112. Midlife Confidence in the Bedroom Starts Here—No Intercourse Required | Lee Jagger (Replay) - School of Midlife

Episode Transcript
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Laurie (00:00):
You know how we talk about all things mid-life on the
school of midlife podcast.
Well, we're going to talk aboutmidlife relationships today in a
slightly different way.
Today's episode.
We're chatting with Lee Jagger,who is a sexpert.

(00:21):
And she's going to talk to you.
Talk to me, talk to us about.
Having the best sex of ourlives.
Without intercourse.
So.
If you've got kids in the car,especially young ones, this
might not be the mostappropriate episode for them.
But for the rest of us buckle upbecause this is going to be a

(00:43):
good one.
Welcome to the School of Midlifepodcast.
I'm your host, LaurieReynoldson.
This is the podcast for themidlife woman who starting to
ask herself big life questions.
Like, what do I want?
Is it too late for me?
And what's my legacy beyond myfamily and my work.

(01:03):
Each week we're answering thesequestions and more.
At the School of Midlife, we'relearning all of the life lessons
they didn't teach us in schooland we're figuring out finally
what it is we want to be when wegrow up.
Let's make midlife your bestlife.

Track 1 (01:23):
Hey there.
Welcome back to the School ofMidlife podcast.
I am so excited about our topictoday.
I heard I had the pleasure ofhearing Lee speak a while ago,
and I knew that this wassomething I had to bring to the
podcast.
So without further ado, let meintroduce Lee Jagger to you.

(01:44):
Lee, why don't, Lee, why don'tyou tell us what you do?

Lee Jagger (01:51):
I love I love telling people what I do.
I help women have the best sexof their lives.
Especially, you know,menopausal, post-menopausal
women, people, women who think,oh yeah, my best years are
behind me.
I help them have the best sex oftheir lives without intercourse,

(02:15):
and I know that's gonna thrillsome people for loop.

Track 1 (02:19):
Uh, yeah, tell me more about that.
So you're saying that we canhave the best sex of our lives
without intercourse.
I'm gonna need you to go deeperon that.
And here's the other thing is I,I, this is gonna be full of
intended puns.
I am sure, because I can't helpmyself,

Lee Jagger (02:37):
Yeah, it's, it's impossible to stay away from
them.
So I, I teach women eroticmassage and so by using nothing
more than their hands, they canmake their guy see God.
I have over 69 differenttechniques and most of which a

(02:58):
guy can't even ask for.
Like when we think of a guypleasuring himself, we're
thinking pretty well up and downmovements, and we think that's
all there is when it comes totouching a guy's privates.
it's so much more than that andit's.
It's not fast and furious.
It's not, a means to an end, youknow, I'm gonna do this so we

(03:21):
can get'em hard so we can, youknow, have intercourse and
that's it.
Um, no, it's so much more thanthat and it's so much more
sensual.
And I think of erotic massageslike a slow Sunday along the
curves of his body and your timeand taking in the view and just

(03:43):
basking and enjoying and, and itactually, it puts women in the
driver's seat.
Like instead of sex beingsomething that we go along with,
that's done to us.
know, penetration is the guycoming into us, like it we're,
it's done to us.
Well, sensual massage or eroticmassage.

(04:06):
Really puts women in thedriver's seat where they get to
take control in the bedroom in areally comfortable way.
Like if, if you're not used totaking control in the bedroom,
then when I mention that womenget sweaty, like, it's like, uh,
no, I, I don't know what to do.
I don't wanna take control.
No, no.
But I, I teach women how to dothat in a really safe, easy,

(04:29):
very baby step kind of way.
And, and that lends itself tomassive empowerment in the
bedroom and out of the bedroom,just in the relationship in
general.
They learn how to ask for whatthey want when they start out by
giving guys what they can't evenimagine, So it definitely, it

(04:53):
helps the women like this.
This seems like a, oh, thatsounds really great for the guy.
What do out of this?

Track 1 (05:02):
Right, right.

Lee Jagger (05:03):
get a lot.
Out of it.
Confidence is the first thingthat starts turning around when
people start getting into myworld,

Track 1 (05:11):
Well, I do wanna dive more into that, but let's take a
step back first.
How did you find, how'd you getinto erratic massage?

Lee Jagger (05:23):
Well, um, I did not go looking for this.
I will say that first off, thatwas, this is the, this is the
last thing that I would'veimagined me doing.
Um, uh, being a sex coach.
There's just no I wouldn't haveseen that coming, but a few
years back, I remember I waslying belly down on my bed, and

(05:43):
I was counting out the coins inthe bottom of my purse and a few
bills, and all the money from mypurse added up to$28 and 23
cents.
I'll never forget that number.

Track 1 (05:55):
And that doesn't get you very far, does it?

Lee Jagger (05:57):
and that was, that was more than what I had in my
bank account.

Track 1 (06:00):
Yeah.

Lee Jagger (06:01):
yeah, things were a little dire at the time.
And as I'm scooping up all thechange for my bedspread, phone
rang and it was this woman whosaw my Craigslist ad that I had,
I'd placed looking for work.
And she said, Hey, uh, you wannado erotic massage?
You can make a ton of cash doingthese happy endings.

Track 1 (06:22):
What did your, what did your Craigslist ad?
What?
What were you advertising on?
Craigslist.

Lee Jagger (06:28):
yeah.
Well, I, I, I, uh, I wasadvertising for Swedish massage,
like therapeutic massage,

Track 1 (06:34):
Got it.

Lee Jagger (06:35):
and she's like, well, we could spice those
massages up and make you a wholelot more money.
And, and here I am.
I did not see this coming.
And here I am with my mouthhanging open and I'm thinking,
like me, let me tell you alittle something, Laurie, about
my sex life up until this pointin time.

Track 1 (06:55):
Bring it.

Lee Jagger (06:56):
wasn't exactly what you would call a Tigris.
Like I had a libido.
I was menopause, so sex wasgetting kind of uncomfortable,
dryness and whatnot.
half the time my boyfriendcouldn't even get it up and, and
I had zero confidence in thebedroom.

(07:17):
I, I never initiated all that.
you know when, you know when aguy, he like pulls your hand
down towards his penis silentlyasking you to tickle his pickle

Track 1 (07:28):
Yes, I, I am aware of that

Lee Jagger (07:30):
Yeah.
I'd be thinking in my head, oh,oh my God, I hope he gets hard
fast.
Cuz he could just stick it inalready and you know, cuz I
don't know what to do with myhands.
So doing erratic massage as ajob, I was ridiculous.
It was laughable.

(07:50):
I was not qualified.
I certainly didn't want to dothat kind of work, but here I am
looking down at the change on mybed.
I needed the money honestly.
So I figured I'd just do it acouple weeks just to get ahead.
So I took the job and on thatfirst day I was determined to be

(08:11):
that sexy tigress pretend to,you know, like be all confident,
fake it till you make it kind ofthing.
So the guys would give me areally big tip cuz I needed the
cash.

