December 13, 2024 • 44 mins
In this lively episode of 'The Mental Funny Bone,' hosts Sarah and Christine dive into their unique take on mental health and wellness, peppered with personal anecdotes and humor. The duo navigates everything from early morning recording struggles and wardrobe mishaps to feedback on their podcast. They reminisce about chaotic weekends, a wild bar encounter, and festive decorating traditions. They also dig into their latest book discussion on overcoming the fear of others' opinions, particularly focusing on Beethoven's life and struggles. Throughout the episode, Christine and Sarah keep the laughter rolling while sharing relatable life lessons and their own vulnerabilities.
How to find mental health help when you're struggling. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists
https://washingtoncountyhumanservices.com/agencies/behavioral-health-developmental-services
https://www.alleghenycounty.us/Services/Human-Services-DHS/Publications/Resource-Guides
Apps - Just search mental health where you get your apps.
EAP programs are a great place to look for help!!
Additional Resources (Sports Related):
https://globalsportmatters.com/health/2020/12/04/mental-health-resources-2/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Sarah (00:03):
Hello and welcome to the mental funny bone.
I am Sarah.
She's Christine.
She's going to talk now.
Chris (00:10):
we are not mental health professionals, but we do
endeavor to shine a little bitof light on mental health,
wellness, and how we go fromstruggle to wellness.
if you do need to talk to amental health professional,
which we both highly recommend,please check out our show notes
and go out there and get you atherapist, cause it might be the
(00:32):
thing that changes your life forthe better,
Sarah (00:34):
Amen.
Amen.
I like that.
Chris (00:37):
make the sign of the cross and we can move on.
Sarah (00:40):
and also with you,
Chris (00:41):
with you too is what they say now, maybe, I don't know, I
can't, it's been a while.
It's been a while since I'vebeen to church.
Sarah (00:48):
feel like that's wrong.
It should always be.
And also with you, I feel like Iresponded to somebody's texts
with that statement and alsowith you recently.
I don't know why.
Okay.
We're recording early today.
Chris (01:01):
In the morning early,
Sarah (01:03):
Yeah.
So I have sleepy Sarah.
I don't have like normal sleepySarah hair though.
It's normally a lot more rowdythan this.
Chris (01:12):
you have been touching it a lot in the last half an hour.
You have been like, there's justone bump in the back.
You haven't been able to quiteget to yet.
So there it is.
You got it.
Sarah (01:21):
Yeah, okay.
Slickin it down.
Chris (01:23):
Yep.
You look great.
Sarah (01:25):
Christine is out of town, so she's all professional
looking, except for the amountof boob that she's showing.
When you're sitting like that,you can't see your boobs.
Just don't bend over.
Chris (01:36):
I feel like I'm just going to, I feel like I'm going
to do the same thing I do everytime I put this blouse on, and I
think it is, the time has comefor me to take this blouse off,
put it in a drawer here in thishotel room and never, take it
home.
Sarah (01:49):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Once you wear something, Ireally like the blouse though,
so that seems
Chris (01:55):
I
Sarah (01:55):
But once you wear it so many times and you know that
you're irritated with it so manytimes, just,
Chris (02:02):
Yeah, I'd like it.
It's really cute.
it's a beautiful, like beigeypeachy color that goes perfectly
with this, wooly blazer I'mwearing.
But
Sarah (02:11):
Alright, moving on.
Chris (02:13):
Moving on.
Yes.
Thank you.
I appreciate you moving on.
Sarah (02:18):
anytime, I don't think we've really got any fan mail
this week.
Mm
Chris (02:23):
Um, I did get to have dinner with jamie r this
Sarah (02:28):
RM.
Chris (02:29):
and she did say again That it's really good.
The podcast is really good.
And she recommended it to theother friend we were eating
dinner with.
So
Sarah (02:37):
I love that.
I love that.
Especially coming from her.
I really think that she's onethat wouldn't just
Chris (02:45):
go,
Sarah (02:45):
lie.
so sorry, I'm putting a shot onmy lips because I have multiple
cold sores, even though I takethe cold sore medicine every
day.
Chris (02:54):
we also got really good feedback on our episode titles.
So I was talking to work peoplelast night about the podcast and
my buddy, James B, podcast andstarted reading out the titles.
get your dicks out of the oven.
Sarah (03:11):
Yeah.
Chris (03:12):
And I was like,
Sarah (03:13):
titles.
Chris (03:13):
that was last week's episode, Sarah, get your dicks
out of the oven.
Spotted dick.
Remember
Sarah (03:18):
didn't listen to last week's episode cause everything
in my life has been crazy sinceThursday.
So I'm going to have to listento that today.
Fantastic.
And that's all you.
So that's feedback for you, man.
Chris (03:29):
he was like all the dick jokes.
I was like, there's just one,but it's really funny.
Sarah (03:33):
but.
Chris (03:34):
it twice
Sarah (03:35):
Yeah.
Yep.
Chris (03:37):
blue balls.
I was like, Yes.
Sarah (03:39):
Yeah.
We're, you're good at the namingof the episodes.
Chris (03:42):
Blue star ointment for the mind.
He was like, these are, I wantto listen to all of them.
I was like, yeah, that's how itgoes.
look at the most listened toepisode past episode six.
It's a.
Blue balls,
Sarah (03:54):
And hey, what, it should be saying in the episode.
So I feel like it's not justmade up to lure you in.
Like every one of your titles isa line that is said.
So I feel like it's an accuratedescription of what you're about
to hear.
Chris (04:10):
right?
If you think that title isfunny, there's a line in the
podcast where we say that lineand then laugh like hyenas.
So all fair.
Um, what do you got for catch upthis week?
I feel like the week has it onlybeen a week since.
no, it's been two weeks sinceThanksgiving.
Like I'm so confused on what dayit is.
since we've gotten pastThanksgiving, I have all sense
(04:33):
of space and time is gone forme.
Like I
Sarah (04:36):
Spacetime Continuum.
Chris (04:38):
no idea what is happening right now.
I am in Philly and I know that Ihave meetings.
I also know that I'm notprepared as much as I would like
to be for these meetings becauseit's just been nutty.
All over the place.
Professionally, personally, it'sbeen crazy.
I don't know how everyone else'sDecember is, but it's just
wacky.
Sarah (04:58):
Nutty.
All over the place.
Is what you just said.
Nani, nani, no, nani all overthe place is what you just said.
And I didn't hear anything pastthat.
but my,
Chris (05:11):
there's our title.
Sarah (05:13):
my, weekend, there was a lot going on this weekend.
I was a bad mom.
Chris (05:20):
Oh no.
