April 9, 2025 • 25 mins
Crocs… but make them fashion?
The Queens are elevating their footwear game in Episode 201 with a jaw-dropping 5 Star Zappos Review of the infamous Siren Clogs by Crocs — a high-heeled Croc hybrid that defies fashion logic and maybe physics. 💅
Chelsey kicks things off with a deeply relatable kvetch about late-night cooking injuries while preparing homemade meals for Goldie (who had a vet-ordered stomach situation). Then Trey struts into the episode — quite literally — with a pair of Siren Clogs in hand (and on foot!) for a hilarious live unboxing, try-on, and runway moment.
The review from Hannah may start off sounding like a scathing roast of the product, but ends up being a love letter... with spikes and pearls. Can something be completely unhinged and completely iconic? Yes. Yes it can.
PLUS: A Royal Highness shoutout to good Samaritan drivers who let you merge, and a sneak peek at this week’s After Show Pod fridge review.
⏰ Timestamps:
- (00:00:29) Introduction
- (00:01:25) Lodge A Complaint – Late-Night Cooking Injury
- (00:05:20) Review Breakdown – 5 Star Review of Siren Clogs by Crocs
- (00:18:14) The Verdict
- (00:20:09) My Royal Highness – Kind Drivers Who Let You Merge
- (00:22:42) On This Week’s After Show Pod – 5 Star LG French Door Fridge Review
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Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:02):
Everybody's got an opinion.
Every Californian, Virginian inVirginia, it's so hard to tell
who to cho and who to ignore.
Someone's gotta settle The Score.
Trey anChelseyBD will helpyou choose who's win, which.
(00:31):
Hello.
Well hello and welcometo Review That Review.
We are the podcast that isdedicated to reviewing reviews.
That's Chelsey Donn andthat's Trey Gerrald.
And together we are the Review Queen,
(00:52):
and here at Review That Review.
We believe in balance, thegood, the bad, and the kvetchy.
So it's only fair that we take alittle moment up top to vetch it out.
Chelsey, would you like to
Lodge A Complaint?
I will try.
Thank you for asking.
Always a live complaint these days.
(01:15):
As you pointed out earlier,you notice I have a bandaid.
On my middle finger on my left hand.
It's a cute color by the way.
It's
cute.
Isn't it nice?
It actually kind of matchesmy shirt a little bit.
It does.
Um, so Goldie's been having a little bitof tummy troubles since I was speaking
with her vet and they suggested that Istart cooking food for her, which is just
(01:38):
another thing I need to add on the plate.
LOL.
And so I got home from work, itwas like around midnight and I'm
cooking like her, I'm like boilingher chicken and veggies and rice.
And doing it all.
And I'm, I would guess I was tiredfrom the day and I have these brand
new knives from our place, and I waslike cutting the chicken with my right
(02:00):
hand and I guess like a moron maybe.
I was holding the chickenwith my left hand.
I don't know what I was doing, butmy hand was there and the knife went
through my nail, like it like cut.
My nail and it was like bleeding andit was after midnight and goldie's like
(02:21):
barking 'cause she wants the chicken.
And I'm like, shut up.
And I'm like bleeding everywhereand I'm just trying to avoid going
to the emergency room 'cause Ijust don't wanna deal with that.
So I like bandage up my finger and Iget it to stop bleeding, thank God.
But it was super painful.
And then the next day I talked tomy boss's, uh, boyfriend is a chef.
(02:44):
I. So I was like, what do I do about this?
And he said, you have to crazy glueit so that the nail doesn't split.
'cause he is like, part of the painis the nail like pulling away from
each other 'cause it's like splitting.
And he is like, you'regonna lose the nail.
I was like, I know, but like,that's what you're afraid of.
Like, I don't wanna lose itby, it's splitting like that.
And so he put crazy glue onit and it feels much better.
(03:06):
I might do another round of crazy glue.
Yeah, you might as well.
Just to be safe.
Um, but yeah, like cutting myselfwhen I'm cooking, especially when I'm
like, I'm really trying to do, I mean,usually when I'm cooking, whether
it's for Goldie or friends, likeI'm, I'm trying to do something nice.
I'm bringing the love, I'mdoing the Carla, I'm putting all
the love in my food, you know?
(03:27):
And so when I cut myself likethat, it really just puts a
damper on the process, you know?
Well, of course.
'cause it's, it goes back to that,like when you were talking about, um,
cleaning, because it's like you havethis intention and there's a timeline
attached to the intention, right.
And then it gets derailed.
Yeah.
And you're like, oh,
like, no, I gotta, now Igotta wrap up my hands.
(03:48):
It's just like, but you know, this alsospeaks to something that really hits
home for me is like when you get a,um, like when you get a. Tanker sore
or when you get a blood blister or whenyou like do something to your nail.
Yeah.
Where it's like
ever present
this, this little moment that Ijust lived through is going to be
(04:11):
with me for like eight months now.
I know.
Like that's very frustrating.
I
know, I know it's true.
And I really wanted to get a manicure.
Now I can get a manicure,but it is what it is folks.
I'm sorry, holy has food and Ihave a bunch in the freezer, so
hopefully I'm good for a little bit.
Hi, uh,
the things we do, youknow, for the ones we love,
(04:32):
well complain, add to the
ledger.
Thank you.
Okay.
Alright, well should weget into an online review?
I think
we should.
I'm ready.
Well, before we do, if you wereloving the show, can we just ask
that you please hit subscribe.
