August 28, 2024 • 49 mins
Could ADHD be the secret advantage in network engineering? Join us as we uncover this intriguing possibility with our special guest, ADHD life coach Henry Lam. Diagnosed with ADHD at 22, Henry’s journey into the world of coaching provides a deeply personal insight into a condition often misunderstood. We explore how traits like inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity manifest uniquely in adults, particularly those in demanding fields like network engineering. Henry offers invaluable strategies that can enhance focus and productivity, benefiting not just those with ADHD but anyone looking to optimize their professional life.
Experience a paradigm shift as we discuss the evolving perspectives on ADHD from the 80s and 90s to the present day. Discover how individuals with ADHD can harness their creativity, innovation, and hyper-focus to excel in both technical fields and the arts. Henry shares practical tips for maintaining and regaining focus, including the importance of physical activities, mental exercises, and positive self-talk. These insights are not just theoretical; they are actionable strategies that you can implement today to boost your productivity and mental well-being.
In our final segment, we dive into coping mechanisms for ADHD and burnout, emphasizing practices like mindfulness, meditation, tai chi, and yoga. Henry explains the critical role of the prefrontal cortex in managing focus and motivation and how structured physical activities can provide much-needed discipline. We also explore the distinctions between life coaching and psychology, helping you understand when to seek professional help. Wrapping up, Henry shares his journey to becoming an ADHD coach, offering guidance on finding the right coach and the significance of a supportive environment. Don’t miss this comprehensive guide to managing ADHD and maintaining mental health in a demanding professional world.
Find everything AONE right here: https://linktr.ee/artofneteng
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
AJ, I'm drawing parallels here to the talks that
we've had in the past aroundfocusing and leaning into your
strengths, because from whatHenry's telling us that people
with ADHDfocus is one of thethings that they're dealing with
(00:28):
then, man, look out, they'regoing to really lean into those
strengths.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
This is the Art of NetworkEngineering podcast.
In this podcast we exploretools, technologies and talented
people.
We aim to bring you informationthat will expand your skill
sense and toolbox and share thestories of fellow network
(00:55):
engineers.
Welcome to the Art of NetworkEngineering.
I am AJ Murray and tonight myco-host is the one, the only the
Tim Bertino Tim, thanks forjoining me, our guest this
evening.
His name is Henry Lam and he isan ADHD life coach.
He reached out to us via emailand kind of pitched the idea of
(01:16):
hey, I've got this great ideafor a show and we just latched
right onto it.
I think it makes a whole lot ofsense.
So we're really excited towelcome Henry to the show.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
Henry, thank you so much for giving us your time.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Yeah, thank you for having me, aj and Tim.
Absolutely, henry, can you tellus a little bit more about your
background as an ADHD lifecoach?
Speaker 3 (01:37):
Yeah.
So first of all, I also haveADHD, which is ADHD combined
type, and I struggled for manyyears with undiagnosed ADHD.
I was the typical ADHD kid whenI was weirdly just at home, but
at school I was the quiet boywho daydreamed, which is kind of
(01:58):
like the opposite of the usualtypical ADHD kid, the stereotype
.
And I got diagnosed when I was22 because I almost dropped out
of college and the one therapistwas like maybe you have ADHD.
I was like, oh, okay.
(02:19):
And then I got diagnosed and itmade sense like, oh, why I
struggled for many years.
No, I couldn't be consistent indoing math, I was smart, but I
just didn't put much effort andI could be all over the place or
I could just be like just deadzombie in the class.
And so after I got diagnosed, Istarted learning more about
(02:47):
ADHD and trying to fix it, cureit, etc.
And dealing with other issuesand seeing an ADHD therapist hey
, I can help other people withADHD as an ADHD coach.
(03:08):
Because I saw, hey, they helppeople with ADHD and you get
freedom and you can live thelife you want on your own terms,
which I was really rebelliousfor many years and still am and
it's like, oh you, can, you know, be more true to yourself
(03:30):
instead of sucking up to acompany or other things of that
nature.
So I became a life coach forthe Life Purpose Institute and
then I specialized in ADHD withtaking courses at the ADHD
Coaching Academy.
And then, you know, now it'sbeen two and a half years, you
know, working on, you knowmyself and my coaching business.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
That's great.
So I know part of when youreached out to us.
You took it as you know,helping people, focus
particularly people with ADHD.
But a lot of what you can offercan help folks even if they
don't have ADHD, and I think alot of people today, even if
they don't, I think they sufferfrom.
You know the doom scrolling onsocial media and that just I
(04:14):
know it happens to me, rightRight.
So I get stuck in the doomscrolling.
I'm looking at whether whatother content creators are doing
in our niche, trying to getsome ideas for content for us,
and now my attention span isjust not there.
Like I sometimes find itdifficult to focus on tasks for
extended periods of time, andthat's not something that used
(04:34):
to be a problem for me.
So before we get too muchfurther down the road, let's
start at the beginning anddefine what is ADHD and what
does it look like.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
Yeah, so ADHD is categorized by the medical
professionals as it's aneurodevelopmental disorder.
So that means your brain didn'tdevelop as properly as other
people.
So it's a disorder and you haveto treat it.
And symptoms can be inattention, which means you're
(05:09):
disorganized, poor memory, etc.
Hyperactivity, means you keeptalking, keep moving, can't sit
down and be quiet, andimpositivity, meaning you don't
think before you speak or youact, etc.
So these are just a general,the categories of ADHD.
(05:29):
Of course there's specificbehaviors for each, and then
some people might have all ofthem, or they might have just
inattention, which is morecommon in, say, network
engineers, or they could becombined as well.
For network engineers it wouldbe less being just a hyperactive
(05:50):
, impulsive person, which ismore like the stereotype.
If it's the hyperactive andimpulsive, that's more like the
stereotypical kid, but they dooutgrow some of it.
But they're still hyperactiveor impulsive in their mind or
they channel it in differentways or impulsive in their mind
or they channel it in differentways.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
Now, Henry, you mentioned being diagnosed in
your early 20s.
Is there any sort of typicalage or period in life where this
is diagnosed in people?
Or I mean, are a lot of kidsseen and diagnosed, or at what
point do we think this isstarting to show in people?
Speaker 3 (06:31):
Yeah, so it's more commonly diagnosed in kids,
especially boys, especially thetypical hyperactive and positive
kid.
The stereotype it's being morediagnosed in adults now, more so
female, since they more likelyto seek help.
Um, but, but usually it's theeveryone else, you know they can
(06:54):
get lost in a crowd.
They get diagnosed with anxiety, depression, bipolar,
borderline, etc.
So know, because there's aspectrum of ADHD folks, it can
be hard to pinpoint, slash mostpractitioners in healthcare and
mental healthcare to understandADHD, because there's a spectrum
of folks so it's hard forpeople to understand ADHD and
(07:21):
that they don't understand ADHDin general.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
And let's tap into that a little bit further,
because I was starting to havethis question in Zatharian in
the chat.
Read my mind it's how do wediagnose people with ADHD?
What does that process looklike?
Speaker 3 (07:46):
for ADHD testing to have you go through
questionnaires about you knowyour, your daily life and you
know your possible ADHD symptomsand they are categorized under,
you know, inattention,hyperactivity and positivity, so
they're like grouped and youknow, and then there's like a
scale of your rating for eachand you know then you could have
(08:06):
low symptoms, medium symptomsor high symptoms.
So there's a range and thenwhen is so, some people might
have high, some people havemedium, some people have low.
That can worsen ADHD, like youknow really poor sleep or poor
breathing or other healthproblems, so your symptoms would
(08:29):
be higher.
And that's what it seems like.
When you know people are workedup.
If you have anxiety anddepression and like really bad
sleep, you're like the highsymptoms and then you're on so
many drugs and I'm like this isI mean.
And then you you doesn't meanlike okay, you have that stuff
that maybe like if you solveeverything, you don't have ADHD
(08:51):
because they don't test, likehey, that you have the special
traits in ADHD that stand out,like you're really creative,
innovative, you can reallyhyper-focus, you have high
energy levels, you're reallyresilient, you're very
spontaneous, enthusiastic,you're very high risk-taking, et
(09:12):
cetera.
So these are like the positives.
So that's the problem too.
It's like, you know, they don'treally like test for those.
Maybe they do test for IQ andstuff in conjunction, but you
know they don't look at that.
It's like that kind of stuff islike I know that's more like
true ADHD, but of course theydon't test like that because
it's like H2 people really standout when they're healthy and at
(09:34):
their best.
It's just the symptoms, likeeven if you got a brain injury,
you could have like ADHDsymptoms too, because the front
part of your brain is theprefrontal cortex that regulates
your planning, your executivefunctions, your focus.
So when that gets damaged whichcan get damaged in many ways or
not working properly, like poorsleep, you know, give anybody
(09:56):
sleep apnea, they're going tohave ADHD-like symptoms.
It doesn't mean they have ADHD.
So… yeah, so you know there's arange of that Plus, you know,
looking at the rest of theirlife to not just you know what
they score.
So you know.
And then some people do see, youknow, like more extensive
(10:18):
testing on other things becausethey might have other issues.
Thousand US dollars just to gettested, because they've all
just to rule out things, or theyhave money and they have other
issues.
So they kind of look at thewhole life, that you had it your
whole life.
But you could have some of thethings I mentioned your whole
life too.
So that's of course.
(10:38):
You know a lot of this you knowgets complicated here, but you
know I always try to.
You know, do they really havethat positive traits?
But you know AC coaching doesyou know help executive function
, so it can help people whomaybe have pseudo ADHD and don't
really have ADHD or they justdon't TikTok too much and has
wired their brain for three,four years to be less focused.
(11:00):
And you got to build thattraining wheel back on to focus
more.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
Guilty as charged focus more.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
So guilty as charged.
It's funny you say that becauseI literally this morning
removed Facebook from my phonebecause it's like I just I have
to be done.
Nothing productive is is comingfrom this and with how it's
kind of changed somewhatrecently.
