The Greatest Movie Ever Made

David's out this week, so Justus has tagged in past guest Audrey Young to fill the host's seat and she brought some thrills and chills with her in the form of the 2007 vampire flick 30 Days of Night! Without David there's 80% less film knowledge and 200% more ADHD rambling, but Justus and Audrey still manage to get into the nitty gritty of this frozen gorefest. Hear them swoon over how dreamy Josh Hartnett is and puzzle over why Be...

Oh no! That dastardly Thing is creeping around another Antarctic outpost, and this time he’s a CGI abomination! Tune in to hear the highs and many, many lows of this studio-mutilated prequel to Carpenter’s most legendary horror film. 

The Thing (2011) is directed by Matthijs van Heijningen Jr. and stars Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Joel Edgerton, Ulrich Thomsen, Eric Christian Olsen, and Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje

Music: &...

Rob Zombie makes his second appearance on the show as the boys dig through the ditches of his Hellbilly Deluxified take on Michael Myers. For the first time, explore the difficult upbringing that turned a sweet little boy into a killer in a Shatner mask. Can Zombie and his cast of horror character actors create a unique Halloween film worthy of the franchise’s legacy or is he just another Carpenter Copycat?

Halloween (2007) is...

Join the boys as they snuggle up with Ethan Hawke, Larry Fishburne, and the hot chick from The Sopranos for a snowy siege in this remake of John Carpenter’s action classic. Also, John Leguizamo makes a startling reappearance and the boys still haven’t gotten over The Pest. Grab a smoke, hunker down, and take aim at this new episode!

Assault on Precinct 13 (2005) is directed by Jean Francois Richet and stars Ethan Hawke, ...

David has taken the reins of the podcast for the month and is subjecting Justus to remakes of John Carpenter classics. We’re kicking things off with The Fog, a spooky seaside tale given a mid-2000s update in all the wrong ways. The Horror Master is taking a break this month and cashing checks. It’s Carpenter Copycats!

The Fog (2005) is directed by Rupert Wainwright and stars Tom Welling, Maggie Grace, Selma Blair, DeRay ...

It’s 4th of July, dipshits! Justus and David are celebrating all the things that make America the greatest country in the world: barbecues, ballgames, kicking the British in the nuts 250 years ago, and Nicolas goddamn Cage. Wrap your lips around a hot dog and join the boys for a whitewashed, sanitized, Disney friendly adventure through American history. Just ignore all the slavery and genocide committed by the Founding Father...

David and Justus are sucking in their guts and smoothing out their wrinkles this week as they dive into the zany horror-comedy cult classic DEATH BECOMES HER! The star-studded cast and wacky body horror is sure to delight the boys, but will they drink the potion that gives this flick eternal life in the hallowed halls of the TGMEM canon? Or will Zemeckis's first film on the podcast take a header down a long flight of stairs? Most i...

HOO-AH! Al Pacino makes his illustrious debut on The Greatest Movie Ever Made this week in the color-drenched comic book noir DICK TRACY! Warren Beatty's ego knows no bounds as he unleashes a profoundly weird creative vision, complete with a bunch of character actors caked in prosthetics and a smokin' hot Madonna. Will David and Justus hop on the Beatty train and delight in this phantasmagoric thrill ride? Or does the "more is more...

This is a free preview of the full episode, which can be found on our Bandcamp page here! You can pay-what-you-wish to download the episode there!

David and Justus are trying out something a little different with their first-ever installment of a potentially recurring side show: TV Party! The inaugural episode finds them unraveling the tangled web of David Lynch's surreal experimental masterpiece Twin Peaks: The Return. Pour some da...

With the horrors of The Pest safely in the rear view, Justus and David turn their eyes toward the cosmos. The notorious Roland Emmerich has cooked up some wacky sci-fi hijinks with ancient aliens and space Egyptians, and all this will surely make for a better movie than what the boys had to endure last week. Drink seven beers, practice your bad Ray Winstone impression for some reason, and join Kurt Russell and James Spader to disco...

For some unknowable reason, David picked The Pest this week. Hear him regret this decision on-mic and be berated by Justus for forcing this vile undertaking upon the podcast. It's tough to stay on-topic for a movie that your memory is actively attempting to repress as a trauma response, so they take some detours into anecdotes about past drug experiences, and (of course) the criminal history of one Jeffrey Jones. Does this sound li...

It’s high time that the boys talk about the Coen brothers and they’ve decided to remedy that by discussing their first impressions of Barton Fink. Stay tuned for all the John Turturro action you crave. It’s time to get your Fink on!

Barton Fink (1991) is directed by Joel Coen and stars John Turturro, John Goodman, Judy Davis, Michael Lerner, and John Mahoney 

Music: “Fractals” by Kyle Casey and Whit...

Justus and David have been studying the blade and are discussing Jim Jarmusch’s ultra-cool movie with an ultra-cool title. Stay tuned for facts about bears, more bad Werner Herzog voice, and thoughts about this genre-defying flick. Wu-Tang forever!

Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai (1999) is directed by Jim Jarmusch and stars Forest Whitaker, John Tormey, Cliff Gorman, Henry Silva, and Issach de Bankolé

Music: “Fractals&r...

Justus has decreed that the podcast will cover one Muppet movie per year, so it is once again time to dive into Jim Henson’s world of whimsy and felt puppets. This time, the boys are talking about the cultural moment that was and is The Muppet Movie, the first big screen adventure of Kermit and his friends. So hit play on your pod catcher and find the rainbow connection with TGMEM!

The Muppet Movie (1979) is directed by James ...

In space, no one can hear you podcast, and the boys are making their yearly return to the Alien franchise to discuss this divisive third installment. Join them in the dingy hallways of Fury 161, where the only thing scarier than poorly composited xenomorph effects is evil 20th Century Fox producers. Plus, David and Justus get called in for an unexpected meeting. All this and more cosmic horrors await!

Alien 3 (1992) is directed by D...

So the director of The Descent totally shit the bed with his Hellboy remake, probably pissed off some producer, and has spent the last few years making direct to streaming slop. And the boys are going to talk about one of those! Neil Marshall returns to the podcast with a sexy wife/leading lady in tow and a bottom of the barrel Aliens rip off for the ages!

The Lair (2022) is directed by Neil Marshall and stars Charlotte Kirk, Jonath...

Rutger Hauer makes his long overdue return to the show, and the boys couldn’t be happier to once again be Slutgers for Rutger. Watch him slay watermelons and gross fat guys, and hear David get unreasonably angry about the child performance in this episode of The Greatest Movie Ever Made

Blind Fury (1989) is directed by Phillip Noyce and stars Rutger Hauer, Terry O’Quinn, Brandon Cooper, Charles Cooper, and Noble Willingh...

On the trail we blaze! With March Sadness in the rearview, the boys tackle a certified David Scandura Childhood Classic this week with THE ROAD TO EL DORADO. Is childhood nostalgia enough to overcome the rampant racism in this film? More importantly, are these animated horses hot??? Tune in to find out this week on The Greatest Movie Ever Made!

The Road to El Dorado (2000) is directed by directed by Eric "Bibo" Bergeron and Don Paul...

Oof, gang. March Sadness is going out with a bang with the critically-acclaimed family drama Aftersun. Tune in to hear David and Justus dissect the many small cruelties of being a man in his 30s. Plus: both of our hosts trauma dump about memories from childhood and beyond. Also, there's a surprisingly lengthy Cum Town riff? All this and more on this week's episode of The Greatest Movie Ever Made!

Aftersun(2022) is directed by Charlo...