What About Your Friends

Send us a text

Ever wondered why men and women handle friendships so differently? We break it down by discussing how men often bond over shared interests and compartmentalize their issues, while women seek emotional support. The conversation extends to work-life balance in relationships, highlighting the importance of compartmentalizing work and home life to reduce stress and misunderstandings. Listen to our personal anecdotes for a humorous yet insightful look at navigating these daily challenges.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Heavyweight Podcast.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
The message behind saying the title of the
Heavyweight Podcast is to beable to say that we can weigh in
on some heavy shit.
What we're talking about isimportant from every aspect of
it.
It's a heavy weight.
It's not just about physicalweight, but the weight of things
that can weigh our minds.
So I think it's dope that wecan have this conversation.
So I think it's dope that wecan have this conversation.

(00:25):
What's good?
This is episode 161 of theHeavyweight Podcast.
Yeah, yeah, I am yourantisocial host, Studda McFly
back again with this lady andthese three guys.
Rather, one of these guys isour special guest.
So how do I phrase that this?

Speaker 3 (00:45):
lady, these two guys and a special guest.
So how do I phrase that?
This lady, these two guys and aspecial guest?

Speaker 2 (00:49):
Thank you See the assist, not her.
With her radio voice I threw itoff the backboard.
That's Des Griffin right there.

Speaker 4 (00:58):
This lady.
Lob City these two guys andtheir special guest Go ahead and
state your name for thebeautiful people out.

Speaker 2 (01:06):
Shia, this lady, these two guys and a special
guest.
Go ahead and state your namefor the beautiful people out
here.

Speaker 1 (01:10):
The big tooth gap, captain the bandit.
I'll be the big tooth gapbandit, yeah, gap bandit.
I like that.

Speaker 4 (01:22):
It's the boy Molito.

Speaker 2 (01:23):
He just came up with that one.

Speaker 4 (01:24):
Yeah, he did.
He just came up with that one.
Yeah, he did, hold on.

Speaker 1 (01:27):
That's pretty dope he did.
I'm going to whistle throughthe gap.

Speaker 2 (01:31):
He freaks out.

Speaker 1 (01:36):
You said, he said Mom .

Speaker 5 (01:37):
Oh, he did Okay.

Speaker 4 (01:40):
Your turn.
Introduce yourself, sir.

Speaker 5 (01:41):
Dukes from the South.

Speaker 3 (01:44):
And I'm your girl.
Des the Diva who.
Des the Diva who.

Speaker 2 (01:49):
You heard me, that's Des Griffin right there.

Speaker 3 (01:51):
I'm Des the motherfucking Diva.

Speaker 1 (01:54):
How were your weeks Off the backboard.
I'm good Getting closer to 4-0.
So vacation is coming yeah.

Speaker 4 (02:04):
All right you ready.

Speaker 1 (02:06):
The days are taking long, I would rather.

Speaker 4 (02:11):
They always do when they close.
Yeah, that's it.

Speaker 1 (02:16):
Yeah, I mean what else?
I went to work and shit.
No money there, my week wasexpensive.
Oh yeah.
That's right Expensive.
Yeah, I know.

Speaker 3 (02:26):
I saw your pictures and your baby looks so happy she
was happy.

Speaker 4 (02:29):
We went not once, not twice, but three times.
Where'd you go?
I love that to the happiestplace on earth where costco?

Speaker 3 (02:36):
I'll be late in costco.
I'm gonna go like to who target.

Speaker 4 (02:40):
I saw a lot of miserable kids yeah, it was some
, it was some kids reallymiserable on the last day we
went with McFly.
It was some kids out there thathe was like.

Speaker 2 (02:50):
They was like man and the kids soldiered them through
that shit I got you.
You could tell they was like ohno, we paid for it, you fucking
you gonna enjoy this shit theypassed out.

Speaker 4 (03:00):
It was like I think I probably spent about $75 just
on water.

Speaker 1 (03:04):
So you got three waters?
Yeah, motherfucker, it was$9.95 a bottle.

Speaker 2 (03:09):
I said this is fucking crazy.

Speaker 3 (03:10):
And the cold bar was For a traditional size bottle.

Speaker 4 (03:13):
The smart water.
Yeah, for the smart water.
So we were filling up the hydroflask before we would drink
that before we get to the nextrestaurant.
So it was hot.

Speaker 5 (03:22):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (03:25):
It was hot, it was hot, it was hot.
Yeah, that's my week Expensive.

Speaker 1 (03:29):
Don't say that on air .

Speaker 3 (03:30):
Right, they might hear that.
They might hear it, hear it.

Speaker 4 (03:34):
The thoughts of you, the McFlyers.
Those are the McFlyers.
Yeah, I love Disney.

Speaker 3 (03:40):
You see that they have a clause and if you have
like the Disney channel, andthey have like a clause and you
can't sue them for anythinganywhere.
Disney, we got to stop sayingtheir name.
Why do we keep saying theirname?
What a little mouse at.

Speaker 4 (03:56):
Let's just ask Duke, how was your week?
Man?

Speaker 5 (03:58):
It was cool.
Busy, that's what's up.
Busy.

Speaker 4 (04:02):
Busy good or busy bad ?

Speaker 5 (04:04):
It's always busy.

Speaker 2 (04:04):
Good, okay, that's what's up Just trying to get a
lot done trying to conquer theworld.
So one day at a time, you know,All right that fucks with it
Des.

Speaker 3 (04:14):
I had a good week.
That's all I want to say howgood was it.
It was grand.

Speaker 4 (04:21):
Grand Nothing, Anything exciting.
I just been telling my grandmaand that was exciting for me.

Speaker 3 (04:28):
Did she cuss you out?
No, she didn't cuss me out, butshe's funny, so it's always a
joy to sit and talk with her,because she'll crack a joke here
and there, so I had a good timedoing that.

Speaker 2 (04:35):
Alright, that's what's up.

Speaker 4 (04:37):
Good McFly, are we.

Speaker 2 (04:40):
I can't say anything about the place.

Speaker 1 (04:42):
No, you can say it, just don't say the name.
We just know what's up.

Speaker 3 (04:44):
It's called the Little Mouse Place.

Speaker 1 (04:47):
The Little.

Speaker 2 (04:48):
Mouse House.
I went to a place, a specialplace.

Speaker 1 (04:53):
Where the flowers?

Speaker 2 (04:53):
grow Sure, I'll be back in an hour or so, I don't
know Some of them.
They were struggling, but Iwill say in the beginning the
kids had fun.

Speaker 1 (05:10):
And they got me for two lightsabers.

Speaker 4 (05:11):
You said one, he said two.

Speaker 2 (05:14):
I think it's kind of funny how one assisters the
other.
He's like hey, I was justbuying you one.

Speaker 4 (05:20):
He said that he was going to buy one.
Yeah, oh, yeah, that's what Isaid.
And then he was like two.
And then the kid said what plan?
Lau, yeah, lau.

Speaker 2 (05:30):
What's so fucking funny about this, right is?
I told Ava when we first gotinto the park.
She was like trying to likerandomly, dad, can we get that?
And I said, look, you got onegift that you're getting this
whole time, so choose wisely.
She's like all right, I'll wait.
So I remember last time andreashad asked for a lightsaber so I

(05:52):
was like I'm gonna get thislightsaber out of the way.
Cool, she comes with us so shesees a purple lightsaber now she
wants.
I said look, I told you beforeyou get one gift, that's it.
So you shoot me with thislightsaber.
She was like well, I got aniPad, so this lightsaber is
purple, so I like it, so I'mgoing to just go with it.
I said okay, and we're sittingthere at the register.

(06:14):
I looked at the dude.
I said hey, one more time.
Are you sure this is the gift?

Speaker 4 (06:19):
that you want.

Speaker 2 (06:25):
You're going to triple down at this point.
She goes.
Yeah, I said, okay, I'm goingto triple down at this point.
So after we go on the Piratesof the Caribbean with you and we
go eat, she sits there and shepouts.
She goes.
Dad, I just don't make theright decisions.
I said what are you talkingabout?
She goes.
I don't know if I should havegot the lightsaber.
I said, well, it's too late now.
We're not going back.

(06:46):
This is it.
This is fucking it.
What else does she want?
She wanted other shit that shekept seeing in the park.
She was like but I just made abad decision.
I said I guess but hey, this iswhat you got to live with, hold
on.

Speaker 4 (07:00):
I can do you one better.
Oh Lord, I can do you onebetter.
Oh Lord, I can do you onebetter.
So day one, she got a total offour items.
Because her grandkids boughther one, I bought her two things
.
Day two, she got another twoitems.
So day three, I said you're notgetting anything today.
She was like, and she was coolwith it, okay, yeah, I got cool

(07:21):
with it.
Okay, yeah, I got other stuff.
So you're not getting today.
Right, we go the whole part.
Right, park's about to close.
The wife wanted, um, this tianastuff, like a lounge fly bag,
some expensive shit that I'm madabout.
I walk all the way over there,buy the stuff.
Now, mind you, we buy the gate,I walk back to you know how far
that is.
So I walk back over there, Ibuy the stuff, walk back and I'm

(07:41):
trying to um, they're gettingthe ice cream.
So I said, phoenix, hold thebag.
Uh, hold this back so I can getmommy's ice cream.
She looks in the back and shegoes is this for me?
I said no, and she drops thebag on the ground, like like
this ain't my shit, just dropsthe bag and then she starts to
have a fit.
I once I didn't get nothing.

