May 28, 2025 • 46 mins
Welcome to a mind-bending journey through the veil of reality! After narrowly escaping an ambush, our heroes make their way into Silverkeep—the glittering metropolis of Soldeus built upon natural silver deposits that attract every mover and shaker in the realm.
There, they meet Galora, a halfling who presents them with magical gifts and leads them to an underground meeting with a secret organization. The elven wizard Karim, orc commander Dulik, and dimensional scout Daith (our special guest played by Rev from The Crit Show) reveal their plan: instead of fighting Alyssum's endless illusions in the material world, they'll strike directly at their source by entering her own ethereal realm.
Armed with enchanted weapons and magical tomes that allow Dolo to transmute his fire magic into more effective elements, our party prepares to cross between planes. But when the ritual to open the portal succeeds, only Vance, Dolo, and Daith are pulled through before the gateway seals—leaving them isolated in a world where thought shapes reality.
Inside Alyssum's mansion, normal rules no longer apply. Windows only break when you truly believe they can. Traps spring not just from physical triggers but from expectations. As our heroes navigate this uncanny environment, they trigger a slide trap that sends them tumbling into a cathedral-like chamber filled with spectral warriors, their heads bowed in silent prayer before an altar drenched in blood.
Just when they think they might escape unnoticed, Alyssum herself appears, revealing her sinister plans. She claims Vance and Daith have unwittingly taken portions of her power, which she intends to reclaim, while Dolo's magic will be drained to create portals throughout the land. The episode culminates in a tense standoff as Daith's arrow strikes true, awakening the fiery eyes of every spectral being in the cathedral.
Can our heroes triumph in a realm where Alyssum controls the very fabric of reality? Tune in to find out, and don't miss us at Gen Con where Monster Monster will be performing live shows that promise to be unforgettable!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Previously on Monster Monster.
Our heroes, along with theirnew friend, made it into the
port of Soldeus' largest city,the city of Silverkeep.
But an ambush hasn't made iteasy.
After an explosive struggle,they were able to break through
the enemy lines, butunfortunately the cost of this
was losing their friend DudleyWayne Budley.
Welcome to Monster Monstereverybody.
(00:21):
My name is Tyler Waltz and I amyour Dungeon Master, to my left
, as usual.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Hello everybody.
I'm Tyson Cox.
I'm playing Vance.
He's a cleric who just is maybenot the brightest candle, but
he's trying to light up the darkI like the only thing that you
did for your character was hisname.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
Vance.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Back to Tyson, to my right.
Well, vance isn't going todescribe himself like that.
Back to Tyson, tumat, right.
Speaker 4 (00:44):
Well, vance isn't going to describe himself like
that.
I'm Brian Petrie.
I'm playing Dolanmere Sedrin,aka Dolo, you know, just out
here trying to figure out how toget some necropathy out of my
neck.
We're going to see what happens.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
What an interesting phrase.
Speaker 4 (01:01):
Yeah, get it up out of your neck.
All right, and our specialguest today is.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
What an interesting phrase.
Yeah, get it up out of yourneck, all right.
And our special guest today isHi, I'm Rev.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
I'm the host and GM of the Crit Show, which is an
actual play podcast where weplay Monster of the Week and
other Powered by the Apocalypsegames, all within the same
dimension, hopping narrativeAlso.
This is this is.
I've been sitting in the otherroom while they've been
recording.
Yeah, this is the new placethey've been recording.
He likes to watch.
Speaker 4 (01:26):
It's his thing.
I've even got blinds that I canuse.
I saw.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
All right.
And you're playing.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
Yeah, I am playing Ranger Daith Garmajan, that's a
hell of a last name I was stuckon the first name.
Speaker 4 (01:40):
Daith, daith Is that with an E or no E name daith.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
Daith, is that with an e or no e?
Uh, no, e.
Okay.
Yeah, d-a-i-t-h.
Okay.
So, vance and dolo, you justbroke through a fiery wall of
illusions.
You just lost your frienddudley in the blaze and you are
on your car heading into thecity where we ended.
Was you breaking through?
How do you feel abouteverything that just happened?
Speaker 4 (02:07):
Oh shit.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
I'm sweaty.
Speaker 4 (02:13):
I'm sweaty and clammy .
Are you all right?
Yeah, I'm.
You ever breathe in fake fire.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
Fire was real.
The people were the illusions.
Speaker 4 (02:23):
Something happened.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
I got a cough av is there as well, in case you
forgot that she oh, son of abitch, yeah she didn't do
anything to help either she gotthe cart
Speaker 2 (02:32):
off the boat she did, she did do that I learned
you're very good in non-combatsituations.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
Yes, it's almost like I'm here to just fill in the
little gaps of the story, toprogress us Great.
As you head in, you notice thatno illusions are really
pursuing you at the moment, andthis is the first time that
you've actually been able totake a look at the city.
And you look up and you areeven for this alleyway.
It's huge, and both of you rollme.
(03:00):
History checks really quick.
Speaker 4 (03:02):
Mm 15.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
Okay, seven, seven, okay, seven, seven.
Okay, so you don't know toomuch.
You haven't been to Sol Deusvery much.
Dolo, you know that this isSilverkeep.
This is basically the New YorkCity of Sol Deus.
It's not their capital, but itis by far their biggest city in
the entire country.
And even just this alleywaythat you're in is completely,
(03:24):
just elegant, like they'resilver and with your history
check.
The reason that it's calledsilver keep is because it is on
one of the only natural depositsof silver in soldeus, so it is
by far the richest and everyevery mover and shaker tries to
come here in order to make aquick buck.
But even like the alleyways andstuff are very elegant.
(03:46):
And as you guys are headingdown this alleyway, you spot in
the middle of the road wavingvery frantically a halfling
trying to wave you down.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
Oh, I walk up to the halfling.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
You walk up.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
You're like speeding on a cart right now.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
Oh, this is like a hey, yeah, I step off.
Yeah, right, no, I guess I justwill drive the cart towards
them and try to slow it down.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
Okay, she is actively out of breath and she goes.
What happened back there?
Speaker 2 (04:21):
It's a Tuesday, it is .
That's a terrible explanation.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
It's a Tuesday, it is .
That's a terrible explanation.
It's Thursday.
Speaker 4 (04:29):
It's Tuesday for us.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
This doesn't make any sense to me at all.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
She doesn't know the password.
I don't think they're the onewe're looking for.
Speaker 4 (04:37):
I don't think so either.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
It was nice meeting you little ma'am.
So I guess roll me a deceptionfor the code thing.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Yeah, I was just goofing around, but 18.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
Okay, she looks down and she goes.
Silva didn't tell us anythingabout a code.
Are you the ones that Silvasent to Soldeus?
Speaker 2 (04:57):
She does know the password, all right.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
She looks up and she reaches her hand out.
She goes.
I'm Galora.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
And I scoop her and I toss her onto the cart and keep
going because I don't want tostop.
We're like four feet from thefire, right?
Speaker 1 (05:10):
No, no, no, you guys made it.
What I was describing was whatyou guys were seeing, as you
were.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
Oh, riding into the city I forget to mention she was
on fire as she was having thisconversation.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
It's real chill.
Speaker 4 (05:22):
Ironically, I don't feel pain, so she basically saw
it in the distance.
She saw an explosion in thedistance and she goes.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Oh, after you throw her up on the cart, she goes.
I was hoping that you wouldcome with me and you notice that
there is now an open door thatyou could park your cart into.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Yeah, and then I park my cart in there and then we
all hop off.
Okay, it's being polite.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
She goes.
Ah, so I haven't seen yourfaces before.
Speaker 4 (05:51):
Which one of you is Vance and which one of you is
Dolo.
All right, I'm Dolo.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
Okay, begrudgingly saying your name.
Yeah, she goes, okay, and youmust be Vance, and about that
time she reaches, reaches, sheputs down her bag and she gets
out and she hands you a mace.
Okay, and Dolo, she hands youessentially a slip of paper and
we'll get to that here in a bitand the mace that she gave you
(06:18):
is currently imbued and you cansee that silver is lining the
handle and up towards the macehead, and you know that this is
or well, well, I guess you don'tknow, but this is essentially a
plus one mace that also does1d4 radiant damage when you use
it.
And she goes.
I was told to give you this.
(06:38):
We'll talk more about your,your paper soon.
Uh, there's a spell that itwill help you cast, follow me.
And then you go, you open up adoor and it leads to a staircase
and you go down the staircaseand it opens up into a big
meeting room where you see threeother people standing in this
(06:59):
room.
You see a very large, like thelargest orc you have ever seen,
in full, heavy, silver, ornatearmor.
You see a wizard-looking elf inrobes that are lined with
silver and onyx, and then,finally, our special guest for
today is at the same table.
(07:20):
When you walk up, the elf goesah, hello, hello, our guests.
Silva has mentioned quite a bitabout you.
I, just to be blunt, I'm a bitweary, uh, especially about this
one.
Uh, a bit on the horny side.
But it seems, gentlemen, thatwe have a a stellar opportunity
(07:43):
for all of us here toessentially bring down this
corrupt organization that we'veall been affected by.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
Would you like to?
Speaker 1 (07:51):
take a seat.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
He goes, okay, around the room, he points and he goes
the orc here.
This is Dulik.
He is our commander of we don'treally have an armed forces,
but any time that shit hits thefan, he seems to be the one that
gets us out of it.
And then he looks at both ofyou and he just grunts and nods.
And then, of course, we haveDaith, and I'll go ahead and let
(08:16):
you introduce yourself to theparty.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
Hey, I scout the area between places, not like
alleyways, but like worlds.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
Oh, that's very descriptive.
Thank you for keeping thatpretty clear.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Yeah, and then he goes and of course you've met
Galora and he points to thehalf-elf and I am Karim.
I am the wizard who has beenresearching here with Daith, the
place between places, as hekind of described it other
planes I noticed and Silvafilled us in on exactly what
(08:55):
your abilities are after dealingwith Alyssum, and we believe we
have found a way to attack herwhere she lives and we were
hoping that you gentlemen wouldbe right there going through the
portal with us.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
Yeah, that's going to help our buddy right, Get the
necklace off.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Ah, yes, the necklace .
We don't have any furtherinformation about that, so
unfortunately I cannot help youwith that.
Speaker 4 (09:22):
What do you mean?
You can't help me?
Speaker 1 (09:25):
I mean, I don't know why I would have to explain any.
Are you asking me to like provea negative?
Speaker 4 (09:30):
No, I mean like you don't have, there's no
information, nothing you couldtell me.
I mean, we came all this way.
I got this shit stuck on me.
They told me you was going tobe able to help me out.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
I don't think they told you that I could help you.
I think they told you that bycoming here and dealing with
Alyssum that would help.
I mean, their best scientiststried to get that thing off of
you and couldn't help.
I don't know any more than him.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
He was a bit of a crackpot.
Speaker 4 (09:52):
Yeah, man he just wanted to pour stuff on me and
giggle.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
I mean, it's pretty, we don't have iPhones yet, you
sure I can't't wait just gettingsomething poured on you and
giggling.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
That doesn't sound, that doesn't sound terrible but
he goes.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Unfortunately I cannot.