Sarah (05:21):
yeah, I don't know if you've seen my latest Facebook
posts.
we had a lot of things going onand I did not take pictures like
a mom should.
we had the soccer banquet onThursday and then we went to
Lancaster, wherever, however youwant to say it, for, his first,
cup soccer tournament or clubsoccer.
I don't know what they call it
Chris (05:40):
That's soccer we pay for.
Sarah (05:42):
Yeah.
The soccer that costs too much.
we went to his first tournamentthis weekend and that's why I
have cold sores all over mymouth because number one, I
drank entirely too much onThursday and woke up, I don't
And I haven't recovered theproper,
Chris (05:58):
Hydration.
Sarah (05:59):
hydration.
I was going to say liquid in mybody.
I haven't recovered that quiteyet.
yeah, hydration in my body.
Same thing.
I couldn't think of hydration.
so yeah, so I haven't quiterecovered from that yet.
And then I was out in the,Arctic weather.
It was so fucking cold onSaturday.
Like unreal cold that we had tostand in and watch soccer.
(06:25):
yeah, so that's what we did.
It was fun.
They did well.
Owen did well on Saturday.
He had a really nice, assist inthe second game.
but I think he got over hislittle jitters for the first
tournament.
So yeah,
Chris (06:38):
most important soccer tournament question.
did you meet up with the parentsin the bar?
Were there a cluster of parentslike around the coach trying to
provide sage advice on how towin the next game?
Sarah (06:50):
that was actually Thursday night at the bar after
the soccer tournament with aheist or after the soccer
banquet with the high schoolcoaches, I'm not sure we were
really giving advice.
We were doing shots.
Chris (07:03):
No.
Sarah (07:04):
Like after the banquet, we didn't get home until after
midnight.
I think we left the bar atmidnight.
Like we sent our kids home causesome of them can drive now.
So I was like, Hey, can you justtake my, I'm sending my kid home
with yours.
That's great.
Okay.
Everybody else to the bar.
cause it was in a hotel.
So we went to the hotel bar andI know you'll find this
(07:24):
fascinating.
I got reprimanded by thebartender for swearing.
Chris (07:28):
What?
Sarah (07:29):
Yeah,
Chris (07:30):
I am.
Shocked
Sarah (07:32):
I mean
Chris (07:33):
is the, give me the context.
is the bartender like an olderguy?
is he offended because you're ayoung lady?
Sarah (07:40):
I think he just didn't like me to be honest from the
first drink I ordered he wasjust not a friendly individual
Chris (07:46):
Ah,
Sarah (07:47):
And I
Chris (07:47):
Thursday night.
And he's what the hell?
Sarah (07:50):
if the joint was fucking jumping it's a hotel by the
airport like it has to be likethat all week Especially now
with like holiday parties andshit.
Anyway, Yeah, and I can't evenremember like somebody asked me
what were you saying that yougot reprimanded and I was like,
I don't know I'm guessing I'msaying fuck after every word But
that's I'm 46 years old and Iliterally cannot remember any
(08:12):
time that I got reprimanded forswearing in a bar
Chris (08:17):
Like
Sarah (08:18):
ever.
Chris (08:19):
Yeah.
I can remember gettingreprimanded,
Sarah (08:21):
And that's what, and I remember being like, and I was
talking to the coaches and Ithink it was one of the coaches.
It was like, Hey, the bartendertold you to chill out with your
language or some shit like that.
And I was like, Oh, okay.
I don't really remember what myresponse was.
But then when I sobered up andthought about it, it's what
shit?
Maybe it's cause it was.
a hotel bar, but like it wasliterally after 11 o'clock at
(08:43):
night.
Chris (08:43):
Listen,
Sarah (08:44):
where's the kiddie table?
I'm not sure.
what are we talking about here?
Chris (08:47):
as a veteran of many hotel bars, after 11 PM.
No.
There, there are no,
Sarah (08:53):
There's
Chris (08:54):
no etiquette.
Really.
I don't
Sarah (08:56):
kids table.
I don't understand.
What are we, what's happening?
Okay, fine.
Whatever.
Chris (09:01):
But go back to the part where you're doing shots.
You are 50.
Sarah (09:05):
I am not 50.
First fucking of all,
Chris (09:09):
Wait, I'm 50.
Sarah (09:10):
you take that back.
Chris (09:11):
Wait, I'm 50.
You're not
Sarah (09:13):
said I'm 46.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I But yeah, I thought it was agood idea staying out till
midnight.
And by this point I had probablyhad 15 beers.
Chris (09:26):
Is it, is it one of these situations where one of the
young kids was like, Hey, ifyou, oh, guys don't wanna do
shots.
you don't have to,
Sarah (09:34):
Yeah, I think maybe I was like, I'm not scared.
I'm not, are you scared?
I'm not scared.
when I got scared like at 1am
Chris (09:42):
Did you have to put your foot down on the side of the
bed?
Sarah (09:45):
when I was crawling to the bathroom.
That's when I got scared.
Chris (09:51):
Oh my god.
Sarah (09:53):
felt and what's really upsetting is that yes, I threw
up Thursday night and when Ithrew up I was like excellent I
got it all out of my system andit was so much better for that
four hour drive.
We have tomorrow awesome If thatwas not the case, I threw up
again Friday morning and stillfelt like a big dong turd.
Chris (10:11):
Oh my god.
Sarah (10:12):
Yeah, I did it I really anyway.
So the tournament though, we haddinner, after our second game on
Saturday and got to talk to someof the parents and this was our
first time meeting them, but wereally didn't do anything after
that because our game on Sundaywas at 8 AM and we had to be
there at 7 15.
(10:33):
I was ready to go.
I had a few beers at dinner andI was like, all right, where are
we going?
Chris (10:37):
Is there, was there, see I think the, you also need to be
aware of who's picking the hoteland the requirement for, maybe
not so much at this age, but apool and a bar.
Like these are two things thatabsolutely have to happen at any
soccer tournament hotel.
Sarah (10:55):
Yeah, I feel like we all just bring our own alcohol, so
Chris (10:58):
no, you can bring it to the bar.
Sarah (11:00):
yeah, just a lobby, really, I feel like that's it,
or a room, I, mommy and daddydid this On our trips growing
up, one of my, one of my cupfriends from Beatling actually
sent me a message yesterday and,I was like, Hey, I've been
thinking about you a lot latelywith, Owen just starting this
adventure.
And she was like, wow, do youever think like how our parents
(11:21):
dealt with us?
And I was like, oh, I knowexactly how my parents dealt
with me.
My dad drank and my mom smoked.
Chris (11:26):
they, we were free range.