(08:01):
I said we had this discussionwhen we got here this morning
that you wasn't getting nothingtoday.
I said I bought you a big assthing of popcorn.
I bought you three churrostoday.
Three churros how?

Speaker 2 (08:16):
much those churros go for, we're not talking about
that.

Speaker 4 (08:20):
Three churros today.
I said you lived it up in adifferent way.
She was mad.

Speaker 1 (08:25):
She was mad, she was mad, she was mad.
The food don't count in thesouvenirs.

Speaker 3 (08:30):
Right, but she had gotten the souvenirs for two
days prior.
Kevin, she had a total of eightsouvenirs already you guys
talking from adult brain.

Speaker 5 (08:39):
Because she has a new day, you know.

Speaker 4 (08:44):
Shit For me the first day was the best day because
that's the day I spent the leastamount of money, because the
grandparents were there.

Speaker 1 (08:49):
I was like, oh, let grandma buy that.
She probably knew that.
She was like nah, you didn'tbuy those.
Uh-uh, well, I'm sorry, fellas,yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 (09:04):
And I say all that shit to say, no, I'm sorry
fellas.
Yeah.
And I say all that shit to sayI want passes.
I can be there all the time.
Yeah, passes would be waybetter, I don't need them.

Speaker 2 (09:10):
I don't need them.
I don't want them.

Speaker 4 (09:12):
I enjoy myself.

Speaker 2 (09:15):
You mean paying for lightning passes just to sit in
line?

Speaker 1 (09:18):
That shit is crap.
I'll tell you the secret.
But we can't do that on air.

Speaker 4 (09:21):
They canceled that.
Okay, but we can't do that onair because you're going to look
at us funny.
They canceled that.
What that secret you told?

Speaker 1 (09:24):
me.
No, they didn't Okay, we'lltalk about it later.

Speaker 2 (09:26):
It's the same, it's the same Watch.
Watch what I'm going to tellyou it's the same instance, it's
not a come up.

Speaker 4 (09:36):
You just get to cut the line.
Yeah, a little bit A little,because we had to go straight to
the front of a couple linesbecause she was in the scooter.

Speaker 1 (09:44):
Yeah, that's the same thing with the airport.
They taught us the trick Oneperson in the wheelchair and the
party goes to Fun fact.

Speaker 4 (09:57):
It's alright.

Speaker 2 (09:59):
Anywho, happy Mamba Day.
Happy Mamba Day.
Kevin's wearing his jersey.
I'm wearing some short bottoms.
I have this Mamba cup here Igot from Mo and his wife from
last year that has 824 on there.

Speaker 4 (10:16):
I forgot all about that.

Speaker 2 (10:19):
I'd just be buying random shit, so I so I fuck it.
I'm gonna say this right nowI'm turnt up, I'm irritated, but
I'm on mamba shit, so we'regonna have a mamba mentality
throughout this whole fuckingyeah, thank you that's good yeah

(10:40):
so let's get into the fuckingshenanigans.

Speaker 4 (10:45):
You got a nigga shenan one time you're going to
shenan again.

Speaker 2 (10:47):
These questions were curated by Des the Diva, also
known as Des Griffin.
Oh God Catched off thebackboard.

Speaker 4 (10:54):
Aka Des needs milk, no milk needed.

Speaker 3 (10:57):
No, you did nigga on the damn air.
I thought she was about to sayno, you fucking lying.

Speaker 1 (11:02):
Hey, no, you did not.
I thought she was about to sayon the dead home.
She's mad.
Yeah, on the dead home.

Speaker 2 (11:14):
So these questions are curated by Des the Diva aka
Des, griffin aka Nigga.

Speaker 4 (11:22):
I fucking Des needs milk.
I'll be there, it's called.

Speaker 1 (11:24):
AKA, ah, ah, ah, ah, nigga, I fucking.

Speaker 2 (11:26):
Dance needs milk.
Ah, me dance, it's called.
It's an episode.
What about your friends?
So what do you value most inyour friendship?

Speaker 4 (11:34):
Can we?
Can I call her the low calcium?
Oh?

Speaker 3 (11:37):
my Queen.
No, nigga, you can't, you can't.

Speaker 4 (11:41):
Dance is the low calcium queen.
I cannot, you can't.
There's the low calcium queen Icannot.
You can upgrade from diva toqueen.

Speaker 3 (11:49):
Oh God, Show your ass .

Speaker 1 (11:54):
Ask these motherfucking questions, so we
can go on to the next.
I'll go with honesty.
I think I like honesty the most.

Speaker 4 (12:00):
Wait, did we ask the question?
Yes, you two been sticking tobullshit to say about your damn
mouth.

Speaker 2 (12:06):
He said what do you value most in your friendships?

Speaker 1 (12:10):
Honesty, because you can work through a lot of shit
with honesty.
If you're just up front withshit Like, it's usually easier
to deal with shit.
I agree, no one else is.
I was going gonna ask realquick.

Speaker 2 (12:26):
So if you ask your friend if they need milk, oh
nigga, oh god, oh god isn't thatjust showing concern as a?

Speaker 4 (12:35):
friend, I would say, for me, I think, it would be two
things honesty and loyalty,because they don't always go
hand in hand, that's true.

Speaker 2 (12:44):
I fuck with that yeah , I guess.

Speaker 1 (12:48):
I just feel like I don't know, I feel like honesty.
If there was some shit that wasa chance to be disloyal, you're
gonna nip that in the budbefore you even get to that.

Speaker 4 (13:02):
That's how I look at it, but someone can only be
honest if you confront them withthe question.

Speaker 1 (13:08):
Some people just tell you that's what.

Speaker 4 (13:09):
I'm talking about Honesty, nigga.

Speaker 1 (13:11):
That's what I feel.

Speaker 4 (13:13):
I don't want to pull it out of you.
I'm not saying you're wrong.

Speaker 1 (13:16):
I'm not saying you're wrong.

Speaker 4 (13:17):
Welcome back Mo.

Speaker 1 (13:20):
Thank you.
We didn't have no arguments.
We thank you.

Speaker 4 (13:22):
we didn't have no argument, so we sure didn't but
y'all had nobody to confronty'all on your bullshit we almost
missed you you did, she did alittle bit.

Speaker 1 (13:34):
She said almost damn she did.

Speaker 4 (13:36):
I listened, I said she had nobody to talk.
Look at, look over andunderstood if they heard what
she just said, cause she besaying some wild shit.

Speaker 1 (13:49):
Paquito.

Speaker 3 (13:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (13:53):
What about you, Dukes ?

Speaker 5 (13:54):
Yeah, I say the same Loyalty, honesty, that's what's
up.
They go hand in hand, so Idon't know which one would be
more important, though, or, like, more crucial.

Speaker 4 (14:07):
I think loyalty would be more crucial, because that's
going to be tested, becausewhen it comes to honesty, that's
a character thing.
You know.
It don't take much to be honest.
If you're just truthful withyourself, loyalty gets tested.
You don't think that's part ofhonesty, though always, why not?

Speaker 1 (14:22):
I mean loyalty.
I feel like comes with honestydo though Always, why not?
Different subsection.
I mean loyalty, I feel likecomes with honesty.

Speaker 2 (14:26):
Do you guys have negative friends?

Speaker 1 (14:28):
I'm sure yeah.

Speaker 3 (14:29):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (14:29):
That are just negative-minded all the time
Just my child.

Speaker 4 (14:33):
Oh, oh, I thought you meant like negative towards me.

Speaker 2 (14:35):
Oh, oh no, I mean whatever.
Floats your boat, Find yourlost remote.
My child, she bullies me.
The baby, yeah, she's strongtoo.
You know I talk about bullying.

Speaker 3 (14:48):
A lark takes all my food.
Oh, he's so cute Look here.

Speaker 4 (14:51):
Hold on, see, now you're just triggering me, your
son.
I was holding him at Alice inWonderland and he slapped a shot
at me.
He got hands, he has hands andhe laughed.
I said look here, because youwon, I'm going to let this slide
.
Had you been four, we'd befighting.

(15:14):
Yeah, I'll get my mic.
Go ahead.
That just triggered me.
That just triggered me, so itwas quick too.

Speaker 1 (15:27):
You got hands loyal to them, hands you got hands,
you gotta have hands.

Speaker 3 (15:34):
Miss Diva, I think good communication, and I think
I'm saying that because I havedifferent outcomes with my male
friends than I do my femalefriends.
So I think when it I do myfemale friends, so I think when
it comes to my female friends Iwould say good communication and
maybe selflessness, becauseI've run into issues where with

(15:57):
my male friends everythingusually runs smooth, but with my
female friends they requiremore of me than I'm able to give
sometimes and then they don'tunderstand when I'm not able to
give it so you're triggering meagain.

Speaker 4 (16:14):
It reminded me of a uh, this guy I said, and I agree
, uh, it was actually was guys,a girl and she was saying that
male friendships are so surfacelevel because we understand,
like the harshness of life,right.
So like I'm not going to cometo Kevin or Andy or even Dukes,
right, with what's going on bad,we're going to talk about what

(16:35):
we have in common and it's goingto be a good interaction and
we're not going to discuss thebullshit because we understand
everybody got bullshit.
Meanwhile, women haveconversation relationships where
they're looking for support ofeach other.
So, like men, so like malefriendships, like we, we we get
with our friends to leave thebullshit behind.
Women get to go friendship.

