August 21, 2024 • 42 mins
Alex Pursglove just blew my mind with her take on living life with ecstasy and radical trust. We're digging into the struggle of high-achieving women (been there, done that) and how to break free from the "never enough" mindset. Alex shares some serious insight on embracing who you are right now (not who you think you should be).
Can't-miss moments:
- The unexpected connection between ecstasy and... business success? Alex's definition will make you rethink everything...
- A gut-punch reality check about external validation and why it's probably screwing you over right now
- Constantly looking for ways to improve but still struggling? You might have crossed into the "dark side of the high achiever" (this one certainly hit close to home)...
- Alex's jaw-dropping story about following her intuition that led to a healing moment with her dad... just weeks before he passed away
- The simple mindset shift that helped one of Alex's clients increase revenue by 70% in under a year (and it's not what you think)
Alex's bio:
Alex Pursglove guides women in becoming fully expressed and cultivating radical trust to elevate business growth, while living with more ecstasy in daily life. As a master coach, Alex has helped hundreds of women across the world with accelerating in business, and more importantly, learning how to accept and love their most authentic selves. She is a speaker and contributor to Authority Magazine, the host of the Igniting Ecstasy in Business podcast, and she has been featured on the SPEAK stage in New York as well as in Brainz Media and Swaay. She lives in Austin with her beloved husband, Adam, and their daughter, Stella Love.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Angie Colee (00:03):
Welcome to Permission to Kick Ass, the show
that gives you a virtual seatat the bar for the real
conversations that happenbetween entrepreneurs.
I'm interviewing all kinds ofbusiness owners, from those just
a few years into freelancing toCEOs helming nine-figure
companies.
If you've ever worried thateveryone else just seems to get
it and you're missing somethingor messing things up, this show
(00:24):
is for you.
I'm your host, angie Coley, andlet's get to it.
Hey, and welcome back toPermission to Kick Ass.
With me today is my new friend,alex Purseglove.
Say hi, hi, everybody.
We were spending a whole lot oftime talking about setting up
(00:44):
recording environments and stufflike that.
We almost forgot to hit record.
So tell us a little bit aboutyour business.
Alex Pursglove (00:47):
Yeah, happy to dive right in with that.
So what I essentially do is Iguide women business owners,
specifically high achievingtypes, into living with radical
trust and self-acceptance, whilealso becoming their most fully
expressed selves, so that theycan not only elevate in business
and bring true desires to life,but also live with more ecstasy
in daily life.
(01:08):
It's a good word.
Angie Colee (01:10):
I don't think I have ever heard ecstasy used in
conjunction with business Well,maybe like an illicit business,
but in this case we're nottalking about drugs, we're
talking about actual physicalecstasy.
That is a fantastic word.
What?
What got you to?
Alex Pursglove (01:23):
that word.
Yeah, it's been quite a journeyand I really did a deep dive
into using this word ecstasy andreally reflecting on if this
was a word that felt alignedwith how I describe what I do
and it really is, because, afterdoing some researching and then
also how I integrate it into myown life, I have essentially
(01:44):
three definitions of ecstasythat correlate to the three
aspects of full expression.
So when we're fully expressed,we've got our creative
expression, our sexual orsensual expression, and then our
spiritual expression.
And so when I talk about livingwith ecstasy, there's the
emotional state of joy andpassion and excitement, elation,
(02:05):
and so I believe that we feelthose things when we're in our
full creative expression.
And then there's also aspiritual state of being so
deeply connected to your highestself, to your true self, and
when you're in that kind ofconnection with who you really
are, it creates a state ofliving in ecstasy, and it's not
(02:27):
always about feeling positive orjoyful or in bliss or happiness
, but it's about being reallypresent and aligned with who you
really are and that creates anexperience of you know, this
ecstasy of being alive.
And then there's also yoursexual or sensual expression,
which includes feeling physicalecstasy when you're in your
(02:48):
pleasure.
So, to me, being reallyconnected to who you truly are,
seeing the beauty of who you are, being aligned with what you're
doing, doing what makes youpassionate, what lights you up
inside, and then also honoringyour pleasure and being
connected to your body createsthis experience of living with
ecstasy and joy and passion.
Angie Colee (03:10):
Oh, that's awesome.
You know, one thing that poppedinto my head as you were
describing all of that, and it'sso great, it's like I feel what
that feels like in my body andthe times that I can recall kind
of being in that state that'sthe word being Like I was not
thinking, I was just in themoment I was there.
Usually for me that's on stagebecause I'm a performer, so like
this is very much being.
And then when I'm on stage andI was singing with my band,
(03:31):
there were points like I don'twant to say I lost time, but I
almost lost time, like I don'teven recall being on stage.
I was just in the moment havingfun, and then I was off the
stage and I was totally trained.
Alex Pursglove (03:42):
Yes, yes, that's exactly how I'd relate to it.
It's when you're in that stateof being so fully present and in
the now, right, and so our egoreally attaches to the past and
the future and is, you know,future projecting or focusing on
, you know, what we did wrong,what we could do better, regrets
, or even just using the past todictate what's possible.
(04:03):
And when we're in that state ofecstasy, we're fully present in
the now and fully connectedwith what's actually here.
Angie Colee (04:12):
I think that's really interesting.
I mean, I've heard a lot aboutego and attachment, but I
haven't heard it phrased quitelike that, that like the ego is
constantly attached to the pastor the future.
And that's really interestingto me because I think that's
where a lot of us live, likeeither anxiety over the future
or dread or shame over the past,and it really keeps us from
actually doing the things thatwe want to do, even when we're
(04:35):
not consciously thinking ofthese things Like right, it's
just running like a program,dragging on the ram in the
background, slowing everythingdown, yeah.
Alex Pursglove (04:44):
Yeah, absolutely Well, because because all it
does know is the past, right,and so our ego is really
attached to.
It's attached to our patternsand it's attached to safety and
to the known right.
So the only way the ego has tomeasure what's safe is what it
already knows, which is itsexperience from the past.
So, when we can, can, you know,integrate with our ego, and so
(05:08):
I don't believe in making theego wrong.
Right, I think this issomething and as a high achiever
, I had this experience and alot of people I connect with we
tend to should on ourselves orshame ourselves for our ego
popping up.
It's like the pattern arises.
Then you're like no, I knowbetter than that, like I'm more
evolved, I should be moreinvolved than this right To have
this pattern showing up.
(05:28):
And when we're doing that,that's actually a form of self
rejection, because our ego ispart of us, even though it's not
, um, the deepest truth of whowe are.
It's, it's not our highest self, it's still a part of us, it's
in there, and so what itactually needs is to just be
accepted and acknowledged.
Of course you're here, ofcourse you're showing patterns
(05:49):
coming up to keep me safe, and Idon't need to let the pattern
drive anymore, because thepattern is addicted to the past.
It's using the past as its onlyexample and there's so much
more possible and here andavailable for us outside of what
we know from our past.
Angie Colee (06:09):
Oh, I love that perspective and this is.
This is such fascinating work.
Like, how did you actuallyarrive to this as your business,
as as your purpose?
Alex Pursglove (06:14):
Well, it's been quite a journey, as most people
have when we get to finallyfeeling aligned with what we're
really doing.
So for me, let me actually goback to the first experience,
Angie, and this is a little bitof a story.
But when I was, let's see,almost 25 years old, I was
(06:36):
living in Dallas, texas, workingin the film industry at the
time, and on the surface, I wasliving this life that had
checked a lot of boxes, thatseemed like it was exciting or
intriguing.
You know, according to myfriends and what I was sharing
with them, I was working in film, I was in this relationship
with a very successful olderentrepreneur that I had moved to
(06:58):
Dallas for, and so, on thesurface, everything looked like,
you know, it was going well.
And then, out of the blue, Iwas diagnosed with a tumor in my
pancreas tissue.
And when I received that phonecall, got this diagnosis, it's,
needless to say, I mean,completely rocked my world, and
I'm 24 and thinking how on earthdid this happen to me?
(07:20):
And so I went home that nightthat I got the diagnosis and I
fell to my knees on my bathroomfloor just sobbing, and I
started to really look at thetruth of my life and how
everything I think that's fairto say, just about everything in
my life felt very misalignedwith what I actually wanted and
who I really am.
(07:40):
And so there were things thatbecame very clear to me that
didn't matter in my life, likethe external validation I was
getting or the boxes I hadchecked, producing a film or
trying to keep growing in filmNone of that mattered to me.
There were two things that wereso clear that they mattered,
and one was feeling much moreconnected to God, to divine
(08:05):
unconditional love, and livingwhat actually felt purposeful to
me.
I knew that I had so much moreinside of me to give that I was.
I was basically an errant girlin the film industry, um, so it
might've seemed kind of sexy onthe surface to be working on
movies or TV shows.
I've underneath felt purpos,bored, underutilized.
So I wanted to use so many moreof my gifts and talents.
(08:27):
I knew that I wanted to makemore of a significant impact and
, like I said, wanted to be moreconnected to divine
unconditional love, because Irealized that I had a very hard
time actually being able toreceive that in my life because
I didn't feel worthy or goodenough for it.
And so I saw that myrelationship was completely
misaligned.
(08:47):
It was an abusive, verbally, anemotionally abusive
relationship.
I was bored in the filmindustry, all the things.
So my tumor turned out to beincredibly rare and
non-aggressive.
I ended up getting into aclinical research trial at the
National Institute of Health tohave my tumor removed.
And so, after I was recoveredfrom the surgery, cured from the
(09:08):
surgery, a few months later, Iquit the film industry.
I left my relationship, movedback home to Pittsburgh, which
is where I'm from initially, anddecided that I was going to
basically start this quest toliving my fully expressed life,
like how could I live a lifethat actually was aligned with
what I desired and that wouldlight me up and that would help
(09:28):
me own my worth from the insideout?
So that was the very beginningof this journey.
And then, a few years later, Istarted my business.