Sarah (11:28):
Yeah.
yeah, anyway, so it was a crazyweekend, but it was fun and I
will eventually, my lips, I willeventually regain my hydration.
Chris (11:38):
It's only Monday, Tuesday.
Day is it?
Tuesday.
Sarah (11:42):
way too early.
Chris (11:43):
so here's my weekend.
here's my Saturday.
I have my Saturday all laid out.
I'm like, I have to do some workfor, because I'm going to be out
of town, so I want to catch up,get ahead, so that I don't have
to end up working in the hotelroom at midnight every night.
So I'm going to do that.
I'm going to pay the bills,clean up, pack, get ready to
head out of town.
(12:04):
I picked up a new crochetingproject, so I wanted to do that.
Mostly I wanted to do thatbecause that's how ADD brains
work.
there were legit a thousandthings that needed to be done,
but no, nay, nay.
I will hyper focus just a tickon this brand new project.
thing that I added to my alreadybusy schedule to help me avoid
(12:25):
the things on my already busyschedule.
and then David's hey, we shoulddo something together today
because it's too cold to gohunting, which is what he would
normally be doing.
it's too cold to, piss around inthe garage.
We should do something together.
So then for the next four hours,I spent suggesting things that
we could do and then we didn'tdo them
Sarah (12:44):
Yeah.
Chris (12:46):
for four hours.
And I'm like, fine, let's justgo, let's go to Target in
Uniontown.
And then let's see what happensfrom there.
Sarah (12:54):
How many things can you suggest in four hours?
I feel like I can suggest, fivethings in a minute.
what kind of things are yousuggesting?
Chris (13:03):
no.
I'm suggesting.
And then there's a,contemplating part.
And there's a, yeah, I guess wecould do that.
And then there's a reluctance todo it.
And then there's a, I don't wantto do that.
And then there's a, no, we'renot going to do that.
And then, you just suggestsomething else after that.
do you want to go walk aroundSouth Hills village?
He's I don't want to spend anymoney.
I'm like, not a requirement.
Sarah (13:24):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Chris (13:26):
like, maybe five bucks for a pretzel,
Sarah (13:28):
you're a much better wife than I am because I'd have been
like, I don't know.
You figure it out.
You don't like what I'm saying.
You figure it out.
Guess who just woke up.
Chris (13:36):
macho.
bing.
Ding dong.
Ding
Sarah (13:40):
him shake his little, his whole body and his little tags
go.
So we'll see what he's going todo anyway.
Continue.
you guys end up doing?
Chris (13:48):
we went, we went to Target.
Oh, we went to Walmart becausewe had to get, space bags.
You know what space bags are?
Sarah (13:55):
I love space
Chris (13:56):
Yeah, we have a lot of, we have a lot of quilts.
Sarah (13:59):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Chris (14:00):
so we did that and then we went to, I think at some
point we got appetizers at someplace and I can't remember if it
was like, Oh no, Oh my God.
I have blocked something out ofmy brain until just now.
so we go to Applebee's to grabsome apps and a Christmas drink
because Applebee's has Christmasdrinks.
Like a drunk reindeer orsomething.
(14:22):
So I had one of those drunkreindeer had a little Santa
gummy floating in it.
Sarah (14:26):
Oh,
Chris (14:27):
I'm like, anyway, so have some French fries and, there is
a lady sitting on the, like meand David, and then there's a
lady sitting on the other sideof David and, she keeps trying
to strike up a conversation withDavid and David is pretending to
be deaf in that ear.
Sarah (14:43):
yeah.
Chris (14:44):
Because he's way smarter than I am.
And, David goes to the restroomand now she's got easy access to
the person who will talk to her.
Sarah (14:52):
Yeah.
Chris (14:53):
she apparently was dating Donald Trump and she had Hunter
Biden's phone number on herphone, because they're targeting
her as a white supremacist and Iwas like, who was doing this?
And she was like, I can't tellyou.
I can't tell you.
Okay.
and, and then she told me thatshe went to, she's I'm a doctor.
(15:16):
I was like, Oh, that's nice.
Sarah (15:19):
Bullshit.
Chris (15:19):
I didn't say that.
She's I went to chiropracticschool and I am biting my
tongue.
And, I'm like, She's and then Iquit chiropractic school and
went to medical school.
Okay, good.
glad to see you following yourdreams.
I'm a stranger.
Sarah (15:34):
Our I can't say it out loud.
That makes my stomach hurt.
Chris (15:37):
And then, and then it wasn't like her dating Donald
Trump wasn't political oranything, but apparently Donald
Trump was her boyfriend forseven years.
And then she was married for 20years.
And then she had anotherboyfriend for 16 years.
I was like, your math is wrong.
She was like, George Clooney.
I know something about him.
And I was like,
Sarah (15:57):
Only in Fayette County.
Chris (15:59):
right, She was like, the monkey bar on 51.
And I was like, how did we getthere?
Sarah (16:06):
So is, was George Clooney hanging out there?
Because I doubt it.
But
Chris (16:10):
she was like, oh yeah, I, my boyfriend, Scott, I was like,
is this the boyfriend betweenTrump and Merritt?
Sarah (16:16):
we're,
Chris (16:17):
so very confused.
And David is back and beinghelpful at this point.
She's like.
she went to Elizabeth Forward.
It's right there by the monkeybar.
She's you probably know myboyfriend, Scott.
And I was like, I might, what'sScott's last name?
And she was like, I can'tremember.
I was like, that's okay.
Sarah (16:34):
you probably know my boyfriend, Mike Smith.
Chris (16:37):
You probably know my boyfriend, Scott.
And then she was like, oh, shewas like, now I'm just big into
yoga.
And I was like, oh, I like yogatoo.
And she was like, listen, giveme your number.
Sarah (16:48):
No.
Chris (16:49):
And she was like, here's a piece of paper and a pen.
And never, ever in my wholelife.
Have I given somebody a fakephone number?
Sarah (16:55):
Until now.
I hope so.
Chris (16:57):
Oh yeah, for sure.
I was like, I don't even knowhow to do it.
do I change all the numbers?
Do I just change one of thenumbers?
Like, how
Sarah (17:04):
move on.
It's fine.
Chris (17:06):
do I give her my real name?
I was like,
Sarah (17:09):
No.
None of the above.
None of the above.
What you should have done, youneed to think on your feet
faster.
And you need to, shoot backwith, I dated Hunter Biden.
Chris (17:21):
I don't know why his number would be on your phone.
Sarah (17:23):
Yeah.
And be like, is that the rightnumber?
Let me see what my number is.
Chris (17:28):
then she was like, yeah, I'll just put your number in my
phone.
when I get my phone back,
Sarah (17:33):
Yeah.
I don't like her.
