November 2, 2023 • 24 mins
Hey! Hi! It’s me MommaQueue. I welcome you to Moments in Queue.
In Queue Today: Hi Why > Black Business > Who do Hoodoo > Are you Kinky or Knot > and Clear my Queue
Happy No 🥜 November! I thought I had a lot to talk about but thank goodness I am able to deliver you nutty flavor in less than 30 minutes. I am going on the ledge to tell you about edging. Give you the history of Halloween and how I did my dumb dinner for my ancestors. Remember me in my CoCo movie singing voice. I answer my first ever listener email. Keep ‘em coming y’all. Just don’t call me girl. As promised below is Donnell writes social media info.
Black Business
Donnell A. McLachlan, M.A.
Link tree: https://linktr.ee/donnellwrites
Tik tok: donnellwrites
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker (00:05):
M-O-W-M-A-Q-D-W-E-D-W-E , that's my name, mama Q.
M-o-w-m-a-q-d-w-e-d-w-e, that'smy name.
Mama Q, say it faster or slow,don't really matter, though the
U-E gets a minute.
Tongue tizzy yo, hey, kindadizzy bro.
(00:25):
Who is she?
Mama Q?
Mama gave birth little waste,no girth, 60 years ago.
No, I don't want.
Mo Q is a line and I tried toalign this double end.
Tundra petty, haha, it's one ofmy modules.
Mama Q, I'm the first one inand the first one out.
Memphis Tend to Key is mywhereabouts.
Duncan Plain Mayn, saying stickit to one topic.
(00:47):
I reply your mind is verymyopic with Mama Q.
You need better optist pickingand choosing to copy me.
Are you inspired?
Uh, definitely.
No need to whisper gracefully.
I like it better off key.
Now let's see.
Do you remember me?
M-o-w-m-a-q-d-w-e, d-a-w-e,that's my name, mama Q, hey, hi,
(01:24):
it's me.
Mama Q, I welcome you toMoments in Q.
In Q today, hawaii, blackbusiness, hudu, hudu.
Are you kinky or not?
And clear my Q, hawaii.
Give you the green of the dayand I'm explaining the why of
(01:44):
this episode.
Happy no-nut November.
In this episode I will talkabout edging, since we are all
practicing not nothing thismonth, right, right next to you,
by my Halloween ritual.
You know I'm going to talkabout Christians, more
(02:05):
specifically Catholics andMethodists that venerate their
ancestors during this timekeeping with Christianity.
I want to talk about amazingman that uses his words to help
others with decolonizing theirChristian beliefs.
Lastly, I will introduce a newsegment, if you didn't already
peep it enjoy Black business.
(02:30):
I highlight a black business tobring awareness and my
experience with said business.
Unless I say it, it isn't apaid ad.
I am open to paid ads, but Idefinitely want to highlight
black businesses.
There's enough money for all ofus to get it.
The Ota hip hop from Monday wasnot only a thought at 6.45 am,
(02:53):
but it was inspired by today'sblack business.
I follow Donnell Wright onTikTok and let me tell you the
levels to him is shea magnifiquepart of my French, now more of
a Spanish speaker, so for somereason I will turn any foreign
language, unfortunately, toSpanish, unless someone
pronounced it first.
My roommate said that to mewhen she tried to teach me
(03:16):
Yoruba in the early 2000s.
I should have kept up with it.
Anyway, my first introductionto Donnell on TikTok was him
defending Jasmine Garden from anarmy chaplain trying to come
for her admitting what most ofus already know Christianity and
the Bible don't make any damnsense.
Not that Jasmine needs help,she can hold her own, but per
(03:39):
usual, some men go after womenversus other men.
I went through his TikTokplaylist in such a breath of
fresh air, y'all Um lost myplace.
Anyway, he talks aboutdeconstructing Christianity and
hip hop, which to me that soundslike anomaly.
(04:01):
Seriously and jokingly, becausereal Bible thumpers are against
hip hop.
But allegedly Reverend Al Greenwas abusive.
Allegedly Cref flow dollar wasa scammer, using the tithes into
the storehouse Bible verse,then changing his mind but not
reimbursing the congregation heallegedly scammed.
At the time I never did hear ofanyone, especially a cis-hetero
(04:25):
black man respect pronounsspeak about black love as a
husband, without including thestruggle of that so many of us
are used to, and writing a paperasking does Jesus like black
churches?
Let me tell you about Donnell.
His TikTok says he is a writer,theologian, husband,
storyteller for love andliberation.
On his link tree he hasmeditation playlists and his
(04:50):
thesis playlists available viaApple and Spotify.
His thesis paper, which I had apleasure to read so I can
properly advertise, includesQueering the Black Church a
social, historical explorationof and prophetic witness to the
Black Church regarding the blackLGBTQ community towards solving
the identity crisis.