It's free, it helps us out and itkeeps the reviews coming your way.
There's like another way todo this that I like, forget
(04:56):
if you're just listening.
We're trying to do hearts with our hands.
We're right.
Yeah.
Nice.
Love you guys.
Um, drop a comment.
We love hearing from you.
Tell us all the things that made youlaugh, gasp, or say, oh no, okay.
Just do it.
Do it this week at some point.
I mean, the nail cutting wasan, oh, no moment for me.
That was an
oh no.
(05:18):
All right.
All right.
Should we jump in?
Speaking of, let's do it.
Yeah.
Review That.
Review
As your trustee review Queens,we bring in internet reviews that
we feel need to be inspected.
We read you the review, we break it downand then we rate the impact of that review
(05:38):
on a scale from zero to five crowns.
It's a really regal process that we call
Assess That Kvetch.
That's right.
And it's your turn this week.
Trey, what have you brought in for us?
All right, everyone.
Okay.
This is a little silly.
Okay.
But I went to a place that we havenever been before and this website,
(06:00):
I don't know if, if you recall, orlistener, viewers, if you recall.
It got really tainted for me culturallybecause they had a data breach, so I just
decided I would never go to the website.
Okay, but we're gonna be reviewing a fivestar review from zappos.com or Zappos.
(06:23):
The shoes.
Yes.
Zappos is Spanish for shoes.
Yes.
Have you ever been to zappos.com?
I mean, probably once or twice.
Not somewhere that I frequent tobe honest, but I know about it.
It's like Has like a footprintor something as the LogoVora?
Yes.
Right.
It it's like Zappo's exclamation mark.
(06:43):
Yeah.
Oh, it says the LogoVora is,um, it's been here for 25 years.
Okay.
So, um, pretty, that'spretty, that's not nothing.
That's not nothing.
And they got a five scar from somebody.
Yes, exactly.
Well, that's what we'regonna be investigating today.
Okay.
All right, so we are gonna be raining andreviewing this five star question mark.
(07:05):
Review from Hannah on zappos.com.
Four siren clogs by Crocs.
Do you know what that means?
Siren clogs?
No.
All right.
Well check out the screen.
Here we go.
This is the crock brandof high heeled Crocs.
(07:28):
Bet.
Oh,
heinously ugly.
Okay, so we gotta just, we gotta putit out into the, in, into the forefront
before we get into Hannah's review.
Oh my God.
Crocs are disgusting looking.
They're hideous.
I don't get it.
They're,
unless you're a child, like a toddler
and, and I think that, and even younger
children, but anyone beyond that.
(07:50):
What's the name for the littleinserts you put in the hole?
Here we go.
I'm giving away my age.
Oh,
Jesus Christ.
I,
the little, the DLE berries or whateverthey call them, those make 'em cuter
because I think part of what makesCrocs so ugly are the little holes.
Chelsea's gonna look it up.
I can tell.
Um, I
wanna look it up.
'cause bugging me.
Well, gimlets, gimletsor something like that.
(08:10):
That's a cocktail.
But that maybe they are called gimlets.
They might, you might be rights.
The Gr Gringle.
Dorf.
The gr, the Gryffindor.
We are so bad grid.
Now, this is just funny to me'cause I feel like this is the
new Generation's Jelly shoes.
But in the summer of like2005 Crocs were so popular.
(08:34):
Gbit Gibbs, Gibbs, Gibbs, Gibbs.
And like I rememberthey were so expensive.
I had like a fake version.
Um.
And then they like went away andthey've had this giant resurgence.
It's like every, like everytime I, if you're working
in a garden, if you're adoctor, if you're a baby, yes.
If you're a toddler,
it's good for little toddlers.
(08:55):
Yes, of course.
And they were very popular thatone summer in 2005 for me, because
I was doing an outdoor theaterjob and it was on the water.
Mm. And there was like sand everywhere.
So it was like, that makes sense.
Lightweight and great.
Okay.
If you're
using it for likeutilitarian purpose, yes.
But a heel.
I mean, I think this is just so hilarious.
(09:16):
A, um, I mean exhibit A, your Honor.
Um, okay, so let's, let's read Hannah's.
Okay.
Five star.
Review.
This is the most dangerous shoeI've ever worn and I made in through
(09:37):
the aughts and all kinds of skyhigh, poorly constructed eye heels.
You need ankles of absolute steel.
Oh my God.
To navigate the worldin these, which I have.
If you wanna wear these outside, makesure there are no hills, no matter
(10:02):
how small, because your feet will rolluncontrollably with gravity as you
fight to stay in the soft crosslightbog, they also look absolutely insane.
I added spikes and pearls to mine, andit's like I'm on the fury road of it.
(10:29):
Were made of marshmallow.
Okay?
I'm gonna buy these in everycolor and wear them every day.
Five stars.
Um, wait a minute.
Which has happened.
We just switched reviews at the very end.
And the last, last two sentences.
(10:51):
The last two.
Well,
okay.
Yes, yes.
But when you actually go through everysingle sentence, they're saying It's
the most dangerous shoes I've ever worn.
And I have experience in dangerous shoes.
Yeah, you need absoluteankles of steel, which I have.
You're gonna like roll and be crazy.
Um, they look insane.
(11:12):
I made them look more insane.
I want them in every color.
So like it is ying and yang,but you don't catch it.
Right.
Because they're like so insistent ofhow awful, ugly, dangerous they are.
Right.