Track 1 (08:23):
No pun intended.

Lee Jagger (08:25):
you, you you ever watched the show Seinfeld?

Track 1 (08:29):
Yes.

Lee Jagger (08:30):
Yeah.
You know the character Elaineand her crazy dance moves,

Track 1 (08:34):
Yes, I know that 100%

Lee Jagger (08:37):
She's so cool.
She's busting out some funkymoves, she looks totally
awkward.
Yeah, that was me.
Except I was not oblivious to myawkwardness.
I was feeling it very deeply,especially the happy ending
part.
I was just fumbling my waythrough.
I didn't know what to do than,you know, just up and down.

(09:00):
there was no warm warmuptraining on a cucumber.
No, I was just thrown right in,naked man on a table.
And at one point during thehappy ending, the guy pushed my
hand he finished himself off.
And just standing theresilently, trying not to fidget.

(09:24):
Not sure where to look.
Not sure where to put my oilyhands while he's whacking
himself off.
God, I hated that incompetent.
It was horrible,

Track 1 (09:37):
But you came back,

Lee Jagger (09:38):
What's that?

Track 1 (09:39):
but you went back the next day, I'm assuming?

Lee Jagger (09:41):
yeah, I mean, I was, I had a, uh, come to Jesus
moment in that moment because Irealized sexy situations, I, I
was just used to the guy takingthe lead me just going along
with whatever he wanted to do.
I had no creativity in thebedroom.
I didn't know how to rock aguy's world other than open up

(10:03):
my legs and let'em go at it.
Like down to it, I had no game.
I had no power in the bedroom.
And, you know, I could havebooked it out of that office
with my tail between my legs andnever go back.
And I seriously considered it.
But then at the same time, I gotthis thought, Lee, it's time for

(10:25):
you to put your big girl pantieson.
dang it, I wanted to be great inbed.
I wanted to know how to touch aguy confidently.
And I knew in my bones that thisjob my opportunity, my practice
ground to step into my power.
So instead of running back to mycomfort zone, I leaned in

Track 1 (10:48):
Yeah.

Lee Jagger (10:48):
did that work for not for two weeks like I had
planned, but for years.
And I accumulated get this over2000 clients and you do anything
2000 times you're good at it.
you're gonna some kinks, And soby practicing on all these guys

(11:10):
over the years, I discoveredabout 69 different techniques
touch a guy's privates to bringhim to his knees.
I had a guy come in with Ed.
A lot of guys actually come inwith Ed erectile dysfunction,
and I figured out exactly how toknock his socks off.
I felt like Beyonce struttingonto her stage and owning it.

Track 1 (11:33):
Yes, girl,

Lee Jagger (11:34):
Yeah.
Anyway, it was a totalturnaround.
Surprising side effect was thatsexy time with my boyfriend
immediately turned around All ofa sudden I was this wild cat
that I had never been.
I was always in the mood.
Um, first time I gave him anerotic massage, he said, what

(11:55):
you doing for the next 50 years?
like, he's looking at me likeheart emojis in his eyes, like
I'm the best thing since pizzaand beer and his ed, no longer a
problem.
I totally rocked his frickingworld, whether he was hard or
not, and actually I rocked myworld.

(12:16):
Most importantly, I had the bestsex of my life intercourse, and
I didn't even know that waspossible at the time.
We

Track 1 (12:27):
And is that because of his reaction to you after the
massage?
Or you just because you had beentouching 2000 penises, then all
of a sudden you understood whatwas important for you?

Lee Jagger (12:40):
Yes, yes.
I had this confidence.
Like I knew, I knew what to doto blow a guy away.
There was no more of this.
Um, you know, oh, I hope I'mdoing a right.
I hope he likes this.
Does he like it?
He's squirming a little bit.
I don't know.
But he's not saying anythinglike, there was no chatter in my

(13:00):
brain.
literally strutting into thebedroom thinking in my brain, oh
boy, you have no idea what'scoming your way.
I'm, you're gonna, you're gonnawanna put a ring on it, like
it's, you are gonna wanna lockthis down because I'm gonna be
the best thing that you've everhad between the sheets.

(13:20):
That was my confidence level.
Complete 180 from what it wasbefore.
And at some point, Mygirlfriends are starting to
notice I'm changing personally,and the sparks flying between me
and my boyfriend, which hadn'tbeen flying for a while, and
we're like, Lee, you doing theywanted me to give them tips for

(13:43):
their boring sexless marriages.
And I kid you not, somemarriages were saved because of
some of my tips.
And so helping my friends on theone hand a happier relationship
or getting guys off in my officeon the other hand, yeah, my
friends more gratifying thanbeing at the office with those

(14:07):
strange guys.
after honing my skills on over2000 penises, that's it.
I was done.
I, I stopped working with themen and I, I've been teaching
women everything I've learnedever since.

Track 1 (14:21):
I, I'm, I'm interested, um, because I think a lot of
women in particular, you know,we were raised with this, gotta
be a good girl, kind of, youknow, not necessarily
submissive, but where men usetheir sexual partner number as
sort of a badge of honor.
When women do it, you know,we're not, it should be very low

(14:43):
or it should be one or two.
Did you have any troublesconvincing women that this was a
role that they should take inthe bedroom?
Or, I mean, do you, do you workon any mindset shifts there for
them to step into that innerTigris?

Lee Jagger (15:01):
A hundred percent yes.
Women, when they first come seethey're very tentative.
They're very hesitant becausethere's this all that, like you
said, all this old conditioningthat they've been brought up,
all the media, like if we're, ifwe're all.
Crazy in the bedroom.
We're a slut.

(15:22):
We're, we're loose, we're, um,permit promiscuous like, it,
it's, we, it, this heavyconnotation is laid on our
shoulders when we're rocking thebedroom.
So yeah, there's a littlehesitancy until they realize,
like, I have a coaching, acoaching program.
It is group coaching.

(15:43):
very quickly see other womentalk confidently about their
experiences.
So as soon as they get a whiffof what's really happening,
like.
Women's confidence isincreasing.
They actually know how to saythe things that they're thinking
in their brain.
So when they're in bed andthey're thinking, oh God, I've

(16:06):
told them, I don't really likethat when he does that, but it
stays in their brain.
They don't say it out don't knowhow to say the words in a way
that it's actually gonna movethe needle.
It's actually gonna be effectivecommunication.
So once women get a, uh, ahandle on what this is really
about, it's not really about theguys, honestly.

(16:27):
Like it's, a happy side effect.
But this is all about womenstepping into their power and
getting what they want in thebedroom.
It's not about being a floozy,it's about.
Stepping into your own power andhaving a voice in your
relationship.
And if you can ask for what youwant in the bedroom, my gosh,
can ask like the rest of yourrelationship.

