Radical Being with River Faire

People do two curious things in their ideas of happiness: almost always we make it conditional (I'll be happy when such and such occurs... ), and we project it into the future rather than now. As River says, if you are only happy in the BIG moments, you're going to spend a lot of time unhappy in life. Better to reframe your perspective, be present, and realize how your own mind keeps you trapped in unhappiness.

Beyond mainstream ideas about success, purpose, and goals—the “hustle”—what is it to live with intention, especially in regard to values such as personal alignment, wellness, and integrity? River differentiates intention from the New Age idea of “manifesting,” and offers the intentional path is both an inner and outer one, which ultimately join in the heart.

Lifting a line from Joy Harjo, the first Native American Poet Laureate of the United States, River says, "Everyone has a heartache." Even though most of us create our own suffering, when we recognize that everyone has their challenges and angst, we potentially lessen our own selfishness and develop compassion. And just possibly, we can learn to "hold the heartache lightly."

An Instagram post from journalist Maria Shriver during the Palisades fire in Los Angeles, a quote to "Look for the helpers..." inspired this episode. Crisis is the master agent of change, River says, and a world of difference exists between the lowest common denominator of victim mentality—blaming and complaining—versus the highest level of awareness, which is altruistic service.

Radical well-being is something of a puzzle and most most people are missing key pieces. River shares his holistic map, drawn from three decades of working with clients and his own healing journey—a three-sector model of health. To achieve true wellness on all levels, regenerate, and truly thrive, you must attend to ALL the sectors with restorative practices.

River launches 2025 talking about death as an archetypal, metaphorical process of endings and beginnings. Many Westerners have a fear of death, one of multiple fears in general, which often holds people back from their personal evolution. He asks, what needs to die so that something else can be born—such as a new form, role, identity, or passage of life?

The aspects of self that we deny or suppress, "Shadow" is humanity's least-evolved level of awareness, River states, our lowest common denominator. Shadow work is a key part of personal evolution—moving from victim-hood to greater awareness and empowerment—because in the "shadow matrix," you can never be free.

The majority of people are not here to evolve, River states boldly. Partly, because evolution never occurs in the status quo, it happens at the fringe; also evolution involves uncertainty, which most people actively try to avoid. River explores what it means to evolve personally, and why mainstream “success” usually aborts that process.

A key difference exists between gratitude as a mental, feel-good exercise useful for “reframing,” versus an embodied one (somatic and cellular) that resets one's inner environment in a powerful way, as it relates to epigenetics. Further, River shares how he turns gratitude around and sends it to others as a transforming mini-meditation.

Most people are not skilled at letting things go, even when those things cause angst. For all sorts of reasons, including roles and identity, beliefs and expectations, we hang on to "our chosen encumbrances," as River puts it. What if you decided to finally relinquish angst in order to make room and energy for something else to emerge?

Creativity is a form of nourishment, River says, yet we can find a hundred reasons (excuses) not to actively create, and often fear holds us back—subconsciously or otherwise. If we're willing to risk, we open to the possibility that through our creativity something greater can emerge through us, propelling one's personal evolution.

Perspective is everything; it determines one's entire reality. If we're willing to entertain the possibility that every situation contains a gift, then even challenging scenarios—including disasters, crisis, and loss—can have a silver lining and prove ultimately to be for our mysterious benefit.

An entire universe had to be created in order to experience this moment, whatever it brings; in River's view, that makes everything really a miracle. And when we simply become present with what is, a door opens to both nourishment and possibility—a powerful way to reframe life.

River looks at life through the lens of nourishment—in a much wider view than merely nutrition. Versus entertainment and distraction, nourishment is a golden key that unlocks the ability to thrive on all levels of being—body, mind, and spirit. What genuinely nourishes you? And what gets in the way of practicing that?

River shares some insights from his journey as an artist/author and creative, as well as a holistic coach, on how inspiration ebbs and flows. A tremendous, healing power exists in creativity that we can access—especially as a source of nourishment—even when inspiration feels absent or lacking. Take up the challenge he offers at the end of this episode!

Personal evolution is a metamorphosis into a more authentic, expansive sphere of identity, often involving a sort of death and rebirth; relinquishing the identities, roles, work, relationships, and attachments which no longer feel aligned—sloughing off whatever is too small. Yet fear holds us back. River asks, what are you willing to risk in order to evolve?

A key factor of evolution—from the cosmic story to life on earth, including human history and personal development—is that it never occurs in the status quo. Evolution happens at the fringe—at the edge. The edge is where we grow and evolve individually, which often means saying yes to our challenges and pushing past our comfort zone.

The moment you blame or complain, you disempower yourself, River says. Excuses are in the same boat. What if you decided to become empowered by dropping blame, along with assuming full responsibility … and no more excuses! Here’s a radical perspective: there is no such thing as not having time, it’s simply not a priority.

What if ALL your ideas and expectations around reward are simply beliefs you’re carrying subconsciously, but not necessarily true? River illuminates how “reward” is one of the agreements most deeply woven into our belief matrix, from childhood onward; how it drives us in myriad ways and creates its own form of suffering.