February 3, 2025 • 21 mins
Can you be TRULY authentic in business and still be taken seriously?
Authenticity is a word that gets tossed around a lot in business, but how do you balance showing up as yourself while also being seen as a professional?
Do you have to tone down your personality to be taken seriously? Is there a point where being "too real" causes people to lose trust in you?
In this episode, we’re breaking down the fine line between showing up as your true self and maintaining the credibility and respect you want.
We discuss:
- What authenticity really means (and what it doesn’t)
- How professionalism is about reliability, respect, and intentionality - not perfection
- The role your personal brand plays in how you show up
- How to avoid the common pitfalls of overthinking, overcompensating, or oversharing
If you've ever wrestled with the idea of how to be fully yourself in business without sabotaging your success, this episode is for you.
Links & References:
- Join us at our next PWR Virtual Speed Networking Event!
For even deeper connections, check out the Powerful Women Rising Community!
Loved the episode? Here are four ways you can show your support:
1. Buy me a coffee to show your appreciation!
2. Leave a five-star review
3. DM me on Instagram and let me know
4. Share it with a friend!
Connect with Your Host!
Melissa Snow is a Business Relationship Strategist dedicated to empowering women in entrepreneurship. She founded the Powerful Women Rising Community, which provides female business owners with essential support and resources for business growth.
Melissa's other mission is to revolutionize networking, promoting authenticity and genuine connections over sleazy sales tactics. She runs an incredible monthly Virtual Speed Networking Event which you can attend once at no cost using the code FIRSTTIME
She lives in Colorado Springs with two girl dogs, two boy cats and any number of foster kittens. She loves iced coffee, Taylor Swift, and Threads.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Welcome to Powerful Women Rising, a podcast for
female entrepreneurs ready to dobusiness their way.
Grab your coffee and join hostMelissa Snow, business
relationship strategist andfounder of the Powerful Women
Rising community, as sheinterviews industry experts and
shares insights on strategy,marketing, mindset and more.
(00:25):
Here you'll find the tools,strategies and inspiration you
need to feel empowered, takebold action in your business and
keep rising.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode
of the Powerful Women RisingPodcast.
I'm your host, melissa Snow,and I am excited to be here with
you today, on this lovelyMonday morning.
How is everyone doing?
Are you having a great week?
Do you love it when podcasthosts ask you questions like you
can actually answer and you arelike what am I supposed to do
(00:56):
with this question?
You can't hear my answer.
I don't know why we do that.
Why are we like this?
I don't know.
Anyway, if this is your firsttime tuning into the podcast,
welcome.
Excited to have you here.
I am a business relationshipstrategist.
What does that mean?
Well, it's something that Iinvented and basically it means
I help people figure out how tonetwork like humans and not like
(01:19):
salesy weirdos.
I help you actually enjoynetworking.
I help you actually enjoynetworking, regardless of who
you are, and I help you actuallymake networking work for you.
I love it when I meet peoplewho either hate networking or
they don't think networkingworks, or they just think
they're really bad at it.
(01:39):
Those are my three favoritepeople, because there are
solutions for all of thoseproblems.
There's reasons that you'refeeling that way and I love
helping you see a different way.
So I do that, and I also run anonline community called the
Powerful Women Rising Community,which is a group for female
entrepreneurs, and we grow ourbusinesses together and it's
(02:00):
super fun.
So that's me.
Now tell me about you.
No, I'm just kidding, I wantedto go with the whole like why do
I ask you a question?
I can't hear the answer totheme, but if you really want to
answer that question, I wouldlove to hear the answer.
You can find me over onInstagram.
I hang out there a lot actuallyhang out on threads a lot but
(02:21):
there's no DM option on threads,so you're gonna have to DM me
on Instagram and tell me aboutyou.
All right, let's dive intotoday's episode.
This is a really great topicthat I think I probably am going
to have to do multiple parts on, because there's quite a bit to
it, but I want to talk todayabout something that I think a
lot of people struggle with whenit comes to networking and just
(02:43):
business in general, and thatis the idea of balancing
authenticity and professionalism.
So the idea of how do you showup as your true self when you
also want to come across as aprofessional and be taken
seriously, and how do you comeacross as a professional and be
taken seriously without feelinglike you are playing a role or
(03:07):
putting on a mask?
So I want to start this episodeby just asking you a couple
questions, and I know you can'tanswer the question, so I want
you to just think about theanswer in your mind.
When I tell you to think ofsomeone that you know who is a
true professional, or when Itell you to imagine a very
professional environment, who orwhat comes to mind initially?
(03:29):
And I want you to think aboutwhat the qualities are that make
this person or this environmentprofessional in your opinion.
Then I want you to do the samething with the word authenticity
when I tell you to think ofsomeone who is truly authentic.