I don't, she's,
Chris (17:36):
David, David was like, did you have fun?
I was like, no, I didn't.
That was scary.
Sarah (17:40):
now worried for my life.
Yeah.
Nope.
Nope.
Nope.
Nope.
Nope.
so what should you guys do afterthat?
Chris (17:49):
we went home.
Cause it was like, it was dark.
Sarah (17:52):
Yeah.
Chris (17:53):
So it was like 5.
15.
Sarah (17:55):
Yeah, I'm still having trouble with the darkness.
not that it's making me sad, butjust comprehending the actual
time.
Chris (18:01):
again,
Sarah (18:01):
we were getting closer to Lancaster on Friday, like we
left around one ish or two ish,something like that.
So when we were getting there,it was like six ish maybe.
And
Chris (18:13):
obviously midnight.
Sarah (18:14):
yeah, mommy had texted me to ask if we left yet.
And I'm guessing she didn't knowwe took the day off work.
So expected at five 30, this wasat five 30.
And no, I was like, what are youdoing?
I said, text my mom back.
She wanted to know if we leftyet.
And he was like, why she just,anyway, we were both like, wow,
it's only 5
Chris (18:32):
in, in reels news this week,
Sarah (18:35):
Oh yeah.
I haven't been keeping up withyour reels, David.
Chris (18:38):
I discovered the perfect reel.
it's one from Schitt's Creekwhere it is a compilation of
Alexis saying, David, David,you, David, right.
Nom noms, David.
Like, and I sent it to David andhe's like, that's funny.
I was
Sarah (18:54):
Yeah.
Has he watched Schitt's Creek?
Chris (18:56):
no, he was like, it sounds like you.
I'm like, yeah.
All right, that is, that is allthe, that is all the catch up I
think we have to do.
Do you have a gastro story ofthe week?
Sarah (19:06):
I do, I, Yeah.
Chris (19:08):
do you remember when our mother would get the Christmas
decorations out?
Sarah (19:12):
It was a process.
I was just telling someone aboutthe decorating of the downtown
Elizabeth house.
Chris (19:16):
Oh, I don't, I'm thinking way back, way, way back.
I'm thinking silk wrappedornaments that would then fray
string shit everywhere.
Sarah (19:27):
And everything smelled like mothballs.
Chris (19:30):
A hundred percent.
There were the number of waxbased decorations that had been
up in the attic and melted, butwe're still put out in slightly
misshapen forms, like a Santasled that was maybe a candle and
it
Sarah (19:45):
There was a whole scene that was a candle, and every
year they decayed a little bit.
Chris (19:50):
melted a little bit further and your mom would
pretend to let us help with theChristmas tree.
Sarah (19:56):
This is funny because I was, I think I was just telling
Noah about the decorating ofChristmas.
And he was like, I just don'tsee your mom letting you help
touching anything.
And I was like, she gave us someold shit to take in our rooms
and make it feel like we weredoing something.
Chris (20:14):
we had individual Christmas trees that we were
allowed to touch.
Sarah (20:17):
Yeah.
The little tinsel ones,
Chris (20:18):
I feel,
Sarah (20:19):
because it had little things that you just stuck out
of it, like on toothpicks.
Chris (20:22):
right.
And then you put them, the wayyou stored it was each
individual branch of tinselcame, came in its own tube.
Sarah (20:31):
Yeah.
Chris (20:31):
And at the end of the season, you would slide it into
this little tube and it was oneof the most satisfying things to
pull that out of the tube andhave they go and plump up.
Sarah (20:41):
Yeah.
Chris (20:42):
fabulous.
Fabulous.
I've tried to buy that tree somany times and been so
disappointed with what I'vegotten to.
Instead, it's not the same,
Sarah (20:52):
no.
I bought one for Owen.
I don't even know where it isnow.
We may have thrown it out.
but it was more like a realtree, not a real tree, a real
fake tree.
I don't know if that makessense.
You know what I mean?
like it didn't have theindividual things.
I was like, this doesn't, Idon't like this.
it's still tinsely and his wasblue, but yeah, I remember
(21:15):
trying to string up lights.
but not being able to make themstick.
Like I wanted them on thewindow, but I was using scotch
tape.
Chris (21:23):
right,
Sarah (21:24):
are the things, like I was challenged and there was no
help from outside.
Chris (21:28):
right.
There's, I do remember this inthe front window, because I
think we were both working onthis, but we won't remember that
the other one was there.
I don't know how we keep erasingeach other from our memories,
but I am 100 percent
Sarah (21:43):
of, logical shit there to explore, but go ahead.
Chris (21:47):
Because I remember, I was like, all right, I don't think,
cause I don't think our dad wasbig on putting the lights
outside.
I don't think like there werewreaths with spotlights on them
is what I remember.
Like those were our outside
Sarah (21:59):
feel like it's good.
Chris (22:00):
Yeah.
And then I was like, if we canjust scotch tape the, the
Christmas lights to the insideof the window, and then you'll
be able to see them outside.
Sarah (22:08):
think we tried duct tape to one year.
I don't know, but it definitely,it wasn't working because it was
cold and it just doesn't work.
the tape on the window justdoesn't work
Chris (22:20):
And yeah, and they would fall down as soon as we put them
up.
And then I think we just, Ithink we just left them in
puddles on the windowsill.
Sarah (22:27):
Yep.
Said fuck it.
And that was it.
Chris (22:30):
And I
Sarah (22:31):
It was
Chris (22:31):
individual windows.
Sarah (22:33):
Decorating was a process.
And I remember she used to takeeverything off the walls and
replace it with somethingChristmas.
Chris (22:40):
There was a, there was a whole, there was a whole series,
like there was a wholecollection of cardboard boxes.
In the attic that had Christmaswritten on the side of them in
some very neat Anita script.
Sarah (22:53):
So much shit in every room.
Chris (22:56):
the living
Sarah (22:57):
feel like a disappointment considering that
I have a Christmas tree and likemy mantel's a little bit done.
Chris (23:04):
I have a ton of shit.
Sarah (23:06):
Yeah, you go overboard.
Your mom did well with you.
Chris (23:09):
I was well trained.
I'm down to, just three, threeChristmas trees this year.
I pared back.
Sarah (23:15):
see trees this year because we got a new one.
So I put the old one downstairs.
so downstairs and upstairs areboth decorated, but very
minimally, like just the tree isthe main focus and there's a
little bit of other shit around.
yeah,
Chris (23:29):
there are, there, there's a small tree.
So there's there's two big treesbecause we have to have the, we
have to have the fun tree.
And then we have to have onethat's decorated pretty, it's
got pretty decorations on it.
and then there's a small one inthe library because that's a
room that needs a tree.