I've been through so muchtesting and experimenting and I
mean I started out as anexecutive coach and you know
just all the different thingsthat we go through right and
building a business to try tolearn where my my sweet spot was
(09:50):
and through all of my own innertransformation, work and my own
growth, I realized that what Iwas most aligned to do is to
help women who were like me, whohad a similar journey to me,
who had that pursuing all theexternal achievement, to feel
really good about yourself andrecognizing that's not it
Hitting the goals to seevalidation from other people?
(10:13):
It's not it.
Angie Colee (10:16):
It's not what's most fulfilling.
Alex Pursglove (10:18):
So yeah, so that landed me here.
Angie Colee (10:20):
So, looking at what does it actually take and look
like to live life in a way thatwe feel really amazing about who
we are and then aligned withwhat we're creating, that's so
interesting unrelated things andI just find it funny that, like
(10:42):
the podcast guest that I spoketo just before, you was talking
about the same thing likeexternal validation, not being
able to figure out what's reallywrong or misaligned in your
life and then just like settingout on this path of like
experimentation is one thingthat I wrote down and another
thing that I wrote down afterlistening to all of that was
underutilized.
How many of us are just kind ofcoasting through our lives?
(11:06):
I know I've been there feelinglike we're not doing as much as
we could be doing.
And I don't mean that in thecapitalistic you need to be
productive sense.
I mean that in the I am so good, I have so many passions, I
have so many interests andthere's so much more that I
could be doing that I'm just I'mnot.
I feel like I'm wasting away atthis day job.
To you I say come to theentrepreneurial dark side.
(11:27):
We would love to have you in.
There are cookies.
There's also anotherinteresting pattern that I
didn't know until you stated it.
I was also in the entertainmentindustry and I started in
Pittsburgh.
I got my graduate degree fromCarnegie Mellon and we had one
year in the entertainmentindustry in Pittsburgh and then
we went out to LA and I was aproduction assistant and was
(11:49):
aiming for development.
But yeah, I experienced thesame thing where people are like
Angie's living this glamorouslife off in in La La Land and I
was like Angie is in a studioteaching people how to play
minute to win it games.
It's fun and it's astonishingthat people get paid to create
games like that full time as ajob.
But like is that the glamorousred carpet lifestyle?
Alex Pursglove (12:12):
No, this still kind of makes me chuckle to this
day that my big claim to famewith my friends when I was
working in the film industry wasthat on one of the films I had
to buy Mark Wahlberg's toiletpaper for his trailer and go and
restock the toilet paperbecause it ran out.
And I remember thinking like Idon't know if this is something
to brag about with my friends,or or should I just not own up
(12:33):
to this and not share this withanybody, but which I know.
Angie Colee (12:38):
I just share it with everyone.
Alex Pursglove (12:39):
But yeah, that's .
That's the kind of errands thatI was running.
Angie Colee (12:42):
I have one too.
I was an executive assistant.
This one was at Warner Brothersand I'm like at the desk just
typing away doing something andChris Tucker from Rush Hour and
the Fifth Element he just popshis head in the door, all casual
, and goes yo, is this KevinMcCormick's office?
And I was like for everybodythat just heard, silence.
Straight on the video you'llsee that I'm just kind of like
(13:04):
blank face, I don't know what tosay, pointing in another
direction, until a much moresophisticated and self aware
assistant came along and saidright, this way, mr Tucker, I'll
show you where to go.
And I was like, oh my God, it'sa famous person.
They just showed up in myoffice.
I don't know what to do.
Yeah, yeah.
Alex Pursglove (13:23):
Isn't that so interesting, angie, how we have
that whole culture, thecelebrity culture, right, and I
experienced starstruck momentsworking in LA.
And yet it's so interesting.
Over the last few years, youknow, as I've done such a deep
study about what actuallyfulfills us in life, right, and
the secrets, right Tofulfillment, to more happiness,
and I come back to this ideathat you know the, the, the
(13:47):
things that we perpetuate in oursociety uh, hitting fame,
achieving the big goals, makinga ton of money, that this is
what's going right to fulfillyou, and so, um, well, I think a
lot of us have, um, uh, aconscious understanding that
that's not all it takes, rightto reach happiness or
fulfillment.
That conditioning still showsup in all these little ways and
(14:08):
how we're showing up in businesswith and, where I see it, with
entrepreneurs, especially asthat cycle of when I just make
more money, when I just hit thisnext level, then I can feel
good about myself, then I canrelax more than I can, you know,
um, finally take more risks,then I can create the program
that I actually want to run, andit's it's that that belief
(14:31):
system of the external resultwill finally give me permission,
right, to live my more fullyexpressed life or to feel good
about myself.
We're so conditioned away fromactually feeling good on the
journey, and this is where Ithink when I talk about, you
know, ecstasy, and why I get sopassionate about it is because
that was my whole life, waswaiting for some future
(14:53):
destination to finally make mehappy.
And this is why being diagnosedwith that tumor really was this
amazing experience of being kindof catapulted into the now,
because I didn't know how muchtime I had when I first got that
diagnosis.
I didn't have someday Island tolook to anymore because I
thought this tumor is here andit's happening now, and so it
(15:13):
made me take a really good, hardlook at my life at 24 in a way,
you know, I think a lot of 24year olds aren't exploring but
it made me stop and say like I'mactually miserable in my life.
Right now.
I'm checking these boxes and,you know, achieving these things
that I always thought wouldmake me happy, but I don't
actually feel good.
I felt terrible about myself.
(15:35):
It was my lowest point ofself-worth in my life and I just
wasn't fulfilled by what I wasdoing.
And so you don't, you know,have to be.
There's a scale right Frommisery to ecstasy.
But even just waiting to feelreally good about who you are
and where you are now is livingin a myth.
Angie Colee (15:56):
Yes, it's living in a myth for so many reasons.
One, because you're actuallylike putting off living, right
You're, you're telling your,your brain, you're telling
yourself, you're believing thatI don't deserve this right now
because I haven't gotten to thisstage, this invisible stage
that tells me I'm worth it.
And I had a.
A.
A similar thing.
(16:17):
I wrote about this in my book,like when I realized that I
wanted to do a long, leisurelymorning routine right.
A lot of the hyper achievers inour industry talk about get up
at four o'clock in the morningand do a cold plunge and if that
works for you, hey, no shade, Iam not a morning person and we
will not be plunging this bootayinto any ice cold water.
(16:37):
Thank you very much, um.
Alex Pursglove (16:39):
I like to get up around seven.
Angie Colee (16:41):
I like to leisurely enjoy my coffee and stare off
into space or stretch or playwith the cats or whatever the
hell comes up for a couple hoursand not people before noon.
That is like my pretty hardcorerule.
I've relaxed it to about 11,but like if I can get up at
seven and not have to talk topeople until around 11, it's
(17:02):
that's my kind of day and Ididn't do that for so long
because I had this story in myhead about someday when, exactly
like you said, we're going toplant this seed right now, If
you've got as soon as just.
You know what did I write down?
When I just do this rightSomeday, when those are your
trigger words to let you knowthat you are putting your life
on pause, maybe start to look atways that you could start
(17:24):
living right now, right whereyou are.
Alex Pursglove (17:27):
Yes, yes, because the the most powerful
thing about this, too, is notonly does it help you enjoy the
journey, which is reallyactually what is most important,
and it actually helps youcreate greater results.
I mean, there's so muchresearch and study that's been
done that shows that thathappiness is tied to
productivity, that happiness istied to success, and so success
(17:48):
that actually feels good,because how you show up on the
journey is how you experiencethe destination.
So, again, this thinking of youknow, just once I finally, you
know, get to this next level,then I'll be happy it.
It doesn't just magically shiftyour state of being once you
hit a new result.
And this was something I wasactually just talking with one
(18:09):
of my clients about the otherday, because she had hit just
milestone after milestone in herbusiness and again, checking
off all the boxes, right Likeshe started adding team members,
she had surpassed six figuresin revenue, she was just doing
all the things that she thoughtwould make her happy in her
(18:29):
business.
And yet she said I'd hit thispoint where I realized, no
matter what I achieved, it wasnever enough, because how she
was showing up on the journeywas that it wasn't good enough
yet, and her whole viewpoint wasaround looking for the gaps,
the gaps, the gaps, the gaps,right, what still isn't enough
yet, what still needs to beimproved, and that's, that's,
(18:50):
the dark side of the highachiever right.
Angie Colee (18:52):
As the okay.
Alex Pursglove (18:52):
Well, I always see room for improvements.
I'm always focusing on what Icould be doing better.
And really, when, when you'rein that kind of mentality,
consistently the subconsciousmessage you're sending to
yourself is I'm not enough yet,I'm not enough yet, I'm not
enough yet until I hit this nextlevel.
And so when she and I looked atreally this, this biggest shift
(19:13):
, it was the most significantthing she and I did.
Almost I'd say 75% of ourefforts together were around
removing self-judgment, removingthe judgment that it wasn't
good, and focusing instead onradical acceptance, because
radical acceptance is the portalto trust.
It's the portal to feeling goodright now on the journey.
(19:34):
It's not about getting all theexternal things perfect and all
the circumstances perfect.
It's about you owning how youare, imperfectly perfect.
You owning right that who youare right now today is good
enough, and so we focused onthat one shift.
You know right that who you areright now today is good enough,
and so we focused on that oneshift.
You know, just removing thatjudgment.
And it was amazing to see how,not only did her inner world
(19:54):
experience change, where shesaid I'm starting to actually
feel happy during my days, I'mtaking more walks, I'm slowing
down, I'm creating more space,I'm enjoying myself, I'm present
with my kids, I'm enjoying timewith them in ways I used to
always feel stressed, like Istill had all this stuff to do,
and so she was also or not onlyexperiencing more joy regularly.
(20:15):
But then she increased herbusiness revenue top line
revenue by 70% in under a year.
I mean, it was unbelievable.
I had this incredible growth inher business and she didn't
even have to do a lot morethings right, she just had to
shift.
Her state was the mostsignificant shift.
So you can tell I'm passionateabout this topic because I
(20:36):
really believe all of us deserveto feel good about who we are
now and to see the beauty in whowe are now, cause we so often
look for what's not what needsto change and what's not good
enough yet.