However, before we head in, wewould like to offer you as much
help as we can in prepping forthis venture, because it does
seem to be quite perilous.
And he leads you over and sendsyou over with duluk, and in
this room is essentially anypiece of armor, any like spell
(10:33):
scrolls that are, I would say,probably second, third level or
lower.
Uh, and you guys will have toroll to see what you're able to
find in here, but any gearing upthat you want to do or training
before entering this realmneeds to be done now.
This is when the video gamebasically tells you hey, make
sure you've got your affairs inorder before you go in here.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
Yeah, if you look over there, we've got a giant
barrel filled with healingpotions.
Over there is a save spot andin the back corner we've got a
bunch of food that gives buffs.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
And nine millimeter ammo.
Just a broom clasp with atypewriter.
Yeah right, and there's a pizzaon the floor too.
Speaker 4 (11:08):
A whole rotisserie chicken, I'm just going to eat a
bunch of these leeks, Okay.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
And then Dullek looks at you and he goes you got that
piece of paper.
Maybe, why are you like this?
Speaker 4 (11:27):
You told me to play my character.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
I like how every NPC is already based off the
previous NPC's interaction.
No, no, no, they called ahead,they warned us.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
These people have been nothing but nice.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
NPCs here.
They run on a hive mind.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
He goes.
I'm trying to help you.
Speaker 4 (11:49):
I'm trying to help you.
Let's help each other out.
You want this piece of paper,what you got for me.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
I'm trying to.
Not everything is a deal.
Speaker 4 (12:01):
Sometimes people are just trying to help as he says
that I just slide him the pieceof paper.
But also I want a sleight ofhand, not let him take it.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
Son of a bitch.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
All right, roll your sleight of hand Ooh 18.
Oh he got 16 on the dice but heis not uh dex based so you got
lucky on that one.
So he's like okay, come on,it's like the little ice cream
cone finally, I'll let him haveit okay, I would it.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
I would hate that so much you know what he looks at.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
Both of you, we'll handle this alright.
Dave, you're now the maincharacter.
I wish it was nice working withthe other two.
But he takes the piece of paperand he holds three books and he
goes this piece of paper and heholds three books and he goes
this piece of paper is attunedto these three tomes and
(13:03):
whichever one that you attune to, it will essentially let you
change the element of yourspells into the book that you
attune to so it'll allow you todiversify your fire magic,
because I know that fire doesn'tseem to be as effective to
illusions as most creatures.
So he hands you these threetomes and essentially, whichever
(13:24):
one you attune to for the day,it will allow you to transmute
your fire spells into eitherradiant, necrotic or water.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
Nice wet fire.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
Yeah, wet fire.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
Yeah, oh, that's my stage name from now on.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
But they are limited.
Each book can only be used fivetimes because as you use the
slip of paper in each book, itburns away the pages.
It looks like you have alreadygotten your mace.
Speaker 4 (13:56):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
Is there any other equipment that the two of you
would like?
Speaker 2 (14:01):
Yeah, I'd like to try to find something to help my
dex, because my dex is let mecheck here bad, it's very bad.
Some would say it's negative.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Oh, okay.
Well, everybody has to be badat some things.
Speaker 4 (14:13):
But you don't have to be abysmal, I'm going to look
around for some healing items orpotions, because I'm wearing
this necklace and I got to keepsurviving the damn necklace.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
Also real quick.
Who made your?
Speaker 2 (14:27):
character Me, so it's your fault.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
Yeah, okay, you're like I want to fix this thing
that I made a problem.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Yeah, you go.
Hey, do you want to have anyarmor to help improve your
character?
Like yes, I'd like to improvemy character's weakest point.
Like how dare you?
Speaker 1 (14:42):
no, I just thought it was funny that you're like, oh,
I'm bad at this thing.
It's like, yeah, but uh.
So when you look around you dofind a pair of boots, okay, that
will give you uh plus one toyour decks, and then he does
give you uh each two, uh healthpotions.
After that, I think, if youguys are good, we will go ahead
and get started with the ritual.
Speaker 4 (15:03):
A ritual.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
Mm-hmm, we can get the portal open.
Speaker 4 (15:06):
Oh, all right.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
Okay.
So he sits, everybody down andhe goes.
Okay, essentially, what isgoing to happen is we have
located the exact coordinates ofthe plane that Elissum is using
to hide all of her companionsand all of her illusions, and
blinking them in and out of ourrealm, which makes it incredibly
(15:31):
difficult to combat her,considering she creates them
what seems to be as fast as weare destroying them, considering
she creates them what seems tobe as fast as we are destroying
them.
So when this opens, we willhave very little time and I
cannot promise what's going tobe on the other side.
I do know that we will bewithin Arrow's distance of their
(15:52):
base Because it seems, like onthe other plane, she has decided
to use this city as her home.
Like on the other plane, she hasdecided to use this city as as
her home.
So please be very careful andbe very cautious, because you
will not see what is there untilwe cross that threshold.
And then kiram looks up andgoes dave, are you ready?
Yeah, I suppose so.
(16:12):
So at this time he holds up hisstaff and he is making a symbol
on the wall and at about thattime you touch it to bring
through the plane.
And the moment that you see thetear beginning to come down,
you feel a sharp pain in yourarm.
Give me a wisdom saving throw.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
Heart attack.
Son of a bitch yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
You smell burnt toast .
This is how my dad went yeahyeah, and thank you for joining
us today.
Speaker 3 (16:44):
I'm sorry it didn't work out Dead before the first
commercial break.
Yeah, we're really just herefor your name.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
Six.
Speaker 3 (16:54):
Six.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
Okay, wow, that's with being a ranger as well, I
rolled a four, oh no.
So at about that time you feelthat sharp pain shoot up your
arm as you take literallyminimum damage to necrotic
damage and it begins to just youfeel a burning, necrotic surge
go through your body.
(17:18):
But the riff opens up.
And the moment that the riffgets all the way to all the
sigils that were just drawn,tentacle and ethereal arms,
blast out of it and grab thethree of you and pull you in.
Speaker 3 (17:35):
Oh, hey, I think there's a problem.
Speaker 4 (17:37):
Don't put your phone.
And the moment the three of youcross oh hey, I think there's a
bra.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
Don't put your phone and the moment the three of you
cross that threshold, the dooris sealed behind you and the
look Karen and Galora did notmake it through in time.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
What about Av?
Speaker 1 (17:54):
Av, she's with the cart.
That's what that's her job.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
All right, okay, that's her job.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
Okay, we'll come back when something that we forgot
about that needs to be wrappedup, needs wrapped up Av will do
it.
Speaker 4 (18:04):
She better be watching that cart.
I got those crates.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
I ain't forgot, I ain't even opened them to see
what's in there.
Yet that's true, I got the keysto my man, grotto.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
Yep, my cart Yep.
And as you cross this threshold, your eyes almost need to
adjust.
Actually, all of your eyes doneed to adjust.
Give me wisdom saving throwsfrom everybody except Dath,
because you failed the first one.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
Good, because I also would have failed the second one
, oh, okay, 21.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
Okay 22.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
Okay, cool, so both of you.
It's almost like when you stepout into the sun or I guess I'm
an idiot you literally steppedinto the ether.
Your eyes are adjusting to thedarkness.
Speaker 2 (18:46):
It's like the sun.
But if it was out.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
Yeah right, Literally the opposite in every way.
I just tried to say.
Speaker 4 (18:52):
Yeah, but we're dark vision.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
Right, but this is magical darkness Okay.
Yes, which is different thanhow dms get past dark vision
that's fair um.
So as your eyes adjust, youcan't see very far in front of
you, but often the distance yousee glimmering lights of what
looks like an absolutely massivemansion I bet they got some
(19:17):
good stuff to steal in thereDolo.
Speaker 4 (19:19):
They probably do.
I don't like the shape of thathouse, though that's very
plantation-like.
Where the fuck are we?
Speaker 3 (19:27):
I guess, oh God, I've been stricken blind.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
It looks like Alabama .
Oh God, ding-a-ling,ding-a-ling.
Oh God, I recognize that music.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
Run, run.
I don't know, it's a bit of ajaunty tune.
I might check it out.
I have made a terrible mistake.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
And the tentacles that pulled you in are now
retracting back into the mansionand you see them going in
through the windows at the top.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
Well, I think they know we're here.
Speaker 4 (19:59):
Yeah, I think they also made off with your manhood.
It looks like Where'd that comefrom.
What I don't know, it wastentacles.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
I just assumed where they Did you just ad-lib him
getting neutered?
Yeah, I pat myself down.
I'm like no, no, no.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
I'm circumcised now.
That's me.
Speaker 4 (20:19):
What a strange turn of events.
Speaker 3 (20:22):
Didn't fill a thing.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
That's crazy.
Very efficient.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
Here, here, and I grab Dath by the arm.
I'm like I got you, buddy, youall right, you good, it's me,
it's your new friend, vince withan A.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
He's got it.
Speaker 3 (20:35):
It's me Vance, your friend, but wait no, there's
supposed to be six of us to dothis.
There's only three of us now.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
You can't know that You're blind.
Speaker 3 (20:41):
He counts as two people.
I only hear the two of you andI smell my friends.
Speaker 4 (20:45):
I know they smell.
You guys' smells are unfamiliarto me.
Yeah, that orc did have a smell.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
Yeah, this is very got left behind.
Two random strangers, temporaryblindness.
It's one hell of a trip for youTalking about magical
circumcision and plantationowners?
Speaker 3 (21:03):
I'm afraid yeah, well , come on it's just a Tuesday.
It's not.
What are you talking about?
It's Thursday Exactly.
Let's go.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
Standing around being worried ain't going to change
nothing.
That door is shut.
Speaker 3 (21:15):
Aiming my bow at nothing, literally everything.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
At this moment you can see, your eyes have adjusted
better and there are manyillusions, but not the type of
illusions that you are used toin the normal plane, where they
were taking the form of likehumans.
These, almost these literallylook like specters, like flying
cloaks, hollow faces withshadowy fingers peering from
them, and it almost looks likethey are not on their own free
(21:46):
will.
Right now they are literallyjust traveling paths and I need
all three of you to roll meinsight or perception.
Speaker 2 (21:54):
Daith, don't worry, I'll describe what's happening.
Thank you, we are in aDisneyland-esque small world
situation, but it's hell.
Speaker 4 (22:01):
You can see now that was very temporary Bam 22.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
Okay, just like a seven, like a seven.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
Just like a seven dude 25.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
Okay, yeah, so the two of you they got over 20s you
very quickly notice that theseexterior like spirits are very
clockwork.
You can easily maneuver throughthem without being spotted, um,
and you are able to track theirpaths pretty quickly as you
make it through, uh, this opencourtyard, um, one thing that
(22:31):
you are noticing is that when,when they reach the end of their
path, instead, instead of themturning around and looping,
they're literally floating upand disappearing and a new one
is spawning.
So it's just a constant cycleof creation and stuff like that.
Once you make it into thecourtyard, the specters seem to
(22:52):
be getting more.
What's a good way.
They're forming to be likestronger entities like they.
