March 31, 2025 • 22 mins
Showing Up, Being Seen and Getting Out of Your Own Way...
After 100 episodes of Powerful Women Rising, the biggest lessons I learned weren’t about editing or promotions, they were about how I lead, connect with others and show up in the world.
These lessons apply to anyone building something meaningful - especially if you’re working toward consistent six-figure income and want to grow in a way that actually feels good.
In this episode, I’m sharing 10 lessons and behind-the-scenes truths I wish more women talked about - because they’ve changed the way I do business, and they’ll change yours too.
We’ll cover:
✅ Why your voice matters, even when you think no one is listening
✅ The truth about visibility (HINT: They're called vanity metrics for a reason)
✅ How to stop overthinking and start doing
✅ Why consistency is important - but not at the expense of your sanity
✅ How asking better questions transforms your business relationships
Whether you’re just starting out, somewhere in the messy middle, or finally feeling momentum - there’s something in here that’ll hit home and make you think differently about how you show up for yourself, your people and your business.
If this show has helped you in any way...
Please leave a 5-star review on Apple or Spotify. You can also Buy me a coffee to show your appreciation - it's basically how I survive!
And if you’re craving authentic connection with other women in business, check out our next virtual speed networking event!
Links & References:
- Join us at our next PWR Virtual Speed Networking Event!
- For even deeper connections, check out the Powerful Women Rising Community
- Our Most Popular! Episode #43 - The Elevator Pitch is Dead
Connect with Your Host!
Melissa Snow is a Business Relationship Strategist dedicated to empowering women in entrepreneurship. She founded the Powerful Women Rising Community, which provides female business owners with essential support and resources for business growth.
Melissa's other mission is to revolutionize networking, promoting authenticity and genuine connections over sleazy sales tactics. She runs an incredible monthly Virtual Speed Networking Event which you can attend once at no cost using the code FIRSTTIME
She lives in Colorado Springs with two girl dogs, two boy cats and any number of foster kittens. She loves iced coffee, Taylor Swift, and Threads.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Welcome to Powerful Women Rising, a podcast for
female entrepreneurs ready to dobusiness their way.
Grab your coffee and join hostMelissa Snow, business
relationship strategist andfounder of the Powerful Women
Rising community, as sheinterviews industry experts and
shares insights on strategy,marketing, mindset and more.
(00:25):
Here you'll find the tools,strategies and inspiration you
need to feel empowered, takebold action in your business and
keep rising.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode
of the Powerful Women RisingPodcast.
I'm your host, melissa Snow.
My cats are murdering eachother.
Hold on.
Okay, that was a little outtakeblooper for you.
I thought I should put it infor the 101st episode of the
Powerful Women Rising podcast.
(00:56):
I can't tell you how manyothers there are.
Maybe someday I will make acompilation and it will be super
fun, but I just wanted to leavethat one in there for you just
for a good time.
Anywho, welcome back.
This really is the PowerfulWomen Rising podcast and I
really am Melissa Snow, and thisreally is our 101st episode.
(01:16):
I can't even believe that.
If this is your first timelistening, welcome.
I am a business relationshipstrategist, which means I help
people figure out how to networkbetter.
I help them learn how to loveit and how to get good results
from it.
Even if they think that theyhate networking, they've never
done it before.
It sounds scary.
They did it and it didn't work.
(01:37):
I am a firm believer thatnetworking is the simplest, most
sustainable but underrated formof business growth that there
is, and I am here to help you doit.
I'm the founder of the PowerfulWomen Rising community, which
is an amazing online communityfor female entrepreneurs just
like you who want to build theirbusiness with the support of
other businesswomen around them.
(01:59):
It is a place where you can getanswers to your questions, you
can find support when you'refeeling frustrated.
You can find referral partners,people to collaborate with,
people to co-work with, and it'ssuch a more fun and enjoyable
and sustainable way to build abusiness than relying on
manipulative sales tactics orspending huge amounts of money
on coaches, programs, coursesthat don't actually move the
(02:22):
needle forward in your business.
And if you've been with mesince the beginning, whether
you've listened to one episodeor all 100, thank you Seriously.
Your support means the world tome.
I want to share a few fun statsbefore we dive in.
This little podcast baby of mineis actually the second podcast
that I've had.
The first podcast I had wascalled Love Starts here.
(02:44):
I started that podcast when Iwas a dating and relationship
coach for many, many years and Ithink we did maybe 85, 90
episodes of that podcast.
I can't remember, but that wasa super fun podcast.
It's still around, so if you'restruggling with romantic
relationships, go check that out.
But this podcast in particularPowerful Women Rising started
(03:06):
out as your relationship withpodcast, and I thought that was
really clever because I wasworking with people on their
business relationships and Ithought each episode would be a
different interview with someoneabout some relationship in
their life.
Right, so it could be yourrelationship to fun, your
relationship to sales, yourrelationship to time management.
(03:28):
It seemed like a really goodidea and it was very clever
until I realized that it made nosense for me to have a business
named Powerful Women Rising, acommunity named Powerful Women
Rising and a podcast with atotally different name.
So we rebranded pretty soonafter starting the podcast and
now this podcast has beendownloaded 8,270 times across
(03:50):
six continents, 78 countries and1,038 cities around the world.