(16:49):
It's a domino effect.
It just all falls into placebecause then you can ask for
what you want in the kitchen, inthe boardroom with your boss.
for that raise cuz now you're aconfident woman.
So, um, yeah, it it's, it's abig domino effect and it's all
about reconditioning, what it'slike to be in charge of your own

(17:12):
sex life and to figure out whatyou want.
A lot of women don't even knowwhat to ask for until down

Track 1 (17:20):
I mean, because a lot of them have been married 20, 30
years.
They coupled up with a partnerin sometimes high school or
college and you know, it's notlike we had any sort of real sex
education.
I mean, you, if you think backto high school, you know, or

(17:40):
junior high or whenever it was,we learned about menstruation
and we learned about biology,but really nothing how it went
together or anything that had todo with, you know, intimacy
comes a lot from the brain, notnecessarily from the physical
aspect of it.
And so I, I'm just so fascinatedby the work that you're doing,

(18:04):
and I think it's doing such agreat service for midlife women
in particular, because we didn'tgrow up with these skills.
And it, so do you ever havewomen who have been in these
long-term relationships all of asudden, you know, they don't,
they don't tell their spouse ortheir long-term partner that,
you know, I'm, I'm working withLee, and then all of a sudden

(18:26):
they're, they're the guys.
Like, what's going on here?
Who, who are you?
Um, are you having an affair?
What happened?
Or anything like that ever comeup?

Lee Jagger (18:37):
Yes, yes.
Most of the women I work withare in their forties, fifties,
sixties, and, um, you know,they've been married for 20, 30
years and, uh, And or longerthey haven't been intimate in 15
years or what?
Like Yeah, like really drasticsituation turnarounds.

(18:58):
Because when, when a womanstarts this, like, the guy's not
gonna see this coming.

Track 1 (19:05):
Right?

Lee Jagger (19:05):
gonna walk the bedroom and she's gonna say,
okay, honey, down on the bed,get naked, and your face up.
You put your hands behind yourhead and you just take all this,
that I'm gonna shovel on you,like all this love.
And, and he's, he's to, yes,he's totally blown away.

(19:27):
And he's like, what the hell isjust happening now?
But the thing is, guys are dyingthis.
this very, very, very quicklylooks like an antidote for a
marriage or a.
So, so, you know, boring, oldroutine marriage.

(19:51):
Um, so the guys like, no, theguys have never ever said, are
you cheating?
It's sort of like, thank Godyou've been picking up my hint.
Thank God you're giving me thisaffection that I have never felt
in my life.
Life.
I can't tell you how many womenwho've done this, and the first
time they do just a coupletechniques, like I got over 69.

(20:13):
But you, you put threetechniques on, um, you do three
techniques on your guy, andit'll make them cry.
Like guys have openly weptbecause they've never been
touched with that much care andcompassion affection without.

(20:36):
And I tell women when they firstdo this, do not let your guy
touch you.
Do not expect him toreciprocate.
Like just let him your touch andthis degree of love, which he's
probably never felt before, menwill weep.

Track 1 (20:56):
Well, and I wouldn't,

Lee Jagger (20:57):
powerful because they've n they're always used to
being the giver.
They're always used to being theinitiator that I'm trying to get
some all the time, she's puttingand she's blocking me, and all
of a sudden she's giving me whatI want to a degree that I have
never even experienced orimagined in my life.
my God.
Yeah.
No, he's, he's not questioningher or suspicious, he's just

(21:20):
thanking God,

Track 1 (21:22):
Well, and I would assume too, I mean that's almost
a badge of masculinity ormanhood, right?
Is, is to be the provider andthe giver.
Um, so I can imagine that thereare some probably wondering,
like, you want me to just liedown here with my hands behind

(21:45):
my head,

Lee Jagger (21:47):
Right.
Yeah.
And you would think that thatwould be very emasculating, but
it's actually not.
Um, because the guy will want toin a manly way in all sorts of
ways, like in the bedroom, likeshe's gonna get thrown down on
the bed and he's gonna liketreat her like a goddess, or

(22:11):
he's gonna make her dinner.
Or he's gonna buy her a, a newiPhone he is gonna fix that
fence that's been creaky that hehas been putting off for six
months.
Like, and I'm giving you reallife examples.

Track 1 (22:25):
Yeah.

Lee Jagger (22:26):
that my clients tell me like, he did the dishes.
never done the dishes.
You know, like he, he will wantto step up and, you know,
maintain that manly.
I am, I, I, can't be outdone

Track 1 (22:42):
Yeah, I was, um, and I was wondering because, you know,
so many of our listeners arethese midlife women who are
accustomed to taking care ofeverything for everyone else in
their life.
Whether it's making sure thatthe lacrosse uniform is washed
and dried before the game fortheir kids, or the dinner
reservations are made for theirmother-in-law's birthday or

(23:03):
something with work.
So, you know, one of the thingsI, I was wondering about is, so
what's in it for the women whoare just thinking, God, I've
been doing this for everybodyelse in my life and I'm so tired
and can't we just go to bed?
But it sounds like, you know,and when I say go to bed, like
go to sleep and we can deal withthis in three weeks when we're

(23:23):
on schedule to do this again orwhatever.
Um,

Lee Jagger (23:27):
right?

Track 1 (23:28):
it sounds like that there is, there's definitely
something more in it for thewomen by giving to their
partner, they're able to.
Not only ratchet up the intimacyin the relationship, but then
also change their mindset abouthow they're showing up in all
sorts of different relationshipsin their life.

Lee Jagger (23:51):
Yes, they're listening right now, aren't
really gonna get it until itactually happens.
And they're like, oh, okay, nowI get it, but I'll give you the
words.
So Um, so I had mentioned beforeconfidence.
And confidence seems like acliche kind of term until you

(24:12):
are, and then it's just who,it's just who you become.
Like be able to confidence toask for what you want.
The confidence to say, you know,honey.
That thing that you always do.
Can we talk about that?
You know, like to be able tobring up conversations in a very
non, um, non defensive kind ofway, non fighting evoking kind

(24:34):
of way.
Um, the, it gives women a lot ofcommunication skills in their
relationship for sure.
And the confidence to startthose, those conversations.
Um, Also, like there's a lot ofwomen in midlife who are
starting over, like they'regetting or their hubby has
passed away and they'rereentering this dating world

(24:57):
that is completely differentthan the last time that they
dated.

Track 1 (25:01):
Yeah.

Lee Jagger (25:02):
so, for a woman to be able to walk into a first
date situation, not having themind chatter of, okay, is he
gonna like me?
Oh, I hope he likes me.
Is he gonna call me?
I don't, I don't know if thisconversation's going all that
well.
Like, I like ho hopefully,hopefully I get a call back or
like, there's none of thatchatter.