These are now more along thelines of what you've seen out
and about, uh, so you can kindof, with your perception checks
put together, that the closeryou get, the the more, uh,
diligent you need to be.
(23:13):
Um, and in this courtyard itseems to be almost opposite of
the rest of this drearylandscape, where there's like a
full garden, there's a fountain.
It's almost like they aretrying to recreate what they
have seen on the other side, andthe illusions here are so
(23:34):
strong that you can actuallysmell the flowers and you are
actually getting a sense.
And for a moment, I need youguys to make me intelligence
saving throws so strong that youcan actually smell the flowers
and you are actually getting asense.
And for a moment, I need youguys to make me intelligence
saving throws 17.
Speaker 4 (23:45):
Okay, intelligence 10 .
Okay, 10.
18.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
Luckily the DC's nine , so Okay, perfect.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
Yeah right.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
Yes, and Tyler yes, and we get too close.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
DC's nine, so nothing bad happens from a fail.
No, I'm just kidding, the DCsave was 12.
So if you guys were justdropped here and you didn't see
the previous events in thisgarden, you would think you're
still in the real world.
But for you, for a moment, youalmost question whether you're
here or not.
In this courtyard you see thefront door, which has four of
(24:21):
these specters in front of it,the more formed ones, but you
also see a a side entrance.
Well, you know in, like the oldmansions and stuff like that,
there's always a big yard aroundthe whole thing with like gates
and stuff like that, so youalso see side gates to lead to
the back courtyard of themansion.
How would you guys like toproceed?
Speaker 2 (24:41):
Well, what do you think, Ranger?
Speaker 3 (24:43):
Yeah, I mean, if we want to go around the back,
obviously there's going to,obviously, obviously I'm going
to keep saying it because I hopeit's true Be a little less
threats, but inside, in thefront door, we're in it.
So how do you work as a team?
Speaker 1 (25:03):
Are you like a head-on confrontation kind of
group or you sneak around.
Speaker 4 (25:09):
As they're discussing this, I'm looking for a window.
Speaker 1 (25:13):
Okay, yeah, I mean, it's a huge mansion.
There are many windows, all theway around.
Speaker 4 (25:16):
Yeah, I'm looking for a window and I'm going to find
a window along.
You said there's like awraparound porch.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
Yeah, I'm going to find one of those windows and
start trying to jimmy my wayinto that window when you
approach the window and you getout your lockpick set, the
windows aren't real, so when yougo to put your lockpick in it
it's not moving the pins.
You can't.
Speaker 4 (25:39):
You can't physically manipulate it what happens if I
go to try to open the windowwhen you go to try to open the
window.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
Uh, you can, you can put your hands on it, but uh, I
guess, roll me a strength checkanyways, we, uh, we kind of go
through all right, just kind ofwhatever happens to us.
I see, yeah, they're morereactionary, okay, in their
nature.
Speaker 4 (26:02):
I get mad at it like I stubbed my toe.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah you gota nat 20.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
And I hate to be that DM, but the physical pressure
that you apply to this windowdoes not budge it.
However, with your nat 20, Iwill give you advantage on your
wisdom to try and, like willyourself, to open this door
(26:29):
that's what I was trying to getyou to realize.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
I thought you were gonna give him a hernia.
Speaker 4 (26:34):
I was gonna say, I'll take that too.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
Yeah, maybe the first ever nat 20.
That hurts the player oh youknow what?
Speaker 4 (26:41):
uh, in that case, you know what?
Y'all have an idea, because Ithink I've just figured
something out.
I just tried like hell to openthis window, damn near, threw my
neck out.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
But I think I have an idea.
Are you lifting?
Speaker 3 (26:53):
with your neck.
Yeah, that's real bad for you.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
Yeah, you just grab it and you go Just strain it.
Yeah, I'm not lifting with mylegs.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
It's very dangerous.
No, it's twisting in your back.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
I got a plan and I just I'm like this, I got this,
and I just turn around and Iwalk backwards into that, just
like, all right, that didn'twork.
What were you doing into thewindow?
Yeah, so here's the thing makeme a wisdom check.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
Oh son of a bitch I'm good at that too, so uh,
fucking 19 okay, did you believethat you were actually going to
do something?
Speaker 1 (27:23):
yeah you did, yeah, youased through and break the
window.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
Yeah, break the window.
Speaker 1 (27:29):
Break the window Because you can consciously
comprehend the situation.
So you, that's what you saidyou did.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
I was hoping I was going to Kitty Pryde through it
at best.
But yeah, here we are.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
You believed that you were going to affect the window
, so you just full-on walkedinto it and then broke and fell
through the window.
I just thumbs up.
Speaker 2 (27:48):
I got it, guys.
I didn't know that.
All right, sorry about thatyeah.
Speaker 4 (27:53):
You know he surprises me some days.
Was that your plan?
Yeah, it was actually.
I'm not exactly sure how heknew, but you'd be surprised.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
Hey, at least you guys are on the same page, you
asked how we work as a team.
Speaker 4 (28:03):
We don't, and it works.
Speaker 3 (28:06):
All right, I'm going to climb in the window.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
Okay, as you climb through this now spectral broken
window, you see the elegance ofthis mansion.
It looks like every bit ofpride and greed and just the
vein of wanting the materialworld all for yourself is
embodied in this mansion.
Speaker 2 (28:29):
Ah, we're in a Kardashian.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
I mean a lot of people have been in a Kardashian
hey.
Speaker 4 (28:37):
All right, thanks everybody, we'll see you next
week.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
Monster, monster, monster.
We'll see you next week Roll me.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
I hate to keep having you do perception checks.
So either perception or arcana27.
Speaker 4 (28:50):
Okay, I'm going to go perception and give myself a 17
.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
11 perception.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
Okay, 11,.
So everybody did perception.
So where the garden seemed real, with the smells and stuff like
this, the moment you brokethrough that seal of the
exterior, unless you areactively thinking about it, you
will lose track of what realmyou are in.
So, uh, essentially, be carefulwith letting your mind wander
(29:19):
here.
Speaker 2 (29:19):
Yeah yeah, as we're walking, I'm like hey I didn't
know that was your plan.
I'm sorry, I was doing a goofand it worked.
Speaker 4 (29:27):
Yeah, just remember, all your goofs actually work in
this world.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
Thank God.
I might never leave a realmwhere all my bits land.
Let's not get carried away.
I'll let you fall through awindow.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
As you make it through and you realize this,
you also notice the 20s that thewindow did cause quite a bit of
commotion and you hear manyfootsteps heading your way.
You need to very quickly make adecision on whether you're
going back out the window ordeeper into the house or up a
staircase that you see, but youcan't see what's at the top of
(30:10):
the staircase All you hear, arefootsteps.
Staircase.
Speaker 4 (30:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
Okay, you head up the staircase, yep.
Speaker 4 (30:17):
We don't even discuss it, we just kind of take off
running like in a horror movie.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
Okay, I need everybody, since you all went up
the stairs, to roll medexterity saving throws.
Speaker 2 (30:30):
Guys, I'm slightly better than I used to be.
Those boots are sharp 15 on thedie, so 15, baby, You're
welcome.
Speaker 1 (30:38):
It could have been a 14.
It could have been a 14.
Just be thankful for what youget you know 16.
Speaker 3 (30:42):
Okay, I'm really going to run the gamut here.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
Natural one oh, no, yes, so luckily the two of you
take no damage, because Daithtook all of it, oh shit.
Speaker 2 (30:56):
He's the first one up , just yeah right.
Speaker 3 (30:58):
I get halfway up the stairs, it turns into a slide.
Speaker 1 (31:02):
Oh shit.
Makes that little clown whistlenoise as you head up the stairs
since you were first you do notnotice a trip wire on the third
from the top staircase and asyou hit that trip wire, the step
falls from beneath you and youslide away.
Speaker 4 (31:23):
Fuck guys.
Speaker 3 (31:24):
I got him.
Yeah, oh shit, you'reseparating from the group.
Fuck guys I got him yeah, ohshit.
Speaker 1 (31:26):
Separating from the group.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
He gets yoinked a lot .
Speaker 1 (31:30):
Upon hitting the ground, you take five falling
damage.
Now, vance and Dolo, you have adecision to make.
Do you follow or do youcontinue up the stairs, because
I'll let you guys take.
You know it exists, so if youstep you can follow him, or you
guys continue up the staircase.
Speaker 2 (31:49):
I like that.
We're just leaning over like aTarantino trunk scene.
Speaker 4 (31:52):
How far down is he.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
You cannot see the bottom because it turns.
Speaker 2 (31:58):
I don't want to leave him separated.
Speaker 3 (32:00):
My legs are very badly broken, shut up.
Speaker 4 (32:06):
We're trying to think .
Speaker 1 (32:08):
The tentacles are here.
Suck on where they live.
Speaker 3 (32:11):
They're very intrusive.
Speaker 4 (32:13):
Is my foreskin down there.
I don't even say anything.
I just look at Vance and I justpush him down the hole.
I go whee, Whee, Okay.
Speaker 1 (32:28):
All right, brian, making all the executive
decisions today.
So, now final question Do yougo down the?
Speaker 4 (32:35):
hole.
Speaker 1 (32:35):
Yeah, I jump down behind him Because if you pushed
him down and then went up thestairs?
Speaker 3 (32:42):
I'm not going to do a repeat of that.
This is Dolo's episode now.
All right, so you do a repeatof that.
All right, so you do jump down,yeah, okay.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
As you get to the bottom of this slide, you go
into a room that has completelychanged the atmosphere and is
very one might say dungeon-esque.
So in this room you are not ina cell in particular, you are in
a big open, what almost seemslike a cathedral-esque room, and
(33:13):
you got dumped right in frontof an altar.
Make me, I guess, since the twoof you went down willingly roll
me insight checks 15.
Speaker 4 (33:23):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (33:25):
Well, that's a six Vance vance with your 15.
As you were sliding down, younoticed that a ton of like a
bunch.
As you were going down thisslide, there were other slides
that were connecting, so there'swhat you're putting together.
Is there's a bunch of thesetraps throughout this mansion
that all lead here.
We we're playing Dungeons andDragons and shoots and ladders
(33:46):
Mostly just shoots and stairs.
There haven't been any laddersactually.
So you make it to the bottomand the three of you get dumped
out to what is essentially analtar in front of a large
cathedral-looking area.
Speaker 2 (34:01):
Can I roll a religion check?
Speaker 3 (34:06):
Yeah, that's perfect too, because you see your
foreskin on the altar.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
I get distracted by that.
I got a 10 total.
Speaker 4 (34:13):
It's slowly growing into a new him, a better him.
Speaker 2 (34:18):
I've always wanted to have a brother.
Speaker 3 (34:23):
He's wearing a turtleneck.
Speaker 4 (34:26):
Looks like Steve Jobs .
Speaker 1 (34:27):
No.
No he's not, but you could havethe iPhone now.
That's neat.
So you said you got a 10?
.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
So you see the symbols, you've seen them before
, but unfortunately you justcan't recall what god or what
entity that these follow.
Speaker 4 (34:55):
Actually, that's a good point.