(16:56):
They go to their friends todiscuss the bullshit they're
dealing with and then everybodyy'all sit in that shit where we
just be like man, fuck that,let's.

Speaker 3 (17:02):
Let's turn up, have a good time I absolutely agree
with you which is why I prefermy male friends over majority
not all, but majority of myfemale friends is their
relationship is easier tocultivate than it is with the
females I mean even in thestatement.

Speaker 2 (17:17):
It's like try to explain that yeah to to a
significant other about why itis you go to your male friends
about certain things.
That's still not understood.

Speaker 4 (17:28):
Because and even male friendships are easier to
cultivate.

Speaker 3 (17:31):
It is.

Speaker 4 (17:31):
It can be simple as like oh you a legged friend, I'm
a legged friend, shit let'stalk about now, because I have
friendships where I'm cool withthese people and when we get
there we talk about I can't tellyou.
I know people talk.
People on my street talk to me.
I don't know their name, but wetalk about the same thing.

Speaker 1 (17:47):
Yeah, I can't believe that's cause we're probably
better at compartmentalizingshit.
When you're like you in thisbox on me, like that's where it
stands.

Speaker 4 (17:56):
That's where you at, that's where you at that's where
name and what do you mean?

Speaker 2 (18:06):
like it's hard to explain to your spouse that
because, like, if I explain,because I've had this
conversation about like work,for example, so with work I tend
to keep my private life awayfrom my work life, because at
work it's not understood, oftenunderstood from your significant
other, that the problems goingon at home might necessarily be

(18:29):
a good thing, to kind of rightcome into work.
So I've had the conversationwhere I've explained when I
talked to maurice or any one ofour co-workers we're literally
trying to like not it'scompartmentalized to the point,
we're just trying to think abouthow we're getting through work,
the shit we're dealing with atwork, and we don't want to have

(18:50):
to deal with my stress like the,the stress that we have no
control of at home.
That's literally being broughtto us, thrown into our lap and
we're told or expected to dealwith it and it's like we have no
way of dealing with it.
We're at work, like we.
I'm far away from it, so I can't, I can't even help you, even if
I wanted to where I'veexplained it and it's still not

(19:13):
being understood, and evenreceive some sort of resentment
or reaction from it, from mesaying, like you know, the
reason why I talk to people atwork has nothing to do with
necessarily not wanting to talkto you, but like that, we just
kind of understand that we'rejust trying to deal with what's
going on at work or trying toescape the problems and talk

(19:34):
about just sports or whatever.
So it's like it's a harder.
It's harder to communicate thatsentiment when you're trying to
explain it, because even thenit's, it's met with resistance
usually I feel like it's a lotof, because I I've had that
where it's like I won't talkabout work.

Speaker 1 (19:53):
Sometimes I'm like you don't understand what the
fuck I do.
Like I could tell you about it,but you'll be like well, I
don't even know work.
Sometimes I'm like you don'tunderstand what the fuck I do.
I could tell you about it, butyou'll be like well, I don't
even know what that is.
You're like well, yeah, that'swhy I don't fucking talk to you
about this shit.

Speaker 2 (20:02):
It's just like now I'm getting mad, and then it's
like a weird resistance oranimosity.
It's like I'm not trying tohave animosity with you over
this, I'm just.
I had three pools today.
What the fuck is a pool?

Speaker 3 (20:16):
exactly like it's that might come in part from
your spouse wanting to be likeyour everything.

Speaker 4 (20:23):
This is the thing, I think, because we've had some
right.
So I think it's more thanwanting to know about your day
being involved, know about yourlife.
But I got to tell you one timeI said work is for work, home is
for home, like when I clock out, I clock out, I clock out I
clock out.
I don't want to talk about thisplace.
I don't want to think aboutthis place.
I don't deal with whatever'sgoing on here when I clock when
I clock back in, I now let mefocus on do you tell me about

(20:45):
your day and then I willinterject about, we'll talk
about our daughter, we'll talkabout what needs to be done in
in that aspect.
And also the other thing islike I don't.
I asked my wife don't bring meproblems that I can't fix in the
moment.
So if I'm at work, don't tellme about something that's going
on that I can't handle, Becausenow all I'm thinking about at

(21:05):
work is damn.
I got to take care of this.
So it's like let me focus onbecause my mind is very singular
tasks, so let me focus on this.
And then when I'm done withthis, now I can focus on this.
So instead of me doing 75, 25,50, 50 focus, let me be 100 here
.
And that's because when I clockout, I'm not thinking about
this place at all.
So now I'm 100 here.
So now we don't have to, nowthere's no, now we can

(21:28):
brainstorm and figure out.
I mean, if it can be done thatway.
Sometimes you have issues thathave to be addressed on the spot
, and that's different.
But, like Kevin said, I thinkwe do a good job of
compartmentalizing a lot ofthings.
So, like this is where my brainis.
My brain needs to sit hereuntil I'm no longer needed to be
here, and then, once my brain's, once I'm out of this

(21:49):
compartment, then we'll walkover to the next one type thing.

Speaker 3 (21:52):
That makes sense, respect that he did.

Speaker 2 (21:54):
He detailed and simplified what I was trying to
say you made sense okay, I justyeah, it's we.

Speaker 3 (22:00):
We probably have a different and a different
outcome, because my husbanddoesn't have a lot of friends,
so I am the nigga he talking toabout work.
I don't know what the fuck hetalking about, but I still hear
him out because I am the personhe goes to well I mean, that's
no different, my wife talkingshit.

Speaker 4 (22:14):
I don't understand all the time, I just let her
talk.
Wow, babe, that's crazy.

Speaker 1 (22:19):
I'll be talking and I'm like you want to know.
You don't even know what thesevows are.
You want me to tell you aboutthese vows and then my manager
telling me some shit.
I'm like now what?

Speaker 4 (22:32):
Now I got to explain some shit to you.
I will say if some shit go downat work.

Speaker 3 (22:36):
Oh, yeah, some juicy shit.

Speaker 1 (22:37):
Oh yeah, the juicy.
I definitely want to know thetea.

Speaker 3 (22:41):
Let me tell you something.

Speaker 4 (22:42):
Man guess what this bitch did today.
We just had that.

Speaker 1 (22:47):
I was outside and she was like what happened?
I was like, yeah, it was allbad, it was all bad, for sure,
we want to know the tea.

Speaker 4 (22:55):
These motherfuckers got me fucked up today.
Yeah, we can talk about that,but my day-to-day when I'm doing
that work that's not needed tobe said.

Speaker 1 (23:03):
I'm going to tell you about that, off air For sure.
We just had some juicy shit itwas fun.
I was like oh, this nigga lostit, he lost it.
This is white rage.

Speaker 5 (23:13):
You know what buddy?

Speaker 2 (23:14):
Yeah, what'd you go there, I, I can't say it, but
yeah, that's the usual Tea.
Yeah, it's usually.
Tea Is the the most talkedabout Detail.

Speaker 1 (23:26):
Yeah, yeah, I ain't telling you no technical shit.

Speaker 4 (23:29):
I'm gonna be mad.

Speaker 1 (23:31):
Hydrogen.

Speaker 4 (23:32):
If I know some tea, my wife know, don't tell me.
Definitely.
I'm telling you Look here myhousehold, look here my
household, look here, it don'tleave the house, but it's in the
house.
It don't leave the house, butit's in the house.
We know, if I know, she knows,she know, I know, I'm just
telling.

Speaker 1 (23:49):
Yeah, that's a good one.
I like that.
Some people don't understandthat.

Speaker 4 (23:53):
No, I know a lot of shit about people I shouldn't
know, and to your point,sometimes you know some shit and
when you see people like man, Idon't want to know.
God damn it.
Now, every time I see this, I'mgoing to think about God damn
it.

Speaker 2 (24:04):
Yeah, that shit.
You see this person like Ishould know this about you.

Speaker 4 (24:11):
Why do I know, called me and told me some shit.
He's like.
I don't want to be the only onethinking this, I'm going to
tell you too.

Speaker 2 (24:16):
I'm guilty of that shit.
That's the kind of friend I am.
If I got to suffer through it,nigga, you're going to have to
too, can I tell you?

Speaker 1 (24:23):
this.
Should I tell you this?
I had that happen to me in afucking cab.
I got in the cab and the dudewas like because I was a regular
in his cab and like, oh, it'syou.
He's like, bro, I can't, Ican't keep this to myself.
And I was like, okay, and he'slike so I just picked up some
guy or some chick and I wastaking her over there and she
just started telling me stuffand then, uh, come to find out,

(24:46):
she just found out that herhusband was, uh, was hoeing out
the dog to the neighbors and Iwas like what the fuck?
I did not expect that.
I was like oh shit, you fuckedmy whole morning up, he's a pimp
.
I just couldn't keep that tomyself.

Speaker 4 (25:05):
I wish you would've was the dog fucking the other
dogs.

Speaker 1 (25:09):
The people were fucking the dogs it was that
shit that was early in themorning.
I was like I gotta go throughthe whole day like this.

Speaker 2 (25:17):
I thought he was just reading the.

