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January 29, 2025 • 39 mins
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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
As our heroes explored Ugrange, they
discovered a town that seemstorn between one decision to
stay neutral or join Soldeus.
Meanwhile, small skirmishesseem to be happening just
outside the gates that thepublic is unaware of.
The next 24 hours may just bethe most important this town has
ever known.
The world breaks everyone, andafterwards, some are strong at

(00:20):
the broken places.
Ernest Hemingway, Welcome toepisode three.
Everybody, my name is TylerWaltz and I will be your DM
today, and to my left is Kevin.

Speaker 2 (00:29):
Eggleston and I'll be playing Frolin Lealties, a
dragon-born war veteran thatjust wants to know what happened
to his squad.

Speaker 3 (00:41):
He got real.
I don't think his voice is thatdeep.

Speaker 2 (00:42):
No, it's not, I'm trying something new.

Speaker 3 (00:46):
Hi everybody.
I'm Tyson Cox.
I play Vance Ironside.
He's a dwarven cleric who likesto travel and do good in the
world and heal those in need.

Speaker 1 (00:57):
And this is Monster, monster.
So last time we got to see whatwas going on at the temple and
some of the anti-Soldeuspropaganda and we left on Cavan
walking into or I guess not,cavan, cavan.
You're sitting at the bar andthen a character walks in and
you're like, hey, that lookslike my character.

Speaker 2 (01:14):
Hey, that's a dragonborn.

Speaker 1 (01:17):
Frolin walks into the bar and sees a huge wave of
anti-Soldeus stuff and what hethinks is a familiar face
sitting at a table in the back.

Speaker 2 (01:28):
I remember asking that firbolg which one would be
cool with us and starting tothink he might have been blind.

Speaker 1 (01:35):
Well, he did tell you south and around his area and
then he said north and thetavern were not quite his type.

Speaker 2 (01:43):
Okay, I thought he was just telling me where the
gay bars were.

Speaker 1 (01:48):
I thought he was just using innuendo, just an old
homophobic verbal.

Speaker 3 (01:53):
Oh no, he seemed kind of nice until now.

Speaker 2 (01:57):
Yeah, so I'm going to look around.
I'm just going to pull my cloaka little bit tighter to kind of
make sure I'm not showing anyof those symbols.
I'm just going to pull my cloaka little bit tighter to kind of
make sure I'm not showing anyof those symbols.

Speaker 1 (02:08):
Really regretting getting the I heart Sodeus shirt
before I left on this adventure.
You just hear, hey, that guy'scovering symbols.

Speaker 3 (02:14):
Get him.

Speaker 2 (02:20):
It's that damn perceptive gnome child from
earlier.
And then you said I saw the elffrom the caravan.
Yes, and he seems to beengaging in conversation with
another guard or with a guard.

Speaker 1 (02:31):
Yes, he is talking to a clearly Saldayan soldier.
Okay, okay.

Speaker 2 (02:38):
Would I.
Is there any chance I mightrecognize this soldier?
No, because she's very young,probably brand brand new.
She looks very frazzled.
Okay, uh, it's weird, she's inthe bar with clearly
anti-soldier and stuff on.
Uh, I'm just gonna go up to uhthe bartender.
Okay, what's, who is who's?

Speaker 1 (02:57):
that the the bartender?
Yeah, uh, he doesn't give you aname or anything, he just
assumes that you're anothercustomer and he looks up and he
goes what can I get you, hi?

Speaker 2 (03:08):
Well, uh, I take a round of your finest, one for
myself, uh, and one for, and I'mgoing to nod, nod over to the
nut, over to the elf, the onefor, yeah, right, Just I'm going
to get him.
And a towel.
Just nod over to the elf and belike what were my friends

(03:36):
drinking?
I'd like to surprise them withsomething.

Speaker 1 (03:38):
Oh, he looks over and he's like.
It looks like just a couple ofales.

Speaker 2 (03:44):
All right, I'll take three ales and just bring them
over to that table, would you beso kind?
Also, do you have any Saldanflags?
You can stick in one of them.
It's a goof, it's a thing we do, it's like a little prank.
Do you have a decorativemargarita skewer or a martini
skewer?
He?

Speaker 1 (04:04):
gestures to you and he just kind of does one of
these.

Speaker 2 (04:08):
Oh can you cut out the flag that you have with the
little X through it and juststick that on there.

Speaker 1 (04:14):
I don't get paid enough to do this.

Speaker 2 (04:15):
You do now I slide him another coin.

Speaker 1 (04:19):
Okay, I mean the owner might be upset.
It's kind of his thing.
But he goes and he'll do it.
Yeah, and he'll put a littleflag in it.

Speaker 2 (04:28):
I want that one to go to the elf.

Speaker 1 (04:30):
Okay, you're clearly trying to make it look like
pro-Soldayan, right.

Speaker 3 (04:37):
I just want to make sure I'm understanding the
situation Okay.
What in life has your characterthat where?
He's like, yeah, they have proflags just everywhere,
squandered in the bar?