(05:11):
Now, this was written in 2019.
Here's the abstract it says.
In this work, I engage ongoingissues of homophobia in the
Black Church.
I explore what are the maincauses for the vitriol towards
the LGBT community in the BlackChurch In many cases, why
doesn't thinking around blackhumans' rights movements,
(05:32):
sometimes supported by the BlackChurch, such as Black Lives
Matter, always include queerlives.
What impact did colonialismhave on black folks' communal
understanding of gender?
As I unpack briefly myhistorical and sociological
findings regarding thesequestions, I also ponder on what
(05:52):
can the Black Church do tobecome more queer-friendly,
affirming loving and, lastly,what could be the future of the
Black Church if it does not.
So for me, the paper resonated alot because I was someone, as
you all have probably known,that attended church, but I
wasn't like a Bible thumper or aholier-than-thou type of person
(06:14):
, but I also wasn't a CME either.
So a little bit of both, but asI got older, cme more so Easter
, anyway, I remember growing upI was listening to the chatter
on social media abouthomosexuality as a sin and, of
course, attention to church.
(06:35):
So that's why I really enjoyedreading the paper because, like
I just said, some of the thingsthat I had thought of he was
able to say and it's so coolthat he wrote about this because
he, like I said earlier, is atheologian, so that means he
went to seminary school and it'slike what.
(06:56):
That's what you wrote, like Idon't know.
I think that's pretty cool.
So there are other links and ahost of books to help you
decolonize Christianity, if youdesire, via his link tree.
Now, I don't even think he is40.
And now, yes, I know age is notequate to maturity, but I'm
just so proud to readaccomplishments of younger
people, seriously, because backin my days, and even now, I
(07:19):
didn't have the support orstrength to loudly question,
write or articulate what I wasfeeling.
I'm glad there are others,especially the younger ones,
saying fuck that, this is what Ifeel.
Minimi's godmother, who isabout two years younger than I,
said the same thing about myMinimi.
We are both proud that Minimican unfriend people that are no
(07:39):
longer for her.
We're growing up.
The godmother and I weren'tconfident enough.
So I encourage you to supportand or follow this man if you
haven't already, especially ifyou're a fan of hip hop, because
the way Donnell speaks, hemight just be a Dr MLK in the
making.
As always, donnell's info willbe in the show notes.
Thank you, hudu.
(08:01):
Hudu, I get to the root of hudu, conjure up thoughts that pop
into my mind about spirituality.
Come on, get this work.
According to thedayofthedeadholiday website,
today is the conclusion of Dayof the Dead, dia de los Miracos.
It is a two-day holiday thatreunites the living and dead.
Families create ofrendas, whichis offerings to honor their
(08:24):
departed family members thathave passed.
These altars are decorated withbright yellow marigold flowers,
photos of the departed and thefavorite foods and drinks of the
ones being honored.
The offerings are believed toencourage visits from the land
of the dead, as the departedsouls hear their prayers, smell
their foods and join in thecelebration.
November 1st at 12 am is Dia delos Angelitos, day of the
(08:48):
Children.
November 2nd at 12 noon is Diade los Diflentos, days of the
Dots, and November 2nd at 12 amis Dia de los Miracos.
You probably are familiar withthe movie Coco and or people
wearing calvaloras.
Look, saibua y'all.
I know.
Forgive me if my Spanish is off.
(09:09):
I have not been on Duolingo insome months, okay, but anyway,
you probably are familiar withCoco and or people wearing
calvaloras, which translates toskulls Sugar skulls are
decorated and given as ofrendas.
Do you remember in the movieCoco the Marigolds?
Well, they are believed to bethe pathway that the spirits
used to find their ofrendas.
(09:31):
Day of the Dead is not the quoteunquote mix in holiday, like it
is sometimes mistaken to bebecause of the timing of the
year.
The two holidays originatedwith similar afterlife beliefs
but are very different.
In martin day, halloween beganas a Celtic festival where
people would light bonfires andwear costumes toward off-goals,
but has recently turned into atradition of costume wearing and
(09:54):
trick or treating.
Decorating your house withspiders and bats and wearing
scary costumes is not done inmost parts of Mexico.
For more information about that, you can Google.
So, believe it or not, mexicansare not the only ones to
celebrate the day of the dead.
It is a widely celebratedholiday all over the world.
In fact, many religiouscommunities celebrate All Souls
(10:17):
Day, which is also known as AllSaints Day, during the same time
as Day of the Dead.
The act of honoring the dead iswidely celebrated around the
world, but Day of the Dead isunique in its traditions the
ofrenda, the meaning of life anddeath, the use of capillaries,
the style influenced by LaCartrina and, more recently, the
(10:37):
festivals in the streets.
Christianity is a religiousexample of Day of the Dead.