I don't know about you, butI've less and less seen on
Facebook like actual posts fromfriends.
There's a lot of sponsoredthings and just things that
Facebook thinks that I wouldlike and I'm like I'm not really
(11:33):
getting anything out of thisanyway, so just get it gone.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
Hey Henry, you know, as Tim mentioned and as you
mentioned, you were diagnosedlater on in life.
Do we have any sort of idea on?
You know how many people may begoing about their life
undiagnosed?
Is there some percentagesaround this?
Is this more common than wethink?
Can you give us an idea on that?
Speaker 3 (11:59):
Yeah, so it depends on which country and where.
You see, globally, adults are4% to 5% affected.
Then children would be arounddouble of that.
So in some countries they don'thave a mental health awareness
(12:31):
and they don't diagnose and itcosts money and the stigma, et
cetera, of you know beingdiagnosed with something and so
you know people going throughtheir life, you know struggling
and not knowing and you knowseek and getting help when it
doesn't match.
You know it's like I can go onReddit and different subreddits,
but this person has ADHD.
What can I do about it?
You know, besides keep postingor something.
But you know I can I do aboutit, besides keep posting or
something, but I can't just tellthem they have ADHD.
It's like, oh okay, I feel sadthat you're struggling with that
(12:55):
and you don't know that youhave ADHD.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
So yeah, and you mentioned stigma.
I'm a child of the 80s and the90s and growing up during that
time period, adhd had a hugekind of negative connotation
stigma associated with it.
How is it today?
Is that still there?
Is it more widely accepted ormore understood than it was
(13:20):
perhaps back then?
Speaker 3 (13:22):
Yeah.
So ADHD it's a little bitbetter now, but still it's a
stigma.
You know, you see the letters.
It's like a death sentence.
And then, like what you seefirst or know first is like what
it is.
It's like, oh, he can focus, hedoesn't have ADHD, that doesn't
(13:44):
mean anything.
And you know, yes, you know,tiktok ADHD folks.
You know they're doing a goodjob and stuff.
So it's like, you know, andreframing, you know ADHD as a
positive thing.
And then now there is somepeople who are pushing like it's
a brain difference, which?
It is a brain difference.
The brain doesn't mature asfast as other people but then
(14:13):
have really great strengths thatthe other people don't have.
So, looking at it that way, anda lot of the people that are
famous in any field that HGVwould work really well in, like
network engineering, some of thebest people are ADHD folks.
You know the celebrities arelike whether it's Ryan Reynolds,
who's everywhere, and even youknow, former past president
(14:36):
before the current one.
You know there's things aboutADHD that are addicting to other
people and, ironically, adhdpeople are addicted to addicting
things, especially ADHD folks.
So you know, watch out for ADHDfolks.
You don't want to get addictedto them.
So you know they're dangerousand you know many of the famous
athletes, entrepreneurs,entertainers, tech professionals
(15:01):
, et cetera have ADHD.
So when looking at that, it'slike there's a lot of great
people with ADHD.
Of course, if only they spokeout more about together public
PR with Super Bowl or whateverit is.
If you have signs of ADHD, gethelp, get support.
(15:22):
We get inside our own world toomuch and there's a lot of
negative self-talk and self-hateand anxiety and depression
because of that and it's reallytroubling.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
So, yeah, You've kind of touched on it here and there
, but it sounds like through allthis negativity there's a lot
of positives, with folks thatmight have ADHD.
What are some of those?
Can we start to highlight someof those, just to kind of step
away from the negative, maybe alittle bit?
Speaker 3 (15:55):
Yeah, yeah.
So Asian folks, you knowthey're really creative,
innovative.
You know network engineering,software engineering, you know a
lot of creative innovation.
So they can really focus forhours with their hyper-focus,
meaning you could focus for 12,16, 18 hours, which is probably
not good because you're burntout.
(16:16):
But you know, just keep onsolving problems and inventing
things.
And then quick thinking,adaptability, keen interest,
quick thinking, adaptability,keen interests and their passion
(16:38):
and just going, you know, fullon with whatever that is.
And you know having strongempathy and compassion for
others.
You know so be really good athelping others and caring for
people, being spontaneous andenthusiastic, resilience and
high energy levels.
So these not everyone has these.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
It depends on the person.
So you know, it's a spectrum.
As usual, AJ, I'm drawingparallels here to the talks that
we've had in the past aroundfocusing and leaning into your
strengths, because from whatHenry's telling us, that people
with ADHD or can be hyperfocused on things that they're
passionate about.
So I'm thinking that you know,if, if people with ADHD have
(17:24):
specific strengths that I thinkin it, if hyper focus is is one
of the things that they'redealing with, then, man, look
out, they're going to reallylean into those strengths.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely so.
You know, henry, you've touchedon a few times network
engineers.
We tend to need to focus forlong periods of time, either
studying for, you know,certifications, learning, new
technologies, big projects atwork.
If we're somebody who struggleswith that, whether we have ADHD
(17:55):
or not, what are some tips andtactics that folks can do to
help kind of build that focusback if we've kind of lost it a
little bit?
Speaker 3 (18:07):
Yeah.
So finding ways to focus andgaining it back, so finding what
works for you to get into focus.
So there's many ways to getfocused, like a thousand ways to
get focused.
Even squeezing your abs helpsyou focus because it dilates
your pupils and and that makesyou focus, um.
(18:30):
So it's like having a list ofactivities that that you know
refresh your mind, um, to getback into focus.
Whereas you know readingsomething you like, whether you
you do a little hobby that youenjoy for 10-15 minutes, whether
you do some, you know quickpushups or marching.
(18:50):
Marching and then touching yourelbows to your knees with
opposite arm and opposite leg,you know things of that nature
is like, you know, making yourbrain turn on.
Even putting cold water on yourface, you know, turns on your
brain to focus.
So there's so many ways.
So having you know a list andyou know picking one and doing
(19:12):
it, of course, in conjunctionwith that, is also taking breaks
.
You know it's like, okay, fourhour limit, one, two hour break,
besides having maybe littlebreaks in the four hours if need
.
So you know making sure thatyou know you stop the car and
let it.
You know cool down the enginebefore you turn it back on.
(19:36):
But you got to warm it up.
You know, just like in videogames, you know the.
You know like, say, league ofLegends or other stuff's like
the best players.
You know they have to warm up.
You know they do.
You know eye training or handtraining or whatever it is
warmups before they get into thegame.
They talk to themselvespositively, they visualize
success, they write down whatthey're going to do and then set
(20:03):
limits on things and then getinto it.
Blackout, distractions, darkroom, one screen go, which does
help you with focus.
If you just turn off the lights, just look at one screen, one
thing, you're in focus mode.
So, setting up that you'retaking things seriously and
you're blocking things andtaking care of yourself, you can
(20:24):
sustain attention for a longtime and then adding in that,
hey, you know, sustain attentionfor a long time and then adding
in that, hey, you know,sometimes when you're
hyper-focused, especially withASU folks, you know they're kind
of like holding their breath orbreathing really fast.
So it's like taking time toslowly breathe in through their
(20:44):
nose and then breathe outthrough their nose is important
during their breaks.
And you know when they'refeeling stressed or anxious, et
cetera.
And you know, watching like youknow with.
You know, with working remotely, a lot of folks are.
You know, it's like themeetings are even worse when
remotely.
So it's like ADHD folks hatemeetings.
(21:05):
It's like ADHD folks hatemeetings.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
It's like, it's like I don't think that's limited to
just ADHD.
Speaker 3 (21:13):
ADHD.
Folks really hate it though.
So like finding ways for you tofocus during meetings so
afterwards you don't kill yourfocus for your next task, sure.
So finding ways to before thesession and during a session, to
focus in afterwards like, ok, Ineed to reset myself.
(21:34):
You know, I got stress from ourboard stress sitting in a
meeting.
I need to release that and getinto the hyper focus mode to get
things done, because then it'slike afterwards people, it's
like it's like they ate a reallybad, heavy, delicious
McDonald's meal and then they'relike, oh, I got to focus now.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
After a meeting, it's like you didn't eat anything
but that meeting.
Speaker 3 (21:57):
It was like, oh my God, it just ruins your day.
And the people who havemeetings in the morning, it's
like that's terrible.
A lot of people focus the bestin the morning.
So doing your best work in themorning um, usually, unless
those night hours are bad sleepdisorders it's like get things
done in the morning before lunchand so you can, you know, feel
(22:18):
better about yourself and youdon't do it the second half of
the day, you know, after you atemcdonald's or whatever, and not
not feel good about yourself,which you know you know
especially.
You know you know programmersand engineers.
You know they.
You know they can have a bad,you know lifestyle with their
food.
So it's like you know keepingthat stuff away and taking care
(22:40):
of your body.
You know like, just like how anathlete does or a professional
esports.
Like you know you eat bad stuff.
You're not gonna get your hyperfocus and your creativity and
problem solving skills to be ahundred percent.
You know you got to value itand you know if you're addicted
to that stuff, you can transferout.
It's just you know it takestime.
You know it takes time tocreate, you know, a huge network
(23:02):
.
It takes time to change yourhabits I, that's a lot.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
I like, uh, a lot of the tactics that you suggested,
except the ab one.
I wouldn't be able to do the abone because I'd have to get the
abs first, but hey there'sgoals there.
One thing is you were talkingabout practicing focus,
something that I believe, aj,we've talked about in an episode
or two before on the show,probably when talking about
(23:30):
study habits and tactics andthat kind of thing is the, and I
I think this is what it is, Iif I don't get it right, let me
know but the, the Pomodorotechnique, where you, you go
heads down for X amount of timeand then you give yourself
somewhat of a break.
Are strategies or tactics likethat applicable to folks with
(23:51):
ADHD?
Speaker 3 (23:53):
Yeah, so you brought up a good point.
So ADHD they work their bestwhen they're in sprints, so
you're blocking out time andthen there's urgency to get
something done.
That's why a lot of themprocrastinate to the deadline,
because that's when it's like,why that's where their brain
gets so much energy to justexecute.