The top four cities oflisteners are right here in
Colorado, where I live, which isamazing.
But the number five and sixcities are actually Frankfurt,
germany and Jerusalem, which isamazing.
But the number five and sixcities are actually Frankfurt,
germany and Jerusalem, which isincredible.
So shout out to all thelisteners in those cities and
(04:12):
all the others worldwide.
And if you're one of thehundreds of people who loved
episode number 43, the ElevatorPitch is Dead you've got great
taste.
It is officially the mostdownloaded episode ever.
And finally, I want to sharethat the Powerful Women Rising
podcast is one of the top 2.5%most popular shows out of over 3
(04:32):
million podcasts globally,according to Listen Notes.
So I share this informationwith you not to brag, but
because this was a joint effort.
This podcast would not havebeen nearly as successful
without my amazing guests and,of course, you, the listeners.
So thank you so much.
Now let's dive into today'sepisode.
(04:53):
I shared last week fiveinterviews that I did with the
winners of the 2024 PowerfulWomen Rising Impact Awards, and
it seemed like the best way tocelebrate 100 episodes by
celebrating some amazing womenin business.
So if you've not listened tosome of those, definitely go
back and check them out.
But I also couldn't let thisoccasion pass without doing some
(05:14):
reflecting on what I havelearned over the past two years
and over 100 episodes of thePowerful Women Rising podcast
the good, the hard and the stuffthat nobody tells you when you
first start out.
So here we go.
Lesson number one you don't needto be famous to be an expert.
When I first started thispodcast, I felt like I had to
(05:35):
prove myself.
I would get really nervousinterviewing big names, thinking
that I wasn't on their level.
But after 100 episodes Irealized we're all actually just
people.
The only difference between youand the expert quote unquote is
probably just confidence, maybemore followers and a slightly
more polished Instagram bio.
And here's the thing my soloepisodes, the ones that I was
(05:59):
most afraid to do because Ithought I had nothing important
to say and I wasn't an expert,so who wanted to listen to me?
Are now the most downloadedepisodes of all the episodes
I've done, and when I getmessages like this is exactly
what I needed to hear today, orI just found your podcast and
I'm so excited that I did it'susually in response to those
(06:21):
solo episodes.
So if you're waiting to feellike an expert before you start
showing up in some area of yourbusiness, stop waiting, just
start showing up.
I recently got a review on thepodcast from Joanne and I feel
like she said it best.
She said Melissa keeps it realand gets to the heart of the
stuff that holds us back.
Her episodes are packed withinsights that actually make a
(06:42):
difference.
When I heard that, I realized Idon't have to know all of the
things.
I just have to know a few morethings than the people who are
listening, and that is going tomake all the difference.
Lesson number two stopoverthinking everything.
Now I know this is easier saidthan done, but, as I mentioned
before, there was a point when Iresisted solo episodes because
(07:04):
I couldn't imagine talking for30 minutes by myself.
I had hired a podcast coach andshe had said why are you only
doing interviews?
You are essentially spendingall of this time and money
producing commercials for otherpeople.
Meanwhile, you're notpositioning yourself as the
expert.
And I thought, oh my God, butI'm not the expert, right?
So we already covered that inlesson number one.
(07:25):
But I also thought how am Igoing to come up with 30 minutes
worth of stuff to talk about?
And then she said who said theyhad to be 30 minutes long?
And my brain exploded Like, ohduh, no one.
I don't know where I came upwith that.
And we do this kind of stuffall the time, with podcasting,
social media, emails, speaking,whatever it is.
(07:47):
We overcomplicate things thatdon't need to be that
complicated.
I see it with women in thePowerful Women Rising community
constantly feeling likeeverything has to be perfect
before they share it or havingsome idea in their head of how
it's supposed to look or whatthey're supposed to have in
place before they can moveforward.
But perfection isn't requiredfor impact.
All you have to do is show upand whatever it is you're
(08:10):
telling yourself you need tohave before you can take that
next step.
It's probably not actually true, all right.
Lesson number three ask betterquestions.
It will make you better ateverything.
Podcasting has made me a betterconversationalist hands down,
and one of the biggest thingsthat I've learned is that when
you are having a conversationwith someone, you need to start
(08:31):
in their comfort zone.
I used to listen to podcastsand they would start with that
first question of like who areyou Tell us about you?
How did you get here?
How did you start your business?
And when I would listen tothose episodes, I would think
why do they ask that question?
That's probably the thing we're, like, the least interested in,
right?
Like, if you've invited someoneto be a guest on your podcast
and I love your podcast I'massuming that you have already
(08:54):
decided.
This person knows enough that Ishould listen to them, right?
So I don't really need them toestablish themselves as an
expert.
I'm gonna take your word for it.
What I wanna know is what dothey know that I don't know.
What actionable steps do theyhave?
What can they give me that Ihaven't thought about already?
Right, let's skip all thisbullshit in the beginning.
But what I realized is that whenpeople feel comfortable, they
(09:17):
are more willing to open up, andso if you start with a question
like that that they're supercomfortable answering.
Their answer is very familiarto them.
It helps give them some time toget comfortable with you and
then move into the meat of theconversation, where the good
stuff happens.
And I've started applying thatwhen I'm networking too and
(09:38):
having conversations with newpeople is that if I can start
them with a little bit of thatsmall talk, a little bit of that
like this is a really easyquestion to answer.