Methodists and Catholics arethe only Christian denominations
that I learned that have a Dayof the Dead.
Other denominations, such asthe Protestant branches, think
the acts that I'm going todescribe are demonic.
And for some reason, otherdenominations again, such as
(10:58):
Protestants, which includes yourapostles, no apostolic your
Baptists, those type of people,no surprise.
But they think that those actsthat I'm about to describe to
y'all is demonic and for someodd reason, they don't consider
Catholics.
Are any other denominationssimilar to Catholic Sanctism are
(11:21):
true Christianity due to theiruse of saints?
But that is for another time.
I will use Britannica toexplain these days.
All Saints Day, also called asAll Holos Day, holomos or Feast
of All Saints, in the ChristianChurch, a day commemorating all
the saints of the church, bothknown and unknown, who have
(11:42):
tamed heaven.
It is celebrated on November1st in the Western churches and
on the first Sunday afterPentecost in the Eastern
churches.
In Roman Catholicism, the feastis usually a holy day of
obligation.
It is part of the three dayTredum dedicated to remembering
the dead, beginning withHalloween, october 1st, followed
(12:04):
by All Saints Day, november 1stand All Souls Day, november 2nd
.
The year of the origin isunknown.
Halloween descriptions comefrom historycom.
The tradition originated withthe ancient Celtic festival of
Samahand, when people wouldlight bonfires and wear costumes
toward off-ghosts.
(12:24):
In the 8th century, popeGregory III exonated November
1st as a time to honor allsaints.
Soon, all Saints Dayincorporated some of the
traditions of Samahand.
The evening before was known asAll Holos Eve and later
Halloween.
Over time, halloween evolvedinto a day of activities like
trick or treating, carvingjack-o-lanterns, festive
(12:46):
gatherings done in costumes andeating treats.
Oh, I'm sorry, I pronounced thiswrong.
It's called Sawin, sorry, soSawin.
Galakbit Gaelic.
There we go, a Gaelic wordpronounced So-win is a pagan
religious festival originatingfrom an ancient Celtic spiritual
tradition.
(13:06):
It is usually celebrated fromOctober 31st to November 1st to
welcome in the horrors and usherin the darker, the
quote-unquote the dark half ofthe year.
Celebrants believe that thebarriers between the physical
world and the spirit worldbreaking down, saw in allowance
more interaction between humansand denizens of the other world.
(13:27):
The tradition of quote-unquotedumb supper, in which food was
consumed by Celebrants but onlyafter inviting ancestors to join
in Giving the families a chanceto interact with the spirits
until they left.
Following dinner, childrenwould play games to entertain
the dead, while adults wouldupdate the dead on the past
year's news that night, doorsand windows might be left open
(13:51):
for the dead to come in and eatcakes that have been left for
them.
Now, unfortunately, I was unableto find out if who do
practitioners have a specificway to celebrate Halloween,
similar to what I just describedwith some people in Mexico and,
of course, with Catholics andMethodist.
But I'm gonna tell y'all what Ido for my Halloween rituals for
(14:13):
my ancestors.
Okay, so I cooked dinner, pourour libations and have a dumb
supper.
I started this a few years ago.
It might not seem any differentthan what I normally do on the
day-to-day, but I put an extraspin on it with different color
candles to give them the energythat they desire, which Goes
with the color of the candle.
(14:33):
So, for example, if it's red ororange, that could mean healing
.
Now, it's not the same ritualeach time and, to be honest, a
lot of things I do vary on theirneeds and what I feel called to
do During this time of the dumbsupper.
Before I began, per usual, Ithank them, giving them their
offerings, like the candles, andbeing silent.
(14:55):
Now, normally when I'm at thealtar, as you know, I talked to
them about giving gratitude,which is pretty cool because,
again, that's what did a littlesmirk those, some of those
people would do like I said.
They, like I said earlier, theywould give updates of what
happened in the world.
Um, so I do that.
Um, again, I'm not going to saydaily or weekly, but I at least
(15:18):
try to update my ancestorsabout things that's going on in
the world so they can be in theknow.
And I'm pretty sure I told youall that.
So, anyway, I give my offeringsand I go about my day.
I like to keep things simple,k-i-s-s, and to me simple or
grandiose doesn't matter.
As long as they are taken careof, happy and healing, I am on
the right track.
(15:38):
Are you kinky or not?
I'm a proud kinkster of theBDSS community.
Let me tell you about thislifestyle to see if you want to
come over to the dock side.
We got candles, all right.
So Eshin is very April Produring the month of no-nud
November.
(15:59):
According to Urban Dictionary,eshin is an act of someone
holding their orgasm and thenreleasing it, which leads into
more pleasure.
I have tried to esch duringno-nud November.
I never make it to November30th, I mean December 1st.
Matter of fact, I orgasm.
Yesterday thanks to my boothing.
