The Clopen Effect

The Clopen Effect

Welcome to The Clopen Effect, a Funny Retail Podcast! Join us every week as we share our lives working in retail. Our lineup features fantastic guests, including local business owners, seasoned retail professionals, and the occasional surprise musician and artist. We're Basically Famous®!

Episodes

August 8, 2025 60 mins

In this episode, we chat the world of bread and the math behind it (sort of), with our special guest, Jason!

  • Jason 'drives' us through his bread delivery route, explaining how the numbers, store stops, and fresh bread logistics all come together.
  • Meredith tries her best to follow along, but admits… she still doesn’t really understand how it works. (Bread routes are complicated, okay?)
  • We take a fun detour ...
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July 27, 2025 39 mins

Guests: Mama Brianna & Baby Daisy 🌼

This week, we welcome the sweetest guests, Mama Brianna and her 9-month-old daughter, Daisy! We explore the origin of the name Daisy, its meaning (“day’s eye”), and why it's the perfect fit for such a bright little soul.

We also give a shoutout to Dented Gate Flower Garden in Woodstock, IL, a local gem filled with natural charm.

Then, we slightly dive into the growing w...

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July 19, 2025 42 mins

We ket AI write this recap, Lol:

In this laugh-out-loud episode of The Clopen Effect: A Funny Retail Podcast, Cass shares a wild story about a customer who stood directly in her way — and refused to budge. We break down the awkwardness, the tension, and the hilarity that happens when retail workers are just trying to do their job… and shoppers are just trying to pretend they don’t see you.

Then, we dive into 20ish different...

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July 12, 2025 68 mins

She’s back! In Part 3 of our Secret Squirrel series, our favorite AP expert returns to talk about the people who take a chance at stealing and how often they get caught. We explore the quick decisions, bold moves, and bizarre attempts that happen every day in retail. We also play the '"Have You Ever?" game for some fast and fun AP confessions. Be sure to stick around until the end when Secret Squirrel shares one of her most unforge...

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Cancer is not funny. Let’s be clear about that. But sometimes the situations we find ourselves in as retail workers leave us so stunned, all we can do is laugh or cry.

In this episode, Cassandra shares one of those moments. A customer casually dropped a very personal and medically graphic detail mid-conversation, leaving her wondering, “What do I even say to that?”

We unpack why this happens, why customers share so much with retail w...

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June 22, 2025 42 mins

Cassandra survives a sizzling Vegas heatwave and finally sees her first Elvis impersonator. Meanwhile, Meredith has a moment: she thought she saw a woman with no arms… but it was just a cold-shoulder shirt. Laugh with us this week! It's a good one!

All The Clopen Links:

https://linktr.ee/theclopeneffect

$2/month keeps us recording and bringing you all the laughs!

https://the-clopen-effect.captivate.fm/support

👕 Buy Our Cool Merch:

...

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June 11, 2025 42 mins

We chat about how much time we actually spend in our cars, from sitting at red lights and waiting to turn left, to crawling through construction traffic and waiting in drive-thru lines. We also talk about how those minutes add up to days each year. We discuss coffee creamers and how we plan to make millions real soon.

$2/month keeps us recording and bringing you all the laughs! PLUS, you receive early episode releases and fun gifts!

...

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June 4, 2025 36 mins

One of us now knows the danger of Dry Ice in a closed vehicle. Dry ice is solid carbon dioxide (CO₂). When it “melts,” it doesn’t become a liquid; it sublimates directly into a gas. That means it turns into carbon dioxide gas, which displaces oxygen in the air.

All The Clopen Links:

https://linktr.ee/theclopeneffect

$2/month keeps us recording and bringing you all the laughs!

https://the-clopen-effect.captivate.fm/suppor...

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What the heck is a WigglyBush!? We dug into America’s $176B landscaping obsession, wild HOA rules (no red mulch?!), and Cass’s yard glow-up thanks to Johnny. From mulch math to HOA drama, we laughed, learned, and maybe judged a lawn or two. Cass even aced the landscaping quiz, and Meredith learned about helicopter seeds. 🌱🎙️

All The Clopen Links:

https://linktr.ee/theclopeneffect

$2/month keeps us recording and bringing you all the ...

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May 24, 2025 37 mins

Can Cassandra guess all the grocery words before time runs out? PLUS, we dish on Costco culture and share some real talk about surgery recovery (yes, even the parts no one warns you about).

