January 21, 2025 • 31 mins
In this replay episode of the School of Midlife podcast, we’re diving deep into the transformative power of setting the one thing that can change everything for you in 2025.
In past episodes, we've explored why reflecting on the previous year is key to setting meaningful goals for the year ahead. Today, we’re shifting focus to the most important step of all: selecting that one crucial action or decision that will lead to your best year yet.
Here’s what you can expect in today’s episode:
- Reflection: Why it's crucial to take the time to assess 2024 before setting goals. The traditional "hit the ground running" mentality is overrated—this year, we’re focusing on clarity before action.
- Real vs. Throwaway Goals: Learn the difference between goals that are just to check off a list (throwaway goals) and goals that truly push you to evolve (real goals). Real goals require change, growth, and sometimes even a bit of discomfort.
- Choosing Your One Thing: What’s the one action or decision that will make the biggest difference in your life this year? Whether it’s starting something new, stopping something that no longer serves you, or making a life-changing decision, you’ll discover how to break that one thing down into actionable steps.
- Planning for Success: Get practical advice on how to break down your big goal into smaller, more manageable tasks. I’ll share my system for visualizing and tracking progress, from setting deadlines to celebrating milestones along the way.
- Accountability and Support: If you’re feeling overwhelmed or unsure about how to break down your big goal, I’m here to help. I’m offering a limited number of one-on-one coaching sessions to create personalized action plans to help you achieve your 2025 goals.
- What’s Coming Next: Next week, we’ll dive into the habits that will support your goal. As I always say, it’s not just about the goal, but the person you become while working toward it.
If you’re ready to make 2025 the year that everything changes, this episode is a must-listen. Whether you’re on the go or at home, take a moment to really think about your one thing—the action that could transform your life—and let’s get to work on making it happen.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
In this week's episode of theschool of midlife podcast, we're
(00:02):
talking all about the one thing.
That's the one decision, the oneaction that you could take this
year that would changeeverything for you.
The one thing that would make20, 25 your best year ever.
You all want to miss it and Icannot wait to share it with
you.
Welcome to the School of Midlifepodcast.
(00:24):
I'm your host, LaurieReynoldson.
This is the podcast for themidlife woman who starting to
ask herself big life questions.
Like, what do I want?
Is it too late for me?
And what's my legacy beyond myfamily and my work.
Each week we're answering thesequestions and more.
At the School of Midlife, we'relearning all of the life lessons
(00:46):
they didn't teach us in schooland we're figuring out finally
what it is we want to be when wegrow up.
Let's make midlife your bestlife.
Hey friends.
Welcome back to another episodeof the School of Midlife
podcast.
I am your host, LaurieReynoldson, and I am so happy to
have you here with me today.
(01:08):
If you have been listening forthe last couple of episodes, you
know, that.
We're talking aboutgoal-setting.
In this episode, it's January,it's three weeks into January at
this point.
And if you have been around herefor awhile, you know that I am
someone who doesn't believe insetting goals right off the bat
(01:30):
in January.
I like to.
To get a little settled.
I like to, you know, kind of getback into the groove after being
on vacation for a little while.
And I'm a firm believer thattrying to change everything all
at once is just a recipe fordisaster.
So I never do that.
I.
I get back to work after theholidays.
(01:51):
I settle in.
I get back to what I call zero,and then that's when I start
thinking about what is it I wantto do in the year ahead.
And as I was getting ready torecord this week's episode about
goal setting.
I actually went back and I waslooking for a little bit of
inspiration and I went back andI listened to a couple of
episodes from the School ofMidlife podcast from last year.
(02:15):
And.
Uh, just as I was.
I was going to record.
This episode about goal-setting.
I came across.
An episode from last year thatis spot on.
And honestly, I enjoyed it somuch.
I listened to it twice.
It gave me exactly theinspiration that I was looking
for.
To figure out what it is I wantto accomplish this year.
(02:39):
The one decision I've made aboutmy business.
For 2025.
One thing that I'm going to stopdoing.
I'll share more of that inanother episode with you, but
suffice it to say.
After listening to.
Last year's episode.
I just, I didn't think that Icould do any better.
And the name of the game.
(03:00):
Isn't I don't think recordingcontent just to record content
for content sake.
Um, if, if I can save myself alittle bit of time and give you
some good information along theway, then it seems to me like a
win-win.
So instead of trying to recreatethe wheel here and probably not
doing it quite as well as I didlast year, I thought we would
(03:22):
relisten to.
An episode that dropped at thebeginning of 2024.
About goal-setting.
We're going to talk all about.
How you can use your year-endreview guide to help you create
your goals for 2025.
We'll talk about throwawaygoals.
We'll talk about.
Scheduling the goals that youwant to achieve.
(03:45):
It's really, it's it's chockfull of incredible.
Ideas.
And strategies for you to make20, 25 your best year yet.
So yeah, some of the dates aregoing to be wrong.
Um, but I'll make sure that youhave clickable links in the show
notes to the completely updatedyear end review guide.
(04:05):
And any other.
Materials that are mentioned.
I'll make sure that you have theupdated links in the show notes.
And then finally in the, theepisode does mention.
That at the beginning of lastyear was taking on just a
handful of one-on-one clients.
And I'm going to do that againthis year.
I've kind of stepped away fromdoing much one-on-one coaching
(04:27):
to make myself available.
For the gap year and other groupprograms that we've got going
on.
But there has seemed to be a bitof.
An uptick in interest onone-on-one coaching.
So if that's you and yourinterested, then drop me an
email.
I'd love to chat with you.
So without further ado, let'sget into the one thing I hope
(04:50):
you enjoy it.
I'll see you back here next weekwith a brand new episode for our
100th episode of the School ofMidlife can you believe it?
I I'm amazed, I hope you enjoythis episode as much as I do.
Hey friends.
Welcome back to the school ofmidlife podcast.
I am so happy you are heretoday.
(05:13):
For the past several weeks.
I've been talking about howlooking back at last year will
actually help you have your bestyear ever in 2024.
There have been, gosh, fourepisodes.