Then it's much easier for us tomove into the deeper stuff
about why they started theirbusiness, what they're
passionate about, what theirvalues are, what they're hoping
to achieve in the next yearright, about what their values
(09:58):
are, what they're hoping toachieve in the next year, right.
Good questions build connection.
In podcasting, in networking,in life.
When you can get people to openup, that is how you start to
build trust.
You make people feel seen andthat is the real secret to
networking in a way that doesn'tfeel sleazy.
Lesson number four your metricsdon't equal your mission.
Listen, it is easy to obsessover downloads and followers and
(10:23):
views and comments and all thethings, but if I only focused on
numbers, I would have quit thispodcast a long time ago.
And, believe me, there weretimes that I wanted to.
My business besties can attestto the number of conversations
that we had where I was like,okay, I think I'm done with this
podcast, like legit, ready tothrow in the towel because I
(10:44):
only got 150 downloads on anepisode.
But I had to remember that thatwas not why I started this
podcast.
I started this podcast to givewomen the kind of business
advice that I wish I'd hadbefore dropping 10K on a coach
that didn't do me any good.
I wanted to start this podcastbecause I wanted to create a
space for women to grow theirbusiness their way, not to have
(11:08):
to follow the cookie cutteradvice and try to become someone
that they're not comfortablebeing, because that's how
business works.
And I recently got atestimonial or a review that
said Melissa is a fantastic host.
It feels like she's trulygrowing a community of powerful
women via her podcast and I amhere for it and I just want to
(11:29):
say, live March.
Same girl, same.
I love this podcast because itfeels like a community, because,
even if I don't know who'slistening in Frankfurt, germany,
I still know that she's showingup every Monday and we're
having a conversation.
I know that all the times thatI say, hey, how's your week
going?
And I can't actually hear theresponse, I know that there is a
(11:53):
response and I keep doing thispodcast for that reason, and I
know that 150 downloads means150 women have decided that what
I have to say, or what myguests are sharing, is important
enough for them to tune in, andthat is huge.
Lesson number five collaborationsounds sexy, but it takes work
(12:16):
and it doesn't always work.
What I've learned is that notevery podcast guest turns into a
great collaborator.
I have had some people on thispodcast who have huge followings
, huge audiences, and I was soexcited when they agreed to come
on the podcast and then Ipromoted the shit out of their
(12:36):
episode and they never even oncementioned that they were on my
podcast.
I have also had to pull podcastepisodes because I realized
later that the people Iinterviewed didn't have values
that aligned with mine, and partof that is on me for not doing
my homework right.
I remember a long time ago whenI first met Connie Kircher,
(12:57):
who's been a guest on thispodcast.
I heard her speak and she wastalking about how to make
collaboration successful, andshe said something about how,
anytime someone wants tocollaborate with her, she always
tells them that sounds great.
Let's circle back on this in sixto 12 months, and at the time I
thought that is insane.
Who's going to wait six to 12months?
But what I realize is you haveto give yourself time to really
(13:20):
get to know that person, to seehow they work, how they promote
themselves, how they make sales,what they're all about.
Do they say that they valuecertain things, but then the way
they show up on social mediashows that they don't value
those things.
Maybe it's somebody that youwork with first before you start
promoting them to other people,and you realize this is
actually not the great situationI thought it was going to be.
(13:43):
So collaboration requires you todo your homework to make sure
that the person you arecollaborating with really is the
kind of person you want to becollaborating with, and I also
learned that collaboration hasto be mutual.
Lots of people want you topromote them, but they don't
want to promote you.
Sometimes it's because they seeyou as competition.
(14:04):
I've had people on this podcastwho do similar things to what I
do and I think that they don'tpromote the episode that they've
been on because they are afraidthat their people are going to
become my people.
Or they have their own podcastand they're afraid that they
will are going to become mypeople, or they have their own
podcast and they're afraid thatthey will lose their listeners
to me, and what I've realized isthat people like that just
(14:26):
aren't my people.
Real collaborators know thatcommunity over competition isn't
just a cute phrase on a coffeemug.
It's really something that youembody by living in abundance,
by recognizing that there isenough out there for all of us
and that if somebody wants tolisten to your podcast and mine,
(14:46):
super.
If someone is listening to mypodcast and then they discover
yours and they're like you knowwhat?
I only have 30 minutes a weekfor podcasts.
I'm going to go with this oneGreat.
I want them listening to yourpodcast because it is what is
going to go with this one.
Great.
I want them listening to yourpodcast because it is what is
going to help them the most, andwhen we focus on that and when
I find other people who arefocused on that, that's when I
(15:06):
know those are the people that Itruly want to collaborate with.
Lesson number six kind of goesalong with this one, and lesson
number six is not everyopportunity is a good
opportunity.
We fall into this trap a lot asbusiness owners, whether it is
looking for podcast guests,we're looking for someone to do
an email swap with, maybe wewant to do an online summit and
(15:27):
so we're looking forparticipants, and we fall into
the trap of thinking thatsomeone's audience size is equal
to the value they're going tobring to our thing.
I see this a lot when I'mapplying to be a guest on other
people's podcasts.
It's very common for one of theapplication questions to ask
about how big is your audienceon Instagram, how big is your
email list?