(24:13):
So you need daily deadlines andshort sprints up to four hours
in a period to get things done.
And then you got to breakthings down into small tasks and
then track progress, like in avideo game.
And you know you see that barand you know a lot of video
games they do so much mundane,boring things or stuff that's
(24:35):
repetitive and there's novariety.
But they show progress and it'spredictable and it's they're
giving you a lot of positivefeedback great job, I did it,
nailed, keep the good work, etcetera.
So having even just listeningto that while doing those long
periods of work will help youfocus better because you're
(24:57):
getting, you know, satisfactionfrom it.
You know it's like, okay, it'sprobably not good to just drink,
you know, coca-cola for fourhours to get work done.
Yes, because you're gettingpositive dopamine from that.
But you know, just listening tomusic that's good for focus, or
just phrases will help keeppushing your focus along and
(25:19):
taking time to.
You know, put in that time topre-warm up your focus.
You know, just like you do ajogging and light sprinting
before you actually sprint, sothe muscles are ready to fire.
So, yeah, the Pomodoro is greatand improving on that.
You know some folks use, youknow, the visual timers to have
(25:40):
like a pie chart so they can seetime more.
Or use a sand timer, etc.
Or even, if they need be, usePeepo, like okay, we're going to
get a partner, we're going towork for 25 minutes, we're going
to share what we did and keepon going.
You know something like that.
Because HG people, they do getmore motivation and focus when
(26:04):
they're accountable with peopleeven more.
It's like having somebody.
The systems are super online.
They're great at helping otherpeople but not so much at
themselves a lot of times.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
I kind of like that idea of I don't know mirroring
somebody, right, like you worktogether in a room.
You see the example, oh,somebody is working.
I better work too as somebodythat works remotely.
I don't mind it, but sometimesit'd be nice to have a friend
around to work with every nowand then.
But I think that's some greatadvice, right, like if you're
(26:38):
alone at your desk, even in theoffice, maybe you book a
conference room or get to ashared space and work.
You know, work with somebodyfor a little bit, for those
short sprints.
And, yeah, the Pomodorotechnique.
I think it's like 25 minutes ofwork, five minutes of relaxing,
and I think you do like four ofthose and then you take like a
longer extended break.
I recall when I was doingmeditation, there's this idea or
(27:02):
thing called equanimity andit's like your brain is a muscle
and, just like any other musclein your body, you have to work
it to get it to.
You know, build strength and ifyou can, you know the idea of
meditation is this mentalcalmness clear, clear, your mind
don't think about anything.
If you, if thoughts start tobarge in there, you, you
recognize it and then you knowkind of like, push them away and
(27:24):
get back to that mentalcalmness again.
When I was starting mymeditation journey, I learned
about this idea of equanimityand as I started to build that
up and get better at meditation,I found I got better at working
for longer sprints because Iwas building my focus back.
Is that a technique or anythingthat you would recommend?
Speaker 3 (27:44):
Yeah, so mind, body, mindfulness, meditation, somatic
exercises, tai chi, qigong,yoga, all those things Well, and
even martial arts help withfocus and ADHD so much.
So, even just breathing inslowly and exhaling slowly,
(28:05):
you're bringing in dopamine tothis part of the brain.
As mentioned before, that's theprefrontal cortex, which is
related to focus and motivationand planning.
So if you want to focus betterand feel better, you make sure
that this part of the brain isgetting, you know, air and
dopamine throughout the day.
(28:25):
So having those periods duringyour day, you know, even a
couple breaths really changesthe game of you know, your
productivity, your communication, etc.
Especially in even non-ag folks.
Because you know we take on somuch stress, um, in life, and
(28:45):
you know, when stress, the firstthing the body shuts down so
much stress is that part of thebrain and it's like what did
they do at stores and onlineshopping and stuff?
It's like shut that part of thebrain down and just like take
your money and that's that'swhat they're doing.
And video games wants you toshut it down too, because video
games, you don't need this, theyalready have it out for you.
(29:06):
You just follow their thing andand you keep going.
So, so finding what works foryou of meditation, mindfulness,
breathing, etc.
And incorporate that, you know,throughout your day.
I mean, martial arts is one ofthe best things, though, because
you're getting the exercise andyou're getting the mind-body
(29:29):
awareness and the folks, whenthey're little the mom sent
there they do really well.
I mean, like I'mChinese-American and Jackie Chan
has ADHD.
His son was like, oh, my dadhas ADHD.
And I was like, oh, and thenlook at him.
Oh, his story, oh, he's atypical ADHD kid, but in Asia.
So Jackie Chan then was sent tomartial arts and that's where
(29:54):
he disciplined his mind and hisbody and then channeled into
being a creative and an actionstar in movies.
So when your mind and body isaligned, then you can, you know,
channel your energy and focusinto whatever you want, if
you're really curious andpassionate about it.
Cause, you know, maybe networkengineering, you know, isn't for
(30:16):
you If you you can't keep upthe certifications, or, you know
, losing a drive to learn orwhatever it's like, maybe
something else that you know itis what it is, or it's maybe
like your body's just notkeeping up anymore and you've
been abusing it, not to yourfault, you know, because a lot
of things are just pushed foryou to do bad things in this
society.
So it's like you know, fixingyour health and you know getting
(30:39):
a line of your principles andvalues is important.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
No, it's usually my fault.
Speaker 3 (30:45):
I'll take ownership for that.
Speaker 1 (30:47):
That's great.
So, henry, shifting gears alittle bit and let's talk about
support and treatment.
When do typically, or when doyou recommend, people start
seeking treatment or help fromassistance from a doctor?
Speaker 3 (31:08):
Yeah, so when their daily life is really affected by
their ADHD, so typically youknow, it's like, you know, when
their productivity is so bad andtheir home life, you know so
much things going on, it's likethen you know they can't
handle't handle it.
Usually when it's like they geta new job or a higher position,
or they just got married ortheir kids now just got a house,
(31:31):
and then it's like, you knowthis, the brain just opens up,
you know, because there's somuch stress, it's like you know,
I, I, that you know they don'tfeel themselves and there's like
you know an entire doctor andit's like, okay, you know, it's
like okay, you know, I tell thedoctor I was like okay, you know
, I was like okay, and I wassent to, you know, a
psychiatrist or a therapist andcheck what's going on.
So you know it's usually one ofthose crisis moments.
(31:54):
Or you know the new lifechanges.
You know people seek out, youknow, help, you know, for ADHD
or not, and it's like you know awhole bunch of people seek out
for life coaching.
It's like like you might haveadhd and you not know it and
it's like, yeah, you could usemedication or you could also use
a coach as well to help youknow manage that.
You know that you've beengetting by without.
(32:15):
You know.
You know developing some skills.
You know because you're smartand you're good at your job and
and you're like and you like it.
Um, it's just, you know there'ssome things that could be
improved, because you know wedon't want you to burn out,
because H-sheet folks,especially the successful ones,
you know they work too much andthen don't take care of
themselves and then they burnout.
Speaker 2 (32:41):
Let's talk about that for a minute.
So what does burnout like?
Let's define it Like if we'rejust so hyper-focused on stuff,
how can we tell that we'restarting to burn out?
Speaker 3 (32:53):
Yeah, so you don't feel motivated to do the things
you like to do during work andoutside of work.
Everything becomes more of achore.
You're more exhausted, yoursleep is worse.
Everything is kind of a chore.
You know you're more exhausted,you know your sleep is worse.
You know everything is kind oflike going out, and then you
(33:14):
know you might start feelingmore overwhelmed with things
that you know weren'toverwhelming before, or you know
, and things of that or theopposite, you know it's like
this doesn't do it for meanymore, and and then you know,
and then you know you starthaving more.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
You have anxiety, are you feeling depressed, etc and
what are some ways that thatfolks, can you know, come back
from burnout?
Do they just go on vacation fora little bit, and sometimes
that might be difficult to do.
How do you combat that?
How do you?
How do you recover?
Speaker 3 (33:50):
Yeah, so you know taking time to work on.
You know your health.
You know mindfulness,meditation.
You know going out into nature,improving your sleep routine,
eating.
You know foods that you knoware nourishing to you and you
know talking to people about.
(34:11):
You know your challenges andseeking mental health.
And you know.
And then you know, try torefresh your life with.
You know some hobbies you usedto do, or you know having
something you enjoy and beingthankful and writing down things
and looking at things.
Just re-exploring yourself too,can be very helpful to see.
(34:35):
It's like maybe you do have totake a vacation, maybe you do
need a new career or you wouldjust adjust how you do your job
or you get a different positionat your company.
So you know it could be manyways.
It's just like what's you so?
You know, as a coach, and I'mhere to find what works for you,
you know there's a thousandways to focus.
(34:56):
Are you going to use all ofthem?
No, so finding you know what's,you know what's going to work
for you at that time, and youknow, and sticking to it, you
know cause, especially Asianfolks, you know, sticking to
something can be tough.
You know it's.
(35:18):
You know, um, the beginning,you know, is hard, and you know,
and, and it takes time tochange.
Speaker 1 (35:21):
So let's, Henry, let's talk about what you do as
a life coach.
When someone reaches out to you, you have a new client.
How do you start those sessions?
How do you start thatrelationship to get them moving
in the right?
Speaker 3 (35:37):
direction, every call , which is, you know, discussing
.
You know if we're a good fitfor each other.
You know what's his challenges.
You know how I work, et cetera.
So you know, we then do theintake session where you know,
(35:57):
we discuss, you know, you knowhis current, more of his current
situation, details, because Igave him intake forms to find
out.
You know what's going on in hiswork life, his home life, you
know what AAC things he'sstruggling with, what does he
want to change, what stopped himfrom changing before?
How's his mindfulness, what arehis values, what are his
strengths, what is his passions,interests, et cetera.
(36:21):
And then you know, then thesession afterwards is then
discussing okay, we're going tomake plans for the goals you
outline, intake, you know ACfriendly goals.
I mean, we don't want to beprofessionistic with the goals
but we do want to, of course,make it.