Speaker 4 (25:19):
I shouldn't have asked the question.

Speaker 3 (25:21):
I would have started asking questions.
Wait a minute.
What happened?
Did they call the cops?

Speaker 1 (25:26):
The lady was like what's your name?
He was like John.
She was like that's his name.

Speaker 4 (25:35):
I was like, oh shit.

Speaker 1 (25:37):
So now I'm reminded of this man, I'll let you know
where the I lived in.

Speaker 4 (25:42):
I was going to say where they was in that shit oh
Washington.

Speaker 1 (25:47):
Yeah, that's some weird shit they had a dude get
fucked by a horse out there anddie.

Speaker 4 (25:52):
Okay, next question.

Speaker 2 (25:54):
What are some ways you feel supported by your
friends?

Speaker 1 (25:57):
I'm going to Google that.
What are some ways you feelsupported by your friends?
I'm gonna google that.
What are some ways I feelsupported?

Speaker 4 (26:02):
I feel like for me, sorry for me.
I think in the times I need tovent, just allow me to vent, you
know, because sometimes youcan't, you can't always vent to
your significant other, becausesometimes you got to vent about
your significant other.
So I mean you don't go too muchto your significant other,
because sometimes you got to bein about your significant other.
So so I mean you don't go toomuch into detail, but just
having sometimes having theavenue to like get the shit off

(26:24):
your chest or maybe, you know,sometimes talk you off a ledge.

Speaker 3 (26:28):
Yeah, definitely.

Speaker 1 (26:31):
You know what I?

Speaker 3 (26:33):
have this happen often.

Speaker 1 (26:35):
Sometimes people will just randomly message me or
tell me some shit where they'relike you know what man.
You're one of those people whojust like cool with being
yourself and like you're neverapologetic.
You don't like judge anybodyand I really appreciate that and
I'm like that's dope.
I just try to be good to peopleand it's nice to know that
people notice that.
If that makes sense, that feelsgood.

(26:57):
When people just reach out andknow, hey man, you're a good
dude, it feels good.

Speaker 3 (27:03):
I've been blessed in that area.
Support comes in differentforms for me in that area.
I even feel that I've beensupported by the three of you.

Speaker 4 (27:11):
You're a goddamn lie.

Speaker 3 (27:13):
Do not lie on the camera because you're lying.
Yes, you have been supportive,you are the.
You're like a sour patch.
Like you, cool, but then youkind of like an asshole too
don't get on the boogeyman'sinternet and lie about me.

Speaker 1 (27:25):
Oh, my god, I feel like you're her we fall down, we
get up give me all your money.

Speaker 4 (27:33):
I ain't lying on Beyonce's internet.
Thank you, give me all yourmoney.

Speaker 3 (27:37):
I ain't lying on Beyonce's internet.
Thank you very much.
That's the boogeyman sayingthat.
Yeah, I'd say yes.
But yeah, I think support hasshown itself in different ways.
I have people that friends thathave been supportive as I've
developed my nonprofit.
I have friends that have beensupportive as I've joined you
guys on the podcast.
I have friends that have beenthere as I've gone through

(27:58):
challenges.
So I think support shows up forme in different ways.
I've been really, reallyblessed in that area.
That's right.
Then these three niggas supportme, no matter what this one in
the middle says.

Speaker 5 (28:11):
Don't believe that shit, dukes.
You said well, how do friendssupport?

Speaker 3 (28:15):
you.
How do you feel supported byyour friends?
Yeah, how do friends supportyou?
How do you feel?

Speaker 2 (28:16):
supported by your friends.
Yeah, how do you feel supported?

Speaker 5 (28:18):
by your friends.
Yeah, I mean I guess throughthem having my back.
I guess it's kind of broad, butI feel like there's so much
going on in life Just to knowthat these people have my back
in certain situations.
I find comfort in that, becausethen I feel like I'm never
alone, really, in what I'm doing.

Speaker 1 (28:40):
Shit, you had a hell of a story with that, with your
homeboy telling you like you gotthis.

Speaker 5 (28:46):
That's big ups right there where you're like oh shit.

Speaker 4 (28:49):
That was a display of love, and support.
I think it's always weird theway like I think us as men.
We never really tell the men Ilove you, but we show it.
We show it by showing up.

Speaker 3 (29:02):
I do.

Speaker 4 (29:04):
I know you do, Kevin.
Yeah, and I think that'sbeautiful.

Speaker 3 (29:06):
I think that's beautiful to hear men say I love
you to each other and expressthat I love you fool yeah
there's nothing wrong with that.

Speaker 5 (29:14):
And it should be more widely accepted.

Speaker 3 (29:16):
It's not.
It's not and it should be.
Who the fuck is this?

Speaker 5 (29:21):
I would try to get out like I love you off to the
homies, you know, and it'd justbe like sometimes it's received,
you know sometimes like yeah,for sure, bro, it's weird.

Speaker 1 (29:28):
It's weird.
It's like you gotta do italmost like a cool way.

Speaker 2 (29:44):
Yeah, for sure, it's a weird thing to hear.
Yeah, my answer will be knowingthey're solid.

Speaker 4 (29:46):
Okay, yeah, like no like.

Speaker 2 (29:47):
Is that love to you?
No, it's just not that likefriends showing support, like
knowing their size, so knowing,even if I'm not around, they're
gonna still be who they are.
It's solid for me.
100, yeah, um.
But to that sentiment I sent outit was a couple, it was a month
ago I think I sent out a masstext to all my friends that are
guys and I sent it was astatement saying like I

(30:09):
appreciate you, you know rocking, whatever, even if I don't say
it, just know that.
That.
And I remember it was so mixed.
The reactions were so mixedyeah, thumbs up, or like oh man,
you too, nigga, and it's like.
But you could feel it was likesome people were really
uncomfortable with the statementbecause I was just trying to
let people know like I rock withyou, like you know, even if I

(30:31):
don't tell you like, and it'sjust.
The reactions are so vastlydifferent because you have
people like alright, nigga.
And then I have one comment you, good man that's what I was
going to say if I'm being honest, when I get text messages like
that, I'll be like nigga.
What's wrong, what you goingthrough, what's going on you

(30:56):
alright and out of all of them,one dude shout out to Mitch was
like hey man, we gotta normalizethis more amongst men.

Speaker 4 (31:04):
I said facts y'all niggas gonna hold hands seeing
Kuba.
I watch them.

Speaker 3 (31:09):
They ain't saying they wanna hold hands, but
expressing that love isimportant.

Speaker 1 (31:13):
I'm gonna be honest what's that you guys keep going.
My 40-year-old bladder oh.

Speaker 4 (31:22):
Okay, I think the last, I think the only.
She locked you up.
I think the the last grown man.
I tell my brother I love himall the time, but I think that's
different.
It's my brother.
I'm telling my brother love himall the time, but I think
that's different.
It's my brother.
I told my brother, oh god.

Speaker 5 (31:39):
Did you say it back though?
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 (31:42):
I think I told my brother-in-law once, but I know
that nigga a long time.

Speaker 3 (31:47):
There you go.
It took me a long time To beable to Express I love you like
that, cause it was, we weren'taffectionateate, affectionate
like that growing up, oh lord,but don't come to my house, be
over affectionate oh no, I Ididn't want to hear.
I love you and I don't like tobe hugged like that.
That should be irritating thehell out of me.

Speaker 4 (32:04):
Yeah, I'd be ready to die my daughter laid in bed
between me and my wife lastnight.
My wife turns to her side, Iturn to my side, my daughter
gets lays on my shoulder andrubs my ear so she can fall
asleep.

Speaker 3 (32:17):
Oh, the kids are fine .
I love the children.
It's me and these grown-asspeople.
I don't want them hugging me,I'm hugging my wife.
I hug my husband.

Speaker 4 (32:27):
I'm doing more than hugging.

Speaker 3 (32:29):
Oh God, Boy, we had got through so much without you
going there.
I thought we was going to havea whole.

Speaker 4 (32:37):
I mean I hug a lot of people.
I feel like I hug the homies.
I do the.
You know, dab quick, hug, walkaway, I got kicked in the dick?

Speaker 2 (32:44):
What?
By who?
The baby?
Oh, okay, that was love yeah.
Was it?
He a little gangster?
He was like no more kids.

Speaker 4 (32:57):
He want.
He want to make sure he's thelast one.
Make sure he's the last one.
Look, I got a good thing going,don't you get no ideas yeah, I
like this attention.

Speaker 3 (33:03):
They all saying I'm cute he is, oh my god, oh my god
, y'all children let me ask,kevin do you hug people?

Speaker 4 (33:14):
I do, men and women do side hugs?
I used to be a better hugger.
You hug people.
I do, men and women.
Yeah, do side hugs.
I used to be a better hugger.
I think I'm not as good ahugger.

Speaker 1 (33:23):
I used to be always head on, oh, head to head, huh.
And then I think somebody madeit weird.
It wasn't weird to me, but theysaid something to some chick
and I was like, hmm, you madethat weird for me.
What did he say?
He said, yeah, put him on me,oh.

Speaker 4 (33:42):
Nah, I'd never hug you again.

Speaker 2 (33:45):
That was really rapey .

Speaker 1 (33:48):
I don't want you to get the wrong impression.