Same thing with the wordauthenticity when I tell you to
think of someone who is trulyauthentic, who comes to mind and
what is it about that personthat makes them truly authentic
(03:51):
to you?
And I think those are veryimportant questions to ask
yourself right off the bat,because that's going to help you
combat some of the myths thatyour subconscious might have
about what it means to be aprofessional, about what it
means to be a professional andwhat it means to be authentic,
because I think a lot of timeswe do things and think like, oh,
(04:11):
that wasn't very professional.
People must not take meseriously because I just made
that joke, right.
But when you think about it interms of other people, if
someone else made that joke,would you be like, oh God, she's
not very professional?
I mean, depending on the joke,maybe you would.
But I think it helps to thinkof it in the context of other
people, because typically we'rejudging ourselves a lot harder
(04:32):
than we're judging anyone else.
So think about what you see asprofessional and what you see is
authentic, and would you saythat the person you thought of
who is most authentic is alsoprofessional?
And would you say that theperson you thought of who is
most authentic is alsoprofessional?
And would you say that theperson that you thought of as
the most professional is alsoauthentic.
(04:52):
And really thinking about whyor why not, I think is going to
be a really helpful startingpoint for you on this topic.
So, on that note, I want to talka little bit about what
authenticity really means andwhat it actually doesn't mean,
because I think there's a lot ofmisconceptions about this too.
I think authenticity is one ofthose words that gets thrown
around a lot and we like to useit as a buzzword, but we don't
(05:15):
often think about what thatreally means and what it really
looks like for us.
So, for purposes of thispodcast, when I'm talking about
authenticity, I'm talking aboutshowing up as who you truly are.
And so what does that actuallymean?
Well, think about the timeswhen you feel the most
comfortable, the times that youfeel the most yourself, the
(05:37):
people that you're with or thecircumstances that you're in,
when you feel like you don'thave to censor yourself.
You don't have to think aboutwhat people are going to think
if you say or do something.
You just are yourself.
And these are probably also thetimes that you feel the most
peace, the most calm, the mostjoy.
That is the core of who youtruly are.
(05:58):
It's about your personality.
It's about your values.
It's about your opinions andyour thoughts.
It's about your energy.
It's about your opinions andyour thoughts.
It's about your energy.
It's about who you are whennobody is watching.
What authenticity is is honestyand consistency and being real
in your interactions.
What authenticity is not isoversharing, showing up with
(06:22):
this raw truth about all of yourchildhood traumas.
It's not about being unprepared.
It's not about showing up as ahot ass mess when people are
counting on you and depending onyou.
That is not authenticity.
Authenticity is about the coreof who you are, and you can
still be that person while alsomaintaining a sense of
(06:43):
professionalism.
You can still be that personwhile also maintaining a sense
of professionalism.
Authenticity goes beyond beingopen or truthful.
It's really this delicatebalance between sharing who you
truly are and also adapting tothe expectations, the unwritten
rules, the professional conductthat is expected in whatever
environment you're in.
And obviously this is going tobe different depending on what
(07:04):
environment you're in.
And obviously this is gonna bedifferent depending on what
environment you're in.
But, for example, if you are alife coach, being authentic
doesn't mean airing yourpersonal struggles on a client
call, even if they just happenedfive minutes before you got on
the call.
It's okay for you to sharerelatable stories, but your
client is there to get help, notto hear about your problems and
(07:25):
be your therapist.
So authenticity in that contextmeans showing up with integrity
and being present for thepeople that you are connecting
with.
Studies show that over 80% ofindividuals highly value
genuineness and being able toexpress their true selves in a
relationship, and this is oftenlinked to deeper connection,
(07:45):
trust and overall relationshipsatisfaction.
That said, it is actuallyimpossible to be 100% authentic
100% of the time.
There are going to be timeswhen the emotions that you feel
are misaligned with the rulesembedded in a certain situation
and you're going to have toengage in some surface acting to
portray more appropriateemotions for the setting.
(08:08):
That is a normal part of lifeand does not make you
inauthentic.
Also, keeping things privatedoes not make you inauthentic.
There's a very distinctdifference between those things.
So I want to make sure thatyou're clear on that.
And then I want to talk aboutwhat professionalism really
means, because I think sometimes, when we think of someone being
(08:28):
a professional, it's this verylike perfect, stiff, stick up
their ass kind of thing.
Right, and that's notnecessarily what professionalism
is, at least not the kind ofprofessionalism that I'm
interested in.
It's not really about wearing ablazer if that's not your style
.
It's about being reliable,respectful, prepared and being
(08:52):
intentional about how youpresent yourself.
It's not just showing up flyingby the seat of your pants and
saying whatever comes out ofyour mind and you know being
completely all over the place.
Professionalism is about timing.
It's about discretion.
It's about knowing when toshare, when to listen, when to
(09:13):
stand firm on your values, whento accommodate other people's
ideals.