It's weird.
I mean, okay.
Interesting.
'cause I really was like five starand then I guess this is a five
star experience for them in a way.
(11:34):
Maybe it's queenly because it's like,here's everything wrong with these shoes.
Don't come for me.
Do not come for me.
If you roll an ankle, do not come for me.
If somebody tells you that they'rehideous, do not come for me.
If you fall down a hill or can'twalk up a hill, do not come for me.
That being said, love them.
(11:56):
I mean, the reason I love thisreview is that Hannah is saying
everything that we, we said before,like Crocs are disgusting looking.
They're, they're awful, andHannah includes a photo.
Um, and these are the Gibbs.
Not Gimlets or um, BB Griffin Doors.
Gibb Gibbs.
(12:17):
What did I say?
Jesus
Christ.
Wait, what did I say?
I think Gee, Gibbs, I dunno.
Whatever they are,they're spikes and pearls.
Yeah.
And I'm assuming, is FuryRoad made of marshmallows?
Is that like Super Mario Kar reference?
I thought Fury Road was like, oh shit.
Mad Max or something.
Mad Max.
(12:38):
Yeah, I don't know.
Um,
these pearls and spikes are interestingbecause the spikes are white.
Yeah.
They're like white.
They're like
white, like they're sharpwhites, but they're white spikes.
So like, you almost like don'trealize that they're, and
then they're mixed pearls.
I don't know.
As we're going through this, can welook back at the, um, actual image?
(13:02):
Um, I really.
Like, wanted to buythese, but they are 74 95.
Wow.
At the time of recording.
And I really wanted to buy thepink ones 'cause That's hilarious.
Which they call Pink Crush.
Um, but they didn't have them in my sizeand I didn't really wanna spend $75 Yeah.
That song.
But I
did.
Anyway, stop it.
(13:24):
Re oh my god.
Tree's wearing the, the black onesare probably the most acceptable.
So.
Trey, you've outdone yourself, queen.
He's walking like a pro.
Honestly, not having any problemswalking at all looks like,
honestly, making it fashion.
(13:45):
Like I would never in a millionyears have thought that this
crock eel could be fashion.
But Trey with his littlejeans just pulled up.
It looks like fashion, and he is walking.
He's like.
Oh, he's actually, he's walking the duck.
He is walking the duck.
He just did a, a fall, likea, what do they call them?
A fall?
(14:05):
Whatever.
He's keeping that clog on.
He just looks fan for, he'sdoing a whole routine, you guys.
If you're not watching this.
Whoa.
He fell.
He fell.
Oh, he fell.
It happened.
I was acting.
Oh, he was acting.
He's fine.
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Tyra Banks.
He.
Right.
(14:26):
They look kind of good on you.
You kind of work those.
Wow.
I do think that black is the onlyacceptable color because if I didn't
know that that was a crock, I mightjust think that that was a clog.
A clog.
Right.
You know, like I wouldn't know thatit was me out of crock material.
(14:47):
Are you gonna wear those IRL.
So at Thanksgiving I had them andwe do like an annual Thanksgiving
walk, like, because it's somethingDavid saw that Julia Michael said on
the Biggest Loser like 15 years ago.
So obviously she's neverdone anything problematic.
Oh my God, it's so funny.
And um,
my like 7-year-old nephewinsisted on wearing them and so
(15:13):
he wore them and he didn't fall.
It was really impressive.
He wore them on
the whole walk.
He did.
And it's like a long walk.
Quick Patreon plug.
I have a Patreon only Jillian Michaelstory that I will tell on the after show.
I'm scared.
Um, okay.
Let's get back to Hannah.
Yeah.
Do you think there's any new,unique, valuable info in here?
(15:36):
I do.
I mean, I think that everythingthat I feared about these
shoes, Hannah was like, yep.
That's exactly what's gonna happen to you.
So in a way, I feel like safer.
'cause I'm like, okay, it's notjust like this Pollyanna review
and then I'm gonna get the productand I'm gonna fall or something.
I'm like, okay, if I am gonna spend$75, I better really want these
(16:00):
and be like, I'll just figure outhow to tape my feet into them.
Yeah.
You know,
I will say that now that I'mlike currently wearing them.
And, and like I have done drag, soI have experience in like heels.
Yeah.
They're not that like, it doesn't seem,I mean I guess I haven't gone up a hill,
but my little 7-year-old nephew who likedoesn't wear heels, like he didn't fall.
(16:23):
Um, I don't know thatthey are as dangerous.
It's a little like, you haveto get your grounding right.
I mean, um, spelling, grammar.
There are a couple of mistakes in here.
Yeah, there's probably three in there.
Okay.
Um.
So she, so Hannah could haveused a, a little bell check.
Yes.
(16:43):
Truthful, shady.
I mean, I think it's a humorous take.
Yeah.
That I don't think is shady.
Like, I don't know, I don't wannajust give Hannah a pass here because
I like, think that it's funny.
But like, I, I do think that there'san intention at humor that they are
kind of burying the lead until the end.
(17:06):
Um,
yeah, and it was like a fun switch.
Like I didn't, I didn't see it coming,
and I will tell you, we're not gonnaget into this, but for whatever reason,
the demographic of reviews about Crocsturned very American patriotism Oh, wow.
In the review section, which I, Idon't know what any of that is about.
(17:29):
So Hannah really did stick out Okay.
As like a beacon of like.
Whiteness when we're talkingabout these ugly shoes.