(25:22):
She's walking in thinking toherself, this guy doesn't know
it right now, but he just wonthe lottery by having a first
date with me.
And he's gonna be the luckiestguy on the planet if I accept a
second date from him.
And I don't have to do, I want asecond date from this guy, are

(25:43):
my magic hands.
Um, gonna be wasted on this guy?
Or is, is he worthy of me?
Oh my

Track 1 (25:49):
they sponge worthy?

Lee Jagger (25:51):
who walk into a date thinking those thoughts, it's
always, Ooh, he likes me.
This guy's really hot.
Ooh, I really like him.
I hope he likes me.
Like, no, no, no, no.
You are a goddess.
You're a queen.
And so to give women at thisphase of their life, that super,
um, level of confidence, that'spriceless.

(26:15):
That's priceless.
And, and I had one, I had oneguy say to me like a man in my,
uh, office, who I, he was one ofmy clients and I told him that I
was retiring and I was gonna beteaching women to do these
things for their guy at home.
And he looked at me and his jawdropped, dropped open, and his

(26:38):
eyes just got really big.
And he said, oh my gosh, Lee.
If women did this for their guyat home, he would swim oceans
for her

Track 1 (26:51):
Aw.

Lee Jagger (26:51):
oceans like the things that your guy will do for
you, if you will do this onelittle thing for him that
actually is fun for you.
By the way, this isn'tobligatory at all.
You're actually having probablyalmost as much fun as him
believe it or not.
It's so, it is so good to feelthat powerful in the bedroom to

(27:13):
do this and make him do that inresponse and go, yeah, I caused
that.
I rocked his world.
Like you have all the power.
So that is very intoxicating.
Women, women get, I think, moreout of this than men.
Men get the physical pleasureand the, the knowledge that he
is fully 100% loved and admiredand respected and adored through

(27:38):
your touch.
That's what he is gonnainterpret it as.
But ladies, you get way more wayoutta it,

Track 1 (27:46):
I love that.
And you know, I, earlier youwere talking about taking
control and empowerment, and Idefinitely think that if you can
ask for what you want in such anintimate setting, then you are
going to be able to ask for whatyou want in all sorts of
settings.
I mean, I think that the kind ofgo-to response for women is

(28:10):
fine, I'm fine right?
Which in, in all sorts of areas,not just in the bedroom, but,
um, it seems like definitely askill that, or not necessarily a
skill, but a way of being and away of showing up in your life
that will have amazing rippleeffects, not only in your

(28:31):
personal relationship, in yourromantic relationship, but in
all areas of your life.

Lee Jagger (28:37):
Yeah.
And honestly like.
When, when you said fine, like,oh, I'm fine.
And there's so many ladies inrelationships right now where
the relationship is just fine.
And you know, the old saying,life is, is too short.

(29:00):
Well, I think life is too darnlong for a crappy or a fine sex
life.
Like unless you're, unless youwant to be roommates and that's
not why you got married.
So I don't believe anybody whosays, yeah, I just want, I'm
cool with being roommates.
I really don't believe that youdidn't get married to be
roommates with this guy.

(29:21):
is something that you'resettling for to make a crappy
situation bearable.
Yes, I get that.
And you're doing the best thatyou can.
Of course you are.
That's, that's the best thatyou, the best scenario that you
can imagine right now.
It's just amicably getting alongas mostly but life's too darn

(29:44):
long to live without passion,you know, to live without giddy
laughter in the bedroom or outof the bedroom.

Track 1 (29:54):
Yeah.

Lee Jagger (29:54):
it's just life is too long to live in mediocrity,
especially your life partner.

Track 1 (30:03):
I 100% agree.
Um, the up until this episode,the number one downloaded
episode for the School ofMidlife deals with gray divorce
and why midlife women haveaffairs.
Um, and it's most of the time,you know, they're, they're in
these very loving relationships.

(30:23):
They love their partner.
They just, they have affairsbecause they wanna feel
something different than whatthey have always felt,
particularly in the bedroom.
So I think that this is aninteresting antidote and maybe
something that they, they shouldtry or if they wanna save the
relationship.
And the reason that they'regoing outside of the marriage is

(30:44):
for like the physical piece ofit, or the intimacy.
This definitely seems like anantidote to the doldrums and
the, the settling.

Lee Jagger (30:53):
Uh, for for sure.
Yes.
Um, and that soundsself-serving, but that's the
reason why I do this cuz itactually works.

Track 1 (30:59):
Yeah.

Lee Jagger (31:00):
also guys, same thing.
I mean, most of my clients, myguy clients were with somebody,
they had a significant other,far majority of the guys were
either engaged or had agirlfriend or a wife.
And in almost every case, theyloved wife or whoever.

(31:22):
They didn't wanna break up forsure.
But they just weren't gettingsomething physically at home
they needed.
And guys, typically, generallyspeaking, um, they, they need
this sexual, uh, attention.
Like they need water.

Track 1 (31:43):
Hmm.

Lee Jagger (31:43):
Just, just like women.
We need physical affection.
We need to feel safe and secure,and we need all those things
too.
And men, I think maybe even moreso, and, and we don't, we don't
hear them asking for it otherthan it seems like they're a
horn dog.
Oh.
He just, he just wants to havesex.
And there there's no, you know,they don't understand that we
need more than just thephysical.
We need other things too.

(32:05):
But guys really need thatphysical, there's a reason why
their privates are called theirmanhood men.
Identify so heavily with theirgenitals.
So ladies, if you are nottouching his genitals, if your
vagina is rarely, but, but onthose odd ca rare cases when you
are actually having sex, it'sonly your vagina that is

(32:27):
touching his penis.
That is a really lonely placefor a man.
Like, um, mother Teresa, believeit or not, taught us a little
bit about this

Track 1 (32:42):
She did tell.
Tell me

Lee Jagger (32:44):
right?
Mother Teresa.
Uh, she, uh, she has this quote,said, the most terrible poverty
is loneliness

Track 1 (32:56):
Mm

Lee Jagger (32:56):
feeling of being unwanted.
And when a man doesn't get hispenis touched, that's a very
lonely place for a man to be.

Track 1 (33:08):
sure.

Lee Jagger (33:09):
very unwanted.
If you don't want his penis, itfeels to him that you don't want
him.
He takes that very generally andpersonally.
So, um, so yes, men, men needthis touch and it is so healing.
And when get, when men feelfilled up in this way, it is

(33:34):
amazing what he will do for youin the bedroom.
And he will, you know, you're,you're going to school, you're
learning a few techniques here.
You wouldn't believe the amountof men who are willing to
reciprocate and get that bookthat you recommended that
teaches him how to pleasure youbetter now

Track 1 (33:50):
Mm, mm-hmm.

Lee Jagger (33:51):
actually, he, he doesn't wanna be out done in the
bedroom.
So wanna reciprocate and he'sgonna wanna get back to that
sweet spot that you've just.
T, you know, treated him too.
So Yeah.
He's gonna treat you to somefireworks.
Yeah.
He's gonna make you not everthink cheating on him because

(34:14):
you are getting filled up athome too.