Speaker 2 (33:50):
You getting the daft right, hey, play up.
He didn't say it to me, I justheard him say that I'm pretty
sure that made her veryuncomfortable.
Oh, he said it to a chick.
What if he was about to hug youand said just the tips, huh.

Speaker 3 (34:04):
Oh my God, just the tips.
I would be like did we touch?

Speaker 1 (34:07):
Did we touch, did we touch.

Speaker 5 (34:12):
Now we go together.
He hugged me when I pulled upright now.

Speaker 2 (34:18):
Yeah, he's a hugger, I'm a hugger.

Speaker 5 (34:22):
You a hugger?
Yeah, for sure, I'm huggingeverybody.
Or like my people, though, Ihug my people, I hug strangers.
Oh, fuck you hug strangers.

Speaker 3 (34:31):
Yeah, I'm hugging these people.

Speaker 1 (34:33):
I feel like, I feel like when I hug people, they
energy get on me and I don't bewanting that.

Speaker 5 (34:39):
If your energy cool.

Speaker 3 (34:40):
I'll hug you.
If your energy weird, I reallyI'll tell somebody.

Speaker 4 (34:43):
I don't like hugging other women.
I'm a deaf.

Speaker 3 (34:46):
And I can respect that.

Speaker 4 (34:47):
I just I gotta like, really like Known you for some
time and even then you gettingNot even a side hug, you getting
the hip.

Speaker 1 (34:54):
You ain't never getting like a good hug like a
strong hug to a stranger.
No, None of y'all.

Speaker 4 (35:00):
No.

Speaker 3 (35:01):
No, Kelly A stranger.

Speaker 1 (35:02):
Yeah, no, a stranger, that's what I said.
I didn't say like I don't know.

Speaker 4 (35:06):
I've given myself a stranger.

Speaker 3 (35:09):
Well.
Well, you're hugging somebody,ironically enough, oddly enough.

Speaker 1 (35:20):
I I've hugged like multiple homeless people.

Speaker 3 (35:21):
Yeah, that's a stranger, but but that's just
different.
No, it's not a stranger.
They go in through a lot and soI just feel like they need the
hug.
So you've never done riskanalysis on that one though,
where you go.

Speaker 1 (35:29):
Hey look, I feel your pain, but this hug ain't
happening no, I am beside myselfwhen I meet homeless people.

Speaker 3 (35:36):
I do not know why I mean like when I say beside
myself, like I have taken off mysneakers and given them to
people and went home barefoot.
I'm like wrapping them inblankets.
I want to know why you're outhere.
Are you hungry, are you?
Okay you want me to get you aplate?
I am beside myself when I seehomeless people, so no, I don't
even think about it.

Speaker 4 (35:53):
Spare some change?

Speaker 2 (35:54):
Yeah, you ain't homeless.

Speaker 3 (35:55):
nigga, you have a lovely home.

Speaker 2 (35:58):
Can I uh?

Speaker 3 (35:59):
If I slide you some change, it's gonna be so you can
get some balcony built on theside.

Speaker 2 (36:03):
So we ain't got to hear shit else about a balcony.
I need it.
Where's that balcony counter atnow?

Speaker 1 (36:10):
I need it.
If she doing that, I'm about toput up a balcony.
I need it.

Speaker 2 (36:19):
But uh, but real talk .
I think after my dad passed iswhen I started realizing I
needed to be more vocal aboutsaying love, because it was bad
when my dad would say he lovedme.
I was like something's wrong.
And if I felt like that then Iwas like that's not being said
enough.

Speaker 4 (36:38):
I just think that's the thing, man.
We don't really understand thatuntil we get older.

Speaker 3 (36:41):
Yeah, my mom does that.
She currently does that.
We'd be like, oh, I love you,Mom.
She'd be like what's wrong?

Speaker 5 (36:47):
Y'all all right, it might be a black thing, that's a
mom thing I seen you, and itjust fucking triggered me again.

Speaker 3 (36:53):
Yeah, my mom does it.

Speaker 4 (36:55):
My mom had the nerve to tell my wife she loved her
more than she loved me.

Speaker 2 (36:59):
Oh Damn.

Speaker 4 (37:00):
Oh shit.
And I told her.
I said don't you ever bringyour wife back to her.
You have a lovely wife.
She is lovely To be fair yourmom is very vocal.
And it reminds me of my mom.
I told Des she could and I said, just so you know, my mama, she
a real nigga like me.

Speaker 3 (37:16):
She gonna say some shit, she ain't gonna hold her
tongue and I wanted to meet hertoo, so I was mad that I
couldn't, because the more youtalked about it, the more I was
like I need to see this lady.

Speaker 2 (37:24):
She's very vocal.

Speaker 3 (37:25):
She's like she cool.

Speaker 1 (37:38):
When we my mama she don't, she don't hold nothing
back if she thinking she's gonnasay it.
Yeah, I love that my mom's likethat too.
I love that.
I do advocate the saying love,love you to your homies because
yeah, just anybody, anybody youlove, all right, because like
you want me to text it to youbecause, like before, like I
think I've told you guys that,like literally the day before my
dad died I don't know what thefuck I said it for we was at
sam's club going to get pizzaand I just looked at him and I

(38:01):
was like you drive me crazysometimes, but I love you.
And he was like I love you too.
And then I heard him the nextday, was like yeah, that nigga's
talking about.
He loved me.
I was like I love him too, butI was like nigga that's cool so
I didn't know the next day wasgoing to be what the next day

(38:22):
was, so I'm glad I got that out.

Speaker 4 (38:24):
So I think I've had my pops tell me that and it's
like I don't know.
It's always like I tell it, Isay it back, but I think part of
me be like I don't know, Ithink you do, but you don't love
me enough.
If you loved me enough, youwould be here every day.

Speaker 1 (38:43):
This loves different yeah.

Speaker 3 (38:48):
I'm sure he loved you .
Oh, he's still alive.
I'm sure he loves you.

Speaker 4 (38:52):
He probably do.

Speaker 2 (38:55):
You a cold man yeah.
If you see the interactionswith Mo and his parents.
It's wild.
I've seen both as recentlybecause I saw his dad before and
then I said, boy, I get wherehe gets it from now Me, yeah,
your reaction to when I met yourdad and he was like in his
guilt mode and you came out andstarted talking shit, I said, my

(39:16):
god, mo, yeah cause I rememberhe was, he was talking shit or
something and I was like nigga,don't believe this, nigga.
Andy when he said it so openlyin front of his dad and I was
like that's some cold shit.
And then, like the interactionbetween you and mom, I said, oh
my god, he's like, this is wherehe gets it from.
Like okay, like, oh shit, Ilove him too.

Speaker 3 (39:37):
I'm just with him, very, very honest, I think we
came from a generation ofparents that their expression of
love is different.
Well, you know my story.

Speaker 4 (39:45):
I wasn't raised by my parents, right, I knew them.
You know.
I've seen my mom a lot becauseI'll stay with her parents.
My grandparents raised me and Iwould like my dad.
He came around every so oftenand then when I was in high
school I started driving, Iwould go see him.
So I kind of cultivated therelationship there, kind of like
for my own mental health, right.
So it's like.

(40:07):
And then becoming a father andseeing my child is like and I
think back like there's no wayin hell I will let anybody, not
let me see my, my kid.
And then all the stories my dadhas told me, all the reasons
why, and I'm like, no, I don't,I don't believe you because you
knew, you know I'm saying mygrandfather had a church on the
same corner for 40 years.
I was there every sunday, everyfriday, every wednesday, so

(40:31):
it's not like you had to likeget in contact with anybody to
see me.
You knew where I was gonna beat.
So it's like I just felt likethe effort wasn't there on your
part.
So it's like it's not that Idon't love them and I've
forgiven them, but at the sametime it's like I'm I'm grown now
I know like that, that that youtrying to like teach me some
shit.
Them days are just over.
Like we, we cool, we cool.

(40:52):
I love you, we can interact,you can have your grandchild in
your life, all that.
But like don't this father-sondynamic you want?
That's not going to be there.

Speaker 5 (41:01):
You don't mind me asking bro, like you got kids
right?

Speaker 2 (41:04):
Yeah, I got one.
So if a girl or boy, Girl.

Speaker 5 (41:07):
So say like there's nowhere your daughter could be
on this planet that you wouldn'tfind.
You know?

Speaker 4 (41:12):
what I mean.
I told my wife, if we leave, Isaid you can have everything,
but my child.
That's the one thing I'm goingto fight you for.
You can have these cars, thishouse, all that, all this shit I
can get back, but I want mychild.

Speaker 5 (41:21):
Because I got my daughter too and I feel the same
way about my daughter.

Speaker 4 (41:33):
So hearing you say that I resonate with that,
Because there's nowhere mydaughter could excuse I don't
want 50-50.
I want 80-20.

Speaker 1 (41:38):
If you went to China, you're like I guess I'll be
going to China, I guess I livein China.
I guess I live in China yeah, Iagree with that completely.

Speaker 3 (41:45):
You know, my husband has baby mama from hell and he
deals with it all just to makesure he's at doctor's
appointments by himself.
He at the school appointment byhimself, but he does it, no
matter what she says, to makesure that he's with his son.

Speaker 4 (42:00):
I respect that because I make it.
I make it a point to let it beknown.
My child has an active fatheryeah.
I'm at the doctor's.
I'm at the.
I walked up.
I'm at her school teacher.
I shook her hand.