So I guess maybe because it's an,I think maybe it's just everything
is from America with, with Crocs.
Like the plastic or what?
I don't know.
Maybe whatever.
I, I don't know.
I'm, it's all conjecture.
Um,
okay.
Well, I feel like I, I mostly know whoHannah is enough to maybe even Crown.
(17:55):
I think I could crown Hannah too.
Yeah, let's do it.
All right.
So Chelsey and I each have ourown set of zero to five Crown
cards, including half crowns.
And in order to not be influencedby one another, we're gonna
simultaneously reveal our ratings.
Total school.
(18:16):
Okay.
The queens are unanimous.
Four and a half crowns.
Four and a half crowns.
I thought this was a prettyfun review from Hannah.
Um, I do love a positive reviewthat has the negativity balance
'cause it really makes me.
Believe you.
Like I can understand that youlike a product that's not perfect.
I don't have a problem with that.
And I think there's something nice aboutall of the disclosure, even though we
(18:40):
love them and we'll continue to buy them.
So the thing about the style, andI found it funny and the twist was
interesting, four and a half crowns.
Why did you give Hannah four and a half?
Oh, I also just wanna mentionthat I actually got them on sale.
I did not spend $75.
I just need that to be very clear.
I do not think these are worth $75.
Okay.
But the crock brand is likeexorbitantly expensive, in my opinion.
(19:03):
Yes.
Yes.
I think Hannah really like hits itoutta the park, including the picture.
Yeah, but I just, I do think because ofthe bait and switch and like the pivot
change and the humor going so hard.
It might get lost a little bit.
And so I couldn't say Review Queen,even though I really do love it.
(19:24):
And I did buy the product and I guessI have, um, stronger heels than Hannah.
You heard that?
Hannah?
You heard that?
You heard you a little showdown.
Oh my.
I train my win.
Trey's very good with those rock heels.
Well, I don't know.
I've never gone up ahill, so that is true.
Well, that's it.
Crocs, you guys.
(19:45):
Wow.
Crocs is c. Crocs It is.
I'm not gonna buy them.
I still refuse to buy them.
Ah.
All right.
Well, Queens, we haveaired our grievances.
We've inspected Hannah's review,and now why don't we flip the script
(20:05):
and shine a light on somethingthat is truly deserving of a crown.
That's right.
Chelsey, we've reached themost regal portion of our show.
Who are you inducting today for?
My royal line is, okay.
I wanna talk about the personwhen you're driving in traffic.
Who is the good Samaritanof all good Samaritans?
(20:26):
The person who sees that you are tryingto merge, whether you're trying to
make a turn or you're turning out of agas station, or you're turning out of
your house and you need to make a turn.
The person who just pauses givesyou the wave and lets you through.
That person can change thecourse of an entire day.
(20:49):
Truthfully, that's true.
I aim to be that person whenever possible.
I really, really do because I'vebeen in the position of needing to
let people help me merge multipletimes, so I try to pay it forward.
I. But that person deserves amoment, deserves recognition
because you are changing things.
(21:09):
Listeners, be that person.
Let someone merge.
They're, you know, they're just,maybe they're having a rough day,
they just need a little bit of help.
They're not being obnoxious.
They just need to getto where they're going.
And a little bit of a pause from you tomake all the difference in the world.
So thank you to the people that do that.
I see you.
I appreciate you and I am nominating you.
(21:30):
Officially as My Royal Highness.
You're definitely not nominating me.
I am.
Um, I'm, oh no, not a goodSamaritan when it comes to driving.
Really?
I turn into a road rage monster.
I am insane.
Wow.
Yeah.
(21:50):
It's, it's, I, I'm not very proud of that,but I will say, you highlighting this.
Is so true.
I mean, it is literally when someoneis like a good Samaritan driver,
it really changes everything.
I'm gonna try, I'm gonnatake your challenge.
Thank you.
I'm gonna try to try this this week.
(22:10):
Just, yeah, just try it just once and seehow it makes you feel and see how many
more people do it for you when you startdoing it for other people, you know?
Yeah.
It's a, it's a, it'sa circle, circle game.
Circular in my high heels up a hill.
Wow.
They look kind of great on you.
I'm not gonna lie.
I'm gonna walk up this hill in my heels.
(22:33):
Um, all right, well, we did a queen,the good, the bad, and the kechi.
Mm-hmm.
Another round on the R-U-A-R-Q,Ferris Wheel of Rolling Ankles.
Thank you for joining us today.
If you like what you heard, please tella friend and let someone in on traffic.
And if you did not like what youheard, please tell an enemy and
don't let someone in into traffic.
(22:54):
Yeah, that's right.
Okay, on this week's after showpod, we are rating and reviewing
a five star review or the LG.
French door mood up refrigerator.
(23:16):
Oh, from the algae website.
Wow.
That's so interesting.
I can't wait to see why this was said.
So when I first moved to LA I was reallygood friends with this girl who was
Jillian Michael's like personal assistant.
Did she finger her personal assistant?
Why did I ask that?
Yeah.
I wonder.
I wonder why it was said, girl.
I wonder too.
(23:38):
Well, how could we find out insteadof wondering, I guess I'll have
to listen to the after show.
I guess we'll have to go to ReviewThat Review dot com slash patreon so
that we can hear thet about JillianMichaels and also this review,
and maybe watch Trey do anothermodel strut and these siren clog.
Ooh, I, we should be all be solucky as to get another view of that
(24:02):
as you are going to patreoncom and you're subscribing.