You know the smart, typicalsmart goals, but you know some
(36:42):
more flexibility because you'reyou have ADHD, we just want
progress.
You know it's like, because youhave ADHD, we just want
progress.
You know it's like in videogame.
It's like you don't think about, oh, that boss is level 100.
It's like you don't think aboutyes, it's like you're going to
show who's boss later.
But you know you don't think somuch about that.
You think about how are yougoing to get there and that you
take time every day to do thatand set up the system to do that
(37:03):
.
So day to do that and set upthe system to do that.
So say you know you want to havean organized room as your go,
for example, it's like, okay,what are the little things we're
going to do right in thebeginning to help decrease that
it gets messy?
You know what are you going tobuy, et cetera.
And then like how are you goingto keep maintaining it and when
are you going to schedule atime to clean it, et cetera.
(37:24):
So you know every session afterthe initial, it's like okay, if
there's three goes, there'sthree sessions to start working
on those goes.
Like you know putting thingsinto action.
You know quick, actionablesteps.
It's like okay, distractionskind of start blocking them and
setting up time for you to havethose distractions when you have
(37:45):
distraction time, not whenyou're working time.
And yeah, Then afterwards isadding more stuff to that stuff
or other stuff that affectstheir ADHD and their life to
help them keep going.
So it's all about little things.
Every week it's like, okay, whatdo you want to work on?
Okay, let's see what are yourissues.
(38:06):
Okay, can we create solutionsthat work for you?
How can you use your strengthand problem solving to fix this
issue?
And it's like, oh wait, you didthis before.
It's like, could you reapply itand remember to do it more
often?
So I mean a good portion, I meanlike 80% of solutions.
You kind of already have itthrough talking and questions to
(38:33):
get you the solution and thenyou try to keep it that way
until it doesn't work anymoreand we keep changing it up.
But we want to make sure it'slike it works for you, because
there's so many solutions,because the books are just all
general solutions.
They're not you, they don'tunderstand your life, your
preferences, your personality.
So, as a coach, it's like, okay,you know, 80% it's you, 20%
(38:56):
it's yeah, maybe there's sometools that work really well with
for you versus other tools andyou like that thing more.
So you got to work with you 80%, and then 20% is everything
else and it just, you know, keeppracticing those things, cause
you know you got so many, youknow you got, you've got anxiety
, depression or negativethoughts and self-sabotaging,
(39:20):
and there's a lot of stuff towork on to get you to be like
okay, adhd is actually okay,it's actually a wonderful thing.
That's why you like networkengineering.
It's just when you're nothealthy in your mind and body,
then you're not going to beyourself.
And having a support systemwhether it's a company, your
(39:44):
house or if you live in Canadaand it's so cold and that makes
you miserable it's like I meanthat's another it's a personal
shot, henry.
It's like I mean that's apersonal shot Henry, then that's
also another challenge too.
Speaker 2 (40:12):
It's like, ok, you got to get light therapy more
often when you live in the Northor you know, find ways to be
more social and not be in thehouse, and find activities you
enjoy once again, or somethingnew that will, you know, make
you more you.
That's all great, great advice.
Henry, I want to ask you thisbefore we sign off, and I
probably should have asked youthis earlier when you were going
kind of through your journey,at what point did you kind of
realize like, hey, I can helppeople and kind of run with that
?
Speaker 3 (40:33):
Yeah, so when I was seeing an HD coach myself, but I
kind of brushed it off in thebeginning but then I wasn't
thinking too much of it BecauseI made a mistake and thought
everyone with HD is like thepeople on Reddit and Reddit is
like if you go on Reddit, adhd,it's like that's like it's a
(40:55):
doomsday adhd, it's like it'slike the worst thing in the
world.
So it's like don't, don't go onthat, because it's really like,
you know, like a heart attack,that subreddit so.
But it's like when you, when,when, you know, when, I think
about, yeah, I could be apsychologist, I like problem
(41:15):
solving, I like helping people,or a researcher or entrepreneur,
it's like, you know, an ADHDcoach kind of does a bunch of
things and also kind of like aconsultant, which a lot of IT
consultants or consultants areADHD, because there's like I got
a client, he has a problem, Ifocus for hours.
New client Next day, focus forhours Next day.
(41:35):
I focus for hours.
New client next day, focus forhours next day, you know.
So you know it's like, okay,yeah, I can do that.
You know, and you know a lot ofpsychiatrists and a good portion
of therapists have ADHD,ironically too.
So you know it's like, okay,yeah, I can, I can be a coach
and, and you know, help helppeople across the world and you
know, you know, make the worldeven a better place and more
(41:58):
funner place, because hd peopleare fun and and and interesting
folks and, you know, and fillinga gap in the void and most
coaches don't have adhd and um,I mean that I mean 80 most ac
coaches don't have ADHD.
They're kind of like the momswho have ADHD children or
(42:19):
husbands.
So that also fills another gap.
Having another person whounderstands you and then giving
them my for helping people.
And you know it's a greatfeeling to help people, you know
, because a lot of things we dois like it's for other people or
(42:40):
we make things for other people.
So you know, people who aremost satisfied, high
satisfaction in life is becausethey help other people and they
see the benefit of what they do,you know, with their words or
their actions and their productand, you know, gives them a good
feeling.
So that's why I became a coachour live stream.
Speaker 2 (43:16):
Is a life coach kind of the same thing as a
psychologist, or is it reallysomething different?
And if somebody is looking fora life coach, what are some of
the qualifications that folksshould look for?
If someone is just saying ohhey, I'm a life coach, but maybe
they don't have anyqualifications or maybe they
have the wrong qualifications,what are some things that folks
can look for, as they're maybelooking for some help?
Speaker 3 (43:33):
Yeah, so a psychologist.
They have training in mentalhealth.
They're focused on diagnosis ofanxiety, depression and other
things and they're focused onhealing your past with family
and other things.
And that's their focus and theyhave all these techniques and
(43:56):
things.
And that's, you know, theirfocus.
And they have all thesetechniques and things.
And you know they get licensingCoaches.
On the other hand, they don'thave to have anything and
they're more focused onsolutions for your future.
So you know, think about youknow your future as like a wall.
You want to go over that wall,but then you know you might be
dealing with anxiety and stuff.
(44:17):
You're not even thinking aboutthe wall.
That's where you go see atherapist, but if you want to
climb that wall, you see a coach.
So you know, think of it thatway and that, okay, there are
schools for coaching, except youknow some of them are not, you
know, accredited by anything.
And a good portion of them areaccredited by the ICF, which is
(44:39):
the International CoachingFederation, which kind of be
like the APA, which is theAmerican Psychological
Association, does forpsychologists, the ICF does for
coaching and there's a few othersmaller ones.
So, finding a coach who studiedat a school like that and, if
(44:59):
need be, study other things inwhatever you're seeking help for
.
And at the end of the day, yes,tony Robbins didn't study at
any school and he gets paid10,000, whatever an hour,
whatever it is, and he has paid10,000, whatever, uh, an hour or
whatever it is.
And you know he has helped alot of people.
So of course you know if you gettoo bogged down that um, then
(45:22):
then of course sometimes it'snot always that, but you know
it's just, it's just a rule ofthumb.
So you know why MMV.
You know with that.
And so you know the life coach.
You know we're we're not goingto have any mental health
techniques and stuff, but a lotof them have.
They could be health coaches ormindfulness, so they might
(45:45):
specialize in something.
So in general life coaches,they just have different aspects
of life, how to createsolutions to overcome it.
But usually it's like if youhave more than like moderate to
high, like anxiety, depression,other stuff that's getting in
the way of your life, thenyou're probably not ready for a
(46:05):
life coach.
You know you climbing the wallis going to be even more
difficult.
So you should see a therapistversus a life coach.
Besides, some folks have reallybad sleep and breathing
challenges.
So working on that would wouldhelp you be more ready for life
coaching, cause some of thataffects your mental health.
A lot of it affects your mentalhealth.
(46:25):
Um, you know, if you you knowyou probably have family members
um one or so, you know withlike sleep apnea, it's like if
they don't have that CPAPmachine they feel so bad after
they wake up and you're going tobe more ADHD if you do so, and
it's like you're going to begrouchy, you can't focus, you
really need the caffeine evenmore than other people, etc.
Speaker 2 (46:50):
Yeah, and, like you said, if you were diagnosed or
maybe you feel like you'rehaving some struggles later on
in life, you might not need amental health professional or
medications.
You just need some tools, and alife coach can help kind of
assess where you're at andprovide you with those tools to
help you get over that wall.
I love the analogy, henry.
This has been a real funconversation.
(47:11):
If people want to learn moreabout you and some of these
techniques and stuff that yourecommended, where can they go
to learn more?
Speaker 3 (47:18):
Yeah, so you know.
You see my name over here.
You can type inCoachHenryLambcom to reach out
and you know, ask any questions.
And you know, get help and gethelp if you're looking for help
in the future.
I'm working on a book Well,it's a short guide and I'm
(47:39):
working on a group coachingprogram to help folks out and
one day courses.
I mean, if you, of course,don't remember that, you could
just type in ADHD coaching nearme.
If that, remember.
I mean it's easier, since Iwanted to change my name.
It'd be funny if I changed myname to something that was more
memorable.
But so, yeah, so you know,embrace your strengths.
(48:03):
You know seek support.
You know, tailored to yourneeds, because no one else is
going to replace you.
And you know you can beextraordinary in whatever you're
curious or passionate about.
And hey, remember, if you eversee a network engineer running
around looking for theirmisplaced laptop while holding
it in their hand, just know theymight be one of us too with
(48:25):
ADHD.
Speaker 1 (48:26):
They'd be missing the console cable too, though yes,
Everybody's always missing those.
Speaker 2 (48:31):
Yes, I love it.
I love it, henry.
Thank you so much.
I will put those links in ourshow notes so you can find those
nice and easy, henry, butbefore we sign off, is there
anything that we should haveasked you that we didn't?