Speaker 3 (42:11):
I'm yeah it makes a difference If you have any
issues.

Speaker 4 (42:14):
You can call me directly Because she'll listen
to me.
So you know what I'm saying.
So the people at the schoolknow who I am, people at her
sports events they know who I amand if you fuck with my child,
you know I'm coming there tofuck you up?

Speaker 3 (42:25):
That's what my husband is with his son.

Speaker 1 (42:27):
That's what my teacher probably think I got
like split custody with KendallBecause I was like oh,
wednesday's my days when I comepick her up.
She's like oh, Wednesday Okay,okay, uh-oh.
She's like well, I guess youknow it happens.
Now I got to go address thatshit.

Speaker 4 (42:45):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (42:46):
My bad, that was kind of on a tangent.

Speaker 4 (42:49):
I'm listening, we back, we back.

Speaker 3 (42:50):
We back, we back, we back, we back question I don't
mind.

Speaker 2 (42:53):
Uh, how important is open communication in your
friendships very extremely.

Speaker 3 (42:59):
I literally had a friend for 28 fucking years and
the girl had a problem with meand didn't say nothing until
2024.

Speaker 4 (43:07):
We've been friends since fifth grade, yeah well I
mean sometimes, that's, peopledon't know how to address the
issue I'm I'm easy to address,but the thing is, a lot of
people have a hard time sayingthe hard things.

Speaker 2 (43:17):
You should never have that issue with me I make space
for whatever you got to say,even if I won't hear that shit.
Can I ask what the issue mightbe pertained towards that would
make it her wait that long?

Speaker 3 (43:31):
I'm not sure how to word it on air without giving
you too much, but her baby daddyhit somebody up that I know on
like a dating app, like yearsago, like on the day that Nipsey
Hussle died, like that's howfar back it was, and the person
that he hit up was close to me.

(43:52):
So she called me and was like,hey, your best friend, baby
daddy, is on this damn date nap.
So I told her, but it took me alittle minute to tell her.
But it's because she, no matterwhat you tell her about this
man, she's going to be with him.
So I try not to get involved inthat, because you're going to
be with this nigga anyway.
So what we got to talk about itfor I eventually did tell her

(44:13):
and she felt like I wasn't beingloyal to her because I didn't
tell her right away.
But that happened when NipseyHussle died.
We're at 2024,.
Ma'am, you should have saidsome shit at that time.
You should have been like, hey,why you didn't say something
when it happened?

(44:36):
And then I would have told youbecause you're still going to be
with this and she's like hotshit mad about it.
Oh okay, how upset were they?
Because I think sometimes she'smad.
But I can almost guarantee youthat there's another underlying
issue you ain't said yet,because that is not even that
damn deep for you to be as madas you are.
So there's another underlyingissue you haven't said yet.
I'm not perfect and I'm.
I encourage you to tell me whenI've done something wrong so
that I can correct that, becauseI'm approachable.
If I've done something wrong,so that I can correct that,
because I'm approachable.
If I've done something, I don'talways know that I'm offending
somebody, so I encourage you totell me if I've offended you so

(45:00):
that I can be mindful of how youneed me to present myself as
your friend.
So I feel like thatcommunication.
There there's no reason to hell.
We should have been friends for28 years and the communication
wasn't better.

Speaker 2 (45:12):
I thought she was holding on to something for 28
years.

Speaker 3 (45:15):
No, that would have made us like fifth graders, and
I wish I had.

Speaker 2 (45:18):
I'm saying that's why I yeah, I was like, but she
held on to something for thatlong.

Speaker 3 (45:22):
But I'm willing to bet you there are other issues
that have, and this is what senther over the edge, because
there's just no way.

Speaker 4 (45:32):
And I think it's just .
Sometimes it's like peopledon't understand.
You got to address the littlethings because the little things
build up.
And now you got, you have onelittle thing, and now you got
six or seven little things, andnow these little things become
one big thing.

Speaker 3 (45:45):
Yeah, and I'm OK with being addressed with the little
things because, like I said,I'm not perfect and I'm sure I
offend people and I'm sure thatI say the wrong thing at times.

Speaker 1 (45:53):
I just need you to tell me hey, I don't like how
you just got at me, so that Ican make that correction you
don't think it's uh valuable tohave like, uh, I guess, a risk
analysis not a risk analysis, Idon't know what you would call
it like in the middle ofsomething where, if you feel
some sort of way, but you'relike that's not really that big
a deal, like is it middle ofsomething where, if you feel

(46:14):
some sort of way, but you'relike that's not really that big
a deal, like is it worth makingsomething out of this, or just
something like you get past.

Speaker 4 (46:20):
I just, I just always felt like, um, I never adjust
things right when they happen.
Cause, let me, let me calm down, let me process, let me, let me
speak to you once.
Uh, I've gone through myrotation of emotions.
So, when I have a conflict, sowhen I talk to you like the
experience we all just had, sowhen I'm ready I'll talk to you.
When I'm ready to talk to you,when I can talk to him from a

(46:42):
place where it's not hurt, it'snot anger, it's a resolution.
Right, right.
But when you try to rush theprocess, that's when you start
pushing me away.
I understand.
You got to rush the process.
That's when you start pushingme away, I understand.

Speaker 3 (46:54):
I respect that for sure.
You got to respect my processUnderstood.

Speaker 1 (46:56):
Like, I'm not writing you off, I'm getting my
thoughts together, I'm justtalking about y'all saying
addressing the little things,because sometimes I can be
double-edged because if youaddress all the little things
with somebody.
Somebody's going to be likewell nigga, what the fuck do you
like about me?

Speaker 3 (47:11):
You know, what I'm saying With this particular girl
she could have addressedanything with me.

Speaker 1 (47:17):
Sometimes you gotta go.

Speaker 4 (47:20):
Well, I think that it comes into sometimes.
You just understand that's partof their personality.

Speaker 1 (47:27):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (47:29):
A friendship is just like a regular relationship.
There's going to be parts aboutthat person that maybe don't
sit right with you, but you justaccept it as part of a part of
the personality.

Speaker 3 (47:38):
So you really only address the things that really
get to you you know some thingsyou just, you know, you let
slide, you know I think she hurtmy feelings because I she is
the one person that I have gonecompletely out of my way to be
loyal to, like completely out ofmy way to make sure she knew
that I, that I like loved her,and she questioned my fucking

(47:59):
loyalty.
Yeah, and I'm like bitch, I'mover here willing to, I'm gonna
go to war with god behind you,and you're questioning my
loyalty.
So I I think that's where thethe emotions came in.
And then, plus, we both girls,so we both emotional shit about
everything that's happening.

Speaker 4 (48:15):
But see, I'm also petty.
It's like once you, if you makeup in your head that I've done
something or I've acted acertain way or did something,
I'm going to just let youbelieve it.
I'm not going to correct it,like, if that's how you want to
see me, it don't bother me.

Speaker 1 (48:26):
I thought you was going to say that Then no, I'm
in the same place.

Speaker 4 (48:30):
No, no, you know because I've had that happen,
you know, numerous times in thepast.
And eventually they come aroundand be like I don't know why I
was tripping.
I don't know why you trippingeither, but you know like I am.
I say this shit to everyone Imeet.
I am who I am.
When you meet me, I neverchange.
I am who I am.
I can agree with that issuewith me.
Address it, because if youdon't address it to me, I'm

(48:51):
going to assume everything isgood and I'm going to just keep
acting the way I've been actingbecause I am who I am.
But if you address the issue,then I'll adjust my interaction
with you.

Speaker 1 (49:01):
Nah, since they're not like us, I'm surprised you
wanted that feature request.
Homie Got some shit to address.
I'm sitting at the table withyou until we talk.
Sitting at the table with youuntil we talk.

Speaker 2 (49:12):
I think open communication is very important,
but I even think that even withthat open communication, if a
person is, I think, going to bedeliberately combative or that's
not, communication.

Speaker 4 (49:26):
That's not, that's just the energy has to be right
on both sides, absolutely,because you can't.
You can't have a conversationif somebody's just trying to
prove a point.
Yeah, so we're not discussingit.
You're trying to win me over toyour side.

Speaker 1 (49:41):
You got to have effective communication where
you're listening.
That's part of communication.
Some people don't do that part.

Speaker 3 (49:48):
You're not hearing me .
You're like and to betransparent and to take
accountability.
I really only got good at this,being having good communication
in the last few years, so shemight have not been able to feel
like she could approach me withthings up until here recently,
because I just really started toacknowledge where my flaws have

(50:09):
been in communicating, so shemight not have felt comfortable
now that I'm like thinking back.

Speaker 1 (50:14):
It's pretty dope.
I like that.
I like seeing that happen.
It's a process.

Speaker 2 (50:19):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (50:20):
Yeah, I have a motherfucking air.

Speaker 3 (50:25):
And she watch the show because I'll be seeing her
ass like this shit.
So call me girl, because I caneven feel that you better get a
phone call.

Speaker 2 (50:34):
What's your longest friendship and how have you
survived the test of time?

Speaker 3 (50:37):
In 28 years we beef every five years.
And then, and then we, and thenwe Call each other On each
other's birthday and say I loveyou and make up.

Speaker 2 (50:47):
Hmm.