Can I roll a history and see ifI recognize any of them from
any of the stuff I'm carrying orthe necklace I'm?
Speaker 1 (35:02):
wearing?
Yes, but you'll get differentinformation than if you were a
religion, so I don't know whatyou want to find out.
Speaker 4 (35:09):
I just want to see, because the reason I asked
history is because I've beenseeing different symbols and
I've been trying to connect itto what we originally found in
that cave.
For sure, still don't know I'musing the thing.
Speaker 1 (35:21):
Honestly, if you're just trying to remember, if
these were the symbols that yousaw in the cave, then yes, oh,
okay, so they are.
Not all of them, but some ofthem.
Okay, the main symbol on thealtar is not, but the
surrounding symbols are.
Speaker 4 (35:35):
There's some infernal magic happening around here,
baby All right, some deep shitgoing on.
Is the altar lit?
Is there any lighting?
Speaker 1 (35:48):
Yes, there are candles all around you and on
the altar it is drenched inblood.
Speaker 2 (35:53):
Oh, I go in, hang on, I can check on Daith.
Speaker 1 (35:55):
Oh hey.
Speaker 3 (35:56):
Are you?
Speaker 4 (35:56):
alright dude, please get off me.
No wonder that fall didn't hurt, dude.
Why'd you just stay laying inthe same spot?
Speaker 3 (36:04):
Because I impacted and then I heard sounds and then
this guy was on my face.
I just thought you gave up.
Speaker 1 (36:12):
You're like this is me now.
This is me.
I live here now.
Speaker 3 (36:15):
Two things I'm good at finding traps and pathways.
Speaker 2 (36:20):
Not doing well on either of them.
Speaker 3 (36:22):
No, you found both, that's true, just need to do it
a couple seconds earlier.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
Would you like to make any checks for this room?
Speaker 2 (36:32):
Now that the dwarf is off your face, yeah.
Speaker 4 (36:35):
That's a sentence I've wanted to say for a while.
Speaker 3 (36:37):
No, I don't think I have anything that would be
beneficial here.
Speaker 1 (36:50):
Okay, if you do want to make a religion or history
check, I will give you advantage, since your organization was
researching this.
Speaker 3 (36:56):
Oh fair, I was paying attention during those meetings
.
Speaker 1 (37:00):
I mean, that's up to you.
That's what I say.
Speaker 2 (37:02):
I was paying attention.
Speaker 1 (37:03):
Yeah, 12.
With a 12, you recognize thesymbol in the middle of the
altar.
You can't quite remembereverything that Karim was saying
it does, but you do recognizeit as the symbol and you know
that it summons a creature.
Speaker 3 (37:19):
Okay, that symbol.
They talked about this in thebriefing.
It does a thing, I don'tremember exactly what.
No, that's not true.
It summons something.
What it summons, I don'tremember.
Speaker 2 (37:36):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (37:37):
Yeah, the wizard was supposed to be here for this
part.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (37:39):
That would have been incredibly helpful if your
buddies came along, but you dowhat you can with what you got.
Speaker 1 (37:46):
That's the nicest way to be like.
You didn't help us.
That was very polite.
Speaker 2 (37:51):
I'm being sincere.
It would be nice, but it's like.
You do what you can, can'tchange it now.
No use crying over spilt milk.
Do our best here.
Speaker 3 (37:57):
Should we scrape all the blood off the altar that way
, it's not the hour.
Speaker 4 (38:01):
Before we do that, with all the candles in the room
using control flame, can Ibrighten the room?
Speaker 1 (38:07):
Yes, you can.
Speaker 4 (38:10):
Ooh Once.
Speaker 1 (38:15):
I brighten the room, I want to look around and see if
there's any doors or pathwaysor anything else in this.
When you brighten the room andyou start to see what is in the
rest of this very dark cathedral, you see, I'll just say a lot
because it's pews.
It's a big cathedral with thisaltar in front of it.
Essentially every pew is filledwith these warrior-looking
(38:35):
spirits and they all have theirhead bowed and they're not
moving.
Speaker 3 (38:40):
Turn off light.
Speaker 4 (38:41):
Well good thing we came down here, right, this was
a good idea, right.
Speaker 1 (38:55):
It was your idea.
Speaker 4 (38:56):
Yeah, I know Not exactly.
It was his idea to begin with.
Speaker 1 (39:01):
It wasn't his idea.
Speaker 3 (39:02):
Now you told me that the way this team works is you
just let stuff happen to you.
That is true.
That's what I with.
It wasn't his idea.
Speaker 4 (39:05):
It had to do with him .
Now you told me that the waythis team works is you just let
stuff happen to you.
That is true.
That's what I did.
It's a terrible philosophy,it's a terrible philosophy.
How many would you say thereare?
Speaker 1 (39:12):
What you can see right now is about 10 within the
first two rows, but you can'tsee further back.
You cannot even see the back ofthe room of the room.
Speaker 4 (39:21):
Hmm, hmm, hmm.
Speaker 1 (39:23):
But they have not reacted to you.
Speaker 4 (39:25):
yet what about on the ?
Is there anything behind thealtar on the other side, or is
it just a wall?
Speaker 1 (39:29):
Where you fell in is just the back wall with
basically a cloak that you guyskind of fell through that has
one of the symbols on it drapedalong that back wall Candles
around you, altar, with the mainsymbol on it covered in blood.
Speaker 4 (39:42):
Huh, you know any cool spells here, ranger.
Speaker 3 (39:46):
Uh, like delete ghost no.
Oh, you have that, that'd begreat, that'd be dope.
What is this?
Control alt, delete ghost.
Speaker 4 (39:57):
Uh, no, let's, uh, can you cloak us?
Speaker 3 (40:00):
Oh, I mean I can move us where you want to go Down
that aisle.
Speaker 4 (40:05):
Okay, I mean, we don't really have another option
.
It's either this or go layVance on the altar.
Speaker 1 (40:13):
That's it.
That's all we do.
Speaker 2 (40:15):
I guess, if that's our only option no questions.
I'll probably be heading downthis hallway.
Speaker 3 (40:23):
So I'm going to cast on us protection from good and
evil.
Okay, I don't know, I can'ttell.
Speaker 1 (40:32):
Now I know, obviously protection from good and evil
protects you from good and evilbut what exactly are the?
I'm not familiar with what itexactly does.
Does it give you a boost tosaving throws?
Speaker 4 (40:47):
I also do have a question.
Speaker 2 (40:49):
Is his shoulder sigil going off or my eyes going off
at all?
No, no.
Speaker 4 (40:54):
That's what I was trying to lean into too.
Walk into it, baby, let's seewhat happens.
Yeah, because I thought justgetting close to the altar
things would go off.
Yeah, no, no.
Speaker 3 (41:04):
Yeah, I thought just getting close to the altar
things would go off.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So it gives disadvantage to anycreature of those alignments
attacking us.
Okay, and then it also makes itso that we cannot be charmed or
frightened by creatures of goodor evil.
Speaker 1 (41:17):
Awesome, okay, good to know, good to know,
especially the charm one.
What yeah, wink, wink, so youstep down to head basically out
of this room.
Right as you take your firststep off that staircase, another
row of candles lights up on theoutside of the pews, revealing
(41:37):
another row of illusions.
Your next step reveals anothercandle with even more illusions,
and every step you take seemsto be lined with another row of
pews and more illusions.
Speaker 3 (41:53):
These guys all have their heads down as we're
starting to kind of walk pastthem, I want to look over my
shoulder.
What is there?
Is it solemn?
Yeah behind you.
Speaker 1 (42:03):
Essentially they are in a very stereotypical hands-in
and just head down brain as ifthey were praying.
Yes, and these ones are verythey look human-esque, so these
are not shadowy figures.
These look more like peoplewith more of a spectral aura to
them, and they all have theirheads down and their eyes are
(42:23):
closed.
Let's see and after you make itabout halfway down the aisle,
you hear from everywhere all atonce just the beginning of a
maniacal laughter.
Oh, oh, is it for a second?
I thought you were gonna saysomething and I was gonna let
you finish nope, I just that'snot good.
Yeah, and all you ears.
(42:44):
Oh, gentlemen, it's so nice tohave you here For a minute.
Speaker 2 (42:49):
I thought it was going to be that Gorillaz song.
The Gorillaz song oh.
Speaker 1 (42:56):
Feel good.
She goes.
Gentlemen, it is so nice tohave you here.
Unfortunately, I couldn't getthe entire group of you
insignificant flies referring toyour friends to bring you all
to the slaughter at once, but atleast I got the three that were
going to be the biggest thornin my side.
Speaker 2 (43:18):
You hear that that's some respect on it.
Speaker 3 (43:21):
That's kind of nice.
Speaker 1 (43:23):
The last thing you hear is the room explodes.
No, this is pretty good.
And she goes.
And it seems like after youmade it into my house, you fell
into one of my mini traps andhere's how this is going to go
down.
The two of you, and at thismoment she appears from the
altar that you guys were walkingfrom.
(43:44):
So she appears behind you, shegoes.
The two of you you with themessed up eyes that you somehow
got, and you with the strangetattoo, it seems, when you left
my realm the last time, you tooka percentage of my power with
you.
So you are going to simply givethat back.
Or, as heroes like to say, dietrying.
(44:05):
And you, as heroes like to say,die trying.
And you, you're going to bevery helpful, you, I'm going to
drain every bit of magic out youand open up these little
schisms throughout the entireland with just every bit of
magic that's in your body.
Speaker 3 (44:23):
I shoot her Just immediately just whack an arrow
and go okay, give me a two hitI'm gonna use my um bonus action
to turn it into force damageokay, I don't know if that'll
make a difference, but they'reall ghostly and 20 a 20 to hit,
not natural 20.
Speaker 1 (44:42):
Correct, okay, cool.
So you take your shot and shewas expecting it to just be a
normal arrow, so she doesn'teven react.
She just stands there expectingit to go straight through her.
But it hits her right square inthe shoulder and it blasts her
shoulder back and she looks andshe goes oh I see, you're not a
(45:03):
fan of monologues and she snapsand at that time every head in
all the pews looks up, theireyes open in blazing fire.
And that is where we are endingtoday's session.
Speaker 2 (45:19):
That's fun, all right .
Speaker 3 (45:23):
You guys didn't want to talk to her more did you Not
really?
Speaker 1 (45:25):
Okay, All right, so that is the end of this first
session in this ethereal realm.
Thank you, everybody forjoining us.
My name is Tyler Waltz and I'vebeen your DM.
Speaker 2 (45:34):
Hi everybody, I'm Tyson Cox.
You can find me atTysonCoxComedy.
I do stand-up and we're goingto be at Gen Con, so make sure
to check us out.
We're going to have two MonsterMonsters, some stand-up shows.
It's going to be a really fun,nerdy time, so check us out,
Look for the new stuff under GenCon, and that'll be all our
events.
Speaker 4 (45:50):
I've been Brian Petrie.
You can find me at everythingBrian Petrie Comedy.
We run around traveling withthese dudes doing live shows, so
keep track, follow us online.
Yeah, I've been.
Speaker 3 (46:01):
Dolo and I'm Rev.