For instance, you can crack ajoke in a meeting and still be
professional, as long as it's anappropriate joke and it aligns
with your personality.
So professionalism really isabout being able to understand
the context, knowing youraudience and showing up in a way
(09:34):
that builds trust andconfidence with those people,
without pretending to be someonethat you're not.
So let's talk about some of theways that you can find the
balance between being authenticand also being professional.
The first thing, I think, isknowing your brand.
Your personal brand is whathelps you align authentically
(09:55):
and professionally.
So, for example, if humor ispart of your brand, you can let
that shine.
Go ahead and be funny, butdon't let it overshadow your
expertise.
Don't be the person who is sofunny that no one realizes that
you actually have something ofvalue to say.
I was at a women's businessconference once.
There were about 400 womenthere, and one of the evenings
(10:19):
there was a party essentiallyfor everyone who was attending
the conference, and one of myfriends was she's a coach.
She's a great coach and she wasserving on kind of the welcome
committee for this party.
So she was standing outside theparty she was welcoming people
in.
She's one of the funniestpeople I know and, you know, a
(10:39):
bit ridiculous, but it's funny.
And I remember somebody came upto her that night and asked her
how she expected to ever betaken seriously as a coach when
she acted the way that she wasacting.
And so I tell you this storybecause I think it's really
relevant to this idea ofauthenticity and professionalism
(10:59):
.
Because, first of all, sheunderstood the assignment, she
knew where she was.
She wasn't in a boardroom, shewasn't presenting a workshop,
she wasn't one-on-one with aclient, she was welcoming people
into a party on a Friday night,right, and so a very
appropriate time to beridiculous and hilarious.
The other thing about this iswhen you sat down and had a
(11:22):
conversation with her one-on-oneabout her business, about the
kinds of things that she coachedon, about who she was as a
person and what her expertisewas, you could always see her
brilliance.
You could always see how smartand well-trained and
well-practiced and amazinglyprofessional she was.
So it wasn't like she was justalways so funny that everybody
(11:46):
was like what does this ladyeven do?
Like, does she even knowanything other than how to be
funny?
So that's exactly what I'mtalking about when I say know
your brand and also know youraudience and be able to adapt.
Being authentic doesn't meanthat you can't adjust based on
your audience.
If you're at a formalnetworking event, you're
(12:06):
probably going to tone down themore casual vibe, but that
doesn't mean that you're fakingit.
It doesn't mean that you'repretending to be somebody that
you're not.
You're just respecting thecontext of where you're at.
Another thing that I recommendwhen it comes to balancing the
two is focusing on connection.
Networking, which is reallyjust anything that you're doing,
(12:29):
that's connecting with anotherperson, isn't about being the
most polished person in the room.
It is about formingrelationships.
And, honestly, being the mostpolished, perfect person in the
room probably makes you theleast approachable person in the
room.
So, if you want to form thesegenuine connections with people,
show up as your authentic self,show genuine interest in other
(12:52):
people, and you will come acrossboth as authentic and
professional.
And the other thing that Irecommend is practicing
vulnerability with boundaries,and here's what I mean by that.
Being authentic and professionalrequires a balance of
vulnerability and also respectfor other people's boundaries.
(13:13):
So your goal is to engage withother people without
overstepping or oversharing orblurring the lines of
professional boundaries.
So, for example, if you meetsomebody at a networking event,
you agree to have coffee withthem.
It might be overstepping totell them everything that you
think is wrong with how they'rerunning their business, unless
(13:34):
maybe they've asked which Idon't imagine, that they would.
On the flip side, you can stillshow up authentically by saying
something like oh man, I'mhaving such a rough day or do
you also find it hard to staymotivated in business when
you're struggling in yourpersonal life?
Right, things like that showyour vulnerability, they show
your human side, but they're notjust you being completely
(13:57):
unguarded and raw and open andmaking the other person
uncomfortable.
It's about sharing thoseinsights and inviting a personal
connection without compromisingyour professionalism or
overstepping other people'sboundaries.
Now there's a couple things thatI want to touch on, also when
it comes to things to avoid.
(14:19):
When you're trying to balanceauthenticity and professionalism
, that is overthinking.
When you're trying to balanceauthenticity and professionalism
, that is overthinking,overcompensating and using
authenticity as an excuse.
So what I mean when I talkabout overthinking is if you're
constantly second-guessing howyou're coming across, how people
are perceiving you, whetherpeople take you seriously, if
other people know that you're animposter because you're
(14:41):
struggling with your impostersyndrome, if you are always in
your head about that and tryingto control what other people are
thinking and feeling about you,you are going to come across
inauthentic.
So the best thing that you cando is relax, trust yourself and
trust that the people who aremeant for you are going to be
(15:01):
attracted to you and the peoplewho are not meant for you are
not going to be attracted to you.
That's exactly how thisauthenticity thing works.