No, awesome, yeah, I think wedid great.
(48:53):
We covered the topic prettythoroughly.
This has been very informative.
Thank you so much, henry, forjoining us and we'll see you
next time on another episode ofthe Art of Network Engineering
podcast.
Hey everyone, this is AJ.
If you like what you heardtoday, then make sure you
subscribe to our podcast andyour favorite podcatcher.
Smash that bell icon to getnotified of all of our future
episodes.
Also, follow us on Twitter andInstagram.
(49:16):
We are at Art of NetEng, that'sArt of N-E-T-E-N-G.
You can also find us on the webat artofnetworkengineeringcom,
where we post all of our shownotes.
You can read blog articles fromthe co-hosts and guests and
also a lot more news and infofrom the networking world.
Thanks for listening.
AJ, I'm drawing parallels here to the talks that
we've had in the past aroundfocusing and leaning into your
strengths, because from whatHenry's telling us that people
with ADHDfocus is one of thethings that they're dealing with
(00:28):
then, man, look out, they'regoing to really lean into those
strengths.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
This is the Art of NetworkEngineering podcast.
In this podcast we exploretools, technologies and talented
people.
We aim to bring you informationthat will expand your skill
sense and toolbox and share thestories of fellow network
(00:55):
engineers.
Welcome to the Art of NetworkEngineering.
I am AJ Murray and tonight myco-host is the one, the only the
Tim Bertino Tim, thanks forjoining me, our guest this
evening.
His name is Henry Lam and he isan ADHD life coach.
He reached out to us via emailand kind of pitched the idea of
(01:16):
hey, I've got this great ideafor a show and we just latched
right onto it.
I think it makes a whole lot ofsense.
So we're really excited towelcome Henry to the show.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
Henry, thank you so much for giving us your time.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Yeah, thank you for having me, aj and Tim.
Absolutely, henry, can you tellus a little bit more about your
background as an ADHD lifecoach?
Speaker 3 (01:37):
Yeah.
So first of all, I also haveADHD, which is ADHD combined
type, and I struggled for manyyears with undiagnosed ADHD.
I was the typical ADHD kid whenI was weirdly just at home, but
at school I was the quiet boywho daydreamed, which is kind of
(01:58):
like the opposite of the usualtypical ADHD kid, the stereotype
.
And I got diagnosed when I was22 because I almost dropped out
of college and the one therapistwas like maybe you have ADHD.
I was like, oh, okay.
(02:19):
And then I got diagnosed and itmade sense like, oh, why I
struggled for many years.
No, I couldn't be consistent indoing math, I was smart, but I
just didn't put much effort andI could be all over the place or
I could just be like just deadzombie in the class.
And so after I got diagnosed, Istarted learning more about
(02:47):
ADHD and trying to fix it, cureit, etc.
And dealing with other issuesand seeing an ADHD therapist hey
, I can help other people withADHD as an ADHD coach.
(03:08):
Because I saw, hey, they helppeople with ADHD and you get
freedom and you can live thelife you want on your own terms,
which I was really rebelliousfor many years and still am and
it's like, oh you, can, you know, be more true to yourself
(03:30):
instead of sucking up to acompany or other things of that
nature.
So I became a life coach forthe Life Purpose Institute and
then I specialized in ADHD withtaking courses at the ADHD
Coaching Academy.
And then, you know, now it'sbeen two and a half years, you
know, working on, you knowmyself and my coaching business.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
That's great.
So I know part of when youreached out to us.
You took it as you know,helping people, focus
particularly people with ADHD.
But a lot of what you can offercan help folks even if they
don't have ADHD, and I think alot of people today, even if
they don't, I think they sufferfrom.
You know the doom scrolling onsocial media and that just I
(04:14):
know it happens to me, rightRight.
So I get stuck in the doomscrolling.
I'm looking at whether whatother content creators are doing
in our niche, trying to getsome ideas for content for us,
and now my attention span isjust not there.
Like I sometimes find itdifficult to focus on tasks for
extended periods of time, andthat's not something that used
(04:34):
to be a problem for me.
So before we get too muchfurther down the road, let's
start at the beginning anddefine what is ADHD and what
does it look like.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
Yeah, so ADHD is categorized by the medical
professionals as it's aneurodevelopmental disorder.
So that means your brain didn'tdevelop as properly as other
people.
So it's a disorder and you haveto treat it.
And symptoms can be inattention, which means you're
(05:09):
disorganized, poor memory, etc.
Hyperactivity, means you keeptalking, keep moving, can't sit
down and be quiet, andimpositivity, meaning you don't
think before you speak or youact, etc.
So these are just a general,the categories of ADHD.
(05:29):
Of course there's specificbehaviors for each, and then
some people might have all ofthem, or they might have just
inattention, which is morecommon in, say, network
engineers, or they could becombined as well.
For network engineers it wouldbe less being just a hyperactive
(05:50):
, impulsive person, which ismore like the stereotype.
If it's the hyperactive andimpulsive, that's more like the
stereotypical kid, but they dooutgrow some of it.
But they're still hyperactiveor impulsive in their mind or
they channel it in differentways or impulsive in their mind
or they channel it in differentways.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
Now, Henry, you mentioned being diagnosed in
your early 20s.
Is there any sort of typicalage or period in life where this
is diagnosed in people?
Or I mean, are a lot of kidsseen and diagnosed, or at what
point do we think this isstarting to show in people?
Speaker 3 (06:31):
Yeah, so it's more commonly diagnosed in kids,
especially boys, especially thetypical hyperactive and positive
kid.
The stereotype it's being morediagnosed in adults now, more so
female, since they more likelyto seek help.
Um, but, but usually it's theeveryone else, you know they can
(06:54):
get lost in a crowd.
They get diagnosed with anxiety, depression, bipolar,
borderline, etc.
So know, because there's aspectrum of ADHD folks, it can
be hard to pinpoint, slash mostpractitioners in healthcare and
mental healthcare to understandADHD, because there's a spectrum
of folks so it's hard forpeople to understand ADHD and
(07:21):
that they don't understand ADHDin general.
Speaker 1 (07:24):
And let's tap into that a little bit further,
because I was starting to havethis question in Zatharian in
the chat.
Read my mind it's how do wediagnose people with ADHD?
What does that process looklike?
Speaker 3 (07:46):
for ADHD testing to have you go through
questionnaires about you knowyour, your daily life and you
know your possible ADHD symptomsand they are categorized under,
you know, inattention,hyperactivity and positivity, so
they're like grouped and youknow, and then there's like a
scale of your rating for eachand you know then you could have
(08:06):
low symptoms, medium symptomsor high symptoms.
So there's a range and thenwhen is so, some people might
have high, some people havemedium, some people have low.
That can worsen ADHD, like youknow really poor sleep or poor
breathing or other healthproblems, so your symptoms would
(08:29):
be higher.
And that's what it seems like.
When you know people are workedup.
If you have anxiety anddepression and like really bad
sleep, you're like the highsymptoms and then you're on so
many drugs and I'm like this isI mean.
And then you you doesn't meanlike okay, you have that stuff
that maybe like if you solveeverything, you don't have ADHD
(08:51):
because they don't test, likehey, that you have the special
traits in ADHD that stand out,like you're really creative,
innovative, you can reallyhyper-focus, you have high
energy levels, you're reallyresilient, you're very
spontaneous, enthusiastic,you're very high risk-taking, et
(09:12):
cetera.
So these are like the positives.
So that's the problem too.
It's like, you know, they don'treally like test for those.
Maybe they do test for IQ andstuff in conjunction, but you
know they don't look at that.
It's like that kind of stuff islike I know that's more like
true ADHD, but of course theydon't test like that because
it's like H2 people really standout when they're healthy and at
(09:34):
their best.
It's just the symptoms, likeeven if you got a brain injury,
you could have like ADHDsymptoms too, because the front
part of your brain is theprefrontal cortex that regulates
your planning, your executivefunctions, your focus.
So when that gets damaged whichcan get damaged in many ways or
not working properly, like poorsleep, you know, give anybody
(09:56):
sleep apnea, they're going tohave ADHD-like symptoms.
It doesn't mean they have ADHD.
So… yeah, so you know there's arange of that Plus, you know,
looking at the rest of theirlife to not just you know what
they score.
So you know.
And then some people do see, youknow, like more extensive
(10:18):
testing on other things becausethey might have other issues.
Thousand US dollars just to gettested, because they've all
just to rule out things, or theyhave money and they have other
issues.
So they kind of look at thewhole life, that you had it your
whole life.
But you could have some of thethings I mentioned your whole
life too.
So that's of course.
(10:38):
You know a lot of this you knowgets complicated here, but you
know I always try to.
You know, do they really havethat positive traits?
But you know AC coaching doesyou know help executive function
, so it can help people whomaybe have pseudo ADHD and don't
really have ADHD or they justdon't TikTok too much and has
wired their brain for three,four years to be less focused.
(11:00):
And you got to build thattraining wheel back on to focus
more.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
Guilty as charged focus more.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
So guilty as charged.
It's funny you say that becauseI literally this morning
removed Facebook from my phonebecause it's like I just I have
to be done.
Nothing productive is is comingfrom this and with how it's
kind of changed somewhatrecently.
I don't know about you, butI've less and less seen on
Facebook like actual posts fromfriends.
There's a lot of sponsoredthings and just things that
Facebook thinks that I wouldlike and I'm like I'm not really
(11:33):
getting anything out of thisanyway, so just get it gone.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
Hey Henry, you know, as Tim mentioned and as you
mentioned, you were diagnosedlater on in life.
Do we have any sort of idea on?
You know how many people may begoing about their life
undiagnosed?
Is there some percentagesaround this?
Is this more common than wethink?
Can you give us an idea on that?
Speaker 3 (11:59):
Yeah, so it depends on which country and where.
You see, globally, adults are4% to 5% affected.
Then children would be arounddouble of that.
So in some countries they don'thave a mental health awareness
(12:31):
and they don't diagnose and itcosts money and the stigma, et
cetera, of you know beingdiagnosed with something and so
you know people going throughtheir life, you know struggling
and not knowing and you knowseek and getting help when it
doesn't match.