I have been Ranger DaithGarmajan.
You can find everything aboutme at thecritshowpodcastcom,
where we do a ton of actual playcontent.
Speaker 1 (46:12):
We will also be at Gen Con Hell yeah, hell, yeah,
nice, all right, and we'll catchyou guys in the next episode of
Monster Monster.
Thank you all so much.
Bye.
Previously on Monster Monster.
Our heroes, along with theirnew friend, made it into the
port of Soldeus' largest city,the city of Silverkeep.
But an ambush hasn't made iteasy.
After an explosive struggle,they were able to break through
the enemy lines, butunfortunately the cost of this
was losing their friend DudleyWayne Budley.
Welcome to Monster Monstereverybody.
(00:21):
My name is Tyler Waltz and I amyour Dungeon Master, to my left
, as usual.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Hello everybody.
I'm Tyson Cox.
I'm playing Vance.
He's a cleric who just is maybenot the brightest candle, but
he's trying to light up the darkI like the only thing that you
did for your character was hisname.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
Vance.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Back to Tyson, to my right.
Well, vance isn't going todescribe himself like that.
Back to Tyson, tumat, right.
Speaker 4 (00:44):
Well, vance isn't going to describe himself like
that.
I'm Brian Petrie.
I'm playing Dolanmere Sedrin,aka Dolo, you know, just out
here trying to figure out how toget some necropathy out of my
neck.
We're going to see what happens.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
What an interesting phrase.
Speaker 4 (01:01):
Yeah, get it up out of your neck.
All right, and our specialguest today is.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
What an interesting phrase.
Yeah, get it up out of yourneck, all right.
And our special guest today isHi, I'm Rev.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
I'm the host and GM of the Crit Show, which is an
actual play podcast where weplay Monster of the Week and
other Powered by the Apocalypsegames, all within the same
dimension, hopping narrativeAlso.
This is this is.
I've been sitting in the otherroom while they've been
recording.
Yeah, this is the new placethey've been recording.
He likes to watch.
Speaker 4 (01:26):
It's his thing.
I've even got blinds that I canuse.
I saw.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
All right.
And you're playing.
Speaker 3 (01:33):
Yeah, I am playing Ranger Daith Garmajan, that's a
hell of a last name I was stuckon the first name.
Speaker 4 (01:40):
Daith, daith Is that with an E or no E name daith.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
Daith, is that with an e or no e?
Uh, no, e.
Okay.
Yeah, d-a-i-t-h.
Okay.
So, vance and dolo, you justbroke through a fiery wall of
illusions.
You just lost your frienddudley in the blaze and you are
on your car heading into thecity where we ended.
Was you breaking through?
How do you feel abouteverything that just happened?
Speaker 4 (02:07):
Oh shit.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
I'm sweaty.
Speaker 4 (02:13):
I'm sweaty and clammy .
Are you all right?
Yeah, I'm.
You ever breathe in fake fire.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
Fire was real.
The people were the illusions.
Speaker 4 (02:23):
Something happened.
Speaker 1 (02:24):
I got a cough av is there as well, in case you
forgot that she oh, son of abitch, yeah she didn't do
anything to help either she gotthe cart
Speaker 2 (02:32):
off the boat she did, she did do that I learned
you're very good in non-combatsituations.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
Yes, it's almost like I'm here to just fill in the
little gaps of the story, toprogress us Great.
As you head in, you notice thatno illusions are really
pursuing you at the moment, andthis is the first time that
you've actually been able totake a look at the city.
And you look up and you areeven for this alleyway.
It's huge, and both of you rollme.
(03:00):
History checks really quick.
Speaker 4 (03:02):
Mm 15.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
Okay, seven, seven, okay, seven, seven.
Okay, so you don't know toomuch.
You haven't been to Sol Deusvery much.
Dolo, you know that this isSilverkeep.
This is basically the New YorkCity of Sol Deus.
It's not their capital, but itis by far their biggest city in
the entire country.
And even just this alleywaythat you're in is completely,
(03:24):
just elegant, like they'resilver and with your history
check.
The reason that it's calledsilver keep is because it is on
one of the only natural depositsof silver in soldeus, so it is
by far the richest and everyevery mover and shaker tries to
come here in order to make aquick buck.
But even like the alleyways andstuff are very elegant.
(03:46):
And as you guys are headingdown this alleyway, you spot in
the middle of the road wavingvery frantically a halfling
trying to wave you down.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
Oh, I walk up to the halfling.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
You walk up.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
You're like speeding on a cart right now.
Speaker 2 (04:02):
Oh, this is like a hey, yeah, I step off.
Yeah, right, no, I guess I justwill drive the cart towards
them and try to slow it down.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
Okay, she is actively out of breath and she goes.
What happened back there?
Speaker 2 (04:21):
It's a Tuesday, it is .
That's a terrible explanation.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
It's a Tuesday, it is .
That's a terrible explanation.
It's Thursday.
Speaker 4 (04:29):
It's Tuesday for us.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
This doesn't make any sense to me at all.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
She doesn't know the password.
I don't think they're the onewe're looking for.
Speaker 4 (04:37):
I don't think so either.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
It was nice meeting you little ma'am.
So I guess roll me a deceptionfor the code thing.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Yeah, I was just goofing around, but 18.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
Okay, she looks down and she goes.
Silva didn't tell us anythingabout a code.
Are you the ones that Silvasent to Soldeus?
Speaker 2 (04:57):
She does know the password, all right.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
She looks up and she reaches her hand out.
She goes.
I'm Galora.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
And I scoop her and I toss her onto the cart and keep
going because I don't want tostop.
We're like four feet from thefire, right?
Speaker 1 (05:10):
No, no, no, you guys made it.
What I was describing was whatyou guys were seeing, as you
were.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
Oh, riding into the city I forget to mention she was
on fire as she was having thisconversation.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
It's real chill.
Speaker 4 (05:22):
Ironically, I don't feel pain, so she basically saw
it in the distance.
She saw an explosion in thedistance and she goes.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Oh, after you throw her up on the cart, she goes.
I was hoping that you wouldcome with me and you notice that
there is now an open door thatyou could park your cart into.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Yeah, and then I park my cart in there and then we
all hop off.
Okay, it's being polite.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
She goes.
Ah, so I haven't seen yourfaces before.
Speaker 4 (05:51):
Which one of you is Vance and which one of you is
Dolo.
All right, I'm Dolo.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
Okay, begrudgingly saying your name.
Yeah, she goes, okay, and youmust be Vance, and about that
time she reaches, reaches, sheputs down her bag and she gets
out and she hands you a mace.
Okay, and Dolo, she hands youessentially a slip of paper and
we'll get to that here in a bitand the mace that she gave you
(06:18):
is currently imbued and you cansee that silver is lining the
handle and up towards the macehead, and you know that this is
or well, well, I guess you don'tknow, but this is essentially a
plus one mace that also does1d4 radiant damage when you use
it.
And she goes.
I was told to give you this.
(06:38):
We'll talk more about your,your paper soon.
Uh, there's a spell that itwill help you cast, follow me.
And then you go, you open up adoor and it leads to a staircase
and you go down the staircaseand it opens up into a big
meeting room where you see threeother people standing in this
(06:59):
room.
You see a very large, like thelargest orc you have ever seen,
in full, heavy, silver, ornatearmor.
You see a wizard-looking elf inrobes that are lined with
silver and onyx, and then,finally, our special guest for
today is at the same table.
(07:20):
When you walk up, the elf goesah, hello, hello, our guests.
Silva has mentioned quite a bitabout you.
I, just to be blunt, I'm a bitweary, uh, especially about this
one.
Uh, a bit on the horny side.
But it seems, gentlemen, thatwe have a a stellar opportunity
(07:43):
for all of us here toessentially bring down this
corrupt organization that we'veall been affected by.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
Would you like to?
Speaker 1 (07:51):
take a seat.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
He goes, okay, around the room, he points and he goes
the orc here.
This is Dulik.
He is our commander of we don'treally have an armed forces,
but any time that shit hits thefan, he seems to be the one that
gets us out of it.
And then he looks at both ofyou and he just grunts and nods.
And then, of course, we haveDaith, and I'll go ahead and let
(08:16):
you introduce yourself to theparty.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
Hey, I scout the area between places, not like
alleyways, but like worlds.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
Oh, that's very descriptive.
Thank you for keeping thatpretty clear.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Yeah, and then he goes and of course you've met
Galora and he points to thehalf-elf and I am Karim.
I am the wizard who has beenresearching here with Daith, the
place between places, as hekind of described it other
planes I noticed and Silvafilled us in on exactly what
(08:55):
your abilities are after dealingwith Alyssum, and we believe we
have found a way to attack herwhere she lives and we were
hoping that you gentlemen wouldbe right there going through the
portal with us.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
Yeah, that's going to help our buddy right, Get the
necklace off.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Ah, yes, the necklace .
We don't have any furtherinformation about that, so
unfortunately I cannot help youwith that.
Speaker 4 (09:22):
What do you mean?
You can't help me?
Speaker 1 (09:25):
I mean, I don't know why I would have to explain any.
Are you asking me to like provea negative?
Speaker 4 (09:30):
No, I mean like you don't have, there's no
information, nothing you couldtell me.
I mean, we came all this way.
I got this shit stuck on me.
They told me you was going tobe able to help me out.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
I don't think they told you that I could help you.
I think they told you that bycoming here and dealing with
Alyssum that would help.
I mean, their best scientiststried to get that thing off of
you and couldn't help.
I don't know any more than him.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
He was a bit of a crackpot.
Speaker 4 (09:52):
Yeah, man he just wanted to pour stuff on me and
giggle.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
I mean, it's pretty, we don't have iPhones yet, you
sure I can't't wait just gettingsomething poured on you and
giggling.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
That doesn't sound, that doesn't sound terrible but
he goes.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
Unfortunately I cannot.
However, before we head in, wewould like to offer you as much
help as we can in prepping forthis venture, because it does
seem to be quite perilous.
And he leads you over and sendsyou over with duluk, and in
this room is essentially anypiece of armor, any like spell
(10:33):
scrolls that are, I would say,probably second, third level or
lower.
Uh, and you guys will have toroll to see what you're able to
find in here, but any gearing upthat you want to do or training
before entering this realmneeds to be done now.
This is when the video gamebasically tells you hey, make
sure you've got your affairs inorder before you go in here.
Speaker 3 (10:53):
Yeah, if you look over there, we've got a giant
barrel filled with healingpotions.
Over there is a save spot andin the back corner we've got a
bunch of food that gives buffs.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
And nine millimeter ammo.
Just a broom clasp with atypewriter.
Yeah right, and there's a pizzaon the floor too.
Speaker 4 (11:08):
A whole rotisserie chicken, I'm just going to eat a
bunch of these leeks, Okay.
Speaker 1 (11:15):
And then Dullek looks at you and he goes you got that
piece of paper.
Maybe, why are you like this?
Speaker 4 (11:27):
You told me to play my character.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
I like how every NPC is already based off the
previous NPC's interaction.
No, no, no, they called ahead,they warned us.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
These people have been nothing but nice.