And then by, by the fireplace,there's a tree and then the
(23:51):
mantle has a bunch of shit onit.
Yeah.
I feel like I absorbed all ofthat from your mother.
Like it looks, and I've reallypaired back.
Like when Olivia was little,they used to take me, I would
take off the week afterThanksgiving and spend every
single one of those daysdecorating.
Sarah (24:07):
that's a lot.
if I can't get it done in oneday or less, it's just not
happening.
And regardless of how hard Ifucking try, I always find one
or two leftover fall decorationsthat I missed.
Always.
Like I just saw the other day, Ihave a pumpkin and a squirrel
out by the calendar, and Ididn't take those down.
Chris (24:27):
Nita had a ton of boxes.
Sarah (24:29):
we do love the Christmas decorating.
I will say one thing when wemoved to Elizabeth, Anita,
Downtown Elizabeth, Anita uppedher game and everything was
real.
Chris (24:39):
Oh my God.
Yes.
Now I remember like the wholebanister, why I've blocked that
out is it was, It was theChristmas dance,
Sarah (24:49):
Yeah.
Yeah.
We had to take our pictures onthe steps
Chris (24:53):
there was
Sarah (24:53):
and there was a turtleneck under a dress shirt
involved.
Chris (24:57):
and there was somebody wearing MC Hammer pants, we did
not have a successful time, atthat particular dance, we did
not do well,
Sarah (25:05):
Yeah.
my date was fun and didn't tryto date me.
so that was cool.
anyway, moving along, yeah, Nitaupped her game.
We would get the tallest.
Cause I swear to God, theceilings in that house were 20
feet tall.
and the, the ceilings downstairswere 20 feet tall.
The ceilings upstairs were six.
(25:25):
Like I, yeah, I could literallytouch the
Chris (25:28):
miners.
Sarah (25:29):
And I'm short.
So that's what, like what I wastaught, I was telling Noah about
it this weekend.
I literally, I was like, I'mpretty sure they were 20 feet
tall.
I swear to God, because.
There was no, no space upstairs,which is where we lived.
anyway.
Oh, do you want to get toactually talk about the book?
Chris (25:47):
Yeah, let's talk about the book.
New book this week, guys.
New book.
Michael Gervais, wrote a bookcalled The Most Important Thing.
I don't think that's it, but
Sarah (25:56):
no.
It's the first rule of mastery.
Stop worrying about what peoplethink of you.
Chris (26:02):
The Most Important Thing.
Sarah (26:03):
Is that the most important thing or where did you
come up with the most importantthing?
Chris (26:07):
The first rule of mastery translates in my head to the
most important thing.
Sarah (26:11):
Oh, okay.
Chris (26:13):
So there you go.
Yeah, I listened to theintroduction and the first
chapter this morning while I wasgetting ready And I think I
think lots of good things rightlike Lots of stuff that ties
into everything that, that we'vebeen thinking about.
And the, one of the first thingshe talks about is being able to,
(26:37):
being able to focus on thethings that you can control.
Sarah (26:40):
Yeah, that's it.
That's a big part of it.
And I know that we've talkedabout it before but I feel like
it's worth saying again the bigthing in this book is faux pas,
which I think we talked about atthe beginning of our adventure
here And that's fear.
of people's opinions Be thubbin
Chris (26:59):
And, I think chapter one is a great story about, your
favorite composer, who's yourfavorite composer or the rest of
us call him Beethoven.
Sarah (27:07):
Yeah, whatever.
You know that in, in this firstchapter, there was also mention
of Yosemite.
Chris (27:15):
I heard that as well.
Sarah (27:16):
Because the was climbing Yosemite.
Chris (27:18):
Yosemite to the rest of us,
Sarah (27:20):
So it's Beethoven.
Chris (27:22):
right?
It's Beethoven and, Beethoven'ssecret is the name of the
chapter.
I believe.
Sarah (27:28):
Yeah, and I was really intrigued.
I was like, what's his secret?
that's interesting.
Let's find out what his secretis and he was deaf which I did
not know and I feel Like I knewthis at some point in my life
But it was one of those thingslike geography or the UK that I
just didn't care enough about Tokeep in the noggin, like it's
(27:52):
one of the things that got sentout when I was trying to make
space.
And so when I read it, that'sliterally the first note I have
for chapter one in my notes is Ihad no clue that Beethoven was
deaf.
None.
None.
Chris (28:08):
That's hilarious.
Hilarious.
Sarah (28:10):
it's not like he was born deaf though.
Chris (28:12):
no.
He lost his hearing.
Sarah (28:14):
happened over time.
but yeah.
So this was learning experiencefor me.
but they talk about, howBeethoven had a huge fear of
others opinions.
and at first that really wasn'tworking out for him.
He socially isolated himself sohe didn't have to deal with it.
(28:34):
and that, then they startedtalking about, the daddy issues.
Chris (28:38):
His dad was a dick.
Sarah (28:39):
yeah.
And it basically conditioned himto believe that there was no
love to be had unless he wasperforming.
There's no love to be had unlessother people thought you were
worth it.
Chris (28:50):
yeah, what a shame.
What a shame.
Sarah (28:52):
Yeah, I wrote here, Parenting Lesson of the Day.
Let's not make love a directresult of a child's performance
and achievements.
Chris (29:00):
I mean it's This is hard, right?
Like I remember when Olivia wasin like first grade, third
grade, you know She's inelementary school and she you
know She comes home with a B onher report card and I was like,
what is this?
What?
You got to try harder.
fifth grade, like at some pointwhere, I thought maybe effort
(29:21):
would be related to grades andit's interesting, that, that
even today, she's I don't knowwhat to do if I'm going to get a
C.
And I was like, yeah, sorryabout that.
the older you get, the less itmatters.
you want to do the best that youcan with what you got.
is really the trick and beingable to make sure that they're
like functioning humans, at thesame time, you don't base your
(29:44):
love on their performance in anyone specific area, like just try
to do a good, try to take thegifts and talents that you have
and make the most of them.
Sarah (29:53):
Yeah, it's tough.
It's a tough balance because youdon't want them to just be lazy
fucks and you want them to putthe effort forth when you know
they're smart enough, but youalso don't want it to be.
That's what it's all about.
And that's the only thing thatit's about.
it makes me think of my oneFacebook post like other moms.
Talking about getting all A'sand eating your broccoli and
(30:17):
whatnot.
And then there's me over theregoing, just don't be an asshole.
Chris (30:20):
Right.
Sarah (30:21):
I feel like that's pretty much what I have focused on.
However, I do get I'm fine withB's.