I think if you haven't alreadylistened to the closing time
series that dropped during theweek between Christmas and new
(05:35):
years.
Where I talked about the reasonswhy a year-end review is
important.
I also created a 14 pageworkbook for you to use, to walk
you through how to complete.
The most effective year-endreview.
(05:56):
Essentially, it starts with ahigh level 30,000 foot level.
You know, what were yourimpressions of 2023?
And then sort of like adetective looking for clues then
really diving into last year andgetting crystal clear on what
was great, what was not so good.
Maybe what you want to leavebehind in 2023.
(06:18):
And what you want to take withyou in 2024.
In fact, there were 11 questionsthat help you get super dialed
in.
On.
What happened last year.
And how do you want to use thatto set you up for next year?
And then once you've completedthe work of the year-end review,
(06:40):
Last week's episode explainedhow to use that information you
discovered in your year-endreview to create your best year
yet.
So, if you haven't listened tothose four episodes, You'll get
more out of this episode.
If you go back and listen tothem first.
I'll add clickable links to themin the show notes.
So super easy.
(07:01):
All you have to do is pause thisepisode, scroll down to the show
notes and click on the link orlinks to the episodes that
you've missed quickly listenedto them.
And then you can come back.
But I also know that there,there are several of you out
there.
Who you're already here and youaren't into playing catch-up.
I get it.
So for whatever reason, youdon't want to go back and listen
(07:23):
to the episodes from last coupleof weeks.
That's totally fine.
Stay with me here and listen.
Today's episode.
Trust me though.
You'll get a lot more out of it.
If you listen.
Then go back and listen to theprior episodes and then maybe
relisten to today's episodeafter you've caught up on the
other.
Four episodes, how, however youwant to do it.
(07:45):
Okay.
So, so far we focused only on2023.
Notice that we haven't set any20, 24 goals yet.
I know that might feel a littleweird to you.
And that's because it is.
Different.
From what we've always beentaught.
And in fact, it might feel alittle counterintuitive to you.
(08:08):
Because for pretty much ourentire lives.
We've been conditioned to hitthe ground running on January
one.
At work we're expected to startOn those new business goals
right away.
Right?
It's a new year start now.
So it makes sense that over timewe've created this expectation
(08:29):
of ourselves that the calendarpages turned.
So now it's time to go all in.
But here's the thing.
There are no bonus points forstarting fast.
This.
Even though it's overused.
This is not a sprint.
This is not a point we'regetting out of the blocks fast.
(08:52):
We'll help you in any way.
Uh, any, any runners out there?
Like, runner's not.
W, you know, now you runmarathons for fun, or you, you
do your 10 K um, on Thanksgivingwith your family, but runners,
like where you in track andfield in high school.
I was a sprinter.
(09:13):
100 meter, 200 meter and thefour by one and the four by 200
meter relays.
I was a sprinter.
I was fast, short bursts ofspeed.
I, I ran at the state trackmeet.
Um, I did not win at the statetrack meets, but I qualified to
run at state meets.
So I was a decent sprinter.
(09:36):
But I was terrible out of theblocks.
My reaction time.
Um, very ma.
Just.
The gun would go off and I getout of the blocks, but I was
usually one of the last out ofthe blocks.
However, once I was in motion.
(09:58):
I easily catch up with thegirls.
I was running against the oneswho had just beat me out of the
blocks, the ones who got off andstarted really fast.
Oftentimes I'd win those races.
Not because I was first out ofthe blocks, but because I had
great finishing speed.
(10:20):
So, not, because I w I'd won thestart in fact.
I started in whatever place Istarted, but I kept moving in.
I actually gained speed andmomentum as the race went on.
And oftentimes I pass those faststarters.
So let's bring it back to goalsetting.
(10:41):
This is exactly why we haven'tset any goals yet.
We need to get out of the boxfirst.
And we do that by taking acritical look at 2023.
Figuring out where we're goingin 20, 24, and only after we
have done all that.
Will we be ready to set somegoals for 2024.
(11:02):
So it was a goal time yet.
Get it.
Not go time, but goal time.
Okay.
I know.
It wasn't really that funny for,so forgive me, but sometimes I
just crack myself up here whenI've got the microphone.
Anyway.
In today's episode.
Um, Circling back let's let'sfocus on the one thing that
(11:26):
could change everything for youthis year.
If you completed your homeworkfrom last week's episode.
You know, That I asked you to.
Take a look at.
What do you want more of in2024?
What do you want less of in2024.
(11:46):
You also sifted through all ofthat information.
And you chose one thing.
That will help make the biggestdifference in your life in 2024.
One action.
One decision.
Something, the one thing.
That could change everything.
For your life.
(12:08):
Before we get there though.
I want to spend a moment to talkabout the difference between
what I call real goals.
And throw away goals.
Throw away goals are the onesthat your most familiar with.
They're the goals that you puton your list and, you know,
you'll achieve them.
(12:29):
You know, you'll reach them.
So for you list makers outthere.
Listen up because this will beparticularly good for you to
hear.
Throw away goals are more liketo do items.
You absolutely know, you'llcomplete them.
You put them on the list becauseyou'll achieve them.
And you'll get some dopamine hitwhen you get to check it off.
(12:54):
At work.
A throwaway goal could look likea sales goal.
That you know, you'll hit.
because maybe your bonus is tiedto hitting your sales goal.
So if that's the case, you mightas well set a goal that's
achievable, right?
If your compensation depends onit, set a goal you can meet.
So you get paid.
(13:15):
A throwaway goal.
Outside of work.
A throwaway goal could look likea goal to say.
Walk 30 minutes, five days eachweek.
Notice you didn't choose sevendays a week because that would
mean that you'd have to dosomething every day.
And your logical brain thenkicks in and asks.
(13:38):
What if I get sick?
Or what about when I'm onvacation?
And you start thinking that youwon't be able to achieve the
goal.
If you say the goal is sevendays a week.
So you choose five.
See how these are more.
Goals or tasks to give yousomething, to check off a list,
(14:00):
You know, you'll achieve them.
There is no stretch goal here.