What I talk about when I'mtalking about overcompensating
is trying too hard to seemprofessional, which can come
across as stiff andunapproachable.
People want to connect withhumans.
They don't want to connect withrobots.
(15:23):
So don't overcompensate forwhatever insecurity that you're
having by trying to come acrossas very professional, because
it's going to come across verycold and awkward and difficult
to connect with.
And then the last thing Imentioned was using authenticity
as an excuse.
So sometimes people say I'mjust being authentic to justify
(15:46):
behavior that's actuallyunprofessional or inappropriate
right, being late to a meeting,being unprepared for a
presentation, saying somethingshitty to somebody, that's not
you being authentic, that's youbeing unprofessional.
I think we all know thosepeople that are like, well, I
just say it how it is.
(16:06):
Okay, yes, and also you're kindof rude, right?
So being authentic is not anexcuse for being rude, being
unprepared or beingunprofessional in some other way
.
Okay, I want to give you acouple real world examples to
illustrate the balance betweenauthenticity and professionalism
, because sometimes I think thiscan come across very abstract
(16:30):
and it's like OK, but how doesthis actually play out in my
life?
So let's say you're at anetworking event and somebody
asks about your business.
An authentic response is goingto show your passion and your
excitement and professionalismis going to mean presenting it
in a clear and concise way thatshows you've actually thought
about your answer to thisquestion and you know how to
(16:53):
explain what you do and whatyour business is all about
without being a salesy weirdo.
The opposite of that would besharing an authentic response
that is about how terrible yourbusiness is, how you just got
screwed over by somebody thatyou thought you could trust, and
how your last three clientsjust fired you and so-and-so
(17:15):
left you a terrible review.
Right, that might be authentic,that might be how you're
feeling about your businessright now, but it's not a
professional response.
So that is the balance.
Here's another example You'resending a follow-up email after
you meet somebody at anetworking event.
Being authentic is about addingthat personal touch,
referencing something that youtalked to that person about,
(17:38):
referring to where you met themor some shared interests that
you discussed.
Maybe it is about sending themsomething that is of value to
them, related to something thatyou talked about.
And making that professionalmeans that the email is well
written, it includes a clearcall to action, it doesn't have
(17:58):
a bunch of typos, it's notconfusing and weird.
So that is the balance betweenhaving that personal authentic
touch and also making sure it'sprofessional.
The last example I want to giveyou is social media, and this is
a whole other can of worms thatI'm not even sure I want to
open right now.
But authenticity might meansomething like posting a behind
(18:20):
the scenes look at your business.
But being professional when youdo that means making sure that
that post aligns with your brandvoice and your messaging.
It's not a behind the scenespicture of you crying because
something terrible just happenedin your business.
It's not a behind the scenesreel that talks about how you
(18:43):
just had this horribly traumaticexperience and now you are
still trying to run yourbusiness right.
You may be able to convey thosethings in a way that is
professional, but you want tomake sure that the way that
you're talking about it has apurpose and that the purpose is
aligned with your brand voiceand your messaging.
(19:04):
So, as you go out into theworld this week, I want you to
really think about the spaceswhere you feel like you're
showing up most authenticallyand the places where you feel
like you're showing up mostprofessional, and are those
places the same or not?
And if they're not, what is itabout the places where you feel
the most authentic and theplaces where you feel the most
(19:24):
authentic and the places whereyou feel the most professional?
That allows you to feel thatway in those spaces, and can you
incorporate some of one intothe other?
And I want you to keep in mindthat balancing authenticity and
professionalism isn't aboutchoosing one or the other.
You can and should be both atthe same time, showing up as
(19:45):
your real, imperfect self, butalso as someone who values other
people's time, other people'senergy, other people's
boundaries and other people'strust is huge.
When you can master thatbalance, networking stops
feeling like a chore and itstarts feeling more like a
natural extension of who you are.
(20:06):
If this episode resonated withyou, I would love to hear your
thoughts.
If you have questions aboutlike okay, but what about in
this situation?
I love to hear those questionsbecause there's nothing I hate
more.
Well, there's a lot of things Ihate more, but one thing I
don't love is listening to apodcast and hearing a great idea
but then also being like Idon't know how that actually
(20:26):
gets put into practice.
So if you encounter a scenariowhere you're like was this
authentic and not professional,or how could I have been more
authentic in this situationwhile still being professional,
I would love to hear thoseexperiences.
So connect with me over onInstagram, send me a contact
through my website and shareyour favorite takeaway, share
(20:49):
your question, or let's justconnect.
In the meantime, remember tonetwork like a human and not
like a salesy weirdo, becausethat is part of the magic of
authenticity and professionalismworking together.
I will see you next time.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
That's a wrap on this week's episode of Powerful
Women Rising.
Thanks for hanging out with us.