Speaker 1 (04:51):
yeah, it's like going into a restaurant, tales, yeah
right or going into a restaurant.
It's like I'll take a zevia.

Speaker 2 (04:59):
It's like what the yeah, give me tab.
I like a fresca, but from thetap.

Speaker 3 (05:06):
Yeah, could you run to the gas station and get me a
chernado?

Speaker 2 (05:12):
Oh, something with tamarind in.
It would be lovely.

Speaker 1 (05:16):
But he pours the drinks and he goes to hand them
to you to take over to the table.

Speaker 2 (05:21):
Oh, so we don't do table service here.
Okay Well, this gag.
Don't do table service here.
Okay Well, this gag is going toget less fun.
What kind of establishment.
Do you think that this is Onethat valued a five-star rating
on Fantasy Yelp?
But no, alas, we're not theshaggy owl there has gone down.

Speaker 3 (05:44):
It'd be on Thaumaturge, wouldn't it?
It wouldn't be Yelp, it'd be onthaumaturge wouldn't, it
wouldn't be yelp, it'd bethaumaturge.

Speaker 1 (05:47):
He just kind of sighs and he goes not everything has
to be fantasy words I think it'sbetter than fantasy yelp um, he
just looks and he goes.
I'll, I'll bring him to thetable nope, nope, nope.

Speaker 2 (05:59):
I don't want to put you out with your job buddy, you
know what?

Speaker 1 (06:07):
I have a voucher for this.
No, you don't.
Your vouchers are not welcomehere.

Speaker 2 (06:12):
Wow, he hates Marcus too.
What did?

Speaker 3 (06:16):
he do to you.
He is a Sulean sympathizer,right.

Speaker 1 (06:19):
Sound guard Right, yeah, yeah, he is a Sulean guard
.

Speaker 2 (06:24):
All right, I'm just going to go, I'm going to just
look like I'm the cheeriestperson, I'm going to sit right
next to the Saldan guard andthen I'm also.
Can I do like a slight of handcheck, to like palm a dagger
under the table?
Sure, yeah, all right.
Good job there, bud, that isgoing to be a 20.

Speaker 1 (06:43):
Oh, OK, you're very lucky because to be a 20.
Oh, okay, you're very luckybecause I got a 19.
So you sit down and they'reclearly like if Tyson was the
guard and I'm the elf.
He's very clearly like layingsomething out, he's just a lot
of hand motions, he's trying tokeep like a low profile.
And then you just sit down andhe just on a dime stops.

(07:04):
I'm going just sit down and hejust on a dime stops.

Speaker 2 (07:06):
I'm going to put my arm around the Saldan guard,
that kind where I'm trying tolook very convivial but also
making it so she can't flee.
Okay, Friends.

Speaker 1 (07:17):
She is actively scared.

Speaker 2 (07:20):
Around to Saldan's health.
The glass shows up and I waslike no, no, the one with the
flag is yours, elf.
No, no, put it in front of him,Put it, goddammit, and I just
hand them out the way I wantthem he takes it and then he
looks at the guard and then rollme an insight check 12.

(07:42):
, 12.
, 12.

Speaker 1 (07:43):
So you don't pick up on anything and uh, I'm just
proud of my deception.
I'm watching to see if hedrinks it drink it.

Speaker 2 (07:54):
Drink it with the flag he.

Speaker 1 (07:55):
Uh, I hope it pokes you in the eye, you, son of a
bitch he kind of looks at the,at the tankard, and he doesn't
drink it, but he's holding ontoit and he looks over and he goes
.
I, you called us friends but I,I don't.
I don't believe we've metbefore.

Speaker 2 (08:14):
Oh, you don't.
We rode together on a caravan.
You might not have rememberedme, because I was.
I was there when it wasattacked and you fled moments
before.
It's fine, I don't think thoseare connected.

Speaker 1 (08:29):
He looks at you and roll me an insight.
Check he goes.

Speaker 2 (08:32):
You seem to have mistaken me for somebody else.
I got a 20.

Speaker 1 (08:37):
A 20.
Okay, so it's very clearly him,but he is staying incredibly
calm, cool, collected, notgiving you like an inch.

Speaker 2 (08:48):
I well, friend, I if I mistook you, it must have been
a twin or a.
Do you have a brother thatlooks similar to you?
Did you once trade IDs with himto sneak into a tavern early?
He goes in your youth.

Speaker 1 (09:00):
He goes.
I don't think you understandthe meaning of friend.
I don't know you and you'veinterrupted our conversation.

Speaker 2 (09:08):
Well, when I see a fellow and I'm going to just
open my cloak a little bit afellow soldier of Soldeus,
enjoying a beverage with a manthat I know fled a caravan where
women and children werethreatened, I often think to
myself that's a man that needsfriends.
Roll me persuasion my charisma12.

Speaker 1 (09:30):
Okay, well, with his charisma eight.