Angie Colee (20:48):
Oh yeah, and two things came up for me when you
were talking about that.
One was yeah, there was a shiftthat I made too, and I'm I'm
grateful to have a best friendin my life of over 20 years.
We met in college and have beenfriends ever since, and one day
I don't even remember whatbrought this out, I just
remember how much this just likeimpacted me at a soul, at a
cellular level right, we justmade a rule.
(21:09):
I can't talk to me, I can'ttalk to myself in a way that my
best friend would not talk to me.
So like if I'm coming to mybest friend and saying, oh my
gosh, I'm miserable, I made thismistake, I screwed up.
My best friend is going to comeback to me and be like oh honey
, you get to be human, you getto do this, it's okay, you know
a solution.
Have you been in a situationlike this before?
Why don't we put our headstogether and brainstorm a way
(21:30):
out of this?
Right, that's how my bestfriend is going to approach me,
whereas inside my own head, itsounds a little bit like you
piece of shit.
Why can't you just get ittogether?
What the hell is wrong with you?
Why do you keep failing right?
We use ourselves as a punchingbag, and so my life has
drastically improved since Iinstituted that rule of I have
to treat myself like somebody Igive a damn about, like somebody
(21:51):
I want a good relationship with, because somebody that I care
about I would never approachthem.
On a day I'm starting to getlike a little teary eyed saying
this, like, if you're depressed,if you feel like you messed up,
if you are super upset and yougo to your best friend and they
go, what the hell is wrong withyou?
Why did you do that?
Are you going to be bestfriends with that person for
much longer?
Are you going to trust exactlywhat you said?
(22:13):
Are you going to trust thatperson?
No, so don't do that toyourself.
And then the other thing thatcame up for me was how you show
up is how you experience success.
You experience success.
Just talk about another pattern,because when I was starting to
investigate my money stories,right, having grown up the
eldest of three kids with asingle mom, there was a lot of
(22:33):
struggle, right, and I had a lotof money narratives in my head
and somebody said to me once youknow who you are now will only
be amplified when you achievethat wealth.
So if you are stingy, if youdon't give now, that's exactly
who you're going to be whenyou're rich.
If you are generous and yougive now and you support people,
now, that's who you're going tobe when you're rich.
(22:54):
Don't meet yourself somedaywhen.
Meet yourself now.
And I just thought, gosh, Ihave to tell Alex this.
I have to tell her.
Alex Pursglove (23:09):
So good.
Yes, it amplifies who you arealready being a hundred percent,
and that's why, if you'reshowing up in that pattern of
it's not enough.
Yet I remember thinking thiswhen I first started my business
.
You know it took me my firstfour years in business.
I think I made under $60,000.
It was like I was grinding itout, trying to figure things out
, like doing a ton ofexperimenting and testing.
My background was in film andnonprofit, so I knew nothing
about sales and marketing or, um, or really the operations of
(23:31):
running a business, Um.
So I did a ton of experimentingand so at that time I remember
thinking, oh my gosh, surpassingeven six figures in revenue
would feel like you know, thishuge leap forward.
And I thought, oh, once I hitthat, I'll never worry about
money again, I'll never bestressed about money again.
Angie Colee (23:49):
And then um, I left for young, naive, aspirational
us that don't understand howfast six figures go.
That's me sending all the loveto all of us.
Yeah.
Alex Pursglove (24:00):
Yeah, we I feel like every business owner has
been there right At some pointjust about um.
And so, yeah, at the time Ithought that would just solve
all my problems.
And then, um, when I hired myfirst business and
transformation coach, itcompletely rocked my world,
changed my life.
I took this huge leap of faithto make this significant
investment, uh, to work with her, and over the next year and a
(24:23):
half I 10 X my business growthand so I was making more money
than I have ever made in my lifeand I started doing workshops
for women around the country.
I was running group programs.
I just had this huge elevationin my business.
And I remember specificallydoing this one launch where,
again, made more money than I'dever made before, just in this
(24:45):
one launch.
And I sat down with my husbandthat night we were actually
pregnant with my daughter, so hegot me a sparkling grapefruit
juice to toast this launch.
And I remember saying to him Ifeel like I should be so
ecstatic.
I feel like I should, I shouldbe so happy right now.
This is amazing.
And my head knew it was amazing.
(25:07):
My head knew it was a lot ofmoney.
My head knew these new clientswere going to be wonderful and
that and that this was asuccessful launch.
And I said, but inside I feellike, but why wasn't it a six
figure launch?
It was more money than I'd evermade before in a launch, but
why isn't it a six figure launch?
(25:27):
It's not enough.
Yet I got to figure out what Igot to do better and in that
moment was the first time Ithink I really stopped and
realized, wow, I've beenteaching about living in
enoughness and enjoying thejourney.
I've been teaching it from myhead.
My head knows how to enjoy thejourney, but inside I still
don't feel it.
Yeah, and it wasn't embodiedheart knowledge yet.
(25:50):
And I can look back at that,angie, and say it's, that's okay
, that's not a wrong experience.
I personally think we all kindof have to go through or most of
us have to go through thisjourney of creating the bigger
results, hitting the biggergoals, like creating the
achievement, to realize frompersonal experience that it's so
much more than that, that thatembodied experience of
(26:12):
enoughness.
Um is the path to greaterfulfillment.
But it's like we have to proveto ourselves that we can hit the
big goals.
So then we can see there's more.
Angie Colee (26:23):
Absolutely, and I find that I've had this
conversation with so many otherentrepreneurs too.
It's interesting, and I findthat I've had this conversation
with so many other entrepreneurstoo.
It's interesting, and this issomething that I'm passionate
about too, because if you're inthe early stages, you have to be
careful who you're talkingabout your dreams with.
Right, I can't share witheverybody what you just shared.
Why wasn't this a six figurelaunch?
I'm let down, which is atotally valid feeling.
(26:45):
It is attached to somethingthat I made up that's tied to
feelings of self-worth, but it'sstill a valid feeling and, like
the last guest, we were talkingabout examining feelings right,
when you reject the feeling,that's when that stuff just
keeps roiling underneath thesurface and driving the bus
right Without you being aware ofit.
So you've got to acknowledgethat.
What better place to do thatthan with other entrepreneurs
(27:05):
who get the fact that, like well, that was a $99,000 launch.
I'm a little bit disappointed.
It wasn't a hundred thousanddollar launch.
I mean, don't get me wrong, I'mgrateful that it was 99,000.
Like, woohoo, I understandobjectively, like with the
perspective that I'm doingbetter than a lot of people, and
I'm still allowed to bedisappointed that I didn't hit
(27:25):
this arbitrary goal that I setfor myself.
Alex Pursglove (27:29):
Yes, well, it goes back to what we were saying
at the beginning about notmaking your ego wrong, not
making it wrong.
You know, you mentioned aboutum you think of when the harsh
thoughts come up.
You'll think about how you talkto a friend.
Um, since I became a mom, thishas been huge for me.
My daughter is such anincredible teacher she's two and
a half and, um, actually almostthree, uh now.
So she's incredible teacher andI'll think about how, when my
(27:54):
daughter is disappointed or whenshe has a tantrum, um, you know
, when I was growing up, I wastaught stop the tantrum, stop it
like behave, behave, get overit, you're fine.
You're crying Like, don't cry,don't cry, you're fine.
Um, I think many of us receivedthat kind of conditioning as
kids and what I've come to learnand experience and see now is
that she just needs acceptance.
She just needs love andacceptance.
She doesn't have impulsecontrol.
(28:15):
Tantrums are normal.
It's a healthy expression offrustration and feeling of being
out of control for a two tothree-year-old and so when she
has a tantrum, when she feelsdisappointed or frustrated, it's
oh honey, you're allowed to bedisappointed.
It's okay to be disappointed.
Like, yeah, you thought youwere going to maybe talk me into
giving you a cookie beforedinner.
I understand being disappointed.
You're not getting the cookie,that's okay.
(28:37):
I'm disappointed too sometimeswhen I say no to cookies.
It's okay.
You're a human, human emotionhave experiences.
We're meant to experiencenegative emotion, just like
we're meant to experiencepositive emotion, because if we
don't experience the negative,we can't know the positive.
It's the universal law ofpolarity, right?
Everything has an equal andopposite.
You have to be able toexperience the downs to
(28:59):
experience the ups, and it's thesame with rage and passion
being on the same neural pathway.
If you can't feel rage andanger, impassioned, being on the
same neural pathway.
If you can't feel rage andanger, you can't feel the extent
of passion, and this is why,when I talk about living with
ecstasy, I really stress thispoint that living a life of
ecstasy is about feeling socompletely alive and owning that
(29:21):
.
I get to feel these emotions, Iget to feel disappointed that I
didn't have the big launch andyou know what?
There's probably something inthis for me, there's something
to look at, there's something Ican tweak with my launch, that I
can get more aligned.
There's probably ways I amblocking myself from making the
money that matches me.
And, oh, I'm allowed to alsofeel really good and standard
(29:44):
enoughness that this launch isexactly how it was supposed to
be, and it's amazing that I'vecreated the lead created and
that I got to work with theseclients right.
So it's holding that duality ofboth and that's what creates
feeling alive, is being presentwith what's here.
Angie Colee (30:02):
I love that.
I love that you brought up thatpolarity too, because the
thought that popped up into myhead, to circle back to that,
was you mentioned rage andpassion being on the same
spectrum.
I heard that it triggered thisquote, that I heard the
difference between I'mparaphrasing a little bit but
the difference betweenexcitement and fear is the
breath, and I went yeah, oh, oh,I can when I'm terrified of
(30:25):
this thing I'm about to do and Iam, you know, spiraling on all
of the ways that this could gowrong and I might humiliate
myself.
What if I just focused on thebreath and turned that into
excitement of like, here's agrand experiment.
What are we about to getourselves into?
Alex Pursglove (30:40):
Yes, yes, you know, I love that quote, I
actually.
So I just had a session with aclient last week where we were
working through some discomfortthat she feels when she feels
anxiety or fear in her body, andwe looked at it and looked at
how, when you can separate thestory about it and the judgment
about it and just pause and saywhat am I actually feeling?