If you love the podcast, makesure to subscribe, share it with
a friend, write a review or buyus a coffee.
Your support helps more womenlike you step into their power
and grow their businesses in away that feels real and true to
them.
Want to keep the party going?
(21:28):
Check out the show notes fordetails on our next virtual
speed networking event or joinus in the powerful women rising
community.
Until next time, remember thatbuilding a business your way is
the best way.
Welcome to Powerful Women Rising, a podcast for
female entrepreneurs ready to dobusiness their way.
Grab your coffee and join hostMelissa Snow, business
relationship strategist andfounder of the Powerful Women
Rising community, as sheinterviews industry experts and
shares insights on strategy,marketing, mindset and more.
(00:25):
Here you'll find the tools,strategies and inspiration you
need to feel empowered, takebold action in your business and
keep rising.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode
of the Powerful Women RisingPodcast.
I'm your host, melissa Snow,and I am excited to be here with
you today, on this lovelyMonday morning.
How is everyone doing?
Are you having a great week?
Do you love it when podcasthosts ask you questions like you
can actually answer and you arelike what am I supposed to do
(00:56):
with this question?
You can't hear my answer.
I don't know why we do that.
Why are we like this?
I don't know.
Anyway, if this is your firsttime tuning into the podcast,
welcome.
Excited to have you here.
I am a business relationshipstrategist.
What does that mean?
Well, it's something that Iinvented and basically it means
I help people figure out how tonetwork like humans and not like
(01:19):
salesy weirdos.
I help you actually enjoynetworking.
I help you actually enjoynetworking, regardless of who
you are, and I help you actuallymake networking work for you.
I love it when I meet peoplewho either hate networking or
they don't think networkingworks, or they just think
they're really bad at it.
(01:39):
Those are my three favoritepeople, because there are
solutions for all of thoseproblems.
There's reasons that you'refeeling that way and I love
helping you see a different way.
So I do that, and I also run anonline community called the
Powerful Women Rising Community,which is a group for female
entrepreneurs, and we grow ourbusinesses together and it's
(02:00):
super fun.
So that's me.
Now tell me about you.
No, I'm just kidding, I wantedto go with the whole like why do
I ask you a question?
I can't hear the answer totheme, but if you really want to
answer that question, I wouldlove to hear the answer.
You can find me over onInstagram.
I hang out there a lot actuallyhang out on threads a lot but
(02:21):
there's no DM option on threads,so you're gonna have to DM me
on Instagram and tell me aboutyou.
All right, let's dive intotoday's episode.
This is a really great topicthat I think I probably am going
to have to do multiple parts on, because there's quite a bit to
it, but I want to talk todayabout something that I think a
lot of people struggle with whenit comes to networking and just
(02:43):
business in general, and thatis the idea of balancing
authenticity and professionalism.
So the idea of how do you showup as your true self when you
also want to come across as aprofessional and be taken
seriously, and how do you comeacross as a professional and be
taken seriously without feelinglike you are playing a role or
(03:07):
putting on a mask?
So I want to start this episodeby just asking you a couple
questions, and I know you can'tanswer the question, so I want
you to just think about theanswer in your mind.
When I tell you to think ofsomeone that you know who is a
true professional, or when Itell you to imagine a very
professional environment, who orwhat comes to mind initially?
(03:29):
And I want you to think aboutwhat the qualities are that make
this person or this environmentprofessional in your opinion.
Then I want you to do the samething with the word authenticity
when I tell you to think ofsomeone who is truly authentic.
Same thing with the wordauthenticity when I tell you to
think of someone who is trulyauthentic, who comes to mind and
what is it about that personthat makes them truly authentic
(03:51):
to you?
And I think those are veryimportant questions to ask
yourself right off the bat,because that's going to help you
combat some of the myths thatyour subconscious might have
about what it means to be aprofessional, about what it
means to be a professional andwhat it means to be authentic,
because I think a lot of timeswe do things and think like, oh,
(04:11):
that wasn't very professional.
People must not take meseriously because I just made
that joke, right.
But when you think about it interms of other people, if
someone else made that joke,would you be like, oh God, she's
not very professional?
I mean, depending on the joke,maybe you would.
But I think it helps to thinkof it in the context of other
people, because typically we'rejudging ourselves a lot harder
(04:32):
than we're judging anyone else.
So think about what you see asprofessional and what you see is
authentic, and would you saythat the person you thought of
who is most authentic is alsoprofessional?
And would you say that theperson you thought of who is
most authentic is alsoprofessional?
And would you say that theperson that you thought of as
the most professional is alsoauthentic.
(04:52):
And really thinking about whyor why not, I think is going to
be a really helpful startingpoint for you on this topic.
So, on that note, I want to talka little bit about what
authenticity really means andwhat it actually doesn't mean,
because I think there's a lot ofmisconceptions about this too.
