofpeople like you that want to see
stuff like that and they can'tfind it.
You could be the one to be inyour name, bringing it out there
.

Speaker 1 (01:08:07):
Yeah for sure.
I mean, I'm motivated.
So yeah, cool For sure, cool,well, all right.
Well, that was all thequestions I had.
Is there anything?

Speaker 2 (01:08:14):
lastly, you want to talk about that I didn't mention
, I guess as far as the podcast,you asked me if I would ever
want to see.
Yes, sorry, me and my husbandactually talked about doing that
, possibly in the future.
Not now because I still want tofully commit to my yeah.
But yeah, he's not a hugesocial media person and he's

(01:08:35):
trying to get into it,especially for the business.
Yeah, he ends up, he's tryingto get more into that.
So hopefully this next yearthings will be better with that.
We can kind of work on thatBecause if you man, my husband
has some interestingconversations, we can do a
podcast.

Speaker 1 (01:08:51):
Yeah, that's what my boo thinks.
He wants me and many, many tohave one.
But I was like, let me waituntil she's 18, because I like
to curse and I would feel weird.
You would be judging like, yeah, yeah, and so I think about
that.
But yeah, I think sometimesit's intimidating for me
personally to want to dopodcasts.

(01:09:11):
I mean, clearly I'm doing one,but want to do one because it
seems like it's so many outthere or whatever like that.
But I still feel, like what yousaid earlier there's a niche
out there for everyone to do it.
So there's nothing wrong withthat.
So, yeah, yeah, so I'll do that, cool, yeah, for sure.

Speaker 2 (01:09:25):
That's true, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:09:27):
All right, well, thank you, you don't have to.
It's not mandatory.
Do you want to do a shout outwith your social media stuff?
Do you want to plug that?
If you do, cool.
If you don't know, biggie, it'snot a big deal, yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:09:38):
My social media.
My Instagram is get my name.
Hold on, it's tamromachelh.
So yeah, follow me on there.
Ok, give me a shout out, leaveme a message.
I will be posting more pictures.
Yeah, I got to really get on mysocial media because I post
stories every now and then Ifeel like, even like I just feel

(01:09:58):
like I don't do enough, like Iused to do.
Yeah, I don't really go on, Idon't want to just take a whole
bunch of pictures just sittingat home, yeah, but yeah, ok,
yeah, I'm working on it.

Speaker 1 (01:10:07):
Cool.
Ok, next year stay tuned.
Yes, next year stay tuned.
We are here for my.

Speaker 2 (01:10:10):
YouTube channel also is Tamara.
Let me double check.
I've changed it before.
Ok, sorry, no problem, itshould be Tamara Michelle,
actually.
Ok, tamara Michelle H.

Speaker 1 (01:10:26):
H on the end.
Ok, so that's all for theInstagram and the YouTube and
the YouTube and the TikTok.

Speaker 2 (01:10:31):
And the TikTok OK, cool, yeah, see, I like that
consistency throughout.

Speaker 1 (01:10:34):
Yeah, I got to put together, yeah, so I'll put that
in the show notes andeverything like that.
So, ok, again, I want to thankyou so much for coming out.
I really enjoyed this and Ilove how indirectly you flow
through every single thing thatI ask without me having to make
it sound like hey, you justtalked about this, but now we
got a backtrack, so that wascool, all right, well, whoop.
That's all that.

(01:10:55):
I got Q out.

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