(31:02):
What are the sensations in mybody right now?
And it was, oh, like some, sometingling, some, you know,
flipping stomach, like some,some like swaying motion, like
in her body, and you know justfeeling that energy, right.
And when we stop and look atwhat if the emotion and the
sensation just is, what if it'snot right or wrong, it just is,
that's just what you're feeling?
And then you can look at okay,is the sensation?
(31:26):
Is it pleasurable or notpleasurable?
Sure, there's some sensations,right, that feel good or that
don't feel as good.
And when you can remove thestory, you get to decide if it's
fear or excitement.
The fear or excitement is basedon the story that you tell
yourself.
So so often we feel fear, we'rejust having a physical reaction
in our body.
Our body is conditioned, ournervous system knows like.
(31:46):
For me, I tend to get theflippy stomach or the tight knot
in my stomach, but I feel fearand excitement through my
stomach.
When I'm excited, I feel this,the same energy, but it's about
if.
Am I focusing on, you know,embracing the unknown and what I
get to create and, you know,bringing my expression out into
the world, or am I worryingabout what could go wrong?
(32:06):
And it's the story I'm tellingmyself that creates fear,
excitement or anger or passion.
Angie Colee (32:13):
They're all connected.
What you were talking aboutbeing present, being in your
body.
What I came to the conclusionof and like this is my amateur
(32:34):
diagnosis was I could never bein flow state as long as I was
in my head thinking about what Iwas doing.
Like, being in my head thinkingabout what I was doing, I was
always a few like minutes behindor a few minutes ahead of what
I'm actually doing because I'mkind of analyzing it.
So everything's not in themoment, it's not instinctual,
it's overthought, it's overcalculated, almost even though
it's happening super quickly.
And the times that people havetold me that, like they were
(32:57):
blown away by my performance,were what I told you about that.
I can't remember being on stage.
I don't really.
I remember getting off stagethat night and people going oh
my God, that was great.
But I don't remember being onstage.
I don't really.
I remember getting off stagethat night and people going oh
my God, that was great.
But I don't remember being inthe moment other than this, just
the joy of performing, and Ithink that's the beauty of just
like allowing yourself to be.
I don't know where I was goingwith that thought, but it came
up so.
Alex Pursglove (33:21):
No, I love it.
I mean that's.
I think the essence of whatwe're talking about is your
beingness, right, and that'sreally been.
I think the most transformativelesson for me, in my life as
well, is, you know, I talkedabout making this 10x leap a few
years ago.
It was the first time fromworking with this mentor that I
came to really understand thatyour success in business, I'd
say, is probably about 20 to 25percent what you do and 70 to
(33:44):
75% who you be, or 80, sorry, to75% who you be.
So how you're showing up, howyou're thinking, how you're
connected to your intuition, howyou're connected to your body I
mean, our body is an incrediblypowerful guide, right.
Our body has incredible wisdom.
Our intuition is so powerfulit's always guiding us towards
more expansion.
Our intuition is so powerfulit's always guiding us towards
(34:04):
more expansion, towards ourdesires, towards opportunity,
towards growth.
I mean, our intuition alwaysknows exactly what we need,
always knows exactly what weneed.
So when you're tapped into yourintuition, when you're trusting
in yourself the unknown, whenyou're cutting out the people
pleasing the approval, seekingthe validation from other people
right, and really operatingfrom your own compass and
(34:27):
letting your most authenticself-expression be heard and
witnessed.
That's when you experiencequantum leaps.
That's when everything changes,when you accelerate your
results in a way that feels good.
Angie Colee (34:40):
Wow, yes, I love that.
I'm passionate about thisbecause I feel like I also
artificially held myself backfor a long time, like, in many
ways, this podcast is when wetalk about coaching our younger
selves.
Right, this is me talking to ayounger Angie going yes, you
have permission to do what youwant to do, even if it doesn't
make sense to the people aroundyou.
You have permission to followyour heart, to be your authentic
(35:02):
self.
You have permission to followyour heart, to be your authentic
self.
There's a time, five, 10 yearsago, like I'm holding up my hair
now that is bright, purple andred I wouldn't have dreamed of
doing this because I thought Iwould scare people away.
This is the beacon right herethat brings people into my world
who go I love your hair, I loveit, I love your hair.
What color is that?
And then now we're relating ona completely different level
(35:24):
from so what do you do forbusiness?
Oh, I do this.
Here's my 30 second elevatorpitch blah, blah, blah.
Gag me Right.
Alex Pursglove (35:32):
I love what you just said about your red hair
and like that, that owning yourauthentic self-expression.
And if I can share this onestory cause it's a recent story
actually, but you know I lovethat this is that your whole
podcast is around conversationright and real conversation, and
so I'd love to share thispersonal experience I had that,
I think, was really such adeepening in me understanding
(35:56):
this practice that I've beenbelieving in and living by.
But when I experienced it, itjust took it to a whole new
level, and so it was just thispast fall I was invited to speak
in an event that focused onsharing ideas through personal
storytelling.
It's called the platform'scalled Speak, a great
up-and-coming platform tosupport speakers and their
(36:18):
personal stories, and so therewere short talks and as I was
preparing mine, I was stuck fora little bit.
I thought, okay, I knew thegeneral idea, but I couldn't
really find the essence of mystory yet and what I wanted to
share, and so I was wrestlingwith it a little bit, and then
one day I finally I got by attime and I sat down and just
(36:39):
really connected to my heart andwhere it was guiding me, and
all of a sudden this idea cameup that I wanted to share about
my experience in childhood andgrowing up in an angry home and
how I personally experienced myfather yelling at me when I was
a little girl, and so this ideacame up and then I thought, oh
wait, but I've never talkedabout that publicly before.
I've talked about it withclients and in small groups, but
(37:01):
I've never done it on a.
This talk is going to be onYouTube.
You know, I've never done it ona public platform.
And so I realized, if I wasgoing to share the story, that I
would need to talk to my dadand tell him that I was going to
share this, and that brought upI mean, my people, pleaser,
went crazy it was like, oh mygosh, what's my family going to
think?
What will he say?
My dad and I have never talkedabout this before.
How is he going to react?
(37:21):
Am I, you know, a bad daughter,all the things?
And then I stopped and thoughtokay, I'm allowed to have all
that fear.
And what's my highest self,what's my intuition guiding me
to?
My intuition is screaming, butit wants to tell the story, and
I believed it would be inservice to my my people, cause I
know a lot of women I work withhave had this experience of
(37:41):
having anger in their homes.
And so, um, I decided to havethis conversation with my dad
and to tell him that I was goingto share the story, and it took
a little bit, you know, we hadto talk about it a little bit.
It was a surprise for himbecause we had never talked
about its effects on me, buttowards the end, he was able to
receive what I was saying andactually ended up apologizing
(38:02):
for how it affected me.
It was this beautiful, healingconversation where I felt like I
got to show up with realcompassion, because I made it a
point not to bring in peoplepleasing, not to need his
approval for it, but to simplytell him you know and share my
experience and really to own.
It wasn't about him, it wasabout my experience.
So we had this beautifulconversation and then I
(38:26):
committed myself to just livingin that truth that this would be
in highest service to all.
So when you follow yourintuition, when you follow your
desires in highest service toeverybody so I committed to that
, I did.
The talk felt amazing about thetalk, had some incredible
things happen from that, butwhat was most powerful was that
three weeks later my dad had aheart attack and went into
cardiac arrest and a month laterhe passed away.
(39:00):
And my very first thought when Igot the call to go to the
hospital and heard that he had aheart attack was that I was so
grateful that I got to have thatconversation with him.
I didn't know how theconversation would turn out, but
it ended up being this, thisfeeling of closure with my dad,
that I got to actually talk tohim about my experience as a kid
and have him apologize and haveme forgive him.
And it was the very firstthought I had and to this day I
share it and it gives megoosebumps because I thought
(39:22):
when I had that inspiration todo that talk.
I was thinking about how it wasgoing to serve my audience and
okay, well, it would serve them.
And now I see it was so inservice to me and my family and
my relationship with my dadright before he passed.
And so, like I said, it wasthis experience of just taking
that knowledge deeper into, thisembodied knowing your intuition
(39:46):
never steers you.
So, letting that guide you, themore you can remove all the
thoughts, the approval seekingthoughts, what other people
think you should do thecomparisons, thinking you have
to do it like everybody else andfollow your own inner compass.
It will create just the mostpowerful opportunities in your
life.
Angie Colee (40:05):
I'm just like letting that sit for a second
because that just feels likesuch a mic drop, like thank you
for sharing that with us, like Ican feel the emotion and the
spirit from here and that justfeels like the perfect note to
wrap on Just trust yourself.
Your intuition doesn't steeryou wrong.
These things are working foryou Well.
(40:27):
Thank you for being such anincredible guest.
This is making my heart feel sogood, so happy, so smiley today
.
I really appreciate you.
Tell us more about where we canlearn how to work with you.
See your speeches all of it.
Alex Pursglove (40:39):
Thank you, angie .
Well, I'll start with.
I have a gift to offer youraudience.
It's my ebook on radical trusta woman's guide to manifesting
true desires, joy and passion.
So it gets a lot deeper intothese concepts of how you can
connect to yourself, yourintuition, and really trust
yourself in a greater way.
So that's at alexpersklovecombackslash radical trust.
(40:59):
You can also find me atalexpersklovecom and I love to
connect with people.
I'm all about authentic humanconnections.
So anyone who just has athought, an insight, a story, a
question from this podcast, Ilove to get to know people.
So you can find me online onsocial media.
I'm sure there will be links inthe show notes.
Just send me a message.
(41:20):
I'd love to hear what resonatedwith you from this conversation
.
Angie Colee (41:23):
Love it, love it, love it.
And look if you're hesitatingand wondering, is she talking to
me?
Yes, yes, if you feel called torespond, if you feel called to
reach out, do not talk yourselfout of it.
Practice trusting thatintuition right now.
Go click on the show link.
There's going to be clickablelinks in the show notes.