Speaker 3 (11:41):
NPCs here.
They run on a hive mind.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
He goes.
I'm trying to help you.
Speaker 4 (11:49):
I'm trying to help you.
Let's help each other out.
You want this piece of paper,what you got for me.
Speaker 1 (11:56):
I'm trying to.
Not everything is a deal.
Speaker 4 (12:01):
Sometimes people are just trying to help as he says
that I just slide him the pieceof paper.
But also I want a sleight ofhand, not let him take it.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
Son of a bitch.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
All right, roll your sleight of hand Ooh 18.
Oh he got 16 on the dice but heis not uh dex based so you got
lucky on that one.
So he's like okay, come on,it's like the little ice cream
cone finally, I'll let him haveit okay, I would it.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
I would hate that so much you know what he looks at.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
Both of you, we'll handle this alright.
Dave, you're now the maincharacter.
I wish it was nice working withthe other two.
But he takes the piece of paperand he holds three books and he
goes this piece of paper and heholds three books and he goes
this piece of paper is attunedto these three tomes and
(13:03):
whichever one that you attune to, it will essentially let you
change the element of yourspells into the book that you
attune to so it'll allow you todiversify your fire magic,
because I know that fire doesn'tseem to be as effective to
illusions as most creatures.
So he hands you these threetomes and essentially, whichever
(13:24):
one you attune to for the day,it will allow you to transmute
your fire spells into eitherradiant, necrotic or water.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
Nice wet fire.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
Yeah, wet fire.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
Yeah, oh, that's my stage name from now on.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
But they are limited.
Each book can only be used fivetimes because as you use the
slip of paper in each book, itburns away the pages.
It looks like you have alreadygotten your mace.
Speaker 4 (13:56):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
Is there any other equipment that the two of you
would like?
Speaker 2 (14:01):
Yeah, I'd like to try to find something to help my
dex, because my dex is let mecheck here bad, it's very bad.
Some would say it's negative.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Oh, okay.
Well, everybody has to be badat some things.
Speaker 4 (14:13):
But you don't have to be abysmal, I'm going to look
around for some healing items orpotions, because I'm wearing
this necklace and I got to keepsurviving the damn necklace.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
Also real quick.
Who made your?
Speaker 2 (14:27):
character Me, so it's your fault.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
Yeah, okay, you're like I want to fix this thing
that I made a problem.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
Yeah, you go.
Hey, do you want to have anyarmor to help improve your
character?
Like yes, I'd like to improvemy character's weakest point.
Like how dare you?
Speaker 1 (14:42):
no, I just thought it was funny that you're like, oh,
I'm bad at this thing.
It's like, yeah, but uh.
So when you look around you dofind a pair of boots, okay, that
will give you uh plus one toyour decks, and then he does
give you uh each two, uh healthpotions.
After that, I think, if youguys are good, we will go ahead
and get started with the ritual.
Speaker 4 (15:03):
A ritual.
Speaker 1 (15:04):
Mm-hmm, we can get the portal open.
Speaker 4 (15:06):
Oh, all right.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
Okay.
So he sits, everybody down andhe goes.
Okay, essentially, what isgoing to happen is we have
located the exact coordinates ofthe plane that Elissum is using
to hide all of her companionsand all of her illusions, and
blinking them in and out of ourrealm, which makes it incredibly
(15:31):
difficult to combat her,considering she creates them
what seems to be as fast as weare destroying them, considering
she creates them what seems tobe as fast as we are destroying
them.
So when this opens, we willhave very little time and I
cannot promise what's going tobe on the other side.
I do know that we will bewithin Arrow's distance of their
(15:52):
base Because it seems, like onthe other plane, she has decided
to use this city as her home.
Like on the other plane, she hasdecided to use this city as as
her home.
So please be very careful andbe very cautious, because you
will not see what is there untilwe cross that threshold.
And then kiram looks up andgoes dave, are you ready?
Yeah, I suppose so.
(16:12):
So at this time he holds up hisstaff and he is making a symbol
on the wall and at about thattime you touch it to bring
through the plane.
And the moment that you see thetear beginning to come down,
you feel a sharp pain in yourarm.
Give me a wisdom saving throw.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
Heart attack.
Son of a bitch yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
You smell burnt toast .
This is how my dad went yeahyeah, and thank you for joining
us today.
Speaker 3 (16:44):
I'm sorry it didn't work out Dead before the first
commercial break.
Yeah, we're really just herefor your name.
Speaker 1 (16:54):
Six.
Speaker 3 (16:54):
Six.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
Okay, wow, that's with being a ranger as well, I
rolled a four, oh no.
So at about that time you feelthat sharp pain shoot up your
arm as you take literallyminimum damage to necrotic
damage and it begins to just youfeel a burning, necrotic surge
go through your body.
(17:18):
But the riff opens up.
And the moment that the riffgets all the way to all the
sigils that were just drawn,tentacle and ethereal arms,
blast out of it and grab thethree of you and pull you in.
Speaker 3 (17:35):
Oh, hey, I think there's a problem.
Speaker 4 (17:37):
Don't put your phone.
And the moment the three of youcross oh hey, I think there's a
bra.
Speaker 1 (17:39):
Don't put your phone and the moment the three of you
cross that threshold, the dooris sealed behind you and the
look Karen and Galora did notmake it through in time.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
What about Av?
Speaker 1 (17:54):
Av, she's with the cart.
That's what that's her job.
Speaker 2 (17:55):
All right, okay, that's her job.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
Okay, we'll come back when something that we forgot
about that needs to be wrappedup, needs wrapped up Av will do
it.
Speaker 4 (18:04):
She better be watching that cart.
I got those crates.
Speaker 2 (18:06):
I ain't forgot, I ain't even opened them to see
what's in there.
Yet that's true, I got the keysto my man, grotto.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
Yep, my cart Yep.
And as you cross this threshold, your eyes almost need to
adjust.
Actually, all of your eyes doneed to adjust.
Give me wisdom saving throwsfrom everybody except Dath,
because you failed the first one.
Speaker 3 (18:30):
Good, because I also would have failed the second one
, oh, okay, 21.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
Okay 22.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
Okay, cool, so both of you.
It's almost like when you stepout into the sun or I guess I'm
an idiot you literally steppedinto the ether.
Your eyes are adjusting to thedarkness.
Speaker 2 (18:46):
It's like the sun.
But if it was out.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
Yeah right, Literally the opposite in every way.
I just tried to say.
Speaker 4 (18:52):
Yeah, but we're dark vision.
Speaker 1 (18:55):
Right, but this is magical darkness Okay.
Yes, which is different thanhow dms get past dark vision
that's fair um.
So as your eyes adjust, youcan't see very far in front of
you, but often the distance yousee glimmering lights of what
looks like an absolutely massivemansion I bet they got some
(19:17):
good stuff to steal in thereDolo.
Speaker 4 (19:19):
They probably do.
I don't like the shape of thathouse, though that's very
plantation-like.
Where the fuck are we?
Speaker 3 (19:27):
I guess, oh God, I've been stricken blind.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
It looks like Alabama .
Oh God, ding-a-ling,ding-a-ling.
Oh God, I recognize that music.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
Run, run.
I don't know, it's a bit of ajaunty tune.
I might check it out.
I have made a terrible mistake.
Speaker 1 (19:46):
And the tentacles that pulled you in are now
retracting back into the mansionand you see them going in
through the windows at the top.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
Well, I think they know we're here.
Speaker 4 (19:59):
Yeah, I think they also made off with your manhood.
It looks like Where'd that comefrom.
What I don't know, it wastentacles.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
I just assumed where they Did you just ad-lib him
getting neutered?
Yeah, I pat myself down.
I'm like no, no, no.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
I'm circumcised now.
That's me.
Speaker 4 (20:19):
What a strange turn of events.
Speaker 3 (20:22):
Didn't fill a thing.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
That's crazy.
Very efficient.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
Here, here, and I grab Dath by the arm.
I'm like I got you, buddy, youall right, you good, it's me,
it's your new friend, vince withan A.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
He's got it.
Speaker 3 (20:35):
It's me Vance, your friend, but wait no, there's
supposed to be six of us to dothis.
There's only three of us now.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
You can't know that You're blind.
Speaker 3 (20:41):
He counts as two people.
I only hear the two of you andI smell my friends.
Speaker 4 (20:45):
I know they smell.
You guys' smells are unfamiliarto me.
Yeah, that orc did have a smell.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
Yeah, this is very got left behind.
Two random strangers, temporaryblindness.
It's one hell of a trip for youTalking about magical
circumcision and plantationowners?
Speaker 3 (21:03):
I'm afraid yeah, well , come on it's just a Tuesday.
It's not.
What are you talking about?
It's Thursday Exactly.
Let's go.
Speaker 2 (21:12):
Standing around being worried ain't going to change
nothing.
That door is shut.
Speaker 3 (21:15):
Aiming my bow at nothing, literally everything.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
At this moment you can see, your eyes have adjusted
better and there are manyillusions, but not the type of
illusions that you are used toin the normal plane, where they
were taking the form of likehumans.
These, almost these literallylook like specters, like flying
cloaks, hollow faces withshadowy fingers peering from
them, and it almost looks likethey are not on their own free
(21:46):
will.
Right now they are literallyjust traveling paths and I need
all three of you to roll meinsight or perception.
Speaker 2 (21:54):
Daith, don't worry, I'll describe what's happening.
Thank you, we are in aDisneyland-esque small world
situation, but it's hell.
Speaker 4 (22:01):
You can see now that was very temporary Bam 22.
Speaker 1 (22:04):
Okay, just like a seven, like a seven.
Speaker 3 (22:07):
Just like a seven dude 25.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
Okay, yeah, so the two of you they got over 20s you
very quickly notice that theseexterior like spirits are very
clockwork.
You can easily maneuver throughthem without being spotted, um,
and you are able to track theirpaths pretty quickly as you
make it through, uh, this opencourtyard, um, one thing that
(22:31):
you are noticing is that when,when they reach the end of their
path, instead, instead of themturning around and looping,
they're literally floating upand disappearing and a new one
is spawning.
So it's just a constant cycleof creation and stuff like that.
Once you make it into thecourtyard, the specters seem to
(22:52):
be getting more.
What's a good way.
They're forming to be likestronger entities like they.
These are now more along thelines of what you've seen out
and about, uh, so you can kindof, with your perception checks
put together, that the closeryou get, the the more, uh,
diligent you need to be.
(23:13):
Um, and in this courtyard itseems to be almost opposite of
the rest of this drearylandscape, where there's like a
full garden, there's a fountain.
It's almost like they aretrying to recreate what they
have seen on the other side, andthe illusions here are so
(23:34):
strong that you can actuallysmell the flowers and you are
actually getting a sense.
And for a moment, I need youguys to make me intelligence
saving throws so strong that youcan actually smell the flowers
and you are actually getting asense.
And for a moment, I need youguys to make me intelligence
saving throws 17.
Speaker 4 (23:45):
Okay, intelligence 10 .
Okay, 10.
18.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
Luckily the DC's nine , so Okay, perfect.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
Yeah right.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
Yes, and Tyler yes, and we get too close.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
DC's nine, so nothing bad happens from a fail.
