Nope! We're Not Monogamous
Ellecia Paine is a non-monogamy relationship coach who helps people navigate ENM (Enthusiastic non-monogamy), polyamory, open relating, swinging, kink, tantra and life in general. Listen in to the candid conversations that give you a peek into the inner lives of other non-monogamous folks. Hear how they've overcome challenges like jealousy, insecurity, and social scrutiny. And celebrate with them as they share all the reasons it's worth it to have relationships that don't fit in the box.
Episodes
Ever wondered if you can learn to feel compersion instead of jealousy? Or if talking about opening up your relationship means you're actually ready to do it? This episode dives deep into these questions and more!
I'm joined by Ally Iseman, a certified relationship coach and founder of Passport to Pleasure. Ally brings her unique blend of humor, compassion, and practical tools to help couples navigate the comp...
Struggling with comparison in your non-monogamous relationship?
Whether it’s jealousy, insecurity, or spiraling thoughts when your partner mentions someone new—you’re not alone, and you’re not broken.
In this episode, we explore why comparison shows up in polyamory and non-monogamy, how it impacts your nervous system, and what you can do to stop the spiral and build emotional safety.
You’ll learn:
- Why comparison hits ...
If you’ve ever struggled with mismatched desires, defining commitment with a partner, or navigating the messier side of non-monogamy — this episode is for you.
In this candid conversation, I talk with Dr. Tammy Nelson, sexologist, therapist, TEDx speaker, and author of Open Monogamy. With 35+ years of experience working with couples in both monogamous and open relationships, Tammy brings a nuanced lens to everything fr...
When I was invited to interview someone from Ashley Madison, I hesitated. My first instinct was judgment — but then I realized, that’s the same kind of stigma people apply to non-monogamy all the time.
This powerful conversation with Paul Keable, Chief Strategy Officer at Ashley Madison, dives deep into the complex, often misunderstood world of infidelity, emotional disconnection, and unmet needs in long-term relations...
Struggling to feel deeply connected in your non-monogamous relationships? Whether you're navigating polyamory, open relationships, or casual connections, meaningful intimacy doesn’t have to take hours of deep conversations or elaborate date nights. In fact, it can start with just five minutes a day.
In this episode, I’m sharing five powerful yet simple practices from my Beyond Monogamy 4CNM Method that can help yo...
The dinner party where your partner's other partner shows up. The wedding where you're trying to explain your relationship structure to curious relatives. The community gathering where you're juggling attention between multiple partners.
Social events in non-monogamous relationships present unique challenges that most relationship advice completely ignores.
In this raw and practical episode, I sit down wi...
Have you ever felt like you're living someone else's version of a "good" relationship? That moment when you realize you've been checking boxes you never actually chose for yourself? I've been there, and it's time we talk about moving from relationship "shoulds" to relationship "coulds."
In this episode, I'm sharing my journey from living a picture-perfect life...
Are you trying to navigate ethical non-monogamy through trial and error? In this episode I reveal why the DIY approach to non-monogamy often leads to unexpected emotional and relationship costs.
Episode Highlights:
• Understanding the hidden costs of unsupported non-monogamy
• Real stories from couples navigating ethical non-monogamy
• Practical solutions for common non-monogamous relationship challenges
• Expert strat...
🎉100 episodes! Can you believe it? Three years ago, I was terrified to be on video, worried about getting it all "right." Now, this podcast has become a thriving space for deep, unfiltered conversations about non-monogamy—and it’s all thanks to you! 💜
To celebrate this milestone, I’m joined by Aly Moon, a polyamory community leader with 15+ years of non-monogamous experience and 7 years of hosting events in...
Feeling lost in non-monogamy? Struggling with unclear boundaries? Without clarity, your relationships can feel uncertain and chaotic. In this episode, I break down why clarity is EVERYTHING when it comes to thriving in open relationships.
📌 In This Episode, You’ll Learn:
✅ How to define your North Star for relationship clarity
✅ The importance of non-negotiables & why they shape your boundaries
✅ How to break free f...
Are you navigating the emotional landscape of non-monogamy? In this episode, I chat with Lola Phoenix, author of "The Anxious Person's Guide to Non-Monogamy", "The Non-monogamy Journal", and host of the "Non-Monogamy Help" podcast. We chat about the complexities of open relationships and how to build a toolkit for managing the intense emotions that often arise.
Key Insights:
- The im...
Have you ever tried to brush off jealousy, hoping it would simply fade away? In this eye-opening episode, I uncover the hidden costs of ignoring this powerful emotion in non-monogamous relationships.
Uncover the truth about jealousy:
- Why avoiding jealousy actually intensifies its impact
- How unaddressed jealousy erodes trust and emotional safety
- Practical steps to prevent jealousy from damaging your connections
We&...
Are you tired of swiping endlessly on dating apps, feeling like you're getting nowhere? In this episode, I sit down with Julie and Yue, the dynamic duo behind the Dateable podcast and authors of "How to Be Dateable: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Person and Falling in Love." These dating experts are here to shake up your approach to modern romance, whether you're monogamous, non-monogamous, or...
Have you ever found yourself caught in the grip of jealousy, promising that next time will be different, only to find those familiar feelings resurface? If you've been trying to tackle jealousy on your own without success, you're not alone. In this episode, I'm pulling back the curtain on why DIY approaches to managing jealousy often fall short, and why deeper work is crucial for lasting change.
I'l...
Are you ready to challenge everything you thought you knew about relationships? In this eye-opening episode, I sit down with Annie Undone, a writer, artist, and relationship anarchist who's been through it all - from monogamy to swinging, polyamory, and now relationship anarchy. Together, we unpack the raw truth about opening up relationships and why it might just lead to the end of your current partnership... bu...
Have you ever felt that knot in your stomach when your partner laughs a little too hard with someone new? Or that tightness in your chest when they're excited about a fresh connection? Jealousy can be an unwelcome guest in our emotional landscape, especially in non-monogamous relationships. But what if I told you that this intense feeling isn't your enemy, but potentially one of your most powerful allies?
In ...
Are you tired of jealousy hijacking your relationships? Imagine stepping into 2025 with the power to transform those uncomfortable feelings into opportunities for growth and deeper connection. In this episode, I'm sharing three powerful tools to help you navigate jealousy in non-monogamous relationships with confidence and grace.
What You'll Discover:
- How to identify jealousy in your body before it spirals...
Are you grappling with jealousy in your non-monogamous relationships? Curious about the differences between solo polyamory and relationship anarchy? In this eye-opening episode, I'm joined by the legendary Kathy Labriola, a counselor, nurse, and author with decades of experience guiding polyamorous and non-monogamous folks.
Mastering Jealousy
- Understanding why jealousy arises and how it differs from envy or cov...
How do you turn someone down romantically without creating awkwardness or burning bridges? In this episode, my partner, Danny, and I tackle one of the trickiest aspects of non-monogamous relationships: rejection. Inspired by a question from one of our Patreon supporters, we explore how to say "no" in a way that’s respectful, kind, and true to your own boundaries.
Key Topics We Cover:
- Why Over-Explaining Hu...
Are You Ready to Rethink How You Date?
Tired of endlessly swiping on dating apps and feeling like you're spinning your wheels? In this episode, I sit down with Rozie Erlewine, a compassionate matchmaker and polyamorous community organizer who’s been helping people connect in the Seattle polyamory scene since 2017. Rozie, the founder of Seattle Inclusive Matchmaking and host of polyamorous speed dating ev...
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