The C's are annoying to mebecause I know that he can do
better than that.
And the only reason he's, he gota C was because he didn't do his
homework.
that's different.
But with Beethoven, it wasliterally the only way he got
any love.
From his dad
Chris (30:42):
A bit different.
Bit different.
Sarah (30:43):
if he was, performing and then that performance, that was
that raped in his.
His status, right?
Am I saying that?
so that's what he basedeverything on throughout his
whole life.
And then he felt how willpeople, what will people think
if I'm standing there and theycan hear some music in the
(31:06):
background and they make mentionof it and I can't hear it.
So instead of facing that, I'mjust going to go ahead and, sit
alone at home.
And that's it.
Chris (31:17):
the conclusion of the chapter I think is the thing,
like it's a whole, it's a wholestory about how he tries to hide
it and how he tries to run awayfrom it.
And some of the background aboutwhy, like my worth is completely
based on me being a skilledperformer and having this
position in society.
And his perception is that if Idon't.
(31:40):
if I let people know that I'mdeaf, I won't have that.
And then who am I if I'm not theperson?
And I think at the end, andcorrect me if I'm wrong,'cause I
might've dipped out about fiveminutes early from the
recording, like at the end, hediscovers that the thing that
he, the thing that he cancontrol is the music that he can
(32:01):
make in his head when he'sfocusing on that and the music
that he can make in his head.
And.
Share with the world is thething that's the most important,
right?
It's the, if I can do this, thenmy success and other people's
opinion matters so much lessthan me being able to exist in
(32:21):
my head and compose this musicand who cares, who knows, like
who cares, who knows, and beingable to get to that point.
yeah, I think is the, like thewhole chapter one is about, Hey,
here's a good example of onceyou let go of the kind of, hang
up of worrying about what otherpeople are going to think, and
(32:42):
you can focus on the stuff thatyou can control and change and
the stuff that matters to you,then you are happier, more
fulfilled and more successful.
Sarah (32:51):
Yeah, that's pretty much it.
just like Michael Gervais saysin the introduction, just like
any self help, the first step isacceptance.
And like FOPO, you need torecognize that it's there.
And what he's going to dothroughout this book is talk
about how we can use FOPO to asan advantage to ourselves.
So it's not something that wejust ignore, but it's something
(33:15):
that we can accept and Try tounderstand better and make it
positive,
Chris (33:21):
It's the,
Sarah (33:22):
lives and Beethoven, I wrote this, what he, his basic
acceptance of it is what hewrote and it was, I would have
put an end to my life, only artit was that withheld me.
It seemed possible, impossibleto leave the world until I had
produced all that I felt calledupon me to produce.
(33:44):
Patience, they say, is what Imust now choose for my guide,
and I have done so.
Chris (33:49):
yeah, I like that.
B7 smart guy.
Sarah (33:52):
yeah, smart guy.
So he finally said, fuck it.
I know I have more to offer, andso I'm going to take the one
thing I can control, and that'smy patience, and figuring it all
out, and that's what I'm goingto give the world.
Chris (34:04):
Yeah, exactly.
looking at, looking at, shit.
I hate it when I lose thethought.
I'm totally distracted by 800things that just wandered into
my mind.
nevermind.
I
Sarah (34:16):
With this book, the first rule of mastery, it's really
these first couple of chaptersor the introduction and the
first chapter is really justtalking about Foucault, about
mastery and how he, he beingMichael Gervais, defines mastery
as the inner directed lifeexternally expressed.
(34:36):
So you're able to look moreinternally, than.
externally.
Chris (34:41):
and using your FOPO as like the string to pull on,
like, why am I afraid?
What, like when you feel thatcoming up, when you feel that,
oh, I don't want anyone to knowthis, or I don't, I'm afraid of
what people might think if I dothis.
what is he, what is the examplein the introduction?
Like not sharing an idea in themeeting?
(35:01):
Like what,
Sarah (35:02):
that's exactly what I was thinking because I do that shit
all the time, even like a one onone meeting.
Sometimes I'm like, Oh, I'm notgoing to say it.
Cause I'm not smart enough.
And then someone else brings itup and I'm like, Yeah.
I was thinking that dammitmother.
And what's funny is Owen askedme last night what I was reading
and I told him and, I said, stopworrying about what other people
think of you.
(35:22):
And he smiled and he was like,I'm pretty good at some of that
already.
He's definitely good at notgiving a fuck what his hair
looks like, what his clotheslook like his outward
appearance, he does not give ashit about.
And then we started chattingabout it and I was like, yeah,
there's a lot that you reallycan do.
Don't give two shits about whatother people think of you.
And I love that for you.
It's but this weekend we alsosaw some things that I think you
(35:45):
pulled back on because you wereafraid you were going to fuck it
up.
And he was like, true.
And I said, yeah, I think, in acouple instances within your
games, you didn't do what I knowthat you can do because you were
afraid.
That you are going to mess itup.
You didn't hold the ball as longas you could have.
You wanted to get rid of theball because you were afraid
that you were going to fuck itup if you held it.
Chris (36:07):
Olivia and I have this talk still to this day.
I'm like, don't believe, justbelieve.
Sarah (36:13):
So you know what to do.
You're given instructions andyou can't be afraid to try those
instructions out.
Chris (36:20):
right?
Yep.
Sarah (36:21):
but that's, there were a few other, what was the, what's
the word, a few other quotesthroughout the end of it,
throughout all of it that justmakes sense.
Like the more we value thingsoutside of our control, the less
control we actually have.
And that's the big part of it islooking at the things and
finding the things that you cancontrol, obsessing over the
(36:41):
things that you can't control.
It's just making.
Your mind batty.
Chris (36:46):
right.
it takes away from the energythat you could spend on the
things that you can change.
If you're like, I think about,spending so much time worrying
about, worrying about whatpeople at the gym back in the
day would think about my outfit.
Sarah (37:05):
Yeah.
Chris (37:05):
Okay, now instead of writing out like a workout plan,
I'm like, okay, I can wear the,if I wear these shorts, then I
have to wear these other shortsover top.
So then no one can see my butt.
I don't want to wear that tshirt because it's got like a
logo on it.
there's, I don't want people tothink I really like sandwiches
that much.
Sarah (37:25):
Oh, I love sandwiches.
The thing I really thought aboutwas How this is a constant in my
life and how it just changesareas
Chris (37:37):
huh.
Sarah (37:37):
Like my outward appearance.
I was very worried about that,you know earlier in life I still
like to look presentable Butthat's mostly because it makes
me feel better.
I just feel like I, I do better.
I feel better when I'mpresentable.
at the age of 23, daddy'swonderful words of no one gives
(37:59):
a shit about you.