For a low, low price.
Also, remember,
ignore the haters.
You're a queen.
Gender nonspecific queen.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
(24:22):
Sign up directly on Apple Podcast tohear our weekly members only after show.
Unlock additional benefits when youbecome a Patreon member at Review
That Review dot com slash patreon.
Follow us on all the socials at theReview Queen and join our mailing
list at Review That Review dot com.
Arc vetch line is open 247 at 1 8 5 0 review zero.
Don't be a, a sugar.
(24:43):
Go the fetch line today
along fa saying,
bye.
Love you.
Thanks for watching Queens.
(25:03):
Click here to subscribe andclick here for more videos.
Everybody's got an opinion.
Every Californian, Virginian inVirginia, it's so hard to tell
who to cho and who to ignore.
Someone's gotta settle The Score.
Trey anChelseyBD will helpyou choose who's win, which.
(00:31):
Hello.
Well hello and welcometo Review That Review.
We are the podcast that isdedicated to reviewing reviews.
That's Chelsey Donn andthat's Trey Gerrald.
And together we are the Review Queen,
(00:52):
and here at Review That Review.
We believe in balance, thegood, the bad, and the kvetchy.
So it's only fair that we take alittle moment up top to vetch it out.
Chelsey, would you like to
Lodge A Complaint?
I will try.
Thank you for asking.
Always a live complaint these days.
(01:15):
As you pointed out earlier,you notice I have a bandaid.
On my middle finger on my left hand.
It's a cute color by the way.
It's
cute.
Isn't it nice?
It actually kind of matchesmy shirt a little bit.
It does.
Um, so Goldie's been having a little bitof tummy troubles since I was speaking
with her vet and they suggested that Istart cooking food for her, which is just
(01:38):
another thing I need to add on the plate.
LOL.
And so I got home from work, itwas like around midnight and I'm
cooking like her, I'm like boilingher chicken and veggies and rice.
And doing it all.
And I'm, I would guess I was tiredfrom the day and I have these brand
new knives from our place, and I waslike cutting the chicken with my right
(02:00):
hand and I guess like a moron maybe.
I was holding the chickenwith my left hand.
I don't know what I was doing, butmy hand was there and the knife went
through my nail, like it like cut.
My nail and it was like bleeding andit was after midnight and goldie's like
(02:21):
barking 'cause she wants the chicken.
And I'm like, shut up.
And I'm like bleeding everywhereand I'm just trying to avoid going
to the emergency room 'cause Ijust don't wanna deal with that.
So I like bandage up my finger and Iget it to stop bleeding, thank God.
But it was super painful.
And then the next day I talked tomy boss's, uh, boyfriend is a chef.
(02:44):
I. So I was like, what do I do about this?
And he said, you have to crazy glueit so that the nail doesn't split.
'cause he is like, part of the painis the nail like pulling away from
each other 'cause it's like splitting.
And he is like, you'regonna lose the nail.
I was like, I know, but like,that's what you're afraid of.
Like, I don't wanna lose itby, it's splitting like that.
And so he put crazy glue onit and it feels much better.
(03:06):
I might do another round of crazy glue.
Yeah, you might as well.
Just to be safe.
Um, but yeah, like cutting myselfwhen I'm cooking, especially when I'm
like, I'm really trying to do, I mean,usually when I'm cooking, whether
it's for Goldie or friends, likeI'm, I'm trying to do something nice.
I'm bringing the love, I'mdoing the Carla, I'm putting all
the love in my food, you know?
(03:27):
And so when I cut myself likethat, it really just puts a
damper on the process, you know?
Well, of course.
'cause it's, it goes back to that,like when you were talking about, um,
cleaning, because it's like you havethis intention and there's a timeline
attached to the intention, right.
And then it gets derailed.
Yeah.
And you're like, oh,
like, no, I gotta, now Igotta wrap up my hands.
(03:48):
It's just like, but you know, this alsospeaks to something that really hits
home for me is like when you get a,um, like when you get a. Tanker sore
or when you get a blood blister or whenyou like do something to your nail.
Yeah.
Where it's like
ever present
this, this little moment that Ijust lived through is going to be
(04:11):
with me for like eight months now.
I know.
Like that's very frustrating.
I
know, I know it's true.
And I really wanted to get a manicure.
Now I can get a manicure,but it is what it is folks.
I'm sorry, holy has food and Ihave a bunch in the freezer, so
hopefully I'm good for a little bit.
Hi, uh,
the things we do, youknow, for the ones we love,
(04:32):
well complain, add to the
ledger.
Thank you.
Okay.
Alright, well should weget into an online review?
I think
we should.
I'm ready.
Well, before we do, if you wereloving the show, can we just ask
that you please hit subscribe.
It's free, it helps us out and itkeeps the reviews coming your way.
There's like another way todo this that I like, forget
(04:56):
if you're just listening.
We're trying to do hearts with our hands.
We're right.
Yeah.
Nice.
Love you guys.
Um, drop a comment.
We love hearing from you.
Tell us all the things that made youlaugh, gasp, or say, oh no, okay.
Just do it.
Do it this week at some point.
I mean, the nail cutting wasan, oh, no moment for me.
That was an
oh no.
(05:18):
All right.
All right.
Should we jump in?
Speaking of, let's do it.
Yeah.
Review That.
Review
As your trustee review Queens,we bring in internet reviews that
we feel need to be inspected.