How many people do you havefollowing you on this?
(15:48):
Because we think that that isgoing to give us the better
opportunity.
But the reality is I have hadbig name guests with huge
followings who brought verylittle value to the podcast is.
I have had big name guests withhuge followings who brought
very little value to the podcastand I have had much lesser
known guests who broughtabsolute gold, and I'm not just
talking about audience size andtheir willingness to promote
their episodes, but I'm alsotalking about how much value
(16:11):
they gave in their interview.
I have had people who show upready to just share everything
that they know and everythingthat they know is going to be
the most helpful to thelisteners.
And then I've also had peopleshow up where it's very clear
that they are just here thinkingthis podcast interview is a
commercial for their stuff.
They're really just roundaboutpitching their products with
(16:32):
every question that they answer.
So it's really important topick your guests, pick your
collaborators and pick thepeople in your network based on
alignment, not audience size,not what you think that you can
get from them because they're abig name or they're well-known
or they have a lot of followers.
Ultimately, in the end, thereare a lot of things that matter
(16:53):
a lot more than that.
Lesson number seven consistencyis hard, but burnout is harder.
At one point I was feelingcompletely overwhelmed Okay, who
am I kidding?
At many points I feltcompletely overwhelmed by this
podcast.
It is a lot to juggle life andwork and podcasting.
And I remember at one pointventing to my coach about how
(17:14):
stressed I was and she said whydon't you just skip this week?
And I was like, wait, I can dothat.
I can just not record anepisode this week.
I mean, even today I'mrecording this episode at 11am
and it usually goes out at 6am.
But these are all rules thatwe've made up for ourselves.
Skipping one episode it doesn'terase your progress.
(17:36):
Putting an episode out at 11instead of 6 am is not going to
make someone be like well gosh,I'm never listening to that
podcast again.
Taking a break when you need todoesn't mean that you're failing
.
Perfectionism is very sneaky.
It's often the reason thatyou're stuck and it's often the
reason that you feel burnt outand struggle to be consistent.
(17:56):
Lesson number eight you have tobe willing to quote, unquote,
fail even when it's working.
Some of my episodes flopped.
Some episodes didn't land.
Some interviews I thought weregoing to be so popular and
hardly anyone listened.
Some solo episodes I thoughtthis is so juicy and they really
(18:17):
weren't that great.
And some were surprisinglysuccessful.
But you don't get to the goodstuff without going through that
messy middle.
You have to keep going evenwhen no one is clapping yet, you
have to clap for yourself untileveryone else catches up.
And that's what I remind myselfover and over again when I want
(18:38):
to quit.
I ask myself why did I startthis podcast?
What is in it for me, not justthe listener?
And if I'm enjoying the process, connecting with amazing women
and getting to say things thatmatter, then this podcast is a
success, no matter what thestatistics show.
Lesson number nine you will growinto the person you were
pretending to be.
When I started this podcast, Ihoped that people would think I
(19:01):
was an expert.
I hoped that they'd take meseriously, and now I know the
value that I have to offer.
And that growth didn't comefrom faking it.
It came from showing upimperfectly over and over again
and just seeing what happens.
So if you're sitting onsomething a podcast idea, a blog
, a course maybe it's your newbusiness that you haven't even
(19:24):
started yet.
Don't wait to be ready.
Just start.
I promise you will become whoyou need to be in the doing
process.
And finally, lesson number 10,people are listening, people are
watching, people are payingattention, people are noticing
you, even when you don't thinkthey are, as I mentioned in many
of these other episodes.
(19:45):
It's so easy to get caught up inthe metrics.
To get caught up in how metricsto get caught up in how many
people are buying your thing,how much money you made this
month, how many downloads yougot, how many new subscribers
there are.
And then you get a note from alistener that you didn't even
know existed and she says I justfound your podcast.
I've been binging it all day.
Thank you so much.
This is exactly what I needed.
(20:05):
And suddenly none of thosemetrics matter, right, because
you have impacted that oneperson and that is what you set
out to do.
I recently got to interview AlexSanfilippo for the podcast.
His episode hasn't come out yet, but he is the founder of
Podmatch and I have beenwatching him for a very long
time.
He's honestly like a podcastingGod, and after the interview he
(20:30):
left me a review that saidMelissa is an amazing podcast
host, a brilliantconversationalist who brings the
right amount of humor to herinterviews.
It is rare to meet a podcasterwho can do that, and I damn near
cried.
So the lesson here is you justnever know who's tuning in and
what they think.
You don't know who shows upweek after week to hear what you
(20:51):
have to say.
You don't know who reads everysingle one of your blog posts
but never comments on it.
You don't know who's lurkingout there, who is your biggest
fan, and you don't even know it.
Who's going to be your nextclient and you're not even ready
.
So keep talking, keep sharing,keep showing up, because there
is someone out there right nowwho needs to hear exactly what
(21:14):
you have to say.
Maybe today, maybe six monthsfrom now, but they're listening.
Okay, friends, there you have it10 lessons I have learned from
two years and a hundred episodesof the Powerful Women Rising
podcast.
I'm sure there are a lot more,so maybe I'll have to come in
with a part two, or maybe parttwo will be after 200 episodes.
In the meantime, thanks forcelebrating with me.