Track 1 (34:17):
Here, here's a hot take for you.
I, um, I feel like most peoplein committed relationships feel
like everyone else is having waymore sex than they are.
What's your take on that?

Lee Jagger (34:31):
Yeah, because we, yes, that's exactly what it
seems like and.
And Hollywood has brainwashed itus into thinking certain things
about relationships and how theyshould look.
Social media, you know, there'sthe, the happy hubby picture and
you know, the family shots andeveryone's happy and everyone's

(34:52):
having a great love life.
And, and we assume that's agreat love life as well, because
when they're in, you know, whenthey come over for that little
get together, they're the,they're a little bit more
affectionate there than they'reat home.
you know, people bring out thebest of the best of their
relationship when eyes are onthem.

(35:15):
And sex is, is such a taboosubject that we don't really
open up and be vulnerable aboutwhat's actually going on.
Um, we don't wanna air our dirtylaundry, we let the world
believe and our relatives andeverybody else that, um, great.

(35:36):
Oh, we're, Tom and I were betterthan ever.
And you assume, oh, okay.
Then if things are better thanever, then you're assuming that
they have a better than ever sexlife.
And that is, in most cases, notthe case.
It's a lie.
It's a, it's a facade keep avery uncomfortable truth from
surfacing because no one reallywants to look that truth dead in

(36:00):
the eye have a very raw and realconversation about it.
Because in their brains, they'rethinking, there's nothing I can
do with this, that I'm, I'm notgonna split our family up.
I'm not gonna get a divorce.
It would, I can't afford adivorce

Track 1 (36:17):
Mm-hmm.

Lee Jagger (36:18):
so I'm just gonna tuck my head down, sweep this
stuff under the rug and just.
Maintain that comfortableroommate situation and not
ruffle any feathers and notbring it up to family because we
don't wanna get into this.
We're just maintaining

Track 1 (36:35):
Yeah.

Lee Jagger (36:35):
I can handle.
This is can handle, and, and if,if we let the, the, the, um,
doors open to this, I can'thandle that.
I can't, you know, I can't comeback from that.
It's, you gotta stay comfortablynumb in order to maintain a,
numbed out relationship.

(36:57):
Like, so it's, it's a survivalmechanism.
I think that we do that, but wedon't realize that we're giving
everybody in the pre theimpression that their sex life,
which sucks, is the exception.
it's not.
It's the norm, unfortunately.

Track 1 (37:16):
Yeah, I, I agree.
I, and I, I think it's ironictoo that most of the time women
would, they're more accustomedor they feel more comfortable
with kind of a cut and runmentality, which is, you know,
I'm not gonna settle anymore.
I, this isn't working for meanymore.

(37:38):
My dog, I think Um, and insteadof trying to nurture the
relationship, they, they just goon to the next.
Um, so I, I really feel likewhat you are offering here is it
could be very life-changing forso many, so many people.

Lee Jagger (37:58):
Yeah.
thing is, if people cut and run,yes, that's a viable op, uh,
option.
However, with the next guy,There you are, you have a part
to play in what went down inthat last failed relationship.
So, so even, even if I tell myladies this, my clients, I say,

(38:21):
okay, yeah.
If you think that next year whenyour kids go off to college,
you're gonna get a divorce.
Okay, fine.
I'm not gonna talk you out ofit.
However, use your current guy aspractice ground to heal to fix
you and whatever part thatyou're playing in this horrible,
um, situation that you're in,because it always takes two

(38:44):
people like you're feeding offeach other here.
And guess what happens?
They end up healing thatrelationship and they don't get
that divorce because now theyare having a better time with
their guy than when they firstmet.
Like, it's better than ever.
So I give ladies the opportunityto cut and run, but I'm like,

(39:05):
no, no, no, but first let's justwork on you.
Use your guy as the the crashtest dummy to practice on.
You know, you, you're gonnapractice your skills on this guy
and then you can cut and run andshe never wants to cut and run.
Then

Track 1 (39:22):
Well, I mean, you've got so much history together.
There was a reason that you gottogether to begin with.
So it does seem like if, if youcan, I, I would say fix this
little problem.
And of course it's not a littleproblem, but it's, you know, if
she already feels safe with thisperson, it's, like I said there,
there's plenty of history.

(39:42):
So if they can just get overthis hurdle together, um, it, it
seems like certainly it'sfinancially better and, and, and
Lee and I are not saying if youare in a terrible relationship,
stay in a terrible relationship.
But for those of you that wantto spice it up a little bit and
maybe take it to another levelthat you haven't had for a

(40:04):
while, that's what we're talkingabout here.

Lee Jagger (40:07):
Yes.
Thank you for that littlecaveat.
I appreciate that.
Um, if, and I'm the first one tosay, Hey, so if this guy is
abusing you in any way, cut andrun, get, get out.
And um, that, that's anexception to my rule is get out
of there if, if he's abusive.

(40:27):
Um, but like I had this one Ihad this one lady, oh my gosh.
When I first started teachingthis to women, um, this lady
emailed me and she said she herwhole relationship, big long
email.
And basically at the end of it,when she was asking for help,
couldn't stand the air that thisguy breathed.

(40:50):
He didn't even have to say aword.
He'd walk in the room and shewas instantly in a bad mood.
Those are her words and.
And she went into detail and Iresponded instead of like, oh
yeah, I got this course you canbuy and I can help you.
No, I actually said to her, haveyou considered a divorce?
Cause feels like it's, there'stoo much water under the bridge.

(41:13):
Like she'd been married for, Idon't know, 25, 30 years, like a
long time.
And it had been bad for most ofthat.
And she just, it was bad.
And, and so, so I kind ofsloughed her off.
I'm like, I don't, I don't thinkI can help you.
But she joined one of my threeday challenges or something, and

(41:37):
she was determined.
So she ended up signing up andlater I found out that she was
the one who sent me that email,and she completely turned things
around.
She, like, they were, they werelaughing together.
Like before, she wouldn't evenbring him out for dinner because
there'd be a scene, there'd be afight.
Like they didn't go anywhere inpublic together.

(41:58):
They were actually taking theirkids out together, out to
restaurants.
Like it was ridiculous how shewas able to turn that around.
So, to Sonya.
She was amazing.
Um, but it, you know, if it's anabusive situation, cut and run,
but, but it can still turn itaround if you actually want to.

(42:19):
For sure.

Track 1 (42:20):
So let's, let's talk about that because I think we
all would love to have a, abetter connection and, you know,
that confidence and theempowerment and, um, also have
great sex.
I mean, I, who doesn't wantthat?
So I guess, um, You've, you'vetalked, how can people work with
you?
You said that you've got acourse, you've got challenges.

