The Generous Husband Daily Rant

On Tuesday, I said your wife’s needs are valid, even though they’re different.  What about her sexual needs? Even if a woman is all about sex, it’s not as high on her list as is the case for most men. Usually, sex doesn’t make a woman feel loved. Rather, she wants sex because she feels […]

The post Redefining Sex So It’s Easier And Better for Both of You first appeared on The Generous Husband.

Today, I want to impress on you that while your wife’s needs are different from your needs, they are just as valid. When I say needs, I mean what she needs from you to feel loved and cared for. You do want her to feel loved and cared for, don’t you? We tend to dismiss […]

The post Different, Possibly Confusing, But Totally Valid first appeared on The Generous Husband.

As this is my last week of posts on this blog, I want to hit a few important concepts before I move on. For the last nine years, most of my Monday posts have been simple, easy to do things to make your marriage better. Small things can make a real difference, and a steady […]

The post The Lasting Impact of Small Acts of Love in Marriage first appeared on The Generous Husband.

At the start of this year, I suggested that you Honour Your Wife by Letting Go of Sexual Preferences. I said if there were a couple of things you wanted that she keeps rejecting, you should stop asking for those. I proposed your wife is more important than those sex acts. Then someone asked, “What […]

The post Navigating Sexual Boundaries with Love and Patience first appeared on The Generous Husband.

I trust God will understand. I’m not so sure about the neighbors. ~ Papa to Yentl It’s been over forty years since I saw the movie, but I still remember this line clearly. Yentl’s father teaches the Talmud to the boys in his small Polish town. At that time, Judaism forbade teaching the Talmud to […]

The post Freedom in Marriage: God vs. What Others Think first appeared on The Generous Husband.

I’ve come to the conclusion that there is one single cause for all divorces and unhappy marriages: We fail to do what we should because of selfishness. We do things we should not because of selfishness. We withhold grace and forgiveness because of selfishness. We may blame what we do wrong on our wife’s selfishness. […]

The post The Root of All Marital Strife and the Path to Healing first appeared on The Generous Husband.

Valentine’s is over. But the need for your wife to know you love her is not. This week, buy her flowers or candy. Send her a loving text. Take her out for the evening, or serve her breakfast in bed. Do this no matter what you did or did not do for Valentine’s. It means […]

The post Beyond Valentine’s: Showing Your Wife Love Year-Round first appeared on The Generous Husband.

The other day, I talked about the need to let go and move on, and what we can miss when we fail to do that. Today I want to apply that to sex. No, I am not suggesting you need to let go of sex! Far from it. We generally hold on to what works. […]

The post Evolving Intimacy: Embracing Change in Your Marriage Bed first appeared on The Generous Husband.

Have you ever tried the “ask for sex every night” approach, figuring the more often you ask, the more often she will say yes? Or, maybe you have no idea why she says yes or no, so you figure you should ask all the time so you don’t miss an occasion when she might say […]

The post FF: Decoding Her Desire: Stop Shooting Blind first appeared on The Generous Husband.

Some folks worry about what’s average, and if they measure up. Here’s the thing: the average person is overweight and not getting nearly enough exercise. The average Christian is falling short of what Jesus called us to do. The average number of lifetime sexual partners in the US is 10.7. And the average couple is […]

The post Beyond Average: God’s Plan for Your Marriage first appeared on The Generous Husband.

The end of this month, I will stop doing The Generous Husband blog, after almost 24 years. I know it’s time, but I’ve still had a hard time letting go and moving on. I made plans for the next thing, but didn’t initially feel much passion for it. Slowly I made peace with the change, […]

The post Letting Go and Moving on… To Something Better! first appeared on The Generous Husband.

Here it comes again, guys, that day known as Valentine’s Day. Dislike it, hate it, or fear it, it’s a fact of life. You can’t run from it, and ignoring it is not a good plan. I know some of you fear you can’t get it right, and some of you know from experience that […]

The post Valentine’s Day: Navigating Love and Expectation first appeared on The Generous Husband.

Recently, my dear wife said to me, “Thank you for thinking about lube and vibrators.” I recall that when I first suggested a “sex toy” she was hesitant. And that’s putting it kindly. I get it, we were taught that good people don’t use such things. We also got the message that using them would […]

The post Enhancing Sexual Intimacy: A Pastor Talks “Sex Tools” first appeared on The Generous Husband.

My wife puts up with me. It’s not that I am a horrible person, but I know I can be a challenge. I see life as an adventure looking for a place to happen, and I feel obligated to make room for as much adventure as possible. In addition, I figure if something is worth […]

The post Embracing the Whole Package, Quirks and All first appeared on The Generous Husband.

Change is difficult, and it can be costly. It takes a commitment of time and energy. If you’re not ready to make that commitment, seeking help is a waste of time and money. If you’re too busy to give it the time it will take, that’s also a waste. You also have to be in […]

The post Lessons from Coaching: The Importance of Readiness first appeared on The Generous Husband.

As Lori and I have been doing coaching, the importance of being good-willed has been driven home to me. If both spouses are good-willed, the couple will almost certainly move towards a better marriage with just a bit of help. If either one is not good-willed, the chances of success are very low. Merriam-Webster defines […]

The post Lessons from Coaching: The Power of Good Will in Marriage first appeared on The Generous Husband.

On Mondays, I try to offer something small and simple you can do for your marriage.  Small can be big, if you stick to it. And a number of small things you keep doing can, over time, be huge. It’s like the straw that broke the camel’s back, but with a good result. All too […]

The post Build a Stronger Marriage One Little Thing at a Time first appeared on The Generous Husband.

On Thursday, I talked about taking a holistic approach to marriage. I said we ask coaching couples things well beyond the issue they bring to the table, and that this is especially true when the presented issue is sexual.  It’s rare to get a couple with big sexual issues who don’t have non-sexual issues too. […]

The post Your Marriage’s Sexual Issues May Not Be About Sex first appeared on The Generous Husband.