Go click on those.
Reach out, say what you need tosay and trust.
(41:43):
Oh, I love it.
Thank you so much for being onthe show.
I appreciate you.
Thank you, angie.
Alex Pursglove (41:48):
So enjoyed it.
Angie Colee (41:52):
That's all for now.
If you want to keep thatkick-ass energy high, please
take a minute to share thisepisode with someone that might
need a high-octane dose of youcan do it.
Don't forget to rate, reviewand subscribe to the Permission
to Kick-Ass podcast on ApplePodcasts, spotify and wherever
you stream your podcasts.
I'm your host, angie Coley, andI'm here rooting for you.
Thanks for listening and let'sgo kick some ass.
Welcome to Permission to Kick Ass, the show
that gives you a virtual seatat the bar for the real
conversations that happenbetween entrepreneurs.
I'm interviewing all kinds ofbusiness owners, from those just
a few years into freelancing toCEOs helming nine-figure
companies.
If you've ever worried thateveryone else just seems to get
it and you're missing somethingor messing things up, this show
(00:24):
is for you.
I'm your host, angie Coley, andlet's get to it.
Hey, and welcome back toPermission to Kick Ass.
With me today is my new friend,alex Purseglove.
Say hi, hi, everybody.
We were spending a whole lot oftime talking about setting up
(00:44):
recording environments and stufflike that.
We almost forgot to hit record.
So tell us a little bit aboutyour business.
Alex Pursglove (00:47):
Yeah, happy to dive right in with that.
So what I essentially do is Iguide women business owners,
specifically high achievingtypes, into living with radical
trust and self-acceptance, whilealso becoming their most fully
expressed selves, so that theycan not only elevate in business
and bring true desires to life,but also live with more ecstasy
in daily life.
(01:08):
It's a good word.
Angie Colee (01:10):
I don't think I have ever heard ecstasy used in
conjunction with business Well,maybe like an illicit business,
but in this case we're nottalking about drugs, we're
talking about actual physicalecstasy.
That is a fantastic word.
What?
What got you to?
Alex Pursglove (01:23):
that word.
Yeah, it's been quite a journeyand I really did a deep dive
into using this word ecstasy andreally reflecting on if this
was a word that felt alignedwith how I describe what I do
and it really is, because, afterdoing some researching and then
also how I integrate it into myown life, I have essentially
(01:44):
three definitions of ecstasythat correlate to the three
aspects of full expression.
So when we're fully expressed,we've got our creative
expression, our sexual orsensual expression, and then our
spiritual expression.
And so when I talk about livingwith ecstasy, there's the
emotional state of joy andpassion and excitement, elation,
(02:05):
and so I believe that we feelthose things when we're in our
full creative expression.
And then there's also aspiritual state of being so
deeply connected to your highestself, to your true self, and
when you're in that kind ofconnection with who you really
are, it creates a state ofliving in ecstasy, and it's not
(02:27):
always about feeling positive orjoyful or in bliss or happiness
, but it's about being reallypresent and aligned with who you
really are and that creates anexperience of you know, this
ecstasy of being alive.
And then there's also yoursexual or sensual expression,
which includes feeling physicalecstasy when you're in your
(02:48):
pleasure.
So, to me, being reallyconnected to who you truly are,
seeing the beauty of who you are, being aligned with what you're
doing, doing what makes youpassionate, what lights you up
inside, and then also honoringyour pleasure and being
connected to your body createsthis experience of living with
ecstasy and joy and passion.
Angie Colee (03:10):
Oh, that's awesome.
You know, one thing that poppedinto my head as you were
describing all of that, and it'sso great, it's like I feel what
that feels like in my body andthe times that I can recall kind
of being in that state that'sthe word being Like I was not
thinking, I was just in themoment I was there.
Usually for me that's on stagebecause I'm a performer, so like
this is very much being.
And then when I'm on stage andI was singing with my band,
(03:31):
there were points like I don'twant to say I lost time, but I
almost lost time, like I don'teven recall being on stage.
I was just in the moment havingfun, and then I was off the
stage and I was totally trained.
Alex Pursglove (03:42):
Yes, yes, that's exactly how I'd relate to it.
It's when you're in that stateof being so fully present and in
the now, right, and so our egoreally attaches to the past and
the future and is, you know,future projecting or focusing on
, you know, what we did wrong,what we could do better, regrets
, or even just using the past todictate what's possible.
(04:03):
And when we're in that state ofecstasy, we're fully present in
the now and fully connectedwith what's actually here.
Angie Colee (04:12):
I think that's really interesting.
I mean, I've heard a lot aboutego and attachment, but I
haven't heard it phrased quitelike that, that like the ego is
constantly attached to the pastor the future.
And that's really interestingto me because I think that's
where a lot of us live, likeeither anxiety over the future
or dread or shame over the past,and it really keeps us from
actually doing the things thatwe want to do, even when we're
(04:35):
not consciously thinking ofthese things Like right, it's
just running like a program,dragging on the ram in the
background, slowing everythingdown, yeah.
Alex Pursglove (04:44):
Yeah, absolutely Well, because because all it
does know is the past, right,and so our ego is really
attached to.
It's attached to our patternsand it's attached to safety and
to the known right.
So the only way the ego has tomeasure what's safe is what it
already knows, which is itsexperience from the past.
So, when we can, can, you know,integrate with our ego, and so
(05:08):
I don't believe in making theego wrong.
Right, I think this issomething and as a high achiever
, I had this experience and alot of people I connect with we
tend to should on ourselves orshame ourselves for our ego
popping up.
It's like the pattern arises.
Then you're like no, I knowbetter than that, like I'm more
evolved, I should be moreinvolved than this right To have
this pattern showing up.
(05:28):
And when we're doing that,that's actually a form of self
rejection, because our ego ispart of us, even though it's not
, um, the deepest truth of whowe are.
It's, it's not our highest self, it's still a part of us, it's
in there, and so what itactually needs is to just be
accepted and acknowledged.
Of course you're here, ofcourse you're showing patterns
(05:49):
coming up to keep me safe, and Idon't need to let the pattern
drive anymore, because thepattern is addicted to the past.
It's using the past as its onlyexample and there's so much
more possible and here andavailable for us outside of what
we know from our past.
Angie Colee (06:09):
Oh, I love that perspective and this is.
This is such fascinating work.
Like, how did you actuallyarrive to this as your business,
as as your purpose?
Alex Pursglove (06:14):
Well, it's been quite a journey, as most people
have when we get to finallyfeeling aligned with what we're
really doing.
So for me, let me actually goback to the first experience,
Angie, and this is a little bitof a story.
But when I was, let's see,almost 25 years old, I was
(06:36):
living in Dallas, texas, workingin the film industry at the
time, and on the surface, I wasliving this life that had
checked a lot of boxes, thatseemed like it was exciting or
intriguing.
You know, according to myfriends and what I was sharing
with them, I was working in film, I was in this relationship
with a very successful olderentrepreneur that I had moved to
(06:58):
Dallas for, and so, on thesurface, everything looked like,
you know, it was going well.
And then, out of the blue, Iwas diagnosed with a tumor in my
pancreas tissue.
And when I received that phonecall, got this diagnosis, it's,
needless to say, I mean,completely rocked my world, and
I'm 24 and thinking how on earthdid this happen to me?
(07:20):
And so I went home that nightthat I got the diagnosis and I
fell to my knees on my bathroomfloor just sobbing, and I
started to really look at thetruth of my life and how
everything I think that's fairto say, just about everything in
my life felt very misalignedwith what I actually wanted and
who I really am.
(07:40):
And so there were things thatbecame very clear to me that
didn't matter in my life, likethe external validation I was
getting or the boxes I hadchecked, producing a film or
trying to keep growing in filmNone of that mattered to me.
There were two things that wereso clear that they mattered,
and one was feeling much moreconnected to God, to divine
(08:05):
unconditional love, and livingwhat actually felt purposeful to
me.
I knew that I had so much moreinside of me to give that I was.
I was basically an errant girlin the film industry, um, so it
might've seemed kind of sexy onthe surface to be working on
movies or TV shows.
I've underneath felt purpos,bored, underutilized.
So I wanted to use so many moreof my gifts and talents.
(08:27):
I knew that I wanted to makemore of a significant impact and
, like I said, wanted to be moreconnected to divine
unconditional love, because Irealized that I had a very hard
time actually being able toreceive that in my life because
I didn't feel worthy or goodenough for it.
And so I saw that myrelationship was completely
misaligned.
(08:47):
It was an abusive, verbally, anemotionally abusive
relationship.
I was bored in the filmindustry, all the things.
So my tumor turned out to beincredibly rare and
non-aggressive.
I ended up getting into aclinical research trial at the
National Institute of Health tohave my tumor removed.
And so, after I was recoveredfrom the surgery, cured from the
(09:08):
surgery, a few months later, Iquit the film industry.
I left my relationship, movedback home to Pittsburgh, which
is where I'm from initially, anddecided that I was going to
basically start this quest toliving my fully expressed life,
like how could I live a lifethat actually was aligned with
what I desired and that wouldlight me up and that would help
(09:28):
me own my worth from the insideout?
So that was the very beginningof this journey.
And then, a few years later, Istarted my business.
I've been through so muchtesting and experimenting and I
mean I started out as anexecutive coach and you know
just all the different thingsthat we go through right and
building a business to try tolearn where my my sweet spot was
(09:50):
and through all of my own innertransformation, work and my own
growth, I realized that what Iwas most aligned to do is to
help women who were like me, whohad a similar journey to me,
who had that pursuing all theexternal achievement, to feel
really good about yourself andrecognizing that's not it
Hitting the goals to seevalidation from other people?
(10:13):
It's not it.
Angie Colee (10:16):
It's not what's most fulfilling.
Alex Pursglove (10:18):
So yeah, so that landed me here.