These are what I call, throwaway goals.
Real goals on the other hand,our goals or dreams or realities
that you may or may notultimately achieve.
And that's okay.
(14:21):
Because a goal.
Should not be about theachievement.
It's about who you have tobecome to achieve the goal.
I'm going to say that again.
It's not about the achievement.
It's about who you have tobecome to achieve the goal.
So you start looking at likewhat habits are needed.
(14:44):
What skills do I need todevelop?
What boundaries do I need to setto protect my time and my energy
and my schedule.
For real goals.
You need to become someonedifferent.
Than you are right now.
Because the fact that you have agoal.
(15:05):
Means that you have a desire forsomething new or different than
what you have right now.
You have a desire.
For something that you don'thave, it's someone who you
aren't quite yet.
Does that make sense?
You don't set a goal to stay inexactly the same place.
(15:29):
The fact that you have a goalmeans that you have a desire for
something new or somethingdifferent.
you've probably heard the sayingwhat got you here?
Won't get you there.
And.
Sure.
It's a great saying.
What it means is you need togrow and change and evolve and
(15:53):
learn new things to achievesomething new.
Because what got you here?
All of the skills and theexperience and the lessons.
They're not going to get youthere because you have a goal.
That necessarily means you havea desire for something new.
(16:14):
And because what got you here?
Won't get you there.
You have to be willing to growand change and evolve and learn
new things.
And that's the beauty of havinga goal.
It's the evolution of self.
It's it's what you're learning.
It's who you're becoming.
(16:36):
But for throwaway goals.
There aren't any of these thingsyou don't have to change or
learn or grow at all to achievea throwaway goal.
That's totally not the case withthe real goal.
So since we're clear on thedifference between a throwaway
goal and a real goal, you'veprobably already figured out
(16:56):
that the one thing that I askedyou.
To select the one thing thatwould have the biggest
difference for you make thebiggest difference for you in
2024.
That is a real goal.
It's the one action or decisionthat could change everything for
you.
(17:16):
So after listening to thatexplanation, you might want to
go back and change your onething.
If you were one thing was moreof a throwaway goal.
I urge you to go back, reviewyour notes, pick a new one thing
And make sure that one thing isa real goal.
Okay.
(17:36):
What is your one thing?
What is the one action.
That you figured out that youcould take or one decision that
you could make that would changeeverything for you.
What is it?
To break this down a little bitfurther when it comes to an
action, it could be starting todo something.
(17:57):
Or stopping doing something.
Uh, if you're going to startdoing something a could be, uh,
starting to write the book,you've always wanted to write.
It could be starting to learn anew language because you want to
vacation somewhere or own a homesomewhere and live somewhere.
And they speak a differentlanguage.
(18:18):
So maybe you want to startlearning a new language.
It could also be stop doingsomething.
Uh, maybe you want to stopsmoking.
That's your one thing this year,maybe you want to stop working.
Um, and by stop working, thatcould be.
Stopping work altogether, or itcould be stopping working in the
(18:39):
way that you're currentlyworking.
That that is a mouthful.
So maybe you want to be able towork from anywhere, you know,
I've got my laptop.
I will travel.
But you're currently in anoffice situation where you need
to be in the office 40 hours aweek.
You'll need to figure out a wayto stop doing your job in the
office.
That likely means spending thenext six, eight.
(19:01):
10 months proving to yourcurrent employer.
That you can get the job donefrom anywhere.
So you can see that the onething can be starting or
stopping something.
It could also be making adecision.
That could look like.
Deciding it's time to end yourmarriage.
(19:23):
Deciding it's time to changecareers.
Deciding it's time to move to anew town.
I have a client.
Actually who bought a home in aresort town with the idea that
she and her husband would retirethere at some point.
And then.
After after thinking about itfor awhile, they decided that
(19:46):
instead of waiting untilretirement, They wanted to
create a lifestyle that wouldallow them to move.
Now when they could enjoy all ofthe winter activities, the
skiing, the snowboarding.
And all of the summeractivities, the hiking, the golf
thing, the fishing.
Because they wanted to behealthy.
An able bodied enough to enjoythat.
(20:09):
They didn't want to wait untilthey were older.
They didn't want to wait untiltraditional retirement because
they wanted to make sure thatthey were healthy enough to be
able to enjoy that lifestyle.
Now.
And because we worked togetherand we knew that that's what she
wanted.
We could get busy creating aplan for her.
To help her and her husbandchanged their working conditions
(20:33):
and move to there.
Dream house in their resort townthat they'd already, they'd
already bought the house, butinstead of waiting until
retirement, They started livingthe life that they had only
dreamt about right away.
So for you.
What did you decide is the onething that could change
(20:54):
everything for you?
What is it?
Because.
I'm telling you right now, ifyou focus on that one thing,
your life could be totallydifferent.
One year from now.
One thing don't overcomplicateit by choosing three or four or
five things to focus on thisyear.
(21:14):
Choose one.
What is the one thing?
And don't, don't get confused.
Although you choose one thing,there will likely be many parts
and pieces.
So one thing doesn't mean onetasks.
You don't make one decision andyour doc.
You take that one decision, thatone thing, that one action and
(21:36):
you break it into bite sized,manageable tasks to complete
over the course of the year.
So, how do you do that?
You take your one thing.
Divided up into smaller actions.
Schedule them on the calendar.
What does that look like?
(21:57):
Take your one thing, figure outthe sequence you need for
achieving your goal.
That will likely includesmaller, more manageable tasks.
Figure out what all of thosetasks are.
Put them in order in sequence.
In order to do X, I have to do Yfirst in order to do Y I have to
(22:22):
do Z.
And then put those tasks, thosemilestones on your calendar,
actually take out your calendarand schedule deadlines for the
intermediate steps.
What by which date will youachieve those intermediate
(22:42):
goals?
Because where you are now.
And when you achieve the onething.
And between those two spots.
You'll be once you achieve theone thing, you'll be somewhere
else.
Let's call it the beginning ofthe year now.
And the end of the year, whenyou achieve your one thing.