You know it's like I can go onReddit and different subreddits,
but this person has ADHD.
What can I do about it?
You know, besides keep postingor something.
But you know I can I do aboutit, besides keep posting or
something, but I can't just tellthem they have ADHD.
It's like, oh okay, I feel sadthat you're struggling with that
(12:55):
and you don't know that youhave ADHD.
Speaker 2 (12:58):
So yeah, and you mentioned stigma.
I'm a child of the 80s and the90s and growing up during that
time period, adhd had a hugekind of negative connotation
stigma associated with it.
How is it today?
Is that still there?
Is it more widely accepted ormore understood than it was
(13:20):
perhaps back then?
Speaker 3 (13:22):
Yeah.
So ADHD it's a little bitbetter now, but still it's a
stigma.
You know, you see the letters.
It's like a death sentence.
And then, like what you seefirst or know first is like what
it is.
It's like, oh, he can focus, hedoesn't have ADHD, that doesn't
(13:44):
mean anything.
And you know, yes, you know,tiktok ADHD folks.
You know they're doing a goodjob and stuff.
So it's like, you know, andreframing, you know ADHD as a
positive thing.
And then now there is somepeople who are pushing like it's
a brain difference, which?
It is a brain difference.
The brain doesn't mature asfast as other people but then
(14:13):
have really great strengths thatthe other people don't have.
So, looking at it that way, anda lot of the people that are
famous in any field that HGVwould work really well in, like
network engineering, some of thebest people are ADHD folks.
You know the celebrities arelike whether it's Ryan Reynolds,
who's everywhere, and even youknow, former past president
(14:36):
before the current one.
You know there's things aboutADHD that are addicting to other
people and, ironically, adhdpeople are addicted to addicting
things, especially ADHD folks.
So you know, watch out for ADHDfolks.
You don't want to get addictedto them.
So you know they're dangerousand you know many of the famous
athletes, entrepreneurs,entertainers, tech professionals
(15:01):
, et cetera have ADHD.
So when looking at that, it'slike there's a lot of great
people with ADHD.
Of course, if only they spokeout more about together public
PR with Super Bowl or whateverit is.
If you have signs of ADHD, gethelp, get support.
(15:22):
We get inside our own world toomuch and there's a lot of
negative self-talk and self-hateand anxiety and depression
because of that and it's reallytroubling.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
So, yeah, You've kind of touched on it here and there
, but it sounds like through allthis negativity there's a lot
of positives, with folks thatmight have ADHD.
What are some of those?
Can we start to highlight someof those, just to kind of step
away from the negative, maybe alittle bit?
Speaker 3 (15:55):
Yeah, yeah.
So Asian folks, you knowthey're really creative,
innovative.
You know network engineering,software engineering, you know a
lot of creative innovation.
So they can really focus forhours with their hyper-focus,
meaning you could focus for 12,16, 18 hours, which is probably
not good because you're burntout.
(16:16):
But you know, just keep onsolving problems and inventing
things.
And then quick thinking,adaptability, keen interest,
quick thinking, adaptability,keen interests and their passion
(16:38):
and just going, you know, fullon with whatever that is.
And you know having strongempathy and compassion for
others.
You know so be really good athelping others and caring for
people, being spontaneous andenthusiastic, resilience and
high energy levels.
So these not everyone has these.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
It depends on the person.
So you know, it's a spectrum.
As usual, AJ, I'm drawingparallels here to the talks that
we've had in the past aroundfocusing and leaning into your
strengths, because from whatHenry's telling us, that people
with ADHD or can be hyperfocused on things that they're
passionate about.
So I'm thinking that you know,if, if people with ADHD have
(17:24):
specific strengths that I thinkin it, if hyper focus is is one
of the things that they'redealing with, then, man, look
out, they're going to reallylean into those strengths.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely so.
You know, henry, you've touchedon a few times network
engineers.
We tend to need to focus forlong periods of time, either
studying for, you know,certifications, learning, new
technologies, big projects atwork.
If we're somebody who struggleswith that, whether we have ADHD
(17:55):
or not, what are some tips andtactics that folks can do to
help kind of build that focusback if we've kind of lost it a
little bit?
Speaker 3 (18:07):
Yeah.
So finding ways to focus andgaining it back, so finding what
works for you to get into focus.
So there's many ways to getfocused, like a thousand ways to
get focused.
Even squeezing your abs helpsyou focus because it dilates
your pupils and and that makesyou focus, um.
(18:30):
So it's like having a list ofactivities that that you know
refresh your mind, um, to getback into focus.
Whereas you know readingsomething you like, whether you
you do a little hobby that youenjoy for 10-15 minutes, whether
you do some, you know quickpushups or marching.
(18:50):
Marching and then touching yourelbows to your knees with
opposite arm and opposite leg,you know things of that nature
is like, you know, making yourbrain turn on.
Even putting cold water on yourface, you know, turns on your
brain to focus.
So there's so many ways.
So having you know a list andyou know picking one and doing
(19:12):
it, of course, in conjunctionwith that, is also taking breaks
.
You know it's like, okay, fourhour limit, one, two hour break,
besides having maybe littlebreaks in the four hours if need
.
So you know making sure thatyou know you stop the car and
let it.
You know cool down the enginebefore you turn it back on.
(19:36):
But you got to warm it up.
You know, just like in videogames, you know the.
You know like, say, league ofLegends or other stuff's like
the best players.
You know they have to warm up.
You know they do.
You know eye training or handtraining or whatever it is
warmups before they get into thegame.
They talk to themselvespositively, they visualize
success, they write down whatthey're going to do and then set
(20:03):
limits on things and then getinto it.
Blackout, distractions, darkroom, one screen go, which does
help you with focus.
If you just turn off the lights, just look at one screen, one
thing, you're in focus mode.
So, setting up that you'retaking things seriously and
you're blocking things andtaking care of yourself, you can
(20:24):
sustain attention for a longtime and then adding in that,
hey, you know, sustain attentionfor a long time and then adding
in that, hey, you know,sometimes when you're
hyper-focused, especially withASU folks, you know they're kind
of like holding their breath orbreathing really fast.
So it's like taking time toslowly breathe in through their
(20:44):
nose and then breathe outthrough their nose is important
during their breaks.
And you know when they'refeeling stressed or anxious, et
cetera.
And you know, watching like youknow with.
You know, with working remotely, a lot of folks are.
You know, it's like themeetings are even worse when
remotely.
So it's like ADHD folks hatemeetings.
(21:05):
It's like ADHD folks hatemeetings.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
It's like, it's like I don't think that's limited to
just ADHD.
Speaker 3 (21:13):
ADHD.
Folks really hate it though.
So like finding ways for you tofocus during meetings so
afterwards you don't kill yourfocus for your next task, sure.
So finding ways to before thesession and during a session, to
focus in afterwards like, ok, Ineed to reset myself.
(21:34):
You know, I got stress from ourboard stress sitting in a
meeting.
I need to release that and getinto the hyper focus mode to get
things done, because then it'slike afterwards people, it's
like it's like they ate a reallybad, heavy, delicious
McDonald's meal and then they'relike, oh, I got to focus now.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
After a meeting, it's like you didn't eat anything
but that meeting.
Speaker 3 (21:57):
It was like, oh my God, it just ruins your day.
And the people who havemeetings in the morning, it's
like that's terrible.
A lot of people focus the bestin the morning.
So doing your best work in themorning um, usually, unless
those night hours are bad sleepdisorders it's like get things
done in the morning before lunchand so you can, you know, feel
(22:18):
better about yourself and youdon't do it the second half of
the day, you know, after you atemcdonald's or whatever, and not
not feel good about yourself,which you know you know
especially.
You know you know programmersand engineers.
You know they.
You know they can have a bad,you know lifestyle with their
food.
So it's like you know keepingthat stuff away and taking care
(22:40):
of your body.
You know like, just like how anathlete does or a professional
esports.
Like you know you eat bad stuff.
You're not gonna get your hyperfocus and your creativity and
problem solving skills to be ahundred percent.
You know you got to value itand you know if you're addicted
to that stuff, you can transferout.
It's just you know it takestime.
You know it takes time tocreate, you know, a huge network
(23:02):
.
It takes time to change yourhabits I, that's a lot.
Speaker 1 (23:08):
I like, uh, a lot of the tactics that you suggested,
except the ab one.
I wouldn't be able to do the abone because I'd have to get the
abs first, but hey there'sgoals there.
One thing is you were talkingabout practicing focus,
something that I believe, aj,we've talked about in an episode
or two before on the show,probably when talking about
(23:30):
study habits and tactics andthat kind of thing is the, and I
I think this is what it is, Iif I don't get it right, let me
know but the, the Pomodorotechnique, where you, you go
heads down for X amount of timeand then you give yourself
somewhat of a break.
Are strategies or tactics likethat applicable to folks with
(23:51):
ADHD?
Speaker 3 (23:53):
Yeah, so you brought up a good point.
So ADHD they work their bestwhen they're in sprints, so
you're blocking out time andthen there's urgency to get
something done.
That's why a lot of themprocrastinate to the deadline,
because that's when it's like,why that's where their brain
gets so much energy to justexecute.
(24:13):
So you need daily deadlines andshort sprints up to four hours
in a period to get things done.
And then you got to breakthings down into small tasks and
then track progress, like in avideo game.
And you know you see that barand you know a lot of video
games they do so much mundane,boring things or stuff that's
(24:35):
repetitive and there's novariety.
But they show progress and it'spredictable and it's they're
giving you a lot of positivefeedback great job, I did it,
nailed, keep the good work, etcetera.
So having even just listeningto that while doing those long
periods of work will help youfocus better because you're
(24:57):
getting, you know, satisfactionfrom it.
You know it's like, okay, it'sprobably not good to just drink,
you know, coca-cola for fourhours to get work done.
Yes, because you're gettingpositive dopamine from that.