I think authenticity is one ofthose words that gets thrown
around a lot and we like to useit as a buzzword, but we don't
(05:15):
often think about what thatreally means and what it really
looks like for us.
So, for purposes of thispodcast, when I'm talking about
authenticity, I'm talking aboutshowing up as who you truly are.
And so what does that actuallymean?
Well, think about the timeswhen you feel the most
comfortable, the times that youfeel the most yourself, the
(05:37):
people that you're with or thecircumstances that you're in,
when you feel like you don'thave to censor yourself.
You don't have to think aboutwhat people are going to think
if you say or do something.
You just are yourself.
And these are probably also thetimes that you feel the most
peace, the most calm, the mostjoy.
That is the core of who youtruly are.
(05:58):
It's about your personality.
It's about your values.
It's about your opinions andyour thoughts.
It's about your energy.
It's about your opinions andyour thoughts.
It's about your energy.
It's about who you are whennobody is watching.
What authenticity is is honestyand consistency and being real
in your interactions.
What authenticity is not isoversharing, showing up with
(06:22):
this raw truth about all of yourchildhood traumas.
It's not about being unprepared.
It's not about showing up as ahot ass mess when people are
counting on you and depending onyou.
That is not authenticity.
Authenticity is about the coreof who you are, and you can
still be that person while alsomaintaining a sense of
(06:43):
professionalism.
You can still be that personwhile also maintaining a sense
of professionalism.
Authenticity goes beyond beingopen or truthful.
It's really this delicatebalance between sharing who you
truly are and also adapting tothe expectations, the unwritten
rules, the professional conductthat is expected in whatever
environment you're in.
And obviously this is going tobe different depending on what
(07:04):
environment you're in.
And obviously this is gonna bedifferent depending on what
environment you're in.
But, for example, if you are alife coach, being authentic
doesn't mean airing yourpersonal struggles on a client
call, even if they just happenedfive minutes before you got on
the call.
It's okay for you to sharerelatable stories, but your
client is there to get help, notto hear about your problems and
(07:25):
be your therapist.
So authenticity in that contextmeans showing up with integrity
and being present for thepeople that you are connecting
with.
Studies show that over 80% ofindividuals highly value
genuineness and being able toexpress their true selves in a
relationship, and this is oftenlinked to deeper connection,
(07:45):
trust and overall relationshipsatisfaction.
That said, it is actuallyimpossible to be 100% authentic
100% of the time.
There are going to be timeswhen the emotions that you feel
are misaligned with the rulesembedded in a certain situation
and you're going to have toengage in some surface acting to
portray more appropriateemotions for the setting.
(08:08):
That is a normal part of lifeand does not make you
inauthentic.
Also, keeping things privatedoes not make you inauthentic.
There's a very distinctdifference between those things.
So I want to make sure thatyou're clear on that.
And then I want to talk aboutwhat professionalism really
means, because I think sometimes, when we think of someone being
(08:28):
a professional, it's this verylike perfect, stiff, stick up
their ass kind of thing.
Right, and that's notnecessarily what professionalism
is, at least not the kind ofprofessionalism that I'm
interested in.
It's not really about wearing ablazer if that's not your style
.
It's about being reliable,respectful, prepared and being
(08:52):
intentional about how youpresent yourself.
It's not just showing up flyingby the seat of your pants and
saying whatever comes out ofyour mind and you know being
completely all over the place.
Professionalism is about timing.
It's about discretion.
It's about knowing when toshare, when to listen, when to
(09:13):
stand firm on your values, whento accommodate other people's
ideals.
For instance, you can crack ajoke in a meeting and still be
professional, as long as it's anappropriate joke and it aligns
with your personality.
So professionalism really isabout being able to understand
the context, knowing youraudience and showing up in a way
(09:34):
that builds trust andconfidence with those people,
without pretending to be someonethat you're not.
So let's talk about some of theways that you can find the
balance between being authenticand also being professional.
The first thing, I think, isknowing your brand.
Your personal brand is whathelps you align authentically
(09:55):
and professionally.
So, for example, if humor ispart of your brand, you can let
that shine.
Go ahead and be funny, butdon't let it overshadow your
expertise.
Don't be the person who is sofunny that no one realizes that
you actually have something ofvalue to say.
I was at a women's businessconference once.
There were about 400 womenthere, and one of the evenings
(10:19):
there was a party essentiallyfor everyone who was attending
the conference, and one of myfriends was she's a coach.
She's a great coach and she wasserving on kind of the welcome
committee for this party.
So she was standing outside theparty she was welcoming people
in.
She's one of the funniestpeople I know and, you know, a
(10:39):
bit ridiculous, but it's funny.
And I remember somebody came upto her that night and asked her
how she expected to ever betaken seriously as a coach when
she acted the way that she wasacting.
And so I tell you this storybecause I think it's really
relevant to this idea ofauthenticity and professionalism
(10:59):
.