We read you the review, we break it downand then we rate the impact of that review
(05:38):
on a scale from zero to five crowns.
It's a really regal process that we call
Assess That Kvetch.
That's right.
And it's your turn this week.
Trey, what have you brought in for us?
All right, everyone.
Okay.
This is a little silly.
Okay.
But I went to a place that we havenever been before and this website,
(06:00):
I don't know if, if you recall, orlistener, viewers, if you recall.
It got really tainted for me culturallybecause they had a data breach, so I just
decided I would never go to the website.
Okay, but we're gonna be reviewing a fivestar review from zappos.com or Zappos.
(06:23):
The shoes.
Yes.
Zappos is Spanish for shoes.
Yes.
Have you ever been to zappos.com?
I mean, probably once or twice.
Not somewhere that I frequent tobe honest, but I know about it.
It's like Has like a footprintor something as the LogoVora?
Yes.
Right.
It it's like Zappo's exclamation mark.
(06:43):
Yeah.
Oh, it says the LogoVora is,um, it's been here for 25 years.
Okay.
So, um, pretty, that'spretty, that's not nothing.
That's not nothing.
And they got a five scar from somebody.
Yes, exactly.
Well, that's what we'regonna be investigating today.
Okay.
All right, so we are gonna be raining andreviewing this five star question mark.
(07:05):
Review from Hannah on zappos.com.
Four siren clogs by Crocs.
Do you know what that means?
Siren clogs?
No.
All right.
Well check out the screen.
Here we go.
This is the crock brandof high heeled Crocs.
(07:28):
Bet.
Oh,
heinously ugly.
Okay, so we gotta just, we gotta putit out into the, in, into the forefront
before we get into Hannah's review.
Oh my God.
Crocs are disgusting looking.
They're hideous.
I don't get it.
They're,
unless you're a child, like a toddler
and, and I think that, and even younger
children, but anyone beyond that.
(07:50):
What's the name for the littleinserts you put in the hole?
Here we go.
I'm giving away my age.
Oh,
Jesus Christ.
I,
the little, the DLE berries or whateverthey call them, those make 'em cuter
because I think part of what makesCrocs so ugly are the little holes.
Chelsea's gonna look it up.
I can tell.
Um, I
wanna look it up.
'cause bugging me.
Well, gimlets, gimletsor something like that.
(08:10):
That's a cocktail.
But that maybe they are called gimlets.
They might, you might be rights.
The Gr Gringle.
Dorf.
The gr, the Gryffindor.
We are so bad grid.
Now, this is just funny to me'cause I feel like this is the
new Generation's Jelly shoes.
But in the summer of like2005 Crocs were so popular.
(08:34):
Gbit Gibbs, Gibbs, Gibbs, Gibbs.
And like I rememberthey were so expensive.
I had like a fake version.
Um.
And then they like went away andthey've had this giant resurgence.
It's like every, like everytime I, if you're working
in a garden, if you're adoctor, if you're a baby, yes.
If you're a toddler,
it's good for little toddlers.
(08:55):
Yes, of course.
And they were very popular thatone summer in 2005 for me, because
I was doing an outdoor theaterjob and it was on the water.
Mm. And there was like sand everywhere.
So it was like, that makes sense.
Lightweight and great.
Okay.
If you're
using it for likeutilitarian purpose, yes.
But a heel.
I mean, I think this is just so hilarious.
(09:16):
A, um, I mean exhibit A, your Honor.
Um, okay, so let's, let's read Hannah's.
Okay.
Five star.
Review.
This is the most dangerous shoeI've ever worn and I made in through
(09:37):
the aughts and all kinds of skyhigh, poorly constructed eye heels.
You need ankles of absolute steel.
Oh my God.
To navigate the worldin these, which I have.
If you wanna wear these outside, makesure there are no hills, no matter
(10:02):
how small, because your feet will rolluncontrollably with gravity as you
fight to stay in the soft crosslightbog, they also look absolutely insane.
I added spikes and pearls to mine, andit's like I'm on the fury road of it.
(10:29):
Were made of marshmallow.
Okay?
I'm gonna buy these in everycolor and wear them every day.
Five stars.
Um, wait a minute.
Which has happened.
We just switched reviews at the very end.
And the last, last two sentences.
(10:51):
The last two.
Well,
okay.
Yes, yes.
But when you actually go through everysingle sentence, they're saying It's
the most dangerous shoes I've ever worn.
And I have experience in dangerous shoes.
Yeah, you need absoluteankles of steel, which I have.
You're gonna like roll and be crazy.
Um, they look insane.
(11:12):
I made them look more insane.
I want them in every color.
So like it is ying and yang,but you don't catch it.
Right.
Because they're like so insistent ofhow awful, ugly, dangerous they are.
Right.
It's weird.
I mean, okay.
Interesting.
'cause I really was like five starand then I guess this is a five
star experience for them in a way.
(11:34):
Maybe it's queenly because it's like,here's everything wrong with these shoes.
Don't come for me.
Do not come for me.
If you roll an ankle, do not come for me.
If somebody tells you that they'rehideous, do not come for me.
If you fall down a hill or can'twalk up a hill, do not come for me.
That being said, love them.
(11:56):
I mean, the reason I love thisreview is that Hannah is saying
everything that we, we said before,like Crocs are disgusting looking.
They're, they're awful, andHannah includes a photo.
Um, and these are the Gibbs.
Not Gimlets or um, BB Griffin Doors.