(42:43):
But then I kind of walk methrough what that looks like,
because I mean, I think the lastthing that any of us wanna do is
have somebody else in the carand we're listening to a course
or something and it sounds like,you know, some trashy romantic
novel or we happen to be on ourcomputer at home in the dark in
our office and it looks likewe're watching YouTube or porn

(43:06):
videos or, I mean, how does onework with a sex coach?

Lee Jagger (43:12):
Right?
Yes.
And that, that's a big concern.
A a lot of people are veryconcerned that my stuff is gonna
look like porn.
I

Track 1 (43:20):
Wow.
Chick a wow.
Wow.

Lee Jagger (43:21):
if you're into porn, yeah.
Bounce, go.
Wow, wow.
Uh, if you're into porn, I'm notdissing you at all.
I'm just saying that'sentertainment.
That's not education.
And so I actually.
Am very, um, almost with how Iteach what I teach, because I be
on the opposite spectrum porn betaken seriously and as an

(43:46):
educator.
so, yeah, I'm fully dressed.
I'm not lingerie or anything.
I'm, I am demonstratingtechniques on a naked man's body
because, I mean, it'd beridiculous if I was trying to
describe on a cucumber orwhatever, you know?

Track 1 (44:03):
But I mean, and, or like, um, what was it?
Uh, joy of Sex that had picturesdrawn in it.
So I, I, it actually makes sensethat you would be doing this
with an actual human.

Lee Jagger (44:15):
Yes.
And, and it's educational and,and it's like you said, we, we
don't have this educationalbackground.
This is not taught to us in anykind of, uh, formal school
setting.
So time this happened to takeaway some of the taboo.
So, uh, you had mentionedcourses and challenges.
I've done those in the past andI found that what really, um,

(44:38):
moves the needle for women is.
Coaching, like actually beingable to talk with me and with
other ladies and getting theirperspective on what's working
for them and being inspired byother ladies', successes and all
that.
I created a membership and I putall of my courses and all the
challenges and all theinformation into one monthly

(45:00):
membership.
And, uh, and so every monththere's new techniques and we
get on, uh, group coaching callsevery week.
And, and we, we have some girltalk and a lot of the ladies,
they're like, you know, this isthe only place where I can go
and actually talk about thisstuff.

(45:20):
Like, I can't talk about thiswith my mom or my friends or my
aunt, or like, this is the onlyplace I can actually open up and
be, be vulnerable and know thatI'm fully supported and
encouraged and, and I'm gettingsome expert advice on what to do
with my situation.
And so, I don't do any of thecourses anymore.

(45:42):
I just do the monthly membership

Track 1 (45:44):
Okay.

Lee Jagger (45:45):
I have women join me on the calls and there's, there
is, there are online videos,like you can learn all the
techniques online.
I don't, I don't reallydemonstrate a lot in the, the
coaching calls, I've, I do havea dildo that I keep close by
because people are like, okay,so when you do maple sugar or
maple syrup, I can't really getmy fingers around that

(46:06):
direction.
Like, how do you, how, how can Ido this?
Blah, blah, blah, blah.
I do have, I do pull out alittle dildo to clarify certain
things for women, um, if theyhave questions about the
techniques.
But, uh, all the training isonline so they can watch it on
their own time, know, when thekids aren't around or, or

(46:28):
whatever.
Um, and actually I have, I haveladies tuning in from work with
their head earbuds in front ofthe coaching calls.
It's awesome.

Track 1 (46:39):
I, so two things that are coming to mind right now.
Um, one, you mentioned maplesyrup.
So is, do you actually use, I, Idon't know.
Do talk to me about that.

Lee Jagger (46:55):
So sorry for the confusion.
Yeah, so I name, I name all thetechniques after food because
and it easier to, instead of,oh, that thing where you take
your index finger and you circleit around the corona of his
penis, da da, I just say, okay,that's onion ring, that is
orange juice, or

Track 1 (47:14):
Got it.

Lee Jagger (47:15):
or whatever.
And so it's so much easier forwomen to remember the techniques
so that when they actually getinto the bedroom, they're like,
okay, I'm gonna do guacamole,butter, and pancake.
All right.
Got it.
and, and it's easier to remember

Track 1 (47:30):
And when you said headphones or AirPods, I'm
imagining that a scene fromAmerican Pie where the, the
guy's got the book under thebed.
Do you remember that?
Where,

Lee Jagger (47:43):
scene.
I I don't think I,

Track 1 (47:45):
well he's,

Lee Jagger (47:46):
since I saw it, so I can't remember,

Track 1 (47:47):
he's, he's, he trying to do oral sex on his
girlfriend.
Right.
And, but he's like reading aboutit.
He's got this special tonguesituation that that's in the
book and I can't remember whatthe book's called, but I could
just imagine, you know, maybenot.
But somebody's got their AirPodsin their, their, their guys
laying back with his handsbehind his head and she's kind

(48:10):
of listening to an instructionalvideo.
And

Lee Jagger (48:15):
Yeah.
You

Track 1 (48:16):
that's where my head went.

Lee Jagger (48:18):
you are not too far off the mark there cause Cause I
one of the videos that I, well,a couple of the videos, so I.
I put all these techniquestogether into what I call a
quickie.
So I'll take like four or fivetechniques.
I'll teach them individuallystep by step, this is how you do

(48:38):
them all.
And then in a separate training,I'll put them together in a
quickie.
So it's this choreographed.
You don't have to be creativewith it and figure out, okay, so
what do I do next?
How do I, how do I put thesethings together?
show you.
And women will actually plug intheir earbuds and follow along
with their, their phone off tothe side and their guy has like

(49:02):
a cloth over his eyes.
Cause I tell ladies, especiallyin the beginning, so that he's
not looking at you and you don'tfeel, you know, on a stage when
you're trying these things outfor the first time, put a cloth
over his eyes and say, oh, I'mjust gonna give you a spy
experience and little sensorydeprivation so that you're just
focused on what my hands aredoing to your body.

(49:23):
And so she can consult this,this, um, tutorial or say, you
could write a few names down ona cue card or something and put
it off on the side table so thatyou can glance over and, and
refresh your memory of whatyou're doing.
and they, and so it's the ladiessometimes say, yeah, we had a

(49:44):
threesome with you last night,Leigh because it's like I was
the room.
Okay.
So do this with your thumb andstep by step.
great.

Track 1 (49:54):
Yes, it's, it's like midlife American pie, kind of.
So question.
is it just hand techniques orAre there mouth techniques?
does it go into intercourse oris it do, is it all hand?

Lee Jagger (50:10):
Great question.
I, it, I teach only hands.

Track 1 (50:15):
Okay.