Because, first of all, sheunderstood the assignment, she
knew where she was.
She wasn't in a boardroom, shewasn't presenting a workshop,
she wasn't one-on-one with aclient, she was welcoming people
into a party on a Friday night,right, and so a very
appropriate time to beridiculous and hilarious.
The other thing about this iswhen you sat down and had a
(11:22):
conversation with her one-on-oneabout her business, about the
kinds of things that she coachedon, about who she was as a
person and what her expertisewas, you could always see her
brilliance.
You could always see how smartand well-trained and
well-practiced and amazinglyprofessional she was.
So it wasn't like she was justalways so funny that everybody
(11:46):
was like what does this ladyeven do?
Like, does she even knowanything other than how to be
funny?
So that's exactly what I'mtalking about when I say know
your brand and also know youraudience and be able to adapt.
Being authentic doesn't meanthat you can't adjust based on
your audience.
If you're at a formalnetworking event, you're
(12:06):
probably going to tone down themore casual vibe, but that
doesn't mean that you're fakingit.
It doesn't mean that you'repretending to be somebody that
you're not.
You're just respecting thecontext of where you're at.
Another thing that I recommendwhen it comes to balancing the
two is focusing on connection.
Networking, which is reallyjust anything that you're doing,
(12:29):
that's connecting with anotherperson, isn't about being the
most polished person in the room.
It is about formingrelationships.
And, honestly, being the mostpolished, perfect person in the
room probably makes you theleast approachable person in the
room.
So, if you want to form thesegenuine connections with people,
show up as your authentic self,show genuine interest in other
(12:52):
people, and you will come acrossboth as authentic and
professional.
And the other thing that Irecommend is practicing
vulnerability with boundaries,and here's what I mean by that.
Being authentic and professionalrequires a balance of
vulnerability and also respectfor other people's boundaries.
(13:13):
So your goal is to engage withother people without
overstepping or oversharing orblurring the lines of
professional boundaries.
So, for example, if you meetsomebody at a networking event,
you agree to have coffee withthem.
It might be overstepping totell them everything that you
think is wrong with how they'rerunning their business, unless
(13:34):
maybe they've asked which Idon't imagine, that they would.
On the flip side, you can stillshow up authentically by saying
something like oh man, I'mhaving such a rough day or do
you also find it hard to staymotivated in business when
you're struggling in yourpersonal life?
Right, things like that showyour vulnerability, they show
your human side, but they're notjust you being completely
(13:57):
unguarded and raw and open andmaking the other person
uncomfortable.
It's about sharing thoseinsights and inviting a personal
connection without compromisingyour professionalism or
overstepping other people'sboundaries.
Now there's a couple things thatI want to touch on, also when
it comes to things to avoid.
(14:19):
When you're trying to balanceauthenticity and professionalism
, that is overthinking.
When you're trying to balanceauthenticity and professionalism
, that is overthinking,overcompensating and using
authenticity as an excuse.
So what I mean when I talkabout overthinking is if you're
constantly second-guessing howyou're coming across, how people
are perceiving you, whetherpeople take you seriously, if
other people know that you're animposter because you're
(14:41):
struggling with your impostersyndrome, if you are always in
your head about that and tryingto control what other people are
thinking and feeling about you,you are going to come across
inauthentic.
So the best thing that you cando is relax, trust yourself and
trust that the people who aremeant for you are going to be
(15:01):
attracted to you and the peoplewho are not meant for you are
not going to be attracted to you.
That's exactly how thisauthenticity thing works.
What I talk about when I'mtalking about overcompensating
is trying too hard to seemprofessional, which can come
across as stiff andunapproachable.
People want to connect withhumans.
They don't want to connect withrobots.
(15:23):
So don't overcompensate forwhatever insecurity that you're
having by trying to come acrossas very professional, because
it's going to come across verycold and awkward and difficult
to connect with.
And then the last thing Imentioned was using authenticity
as an excuse.
So sometimes people say I'mjust being authentic to justify
(15:46):
behavior that's actuallyunprofessional or inappropriate
right, being late to a meeting,being unprepared for a
presentation, saying somethingshitty to somebody, that's not
you being authentic, that's youbeing unprofessional.
I think we all know thosepeople that are like, well, I
just say it how it is.
(16:06):
Okay, yes, and also you're kindof rude, right?
So being authentic is not anexcuse for being rude, being
unprepared or beingunprofessional in some other way
.
Okay, I want to give you acouple real world examples to
illustrate the balance betweenauthenticity and professionalism
, because sometimes I think thiscan come across very abstract
(16:30):
and it's like OK, but how doesthis actually play out in my
life?
So let's say you're at anetworking event and somebody
asks about your business.