(21:37):
Here's to 100 episodes and toevery single one of you who's
tuned in, shared an episode,left a review or just quietly
listened in the car whilewondering if this business thing
is ever going to get easier.
If this podcast has helped youin any way, I'd love to hear
from you.
Leave a review, come say hi atour next virtual speed
networking event, or you canclick the link in the show notes
(21:59):
and buy me a coffee If you'refeeling generous and you want to
support the show.
I do love coffee.
Thank you for being there,thank you for making this show
what it is and thank you forletting me be fully
unapologetically me week afterweek.
Here's to the next 100 episodes.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
That's a wrap on this week's episode of Powerful
Women Rising.
Thanks for hanging out with us.
If you love the podcast, makesure to subscribe, share it with
a friend, write a review or buyus a coffee.
Your support helps more womenlike you step into their power
and grow their businesses in away that feels real and true to
them.
Want to keep the party going?
(22:39):
Check out the show notes fordetails on our next virtual
speed networking event, or joinus in the powerful Women Rising
community.
Until next time, remember thatbuilding a business your way is
the best way.
Welcome to Powerful Women Rising, a podcast for
female entrepreneurs ready to dobusiness their way.
Grab your coffee and join hostMelissa Snow, business
relationship strategist andfounder of the Powerful Women
Rising community, as sheinterviews industry experts and
shares insights on strategy,marketing, mindset and more.
(00:25):
Here you'll find the tools,strategies and inspiration you
need to feel empowered, takebold action in your business and
keep rising.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode
of the Powerful Women RisingPodcast.
I'm your host, melissa Snow.
My cats are murdering eachother.
Hold on.
Okay, that was a little outtakeblooper for you.
I thought I should put it infor the 101st episode of the
Powerful Women Rising podcast.
(00:56):
I can't tell you how manyothers there are.
Maybe someday I will make acompilation and it will be super
fun, but I just wanted to leavethat one in there for you just
for a good time.
Anywho, welcome back.
This really is the PowerfulWomen Rising podcast and I
really am Melissa Snow, and thisreally is our 101st episode.
(01:16):
I can't even believe that.
If this is your first timelistening, welcome.
I am a business relationshipstrategist, which means I help
people figure out how to networkbetter.
I help them learn how to loveit and how to get good results
from it.
Even if they think that theyhate networking, they've never
done it before.
It sounds scary.
They did it and it didn't work.
(01:37):
I am a firm believer thatnetworking is the simplest, most
sustainable but underrated formof business growth that there
is, and I am here to help you doit.
I'm the founder of the PowerfulWomen Rising community, which
is an amazing online communityfor female entrepreneurs just
like you who want to build theirbusiness with the support of
other businesswomen around them.
(01:59):
It is a place where you can getanswers to your questions, you
can find support when you'refeeling frustrated.
You can find referral partners,people to collaborate with,
people to co-work with, and it'ssuch a more fun and enjoyable
and sustainable way to build abusiness than relying on
manipulative sales tactics orspending huge amounts of money
on coaches, programs, coursesthat don't actually move the
(02:22):
needle forward in your business.
And if you've been with mesince the beginning, whether
you've listened to one episodeor all 100, thank you Seriously.
Your support means the world tome.
I want to share a few fun statsbefore we dive in.
This little podcast baby of mineis actually the second podcast
that I've had.
The first podcast I had wascalled Love Starts here.
(02:44):
I started that podcast when Iwas a dating and relationship
coach for many, many years and Ithink we did maybe 85, 90
episodes of that podcast.
I can't remember, but that wasa super fun podcast.
It's still around, so if you'restruggling with romantic
relationships, go check that out.
But this podcast in particularPowerful Women Rising started
(03:06):
out as your relationship withpodcast, and I thought that was
really clever because I wasworking with people on their
business relationships and Ithought each episode would be a
different interview with someoneabout some relationship in
their life.
Right, so it could be yourrelationship to fun, your
relationship to sales, yourrelationship to time management.
(03:28):
It seemed like a really goodidea and it was very clever
until I realized that it made nosense for me to have a business
named Powerful Women Rising, acommunity named Powerful Women
Rising and a podcast with atotally different name.
So we rebranded pretty soonafter starting the podcast and
now this podcast has beendownloaded 8,270 times across
(03:50):
six continents, 78 countries and1,038 cities around the world.
The top four cities oflisteners are right here in
Colorado, where I live, which isamazing.
But the number five and sixcities are actually Frankfurt,
germany and Jerusalem, which isamazing.
But the number five and sixcities are actually Frankfurt,
germany and Jerusalem, which isincredible.
So shout out to all thelisteners in those cities and
(04:12):
all the others worldwide.
And if you're one of thehundreds of people who loved
episode number 43, the ElevatorPitch is Dead you've got great
taste.
It is officially the mostdownloaded episode ever.
And finally, I want to sharethat the Powerful Women Rising
podcast is one of the top 2.5%most popular shows out of over 3
(04:32):
million podcasts globally,according to Listen Notes.
So I share this informationwith you not to brag, but
because this was a joint effort.
This podcast would not havebeen nearly as successful
without my amazing guests and,of course, you, the listeners.
So thank you so much.
Now let's dive into today'sepisode.
(04:53):
I shared last week fiveinterviews that I did with the
winners of the 2024 PowerfulWomen Rising Impact Awards, and
it seemed like the best way tocelebrate 100 episodes by
celebrating some amazing womenin business.