(16:21):
He knew it was no-nud November.
I told him it was, I remindedhim and y'all I tried.
I promised I'd try but wehadn't seen each other in like
five days.
So 11-49 yesterday I fuckingcame.
I didn't even last half the day.
(16:43):
All right.
Now I do know of people thatcan age.
I mean not age, of coursepeople can age, but age and
according to them it makes thenut that more satisfying and
stronger when they can nut oncommand from their top, their
dumb or their dumb-a.
Sometimes during intimate timewith my boo thing.
(17:03):
I do a countdown for him and healways come after one.
It's cute to me.
There is a man in my formerlocal BDSM community that edged
himself for masturbationpurposes and would not have
penis and vagina sex.
I think he made it to like 21days.
He was like when he came, y'all, imagine a scene from scary
(17:29):
movie where the nut was sopowerful, the woman crashing to
the wall or the ceiling.
Look, she crashed intosomething.
I ain't seen that movie inabout forever.
Go on YouTube.
Okay, in this actual story hetold me that the woman, she was
a toaster strudel.
You get it If not a dictionary.
So when I was with my sir Icould not come until he
(17:53):
commanded me to and I would getso fucking aggravated because he
would stop spanking me orcoyotes when he knows I'm there,
like really dude.
But when I was given permissionit was satisfying.
Speaking of orgasm to now.
That is also edging, so you canuse both terms interchangeably.
I encourage you I really do,even though I know y'all won't
(18:15):
do it but try edging.
But make sure you tell yourpartners first, even if they're
a sadist, but make sure you tellthem about it because you know
we got to communicate and theyhave to consent to it.
I am pretty sure 99.9% of themwon't like it, but hey, if they
do, let me know.
And because I found out,clearly you can send me listener
(18:38):
emails.
So stay tuned to the nextsegment and I will read my first
listener email disaster andwinter GPU, esa, intel, apex.
(19:16):
I never had anyone send me alistener email.
I read it still in disbelief,like this gotta be a setup.
Then I looked at the data andsaid, hmm, okay, let me give it
a go.
This email is long as fuck.
This podcast episode, I feel,is already long-winded and y'all
(19:37):
be having short attention spans.
Therefore, I will give you themeat and potatoes of this email
Before I continue.
If anybody ever reaches out tome, please, please, please, do
not call me a girl.
I went over that in the firstpodcast episode.
Alright, so, in summation, thislistener wants advice on talking
to their partner who has abelly button, kink or fetish.
(19:59):
I'm not quite sure which one.
Both words are usedinterchangeably, but there is a
difference.
Anyway, the partner wants tolick, touch, caress, insert
items such as ice and play withthe person's belly button.
Next Thursday's episode, whichwill be two weeks from now, I
will do a part two and talkabout belly button fetishes,
(20:19):
because this is hellainteresting to me.
The problem is, the writer'sbelly button is sensitive, so
when their partner plays in thatarea, they don't like it.
As you can imagine, this couldpotentially cause a riff in the
relationship, which I get it.
You want your partner to behappy and enjoy exploring and
getting off.
However, if you say that youdon't like it and or it causes
(20:40):
you pain, they might not takeyour response.
Well, who wants tointentionally cause pain to
their partner?
Hopefully, no one.
And also, when I just said thatyou know, I know you BDSM.
People don't mind causing pain,but you get it right and you
also don't want to feel likeyou're being judged for enjoying
this not so common kink.
(21:01):
Well, here's my response.
Finally, I know, but you knowme, I love to give details, all
right.
So, friendly reminder, I am nota medical doctor, I'm not a
relationship expert, nor do Ipossess any qualifications to
give you the end all be allanswer.
Please refer to my intro on mypodcast.
Now that I got that shit out ofway.
(21:23):
Medication is essential to anyrelationship, so I believe you
got to tell your partner thatarea of your body sensitive.
If you want to and if you canafford to, maybe go to the
doctor to see if there'sanything you can do to
desensitize that area, ensurethat it's not a serious medical
concern as well, then tell yourpartner that, due to the
sensitivity of that area, youdon't particularly enjoy the
(21:45):
play.
It is definitely not them, butit's you.
From here, if you want, you cancome to a compromise with your
partner or just say that thisarea is red, and in the BDSM
community red means no.
If you have a compromise,ensure there is a safe word
attached to the play, like aword you would never say during
(22:05):
sex, like red or pineapples.
Once you say for it, all playmust end.
Your partner can also check inon you during the time by asking
for a color.
Green means keep going, I'menjoying the fuck out of this.
Red means check on me to seewhere I am.
And red means full stop intransmission.
The way both of you can get alittle play, that way both of
(22:28):
you can get a little play.
But once you start hurting, yougot to stop, not only for you
because, like you say thisirritated, but also for your
partner, because again, I don'tknow your partner, but I am
hoping that again your partnerdoes not want to have you in
pain.