An authentic response is goingto show your passion and your
excitement and professionalismis going to mean presenting it
in a clear and concise way thatshows you've actually thought
about your answer to thisquestion and you know how to
(16:53):
explain what you do and whatyour business is all about
without being a salesy weirdo.
The opposite of that would besharing an authentic response
that is about how terrible yourbusiness is, how you just got
screwed over by somebody thatyou thought you could trust, and
how your last three clientsjust fired you and so-and-so
(17:15):
left you a terrible review.
Right, that might be authentic,that might be how you're
feeling about your businessright now, but it's not a
professional response.
So that is the balance.
Here's another example You'resending a follow-up email after
you meet somebody at anetworking event.
Being authentic is about addingthat personal touch,
referencing something that youtalked to that person about,
(17:38):
referring to where you met themor some shared interests that
you discussed.
Maybe it is about sending themsomething that is of value to
them, related to something thatyou talked about.
And making that professionalmeans that the email is well
written, it includes a clearcall to action, it doesn't have
(17:58):
a bunch of typos, it's notconfusing and weird.
So that is the balance betweenhaving that personal authentic
touch and also making sure it'sprofessional.
The last example I want to giveyou is social media, and this is
a whole other can of worms thatI'm not even sure I want to
open right now.
But authenticity might meansomething like posting a behind
(18:20):
the scenes look at your business.
But being professional when youdo that means making sure that
that post aligns with your brandvoice and your messaging.
It's not a behind the scenespicture of you crying because
something terrible just happenedin your business.
It's not a behind the scenesreel that talks about how you
(18:43):
just had this horribly traumaticexperience and now you are
still trying to run yourbusiness right.
You may be able to convey thosethings in a way that is
professional, but you want tomake sure that the way that
you're talking about it has apurpose and that the purpose is
aligned with your brand voiceand your messaging.
(19:04):
So, as you go out into theworld this week, I want you to
really think about the spaceswhere you feel like you're
showing up most authenticallyand the places where you feel
like you're showing up mostprofessional, and are those
places the same or not?
And if they're not, what is itabout the places where you feel
the most authentic and theplaces where you feel the most
(19:24):
authentic and the places whereyou feel the most professional?
That allows you to feel thatway in those spaces, and can you
incorporate some of one intothe other?
And I want you to keep in mindthat balancing authenticity and
professionalism isn't aboutchoosing one or the other.
You can and should be both atthe same time, showing up as
(19:45):
your real, imperfect self, butalso as someone who values other
people's time, other people'senergy, other people's
boundaries and other people'strust is huge.
When you can master thatbalance, networking stops
feeling like a chore and itstarts feeling more like a
natural extension of who you are.
(20:06):
If this episode resonated withyou, I would love to hear your
thoughts.
If you have questions aboutlike okay, but what about in
this situation?
I love to hear those questionsbecause there's nothing I hate
more.
Well, there's a lot of things Ihate more, but one thing I
don't love is listening to apodcast and hearing a great idea
but then also being like Idon't know how that actually
(20:26):
gets put into practice.
So if you encounter a scenariowhere you're like was this
authentic and not professional,or how could I have been more
authentic in this situationwhile still being professional,
I would love to hear thoseexperiences.
So connect with me over onInstagram, send me a contact
through my website and shareyour favorite takeaway, share
(20:49):
your question, or let's justconnect.
In the meantime, remember tonetwork like a human and not
like a salesy weirdo, becausethat is part of the magic of
authenticity and professionalismworking together.
I will see you next time.
Speaker 1 (21:08):
That's a wrap on this week's episode of Powerful
Women Rising.
Thanks for hanging out with us.
If you love the podcast, makesure to subscribe, share it with
a friend, write a review or buyus a coffee.
Your support helps more womenlike you step into their power
and grow their businesses in away that feels real and true to
them.
Want to keep the party going?
(21:28):
Check out the show notes fordetails on our next virtual
speed networking event or joinus in the powerful women rising
community.
Until next time, remember thatbuilding a business your way is
the best way.
Popular Podcasts
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy And Charlamagne Tha God!
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
Decisions, Decisions
Welcome to "Decisions, Decisions," the podcast where boundaries are pushed, and conversations get candid! Join your favorite hosts, Mandii B and WeezyWTF, as they dive deep into the world of non-traditional relationships and explore the often-taboo topics surrounding dating, sex, and love. Every Monday, Mandii and Weezy invite you to unlearn the outdated narratives dictated by traditional patriarchal norms. With a blend of humor, vulnerability, and authenticity, they share their personal journeys navigating their 30s, tackling the complexities of modern relationships, and engaging in thought-provoking discussions that challenge societal expectations. From groundbreaking interviews with diverse guests to relatable stories that resonate with your experiences, "Decisions, Decisions" is your go-to source for open dialogue about what it truly means to love and connect in today's world. Get ready to reshape your understanding of relationships and embrace the freedom of authentic connections—tune in and join the conversation!