No, I'm just kidding, the DCsave was 12.
So if you guys were justdropped here and you didn't see
the previous events in thisgarden, you would think you're
still in the real world.
But for you, for a moment, youalmost question whether you're
here or not.
In this courtyard you see thefront door, which has four of
(24:21):
these specters in front of it,the more formed ones, but you
also see a a side entrance.
Well, you know in, like the oldmansions and stuff like that,
there's always a big yard aroundthe whole thing with like gates
and stuff like that, so youalso see side gates to lead to
the back courtyard of themansion.
How would you guys like toproceed?
Speaker 2 (24:41):
Well, what do you think, Ranger?
Speaker 3 (24:43):
Yeah, I mean, if we want to go around the back,
obviously there's going to,obviously, obviously I'm going
to keep saying it because I hopeit's true Be a little less
threats, but inside, in thefront door, we're in it.
So how do you work as a team?
Speaker 1 (25:03):
Are you like a head-on confrontation kind of
group or you sneak around.
Speaker 4 (25:09):
As they're discussing this, I'm looking for a window.
Speaker 1 (25:13):
Okay, yeah, I mean, it's a huge mansion.
There are many windows, all theway around.
Speaker 4 (25:16):
Yeah, I'm looking for a window and I'm going to find
a window along.
You said there's like awraparound porch.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
Yeah, I'm going to find one of those windows and
start trying to jimmy my wayinto that window when you
approach the window and you getout your lockpick set, the
windows aren't real, so when yougo to put your lockpick in it
it's not moving the pins.
You can't.
Speaker 4 (25:39):
You can't physically manipulate it what happens if I
go to try to open the windowwhen you go to try to open the
window.
Speaker 1 (25:49):
Uh, you can, you can put your hands on it, but uh, I
guess, roll me a strength checkanyways, we, uh, we kind of go
through all right, just kind ofwhatever happens to us.
I see, yeah, they're morereactionary, okay, in their
nature.
Speaker 4 (26:02):
I get mad at it like I stubbed my toe.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah you gota nat 20.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
And I hate to be that DM, but the physical pressure
that you apply to this windowdoes not budge it.
However, with your nat 20, Iwill give you advantage on your
wisdom to try and, like willyourself, to open this door
(26:29):
that's what I was trying to getyou to realize.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
I thought you were gonna give him a hernia.
Speaker 4 (26:34):
I was gonna say, I'll take that too.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
Yeah, maybe the first ever nat 20.
That hurts the player oh youknow what?
Speaker 4 (26:41):
uh, in that case, you know what?
Y'all have an idea, because Ithink I've just figured
something out.
I just tried like hell to openthis window, damn near, threw my
neck out.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
But I think I have an idea.
Are you lifting?
Speaker 3 (26:53):
with your neck.
Yeah, that's real bad for you.
Speaker 1 (26:55):
Yeah, you just grab it and you go Just strain it.
Yeah, I'm not lifting with mylegs.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
It's very dangerous.
No, it's twisting in your back.
Speaker 1 (27:10):
I got a plan and I just I'm like this, I got this,
and I just turn around and Iwalk backwards into that, just
like, all right, that didn'twork.
What were you doing into thewindow?
Yeah, so here's the thing makeme a wisdom check.
Speaker 2 (27:15):
Oh son of a bitch I'm good at that too, so uh,
fucking 19 okay, did you believethat you were actually going to
do something?
Speaker 1 (27:23):
yeah you did, yeah, youased through and break the
window.
Speaker 2 (27:28):
Yeah, break the window.
Speaker 1 (27:29):
Break the window Because you can consciously
comprehend the situation.
So you, that's what you saidyou did.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
I was hoping I was going to Kitty Pryde through it
at best.
But yeah, here we are.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
You believed that you were going to affect the window
, so you just full-on walkedinto it and then broke and fell
through the window.
I just thumbs up.
Speaker 2 (27:48):
I got it, guys.
I didn't know that.
All right, sorry about thatyeah.
Speaker 4 (27:53):
You know he surprises me some days.
Was that your plan?
Yeah, it was actually.
I'm not exactly sure how heknew, but you'd be surprised.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
Hey, at least you guys are on the same page, you
asked how we work as a team.
Speaker 4 (28:03):
We don't, and it works.
Speaker 3 (28:06):
All right, I'm going to climb in the window.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
Okay, as you climb through this now spectral broken
window, you see the elegance ofthis mansion.
It looks like every bit ofpride and greed and just the
vein of wanting the materialworld all for yourself is
embodied in this mansion.
Speaker 2 (28:29):
Ah, we're in a Kardashian.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
I mean a lot of people have been in a Kardashian
hey.
Speaker 4 (28:37):
All right, thanks everybody, we'll see you next
week.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
Monster, monster, monster.
We'll see you next week Roll me.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
I hate to keep having you do perception checks.
So either perception or arcana27.
Speaker 4 (28:50):
Okay, I'm going to go perception and give myself a 17
.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
11 perception.
Speaker 1 (28:57):
Okay, 11,.
So everybody did perception.
So where the garden seemed real, with the smells and stuff like
this, the moment you brokethrough that seal of the
exterior, unless you areactively thinking about it, you
will lose track of what realmyou are in.
So, uh, essentially, be carefulwith letting your mind wander
(29:19):
here.
Speaker 2 (29:19):
Yeah yeah, as we're walking, I'm like hey I didn't
know that was your plan.
I'm sorry, I was doing a goofand it worked.
Speaker 4 (29:27):
Yeah, just remember, all your goofs actually work in
this world.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
Thank God.
I might never leave a realmwhere all my bits land.
Let's not get carried away.
I'll let you fall through awindow.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
As you make it through and you realize this,
you also notice the 20s that thewindow did cause quite a bit of
commotion and you hear manyfootsteps heading your way.
You need to very quickly make adecision on whether you're
going back out the window ordeeper into the house or up a
staircase that you see, but youcan't see what's at the top of
(30:10):
the staircase All you hear, arefootsteps.
Staircase.
Speaker 4 (30:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
Okay, you head up the staircase, yep.
Speaker 4 (30:17):
We don't even discuss it, we just kind of take off
running like in a horror movie.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
Okay, I need everybody, since you all went up
the stairs, to roll medexterity saving throws.
Speaker 2 (30:30):
Guys, I'm slightly better than I used to be.
Those boots are sharp 15 on thedie, so 15, baby, You're
welcome.
Speaker 1 (30:38):
It could have been a 14.
It could have been a 14.
Just be thankful for what youget you know 16.
Speaker 3 (30:42):
Okay, I'm really going to run the gamut here.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
Natural one oh, no, yes, so luckily the two of you
take no damage, because Daithtook all of it, oh shit.
Speaker 2 (30:56):
He's the first one up , just yeah right.
Speaker 3 (30:58):
I get halfway up the stairs, it turns into a slide.
Speaker 1 (31:02):
Oh shit.
Makes that little clown whistlenoise as you head up the stairs
since you were first you do notnotice a trip wire on the third
from the top staircase and asyou hit that trip wire, the step
falls from beneath you and youslide away.
Speaker 4 (31:23):
Fuck guys.
Speaker 3 (31:24):
I got him.
Yeah, oh shit, you'reseparating from the group.
Fuck guys I got him yeah, ohshit.
Speaker 1 (31:26):
Separating from the group.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
He gets yoinked a lot .
Speaker 1 (31:30):
Upon hitting the ground, you take five falling
damage.
Now, vance and Dolo, you have adecision to make.
Do you follow or do youcontinue up the stairs, because
I'll let you guys take.
You know it exists, so if youstep you can follow him, or you
guys continue up the staircase.
Speaker 2 (31:49):
I like that.
We're just leaning over like aTarantino trunk scene.
Speaker 4 (31:52):
How far down is he.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
You cannot see the bottom because it turns.
Speaker 2 (31:58):
I don't want to leave him separated.
Speaker 3 (32:00):
My legs are very badly broken, shut up.
Speaker 4 (32:06):
We're trying to think .
Speaker 1 (32:08):
The tentacles are here.
Suck on where they live.
Speaker 3 (32:11):
They're very intrusive.
Speaker 4 (32:13):
Is my foreskin down there.
I don't even say anything.
I just look at Vance and I justpush him down the hole.
I go whee, Whee, Okay.
Speaker 1 (32:28):
All right, brian, making all the executive
decisions today.
So, now final question Do yougo down the?
Speaker 4 (32:35):
hole.
Speaker 1 (32:35):
Yeah, I jump down behind him Because if you pushed
him down and then went up thestairs?
Speaker 3 (32:42):
I'm not going to do a repeat of that.
This is Dolo's episode now.
All right, so you do a repeatof that.
All right, so you do jump down,yeah, okay.
Speaker 1 (32:48):
As you get to the bottom of this slide, you go
into a room that has completelychanged the atmosphere and is
very one might say dungeon-esque.
So in this room you are not ina cell in particular, you are in
a big open, what almost seemslike a cathedral-esque room, and
(33:13):
you got dumped right in frontof an altar.
Make me, I guess, since the twoof you went down willingly roll
me insight checks 15.
Speaker 4 (33:23):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (33:25):
Well, that's a six Vance vance with your 15.
As you were sliding down, younoticed that a ton of like a
bunch.
As you were going down thisslide, there were other slides
that were connecting, so there'swhat you're putting together.
Is there's a bunch of thesetraps throughout this mansion
that all lead here.
We we're playing Dungeons andDragons and shoots and ladders
(33:46):
Mostly just shoots and stairs.
There haven't been any laddersactually.
So you make it to the bottomand the three of you get dumped
out to what is essentially analtar in front of a large
cathedral-looking area.
Speaker 2 (34:01):
Can I roll a religion check?
Speaker 3 (34:06):
Yeah, that's perfect too, because you see your
foreskin on the altar.
Speaker 2 (34:10):
I get distracted by that.
I got a 10 total.
Speaker 4 (34:13):
It's slowly growing into a new him, a better him.
Speaker 2 (34:18):
I've always wanted to have a brother.
Speaker 3 (34:23):
He's wearing a turtleneck.
Speaker 4 (34:26):
Looks like Steve Jobs .
Speaker 1 (34:27):
No.
No he's not, but you could havethe iPhone now.
That's neat.
So you said you got a 10?
.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
So you see the symbols, you've seen them before
, but unfortunately you justcan't recall what god or what
entity that these follow.
Speaker 4 (34:55):
Actually, that's a good point.
Can I roll a history and see ifI recognize any of them from
any of the stuff I'm carrying orthe necklace I'm?
Speaker 1 (35:02):
wearing?
Yes, but you'll get differentinformation than if you were a
religion, so I don't know whatyou want to find out.
Speaker 4 (35:09):
I just want to see, because the reason I asked
history is because I've beenseeing different symbols and
I've been trying to connect itto what we originally found in
that cave.
For sure, still don't know I'musing the thing.
Speaker 1 (35:21):
Honestly, if you're just trying to remember, if
these were the symbols that yousaw in the cave, then yes, oh,
okay, so they are.