Speaker 2 (09:33):
So so we're just in an uncharisma.
It's awkward it's just like Ijust say, friend.

Speaker 3 (09:44):
You have to kind of sneeze the whole time.

Speaker 1 (09:46):
Yeah, he looks at you and he goes.
I understand where you'recoming from.
And then he looks at the Soldanguard and then back at you and
he goes.
But this is hardly anappropriate time.
And at about that time, Vance,you walk into the tavern,

(10:08):
because that's where you saidyou were on your way to.

Speaker 2 (10:12):
I'm going to take the flag out of the elf's drink and
put it in one that hasn't beendrank.
I'm like I'm going to give thisto my friend.
It's going to be hilarious.

Speaker 1 (10:19):
And you see the same thing, except you see your body
frozen sitting at a table withtwo people.
Roll me a perception check tosee if you recognize 21.

Speaker 2 (10:30):
21.

Speaker 1 (10:31):
Okay, so you have the same suspicion that that is the
elf, but you do not know thelady.
The lady hasn't said anythingand looks like a deer in
headlights.

Speaker 3 (10:43):
I'm just going to grab a seat at the bar closest
to the table.
Okay, uh, and just get a.
Can I get a ale?

Speaker 2 (10:51):
can I do a quick like nod to him to be like watch,
like is there a back exit orsomething like just like hey
look over there uh, just watchthat in case somebody's going
that way and I don't acknowledgeit at all, but I do it.

Speaker 1 (11:03):
Okay, cool, the bartender goes well.

Speaker 3 (11:07):
at least I got one fucking normal customer today
and he hands you a beer, andthen I do a little dance and
he's like god damn it, he goesyou want me to tear any shit off
the wall?

Speaker 1 (11:16):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (11:18):
I'm just like no, that seems like a pretty crazy
request.

Speaker 2 (11:20):
I'm going to point at the glass and be like what the
fuck it is.

Speaker 1 (11:25):
And he just looks at you and goes I'm just still
upset from this other guy.
I was like it's not.

Speaker 2 (11:30):
I have that effect on people.

Speaker 3 (11:32):
Isn't it usually my job to complain about my life to
the bartender, not the otherway around?

Speaker 1 (11:36):
Not today.

Speaker 2 (11:37):
You're not a hot lady bartender.
You can't get away with this.

Speaker 3 (11:45):
But yeah, no, I just keep an eye on the back door and
I just get my ale and I quaffit and I get another one because
I'm a dwarf.

Speaker 1 (11:49):
Do you respond to the ?
This isn't the appropriateplace comment.

Speaker 2 (11:54):
Well if you have a place you'd rather talk, I'm
amenable.
We're all friends here.
You can continue on yourconversation.
How do you two feel about thevote?
I am taking a look at thesignage and I'm saying doesn't
seem particularly friendly.
Here I had a Furbog friend thatassured me Soldeus was

(12:16):
well-beloved and I'm starting tohave some doubts.

Speaker 1 (12:21):
Well, that's what happens when you move outside of
the districts that they control.
But I have time later.
I'm clearly speaking withsomebody on some private manners
that still don't think youunderstand what the word friend
means, Are you two?

Speaker 2 (12:36):
oh, oh no, is this a Tinder thing?

Speaker 1 (12:38):
Did I, whatever gets you to leave.

Speaker 2 (12:44):
Okay, I'm gonna just be like, where would you want to
meet friend dwarf?
I'm gonna just that dagger thatI've got hidden, I'm just gonna
put it against his leg.

Speaker 1 (12:56):
Is it?

Speaker 2 (12:56):
friend dwarf.
You just walk up to Vance, puta dagger in his leg.
I don't see species.
Sorry, friend elf, I'm going toput that dagger against his leg
.
Where would you like to meetsoon?

Speaker 1 (13:18):
You start to feel a dagger in your leg.

Speaker 2 (13:20):
Oh, I just thought I was excited to see friend elf.

Speaker 1 (13:24):
And he goes just hang around.

Speaker 2 (13:27):
Let me finish this conversation, see how this goes,
and then we can talk aboutwhatever you like all right, and
then I'm gonna turn to the thelady guard, and I'm gonna be
like, uh, excuse me, do you knowa marcus?

Speaker 1 (13:39):
she goes yeah, I'm married to his brother.
He's a really good guy.
I hope he hasn't lost his waylike really recently.

Speaker 2 (13:50):
Honestly, if 10 minutes with me is enough to
break a person, were they?

Speaker 3 (13:55):
really a good person.

Speaker 2 (14:01):
It is.
It's weird.
Everyone, you're going to usepast tense a lot.
We're talking about Marcus.
I feel like we're in goodperson relations.
No, I'm just going to give himmy best and tell him thank you
for the coupon.
He'll know what I mean she goes, thank you.

Speaker 1 (14:19):
Are you leaving yet?

Speaker 2 (14:21):
Yeah, no, I feel like you're not going to have a
second date with this elf.
Also, you're married and you'reon a date.