Angie Colee (10:20):
So, looking at what does it actually take and look
like to live life in a way thatwe feel really amazing about who
we are and then aligned withwhat we're creating, that's so
interesting unrelated things andI just find it funny that, like
(10:42):
the podcast guest that I spoketo just before, you was talking
about the same thing likeexternal validation, not being
able to figure out what's reallywrong or misaligned in your
life and then just like settingout on this path of like
experimentation is one thingthat I wrote down and another
thing that I wrote down afterlistening to all of that was
underutilized.
How many of us are just kind ofcoasting through our lives?
(11:06):
I know I've been there feelinglike we're not doing as much as
we could be doing.
And I don't mean that in thecapitalistic you need to be
productive sense.
I mean that in the I am so good, I have so many passions, I
have so many interests andthere's so much more that I
could be doing that I'm just I'mnot.
I feel like I'm wasting away atthis day job.
To you I say come to theentrepreneurial dark side.
(11:27):
We would love to have you in.
There are cookies.
There's also anotherinteresting pattern that I
didn't know until you stated it.
I was also in the entertainmentindustry and I started in
Pittsburgh.
I got my graduate degree fromCarnegie Mellon and we had one
year in the entertainmentindustry in Pittsburgh and then
we went out to LA and I was aproduction assistant and was
(11:49):
aiming for development.
But yeah, I experienced thesame thing where people are like
Angie's living this glamorouslife off in in La La Land and I
was like Angie is in a studioteaching people how to play
minute to win it games.
It's fun and it's astonishingthat people get paid to create
games like that full time as ajob.
But like is that the glamorousred carpet lifestyle?
Alex Pursglove (12:12):
No, this still kind of makes me chuckle to this
day that my big claim to famewith my friends when I was
working in the film industry wasthat on one of the films I had
to buy Mark Wahlberg's toiletpaper for his trailer and go and
restock the toilet paperbecause it ran out.
And I remember thinking like Idon't know if this is something
to brag about with my friends,or or should I just not own up
(12:33):
to this and not share this withanybody, but which I know.
Angie Colee (12:38):
I just share it with everyone.
Alex Pursglove (12:39):
But yeah, that's .
That's the kind of errands thatI was running.
Angie Colee (12:42):
I have one too.
I was an executive assistant.
This one was at Warner Brothersand I'm like at the desk just
typing away doing something andChris Tucker from Rush Hour and
the Fifth Element he just popshis head in the door, all casual
, and goes yo, is this KevinMcCormick's office?
And I was like for everybodythat just heard, silence.
Straight on the video you'llsee that I'm just kind of like
(13:04):
blank face, I don't know what tosay, pointing in another
direction, until a much moresophisticated and self aware
assistant came along and saidright, this way, mr Tucker, I'll
show you where to go.
And I was like, oh my God, it'sa famous person.
They just showed up in myoffice.
I don't know what to do.
Yeah, yeah.
Alex Pursglove (13:23):
Isn't that so interesting, angie, how we have
that whole culture, thecelebrity culture, right, and I
experienced starstruck momentsworking in LA.
And yet it's so interesting.
Over the last few years, youknow, as I've done such a deep
study about what actuallyfulfills us in life, right, and
the secrets, right Tofulfillment, to more happiness,
and I come back to this ideathat you know the, the, the
(13:47):
things that we perpetuate in oursociety uh, hitting fame,
achieving the big goals, makinga ton of money, that this is
what's going right to fulfillyou, and so, um, well, I think a
lot of us have, um, uh, aconscious understanding that
that's not all it takes, rightto reach happiness or
fulfillment.
That conditioning still showsup in all these little ways and
(14:08):
how we're showing up in businesswith and, where I see it, with
entrepreneurs, especially asthat cycle of when I just make
more money, when I just hit thisnext level, then I can feel
good about myself, then I canrelax more than I can, you know,
um, finally take more risks,then I can create the program
that I actually want to run, andit's it's that that belief
(14:31):
system of the external resultwill finally give me permission,
right, to live my more fullyexpressed life or to feel good
about myself.
We're so conditioned away fromactually feeling good on the
journey, and this is where Ithink when I talk about, you
know, ecstasy, and why I get sopassionate about it is because
that was my whole life, waswaiting for some future
(14:53):
destination to finally make mehappy.
And this is why being diagnosedwith that tumor really was this
amazing experience of being kindof catapulted into the now,
because I didn't know how muchtime I had when I first got that
diagnosis.
I didn't have someday Island tolook to anymore because I
thought this tumor is here andit's happening now, and so it
(15:13):
made me take a really good, hardlook at my life at 24 in a way,
you know, I think a lot of 24year olds aren't exploring but
it made me stop and say like I'mactually miserable in my life.
Right now.
I'm checking these boxes and,you know, achieving these things
that I always thought wouldmake me happy, but I don't
actually feel good.
I felt terrible about myself.
(15:35):
It was my lowest point ofself-worth in my life and I just
wasn't fulfilled by what I wasdoing.
And so you don't, you know,have to be.
There's a scale right Frommisery to ecstasy.
But even just waiting to feelreally good about who you are
and where you are now is livingin a myth.
Angie Colee (15:56):
Yes, it's living in a myth for so many reasons.
One, because you're actuallylike putting off living, right
You're, you're telling your,your brain, you're telling
yourself, you're believing thatI don't deserve this right now
because I haven't gotten to thisstage, this invisible stage
that tells me I'm worth it.
And I had a.
A.
A similar thing.
(16:17):
I wrote about this in my book,like when I realized that I
wanted to do a long, leisurelymorning routine right.
A lot of the hyper achievers inour industry talk about get up
at four o'clock in the morningand do a cold plunge and if that
works for you, hey, no shade, Iam not a morning person and we
will not be plunging this bootayinto any ice cold water.
(16:37):
Thank you very much, um.
Alex Pursglove (16:39):
I like to get up around seven.
Angie Colee (16:41):
I like to leisurely enjoy my coffee and stare off
into space or stretch or playwith the cats or whatever the
hell comes up for a couple hoursand not people before noon.
That is like my pretty hardcorerule.
I've relaxed it to about 11,but like if I can get up at
seven and not have to talk topeople until around 11, it's
(17:02):
that's my kind of day and Ididn't do that for so long
because I had this story in myhead about someday when, exactly
like you said, we're going toplant this seed right now, If
you've got as soon as just.
You know what did I write down?
When I just do this rightSomeday, when those are your
trigger words to let you knowthat you are putting your life
on pause, maybe start to look atways that you could start
(17:24):
living right now, right whereyou are.
Alex Pursglove (17:27):
Yes, yes, because the the most powerful
thing about this, too, is notonly does it help you enjoy the
journey, which is reallyactually what is most important,
and it actually helps youcreate greater results.
I mean, there's so muchresearch and study that's been
done that shows that thathappiness is tied to
productivity, that happiness istied to success, and so success
(17:48):
that actually feels good,because how you show up on the
journey is how you experiencethe destination.
So, again, this thinking of youknow, just once I finally, you
know, get to this next level,then I'll be happy it.
It doesn't just magically shiftyour state of being once you
hit a new result.
And this was something I wasactually just talking with one
(18:09):
of my clients about the otherday, because she had hit just
milestone after milestone in herbusiness and again, checking
off all the boxes, right Likeshe started adding team members,
she had surpassed six figuresin revenue, she was just doing
all the things that she thoughtwould make her happy in her
(18:29):
business.
And yet she said I'd hit thispoint where I realized, no
matter what I achieved, it wasnever enough, because how she
was showing up on the journeywas that it wasn't good enough
yet, and her whole viewpoint wasaround looking for the gaps,
the gaps, the gaps, the gaps,right, what still isn't enough
yet, what still needs to beimproved, and that's, that's,
(18:50):
the dark side of the highachiever right.
Angie Colee (18:52):
As the okay.
Alex Pursglove (18:52):
Well, I always see room for improvements.
I'm always focusing on what Icould be doing better.
And really, when, when you'rein that kind of mentality,
consistently the subconsciousmessage you're sending to
yourself is I'm not enough yet,I'm not enough yet, I'm not
enough yet until I hit this nextlevel.
And so when she and I looked atreally this, this biggest shift
(19:13):
, it was the most significantthing she and I did.
Almost I'd say 75% of ourefforts together were around
removing self-judgment, removingthe judgment that it wasn't
good, and focusing instead onradical acceptance, because
radical acceptance is the portalto trust.
It's the portal to feeling goodright now on the journey.
(19:34):
It's not about getting all theexternal things perfect and all
the circumstances perfect.
It's about you owning how youare, imperfectly perfect.
You owning right that who youare right now today is good
enough, and so we focused onthat one shift.
You know right that who you areright now today is good enough,
and so we focused on that oneshift.
You know, just removing thatjudgment.
And it was amazing to see how,not only did her inner world
(19:54):
experience change, where shesaid I'm starting to actually
feel happy during my days, I'mtaking more walks, I'm slowing
down, I'm creating more space,I'm enjoying myself, I'm present
with my kids, I'm enjoying timewith them in ways I used to
always feel stressed, like Istill had all this stuff to do,
and so she was also or not onlyexperiencing more joy regularly.
(20:15):
But then she increased herbusiness revenue top line
revenue by 70% in under a year.
I mean, it was unbelievable.
I had this incredible growth inher business and she didn't
even have to do a lot morethings right, she just had to
shift.
Her state was the mostsignificant shift.
So you can tell I'm passionateabout this topic because I
(20:36):
really believe all of us deserveto feel good about who we are
now and to see the beauty in whowe are now, cause we so often
look for what's not what needsto change and what's not good
enough yet.
Angie Colee (20:48):
Oh yeah, and two things came up for me when you
were talking about that.
One was yeah, there was a shiftthat I made too, and I'm I'm
grateful to have a best friendin my life of over 20 years.
We met in college and have beenfriends ever since, and one day
I don't even remember whatbrought this out, I just
remember how much this just likeimpacted me at a soul, at a
cellular level right, we justmade a rule.
(21:09):
I can't talk to me, I can'ttalk to myself in a way that my
best friend would not talk to me.
So like if I'm coming to mybest friend and saying, oh my
gosh, I'm miserable, I made thismistake, I screwed up.
My best friend is going to comeback to me and be like oh honey
, you get to be human, you getto do this, it's okay, you know
a solution.