So if you've not listened tosome of those, definitely go
back and check them out.
But I also couldn't let thisoccasion pass without doing some
(05:14):
reflecting on what I havelearned over the past two years
and over 100 episodes of thePowerful Women Rising podcast
the good, the hard and the stuffthat nobody tells you when you
first start out.
So here we go.
Lesson number one you don't needto be famous to be an expert.
When I first started thispodcast, I felt like I had to
(05:35):
prove myself.
I would get really nervousinterviewing big names, thinking
that I wasn't on their level.
But after 100 episodes Irealized we're all actually just
people.
The only difference between youand the expert quote unquote is
probably just confidence, maybemore followers and a slightly
more polished Instagram bio.
And here's the thing my soloepisodes, the ones that I was
(05:59):
most afraid to do because Ithought I had nothing important
to say and I wasn't an expert,so who wanted to listen to me?
Are now the most downloadedepisodes of all the episodes
I've done, and when I getmessages like this is exactly
what I needed to hear today, orI just found your podcast and
I'm so excited that I did it'susually in response to those
(06:21):
solo episodes.
So if you're waiting to feellike an expert before you start
showing up in some area of yourbusiness, stop waiting, just
start showing up.
I recently got a review on thepodcast from Joanne and I feel
like she said it best.
She said Melissa keeps it realand gets to the heart of the
stuff that holds us back.
Her episodes are packed withinsights that actually make a
(06:42):
difference.
When I heard that, I realized Idon't have to know all of the
things.
I just have to know a few morethings than the people who are
listening, and that is going tomake all the difference.
Lesson number two stopoverthinking everything.
Now I know this is easier saidthan done, but, as I mentioned
before, there was a point when Iresisted solo episodes because
(07:04):
I couldn't imagine talking for30 minutes by myself.
I had hired a podcast coach andshe had said why are you only
doing interviews?
You are essentially spendingall of this time and money
producing commercials for otherpeople.
Meanwhile, you're notpositioning yourself as the
expert.
And I thought, oh my God, butI'm not the expert, right?
So we already covered that inlesson number one.
(07:25):
But I also thought how am Igoing to come up with 30 minutes
worth of stuff to talk about?
And then she said who said theyhad to be 30 minutes long?
And my brain exploded Like, ohduh, no one.
I don't know where I came upwith that.
And we do this kind of stuffall the time, with podcasting,
social media, emails, speaking,whatever it is.
(07:47):
We overcomplicate things thatdon't need to be that
complicated.
I see it with women in thePowerful Women Rising community
constantly feeling likeeverything has to be perfect
before they share it or havingsome idea in their head of how
it's supposed to look or whatthey're supposed to have in
place before they can moveforward.
But perfection isn't requiredfor impact.
All you have to do is show upand whatever it is you're
(08:10):
telling yourself you need tohave before you can take that
next step.
It's probably not actually true, all right.
Lesson number three ask betterquestions.
It will make you better ateverything.
Podcasting has made me a betterconversationalist hands down,
and one of the biggest thingsthat I've learned is that when
you are having a conversationwith someone, you need to start
(08:31):
in their comfort zone.
I used to listen to podcastsand they would start with that
first question of like who areyou Tell us about you?
How did you get here?
How did you start your business?
And when I would listen tothose episodes, I would think
why do they ask that question?
That's probably the thing we're, like, the least interested in,
right?
Like, if you've invited someoneto be a guest on your podcast
and I love your podcast I'massuming that you have already
(08:54):
decided.
This person knows enough that Ishould listen to them, right?
So I don't really need them toestablish themselves as an
expert.
I'm gonna take your word for it.
What I wanna know is what dothey know that I don't know.
What actionable steps do theyhave?
What can they give me that Ihaven't thought about already?
Right, let's skip all thisbullshit in the beginning.
But what I realized is that whenpeople feel comfortable, they
(09:17):
are more willing to open up, andso if you start with a question
like that that they're supercomfortable answering.
Their answer is very familiarto them.
It helps give them some time toget comfortable with you and
then move into the meat of theconversation, where the good
stuff happens.
And I've started applying thatwhen I'm networking too and
(09:38):
having conversations with newpeople is that if I can start
them with a little bit of thatsmall talk, a little bit of that
like this is a really easyquestion to answer.
Then it's much easier for us tomove into the deeper stuff
about why they started theirbusiness, what they're
passionate about, what theirvalues are, what they're hoping
to achieve in the next yearright, about what their values
(09:58):
are, what they're hoping toachieve in the next year, right.
Good questions build connection.
In podcasting, in networking,in life.
When you can get people to openup, that is how you start to
build trust.
You make people feel seen andthat is the real secret to
networking in a way that doesn'tfeel sleazy.
Lesson number four your metricsdon't equal your mission.
Listen, it is easy to obsessover downloads and followers and
(10:23):
views and comments and all thethings, but if I only focused on
numbers, I would have quit thispodcast a long time ago.
And, believe me, there weretimes that I wanted to.
My business besties can attestto the number of conversations
that we had where I was like,okay, I think I'm done with this
podcast, like legit, ready tothrow in the towel because I
(10:44):
only got 150 downloads on anepisode.
But I had to remember that thatwas not why I started this
podcast.