Speaker 1 (14:25):
Wow, wow.

Speaker 2 (14:28):
And a shocking amount of open infidelity in this
village.

Speaker 3 (14:31):
Yeah, nothing else to do, really.

Speaker 2 (14:33):
Seven.

Speaker 1 (14:34):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (14:34):
You don't pick up anything.
No, because I'm like, I'mrespecting these two, like hey.
I don't support it, but you doyour own thing.
Maybe Marcus's brother's intoit.
Marcus struck me as kind of acuck.
You're making a lot ofassumptions about people you
don't know Well.
I interacted with Marcus and weshared coupons, and once you've

(14:55):
shared a coupon with a man,it's a bond for life.

Speaker 1 (14:58):
Does every conversation with you go like
30% too long?

Speaker 2 (15:01):
Yes, how long has this one been going?

Speaker 3 (15:08):
Yes.
And then I just leave Wait,wait, wait Now.

Speaker 1 (15:17):
So a little bit of time passes, patrons go in and
out, it's probably been about anhour and a half, and then the
soldier, awkwardly, just kind ofstands up and hurries out and a
date did not go well, huh andat about that time the elf comes
and sits next to both of youbetter luck next time.

Speaker 2 (15:36):
Huh, more fish in the sea sure, also.

Speaker 1 (15:44):
I didn't catch your name and I will soon, depending
on how well this conversationgoes.

Speaker 2 (15:51):
So let's start with this.
I'm going to ask a guest rightnow Yay or nay, how's this going
to go?

Speaker 1 (15:57):
I think that's entirely up to your decisions.

Speaker 2 (16:00):
Oh, it's a cagey one yeah.

Speaker 1 (16:03):
He goes.
Well, you should head to thesouth of town and you catch that
side remark and he goes.
He looks at you and he goes.
Are you friends?
I don't think he knows whatthat word is, but I'm hoping you
do.

Speaker 3 (16:18):
I'm friendly.

Speaker 1 (16:20):
Okay, yeah, what brings you to town?
Let's just start from scratch.
Let's assume that this is thefirst time we're ever talking to
each other.
What's the deal?

Speaker 3 (16:32):
Well, howdy, I'm Vance Just traveling.

Speaker 2 (16:36):
Okay, we were on the same caravan as you.
We got to the back half of thejourney, more swordplay than
normal on a caravan.
You would have known, but youweren't there, so like right
before it happened.
So follow-up question what thehell?

Speaker 1 (16:55):
uh, that seemed to be a happy uh coincidence uh, for
me.
Oh, people died and it washappy coincidence for I mean I,
I'm not responsible for everyperson that's around.
I just didn't quite want to getmy information checked at that
guard point, so you didn't knowit was about to be attacked.
I did not, and you can bothroll insights on that.

Speaker 3 (17:17):
Oh, thank you, Permission from the elf is like
you can roll insight on that.

Speaker 2 (17:21):
Yeah, what do you think I'm thinking?
Dude, naturally.

Speaker 1 (17:24):
Okay, oh, your dice are so good.
You said five.
Yeah, they're pretty good,they're very weighted.

Speaker 2 (17:30):
I'm just going to burn this set.
Glad you bought those today.
Yeah, no, that was an excellentpurchase, so you said five
right.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (17:41):
So you don't know, but he's telling the truth.
There's not any inflection inhis voice or anything.
He's not any inflection in hisvoice or anything.
He's not looking away ordarting his eyes or anything.
He seems to be telling thetruth.
Who was the checkpoint run by?
The checkpoint was ran bySaldayan guards.

Speaker 2 (18:00):
So, my friend, you seem to.
I noticed you left the flagover there.
Some people keep it as mementos.
It's kind of like when you goto Margaritaville and you pay
extra for the novelty cup.

Speaker 1 (18:13):
You left the flag, I'm going to go get it for you.

Speaker 2 (18:16):
You know what?
I'll be right back, but no whatthe hell is going on.

Speaker 3 (18:23):
I'm very invested in you having this.
He gets a thing and he justwon't let it go.
He's like a dog, it seems likeit.

Speaker 2 (18:31):
But you seem to be wary of Soldeus.
Yet you were conversing withthat guard and the longer I
think about it, I don't think itwas a date thing.

Speaker 3 (18:43):
Oh yeah, that definitely was not a date.

Speaker 1 (18:48):
I don't personally have any issues with soldius
themselves, but I will call outany uh actions that I deem is
inappropriate for my cause.
So when I see wrongdoing, Ipoint it out and do what I can
to stop it and what is yourcause?

Speaker 2 (19:05):
well, because we are gentlemen of causes, vance,
what's yours?
I know what it is, but say itfor everyone.

Speaker 3 (19:14):
Oh, uh, yeah, yeah, sorry, I just that's a really
deep question, thrilling.

Speaker 2 (19:23):
See, as you can see, that is a worthy cause.

Speaker 3 (19:26):
Do good in the world.