(23:03):
Which means there are a numberof steps or tasks or deadlines
between now, and then we have tofigure out what those are and
put them on the calendar.
I am a visual person.
So I have, if you can imagine ita three foot by four foot
calendar on my wall.
The daily spaces on thecalendar.
(23:23):
So the space for each day, Isexactly the same size as a small
post-it note.
And I put every preliminary stepbetween where I am now and what
I'll achieve, the thing I put,every one of those.
On the calendar.
And because they're on post-itnotes, I can move the dates
(23:45):
around if I need to.
If I finish a milestone early,I'll move up the post-it notes.
But sometimes I need a littleextra time because maybe I
underestimated how longsomething would take or
something else has popped up inmy life.
That that requires my attention.
No problem.
I'll just move the post-it notesback.
(24:07):
If you're like me and you are avisual person.
For you all added a clickablelink in the show notes to my
favorite wall calendar and myfavorite post-its.
I know, you know, what a post-it looks like, and you don't
need a link for that.
But I like fancy colors on mywall calendar.
And I also like choosingdifferent colors for different
(24:28):
parts of my life.
So vacation days and one color.
Work obligations in anothercolor, the big goals I'm working
on in another color.
You get, you get the idea.
But all add a clickable link inthe show notes.
It's a system that has workedgreat for me for the past.
I don't know, six years.
Uh, being able to look at it,being able to really focus on
(24:50):
what is the next task on my listthat I have to complete.
I think you'll really like ittoo.
This is also exactly what I dowith my coaching clients.
I take the big thing thatthey're working on and I break
it into smaller, more manageablesteps.
Planning.
(25:11):
I got to say, planning is mysuperpower.
I'm so good with breaking thingsdown into workable steps.
You want to run a marathon thisyear and you've never run a
mile.
No problem.
I've helped many women achievethat goal.
You want to quit your job thisyear?
No problem.
I've also helped women do that.
And the key isn't to just make adecision today.
(25:33):
And just assume it will happen.
The key is to create the smalleractions to complete along the
way.
So with my coaching clients,whatever they're working on.
We figure out how to break itdown into the smaller tasks,
which also helps keep themomentum and excitement up.
Because, you know, this, thereis so much excitement and
(25:56):
momentum at the beginning of theyear.
The, the excitement is highbecause you've got this prospect
of having this new thing ofaccomplishing this new goal.
But that excitement lessons astime goes on.
Because the making of thedeclaration.
The stating and the goal, theidentifying the one thing.
(26:17):
That's the easy part.
But then you have to get towork.
And as the time between now,when you're identifying the one
thing and when you actuallyachieve it, As that time period
gets longer.
I'm just going to tell you yourexcitement and your motivation
will go down.
The longer it takes, the moreyou have to be ready to gut it
(26:41):
out to double down, to stickwith it.
Even when you want to stop orgive up or, or maybe just delay
it for another year, you know,maybe that's maybe it's not
supposed to happen in 20, 24.
And that's exactly why we needto spread the little actions
that add up to the one thing.
We spread them over the year.
(27:02):
To keep the momentum up to keepthe excitement up.
And we celebrate every time youpass a milestone.
If it still feels a littleoverwhelming.
If you know, you could use somehelp breaking down the one
thing, because maybe it just, itfeels a little too big.
I mean, I knew I threw achallenge out to you.
Pick something big, payattention to something that
(27:24):
scares you.
So maybe you accepted thechallenge.
You chose a big goal.
You chose a real goal, which isawesome.
It's certainly worthy of notice.
Well done.
Fantastic.
Start.
you knew choosing this one thingwould absolutely make the
biggest impact on your life.
(27:45):
Maybe you haven't even admittedit to anyone yet.
You haven't said it out loudbecause.
Maybe it's scared you just alittle too much.
I get it.
I've been there in fact, justlast week.
I had to give my business coach.
And all of the members of mybusiness cohort.
(28:06):
I had to give them.
My revenue goals for 2024, I hadto post them in our Facebook
group.
And my 2024 revenue goals.
Our 10 times higher than what Imade from the school of midlife
in 2023.
Talk about a big goal.
Talk about a real goal.
And I had to make it public.
(28:27):
So believe me.
I know what it feels like whenyou put something out there that
feels like a huge stretch.
And if you're.
At the spot where you.
You knew that choosing this onething would absolutely make the
biggest impact on your life, butyou have absolutely no idea how
to get from here to there.
I can help you.
(28:48):
If you're feeling a littleoverwhelmed right now, and you
don't even know where to startbreaking down your goal, reach
out to me.
I've decided to onboard just ahandful of one-on-one clients
for January, just to workthrough this process.
We'll take, I don't know, threeor four hours virtually, so we
can work with your schedule andtogether we'll figure out what
(29:10):
your action plan looks like.
So that you can achieve your onething.
We'll we'll end our timetogether with an actual plan.
You'll have a handy to do liststhat you can check things off of
as you complete them.
You'll know exactly what you'redoing each quarter.
If you want your very own wallcalendar.
(29:31):
We can work on making thattogether too.
However the time works best foryou.
I'm not going to announce thispublicly though.
Well, Other the hen on thepodcast where I am on this
episode, where I am announcing apublicly.
But this isn't something I'mgoing to publish anywhere else.
So.
(29:52):
I'm not announcing it publicly.
Just a handful of clients.
It'll be a half day.
If you're in Boise or willing totravel here, we can absolutely
do it in person.
Otherwise, we'll do it over zoomand you'll get the recording to
refer back to whenever you needto, if that sounds like
something that you're interestedin.
send me an email.
DM me on Instagram.
(30:13):
Just reach out to me and we'llget it on the calendar.
Next week we'll wrap up thediscussion on goals for 2024
with a review of habits.
Hear me when I say this.
It's not about the goal that youchoose and whether you even
achieve it.
It's the habits that you buildand the person you become along
(30:34):
the way of trying to achieve thegoal.
Next week, we're going to diveinto that evolution of self of
who you're becoming along theway.
As always, I'm so grateful thatyou were here today.