All right.
So now, if you don't want to dobelly button play, that's fine
(22:49):
too.
You have a right.
It's your body.
Again, let your partner knowthat this fetish is not for you.
It's again due to the fact thatyour belly button is sensitive,
and you can always findalternative ways to enjoy play
together, if possible.
Well, I've talked long enough.
Thank you out.
M-O-W-M-A-Q-D-W-E-D-W-E , that's my name, mama Q.
M-o-w-m-a-q-d-w-e-d-w-e, that'smy name.
Mama Q, say it faster or slow,don't really matter, though the
U-E gets a minute.
Tongue tizzy yo, hey, kindadizzy bro.
(00:25):
Who is she?
Mama Q?
Mama gave birth little waste,no girth, 60 years ago.
No, I don't want.
Mo Q is a line and I tried toalign this double end.
Tundra petty, haha, it's one ofmy modules.
Mama Q, I'm the first one inand the first one out.
Memphis Tend to Key is mywhereabouts.
Duncan Plain Mayn, saying stickit to one topic.
(00:47):
I reply your mind is verymyopic with Mama Q.
You need better optist pickingand choosing to copy me.
Are you inspired?
Uh, definitely.
No need to whisper gracefully.
I like it better off key.
Now let's see.
Do you remember me?
M-o-w-m-a-q-d-w-e, d-a-w-e,that's my name, mama Q, hey, hi,
(01:24):
it's me.
Mama Q, I welcome you toMoments in Q.
In Q today, hawaii, blackbusiness, hudu, hudu.
Are you kinky or not?
And clear my Q, hawaii.
Give you the green of the dayand I'm explaining the why of
(01:44):
this episode.
Happy no-nut November.
In this episode I will talkabout edging, since we are all
practicing not nothing thismonth, right, right next to you,
by my Halloween ritual.
You know I'm going to talkabout Christians, more
(02:05):
specifically Catholics andMethodists that venerate their
ancestors during this timekeeping with Christianity.
I want to talk about amazingman that uses his words to help
others with decolonizing theirChristian beliefs.
Lastly, I will introduce a newsegment, if you didn't already
peep it enjoy Black business.
(02:30):
I highlight a black business tobring awareness and my
experience with said business.
Unless I say it, it isn't apaid ad.
I am open to paid ads, but Idefinitely want to highlight
black businesses.
There's enough money for all ofus to get it.
The Ota hip hop from Monday wasnot only a thought at 6.45 am,
(02:53):
but it was inspired by today'sblack business.
I follow Donnell Wright onTikTok and let me tell you the
levels to him is shea magnifiquepart of my French, now more of
a Spanish speaker, so for somereason I will turn any foreign
language, unfortunately, toSpanish, unless someone
pronounced it first.
My roommate said that to mewhen she tried to teach me
(03:16):
Yoruba in the early 2000s.
I should have kept up with it.
Anyway, my first introductionto Donnell on TikTok was him
defending Jasmine Garden from anarmy chaplain trying to come
for her admitting what most ofus already know Christianity and
the Bible don't make any damnsense.
Not that Jasmine needs help,she can hold her own, but per
(03:39):
usual, some men go after womenversus other men.
I went through his TikTokplaylist in such a breath of
fresh air, y'all Um lost myplace.
Anyway, he talks aboutdeconstructing Christianity and
hip hop, which to me that soundslike anomaly.
(04:01):
Seriously and jokingly, becausereal Bible thumpers are against
hip hop.
But allegedly Reverend Al Greenwas abusive.
Allegedly Cref flow dollar wasa scammer, using the tithes into
the storehouse Bible verse,then changing his mind but not
reimbursing the congregation heallegedly scammed.
At the time I never did hear ofanyone, especially a cis-hetero
(04:25):
black man respect pronounsspeak about black love as a
husband, without including thestruggle of that so many of us
are used to, and writing a paperasking does Jesus like black
churches?
Let me tell you about Donnell.
His TikTok says he is a writer,theologian, husband,
storyteller for love andliberation.
On his link tree he hasmeditation playlists and his
(04:50):
thesis playlists available viaApple and Spotify.
His thesis paper, which I had apleasure to read so I can
properly advertise, includesQueering the Black Church a
social, historical explorationof and prophetic witness to the
Black Church regarding the blackLGBTQ community towards solving
the identity crisis.
(05:11):
Now, this was written in 2019.
Here's the abstract it says.
In this work, I engage ongoingissues of homophobia in the
Black Church.
I explore what are the maincauses for the vitriol towards
the LGBT community in the BlackChurch In many cases, why
doesn't thinking around blackhumans' rights movements,
(05:32):
sometimes supported by the BlackChurch, such as Black Lives
Matter, always include queerlives.