Speaker 1 (50:49):
Um what's?

Speaker 2 (50:51):
How old would I be In the second?

Speaker 1 (50:52):
grade Like uh, six.
Six, seven, seven, somethinglike that so since six.
Seven.
That's my longest friendship.
Uh, we just homies.

Speaker 3 (51:03):
That's my brother I think social media plays a big
part, because I still have lotsof friends that I've had since
like high school, junior highschool, and that I still
interact with and I still go anddo things with, and I think
it's really only because ofsocial media, cause otherwise I
don't think people stayedconnected like that prior to.

Speaker 1 (51:21):
It happens Cause I've had friends that I didn't talk
to for like years and thenconnected without the shit
somehow.

Speaker 2 (51:28):
Are we?
Are we talking about?
Friends that you just stay incontact with, their actual
friends that you just stay incontact with, or actual friends
that you've.

Speaker 4 (51:34):
No, these are friends , I would say my best friend
from junior high high school.
I haven't talked to him inyears but it's one of those
friendships when we do, becausehe moved away.
I only see him when he comeshome.
But when he comes home, when hecomes back here, it's like we
never stop.
It's day one.
You know what I'm saying andoutside of that the only other

(51:55):
person that's really been.
You know Dad's going to cry,but it's my wife.

Speaker 3 (51:59):
Okay, you know how it feels.
I love when he talks about hiswife.
He's just ooh, I love it forher, I do.

Speaker 4 (52:09):
I love her too.

Speaker 3 (52:09):
I'm glad you do, I love her too, I'm glad you do
them goodies and all See, youknow.

Speaker 4 (52:15):
We be.
We be going good, go ahead, bean asshole, I will.

Speaker 1 (52:20):
I wish more women Would feel like that Towards
other women.
Yeah, they always want to Beateach other down, no, you.

Speaker 3 (52:28):
That comes with maturity Like seriously, because
I'm not sure that I've alwaysbeen that mature either, but
because I'm not sure that I'vealways been that mature either.
But now that I'm like when youexperience different types of
relationships when you seesomebody and they're in
something that you know,seemingly, is good.
You want to cheer them on,especially the sisters.
Not that I don't cheer thewhite people on, I cheer on
everybody, but especially thesisters.

Speaker 5 (52:49):
I do cheer on everybody.
I cheer your wife on.
I love her.

Speaker 3 (52:51):
She don't even like.
I think you have the coolest.

Speaker 1 (52:54):
She don't even like Wienerschnitzel.

Speaker 3 (52:57):
I don't care for Wienerschnitzel you are correct,
I think but I love your wife.
I think you have a dope asswife.
She's pretty cool and she'sgorgeous and she got a assistant
.

Speaker 1 (53:11):
I know.

Speaker 3 (53:11):
I'm very aware of that.

Speaker 1 (53:12):
Get it girl.
Got me sweating.

Speaker 4 (53:15):
I would just say I don't think that the years of
friendship matters as much aspeople put on it, because I also
have the understanding or thebelief that you know, some
people are just for seasons.
Yeah, so you can meet somebodyand be real cool with them for
two, three years and that'd be areal impactful period in your
life, and then you guys goseparate ways or whatever the

(53:38):
case may be, but they're not apermanent fixture.

Speaker 1 (53:41):
Fair weather.

Speaker 4 (53:41):
Francis.

Speaker 1 (53:43):
Like a fair weather, because what happens when you
come down the line?
Yeah, down.

Speaker 4 (53:47):
You circle back.
I mean, it's very true.
Sometimes you just outgrowpeople.

Speaker 2 (53:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (53:52):
I don't like that.
They might just grow apart.
No, you outgrow them.
And what about them then?
They saying the same thingabout you.

Speaker 4 (54:00):
Well, I mean, I feel like it's just you grow apart.
I mean, yeah, you can growapart and you can outgrow,
because sometimes you know youguys meet on the same level and
then you're, but you're tryingto comfort where they're at.
So that's when you're all grown.
Sometimes you guys take whenyou take different paths then
you grow apart.

Speaker 1 (54:14):
That's a different path.
But I can't say that aboutpeople because it's like maybe
that's where their growth isLike, and I don't talk about
their growth because I don'tknow my growth.

Speaker 4 (54:23):
Okay, well, I'll grow them on my tree.

Speaker 2 (54:28):
Our trees are right here and they tree is Prime
America.

Speaker 4 (54:32):
What did you say?
Wait, no.
What did you say?

Speaker 2 (54:35):
I said their growth was Prime America and that's why
you're not friends, no more.

Speaker 1 (54:39):
Prime America made you lose a friend.
Well, it gave you a good deal.
You talking about the insurance, I think the friend worked for
Prime.
America?
No, I know.

Speaker 2 (54:56):
Second grade.

Speaker 1 (54:57):
Wait, I'm so confused .
You had a friend working.

Speaker 3 (54:59):
I had a friend since second grade.
They was working.

Speaker 1 (55:03):
That's illegal.

Speaker 3 (55:04):
Why that nigga red cup over here?

Speaker 2 (55:07):
He joined Prime America In the moment.
In joining Prime America, hemade it a point to try to sell
everyone, everyone on PrimeAmerica and then, when I said no
, I got a family to think about.
He said well, if I'm notsupporting his dream, I'm
against him he went to schoolwith us.

Speaker 3 (55:21):
Oh, that's wild.

Speaker 2 (55:22):
Yes, he's Bambi, why you gotta put his name out there
.

Speaker 3 (55:26):
I said that name, so that didn't, because they can
try to sell me Prime America.

Speaker 2 (55:30):
That's why I don't want to put him out there.
She don't want to talk about it.

Speaker 1 (55:36):
I mean, is he still doing Prime America?

Speaker 3 (55:37):
I think so oh yeah, mike, what I don't know, I know
this is like great Get a freeplug.
I know, Really, and see, I'mtalking about Baby X, you're
afraid.

Speaker 2 (55:47):
That's the truth you're talking about.

Speaker 3 (55:49):
I thought you knew.
Yeah, you turned the mic, likeyou ain't got it.

Speaker 4 (55:54):
I don't know what she was

Speaker 3 (55:58):
saying oh fucking well, everybody know who my damn
best friend is from fifth grade.
It don't matter, I didn't know.
I don't know her.
Everybody who watches this, whoknow me, know.
Oh, okay, yeah, second grade,dang really, that's oh, okay,
yeah, second grade, but dangreally that's heartbreaking, I
like it.

Speaker 1 (56:19):
Sometimes it happens you're like, hey, I'm always
cool, but I guess, yeah, I ain'tgonna die today.
I hope not, so I'm gonna justkeep on moving.
What can I do?

Speaker 4 (56:26):
yeah, what was the original question?

Speaker 2 (56:29):
uh open communication .
I know your longest friendship.
I'm sorry what is?
Your longest friendship and howlong?

Speaker 4 (56:34):
have you survived the test of time?
Did we get Duke's answer?

Speaker 5 (56:38):
Nah, I think my longest friendship is gonna be
my bro Z.
It's been like 23 years.

Speaker 1 (56:44):
Oh, since y'all was in diapers, damn it.

Speaker 3 (56:45):
Yeah, he said that, I heard it.

Speaker 4 (56:49):
We know you heard a lot.

Speaker 3 (56:50):
I sure did Everything he said.
Now what?

Speaker 4 (56:54):
Thank you.
We know you her a lot.
I sure did everything he said.
Now what thank you?

Speaker 3 (56:55):
it's more than love turn this nigga mic off.
I'm sick of you.

Speaker 2 (57:01):
He's controlling this shit damn tired of you, but I
guess my longest runningfriendship would be JC who
coincidentally, is also helpingus put on this show on the 21st
in September, the Grand Terraceat the venue.

Speaker 3 (57:21):
Did I plug that the wrong way?

Speaker 2 (57:23):
But anyway but yeah, I've known him, I've met him
through the other guy and we'vebeen knowing each other since
freshman year.
And we've been rocking sincethen.
But yeah.
Anybody else?

Speaker 3 (57:45):
No, no, no, that's it .

Speaker 2 (57:48):
How do men deal with fallouts in their friendship?
The fuck, and then I put thaton.

Speaker 3 (57:53):
So how do men deal with fallouts in their friends
ships, the fuck.
And then I put that.

Speaker 2 (57:56):
All right, yeah.
So how do men deal withfallouts in their friendships?

Speaker 1 (57:59):
A lot of men don't handle it Well a lot of the time
it's a lot of turn off and thenshut you off.
That's that.
Yeah, I think um, it's like uh,it's like uh you get the light
switch and you just don'tcommunicate, don't deal with
them.
Yeah, I'm very big givingchances and then seeing how, in
that chance, how that responseis, you're like damn, really,

(58:22):
all right, I didn't have to showgrace.
That's, I guess, how I dealwith it.