Gibb Gibbs.
(12:17):
What did I say?
Jesus
Christ.
Wait, what did I say?
I think Gee, Gibbs, I dunno.
Whatever they are,they're spikes and pearls.
Yeah.
And I'm assuming, is FuryRoad made of marshmallows?
Is that like Super Mario Kar reference?
I thought Fury Road was like, oh shit.
Mad Max or something.
Mad Max.
(12:38):
Yeah, I don't know.
Um,
these pearls and spikes are interestingbecause the spikes are white.
Yeah.
They're like white.
They're like
white, like they're sharpwhites, but they're white spikes.
So like, you almost like don'trealize that they're, and
then they're mixed pearls.
I don't know.
As we're going through this, can welook back at the, um, actual image?
(13:02):
Um, I really.
Like, wanted to buythese, but they are 74 95.
Wow.
At the time of recording.
And I really wanted to buy thepink ones 'cause That's hilarious.
Which they call Pink Crush.
Um, but they didn't have them in my sizeand I didn't really wanna spend $75 Yeah.
That song.
But I
did.
Anyway, stop it.
(13:24):
Re oh my god.
Tree's wearing the, the black onesare probably the most acceptable.
So.
Trey, you've outdone yourself, queen.
He's walking like a pro.
Honestly, not having any problemswalking at all looks like,
honestly, making it fashion.
(13:45):
Like I would never in a millionyears have thought that this
crock eel could be fashion.
But Trey with his littlejeans just pulled up.
It looks like fashion, and he is walking.
He's like.
Oh, he's actually, he's walking the duck.
He is walking the duck.
He just did a, a fall, likea, what do they call them?
A fall?
(14:05):
Whatever.
He's keeping that clog on.
He just looks fan for, he'sdoing a whole routine, you guys.
If you're not watching this.
Whoa.
He fell.
He fell.
Oh, he fell.
It happened.
I was acting.
Oh, he was acting.
He's fine.
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Tyra Banks.
He.
Right.
(14:26):
They look kind of good on you.
You kind of work those.
Wow.
I do think that black is the onlyacceptable color because if I didn't
know that that was a crock, I mightjust think that that was a clog.
A clog.
Right.
You know, like I wouldn't know thatit was me out of crock material.
(14:47):
Are you gonna wear those IRL.
So at Thanksgiving I had them andwe do like an annual Thanksgiving
walk, like, because it's somethingDavid saw that Julia Michael said on
the Biggest Loser like 15 years ago.
So obviously she's neverdone anything problematic.
Oh my God, it's so funny.
And um,
my like 7-year-old nephewinsisted on wearing them and so
(15:13):
he wore them and he didn't fall.
It was really impressive.
He wore them on
the whole walk.
He did.
And it's like a long walk.
Quick Patreon plug.
I have a Patreon only Jillian Michaelstory that I will tell on the after show.
I'm scared.
Um, okay.
Let's get back to Hannah.
Yeah.
Do you think there's any new,unique, valuable info in here?
(15:36):
I do.
I mean, I think that everythingthat I feared about these
shoes, Hannah was like, yep.
That's exactly what's gonna happen to you.
So in a way, I feel like safer.
'cause I'm like, okay, it's notjust like this Pollyanna review
and then I'm gonna get the productand I'm gonna fall or something.
I'm like, okay, if I am gonna spend$75, I better really want these
(16:00):
and be like, I'll just figure outhow to tape my feet into them.
Yeah.
You know,
I will say that now that I'mlike currently wearing them.
And, and like I have done drag, soI have experience in like heels.
Yeah.
They're not that like, it doesn't seem,I mean I guess I haven't gone up a hill,
but my little 7-year-old nephew who likedoesn't wear heels, like he didn't fall.
(16:23):
Um, I don't know thatthey are as dangerous.
It's a little like, you haveto get your grounding right.
I mean, um, spelling, grammar.
There are a couple of mistakes in here.
Yeah, there's probably three in there.
Okay.
Um.
So she, so Hannah could haveused a, a little bell check.
Yes.
(16:43):
Truthful, shady.
I mean, I think it's a humorous take.
Yeah.
That I don't think is shady.
Like, I don't know, I don't wannajust give Hannah a pass here because
I like, think that it's funny.
But like, I, I do think that there'san intention at humor that they are
kind of burying the lead until the end.
(17:06):
Um,
yeah, and it was like a fun switch.
Like I didn't, I didn't see it coming,
and I will tell you, we're not gonnaget into this, but for whatever reason,
the demographic of reviews about Crocsturned very American patriotism Oh, wow.
In the review section, which I, Idon't know what any of that is about.
(17:29):
So Hannah really did stick out Okay.
As like a beacon of like.
Whiteness when we're talkingabout these ugly shoes.
So I guess maybe because it's an,I think maybe it's just everything
is from America with, with Crocs.
Like the plastic or what?
I don't know.
Maybe whatever.
I, I don't know.
I'm, it's all conjecture.
Um,
okay.
Well, I feel like I, I mostly know whoHannah is enough to maybe even Crown.
(17:55):
I think I could crown Hannah too.
Yeah, let's do it.
All right.
So Chelsey and I each have ourown set of zero to five Crown
cards, including half crowns.
And in order to not be influencedby one another, we're gonna
simultaneously reveal our ratings.
Total school.
(18:16):
Okay.
The queens are unanimous.
Four and a half crowns.
Four and a half crowns.
I thought this was a prettyfun review from Hannah.