Speaker 1 (19:28):
Try to leave it a better place and, uh, he, he
kind of looks down and he goeslook, I don't need a bunch of
people knowing that I'm here, solet's just keep this as quick
as possible to see what ourrelationship is like going
forward.
How familiar are you with thisvote that's going on tomorrow?

Speaker 3 (19:49):
To my knowledge.
I mean, we just got here, soit's a lot of ins and outs, a
lot of complicated nuances.

Speaker 2 (20:01):
It seems like it's yay Soldeus, nay Soldeus.
It really is binary, honestly.

Speaker 1 (20:05):
That is how they want the general public to feel, but
it seems like Soldeus, NaySoldeus it really is binary,
honestly.
That is how they want thegeneral public to feel, but it
seems like Soldeus has somemotivation to make sure that not
everybody gets their say.
In might be a simple way to putit Are you suggesting they're
doing some vote rigging orgerrymandering.

Speaker 2 (20:24):
They're making it not easy rigging or gerrymandering
or what's.
They're making it not easy.
We are a political animal, uh,like a, like a hammer really.
We just we see every problem asa nail you're talking about
soldans?

Speaker 1 (20:36):
yes, that seems to be , uh, what I've been seeing.
So if you are on the south orsoutheastern side of town,
you'll notice a lot of prosoldSoldaian posters, propaganda
.
There's propaganda on bothsides, but you can see where it
is very catered and it's notallowed to be discussed in any
way, shape or form.

(20:56):
Differently, the Soldaians seemto have brought it upon
themselves to make sure thatthis election seems on the up
and up, but it's very clearlygoing to go a certain way.

Speaker 2 (21:10):
Are you saying it's already been decided?

Speaker 1 (21:14):
Yes and no.
It has been decided by peoplethat are allowed to decide.
And he's being very vaguebecause you came off strong.

Speaker 3 (21:25):
Why are they afraid of letting the vote go?
I?

Speaker 2 (21:28):
have like a 16 strike .

Speaker 1 (21:29):
That's pretty good yeah he's like oh, let me see
that character sheet.
You buff as hell, my dude.
Uh, what are we about to?

Speaker 3 (21:37):
say why?
Why are they so afraid of theuh of the vote?

Speaker 1 (21:41):
I think the most polite way that I can put this
is that if the people want tojoin, they don't need to be
forced to join.

Speaker 3 (21:55):
Well yeah that's what I'm saying.
It's like why are they so?
You're saying they're going tolose if they don't.

Speaker 1 (22:01):
What I'm telling you is that the public wants to join
.

Speaker 3 (22:09):
Then I'm confused.
And why are they rigging thevote then?

Speaker 1 (22:12):
Roll an insight check With apparently disadvantage 14
.
14.
So you can tell that he isimplying that the people want to
, because that's what the peopleare being forced into yeah,
it's not that the general publicwants this.

Speaker 3 (22:31):
No no, I, I get that.
He but vance is asking like,like, obviously, yes, that's
what's happening.
But why are they afraid of that?
Not, why are they afraid ofleaving it up to gotcha?
Uh that was the question, notlike what the situation is got
it okay.

Speaker 1 (22:48):
Uh, he goes well.
This location is just outsidethe border of soldeus itself and
is a very strategic location toget to a trading port to the
north, but also a veryconveniently located outpost
that is of interest to them inthe south.
So it would be interesting togo to those ports without

(23:09):
getting to the middle ground, ifyou catch my drift.

Speaker 3 (23:12):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (23:14):
So, from what I've heard and from some
whistleblowers, it seems asthough the people that are
wanting to vote against to stayneutral in this conflict, as the
uh oath makers coalition hasdone their best to do so far.
Soldeus seems to be making surethat that won't happen.
Like I said, nothing againstSoldeus there are no good, there

(23:39):
are no good guys in war, but Ido believe that these people
have the right to decide theirown fate.

Speaker 3 (23:46):
What do you think the best way of preventing the
tampering would be?

Speaker 1 (23:53):
Well, I would feel a bit more comfortable answering
that if I knew where the two ofyou stood.
No offense to your friend, buthe kind of did make it very
clear which side he seems to beon right now.

Speaker 2 (24:06):
Got your flag.

Speaker 3 (24:10):
Yeah, I don't think he's on the side of vote
tampering.

Speaker 2 (24:15):
No, in fact, it sounds like this would lead to
more conflict.

Speaker 3 (24:20):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (24:21):
I can't see.

Speaker 1 (24:22):
But this would be a big win strategically for
Soldeus.

Speaker 2 (24:26):
So that is not a conflict of interest for you,
but I worry more about putting atown that has maintained its
neutrality at risk of invasionfrom other sides trying to seize
it back.
Location as strategicallyimportant has probably protected
it more than any Saldan shield.

Speaker 1 (24:48):
He goes, follow me and he puts a couple coins on
the bar.
Do you guys go with?

Speaker 2 (24:54):
him.
Yeah, I'm going to follow him.
You also left the flag.