Lee Jagger (50:15):
there's things that Yeah.
That you can, and it gets quite,uh, it, it I don't even know how
to say this in a way thatdoesn't make it sound
overwhelming.
It's complicated.
Like there's a lot of thingsthat your hands can do that your
vagina cannot do, that

Track 1 (50:32):
Well, it's probably like learning, um, chord
progression on the guitar,right.
where you have to,

Lee Jagger (50:38):
It's kinda like that.
Yeah.
And there is a progression wherethere, you know, month one is
pretty easy.
Anybody can do it.
If you're a virgin you've nevereven seen a guy's penis, you can
do these techniques.
And then is a little bittrickier.
Month three.
Oh, a little bit morecomplicated.
And so it, there is aprogression.
You're using only your hands.

(51:00):
But two weeks ago in a coachingcall, one of the ladies said so,
I don't mind doing oral.
And so I was wondering how, howcan I do this with my tongue?
Like how, how can

Track 1 (51:12):
Hmm.

Lee Jagger (51:13):
And I'm like, okay, so that thing you do with your
left thumb while your right handis doing this thing with his
balls, okay, do that left thumbthing with your tongue.
And so there's ways to, yes, Iteach only hands.

Track 1 (51:27):
Yeah.

Lee Jagger (51:27):
if you were to take one of your hands make your
tongue do that, or your lips dothat or whatever, then oh yeah.
Last night one of my girls,Carrie, she said, yeah, so my
guy, he's flacid and we werehaving intercourse and he
couldn't maintain an erection, Iwas on top.
So I just, basically that thingthat I do with orange juice,

(51:51):
with the palm of my hand, I.
I did that with my vagina, hispenis, the head of his penis was
outside of my body, and I didorange juice with my vagina and
it made him come so hard.
So, so yes, there's, there'sways to modify what I teach, but
I only teach

Track 1 (52:13):
Okay.

Lee Jagger (52:13):
Yes.
Which for me was an awesomesurvival technique because at
the time that I came up with allof these, I, did not want to do
oral.

Track 1 (52:23):
yeah.

Lee Jagger (52:24):
that wasn't my happy place at the time.
So hands Yeah.
That, that was, that was asurvival technique for me.

Track 1 (52:33):
And, and you mentioned, um, your client's partner Flacid
penis.
I would assume that there arecertain issues that midlife
couples have that maybe aremore, um, prevalent in midlife
couples.
I mean, we, we've talked abouterectile dysfunction.

(52:53):
could you go into a little bitabout, um, the woman during
menopause and why maybe shedoesn't want to have sex right
now or

Lee Jagger (53:05):
Right.
Yeah.
And that's why the roommatesituation is just fine with most
women because it's like I, the,it's not comfortable anymore.

Track 1 (53:14):
Yeah.

Lee Jagger (53:15):
painful sometimes.
So there, when a woman is goingthrough menopause, post
menopause, all the, all themenopause

Track 1 (53:25):
Yes,

Lee Jagger (53:25):
then, then there is a change in body chemistry and
your vagina goes through a lotof changes.
You're the, all that, the wholearea down there is different.
So you get dryness down there.
You're not lubricating as muchas you used to.

(53:46):
lining is thinner.
So there, there can be tearingactually during intercourse.
So it's, and a lot of women,they're, oh god, love them.
They're doing the best that theycan.
They're getting creams, they'regetting lubes, they're taking
hormone replacement therapiesand different medication that,

(54:06):
medications that have differentside effects and it doesn't
always work.
And so, Instead of trying to fixthe problem, I help women work
with the problem.
Like, okay, let's let this notbe a problem.
It's not an issue.
can rock a guy's world, so hewill never miss penetration

(54:29):
ever.
Because your hands are doingstuff that feel better than And
guys have told me that.
They're like, oh yeah, I used tothink that, you know,
intercourse, that's thepinnacle.
That's where all roads lead.
That's what all men want, isthat's the home plate right
there.

Track 1 (54:48):
Yeah.

Lee Jagger (54:49):
No, there are things that she can do with her hands
that feel better than what yourvagina can do.
And so for a, from a man's pointof view, he's not nagging, um,
his wife anymore because he is,he is going to around the rings
a Saturn with just her hands.

(55:09):
So not, she's not getting that,that to let him have his way
and, and the whole obligatorysex out the window.
That goes away permanently.
And if he wants to do somethingorally on her so that, you know,
there is no penetration, but sheis getting satisfaction.

(55:31):
yeah.
There are resources I can pointout that really fit the Bill I
don't teach those, I don't men,um, the women's parts, focus on
the men's parts.
But I do have resources thatladies can pass on to their
guys.

Track 1 (55:48):
Excellent.
Um, this all sounds like ittakes a lot of time, I I mean,
we've got, uh, you mentionedorange juice and maple syrup and
pancake and 69 other fruits andvegetables and, and, and food.
So for the woman who was like,man, I, I've done, all I wanna

(56:11):
do is go to sleep.
Um, I can tell that he's turnedon.
do you teach some techniques toso that we can have that, that
great moment and then we canjust go to sleep?

Lee Jagger (56:25):
Right.
Cause that's what we want.
Like can I just roll over and

Track 1 (56:28):
Thanks.
Exactly.

Lee Jagger (56:29):
up in the morning.
I got a million things on myto-do list.
I long day.
Yes, Yes.
I I can sh I can show you how tomake you guys see God in five
minutes max.

Track 1 (56:42):
Do you hear that ladies?
So it doesn't have to be a long,drawn out situation and you can
still get your sleep.
Everybody's happy.

Lee Jagger (56:49):
Yes.
And the learning of thesetechniques, like I can teach you
how to do those things thatyou're gonna do in five minutes.
I can teach you that in lessthan 10 minutes.
And that includes you practicingon maybe a dildo or something
like it takes only a fewminutes.
Yeah.
And just a couple techniques.
Yes, I can show you 69 differenttechniques, but you really only

(57:11):
need like three to start andhe's gonna be blown away and go,
oh my God, that's amazing.
And then you can say, yeah, Iknow 69.
And that was And that's actuallywhat one of my a couple weeks
ago when she went out on a date.

(57:32):
Was he, she just blew a guy awayfor the very first time and
she's, she said that to him.
He, he's like, oh my God, Ican't even, you're taking a
course to learn a bunch ofthings.
Wow.
She goes, yeah, I know.
69, Amelia.
She didn't know all 69, she knewfour, but she, she knew there
were 69 to learn, so she said tohim, yeah, I know 69 different

(57:54):
techniques.
And that was.
Four and his giant hit theground he was just blown away.
to learn those three or fourtechniques to just start, yeah,
it takes you like five or 10minutes to learn those and then
a few minutes to execute themand your guys on a sex side for

(58:15):
days.
So yeah, it doesn't take long todo it or to learn it actually.
It's very, very simple, uh, thisisn't rocket science here.

Track 1 (58:24):
Right.
Um, I, when we were talkingbefore, you mentioned that on
your website you have one tip orsomething that folks can.
Talk to me about that.