What impact did colonialismhave on black folks' communal
understanding of gender?
As I unpack briefly myhistorical and sociological
findings regarding thesequestions, I also ponder on what
(05:52):
can the Black Church do tobecome more queer-friendly,
affirming loving and, lastly,what could be the future of the
Black Church if it does not.
So for me, the paper resonated alot because I was someone, as
you all have probably known,that attended church, but I
wasn't like a Bible thumper or aholier-than-thou type of person
(06:14):
, but I also wasn't a CME either.
So a little bit of both, but asI got older, cme more so Easter
, anyway, I remember growing upI was listening to the chatter
on social media abouthomosexuality as a sin and, of
course, attention to church.
(06:35):
So that's why I really enjoyedreading the paper because, like
I just said, some of the thingsthat I had thought of he was
able to say and it's so coolthat he wrote about this because
he, like I said earlier, is atheologian, so that means he
went to seminary school and it'slike what.
(06:56):
That's what you wrote, like Idon't know.
I think that's pretty cool.
So there are other links and ahost of books to help you
decolonize Christianity, if youdesire, via his link tree.
Now, I don't even think he is40.
And now, yes, I know age is notequate to maturity, but I'm
just so proud to readaccomplishments of younger
people, seriously, because backin my days, and even now, I
(07:19):
didn't have the support orstrength to loudly question,
write or articulate what I wasfeeling.
I'm glad there are others,especially the younger ones,
saying fuck that, this is what Ifeel.
Minimi's godmother, who isabout two years younger than I,
said the same thing about myMinimi.
We are both proud that Minimican unfriend people that are no
(07:39):
longer for her.
We're growing up.
The godmother and I weren'tconfident enough.
So I encourage you to supportand or follow this man if you
haven't already, especially ifyou're a fan of hip hop, because
the way Donnell speaks, hemight just be a Dr MLK in the
making.
As always, donnell's info willbe in the show notes.
Thank you, hudu.
(08:01):
Hudu, I get to the root of hudu, conjure up thoughts that pop
into my mind about spirituality.
Come on, get this work.
According to thedayofthedeadholiday website,
today is the conclusion of Dayof the Dead, dia de los Miracos.
It is a two-day holiday thatreunites the living and dead.
Families create ofrendas, whichis offerings to honor their
(08:24):
departed family members thathave passed.
These altars are decorated withbright yellow marigold flowers,
photos of the departed and thefavorite foods and drinks of the
ones being honored.
The offerings are believed toencourage visits from the land
of the dead, as the departedsouls hear their prayers, smell
their foods and join in thecelebration.
November 1st at 12 am is Dia delos Angelitos, day of the
(08:48):
Children.
November 2nd at 12 noon is Diade los Diflentos, days of the
Dots, and November 2nd at 12 amis Dia de los Miracos.
You probably are familiar withthe movie Coco and or people
wearing calvaloras.
Look, saibua y'all.
I know.
Forgive me if my Spanish is off.
(09:09):
I have not been on Duolingo insome months, okay, but anyway,
you probably are familiar withCoco and or people wearing
calvaloras, which translates toskulls Sugar skulls are
decorated and given as ofrendas.
Do you remember in the movieCoco the Marigolds?
Well, they are believed to bethe pathway that the spirits
used to find their ofrendas.
(09:31):
Day of the Dead is not the quoteunquote mix in holiday, like it
is sometimes mistaken to bebecause of the timing of the
year.
The two holidays originatedwith similar afterlife beliefs
but are very different.
In martin day, halloween beganas a Celtic festival where
people would light bonfires andwear costumes toward off-goals,
but has recently turned into atradition of costume wearing and
(09:54):
trick or treating.
Decorating your house withspiders and bats and wearing
scary costumes is not done inmost parts of Mexico.
For more information about that, you can Google.
So, believe it or not, mexicansare not the only ones to
celebrate the day of the dead.
It is a widely celebratedholiday all over the world.
In fact, many religiouscommunities celebrate All Souls
(10:17):
Day, which is also known as AllSaints Day, during the same time
as Day of the Dead.
The act of honoring the dead iswidely celebrated around the
world, but Day of the Dead isunique in its traditions the
ofrenda, the meaning of life anddeath, the use of capillaries,
the style influenced by LaCartrina and, more recently, the
(10:37):
festivals in the streets.
Christianity is a religiousexample of Day of the Dead.
Methodists and Catholics arethe only Christian denominations
that I learned that have a Dayof the Dead.
Other denominations, such asthe Protestant branches, think
the acts that I'm going todescribe are demonic.
And for some reason, otherdenominations again, such as
(10:58):
Protestants, which includes yourapostles, no apostolic your
Baptists, those type of people,no surprise.
But they think that those actsthat I'm about to describe to
y'all is demonic and for someodd reason, they don't consider
Catholics.
