173. Stop Relationship Arguments Before They Start: Discover Your Time Communication Type

Your arguments about being late or craving more structure might have less to do with behavior and more to do with how your brain relates to time. Could the tension you feel with a partner, friend, or colleague be tied to a mismatch in how you each experience it?

 

Alejandra Siroka joins life coach Sara L. Allen to talk about the concept of time types, how some people live in a more fluid, expansive relationship with time, while others move through it with structure and intention. Alejandra explains the difference between these time-type brain patterns, and how these patterns show up in daily life, often creating miscommunication, arguments and conflicts.

 

Have you ever felt disrespected because someone ran late or been on the other side, feeling rushed and resented for simply following your natural rhythm? Alejandra shares examples from her own marriage and client work that reveal how these differences in time perception can quietly strain even the most loving relationships.

 

This episode is an invitation to notice your own patterns, to listen differently, and to support the people around you in ways that feel less reactive and more respectful. How would your relationships shift if you stopped assuming and started asking about time?

 

Quotes

• “Most couples’ arguments are based on this idea of time and how they blame each other for something they don’t even know they have, which is the concept of time.” (10:57 | Alejandra Siroka)
• “When we realized that our concept of time, the way our brains organize time was different, and it was not a personality trait. And this is very important to understand. Even though there are things you can do to support yourself and shift how your brain is organizing this concept of time, it is not personality. We were able to trace back arguments we’ve had for years.” (11:58 | Alejandra Siroka)
• “For through-timers, being late produces a lot of anxiety, a lot of fear internally... I want my beloved to have a very steady and wonderful, relaxed nervous system.” (13:41 | Alejandra Siroka)
• “This is not a tool to diagnose others. Once you have it within yourself and you can see where you are in the spectrum, then talk to the people in your life and have them assess where they are, and then you can have beautiful and meaningful conversations about how you can support each other so that you can decrease your arguments, especially with those you live with, your closest friends.” (21:16 | Alejandra Siroka)
• “Having this understanding about how our brain organizes time is very useful. So that the in-timer can ask the through-timer, ‘Does this time work?’ And if it doesn’t, the through-timer can say, ‘Not at this moment, but I’d love to hear what you’d like to say this evening after we put the kids to bed.’ So this is how we can really support each other in communication.” (23:14 | Alejandra Siroka)

 

Links

Discover Your Time Type Checklist: https://www.languagealchemy.com/timetype

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Podcast Music composed by Gary Lapow: open.spotify.com/artist/1HlMhcNfKIELxYil5mVqD