Lee Jagger (58:38):
Yeah, the, so for ladies who wanna just dip their
toes in the water, cuz they'relike, I don't, I don't know
about this this could be reallyraunchy.
Who knows?
Right?
So I have a free technique thatladies can check out and they
just go to rock the bedroom.comand, um, and it's called

(58:59):
powdered sugar, the freetechnique.
It will drive him wild.
And it's super simple.
In fact, most women, they'llwatch it and they'll be like,
no, that, that's not gonna doanything.
But if they do it, oh, it'll dosomething

Track 1 (59:15):
Well, and I,

Lee Jagger (59:15):
thing, the guy can do that on her too.
Like it's not penis specific.
he can easily modify thattechnique for her body.
So it's, it's, a twofer

Track 1 (59:29):
so that's good.
Um, And then talk a little bitmore about the monthly
membership.
Do you, what does that looklike?
You have weekly calls, you'vegot daily calls, you've got one
a call once a month.
You, you all try out a newtechnique.

Lee Jagger (59:46):
yeah, every month are a bunch of new techniques
that, that get dropped into yourlibrary.
So it's sort of like, you know,if you were learning how to, uh,
be a better cook and you get newrecipes every month to out,
kinda like that only it's, it's,uh, erotic massage techniques
and those get dropped everymonth and then, uh, four, four

(01:00:11):
weeks of every month.
So sometimes there's five weeks,but.

Track 1 (01:00:15):
Yep.

Lee Jagger (01:00:15):
Four times a month, there is a weekly call where you
can come on Zoom with me and abunch of other ladies in the
program and, learn from whateverybody's doing and the, you
know, oh, I had this challengewith this.
What do you, what do I do to getoutta that challenge?
Or, you know, I haven't touchedmy husband in 20 years.
I'm not sure how to start this.

(01:00:37):
Help me.
Um, you know, you, you learnfrom the other ladies and myself
and those calls, that'sbasically it.
The, you need an internetconnection to learn all the
techniques every month.
Um, and then join us on Zoom,and, and goodies every month.
It's so good.

(01:01:00):
And, and if women wanna checkthat out and get all the details
of what that's like, um, thewebsite for that is rock the
bedroom.com/membership and allthe details are there.

Track 1 (01:01:11):
Great.
And we will definitely, we'lllink all of the places that you
can find Lee, because she hangsout in all sorts of social media
areas.
Um, we will do a, um, link.
Drop a, a clickable link in theshow notes for her website.
And I think you are offering amonthly membership for a

(01:01:33):
discount, sorry, on the monthlymembership for school of midlife
listeners.
Is that right?

Yes, So if, uh, if they wanna sign up for the
membership to try it out, um, Imean, you can cancel anytime
it's monthly membership.
But if they wanna try out thefirst month and get 10% off, uh,
I created a special coupon codefor your listeners and it's
Laurie 10, Laurie one zero, andyou just throw that in the, um,

(01:02:00):
coupon code box at checkout andget 10% off of their first
month.

Track 1 (01:02:05):
Excellent.
So we'll put that in the shownotes as well.
Um, before we go to the twoquestions that I ask all of our
guests, is there anything elsethat you want to talk about as,
as it relates to either thecourse or, um, What midlife
women should be doing sexuallyin, in the bedroom.

(01:02:27):
Anything else that, that wehaven't talked about?

I just would really love for women to know that, um,
this isn't about rocking yourguys' world, although you will.
This is about rocking your ownworld

Track 1 (01:02:45):
Mm.

and taking control of your own happiness, own
sexual satisfaction, your yourown life.
And so when I, when I'm talkingabout rocking the guy's world,
really is just a side effect.
is really about you ladiesbecoming so empowered and just

(01:03:10):
deliriously happy in yourrelationships.
Yeah.

Track 1 (01:03:14):
Who doesn't wanna be deliriously happy in all parts
of their life, right?
Yeah.
And so much, I mean, if itstarts at home, it's just gonna
have this ripple effecteverywhere else because we spend
a lot of time at home and wespend a lot of mental energy at
home as well.
So, um, might as well make it asgood a place to be as possible.

percent.

Track 1 (01:03:38):
So let me ask you a couple questions that I ask all
of our guests.
Um, if you could go back,knowing everything you know,
with all of your lifeexperience, what would you tell
your 30 year old self?
What advice would you give her?

Girl, you don't have to settle for the stuff that you
think you need to settle for.
You really don't, you know, likethat thing that you think you
need to do order to get thatthing that you want.
And you're, you're, know, knuck,white knuckling it the reward

(01:04:19):
is, is big on the other side,the joy is in the journey.
It's not about the reward.
if you're not enjoying thejourney, if you're settling for
white, knuckling it out in orderto get to some finish line and
reward, you're gonna be reallydisappointed girls.
So just let that stuff go.

(01:04:41):
Find the fun path.
There is no path to happiness.
said Happiness the path.
I would've told myself that at30.
Yeah.

Track 1 (01:04:52):
and I think that that applies not only in the bedroom,
right.
But

Across the board,

Track 1 (01:04:58):
yes.
I love that.
I love that.
and then finally, what have youloved most about being midlife?
Being a midlife woman?

Oh, not caring what other people think.
Oh, it's so good.
It's so good.
letting go of taking on otherpeople's.
Expectations and assumptions andthis is how it's supposed to be

(01:05:28):
and this is how I'm supposed tolook and this is how my body is
supposed to, look like.
And not just letting all that goand going.
I'm doing the best that I canwith the, the skills that I have
and the situation I'm in.
I'm doing the best that I canand I'm rocking it in my own
brain and nobody else has toactually agree with me on that.

(01:05:51):
I love that about midlife.

Track 1 (01:05:53):
I love that too.
I think that that is a perfectnote to end on.
Thank you so much for beinghere, Lee.
I really enjoyed thisconversation and I know our
listeners will as well.

been such a pleasure.
Thank you so much, Laurie.
Thank you so much for listeningto the School of Midlife
podcast.
It means so much to have youhere each week.
If you enjoyed this episode,could you do me the biggest
favor and help us spread theword to other midlife women?
There are a couple of easy waysfor you to do that first.

(01:06:24):
And most importantly, if you'renot already following the show,
would you please subscribe?
That helps you because you'llnever miss an episode.
And it helps us because you'llnever miss an episode.
Second, if you'd be so kind toleave us a five-star rating,
that would be absolutelyincredible.
And finally, I personally readeach and every one of your

(01:06:46):
reviews.
So if you take a minute and saysome nice things about the
podcast, well, that's just goodkarma.
Thanks again for listening.
I'll see you right back here.
Next week when the School ofMidlife is back in session until
then take good care.

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112. Midlife Confidence in the Bedroom Starts Here—No Intercourse Required | Lee Jagger (Replay)

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}112. Midlife Confidence in the Bedroom Starts Here—No Intercourse Required | Lee Jagger (Replay)