That was huge for me.
And I've been able to embracethat in a lot of parts of my
life, except for when it comesto my confidence in being a
smart person, like that's whereI still really worry about what
other people think of me, Ican't say that cause it's
probably dumb.
And I preface a ton of shit atwork and with other people like
(38:22):
this is probably dumb, but likeI know I have a cold sore on my
face just so you know, I know.
Chris (38:28):
No, I think there's a there's a difference Like if I
point it out, then you don'thave to spend 15 minutes
worrying about whether or not I
Sarah (38:34):
yeah,
Chris (38:35):
I can it's
Sarah (38:35):
if I tell you I'm dumb first, you don't have to feel
bad about telling me I'm dumb,but I want you to know that this
isn't the thought I'm havingcause it might be not dumb.
Chris (38:45):
I have a thought
Sarah (38:46):
Yeah, I really that's something that I really need to
work on.
Chris (38:51):
I hide the, the hesitation and the doubt with
the phrase.
Does that make sense?
Sarah (39:00):
I do that as well Am I making sense?
Is this making sense?
I feel like it's not
Chris (39:04):
that make sense?
Like I'm looking at you and I'mstruggling to complete my
thought because I'm reallynervous about what I'm trying to
say.
So instead I'll just pausereally quickly and ask you if it
makes sense.
Does it make sense?
Idiot.
Sarah (39:16):
Yeah, so it's something like and I for a while was
Prided?
Prided?
I
Chris (39:21):
I
Sarah (39:21):
really thought I had the propo under control because a
large part of my life, I really,
Chris (39:27):
I do.
Sarah (39:28):
I do.
I, you have your opinion of mebecause you are a human being
and you're allowed to have thatopinion of me, but I'm not going
to let that make any differencein my life.
Like you're allowed to have thatopinion.
And if you don't like me, thenyou don't have to like me.
That's okay.
I'm cool on that front.
But when it comes to my ownintelligence, I have.
(39:48):
major faux pas.
So it's always a work inprogress.
Chris (39:53):
I think that's what's going to be fun about finishing
this book in a couple of weeksis being able to continue to
poke at that bruise, right?
Like I know I shouldn't, like Iknow no one gives a shit about
me.
So where are the areas wherethis is still a thing and why is
it a thing?
Like being able at, what did,what does he say?
The string to pull on, right?
I think being able to use thatas the string to pull on is
(40:16):
going to be.
Is going to be reallyinteresting, like
Sarah (40:19):
string to pull on like the string on the Christmas
ornament.
You just pull a little bit andyou keep pulling and pulling.
And eventually there's, you'rejust left with this foam ball.
Chris (40:28):
you end up with a whole handful of silk.
Sarah (40:31):
Wow, look at there.
Look what I found underneaththere.
Chris (40:34):
Your mother's don't do that.
Those are
Sarah (40:37):
Stop.
Chris (40:37):
We've had them for 15 years.
Sarah (40:39):
And a little hook, like one of the little hooks would
always grab onto another one.
Chris (40:44):
Oh yeah.
Oh, disaster.
And I feel like we had the sameartificial Christmas tree for 35
years,
Sarah (40:50):
at least.
Yeah.
Chris (40:52):
yet I can't keep one for more than three.
Sarah (40:54):
Yeah.
Chris (40:55):
I don't know.
Anyway,
Sarah (40:57):
know.
Chris (40:59):
All right.
how do we feel right now?
I think that's probably a goodspot to end on.
I think we've talked enoughabout the FOPO
Sarah (41:05):
Yeah.
As you can see outside thewindow, the sun has come up.
So I believe that it is time tomove on to regular daily
activities,
Chris (41:13):
Yep.
Sarah (41:13):
be fun because I was off work on Friday and off work
yesterday.
It's back to work for me.
So this is always a fun thingbecause I don't know if I've
mentioned it before.
I'm really fucking good at beingon vacation.
Chris (41:25):
if there were a job skill we could list it for me, it
would be, not being in theoffice.
Sarah (41:29):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm really good at ignoringemails and not paying attention
to any teams messages.
yeah.
So if anybody ever needs adviceon how to be on vacation, let me
know.
I will give you a lesson inthat.
So therefore, since I'm reallygood at being on vacation, I
have lots of emails to gothrough and lots of team
messages that I have alreadyclicked on.
(41:52):
So it, because I can't standthem looking all unread just
while I'm sitting here.
Chris (41:58):
Fascinating.
All right.
I got to go talk to a guy abouta contract and then we got to
talk to a lady who doesn'tunderstand it in 20 minutes.
Sarah (42:07):
Oh, that's so fun.
That is so fun.
I did get an email.
I got an email from someone onLinkedIn about a new job.
Chris (42:15):
There you go.
That's probably not a scam atall.
Sarah (42:18):
No, it might actually be one that I'm interested in and
not a scam.
Chris (42:23):
Get out.
Oh, I love when that happens
Sarah (42:25):
yeah, so I was reading that right before you sent the
invite for the meeting to start.
So that's the
Chris (42:31):
it's not from like a Nigerian Prince asking you for
your bank account informationthough, right?
Sarah (42:35):
No, I dream of that one all the time.
It never seems to happen to me.
Yeah, no,
Chris (42:40):
please be legit.
Please Nigerian.
Just give me all of the money,please
Sarah (42:45):
no.
Every, yeah, no.
Everything was in the email.
I didn't have to click on linksand give them my bank account
number or anything.
Chris (42:52):
Perfect.
No, I love it.
Love it
Sarah (42:54):
Okay.
I love you.
Have a great day, yourconference and all that shit.
and being important.
Chris (42:59):
Here I am.
Sarah (43:00):
Oh, wait, I had one more thing to note about work.
I'm sad about, there's sometraveling.
People are in Montreal this weekand I wasn't invited.
Chris (43:08):
Aww.
I'm so sorry.
Sarah (43:10):
Yeah, the ERP analysts, which we have been involved for
the last two years in thisyearly meeting, we got left out
this year,
Chris (43:18):
it's probably budget.
Sarah (43:19):
which kind of leaves me with a feeling of, yeah, I guess
we don't really add enough to bea part of it, which is probably
true.
Um, which maybe I shouldquestion more, but I really
don't, I'm just sad that I won'tbe there to drink with my
friends
Chris (43:32):
Right.
Sarah (43:33):
and this is, the, I'm going through a little bit of
FOMO.
Chris (43:37):
Oh, FOMO.
Sarah (43:38):
Fucking have fun without me.
And I don't like it.
Chris (43:40):
That, that is also hilarious.
I would like nothing more thanto be at home for more than
three weeks
Sarah (43:47):
yeah, no.