Speaker 4 (58:28):
So I think it's also it difficult to cause If one
side feels like they've beenhurt or they feel like they've
been attacked or it was personal.
It's kind of hard for for themto communicate or get past that.
Right, and I'm sorry and likeit's so, because it's hard to

(58:50):
have understanding when oneside's operating from hurt and
other sides is like no, I'm juststanding on business, Like I
was approached this way.
This is the reaction, Becauseyou know, when you're dealing
with men like we all havetestosterone, we all have egos,
Like I'm only going to allow somuch.
Before now I got to puff mychest up too because this is
what you want, this is what it'sgoing to be what you want, this

(59:10):
is what it's going to be.
So when we get to that point,that's the point to where now
ego's involved on both sides andnow it's going to take some
time to actually effectivelycommunicate the issue and a lot
of times once it gets there, youknow men can't rebound from
that and have the same type offriendship going forward.
Because I think a lot.
I think the initial reactionreaction is just I'm gonna
distance myself from thisbecause I don't want it to go

(59:31):
any go any far south than whatit already has.

Speaker 1 (59:34):
Yeah, I don't want to beat your ass but yeah, I
didn't want to say that.
Kevin, I try to uh, but withthat what you said, I try to be
up front with how I feel withthat shit.
Like I'm, like if somebody sayssomething to me that like hurt
me.
I'm like yo that fucking hurtme.
Like I need you to know that.
Like, if you don't respect that, then it's like fuck it.
What are we doing?
like I put that shit up frontand it's like I think a lot of

(59:54):
dudes don't want to express thatpart where it's like I hurt and
you're like dog, that's yourhomie, that full distance shit,
and it hurt, it's fine, tellthem that, and how they respond
is how you respond.
So I think a lot of that isthat's part of the communication
.

Speaker 4 (01:00:08):
Yeah, but it's also.
You also have to have thematurity maturity to understand
that that person is allowed tofeel the way they feel.
Yeah, absolutely.
Even if you don't agree withtheir feelings, their feelings
are their feelings, so you haveto honor that.
Even if it's counterproductiveof what you want or what you
feel, it's still their feelings.

Speaker 1 (01:00:26):
Yeah, yeah, that's stupid.
What that's stupid.
I'm like hey that's stupid,yeah, that's stupid.
Well, that's stupid.
I'm like, hey, that's stupid.

Speaker 3 (01:00:33):
I think for women, because we react so emotionally
a lot of times when things needto be addressed, it doesn't get
addressed properly in thebeginning because we're going to
react off pain, we're going toreact off emotions, it's going
to be dramatic before it couldactually have a resolution.
So I think that's how how womenare they address those?

Speaker 4 (01:00:53):
I just think women get to a certain point they just
cut people off eventually we doand it also depends on your it
also depends on your maturitylevel.

Speaker 3 (01:01:03):
I'm gonna tell you what I see.

Speaker 1 (01:01:05):
I don't see the cut off.
I see drag that bitch.
That's what it look like.
Oh, we ain't cool.
Well, that bitch got herpes andit looked like oh wait, ain't
cool well that bitch got herpesand you're like oh shit, well,
get the popcorn.

Speaker 3 (01:01:17):
I've literally, I've literally had that happen.
I mean also, I kinda I'm veryfeminine but I kinda move like a
nigga sometimes, so I don't behaving the extra emotions where
I wanna drag a bitch for everylittle thing she say or tell her
business or put her out thereor anything like that, whatever
you might say, because yougrabbed that mic and I knew it.

Speaker 5 (01:01:38):
I was going to say.
I feel like a lot of dudes arelike that too, though, Like an
insecure man is going to be realemotional.

Speaker 3 (01:01:44):
So like.

Speaker 5 (01:01:46):
I've had it with homies where we're not cool
anymore for X, y, z.
But if they feel a type of way,then they're going to like a
lot of times they're going tolike speak on it you know Like
how you're saying like kind ofjust gossiping.

Speaker 2 (01:01:58):
To other people?
Yeah, To other people, not toyou, you know.

Speaker 5 (01:02:01):
It's like a man confident in himself, even right
or wrong, like he's going toaddress the situation
accordingly, like there's issuesand we're still not cool, you
know, like whatever whatever itis you're gonna address that.
But an emotional man, insecureman, is gonna like take it far
left you know I agree.

Speaker 4 (01:02:17):
I agree cause I felt like, if you're not, you said
it's funny people come up to youlike so, and so said that about
you like bro well.

Speaker 3 (01:02:23):
I mean that's how they feel.

Speaker 1 (01:02:25):
I'm not giving you nothing.

Speaker 4 (01:02:26):
Live like that, you know because I, because for me
personally, if, if I everconsider you a friend and we
fell out, I'm not gonna go saywhatever, I'm just gonna say no,
we just don't rock with youexactly like he know, he know,
he know he knows, and I knowwhat happened and we had a
falling out.
It is what it is, but I'm notgoing to speak ill of you

(01:02:47):
because at some point you knowyou were, you were my friend.
But I do agree with duke sayinglike when, when you have a
person who's not securingthemselves, and so now they're
looking for, now they're lookingfor, uh, security, they're
looking for companionship, sothey'll, they're looking for
validation, so they'll, they'llgo to someone that they also
don't like you, and then they'llburn, they'll, they'll, they'll

(01:03:08):
uh, start a friendship basedoff not liking you, and that
that's their bond.

Speaker 3 (01:03:13):
Women do that.
Women do that as well.

Speaker 2 (01:03:16):
I've seen it.

Speaker 5 (01:03:18):
Women do that as well , yeah it's fun.

Speaker 2 (01:03:21):
I'll say, because I don't like beating around the
bush.
But, honestly, for me, when Isee situations, I usually don't
like confrontation.
But at the same token, when I,when I feel like I have to
engage in conversation, Iusually feel like I'm pushed

(01:03:42):
there.
And when it does happen, if Ifeel like I can't have a honest
back and forth conversationabout you with it, I'm going to
cut you off like a faucetbecause there's no.
If there's no, if I, if I'mseeing in the, in the, the heat
of whatever's going on, thatthere's no, there's not going to

(01:04:04):
be a resolution to this, thatyou're going to still stand on
whatever you are trying to pushand vice versa to what I'm
trying to explain to you andyou're just going gonna go
whatever feeling you're gonna gowith, and I see no end game
here I'm gonna just say fucking,cut you off like a faucet.
So we're watching this.
Take however the fuck you wantto take it.

Speaker 3 (01:04:23):
Oh my goodness, jesus , I know you.
And what's the next question?

Speaker 4 (01:04:28):
I mean.
I mean, what he's saying istrue.
It's like because I'm gonnajust say it.
I I'm going to say it Becauseit's like, like I said earlier,
are we having a conversation tohave a resolution?
Are we having a conversation soyou can get your point across?
Yeah Right.
So if we're having aconversation only so you can get
your point across, there's nopoint in talking, because by you
only focusing on getting yourpoint across, you're now

(01:04:51):
shitting on my feelings.

Speaker 3 (01:04:53):
Oh, you got a good point.

Speaker 4 (01:04:54):
Because now you're saying what I feel don't fucking
matter, because that's not howyou see it.
That's why I always say I nevertalk to nobody when I'm angry,
because if I talk to you whenI'm angry and you're steady
being combative with me, now,like I said earlier, now I got
to puff my chest.

Speaker 3 (01:05:12):
Now, like Kat said, now I got to get on the line boy
, boy, now we gotta get on theline.

Speaker 4 (01:05:14):
So that's part of my maturity.
I mature to the point where, no, let me calm down, and then we
can have a let me calm down, letyou calm down.
Then we can have an honestconversation about what happened
.
And if we can't come to aresolution, it is what it is,
but at least let's be in a theright mind space to have the
conversation yeah, cooler heads,yeah, simple as that the right

(01:05:34):
mind space to have theconversation.

Speaker 1 (01:05:35):
Yeah, cooler heads, yes, yeah, simple as that.

Speaker 4 (01:05:37):
But I know cause, I know me personally, I don't, I
don't act.
Uh, I don't act, uh positivelyto passive aggressiveness, to
active.
It's definitely activeaggressive because I meet
aggression with aggressionbecause, at the end of the day,
I'm a man.
My balls drop just like yoursdid.
Man, my balls dropped, justlike yours did.
We're going to see who hangslower today, so you can address
me respectfully and I'll addressyou respectfully.

(01:05:58):
Or, like they say, we can getinto some gangster shit.

Speaker 3 (01:06:03):
We don't need to get into some gangster shit at the
house.

Speaker 1 (01:06:05):
I don't want you telling me about your balls
hanging, balls dropping and shit.
No more.

Speaker 2 (01:06:10):
I just say, at the end of the day, what I'm saying
is causing some sort of if youstill can't do it in a calm,
whatever back and forth.
It's not going to go well.
So, with that being said, thisis episode 161 of the

(01:06:31):
Heavyweight Podcast.
I am your anti-social host withthe smoke, with this lady, this
special guest and these twoguys.
One more time.

Speaker 1 (01:06:44):
With your powers combined.
I am Captain Gap Gapton Bandon,Gapton Bandon.

Speaker 4 (01:06:52):
She's your boy Molito .

Speaker 5 (01:06:54):
She's your boy Lethal .
It's your boy.

Speaker 3 (01:06:55):
Dukes in the South and I'm Des the Diva like
subscribe, share, comment.

Speaker 2 (01:07:01):
All that shit till next time, peace it's a wrap.

Speaker 1 (01:07:08):
That's all she wrote.
Folks, thanks for tuning inonce again.
You can check us out on allstreaming platforms Click like,
subscribe, leave some comments.
You know what I'm saying?
Is it Monday, yet Hello, everyMonday you got new episodes, so
tune in.
Have a blessed one.