Thanks so much for being with metoday on the school of midlife
podcast.
And i'll see you right back herenext week when the school of
(30:54):
midlife is back in session untilthen take care Thank you so much
for listening to the School ofMidlife podcast.
It means so much to have youhere each week.
If you enjoyed this episode,could you do me the biggest
favor and help us spread theword to other midlife women?
There are a couple of easy waysfor you to do that first.
(31:16):
And most importantly, if you'renot already following the show,
would you please subscribe?
That helps you because you'llnever miss an episode.
And it helps us because you'llnever miss an episode.
Second, if you'd be so kind toleave us a five-star rating,
that would be absolutelyincredible.
And finally, I personally readeach and every one of your
(31:38):
reviews.
So if you take a minute and saysome nice things about the
podcast, well, that's just goodkarma.
Thanks again for listening.
I'll see you right back here.
Next week when the School ofMidlife is back in session until
then take good care.
In this week's episode of theschool of midlife podcast, we're
(00:02):
talking all about the one thing.
That's the one decision, the oneaction that you could take this
year that would changeeverything for you.
The one thing that would make20, 25 your best year ever.
You all want to miss it and Icannot wait to share it with
you.
Welcome to the School of Midlifepodcast.
(00:24):
I'm your host, LaurieReynoldson.
This is the podcast for themidlife woman who starting to
ask herself big life questions.
Like, what do I want?
Is it too late for me?
And what's my legacy beyond myfamily and my work.
Each week we're answering thesequestions and more.
At the School of Midlife, we'relearning all of the life lessons
(00:46):
they didn't teach us in schooland we're figuring out finally
what it is we want to be when wegrow up.
Let's make midlife your bestlife.
Hey friends.
Welcome back to another episodeof the School of Midlife
podcast.
I am your host, LaurieReynoldson, and I am so happy to
have you here with me today.
(01:08):
If you have been listening forthe last couple of episodes, you
know, that.
We're talking aboutgoal-setting.
In this episode, it's January,it's three weeks into January at
this point.
And if you have been around herefor awhile, you know that I am
someone who doesn't believe insetting goals right off the bat
(01:30):
in January.
I like to.
To get a little settled.
I like to, you know, kind of getback into the groove after being
on vacation for a little while.
And I'm a firm believer thattrying to change everything all
at once is just a recipe fordisaster.
So I never do that.
I.
I get back to work after theholidays.
(01:51):
I settle in.
I get back to what I call zero,and then that's when I start
thinking about what is it I wantto do in the year ahead.
And as I was getting ready torecord this week's episode about
goal setting.
I actually went back and I waslooking for a little bit of
inspiration and I went back andI listened to a couple of
episodes from the School ofMidlife podcast from last year.
(02:15):
And.
Uh, just as I was.
I was going to record.
This episode about goal-setting.
I came across.
An episode from last year thatis spot on.
And honestly, I enjoyed it somuch.
I listened to it twice.
It gave me exactly theinspiration that I was looking
for.
To figure out what it is I wantto accomplish this year.
(02:39):
The one decision I've made aboutmy business.
For 2025.
One thing that I'm going to stopdoing.
I'll share more of that inanother episode with you, but
suffice it to say.
After listening to.
Last year's episode.
I just, I didn't think that Icould do any better.
And the name of the game.
(03:00):
Isn't I don't think recordingcontent just to record content
for content sake.
Um, if, if I can save myself alittle bit of time and give you
some good information along theway, then it seems to me like a
win-win.
So instead of trying to recreatethe wheel here and probably not
doing it quite as well as I didlast year, I thought we would
(03:22):
relisten to.
An episode that dropped at thebeginning of 2024.
About goal-setting.
We're going to talk all about.
How you can use your year-endreview guide to help you create
your goals for 2025.
We'll talk about throwawaygoals.
We'll talk about.
Scheduling the goals that youwant to achieve.
(03:45):
It's really, it's it's chockfull of incredible.
Ideas.
And strategies for you to make20, 25 your best year yet.
So yeah, some of the dates aregoing to be wrong.
Um, but I'll make sure that youhave clickable links in the show
notes to the completely updatedyear end review guide.
(04:05):
And any other.
Materials that are mentioned.
I'll make sure that you have theupdated links in the show notes.
And then finally in the, theepisode does mention.
That at the beginning of lastyear was taking on just a
handful of one-on-one clients.
And I'm going to do that againthis year.
I've kind of stepped away fromdoing much one-on-one coaching
(04:27):
to make myself available.
For the gap year and other groupprograms that we've got going
on.
But there has seemed to be a bitof.
An uptick in interest onone-on-one coaching.
So if that's you and yourinterested, then drop me an
email.
I'd love to chat with you.
So without further ado, let'sget into the one thing I hope
(04:50):
you enjoy it.
I'll see you back here next weekwith a brand new episode for our
100th episode of the School ofMidlife can you believe it?
I I'm amazed, I hope you enjoythis episode as much as I do.
Hey friends.
Welcome back to the school ofmidlife podcast.
I am so happy you are heretoday.
(05:13):
For the past several weeks.
I've been talking about howlooking back at last year will
actually help you have your bestyear ever in 2024.
There have been, gosh, fourepisodes.
I think if you haven't alreadylistened to the closing time
series that dropped during theweek between Christmas and new
(05:35):
years.
Where I talked about the reasonswhy a year-end review is
important.
I also created a 14 pageworkbook for you to use, to walk
you through how to complete.
The most effective year-endreview.
(05:56):
Essentially, it starts with ahigh level 30,000 foot level.
You know, what were yourimpressions of 2023?
And then sort of like adetective looking for clues then
really diving into last year andgetting crystal clear on what
was great, what was not so good.
Maybe what you want to leavebehind in 2023.
(06:18):
And what you want to take withyou in 2024.
In fact, there were 11 questionsthat help you get super dialed
in.
On.
What happened last year.
And how do you want to use thatto set you up for next year?
And then once you've completedthe work of the year-end review,
(06:40):
Last week's episode explainedhow to use that information you
discovered in your year-endreview to create your best year
yet.