Speaker 1 (24:58):
Yeah, I'm not taking the fucking flag.
I was like I know comedy isrule of threes, but that was the
fourth time.

Speaker 2 (25:07):
I paid for it.

Speaker 3 (25:10):
What's with you and that flag?
My guy, You're crazy stuck onthis flag thing.

Speaker 2 (25:15):
You ever have a gag that you're really committed to.

Speaker 3 (25:19):
Yeah, let it go.
We're witnessing it in realtime.

Speaker 1 (25:24):
He goes.
I can see that both of you aredon't take this the wrong way
rather bulky, and for wherewe're going, we're going to need
to be discreet.
One might say.

Speaker 3 (25:34):
Phanth jiggles his tummy.
He's like that's rude, I'mgoing to reach down and jiggle
his tummy too.

Speaker 1 (25:43):
Not what I was talking about.
I was more referring to thatloud ass armor that you're
wearing.

Speaker 3 (25:49):
Sorry, I couldn't hear you.

Speaker 1 (25:49):
My armor was jingling and then he kind of does one of
these and you see that he is inlike very like loose row.
Not ropes, that's what I'mwearing, but like a cloak.

Speaker 2 (26:02):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (26:03):
Stealthy.
He's essentially saying can youditch the armor for a little
bit?

Speaker 3 (26:07):
I I take some Saran wrap and I wrap my armor very
tightly so it doesn't clink.

Speaker 2 (26:14):
Oh, that you're just gonna put yourself in a Saran
wrap and I'm like, ah, we canclearly see your nuts, yeah.

Speaker 1 (26:19):
I am crazy.

Speaker 3 (26:20):
So now, everywhere you move it's like yeah, and
then I go like I didn't thinkthis one through and I cut off
all the Saran Wrap.

Speaker 1 (26:26):
Okay, that'll take days.
That felt like a family guyside bit.

Speaker 2 (26:30):
It was like yeah, I'm going to take off my armor.
I'm just taking a look at mysheet to be like wait, where is?

Speaker 1 (26:41):
my armor.

Speaker 2 (26:47):
So now I really don't want to do this, but I'm gonna.
I'm gonna drop trow, uh, oh.
Well, I mean I got like like ajerkin on it.
Well, the jerkin's a shirt.

Speaker 3 (26:55):
Well, I got these pants off and I'm jerkin you
also got the fresh clothes fromthe furball I'll switch into the
fresh clothes that'll keep myshield out, because like that's
not cool, uh, sounds good.

Speaker 1 (27:04):
And then he goes.
Just leave your stuff with thebartender.
He'll he's taking.
I'll switch into the freshclothes.

Speaker 3 (27:10):
That'll keep my shield out, because that's not
Cool, sounds good, and then hegoes, just leave your stuff with
the bartender.
He's taken care of me before heknows.
No, I'm going to put it in thebag In the back In my bag.
Oh, in your bag.
I'm just going to keep it inthe bag on me.

Speaker 2 (27:22):
It's a crazy thing.
To my armor too.
This bartender seems a littlemiffed with me to be honest, I
wonder why?

Speaker 3 (27:32):
Because I tipped him to do a little origami work you
have done nothing on camera.

Speaker 1 (27:38):
That seems off-putting to somebody just
trying to do their job.

Speaker 2 (27:41):
I try to involve him in a goof.

Speaker 1 (27:46):
Hey, Kevin, next time you go to any restaurant.

Speaker 2 (27:50):
No, they all seem happy when they sing the
birthday song and bring you icecream.

Speaker 1 (27:53):
They seem to love it, right, and he goes, okay, and
he starts leading you throughthe southern end of town where
you start to see that it's veryclearly fabricated, right, like
if you've seen those videos fromlike North Korea where the news
team is like no, they have aWalmart here.
It's very catered to the publiceye and I need both of you to

(28:17):
roll me stealth checks.

Speaker 3 (28:19):
And I don't have disadvantage because I put my
thing on, but I do have anegative one, so 13.

Speaker 1 (28:24):
That's going to be a 19 the area that you pull up to
is essentially that processingarea and roll me perception
checks 15, 10 vance you noticethat there are three separate
buildings and each one tend tobe four different people.

(28:44):
So when they're processingthese people, they're seeing if
they're local and then, ifthey're local, who they
essentially support.
So you're seeing guards thatare asking questions to these
people and some of the questionsthat you're hearing are when
was the last time you were here?
Do you live here?
How's your feeling on the king?

(29:05):
When's the last time you werehere?
Do you live here?
How's your feeling on the king?
When's the last time you wentto soldeus?
They're very catered questions,kind of sussing out the beliefs
of these people.
The ones that are answeringmore pro oath makers tend to be
not necessarily seen, but not inlike a.
They're getting killed, butthey're clearly getting filtered

(29:27):
out from the rest of the people, like it's odd that half of
these people that live here aregetting to leave this area.

Speaker 3 (29:32):
Yeah, hmm, don't know what I can do about that.