But you know, just listening tomusic that's good for focus, or
just phrases will help keeppushing your focus along and
(25:19):
taking time to.
You know, put in that time topre-warm up your focus.
You know, just like you do ajogging and light sprinting
before you actually sprint, sothe muscles are ready to fire.
So, yeah, the Pomodoro is greatand improving on that.
You know some folks use, youknow, the visual timers to have
(25:40):
like a pie chart so they can seetime more.
Or use a sand timer, etc.
Or even, if they need be, usePeepo, like okay, we're going to
get a partner, we're going towork for 25 minutes, we're going
to share what we did and keepon going.
You know something like that.
Because HG people, they do getmore motivation and focus when
(26:04):
they're accountable with peopleeven more.
It's like having somebody.
The systems are super online.
They're great at helping otherpeople but not so much at
themselves a lot of times.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
I kind of like that idea of I don't know mirroring
somebody, right, like you worktogether in a room.
You see the example, oh,somebody is working.
I better work too as somebodythat works remotely.
I don't mind it, but sometimesit'd be nice to have a friend
around to work with every nowand then.
But I think that's some greatadvice, right, like if you're
(26:38):
alone at your desk, even in theoffice, maybe you book a
conference room or get to ashared space and work.
You know, work with somebodyfor a little bit, for those
short sprints.
And, yeah, the Pomodorotechnique.
I think it's like 25 minutes ofwork, five minutes of relaxing,
and I think you do like four ofthose and then you take like a
longer extended break.
I recall when I was doingmeditation, there's this idea or
(27:02):
thing called equanimity andit's like your brain is a muscle
and, just like any other musclein your body, you have to work
it to get it to.
You know, build strength and ifyou can, you know the idea of
meditation is this mentalcalmness clear, clear, your mind
don't think about anything.
If you, if thoughts start tobarge in there, you, you
recognize it and then you knowkind of like, push them away and
(27:24):
get back to that mentalcalmness again.
When I was starting mymeditation journey, I learned
about this idea of equanimityand as I started to build that
up and get better at meditation,I found I got better at working
for longer sprints because Iwas building my focus back.
Is that a technique or anythingthat you would recommend?
Speaker 3 (27:44):
Yeah, so mind, body, mindfulness, meditation, somatic
exercises, tai chi, qigong,yoga, all those things Well, and
even martial arts help withfocus and ADHD so much.
So, even just breathing inslowly and exhaling slowly,
(28:05):
you're bringing in dopamine tothis part of the brain.
As mentioned before, that's theprefrontal cortex, which is
related to focus and motivationand planning.
So if you want to focus betterand feel better, you make sure
that this part of the brain isgetting, you know, air and
dopamine throughout the day.
(28:25):
So having those periods duringyour day, you know, even a
couple breaths really changesthe game of you know, your
productivity, your communication, etc.
Especially in even non-ag folks.
Because you know we take on somuch stress, um, in life, and
(28:45):
you know, when stress, the firstthing the body shuts down so
much stress is that part of thebrain and it's like what did
they do at stores and onlineshopping and stuff?
It's like shut that part of thebrain down and just like take
your money and that's that'swhat they're doing.
And video games wants you toshut it down too, because video
games, you don't need this, theyalready have it out for you.
(29:06):
You just follow their thing andand you keep going.
So, so finding what works foryou of meditation, mindfulness,
breathing, etc.
And incorporate that, you know,throughout your day.
I mean, martial arts is one ofthe best things, though, because
you're getting the exercise andyou're getting the mind-body
(29:29):
awareness and the folks, whenthey're little the mom sent
there they do really well.
I mean, like I'mChinese-American and Jackie Chan
has ADHD.
His son was like, oh, my dadhas ADHD.
And I was like, oh, and thenlook at him.
Oh, his story, oh, he's atypical ADHD kid, but in Asia.
So Jackie Chan then was sent tomartial arts and that's where
(29:54):
he disciplined his mind and hisbody and then channeled into
being a creative and an actionstar in movies.
So when your mind and body isaligned, then you can, you know,
channel your energy and focusinto whatever you want, if
you're really curious andpassionate about it.
Cause, you know, maybe networkengineering, you know, isn't for
(30:16):
you If you you can't keep upthe certifications, or, you know
, losing a drive to learn orwhatever it's like, maybe
something else that you know itis what it is, or it's maybe
like your body's just notkeeping up anymore and you've
been abusing it, not to yourfault, you know, because a lot
of things are just pushed foryou to do bad things in this
society.
So it's like you know, fixingyour health and you know getting
(30:39):
a line of your principles andvalues is important.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
No, it's usually my fault.
Speaker 3 (30:45):
I'll take ownership for that.
Speaker 1 (30:47):
That's great.
So, henry, shifting gears alittle bit and let's talk about
support and treatment.
When do typically, or when doyou recommend, people start
seeking treatment or help fromassistance from a doctor?
Speaker 3 (31:08):
Yeah, so when their daily life is really affected by
their ADHD, so typically youknow, it's like, you know, when
their productivity is so bad andtheir home life, you know so
much things going on, it's likethen you know they can't
handle't handle it.
Usually when it's like they geta new job or a higher position,
or they just got married ortheir kids now just got a house,
(31:31):
and then it's like, you knowthis, the brain just opens up,
you know, because there's somuch stress, it's like you know,
I, I, that you know they don'tfeel themselves and there's like
you know an entire doctor andit's like, okay, you know, it's
like okay, you know, I tell thedoctor I was like okay, you know
, I was like okay, and I wassent to, you know, a
psychiatrist or a therapist andcheck what's going on.
So you know it's usually one ofthose crisis moments.
(31:54):
Or you know the new lifechanges.
You know people seek out, youknow, help, you know, for ADHD
or not, and it's like you know awhole bunch of people seek out
for life coaching.
It's like like you might haveadhd and you not know it and
it's like, yeah, you could usemedication or you could also use
a coach as well to help youknow manage that.
You know that you've beengetting by without.
(32:15):
You know.
You know developing some skills.
You know because you're smartand you're good at your job and
and you're like and you like it.
Um, it's just, you know there'ssome things that could be
improved, because you know wedon't want you to burn out,
because H-sheet folks,especially the successful ones,
you know they work too much andthen don't take care of
themselves and then they burnout.
Speaker 2 (32:41):
Let's talk about that for a minute.
So what does burnout like?
Let's define it Like if we'rejust so hyper-focused on stuff,
how can we tell that we'restarting to burn out?
Speaker 3 (32:53):
Yeah, so you don't feel motivated to do the things
you like to do during work andoutside of work.
Everything becomes more of achore.
You're more exhausted, yoursleep is worse.
Everything is kind of a chore.
You know you're more exhausted,you know your sleep is worse.
You know everything is kind oflike going out, and then you
(33:14):
know you might start feelingmore overwhelmed with things
that you know weren'toverwhelming before, or you know
, and things of that or theopposite, you know it's like
this doesn't do it for meanymore, and and then you know,
and then you know you starthaving more.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
You have anxiety, are you feeling depressed, etc and
what are some ways that thatfolks, can you know, come back
from burnout?
Do they just go on vacation fora little bit, and sometimes
that might be difficult to do.
How do you combat that?
How do you?
How do you recover?
Speaker 3 (33:50):
Yeah, so you know taking time to work on.
You know your health.
You know mindfulness,meditation.
You know going out into nature,improving your sleep routine,
eating.
You know foods that you knoware nourishing to you and you
know talking to people about.
(34:11):
You know your challenges andseeking mental health.
And you know.
And then you know, try torefresh your life with.
You know some hobbies you usedto do, or you know having
something you enjoy and beingthankful and writing down things
and looking at things.
Just re-exploring yourself too,can be very helpful to see.
(34:35):
It's like maybe you do have totake a vacation, maybe you do
need a new career or you wouldjust adjust how you do your job
or you get a different positionat your company.
So you know it could be manyways.
It's just like what's you so?
You know, as a coach, and I'mhere to find what works for you,
you know there's a thousandways to focus.
(34:56):
Are you going to use all ofthem?
No, so finding you know what's,you know what's going to work
for you at that time, and youknow, and sticking to it, you
know cause, especially Asianfolks, you know, sticking to
something can be tough.
You know it's.
(35:18):
You know, um, the beginning,you know, is hard, and you know,
and, and it takes time tochange.
Speaker 1 (35:21):
So let's, Henry, let's talk about what you do as
a life coach.
When someone reaches out to you, you have a new client.
How do you start those sessions?
How do you start thatrelationship to get them moving
in the right?
Speaker 3 (35:37):
direction, every call , which is, you know, discussing
.
You know if we're a good fitfor each other.
You know what's his challenges.
You know how I work, et cetera.
So you know, we then do theintake session where you know,
(35:57):
we discuss, you know, you knowhis current, more of his current
situation, details, because Igave him intake forms to find
out.
You know what's going on in hiswork life, his home life, you
know what AAC things he'sstruggling with, what does he
want to change, what stopped himfrom changing before?
How's his mindfulness, what arehis values, what are his
strengths, what is his passions,interests, et cetera.
(36:21):
And then you know, then thesession afterwards is then
discussing okay, we're going tomake plans for the goals you
outline, intake, you know ACfriendly goals.
I mean, we don't want to beprofessionistic with the goals
but we do want to, of course,make it.
You know the smart, typicalsmart goals, but you know some
(36:42):
more flexibility because you'reyou have ADHD, we just want
progress.
You know it's like, because youhave ADHD, we just want
progress.
You know it's like in videogame.
It's like you don't think about, oh, that boss is level 100.
It's like you don't think aboutyes, it's like you're going to
show who's boss later.
But you know you don't think somuch about that.
You think about how are yougoing to get there and that you
take time every day to do thatand set up the system to do that
(37:03):
.
So day to do that and set upthe system to do that.
So say you know you want to havean organized room as your go,
for example, it's like, okay,what are the little things we're
going to do right in thebeginning to help decrease that
it gets messy?
You know what are you going tobuy, et cetera.