Are any other denominationssimilar to Catholic Sanctism are
(11:21):
true Christianity due to theiruse of saints?
But that is for another time.
I will use Britannica toexplain these days.
All Saints Day, also called asAll Holos Day, holomos or Feast
of All Saints, in the ChristianChurch, a day commemorating all
the saints of the church, bothknown and unknown, who have
(11:42):
tamed heaven.
It is celebrated on November1st in the Western churches and
on the first Sunday afterPentecost in the Eastern
churches.
In Roman Catholicism, the feastis usually a holy day of
obligation.
It is part of the three dayTredum dedicated to remembering
the dead, beginning withHalloween, october 1st, followed
(12:04):
by All Saints Day, november 1stand All Souls Day, november 2nd
.
The year of the origin isunknown.
Halloween descriptions comefrom historycom.
The tradition originated withthe ancient Celtic festival of
Samahand, when people wouldlight bonfires and wear costumes
toward off-ghosts.
(12:24):
In the 8th century, popeGregory III exonated November
1st as a time to honor allsaints.
Soon, all Saints Dayincorporated some of the
traditions of Samahand.
The evening before was known asAll Holos Eve and later
Halloween.
Over time, halloween evolvedinto a day of activities like
trick or treating, carvingjack-o-lanterns, festive
(12:46):
gatherings done in costumes andeating treats.
Oh, I'm sorry, I pronounced thiswrong.
It's called Sawin, sorry, soSawin.
Galakbit Gaelic.
There we go, a Gaelic wordpronounced So-win is a pagan
religious festival originatingfrom an ancient Celtic spiritual
tradition.
(13:06):
It is usually celebrated fromOctober 31st to November 1st to
welcome in the horrors and usherin the darker, the
quote-unquote the dark half ofthe year.
Celebrants believe that thebarriers between the physical
world and the spirit worldbreaking down, saw in allowance
more interaction between humansand denizens of the other world.
(13:27):
The tradition of quote-unquotedumb supper, in which food was
consumed by Celebrants but onlyafter inviting ancestors to join
in Giving the families a chanceto interact with the spirits
until they left.
Following dinner, childrenwould play games to entertain
the dead, while adults wouldupdate the dead on the past
year's news that night, doorsand windows might be left open
(13:51):
for the dead to come in and eatcakes that have been left for
them.
Now, unfortunately, I was unableto find out if who do
practitioners have a specificway to celebrate Halloween,
similar to what I just describedwith some people in Mexico and,
of course, with Catholics andMethodist.
But I'm gonna tell y'all what Ido for my Halloween rituals for
(14:13):
my ancestors.
Okay, so I cooked dinner, pourour libations and have a dumb
supper.
I started this a few years ago.
It might not seem any differentthan what I normally do on the
day-to-day, but I put an extraspin on it with different color
candles to give them the energythat they desire, which Goes
with the color of the candle.
(14:33):
So, for example, if it's red ororange, that could mean healing
.
Now, it's not the same ritualeach time and, to be honest, a
lot of things I do vary on theirneeds and what I feel called to
do During this time of the dumbsupper.
Before I began, per usual, Ithank them, giving them their
offerings, like the candles, andbeing silent.
(14:55):
Now, normally when I'm at thealtar, as you know, I talked to
them about giving gratitude,which is pretty cool because,
again, that's what did a littlesmirk those, some of those
people would do like I said.
They, like I said earlier, theywould give updates of what
happened in the world.
Um, so I do that.
Um, again, I'm not going to saydaily or weekly, but I at least
(15:18):
try to update my ancestorsabout things that's going on in
the world so they can be in theknow.
And I'm pretty sure I told youall that.
So, anyway, I give my offeringsand I go about my day.
I like to keep things simple,k-i-s-s, and to me simple or
grandiose doesn't matter.
As long as they are taken careof, happy and healing, I am on
the right track.
(15:38):
Are you kinky or not?
I'm a proud kinkster of theBDSS community.
Let me tell you about thislifestyle to see if you want to
come over to the dock side.
We got candles, all right.
So Eshin is very April Produring the month of no-nud
November.
(15:59):
According to Urban Dictionary,eshin is an act of someone
holding their orgasm and thenreleasing it, which leads into
more pleasure.
I have tried to esch duringno-nud November.
I never make it to November30th, I mean December 1st.
Matter of fact, I orgasm.
Yesterday thanks to my boothing.
(16:21):
He knew it was no-nud November.
I told him it was, I remindedhim and y'all I tried.
I promised I'd try but wehadn't seen each other in like
five days.
So 11-49 yesterday I fuckingcame.
I didn't even last half the day.
(16:43):
All right.
Now I do know of people thatcan age.
I mean not age, of coursepeople can age, but age and
according to them it makes thenut that more satisfying and
stronger when they can nut oncommand from their top, their
dumb or their dumb-a.