So, if you haven't listened tothose four episodes, You'll get
more out of this episode.
If you go back and listen tothem first.
I'll add clickable links to themin the show notes.
So super easy.
(07:01):
All you have to do is pause thisepisode, scroll down to the show
notes and click on the link orlinks to the episodes that
you've missed quickly listenedto them.
And then you can come back.
But I also know that there,there are several of you out
there.
Who you're already here and youaren't into playing catch-up.
I get it.
So for whatever reason, youdon't want to go back and listen
(07:23):
to the episodes from last coupleof weeks.
That's totally fine.
Stay with me here and listen.
Today's episode.
Trust me though.
You'll get a lot more out of it.
If you listen.
Then go back and listen to theprior episodes and then maybe
relisten to today's episodeafter you've caught up on the
other.
Four episodes, how, however youwant to do it.
(07:45):
Okay.
So, so far we focused only on2023.
Notice that we haven't set any20, 24 goals yet.
I know that might feel a littleweird to you.
And that's because it is.
Different.
From what we've always beentaught.
And in fact, it might feel alittle counterintuitive to you.
(08:08):
Because for pretty much ourentire lives.
We've been conditioned to hitthe ground running on January
one.
At work we're expected to startOn those new business goals
right away.
Right?
It's a new year start now.
So it makes sense that over timewe've created this expectation
(08:29):
of ourselves that the calendarpages turned.
So now it's time to go all in.
But here's the thing.
There are no bonus points forstarting fast.
This.
Even though it's overused.
This is not a sprint.
This is not a point we'regetting out of the blocks fast.
(08:52):
We'll help you in any way.
Uh, any, any runners out there?
Like, runner's not.
W, you know, now you runmarathons for fun, or you, you
do your 10 K um, on Thanksgivingwith your family, but runners,
like where you in track andfield in high school.
I was a sprinter.
(09:13):
100 meter, 200 meter and thefour by one and the four by 200
meter relays.
I was a sprinter.
I was fast, short bursts ofspeed.
I, I ran at the state trackmeet.
Um, I did not win at the statetrack meets, but I qualified to
run at state meets.
So I was a decent sprinter.
(09:36):
But I was terrible out of theblocks.
My reaction time.
Um, very ma.
Just.
The gun would go off and I getout of the blocks, but I was
usually one of the last out ofthe blocks.
However, once I was in motion.
(09:58):
I easily catch up with thegirls.
I was running against the oneswho had just beat me out of the
blocks, the ones who got off andstarted really fast.
Oftentimes I'd win those races.
Not because I was first out ofthe blocks, but because I had
great finishing speed.
(10:20):
So, not, because I w I'd won thestart in fact.
I started in whatever place Istarted, but I kept moving in.
I actually gained speed andmomentum as the race went on.
And oftentimes I pass those faststarters.
So let's bring it back to goalsetting.
(10:41):
This is exactly why we haven'tset any goals yet.
We need to get out of the boxfirst.
And we do that by taking acritical look at 2023.
Figuring out where we're goingin 20, 24, and only after we
have done all that.
Will we be ready to set somegoals for 2024.
(11:02):
So it was a goal time yet.
Get it.
Not go time, but goal time.
Okay.
I know.
It wasn't really that funny for,so forgive me, but sometimes I
just crack myself up here whenI've got the microphone.
Anyway.
In today's episode.
Um, Circling back let's let'sfocus on the one thing that
(11:26):
could change everything for youthis year.
If you completed your homeworkfrom last week's episode.
You know, That I asked you to.
Take a look at.
What do you want more of in2024?
What do you want less of in2024.
(11:46):
You also sifted through all ofthat information.
And you chose one thing.
That will help make the biggestdifference in your life in 2024.
One action.
One decision.
Something, the one thing.
That could change everything.
For your life.
(12:08):
Before we get there though.
I want to spend a moment to talkabout the difference between
what I call real goals.
And throw away goals.
Throw away goals are the onesthat your most familiar with.
They're the goals that you puton your list and, you know,
you'll achieve them.
(12:29):
You know, you'll reach them.
So for you list makers outthere.
Listen up because this will beparticularly good for you to
hear.
Throw away goals are more liketo do items.
You absolutely know, you'llcomplete them.
You put them on the list becauseyou'll achieve them.
And you'll get some dopamine hitwhen you get to check it off.
(12:54):
At work.
A throwaway goal could look likea sales goal.
That you know, you'll hit.
because maybe your bonus is tiedto hitting your sales goal.
So if that's the case, you mightas well set a goal that's
achievable, right?
If your compensation depends onit, set a goal you can meet.
So you get paid.
(13:15):
A throwaway goal.
Outside of work.
A throwaway goal could look likea goal to say.
Walk 30 minutes, five days eachweek.
Notice you didn't choose sevendays a week because that would
mean that you'd have to dosomething every day.
And your logical brain thenkicks in and asks.
(13:38):
What if I get sick?
Or what about when I'm onvacation?
And you start thinking that youwon't be able to achieve the
goal.
If you say the goal is sevendays a week.
So you choose five.
See how these are more.
Goals or tasks to give yousomething, to check off a list,
(14:00):
You know, you'll achieve them.
There is no stretch goal here.
These are what I call, throwaway goals.
Real goals on the other hand,our goals or dreams or realities
that you may or may notultimately achieve.
And that's okay.
(14:21):
Because a goal.
Should not be about theachievement.
It's about who you have tobecome to achieve the goal.
I'm going to say that again.
It's not about the achievement.
It's about who you have tobecome to achieve the goal.
So you start looking at likewhat habits are needed.
(14:44):
What skills do I need todevelop?
What boundaries do I need to setto protect my time and my energy
and my schedule.
For real goals.
You need to become someonedifferent.
Than you are right now.
Because the fact that you have agoal.
(15:05):
Means that you have a desire forsomething new or different than
what you have right now.
You have a desire.
For something that you don'thave, it's someone who you
aren't quite yet.
Does that make sense?
You don't set a goal to stay inexactly the same place.