I started this podcast to givewomen the kind of business
advice that I wish I'd hadbefore dropping 10K on a coach
that didn't do me any good.
I wanted to start this podcastbecause I wanted to create a
space for women to grow theirbusiness their way, not to have
(11:08):
to follow the cookie cutteradvice and try to become someone
that they're not comfortablebeing, because that's how
business works.
And I recently got atestimonial or a review that
said Melissa is a fantastic host.
It feels like she's trulygrowing a community of powerful
women via her podcast and I amhere for it and I just want to
(11:29):
say, live March.
Same girl, same.
I love this podcast because itfeels like a community, because,
even if I don't know who'slistening in Frankfurt, germany,
I still know that she's showingup every Monday and we're
having a conversation.
I know that all the times thatI say, hey, how's your week
going?
And I can't actually hear theresponse, I know that there is a
(11:53):
response and I keep doing thispodcast for that reason, and I
know that 150 downloads means150 women have decided that what
I have to say, or what myguests are sharing, is important
enough for them to tune in, andthat is huge.
Lesson number five collaborationsounds sexy, but it takes work
(12:16):
and it doesn't always work.
What I've learned is that notevery podcast guest turns into a
great collaborator.
I have had some people on thispodcast who have huge followings
, huge audiences, and I was soexcited when they agreed to come
on the podcast and then Ipromoted the shit out of their
(12:36):
episode and they never even oncementioned that they were on my
podcast.
I have also had to pull podcastepisodes because I realized
later that the people Iinterviewed didn't have values
that aligned with mine, and partof that is on me for not doing
my homework right.
I remember a long time ago whenI first met Connie Kircher,
(12:57):
who's been a guest on thispodcast.
I heard her speak and she wastalking about how to make
collaboration successful, andshe said something about how,
anytime someone wants tocollaborate with her, she always
tells them that sounds great.
Let's circle back on this in sixto 12 months, and at the time I
thought that is insane.
Who's going to wait six to 12months?
But what I realize is you haveto give yourself time to really
(13:20):
get to know that person, to seehow they work, how they promote
themselves, how they make sales,what they're all about.
Do they say that they valuecertain things, but then the way
they show up on social mediashows that they don't value
those things.
Maybe it's somebody that youwork with first before you start
promoting them to other people,and you realize this is
actually not the great situationI thought it was going to be.
(13:43):
So collaboration requires you todo your homework to make sure
that the person you arecollaborating with really is the
kind of person you want to becollaborating with, and I also
learned that collaboration hasto be mutual.
Lots of people want you topromote them, but they don't
want to promote you.
Sometimes it's because they seeyou as competition.
(14:04):
I've had people on this podcastwho do similar things to what I
do and I think that they don'tpromote the episode that they've
been on because they are afraidthat their people are going to
become my people.
Or they have their own podcastand they're afraid that they
will are going to become mypeople, or they have their own
podcast and they're afraid thatthey will lose their listeners
to me, and what I've realized isthat people like that just
(14:26):
aren't my people.
Real collaborators know thatcommunity over competition isn't
just a cute phrase on a coffeemug.
It's really something that youembody by living in abundance,
by recognizing that there isenough out there for all of us
and that if somebody wants tolisten to your podcast and mine,
(14:46):
super.
If someone is listening to mypodcast and then they discover
yours and they're like you knowwhat?
I only have 30 minutes a weekfor podcasts.
I'm going to go with this oneGreat.
I want them listening to yourpodcast because it is what is
going to go with this one.
Great.
I want them listening to yourpodcast because it is what is
going to help them the most, andwhen we focus on that and when
I find other people who arefocused on that, that's when I
(15:06):
know those are the people that Itruly want to collaborate with.
Lesson number six kind of goesalong with this one, and lesson
number six is not everyopportunity is a good
opportunity.
We fall into this trap a lot asbusiness owners, whether it is
looking for podcast guests,we're looking for someone to do
an email swap with, maybe wewant to do an online summit and
(15:27):
so we're looking forparticipants, and we fall into
the trap of thinking thatsomeone's audience size is equal
to the value they're going tobring to our thing.
I see this a lot when I'mapplying to be a guest on other
people's podcasts.
It's very common for one of theapplication questions to ask
about how big is your audienceon Instagram, how big is your
email list?
How many people do you havefollowing you on this?
(15:48):
Because we think that that isgoing to give us the better
opportunity.
But the reality is I have hadbig name guests with huge
followings who brought verylittle value to the podcast is.
I have had big name guests withhuge followings who brought
very little value to the podcastand I have had much lesser
known guests who broughtabsolute gold, and I'm not just
talking about audience size andtheir willingness to promote
their episodes, but I'm alsotalking about how much value
(16:11):
they gave in their interview.
I have had people who show upready to just share everything
that they know and everythingthat they know is going to be
the most helpful to thelisteners.
And then I've also had peopleshow up where it's very clear
that they are just here thinkingthis podcast interview is a
commercial for their stuff.
They're really just roundaboutpitching their products with
(16:32):
every question that they answer.
So it's really important topick your guests, pick your
collaborators and pick thepeople in your network based on
alignment, not audience size,not what you think that you can
get from them because they're abig name or they're well-known
or they have a lot of followers.
Ultimately, in the end, thereare a lot of things that matter
(16:53):
a lot more than that.