Have you been in a situationlike this before?
Why don't we put our headstogether and brainstorm a way
(21:30):
out of this?
Right, that's how my bestfriend is going to approach me,
whereas inside my own head, itsounds a little bit like you
piece of shit.
Why can't you just get ittogether?
What the hell is wrong with you?
Why do you keep failing right?
We use ourselves as a punchingbag, and so my life has
drastically improved since Iinstituted that rule of I have
to treat myself like somebody Igive a damn about, like somebody
(21:51):
I want a good relationship with, because somebody that I care
about I would never approachthem.
On a day I'm starting to getlike a little teary eyed saying
this, like, if you're depressed,if you feel like you messed up,
if you are super upset and yougo to your best friend and they
go, what the hell is wrong withyou?
Why did you do that?
Are you going to be bestfriends with that person for
much longer?
Are you going to trust exactlywhat you said?
(22:13):
Are you going to trust thatperson?
No, so don't do that toyourself.
And then the other thing thatcame up for me was how you show
up is how you experience success.
You experience success.
Just talk about another pattern,because when I was starting to
investigate my money stories,right, having grown up the
eldest of three kids with asingle mom, there was a lot of
(22:33):
struggle, right, and I had a lotof money narratives in my head
and somebody said to me once youknow who you are now will only
be amplified when you achievethat wealth.
So if you are stingy, if youdon't give now, that's exactly
who you're going to be whenyou're rich.
If you are generous and yougive now and you support people,
now, that's who you're going tobe when you're rich.
(22:54):
Don't meet yourself somedaywhen.
Meet yourself now.
And I just thought, gosh, Ihave to tell Alex this.
I have to tell her.
Alex Pursglove (23:09):
So good.
Yes, it amplifies who you arealready being a hundred percent,
and that's why, if you'reshowing up in that pattern of
it's not enough.
Yet I remember thinking thiswhen I first started my business
.
You know it took me my firstfour years in business.
I think I made under $60,000.
It was like I was grinding itout, trying to figure things out
, like doing a ton ofexperimenting and testing.
My background was in film andnonprofit, so I knew nothing
about sales and marketing or, um, or really the operations of
(23:31):
running a business, Um.
So I did a ton of experimentingand so at that time I remember
thinking, oh my gosh, surpassingeven six figures in revenue
would feel like you know, thishuge leap forward.
And I thought, oh, once I hitthat, I'll never worry about
money again, I'll never bestressed about money again.
Angie Colee (23:49):
And then um, I left for young, naive, aspirational
us that don't understand howfast six figures go.
That's me sending all the loveto all of us.
Yeah.
Alex Pursglove (24:00):
Yeah, we I feel like every business owner has
been there right At some pointjust about um.
And so, yeah, at the time Ithought that would just solve
all my problems.
And then, um, when I hired myfirst business and
transformation coach, itcompletely rocked my world,
changed my life.
I took this huge leap of faithto make this significant
investment, uh, to work with her, and over the next year and a
(24:23):
half I 10 X my business growthand so I was making more money
than I have ever made in my lifeand I started doing workshops
for women around the country.
I was running group programs.
I just had this huge elevationin my business.
And I remember specificallydoing this one launch where,
again, made more money than I'dever made before, just in this
(24:45):
one launch.
And I sat down with my husbandthat night we were actually
pregnant with my daughter, so hegot me a sparkling grapefruit
juice to toast this launch.
And I remember saying to him Ifeel like I should be so
ecstatic.
I feel like I should, I shouldbe so happy right now.
This is amazing.
And my head knew it was amazing.
(25:07):
My head knew it was a lot ofmoney.
My head knew these new clientswere going to be wonderful and
that and that this was asuccessful launch.
And I said, but inside I feellike, but why wasn't it a six
figure launch?
It was more money than I'd evermade before in a launch, but
why isn't it a six figure launch?
(25:27):
It's not enough.
Yet I got to figure out what Igot to do better and in that
moment was the first time Ithink I really stopped and
realized, wow, I've beenteaching about living in
enoughness and enjoying thejourney.
I've been teaching it from myhead.
My head knows how to enjoy thejourney, but inside I still
don't feel it.
Yeah, and it wasn't embodiedheart knowledge yet.
(25:50):
And I can look back at that,angie, and say it's, that's okay
, that's not a wrong experience.
I personally think we all kindof have to go through or most of
us have to go through thisjourney of creating the bigger
results, hitting the biggergoals, like creating the
achievement, to realize frompersonal experience that it's so
much more than that, that thatembodied experience of
(26:12):
enoughness.
Um is the path to greaterfulfillment.
But it's like we have to proveto ourselves that we can hit the
big goals.
So then we can see there's more.
Angie Colee (26:23):
Absolutely, and I find that I've had this
conversation with so many otherentrepreneurs too.
It's interesting, and I findthat I've had this conversation
with so many other entrepreneurstoo.
It's interesting, and this issomething that I'm passionate
about too, because if you're inthe early stages, you have to be
careful who you're talkingabout your dreams with.
Right, I can't share witheverybody what you just shared.
Why wasn't this a six figurelaunch?
I'm let down, which is atotally valid feeling.
(26:45):
It is attached to somethingthat I made up that's tied to
feelings of self-worth, but it'sstill a valid feeling and, like
the last guest, we were talkingabout examining feelings right,
when you reject the feeling,that's when that stuff just
keeps roiling underneath thesurface and driving the bus
right Without you being aware ofit.
So you've got to acknowledgethat.
What better place to do thatthan with other entrepreneurs
(27:05):
who get the fact that, like well, that was a $99,000 launch.
I'm a little bit disappointed.
It wasn't a hundred thousanddollar launch.
I mean, don't get me wrong, I'mgrateful that it was 99,000.
Like, woohoo, I understandobjectively, like with the
perspective that I'm doingbetter than a lot of people, and
I'm still allowed to bedisappointed that I didn't hit
(27:25):
this arbitrary goal that I setfor myself.
Alex Pursglove (27:29):
Yes, well, it goes back to what we were saying
at the beginning about notmaking your ego wrong, not
making it wrong.
You know, you mentioned aboutum you think of when the harsh
thoughts come up.
You'll think about how you talkto a friend.
Um, since I became a mom, thishas been huge for me.
My daughter is such anincredible teacher she's two and
a half and, um, actually almostthree, uh now.
So she's incredible teacher andI'll think about how, when my
(27:54):
daughter is disappointed or whenshe has a tantrum, um, you know
, when I was growing up, I wastaught stop the tantrum, stop it
like behave, behave, get overit, you're fine.
You're crying Like, don't cry,don't cry, you're fine.
Um, I think many of us receivedthat kind of conditioning as
kids and what I've come to learnand experience and see now is
that she just needs acceptance.
She just needs love andacceptance.
She doesn't have impulsecontrol.
(28:15):
Tantrums are normal.
It's a healthy expression offrustration and feeling of being
out of control for a two tothree-year-old and so when she
has a tantrum, when she feelsdisappointed or frustrated, it's
oh honey, you're allowed to bedisappointed.
It's okay to be disappointed.
Like, yeah, you thought youwere going to maybe talk me into
giving you a cookie beforedinner.
I understand being disappointed.
You're not getting the cookie,that's okay.
(28:37):
I'm disappointed too sometimeswhen I say no to cookies.
It's okay.
You're a human, human emotionhave experiences.
We're meant to experiencenegative emotion, just like
we're meant to experiencepositive emotion, because if we
don't experience the negative,we can't know the positive.
It's the universal law ofpolarity, right?
Everything has an equal andopposite.
You have to be able toexperience the downs to
(28:59):
experience the ups, and it's thesame with rage and passion
being on the same neural pathway.
If you can't feel rage andanger, impassioned, being on the
same neural pathway.
If you can't feel rage andanger, you can't feel the extent
of passion, and this is why,when I talk about living with
ecstasy, I really stress thispoint that living a life of
ecstasy is about feeling socompletely alive and owning that
(29:21):
.
I get to feel these emotions, Iget to feel disappointed that I
didn't have the big launch andyou know what?
There's probably something inthis for me, there's something
to look at, there's something Ican tweak with my launch, that I
can get more aligned.
There's probably ways I amblocking myself from making the
money that matches me.
And, oh, I'm allowed to alsofeel really good and standard
(29:44):
enoughness that this launch isexactly how it was supposed to
be, and it's amazing that I'vecreated the lead created and
that I got to work with theseclients right.
So it's holding that duality ofboth and that's what creates
feeling alive, is being presentwith what's here.
Angie Colee (30:02):
I love that.
I love that you brought up thatpolarity too, because the
thought that popped up into myhead, to circle back to that,
was you mentioned rage andpassion being on the same
spectrum.
I heard that it triggered thisquote, that I heard the
difference between I'mparaphrasing a little bit but
the difference betweenexcitement and fear is the
breath, and I went yeah, oh, oh,I can when I'm terrified of
(30:25):
this thing I'm about to do and Iam, you know, spiraling on all
of the ways that this could gowrong and I might humiliate
myself.
What if I just focused on thebreath and turned that into
excitement of like, here's agrand experiment.
What are we about to getourselves into?
Alex Pursglove (30:40):
Yes, yes, you know, I love that quote, I
actually.
So I just had a session with aclient last week where we were
working through some discomfortthat she feels when she feels
anxiety or fear in her body, andwe looked at it and looked at
how, when you can separate thestory about it and the judgment
about it and just pause and saywhat am I actually feeling?
(31:02):
What are the sensations in mybody right now?
And it was, oh, like some, sometingling, some, you know,
flipping stomach, like some,some like swaying motion, like
in her body, and you know justfeeling that energy, right.
And when we stop and look atwhat if the emotion and the
sensation just is, what if it'snot right or wrong, it just is,
that's just what you're feeling?
And then you can look at okay,is the sensation?
(31:26):
Is it pleasurable or notpleasurable?
Sure, there's some sensations,right, that feel good or that
don't feel as good.
And when you can remove thestory, you get to decide if it's
fear or excitement.
The fear or excitement is basedon the story that you tell
yourself.