(15:29):
The fact that you have a goalmeans that you have a desire for
something new or somethingdifferent.
you've probably heard the sayingwhat got you here?
Won't get you there.
And.
Sure.
It's a great saying.
What it means is you need togrow and change and evolve and
(15:53):
learn new things to achievesomething new.
Because what got you here?
All of the skills and theexperience and the lessons.
They're not going to get youthere because you have a goal.
That necessarily means you havea desire for something new.
(16:14):
And because what got you here?
Won't get you there.
You have to be willing to growand change and evolve and learn
new things.
And that's the beauty of havinga goal.
It's the evolution of self.
It's it's what you're learning.
It's who you're becoming.
(16:36):
But for throwaway goals.
There aren't any of these thingsyou don't have to change or
learn or grow at all to achievea throwaway goal.
That's totally not the case withthe real goal.
So since we're clear on thedifference between a throwaway
goal and a real goal, you'veprobably already figured out
(16:56):
that the one thing that I askedyou.
To select the one thing thatwould have the biggest
difference for you make thebiggest difference for you in
2024.
That is a real goal.
It's the one action or decisionthat could change everything for
you.
(17:16):
So after listening to thatexplanation, you might want to
go back and change your onething.
If you were one thing was moreof a throwaway goal.
I urge you to go back, reviewyour notes, pick a new one thing
And make sure that one thing isa real goal.
Okay.
(17:36):
What is your one thing?
What is the one action.
That you figured out that youcould take or one decision that
you could make that would changeeverything for you.
What is it?
To break this down a little bitfurther when it comes to an
action, it could be starting todo something.
(17:57):
Or stopping doing something.
Uh, if you're going to startdoing something a could be, uh,
starting to write the book,you've always wanted to write.
It could be starting to learn anew language because you want to
vacation somewhere or own a homesomewhere and live somewhere.
And they speak a differentlanguage.
(18:18):
So maybe you want to startlearning a new language.
It could also be stop doingsomething.
Uh, maybe you want to stopsmoking.
That's your one thing this year,maybe you want to stop working.
Um, and by stop working, thatcould be.
Stopping work altogether, or itcould be stopping working in the
(18:39):
way that you're currentlyworking.
That that is a mouthful.
So maybe you want to be able towork from anywhere, you know,
I've got my laptop.
I will travel.
But you're currently in anoffice situation where you need
to be in the office 40 hours aweek.
You'll need to figure out a wayto stop doing your job in the
office.
That likely means spending thenext six, eight.
(19:01):
10 months proving to yourcurrent employer.
That you can get the job donefrom anywhere.
So you can see that the onething can be starting or
stopping something.
It could also be making adecision.
That could look like.
Deciding it's time to end yourmarriage.
(19:23):
Deciding it's time to changecareers.
Deciding it's time to move to anew town.
I have a client.
Actually who bought a home in aresort town with the idea that
she and her husband would retirethere at some point.
And then.
After after thinking about itfor awhile, they decided that
(19:46):
instead of waiting untilretirement, They wanted to
create a lifestyle that wouldallow them to move.
Now when they could enjoy all ofthe winter activities, the
skiing, the snowboarding.
And all of the summeractivities, the hiking, the golf
thing, the fishing.
Because they wanted to behealthy.
An able bodied enough to enjoythat.
(20:09):
They didn't want to wait untilthey were older.
They didn't want to wait untiltraditional retirement because
they wanted to make sure thatthey were healthy enough to be
able to enjoy that lifestyle.
Now.
And because we worked togetherand we knew that that's what she
wanted.
We could get busy creating aplan for her.
To help her and her husbandchanged their working conditions
(20:33):
and move to there.
Dream house in their resort townthat they'd already, they'd
already bought the house, butinstead of waiting until
retirement, They started livingthe life that they had only
dreamt about right away.
So for you.
What did you decide is the onething that could change
(20:54):
everything for you?
What is it?
Because.
I'm telling you right now, ifyou focus on that one thing,
your life could be totallydifferent.
One year from now.
One thing don't overcomplicateit by choosing three or four or
five things to focus on thisyear.
(21:14):
Choose one.
What is the one thing?
And don't, don't get confused.
Although you choose one thing,there will likely be many parts
and pieces.
So one thing doesn't mean onetasks.
You don't make one decision andyour doc.
You take that one decision, thatone thing, that one action and
(21:36):
you break it into bite sized,manageable tasks to complete
over the course of the year.
So, how do you do that?
You take your one thing.
Divided up into smaller actions.
Schedule them on the calendar.
What does that look like?
(21:57):
Take your one thing, figure outthe sequence you need for
achieving your goal.
That will likely includesmaller, more manageable tasks.
Figure out what all of thosetasks are.
Put them in order in sequence.
In order to do X, I have to do Yfirst in order to do Y I have to
(22:22):
do Z.
And then put those tasks, thosemilestones on your calendar,
actually take out your calendarand schedule deadlines for the
intermediate steps.
What by which date will youachieve those intermediate
(22:42):
goals?
Because where you are now.
And when you achieve the onething.
And between those two spots.
You'll be once you achieve theone thing, you'll be somewhere
else.
Let's call it the beginning ofthe year now.
And the end of the year, whenyou achieve your one thing.
(23:03):
Which means there are a numberof steps or tasks or deadlines
between now, and then we have tofigure out what those are and
put them on the calendar.
I am a visual person.
So I have, if you can imagine ita three foot by four foot
calendar on my wall.
The daily spaces on thecalendar.
(23:23):
So the space for each day, Isexactly the same size as a small
post-it note.
And I put every preliminary stepbetween where I am now and what
I'll achieve, the thing I put,every one of those.
On the calendar.
And because they're on post-itnotes, I can move the dates
(23:45):
around if I need to.
If I finish a milestone early,I'll move up the post-it notes.
But sometimes I need a littleextra time because maybe I
underestimated how longsomething would take or
something else has popped up inmy life.
That that requires my attention.
No problem.
I'll just move the post-it notesback.
(24:07):
If you're like me and you are avisual person.
For you all added a clickablelink in the show notes to my
favorite wall calendar and myfavorite post-its.