Speaker 1 (29:39):
But he looks at you and he goes.
But you see where I'm comingfrom now.
You don't just have to trustwhat I say.
You can clearly see that theyare tampering with how this is
going to go tomorrow.

Speaker 2 (29:54):
Yeah, that's not good .
Seems very clunky andcumbersome.
Why are they doing this so outin the open?

Speaker 1 (30:01):
Because it was an emergency vote due to convenient
circumstances.
Let's just say, a large chunkof the population on the
northern side just got sent overto an outpost just north for
the sake of what's a good way toput it neighborhood
reconstruction might be a goodway to put it Neighborhood

(30:23):
reconstruction might be a goodway to put it.
There's a bunch of buildingsthat got condemned, so the
temporary housing is justoutside the city, where it's a
little bit more than a day'strip to make it back for the
vote.

Speaker 2 (30:36):
Oh God, when they come back, it's going to be
gourmet cupcake shops.

Speaker 1 (30:43):
And a Chipotle Salons for dogs.
We can't have that.
So there are.
There are currently threethings going on in the city
right now that are, uh,dampening this vote.
There is this that you can see.
There is the outpost to thenorth, which it seems like we
can't do too much about, butwith the amount of time that we
have, we we could maybe get someof these people back and then

(31:06):
over around the temple areathere seem to be small conflicts
where guards are telling people, uh, false, false information.
Guards are going door to doortelling people that the vote is
canceled when in fact it is notwell, son of a bitch.

Speaker 2 (31:23):
Does this have anything to do with the bandit
attacks that we've faced?

Speaker 1 (31:27):
Bandits.

Speaker 2 (31:29):
Okay, now we're starting to sound like a
conspiracy theorist.

Speaker 1 (31:32):
It's not a conspiracy theory.

Speaker 2 (31:33):
if it's the truth, they're going to be like oh, the
rain's turning, the dragonborngay Let me tell you about the
earth.
Hard pivot.

Speaker 1 (31:48):
The way that I see it , if we can assist at least two
of these groups, it could bejust enough to make this a fair
vote now.
I understand if you haveconcerns, because we don't
necessarily know if that's howthe vote is going and, from your
perspective or a Saldan'sperspective, I could be just

(32:09):
shifting the favor Like cheatingfor cheating, if you get what
I'm saying.
However, I hope that you canclearly see that wrangling these
people is not the correct wayto do this.
Yeah, I like a fair and open andhonest election.

Speaker 3 (32:22):
Yeah, I like a fair and open and honest election.
I think the easiest thing to dowould be start with going up
towards the temple and thengetting the guards to stop
telling people it's canceled.
I think that's the easiest oneto do.
Yeah, that sentence trailed offlike there was more.

Speaker 2 (32:37):
No, I was trying to think of the other two options.

Speaker 1 (32:39):
Would you turn it into a question at the end there
, yeah, by just feeling the vibeout seeing how you guys feel
about it into a question at theend there Feeling the vibe out,
seeing how you guys feel aboutit.
It started with a comma andthen it became question mark, Do
we think?

Speaker 2 (32:49):
there's any chance I could get them to release these
people back to their homes.
Could I bluff my way into themthinking, since I am a Saldanian
soldier?

Speaker 1 (32:58):
technically, you do seem to be in a unique position
to where you could speak to theguards on the north side and
tell them that there's neworders uh, like a subterfuge
kind of thing oh, I was gonnathreaten them.

Speaker 3 (33:08):
That's actually a pretty good idea.

Speaker 1 (33:09):
That's way better but you can also speak to these
guards to try and get them torelease people and, with the
shifts that are currently beingworked, obviously we cannot be
in two places at once, unless wedecide to split up.

Speaker 2 (33:24):
Well, friend dwarf Vance, you are a little bit more
persuasive than I am with thefolks, especially around the
temple.
They might look favorably on aman of the what god is that that
you worship A wolf?
Is that a wolf that's beengrowing in a mine all its life?

(33:46):
Make an insight check.

Speaker 3 (33:47):
Yeah, this is my family crest.
It's the mine wolves.
It's the local sports team.
I like 18?
.

Speaker 2 (33:54):
It's a furry wolf, fuck off, but it's got like a
miner's helmet on.

Speaker 3 (34:03):
I'm a proud family.

Speaker 2 (34:06):
I'm proud of my family Also.
Also, that'd be weird if you'relike.
I worship to the god of me.

Speaker 3 (34:12):
Oh no, that's.
That's my family crest.
I follow Palor.

Speaker 2 (34:17):
Yeah, they might respond well to a man of the
cloth.
You know You'd see a realneutral party, since you got Old
Big Papa P on your side, ohyeah.

Speaker 3 (34:26):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (34:28):
Say it, say Big Papa P is on my side.

Speaker 3 (34:30):
I'd rather not do that.

Speaker 2 (34:32):
All right, not going to pull threads on that one.

Speaker 1 (34:36):
So you're.