And then like how are you goingto keep maintaining it and when
are you going to schedule atime to clean it, et cetera.
(37:24):
So you know every session afterthe initial, it's like okay, if
there's three goes, there'sthree sessions to start working
on those goes.
Like you know putting thingsinto action.
You know quick, actionablesteps.
It's like okay, distractionskind of start blocking them and
setting up time for you to havethose distractions when you have
(37:45):
distraction time, not whenyou're working time.
And yeah, Then afterwards isadding more stuff to that stuff
or other stuff that affectstheir ADHD and their life to
help them keep going.
So it's all about little things.
Every week it's like, okay, whatdo you want to work on?
Okay, let's see what are yourissues.
(38:06):
Okay, can we create solutionsthat work for you?
How can you use your strengthand problem solving to fix this
issue?
And it's like, oh wait, you didthis before.
It's like, could you reapply itand remember to do it more
often?
So I mean a good portion, I meanlike 80% of solutions.
You kind of already have itthrough talking and questions to
(38:33):
get you the solution and thenyou try to keep it that way
until it doesn't work anymoreand we keep changing it up.
But we want to make sure it'slike it works for you, because
there's so many solutions,because the books are just all
general solutions.
They're not you, they don'tunderstand your life, your
preferences, your personality.
So, as a coach, it's like, okay,you know, 80% it's you, 20%
(38:56):
it's yeah, maybe there's sometools that work really well with
for you versus other tools andyou like that thing more.
So you got to work with you 80%, and then 20% is everything
else and it just, you know, keeppracticing those things, cause
you know you got so many, youknow you got, you've got anxiety
, depression or negativethoughts and self-sabotaging,
(39:20):
and there's a lot of stuff towork on to get you to be like
okay, adhd is actually okay,it's actually a wonderful thing.
That's why you like networkengineering.
It's just when you're nothealthy in your mind and body,
then you're not going to beyourself.
And having a support systemwhether it's a company, your
(39:44):
house or if you live in Canadaand it's so cold and that makes
you miserable it's like I meanthat's another it's a personal
shot, henry.
It's like I mean that's apersonal shot Henry, then that's
also another challenge too.
Speaker 2 (40:12):
It's like, ok, you got to get light therapy more
often when you live in the Northor you know, find ways to be
more social and not be in thehouse, and find activities you
enjoy once again, or somethingnew that will, you know, make
you more you.
That's all great, great advice.
Henry, I want to ask you thisbefore we sign off, and I
probably should have asked youthis earlier when you were going
kind of through your journey,at what point did you kind of
realize like, hey, I can helppeople and kind of run with that
?
Speaker 3 (40:33):
Yeah, so when I was seeing an HD coach myself, but I
kind of brushed it off in thebeginning but then I wasn't
thinking too much of it BecauseI made a mistake and thought
everyone with HD is like thepeople on Reddit and Reddit is
like if you go on Reddit, adhd,it's like that's like it's a
(40:55):
doomsday adhd, it's like it'slike the worst thing in the
world.
So it's like don't, don't go onthat, because it's really like,
you know, like a heart attack,that subreddit so.
But it's like when you, when,when, you know, when, I think
about, yeah, I could be apsychologist, I like problem
(41:15):
solving, I like helping people,or a researcher or entrepreneur,
it's like, you know, an ADHDcoach kind of does a bunch of
things and also kind of like aconsultant, which a lot of IT
consultants or consultants areADHD, because there's like I got
a client, he has a problem, Ifocus for hours.
New client Next day, focus forhours Next day.
(41:35):
I focus for hours.
New client next day, focus forhours next day, you know.
So you know it's like, okay,yeah, I can do that.
You know, and you know a lot ofpsychiatrists and a good portion
of therapists have ADHD,ironically too.
So you know it's like, okay,yeah, I can, I can be a coach
and, and you know, help helppeople across the world and you
know, you know, make the worldeven a better place and more
(41:58):
funner place, because hd peopleare fun and and and interesting
folks and, you know, and fillinga gap in the void and most
coaches don't have adhd and um,I mean that I mean 80 most ac
coaches don't have ADHD.
They're kind of like the momswho have ADHD children or
(42:19):
husbands.
So that also fills another gap.
Having another person whounderstands you and then giving
them my for helping people.
And you know it's a greatfeeling to help people, you know
, because a lot of things we dois like it's for other people or
(42:40):
we make things for other people.
So you know, people who aremost satisfied, high
satisfaction in life is becausethey help other people and they
see the benefit of what they do,you know, with their words or
their actions and their productand, you know, gives them a good
feeling.
So that's why I became a coachour live stream.
Speaker 2 (43:16):
Is a life coach kind of the same thing as a
psychologist, or is it reallysomething different?
And if somebody is looking fora life coach, what are some of
the qualifications that folksshould look for?
If someone is just saying ohhey, I'm a life coach, but maybe
they don't have anyqualifications or maybe they
have the wrong qualifications,what are some things that folks
can look for, as they're maybelooking for some help?
Speaker 3 (43:33):
Yeah, so a psychologist.
They have training in mentalhealth.
They're focused on diagnosis ofanxiety, depression and other
things and they're focused onhealing your past with family
and other things.
And that's their focus and theyhave all these techniques and
(43:56):
things.
And that's, you know, theirfocus.
And they have all thesetechniques and things.
And you know they get licensingCoaches.
On the other hand, they don'thave to have anything and
they're more focused onsolutions for your future.
So you know, think about youknow your future as like a wall.
You want to go over that wall,but then you know you might be
dealing with anxiety and stuff.
(44:17):
You're not even thinking aboutthe wall.
That's where you go see atherapist, but if you want to
climb that wall, you see a coach.
So you know, think of it thatway and that, okay, there are
schools for coaching, except youknow some of them are not, you
know, accredited by anything.
And a good portion of them areaccredited by the ICF, which is
(44:39):
the International CoachingFederation, which kind of be
like the APA, which is theAmerican Psychological
Association, does forpsychologists, the ICF does for
coaching and there's a few othersmaller ones.
So, finding a coach who studiedat a school like that and, if
(44:59):
need be, study other things inwhatever you're seeking help for
.
And at the end of the day, yes,tony Robbins didn't study at
any school and he gets paid10,000, whatever an hour,
whatever it is, and he has paid10,000, whatever, uh, an hour or
whatever it is.
And you know he has helped alot of people.
So of course you know if you gettoo bogged down that um, then
(45:22):
then of course sometimes it'snot always that, but you know
it's just, it's just a rule ofthumb.
So you know why MMV.
You know with that.
And so you know the life coach.
You know we're we're not goingto have any mental health
techniques and stuff, but a lotof them have.
They could be health coaches ormindfulness, so they might
(45:45):
specialize in something.
So in general life coaches,they just have different aspects
of life, how to createsolutions to overcome it.
But usually it's like if youhave more than like moderate to
high, like anxiety, depression,other stuff that's getting in
the way of your life, thenyou're probably not ready for a
(46:05):
life coach.
You know you climbing the wallis going to be even more
difficult.
So you should see a therapistversus a life coach.
Besides, some folks have reallybad sleep and breathing
challenges.
So working on that would wouldhelp you be more ready for life
coaching, cause some of thataffects your mental health.
A lot of it affects your mentalhealth.
(46:25):
Um, you know, if you you knowyou probably have family members
um one or so, you know withlike sleep apnea, it's like if
they don't have that CPAPmachine they feel so bad after
they wake up and you're going tobe more ADHD if you do so, and
it's like you're going to begrouchy, you can't focus, you
really need the caffeine evenmore than other people, etc.
Speaker 2 (46:50):
Yeah, and, like you said, if you were diagnosed or
maybe you feel like you'rehaving some struggles later on
in life, you might not need amental health professional or
medications.
You just need some tools, and alife coach can help kind of
assess where you're at andprovide you with those tools to
help you get over that wall.
I love the analogy, henry.
This has been a real funconversation.
(47:11):
If people want to learn moreabout you and some of these
techniques and stuff that yourecommended, where can they go
to learn more?
Speaker 3 (47:18):
Yeah, so you know.
You see my name over here.
You can type inCoachHenryLambcom to reach out
and you know, ask any questions.
And you know, get help and gethelp if you're looking for help
in the future.
I'm working on a book Well,it's a short guide and I'm
(47:39):
working on a group coachingprogram to help folks out and
one day courses.
I mean, if you, of course,don't remember that, you could
just type in ADHD coaching nearme.
If that, remember.
I mean it's easier, since Iwanted to change my name.
It'd be funny if I changed myname to something that was more
memorable.
But so, yeah, so you know,embrace your strengths.
(48:03):
You know seek support.
You know, tailored to yourneeds, because no one else is
going to replace you.
And you know you can beextraordinary in whatever you're
curious or passionate about.
And hey, remember, if you eversee a network engineer running
around looking for theirmisplaced laptop while holding
it in their hand, just know theymight be one of us too with
(48:25):
ADHD.
Speaker 1 (48:26):
They'd be missing the console cable too, though yes,
Everybody's always missing those.
Speaker 2 (48:31):
Yes, I love it.
I love it, henry.
Thank you so much.
I will put those links in ourshow notes so you can find those
nice and easy, henry, butbefore we sign off, is there
anything that we should haveasked you that we didn't?
No, awesome, yeah, I think wedid great.
(48:53):
We covered the topic prettythoroughly.
This has been very informative.
Thank you so much, henry, forjoining us and we'll see you
next time on another episode ofthe Art of Network Engineering
podcast.
Hey everyone, this is AJ.
If you like what you heardtoday, then make sure you
subscribe to our podcast andyour favorite podcatcher.
Smash that bell icon to getnotified of all of our future
episodes.
Also, follow us on Twitter andInstagram.
(49:16):
We are at Art of NetEng, that'sArt of N-E-T-E-N-G.
You can also find us on the webat artofnetworkengineeringcom,
where we post all of our shownotes.
You can read blog articles fromthe co-hosts and guests and
also a lot more news and infofrom the networking world.
Thanks for listening.
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