Um, I do love a positive reviewthat has the negativity balance
'cause it really makes me.
Believe you.
Like I can understand that youlike a product that's not perfect.
I don't have a problem with that.
And I think there's something nice aboutall of the disclosure, even though we
(18:40):
love them and we'll continue to buy them.
So the thing about the style, andI found it funny and the twist was
interesting, four and a half crowns.
Why did you give Hannah four and a half?
Oh, I also just wanna mentionthat I actually got them on sale.
I did not spend $75.
I just need that to be very clear.
I do not think these are worth $75.
Okay.
But the crock brand is likeexorbitantly expensive, in my opinion.
(19:03):
Yes.
Yes.
I think Hannah really like hits itoutta the park, including the picture.
Yeah, but I just, I do think because ofthe bait and switch and like the pivot
change and the humor going so hard.
It might get lost a little bit.
And so I couldn't say Review Queen,even though I really do love it.
(19:24):
And I did buy the product and I guessI have, um, stronger heels than Hannah.
You heard that?
Hannah?
You heard that?
You heard you a little showdown.
Oh my.
I train my win.
Trey's very good with those rock heels.
Well, I don't know.
I've never gone up ahill, so that is true.
Well, that's it.
Crocs, you guys.
(19:45):
Wow.
Crocs is c. Crocs It is.
I'm not gonna buy them.
I still refuse to buy them.
Ah.
All right.
Well, Queens, we haveaired our grievances.
We've inspected Hannah's review,and now why don't we flip the script
(20:05):
and shine a light on somethingthat is truly deserving of a crown.
That's right.
Chelsey, we've reached themost regal portion of our show.
Who are you inducting today for?
My royal line is, okay.
I wanna talk about the personwhen you're driving in traffic.
Who is the good Samaritanof all good Samaritans?
(20:26):
The person who sees that you are tryingto merge, whether you're trying to
make a turn or you're turning out of agas station, or you're turning out of
your house and you need to make a turn.
The person who just pauses givesyou the wave and lets you through.
That person can change thecourse of an entire day.
(20:49):
Truthfully, that's true.
I aim to be that person whenever possible.
I really, really do because I'vebeen in the position of needing to
let people help me merge multipletimes, so I try to pay it forward.
I. But that person deserves amoment, deserves recognition
because you are changing things.
(21:09):
Listeners, be that person.
Let someone merge.
They're, you know, they're just,maybe they're having a rough day,
they just need a little bit of help.
They're not being obnoxious.
They just need to getto where they're going.
And a little bit of a pause from you tomake all the difference in the world.
So thank you to the people that do that.
I see you.
I appreciate you and I am nominating you.
(21:30):
Officially as My Royal Highness.
You're definitely not nominating me.
I am.
Um, I'm, oh no, not a goodSamaritan when it comes to driving.
Really?
I turn into a road rage monster.
I am insane.
Wow.
Yeah.
(21:50):
It's, it's, I, I'm not very proud of that,but I will say, you highlighting this.
Is so true.
I mean, it is literally when someoneis like a good Samaritan driver,
it really changes everything.
I'm gonna try, I'm gonnatake your challenge.
Thank you.
I'm gonna try to try this this week.
(22:10):
Just, yeah, just try it just once and seehow it makes you feel and see how many
more people do it for you when you startdoing it for other people, you know?
Yeah.
It's a, it's a, it'sa circle, circle game.
Circular in my high heels up a hill.
Wow.
They look kind of great on you.
I'm not gonna lie.
I'm gonna walk up this hill in my heels.
(22:33):
Um, all right, well, we did a queen,the good, the bad, and the kechi.
Mm-hmm.
Another round on the R-U-A-R-Q,Ferris Wheel of Rolling Ankles.
Thank you for joining us today.
If you like what you heard, please tella friend and let someone in on traffic.
And if you did not like what youheard, please tell an enemy and
don't let someone in into traffic.
(22:54):
Yeah, that's right.
Okay, on this week's after showpod, we are rating and reviewing
a five star review or the LG.
French door mood up refrigerator.
(23:16):
Oh, from the algae website.
Wow.
That's so interesting.
I can't wait to see why this was said.
So when I first moved to LA I was reallygood friends with this girl who was
Jillian Michael's like personal assistant.
Did she finger her personal assistant?
Why did I ask that?
Yeah.
I wonder.
I wonder why it was said, girl.
I wonder too.
(23:38):
Well, how could we find out insteadof wondering, I guess I'll have
to listen to the after show.
I guess we'll have to go to ReviewThat Review dot com slash patreon so
that we can hear thet about JillianMichaels and also this review,
and maybe watch Trey do anothermodel strut and these siren clog.
Ooh, I, we should be all be solucky as to get another view of that
(24:02):
as you are going to patreoncom and you're subscribing.
For a low, low price.
Also, remember,
ignore the haters.
You're a queen.
Gender nonspecific queen.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
(24:22):
Sign up directly on Apple Podcast tohear our weekly members only after show.
Unlock additional benefits when youbecome a Patreon member at Review
That Review dot com slash patreon.
Follow us on all the socials at theReview Queen and join our mailing
list at Review That Review dot com.
Arc vetch line is open 247 at 1 8 5 0 review zero.
Don't be a, a sugar.
(24:43):
Go the fetch line today
along fa saying,
bye.
Love you.
Thanks for watching Queens.
(25:03):
Click here to subscribe andclick here for more videos.
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