Speaker 3 (34:38):
Why don't?

Speaker 1 (34:39):
you take us Sounds like, you guys are on board yeah
.

Speaker 2 (34:43):
And then I'm going to be like I have a plan.
Can I gussy up, gussy up, gussyup?
So I've got a couple of thesesymbols and stuff and I have
that trinket that I bought fromthat guy and I have that trinket

(35:05):
that I bought from that guy.
Can I put any of that, like thebadge that I got on the elf,
and just be like roll with me,here we're going to go in?
Give me, you're a sneaky son ofa bitch, I'm not going to lie,
you would like you.
Just I'm going to take that asa compliment.

Speaker 1 (35:20):
You should.

Speaker 2 (35:24):
But you're also like how do?

Speaker 1 (35:29):
you do, pretending to be military intelligence.
Oh I, if you guys were handlingthese.

Speaker 2 (35:31):
I had a something else that I was going to handle
oh, but uh, you have you everseen good cop, bad cop?

Speaker 1 (35:40):
I'm going to seems a bit played out.

Speaker 2 (35:41):
I'm going to be good cop.
You're going to be SaldanianInquisition.

Speaker 1 (35:48):
Huh, so you would like my assistance in this area.

Speaker 2 (35:53):
Yes, I wanted to go into the theater and be an actor
, but my father said, no, youneed to serve your country.
And so I was like well, you candance with a sword just as well
as you can with a partner.
I don't think that's true atall.

Speaker 3 (36:15):
I learned the ballet of death.
Well, anyways, what does thathave to do with what we're doing
now?

Speaker 2 (36:19):
I'm just saying I'm going to go in and I'm going to
be your honor guard and you'regoing to help me liberate these
people.
We're going to be taking themfor the Inquisition to be
questioned.

Speaker 3 (36:32):
I mean, if you have somewhere you need to be, I
could do that.
Or do you want to be Dwarvenprisoner?

Speaker 2 (36:36):
Ooh, I love Dwarven prisoner.
What do I start a riot on theinside If you want to convince
him.

Speaker 3 (36:39):
No, actually that could be really fun If what do I
do?

Speaker 1 (36:40):
Start a riot on the inside.
If you want to convince him.

Speaker 2 (36:43):
No, actually that could be really fun.

Speaker 1 (36:44):
If you do want to convince him, it'll be an
opposed persuasion check,because he's going to look and
he goes.
I like your plan.
I appreciate the setup.
However, let's just say it's acontingency plan.
In case this doesn't go through, I have some backups that I
need to ensure are in place fortomorrow.

Speaker 2 (37:00):
All right, I'm going to you know what?
You don't earn this.

Speaker 1 (37:03):
I take that Vance Yep , I need to know oh, I didn't
even need to roll Wow.

Speaker 2 (37:11):
Do you have an inner darkness that you can?
You seem very cheerful, mosttimes very good natured.
Inquisitors are kind of notgreat.

Speaker 3 (37:20):
I think the cool thing about Inquisitors, to my
knowledge, is I could just bequiet the whole time.

Speaker 2 (37:25):
I just want to see a little bit of let me see your
Palor's mad face.

Speaker 3 (37:31):
And you see, vance just seem to disappear somewhere
deep in his psyche and his facegrows dark and glower, almost
like a shadow casts over the sun.
So it just seems darker.

Speaker 2 (37:46):
Well, shit, all right , you get this one in Spain.
Son All right, all right justdo God, do that, but do not look
at me.

Speaker 1 (37:56):
So the two of you have decided to worry about the
processing area.

Speaker 3 (38:00):
Yes, Okay, and if you have time hit up the temple.
The north yeah.

Speaker 2 (38:04):
I imagine this isn't going to take a ton of time to
like.
It's literally like hey, we,the Inquisitor wants them, let
them go, because I imagine, likewho's going to question the
Inquisition?
Like it's an Inquisition.

Speaker 3 (38:19):
They do the questioning.

Speaker 2 (38:22):
You can't question a questioner.

Speaker 1 (38:24):
He looks and he goes.
Gentlemen, I greatly appreciatethe assistance.
You will be a great help to thecause and, by the way, my name
is Zang Zach, and that's wherewe'll fade TGF Fridays, zach.
Thank you you everybody forwatching episode 3.

(38:47):
This has been Monster Monster.
My name is Tyler Waltz and youcan find everything I do here at
Monster Monster or Nerd News.

Speaker 2 (38:52):
And I'm Kevin Eggleston, and all my stuff can
be found at KevinEgglestoncom.

Speaker 3 (38:58):
I'm Tyson Cox.
You can find me atTysonCoxComedy and if you like
this, please tell a friend.
Like, share, subscribe.
We're growing so that's reallycool.
So thank you for everyonethat's listened so far and thank
you to all the new fans, heyand leave a like and comment.

Speaker 1 (39:14):
Whatever platform you're doing, do the thing they
want you to do.
Yeah, maybe five stars and staytuned for the upcoming live
shows.
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