I know, you know, what a post-it looks like, and you don't
need a link for that.
But I like fancy colors on mywall calendar.
And I also like choosingdifferent colors for different
(24:28):
parts of my life.
So vacation days and one color.
Work obligations in anothercolor, the big goals I'm working
on in another color.
You get, you get the idea.
But all add a clickable link inthe show notes.
It's a system that has workedgreat for me for the past.
I don't know, six years.
Uh, being able to look at it,being able to really focus on
(24:50):
what is the next task on my listthat I have to complete.
I think you'll really like ittoo.
This is also exactly what I dowith my coaching clients.
I take the big thing thatthey're working on and I break
it into smaller, more manageablesteps.
Planning.
(25:11):
I got to say, planning is mysuperpower.
I'm so good with breaking thingsdown into workable steps.
You want to run a marathon thisyear and you've never run a
mile.
No problem.
I've helped many women achievethat goal.
You want to quit your job thisyear?
No problem.
I've also helped women do that.
And the key isn't to just make adecision today.
(25:33):
And just assume it will happen.
The key is to create the smalleractions to complete along the
way.
So with my coaching clients,whatever they're working on.
We figure out how to break itdown into the smaller tasks,
which also helps keep themomentum and excitement up.
Because, you know, this, thereis so much excitement and
(25:56):
momentum at the beginning of theyear.
The, the excitement is highbecause you've got this prospect
of having this new thing ofaccomplishing this new goal.
But that excitement lessons astime goes on.
Because the making of thedeclaration.
The stating and the goal, theidentifying the one thing.
(26:17):
That's the easy part.
But then you have to get towork.
And as the time between now,when you're identifying the one
thing and when you actuallyachieve it, As that time period
gets longer.
I'm just going to tell you yourexcitement and your motivation
will go down.
The longer it takes, the moreyou have to be ready to gut it
(26:41):
out to double down, to stickwith it.
Even when you want to stop orgive up or, or maybe just delay
it for another year, you know,maybe that's maybe it's not
supposed to happen in 20, 24.
And that's exactly why we needto spread the little actions
that add up to the one thing.
We spread them over the year.
(27:02):
To keep the momentum up to keepthe excitement up.
And we celebrate every time youpass a milestone.
If it still feels a littleoverwhelming.
If you know, you could use somehelp breaking down the one
thing, because maybe it just, itfeels a little too big.
I mean, I knew I threw achallenge out to you.
Pick something big, payattention to something that
(27:24):
scares you.
So maybe you accepted thechallenge.
You chose a big goal.
You chose a real goal, which isawesome.
It's certainly worthy of notice.
Well done.
Fantastic.
Start.
you knew choosing this one thingwould absolutely make the
biggest impact on your life.
(27:45):
Maybe you haven't even admittedit to anyone yet.
You haven't said it out loudbecause.
Maybe it's scared you just alittle too much.
I get it.
I've been there in fact, justlast week.
I had to give my business coach.
And all of the members of mybusiness cohort.
(28:06):
I had to give them.
My revenue goals for 2024, I hadto post them in our Facebook
group.
And my 2024 revenue goals.
Our 10 times higher than what Imade from the school of midlife
in 2023.
Talk about a big goal.
Talk about a real goal.
And I had to make it public.
(28:27):
So believe me.
I know what it feels like whenyou put something out there that
feels like a huge stretch.
And if you're.
At the spot where you.
You knew that choosing this onething would absolutely make the
biggest impact on your life, butyou have absolutely no idea how
to get from here to there.
I can help you.
(28:48):
If you're feeling a littleoverwhelmed right now, and you
don't even know where to startbreaking down your goal, reach
out to me.
I've decided to onboard just ahandful of one-on-one clients
for January, just to workthrough this process.
We'll take, I don't know, threeor four hours virtually, so we
can work with your schedule andtogether we'll figure out what
(29:10):
your action plan looks like.
So that you can achieve your onething.
We'll we'll end our timetogether with an actual plan.
You'll have a handy to do liststhat you can check things off of
as you complete them.
You'll know exactly what you'redoing each quarter.
If you want your very own wallcalendar.
(29:31):
We can work on making thattogether too.
However the time works best foryou.
I'm not going to announce thispublicly though.
Well, Other the hen on thepodcast where I am on this
episode, where I am announcing apublicly.
But this isn't something I'mgoing to publish anywhere else.
So.
(29:52):
I'm not announcing it publicly.
Just a handful of clients.
It'll be a half day.
If you're in Boise or willing totravel here, we can absolutely
do it in person.
Otherwise, we'll do it over zoomand you'll get the recording to
refer back to whenever you needto, if that sounds like
something that you're interestedin.
send me an email.
DM me on Instagram.
(30:13):
Just reach out to me and we'llget it on the calendar.
Next week we'll wrap up thediscussion on goals for 2024
with a review of habits.
Hear me when I say this.
It's not about the goal that youchoose and whether you even
achieve it.
It's the habits that you buildand the person you become along
(30:34):
the way of trying to achieve thegoal.
Next week, we're going to diveinto that evolution of self of
who you're becoming along theway.
As always, I'm so grateful thatyou were here today.
Thanks so much for being with metoday on the school of midlife
podcast.
And i'll see you right back herenext week when the school of
(30:54):
midlife is back in session untilthen take care Thank you so much
for listening to the School ofMidlife podcast.
It means so much to have youhere each week.
If you enjoyed this episode,could you do me the biggest
favor and help us spread theword to other midlife women?
There are a couple of easy waysfor you to do that first.
(31:16):
And most importantly, if you'renot already following the show,
would you please subscribe?
That helps you because you'llnever miss an episode.
And it helps us because you'llnever miss an episode.
Second, if you'd be so kind toleave us a five-star rating,
that would be absolutelyincredible.
And finally, I personally readeach and every one of your
(31:38):
reviews.
So if you take a minute and saysome nice things about the
podcast, well, that's just goodkarma.
Thanks again for listening.
I'll see you right back here.
Next week when the School ofMidlife is back in session until
then take good care.
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