All The Clopen Links:

https://linktr.ee/theclopeneffect

$2/month keeps us recording and bringing you all the laughs!

https://the-clopen-effect.captivate.fm/support

👕 Buy Our Cool Merch:

https://www.zazzle.com/the_clopen_effect_t_shirt-2560380100...

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Happy 200th Episode to The Clopen Effect! Let's talk about mattresses.

Helpful Links:

All The Clopen Links: https://linktr.ee/theclopeneffect

Support the Show & Keep Us Recording: https://the-clopen-effect.captivate.fm/support

Buy Our Cool Merch: https://www.zazzle.com/the_clopen_effect_t_shirt-256038010043042814

💩 Check Out Our Other Podcast – Anxiety Makes Me Poop: Available wherever you listen!

🟢 30 Days to Building Re...

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May 3, 2025 95 mins

In this episode, Meredith and Julia talk pizza, pasta, and the Pope while traveling in Italy. Cassandra brings the sunny (and sometimes chaotic) energy of Florida. No deep dives here, just funny moments, quirky details, and the little differences we noticed between these two worlds. It’s all about enjoying the stories, sharing some smiles, and maybe leaving you craving a slice of pizza or a beach chair by the end.

🟢 30 Days to...

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April 4, 2025 58 mins

Kristen, owner of Aeon Gallery in Richmond, IL. joined us for laughs and a sneak peek into her Absinthe Lounge’s incredible upcoming vendor event, Spring Awakening, on April 27th! We chatted about her haunted photo book and the mysterious forces that knocked Moscow Mule mugs off the hooks. Good vibes, great art, and maybe a ghost or two - just how we like it. (Well, Cass is really only a fan of drinking spirits, not ...

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March 28, 2025 31 mins

Many choose Retail as a fast-paced, people-driven career for the energy, flexibility, and growth opportunities (sort of). It’s not always easy, but it builds strong skills, opens doors, and can even lead to big money at the top. We’ve also got some hilarious retail-themed movie quotes and titles to share because if you’ve worked retail, you know it’s basically a comedy show!

🟢 30 Days to Building Resilience in the Workplace:

ht...

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Ever wonder how credit cards went from old-school charge plates (cha-ching!) to the tap-to-pay magic we use today? In this episode, we take a fun look at the history of credit cards, their quirks, and how they’ve been hilariously portrayed in cartoons. From the first Diners Club card to Marge Simpson maxing out her limit, we cover the good, the bad, and the overdrawn. No finance degree is required...

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Let’s be honest: We’ve all been on some questionable virtual calls. From camera etiquette to knowing when (and when not) to unmute, we’re breaking down the dos and don’ts that make meetings smoother, more productive, and way less awkward. Whether you’re guilty of talking on mute, multitasking a little too hard, or enduring never-ending silences, this one’s for you!

Listen in, take notes (or don’t, we won’t k...

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March 4, 2025 47 mins

In this episode, we explore the history of cheese, including how it's been around for 7,000 years and how the largest cheese wheel ever made weighed 57,000 pounds! We also touched on fun cheese facts like the cheese cave in Missouri and the (gross) world of maggot cheese.

Plus, we celebrated 10 and 25-year wedding anniversaries!

All the Clopen links: https://linktr.ee/theclopeneffect

Suppor...

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February 28, 2025 46 mins

Here's a quick recap of the history of chocolate. And correct, Meredith never knows how to pronounce anything. It's all good:

Ancient Origins

Chocolate’s history dates back over 3,000 years to Mesoamerica (modern-day Mexico and Central America). The Olmecs (1500-400 BCE) were likely the first to cultivate cacao and use it for ceremonial drinks. Later, the Mayans and Aztecs adopted cacao, turning it into a bitter, s...

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February 14, 2025 44 mins

The five stages of grief... we mean, a retail work day. Also, pork shoulder butts, bad drivers and winter weather.

Building Resilience at Work - the certified course!

All the Clopen links: https://linktr.ee/theclopeneffect

Support us here to keep us recording: https://the-clopen-effect.captivate.fm/support

Buy merch here because it's cool: https://www.zazzle.com/the_clopen_effect_t_shirt-256038010043042814

All material, unless otherwise...

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February 9, 2025 51 mins

Let's talk third shift! We’re talking about the realities of overnight work with Hannah - she knows the ins and outs of the night shift grind. Download this episode for insights, a fun chat, and a quiz about living the late-night schedule!

#ThirdShift #NightShiftLife #AClopenEffect #podcast

Building Resilience in the workplace - new course from Meredith! Use code YOUR30DAYJOURNEY to save money!

All the Clopen links: https://linktr.ee/...

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