So so often we feel fear, we'rejust having a physical reaction
in our body.
Our body is conditioned, ournervous system knows like.
(31:46):
For me, I tend to get theflippy stomach or the tight knot
in my stomach, but I feel fearand excitement through my
stomach.
When I'm excited, I feel this,the same energy, but it's about
if.
Am I focusing on, you know,embracing the unknown and what I
get to create and, you know,bringing my expression out into
the world, or am I worryingabout what could go wrong?
(32:06):
And it's the story I'm tellingmyself that creates fear,
excitement or anger or passion.
Angie Colee (32:13):
They're all connected.
What you were talking aboutbeing present, being in your
body.
What I came to the conclusionof and like this is my amateur
(32:34):
diagnosis was I could never bein flow state as long as I was
in my head thinking about what Iwas doing.
Like, being in my head thinkingabout what I was doing, I was
always a few like minutes behindor a few minutes ahead of what
I'm actually doing because I'mkind of analyzing it.
So everything's not in themoment, it's not instinctual,
it's overthought, it's overcalculated, almost even though
it's happening super quickly.
And the times that people havetold me that, like they were
(32:57):
blown away by my performance,were what I told you about that.
I can't remember being on stage.
I don't really.
I remember getting off stagethat night and people going oh
my God, that was great.
But I don't remember being onstage.
I don't really.
I remember getting off stagethat night and people going oh
my God, that was great.
But I don't remember being inthe moment other than this, just
the joy of performing, and Ithink that's the beauty of just
like allowing yourself to be.
I don't know where I was goingwith that thought, but it came
up so.
Alex Pursglove (33:21):
No, I love it.
I mean that's.
I think the essence of whatwe're talking about is your
beingness, right, and that'sreally been.
I think the most transformativelesson for me, in my life as
well, is, you know, I talkedabout making this 10x leap a few
years ago.
It was the first time fromworking with this mentor that I
came to really understand thatyour success in business, I'd
say, is probably about 20 to 25percent what you do and 70 to
(33:44):
75% who you be, or 80, sorry, to75% who you be.
So how you're showing up, howyou're thinking, how you're
connected to your intuition, howyou're connected to your body I
mean, our body is an incrediblypowerful guide, right.
Our body has incredible wisdom.
Our intuition is so powerfulit's always guiding us towards
more expansion.
Our intuition is so powerfulit's always guiding us towards
(34:04):
more expansion, towards ourdesires, towards opportunity,
towards growth.
I mean, our intuition alwaysknows exactly what we need,
always knows exactly what weneed.
So when you're tapped into yourintuition, when you're trusting
in yourself the unknown, whenyou're cutting out the people
pleasing the approval, seekingthe validation from other people
right, and really operatingfrom your own compass and
(34:27):
letting your most authenticself-expression be heard and
witnessed.
That's when you experiencequantum leaps.
That's when everything changes,when you accelerate your
results in a way that feels good.
Angie Colee (34:40):
Wow, yes, I love that.
I'm passionate about thisbecause I feel like I also
artificially held myself backfor a long time, like, in many
ways, this podcast is when wetalk about coaching our younger
selves.
Right, this is me talking to ayounger Angie going yes, you
have permission to do what youwant to do, even if it doesn't
make sense to the people aroundyou.
You have permission to followyour heart, to be your authentic
(35:02):
self.
You have permission to followyour heart, to be your authentic
self.
There's a time, five, 10 yearsago, like I'm holding up my hair
now that is bright, purple andred I wouldn't have dreamed of
doing this because I thought Iwould scare people away.
This is the beacon right herethat brings people into my world
who go I love your hair, I loveit, I love your hair.
What color is that?
And then now we're relating ona completely different level
(35:24):
from so what do you do forbusiness?
Oh, I do this.
Here's my 30 second elevatorpitch blah, blah, blah.
Gag me Right.
Alex Pursglove (35:32):
I love what you just said about your red hair
and like that, that owning yourauthentic self-expression.
And if I can share this onestory cause it's a recent story
actually, but you know I lovethat this is that your whole
podcast is around conversationright and real conversation, and
so I'd love to share thispersonal experience I had that,
I think, was really such adeepening in me understanding
(35:56):
this practice that I've beenbelieving in and living by.
But when I experienced it, itjust took it to a whole new
level, and so it was just thispast fall I was invited to speak
in an event that focused onsharing ideas through personal
storytelling.
It's called the platform'scalled Speak, a great
up-and-coming platform tosupport speakers and their
(36:18):
personal stories, and so therewere short talks and as I was
preparing mine, I was stuck fora little bit.
I thought, okay, I knew thegeneral idea, but I couldn't
really find the essence of mystory yet and what I wanted to
share, and so I was wrestlingwith it a little bit, and then
one day I finally I got by attime and I sat down and just
(36:39):
really connected to my heart andwhere it was guiding me, and
all of a sudden this idea cameup that I wanted to share about
my experience in childhood andgrowing up in an angry home and
how I personally experienced myfather yelling at me when I was
a little girl, and so this ideacame up and then I thought, oh
wait, but I've never talkedabout that publicly before.
I've talked about it withclients and in small groups, but
(37:01):
I've never done it on a.
This talk is going to be onYouTube.
You know, I've never done it ona public platform.
And so I realized, if I wasgoing to share the story, that I
would need to talk to my dadand tell him that I was going to
share this, and that brought upI mean, my people, pleaser,
went crazy it was like, oh mygosh, what's my family going to
think?
What will he say?
My dad and I have never talkedabout this before.
How is he going to react?
(37:21):
Am I, you know, a bad daughter,all the things?
And then I stopped and thoughtokay, I'm allowed to have all
that fear.
And what's my highest self,what's my intuition guiding me
to?
My intuition is screaming, butit wants to tell the story, and
I believed it would be inservice to my my people, cause I
know a lot of women I work withhave had this experience of
(37:41):
having anger in their homes.
And so, um, I decided to havethis conversation with my dad
and to tell him that I was goingto share the story, and it took
a little bit, you know, we hadto talk about it a little bit.
It was a surprise for himbecause we had never talked
about its effects on me, buttowards the end, he was able to
receive what I was saying andactually ended up apologizing
(38:02):
for how it affected me.
It was this beautiful, healingconversation where I felt like I
got to show up with realcompassion, because I made it a
point not to bring in peoplepleasing, not to need his
approval for it, but to simplytell him you know and share my
experience and really to own.
It wasn't about him, it wasabout my experience.
So we had this beautifulconversation and then I
(38:26):
committed myself to just livingin that truth that this would be
in highest service to all.
So when you follow yourintuition, when you follow your
desires in highest service toeverybody so I committed to that
, I did.
The talk felt amazing about thetalk, had some incredible
things happen from that, butwhat was most powerful was that
three weeks later my dad had aheart attack and went into
cardiac arrest and a month laterhe passed away.
(39:00):
And my very first thought when Igot the call to go to the
hospital and heard that he had aheart attack was that I was so
grateful that I got to have thatconversation with him.
I didn't know how theconversation would turn out, but
it ended up being this, thisfeeling of closure with my dad,
that I got to actually talk tohim about my experience as a kid
and have him apologize and haveme forgive him.
And it was the very firstthought I had and to this day I
share it and it gives megoosebumps because I thought
(39:22):
when I had that inspiration todo that talk.
I was thinking about how it wasgoing to serve my audience and
okay, well, it would serve them.
And now I see it was so inservice to me and my family and
my relationship with my dadright before he passed.
And so, like I said, it wasthis experience of just taking
that knowledge deeper into, thisembodied knowing your intuition
(39:46):
never steers you.
So, letting that guide you, themore you can remove all the
thoughts, the approval seekingthoughts, what other people
think you should do thecomparisons, thinking you have
to do it like everybody else andfollow your own inner compass.
It will create just the mostpowerful opportunities in your
life.
Angie Colee (40:05):
I'm just like letting that sit for a second
because that just feels likesuch a mic drop, like thank you
for sharing that with us, like Ican feel the emotion and the
spirit from here and that justfeels like the perfect note to
wrap on Just trust yourself.
Your intuition doesn't steeryou wrong.
These things are working foryou Well.
(40:27):
Thank you for being such anincredible guest.
This is making my heart feel sogood, so happy, so smiley today
.
I really appreciate you.
Tell us more about where we canlearn how to work with you.
See your speeches all of it.
Alex Pursglove (40:39):
Thank you, angie .
Well, I'll start with.
I have a gift to offer youraudience.
It's my ebook on radical trusta woman's guide to manifesting
true desires, joy and passion.
So it gets a lot deeper intothese concepts of how you can
connect to yourself, yourintuition, and really trust
yourself in a greater way.
So that's at alexpersklovecombackslash radical trust.
(40:59):
You can also find me atalexpersklovecom and I love to
connect with people.
I'm all about authentic humanconnections.
So anyone who just has athought, an insight, a story, a
question from this podcast, Ilove to get to know people.
So you can find me online onsocial media.
I'm sure there will be links inthe show notes.
Just send me a message.
(41:20):
I'd love to hear what resonatedwith you from this conversation
.
Angie Colee (41:23):
Love it, love it, love it.
And look if you're hesitatingand wondering, is she talking to
me?
Yes, yes, if you feel called torespond, if you feel called to
reach out, do not talk yourselfout of it.
Practice trusting thatintuition right now.
Go click on the show link.
There's going to be clickablelinks in the show notes.
Go click on those.
Reach out, say what you need tosay and trust.
(41:43):
Oh, I love it.
Thank you so much for being onthe show.
I appreciate you.
Thank you, angie.
Alex Pursglove (41:48):
So enjoyed it.
Angie Colee (41:52):
That's all for now.
If you want to keep thatkick-ass energy high, please
take a minute to share thisepisode with someone that might
need a high-octane dose of youcan do it.
Don't forget to rate, reviewand subscribe to the Permission
to Kick-Ass podcast on ApplePodcasts, spotify and wherever
you stream your podcasts.
I'm your host, angie Coley, andI'm here rooting for you.
Thanks for listening and let'sgo kick some ass.
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