Not all of them, but some ofthem.
Okay, the main symbol on thealtar is not, but the
surrounding symbols are.
Speaker 4 (35:35):
There's some infernal magic happening around here,
baby All right, some deep shitgoing on.
Is the altar lit?
Is there any lighting?
Speaker 1 (35:48):
Yes, there are candles all around you and on
the altar it is drenched inblood.
Speaker 2 (35:53):
Oh, I go in, hang on, I can check on Daith.
Speaker 1 (35:55):
Oh hey.
Speaker 3 (35:56):
Are you?
Speaker 4 (35:56):
alright dude, please get off me.
No wonder that fall didn't hurt, dude.
Why'd you just stay laying inthe same spot?
Speaker 3 (36:04):
Because I impacted and then I heard sounds and then
this guy was on my face.
I just thought you gave up.
Speaker 1 (36:12):
You're like this is me now.
This is me.
I live here now.
Speaker 3 (36:15):
Two things I'm good at finding traps and pathways.
Speaker 2 (36:20):
Not doing well on either of them.
Speaker 3 (36:22):
No, you found both, that's true, just need to do it
a couple seconds earlier.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
Would you like to make any checks for this room?
Speaker 2 (36:32):
Now that the dwarf is off your face, yeah.
Speaker 4 (36:35):
That's a sentence I've wanted to say for a while.
Speaker 3 (36:37):
No, I don't think I have anything that would be
beneficial here.
Speaker 1 (36:50):
Okay, if you do want to make a religion or history
check, I will give you advantage, since your organization was
researching this.
Speaker 3 (36:56):
Oh fair, I was paying attention during those meetings
.
Speaker 1 (37:00):
I mean, that's up to you.
That's what I say.
Speaker 2 (37:02):
I was paying attention.
Speaker 1 (37:03):
Yeah, 12.
With a 12, you recognize thesymbol in the middle of the
altar.
You can't quite remembereverything that Karim was saying
it does, but you do recognizeit as the symbol and you know
that it summons a creature.
Speaker 3 (37:19):
Okay, that symbol.
They talked about this in thebriefing.
It does a thing, I don'tremember exactly what.
No, that's not true.
It summons something.
What it summons, I don'tremember.
Speaker 2 (37:36):
Thank you.
Speaker 3 (37:37):
Yeah, the wizard was supposed to be here for this
part.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (37:39):
That would have been incredibly helpful if your
buddies came along, but you dowhat you can with what you got.
Speaker 1 (37:46):
That's the nicest way to be like.
You didn't help us.
That was very polite.
Speaker 2 (37:51):
I'm being sincere.
It would be nice, but it's like.
You do what you can, can'tchange it now.
No use crying over spilt milk.
Do our best here.
Speaker 3 (37:57):
Should we scrape all the blood off the altar that way
, it's not the hour.
Speaker 4 (38:01):
Before we do that, with all the candles in the room
using control flame, can Ibrighten the room?
Speaker 1 (38:07):
Yes, you can.
Speaker 4 (38:10):
Ooh Once.
Speaker 1 (38:15):
I brighten the room, I want to look around and see if
there's any doors or pathwaysor anything else in this.
When you brighten the room andyou start to see what is in the
rest of this very dark cathedral, you see, I'll just say a lot
because it's pews.
It's a big cathedral with thisaltar in front of it.
Essentially every pew is filledwith these warrior-looking
(38:35):
spirits and they all have theirhead bowed and they're not
moving.
Speaker 3 (38:40):
Turn off light.
Speaker 4 (38:41):
Well good thing we came down here, right, this was
a good idea, right.
Speaker 1 (38:55):
It was your idea.
Speaker 4 (38:56):
Yeah, I know Not exactly.
It was his idea to begin with.
Speaker 1 (39:01):
It wasn't his idea.
Speaker 3 (39:02):
Now you told me that the way this team works is you
just let stuff happen to you.
That is true.
That's what I with.
It wasn't his idea.
Speaker 4 (39:05):
It had to do with him .
Now you told me that the waythis team works is you just let
stuff happen to you.
That is true.
That's what I did.
It's a terrible philosophy,it's a terrible philosophy.
How many would you say thereare?
Speaker 1 (39:12):
What you can see right now is about 10 within the
first two rows, but you can'tsee further back.
You cannot even see the back ofthe room of the room.
Speaker 4 (39:21):
Hmm, hmm, hmm.
Speaker 1 (39:23):
But they have not reacted to you.
Speaker 4 (39:25):
yet what about on the ?
Is there anything behind thealtar on the other side, or is
it just a wall?
Speaker 1 (39:29):
Where you fell in is just the back wall with
basically a cloak that you guyskind of fell through that has
one of the symbols on it drapedalong that back wall Candles
around you, altar, with the mainsymbol on it covered in blood.
Speaker 4 (39:42):
Huh, you know any cool spells here, ranger.
Speaker 3 (39:46):
Uh, like delete ghost no.
Oh, you have that, that'd begreat, that'd be dope.
What is this?
Control alt, delete ghost.
Speaker 4 (39:57):
Uh, no, let's, uh, can you cloak us?
Speaker 3 (40:00):
Oh, I mean I can move us where you want to go Down
that aisle.
Speaker 4 (40:05):
Okay, I mean, we don't really have another option
.
It's either this or go layVance on the altar.
Speaker 1 (40:13):
That's it.
That's all we do.
Speaker 2 (40:15):
I guess, if that's our only option no questions.
I'll probably be heading downthis hallway.
Speaker 3 (40:23):
So I'm going to cast on us protection from good and
evil.
Okay, I don't know, I can'ttell.
Speaker 1 (40:32):
Now I know, obviously protection from good and evil
protects you from good and evilbut what exactly are the?
I'm not familiar with what itexactly does.
Does it give you a boost tosaving throws?
Speaker 4 (40:47):
I also do have a question.
Speaker 2 (40:49):
Is his shoulder sigil going off or my eyes going off
at all?
No, no.
Speaker 4 (40:54):
That's what I was trying to lean into too.
Walk into it, baby, let's seewhat happens.
Yeah, because I thought justgetting close to the altar
things would go off.
Yeah, no, no.
Speaker 3 (41:04):
Yeah, I thought just getting close to the altar
things would go off.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So it gives disadvantage to anycreature of those alignments
attacking us.
Okay, and then it also makes itso that we cannot be charmed or
frightened by creatures of goodor evil.
Speaker 1 (41:17):
Awesome, okay, good to know, good to know,
especially the charm one.
What yeah, wink, wink, so youstep down to head basically out
of this room.
Right as you take your firststep off that staircase, another
row of candles lights up on theoutside of the pews, revealing
(41:37):
another row of illusions.
Your next step reveals anothercandle with even more illusions,
and every step you take seemsto be lined with another row of
pews and more illusions.
Speaker 3 (41:53):
These guys all have their heads down as we're
starting to kind of walk pastthem, I want to look over my
shoulder.
What is there?
Is it solemn?
Yeah behind you.
Speaker 1 (42:03):
Essentially they are in a very stereotypical hands-in
and just head down brain as ifthey were praying.
Yes, and these ones are verythey look human-esque, so these
are not shadowy figures.
These look more like peoplewith more of a spectral aura to
them, and they all have theirheads down and their eyes are
(42:23):
closed.
Let's see and after you make itabout halfway down the aisle,
you hear from everywhere all atonce just the beginning of a
maniacal laughter.
Oh, oh, is it for a second?
I thought you were gonna saysomething and I was gonna let
you finish nope, I just that'snot good.
Yeah, and all you ears.
(42:44):
Oh, gentlemen, it's so nice tohave you here For a minute.
Speaker 2 (42:49):
I thought it was going to be that Gorillaz song.
The Gorillaz song oh.
Speaker 1 (42:56):
Feel good.
She goes.
Gentlemen, it is so nice tohave you here.
Unfortunately, I couldn't getthe entire group of you
insignificant flies referring toyour friends to bring you all
to the slaughter at once, but atleast I got the three that were
going to be the biggest thornin my side.
Speaker 2 (43:18):
You hear that that's some respect on it.
Speaker 3 (43:21):
That's kind of nice.
Speaker 1 (43:23):
The last thing you hear is the room explodes.
No, this is pretty good.
And she goes.
And it seems like after youmade it into my house, you fell
into one of my mini traps andhere's how this is going to go
down.
The two of you, and at thismoment she appears from the
altar that you guys were walkingfrom.
(43:44):
So she appears behind you, shegoes.
The two of you you with themessed up eyes that you somehow
got, and you with the strangetattoo, it seems, when you left
my realm the last time, you tooka percentage of my power with
you.
So you are going to simply givethat back.
Or, as heroes like to say, dietrying.
(44:05):
And you, as heroes like to say,die trying.
And you, you're going to bevery helpful, you, I'm going to
drain every bit of magic out youand open up these little
schisms throughout the entireland with just every bit of
magic that's in your body.
Speaker 3 (44:23):
I shoot her Just immediately just whack an arrow
and go okay, give me a two hitI'm gonna use my um bonus action
to turn it into force damageokay, I don't know if that'll
make a difference, but they'reall ghostly and 20 a 20 to hit,
not natural 20.
Speaker 1 (44:42):
Correct, okay, cool.
So you take your shot and shewas expecting it to just be a
normal arrow, so she doesn'teven react.
She just stands there expectingit to go straight through her.
But it hits her right square inthe shoulder and it blasts her
shoulder back and she looks andshe goes oh I see, you're not a
(45:03):
fan of monologues and she snapsand at that time every head in
all the pews looks up, theireyes open in blazing fire.
And that is where we are endingtoday's session.
Speaker 2 (45:19):
That's fun, all right .
Speaker 3 (45:23):
You guys didn't want to talk to her more did you Not
really?
Speaker 1 (45:25):
Okay, All right, so that is the end of this first
session in this ethereal realm.
Thank you, everybody forjoining us.
My name is Tyler Waltz and I'vebeen your DM.
Speaker 2 (45:34):
Hi everybody, I'm Tyson Cox.
You can find me atTysonCoxComedy.
I do stand-up and we're goingto be at Gen Con, so make sure
to check us out.
We're going to have two MonsterMonsters, some stand-up shows.
It's going to be a really fun,nerdy time, so check us out,
Look for the new stuff under GenCon, and that'll be all our
events.
Speaker 4 (45:50):
I've been Brian Petrie.
You can find me at everythingBrian Petrie Comedy.
We run around traveling withthese dudes doing live shows, so
keep track, follow us online.
Yeah, I've been.
Speaker 3 (46:01):
Dolo and I'm Rev.
I have been Ranger DaithGarmajan.
You can find everything aboutme at thecritshowpodcastcom,
where we do a ton of actual playcontent.
Speaker 1 (46:12):
We will also be at Gen Con Hell yeah, hell, yeah,
nice, all right, and we'll catchyou guys in the next episode of
Monster Monster.
Thank you all so much.
Bye.
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Special Summer Offer: Exclusively on Apple Podcasts, try our Dateline Premium subscription completely free for one month! With Dateline Premium, you get every episode ad-free plus exclusive bonus content.
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, And Charlamagne Tha God!
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.