Lesson number seven consistencyis hard, but burnout is harder.
At one point I was feelingcompletely overwhelmed Okay, who
am I kidding?
At many points I feltcompletely overwhelmed by this
podcast.
It is a lot to juggle life andwork and podcasting.
And I remember at one pointventing to my coach about how
(17:14):
stressed I was and she said whydon't you just skip this week?
And I was like, wait, I can dothat.
I can just not record anepisode this week.
I mean, even today I'mrecording this episode at 11am
and it usually goes out at 6am.
But these are all rules thatwe've made up for ourselves.
Skipping one episode it doesn'terase your progress.
(17:36):
Putting an episode out at 11instead of 6 am is not going to
make someone be like well gosh,I'm never listening to that
podcast again.
Taking a break when you need todoesn't mean that you're failing
.
Perfectionism is very sneaky.
It's often the reason thatyou're stuck and it's often the
reason that you feel burnt outand struggle to be consistent.
(17:56):
Lesson number eight you have tobe willing to quote, unquote,
fail even when it's working.
Some of my episodes flopped.
Some episodes didn't land.
Some interviews I thought weregoing to be so popular and
hardly anyone listened.
Some solo episodes I thoughtthis is so juicy and they really
(18:17):
weren't that great.
And some were surprisinglysuccessful.
But you don't get to the goodstuff without going through that
messy middle.
You have to keep going evenwhen no one is clapping yet, you
have to clap for yourself untileveryone else catches up.
And that's what I remind myselfover and over again when I want
(18:38):
to quit.
I ask myself why did I startthis podcast?
What is in it for me, not justthe listener?
And if I'm enjoying the process, connecting with amazing women
and getting to say things thatmatter, then this podcast is a
success, no matter what thestatistics show.
Lesson number nine you will growinto the person you were
pretending to be.
When I started this podcast, Ihoped that people would think I
(19:01):
was an expert.
I hoped that they'd take meseriously, and now I know the
value that I have to offer.
And that growth didn't comefrom faking it.
It came from showing upimperfectly over and over again
and just seeing what happens.
So if you're sitting onsomething a podcast idea, a blog
, a course maybe it's your newbusiness that you haven't even
(19:24):
started yet.
Don't wait to be ready.
Just start.
I promise you will become whoyou need to be in the doing
process.
And finally, lesson number 10,people are listening, people are
watching, people are payingattention, people are noticing
you, even when you don't thinkthey are, as I mentioned in many
of these other episodes.
(19:45):
It's so easy to get caught up inthe metrics.
To get caught up in how metricsto get caught up in how many
people are buying your thing,how much money you made this
month, how many downloads yougot, how many new subscribers
there are.
And then you get a note from alistener that you didn't even
know existed and she says I justfound your podcast.
I've been binging it all day.
Thank you so much.
This is exactly what I needed.
(20:05):
And suddenly none of thosemetrics matter, right, because
you have impacted that oneperson and that is what you set
out to do.
I recently got to interview AlexSanfilippo for the podcast.
His episode hasn't come out yet, but he is the founder of
Podmatch and I have beenwatching him for a very long
time.
He's honestly like a podcastingGod, and after the interview he
(20:30):
left me a review that saidMelissa is an amazing podcast
host, a brilliantconversationalist who brings the
right amount of humor to herinterviews.
It is rare to meet a podcasterwho can do that, and I damn near
cried.
So the lesson here is you justnever know who's tuning in and
what they think.
You don't know who shows upweek after week to hear what you
(20:51):
have to say.
You don't know who reads everysingle one of your blog posts
but never comments on it.
You don't know who's lurkingout there, who is your biggest
fan, and you don't even know it.
Who's going to be your nextclient and you're not even ready
.
So keep talking, keep sharing,keep showing up, because there
is someone out there right nowwho needs to hear exactly what
(21:14):
you have to say.
Maybe today, maybe six monthsfrom now, but they're listening.
Okay, friends, there you have it10 lessons I have learned from
two years and a hundred episodesof the Powerful Women Rising
podcast.
I'm sure there are a lot more,so maybe I'll have to come in
with a part two, or maybe parttwo will be after 200 episodes.
In the meantime, thanks forcelebrating with me.
(21:37):
Here's to 100 episodes and toevery single one of you who's
tuned in, shared an episode,left a review or just quietly
listened in the car whilewondering if this business thing
is ever going to get easier.
If this podcast has helped youin any way, I'd love to hear
from you.
Leave a review, come say hi atour next virtual speed
networking event, or you canclick the link in the show notes
(21:59):
and buy me a coffee If you'refeeling generous and you want to
support the show.
I do love coffee.
Thank you for being there,thank you for making this show
what it is and thank you forletting me be fully
unapologetically me week afterweek.
Here's to the next 100 episodes.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
That's a wrap on this week's episode of Powerful
Women Rising.
Thanks for hanging out with us.
If you love the podcast, makesure to subscribe, share it with
a friend, write a review or buyus a coffee.
Your support helps more womenlike you step into their power
and grow their businesses in away that feels real and true to
them.
Want to keep the party going?
(22:39):
Check out the show notes fordetails on our next virtual
speed networking event, or joinus in the powerful Women Rising
community.
Until next time, remember thatbuilding a business your way is
the best way.
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