Sometimes during intimate timewith my boo thing.
(17:03):
I do a countdown for him and healways come after one.
It's cute to me.
There is a man in my formerlocal BDSM community that edged
himself for masturbationpurposes and would not have
penis and vagina sex.
I think he made it to like 21days.
He was like when he came, y'all, imagine a scene from scary
(17:29):
movie where the nut was sopowerful, the woman crashing to
the wall or the ceiling.
Look, she crashed intosomething.
I ain't seen that movie inabout forever.
Go on YouTube.
Okay, in this actual story hetold me that the woman, she was
a toaster strudel.
You get it If not a dictionary.
So when I was with my sir Icould not come until he
(17:53):
commanded me to and I would getso fucking aggravated because he
would stop spanking me orcoyotes when he knows I'm there,
like really dude.
But when I was given permissionit was satisfying.
Speaking of orgasm to now.
That is also edging, so you canuse both terms interchangeably.
I encourage you I really do,even though I know y'all won't
(18:15):
do it but try edging.
But make sure you tell yourpartners first, even if they're
a sadist, but make sure you tellthem about it because you know
we got to communicate and theyhave to consent to it.
I am pretty sure 99.9% of themwon't like it, but hey, if they
do, let me know.
And because I found out,clearly you can send me listener
(18:38):
emails.
So stay tuned to the nextsegment and I will read my first
listener email disaster andwinter GPU, esa, intel, apex.
(19:16):
I never had anyone send me alistener email.
I read it still in disbelief,like this gotta be a setup.
Then I looked at the data andsaid, hmm, okay, let me give it
a go.
This email is long as fuck.
This podcast episode, I feel,is already long-winded and y'all
(19:37):
be having short attention spans.
Therefore, I will give you themeat and potatoes of this email
Before I continue.
If anybody ever reaches out tome, please, please, please, do
not call me a girl.
I went over that in the firstpodcast episode.
Alright, so, in summation, thislistener wants advice on talking
to their partner who has abelly button, kink or fetish.
(19:59):
I'm not quite sure which one.
Both words are usedinterchangeably, but there is a
difference.
Anyway, the partner wants tolick, touch, caress, insert
items such as ice and play withthe person's belly button.
Next Thursday's episode, whichwill be two weeks from now, I
will do a part two and talkabout belly button fetishes,
(20:19):
because this is hellainteresting to me.
The problem is, the writer'sbelly button is sensitive, so
when their partner plays in thatarea, they don't like it.
As you can imagine, this couldpotentially cause a riff in the
relationship, which I get it.
You want your partner to behappy and enjoy exploring and
getting off.
However, if you say that youdon't like it and or it causes
(20:40):
you pain, they might not takeyour response.
Well, who wants tointentionally cause pain to
their partner?
Hopefully, no one.
And also, when I just said thatyou know, I know you BDSM.
People don't mind causing pain,but you get it right and you
also don't want to feel likeyou're being judged for enjoying
this not so common kink.
(21:01):
Well, here's my response.
Finally, I know, but you knowme, I love to give details, all
right.
So, friendly reminder, I am nota medical doctor, I'm not a
relationship expert, nor do Ipossess any qualifications to
give you the end all be allanswer.
Please refer to my intro on mypodcast.
Now that I got that shit out ofway.
(21:23):
Medication is essential to anyrelationship, so I believe you
got to tell your partner thatarea of your body sensitive.
If you want to and if you canafford to, maybe go to the
doctor to see if there'sanything you can do to
desensitize that area, ensurethat it's not a serious medical
concern as well, then tell yourpartner that, due to the
sensitivity of that area, youdon't particularly enjoy the
(21:45):
play.
It is definitely not them, butit's you.
From here, if you want, you cancome to a compromise with your
partner or just say that thisarea is red, and in the BDSM
community red means no.
If you have a compromise,ensure there is a safe word
attached to the play, like aword you would never say during
(22:05):
sex, like red or pineapples.
Once you say for it, all playmust end.
Your partner can also check inon you during the time by asking
for a color.
Green means keep going, I'menjoying the fuck out of this.
Red means check on me to seewhere I am.
And red means full stop intransmission.
The way both of you can get alittle play, that way both of
(22:28):
you can get a little play.
But once you start hurting, yougot to stop, not only for you
because, like you say thisirritated, but also for your
partner, because again, I don'tknow your partner, but I am
hoping that again your partnerdoes not want to have you in
pain.
All right.
So now, if you don't want to dobelly button play, that's fine
(22:49):
too.
You have a right.
It's your body.
Again, let your partner knowthat this fetish is not for you.
It's again due to the fact thatyour belly button is sensitive,
and you can always findalternative ways to enjoy play
together, if possible.
Well, I've talked long enough.
Thank you out.
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