And now that like yesterday Ihad the day off, they were all
traveling and I got the houseclean, like I'm fine with it
other than the fact that they'regoing to have fun without me.
But at the end of the day, thisis really much better.
Chris (44:01):
It is.
Sarah (44:02):
And at four o'clock I could be like peace while
they're deciding where they'regoing to have to go to dinner
and continue to.
Act professional for a littlebit.
Chris (44:10):
Yep, that's it.
the day will start at 6am.
The day will end at 10pm.
Sarah (44:14):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Nope.
Not this girl
Chris (44:17):
Ugh, I'm already tired.
Sarah (44:19):
I might just stay in my pajamas all day just to rebel
Chris (44:23):
I'm gonna go change my blouse.
Sarah (44:24):
Not even gonna put on a fucking bra
Chris (44:26):
I have a bra on.
I'm gonna go change my blouse.
Alright, love you.
Sarah (44:29):
Love you.
Bye
Chris (44:30):
Love you, bye.
Hello and welcome to the mental funny bone.
I am Sarah.
She's Christine.
She's going to talk now.
Chris (00:10):
we are not mental health professionals, but we do
endeavor to shine a little bitof light on mental health,
wellness, and how we go fromstruggle to wellness.
if you do need to talk to amental health professional,
which we both highly recommend,please check out our show notes
and go out there and get you atherapist, cause it might be the
(00:32):
thing that changes your life forthe better,
Sarah (00:34):
Amen.
Amen.
I like that.
Chris (00:37):
make the sign of the cross and we can move on.
Sarah (00:40):
and also with you,
Chris (00:41):
with you too is what they say now, maybe, I don't know, I
can't, it's been a while.
It's been a while since I'vebeen to church.
Sarah (00:48):
feel like that's wrong.
It should always be.
And also with you, I feel like Iresponded to somebody's texts
with that statement and alsowith you recently.
I don't know why.
Okay.
We're recording early today.
Chris (01:01):
In the morning early,
Sarah (01:03):
Yeah.
So I have sleepy Sarah.
I don't have like normal sleepySarah hair though.
It's normally a lot more rowdythan this.
Chris (01:12):
you have been touching it a lot in the last half an hour.
You have been like, there's justone bump in the back.
You haven't been able to quiteget to yet.
So there it is.
You got it.
Sarah (01:21):
Yeah, okay.
Slickin it down.
Chris (01:23):
Yep.
You look great.
Sarah (01:25):
Christine is out of town, so she's all professional
looking, except for the amountof boob that she's showing.
When you're sitting like that,you can't see your boobs.
Just don't bend over.
Chris (01:36):
I feel like I'm just going to, I feel like I'm going
to do the same thing I do everytime I put this blouse on, and I
think it is, the time has comefor me to take this blouse off,
put it in a drawer here in thishotel room and never, take it
home.
Sarah (01:49):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Once you wear something, Ireally like the blouse though,
so that seems
Chris (01:55):
I
Sarah (01:55):
But once you wear it so many times and you know that
you're irritated with it so manytimes, just,
Chris (02:02):
Yeah, I'd like it.
It's really cute.
it's a beautiful, like beigeypeachy color that goes perfectly
with this, wooly blazer I'mwearing.
But
Sarah (02:11):
Alright, moving on.
Chris (02:13):
Moving on.
Yes.
Thank you.
I appreciate you moving on.
Sarah (02:18):
anytime, I don't think we've really got any fan mail
this week.
Mm
Chris (02:23):
Um, I did get to have dinner with jamie r this
Sarah (02:28):
RM.
Chris (02:29):
and she did say again That it's really good.
The podcast is really good.
And she recommended it to theother friend we were eating
dinner with.
So
Sarah (02:37):
I love that.
I love that.
Especially coming from her.
I really think that she's onethat wouldn't just
Chris (02:45):
go,
Sarah (02:45):
lie.
so sorry, I'm putting a shot onmy lips because I have multiple
cold sores, even though I takethe cold sore medicine every
day.
Chris (02:54):
we also got really good feedback on our episode titles.
So I was talking to work peoplelast night about the podcast and
my buddy, James B, podcast andstarted reading out the titles.
get your dicks out of the oven.
Sarah (03:11):
Yeah.
Chris (03:12):
And I was like,
Sarah (03:13):
titles.
Chris (03:13):
that was last week's episode, Sarah, get your dicks
out of the oven.
Spotted dick.
Remember
Sarah (03:18):
didn't listen to last week's episode cause everything
in my life has been crazy sinceThursday.
So I'm going to have to listento that today.
Fantastic.
And that's all you.
So that's feedback for you, man.
Chris (03:29):
he was like all the dick jokes.
I was like, there's just one,but it's really funny.
Sarah (03:33):
but.
Chris (03:34):
it twice
Sarah (03:35):
Yeah.
Yep.
Chris (03:37):
blue balls.
I was like, Yes.
Sarah (03:39):
Yeah.
We're, you're good at the namingof the episodes.
Chris (03:42):
Blue star ointment for the mind.
He was like, these are, I wantto listen to all of them.
I was like, yeah, that's how itgoes.
look at the most listened toepisode past episode six.
It's a.
Blue balls,
Sarah (03:54):
And hey, what, it should be saying in the episode.
So I feel like it's not justmade up to lure you in.
Like every one of your titles isa line that is said.
So I feel like it's an accuratedescription of what you're about
to hear.
Chris (04:10):
right?
If you think that title isfunny, there's a line in the
podcast where we say that lineand then laugh like hyenas.
So all fair.
Um, what do you got for catch upthis week?
I feel like the week has it onlybeen a week since.
no, it's been two weeks sinceThanksgiving.
Like I'm so confused on what dayit is.
since we've gotten pastThanksgiving, I have all sense
(04:33):
of space and time is gone forme.
Like I
Sarah (04:36):
Spacetime Continuum.
Chris (04:38):
no idea what is happening right now.
I am in Philly and I know that Ihave meetings.
I also know that I'm notprepared as much as I would like
to be for these meetings becauseit's just been nutty.
All over the place.
Professionally, personally, it'sbeen crazy.
I don't know how everyone else'sDecember is, but it's just
wacky.
Sarah (04:58):
Nutty.
All over the place.
Is what you just said.
Nani, nani, no, nani all overthe place is what you just said.
And I didn't hear anything pastthat.
but my,
Chris (05:11):
there's our title.
Sarah (05:13):
my, weekend, there was a lot going on this weekend.
I was a bad mom.
Chris (05:20):
Oh no.
Sarah (05:21):
yeah, I don't know if you've seen my latest Facebook
posts.
we had a lot of things going onand I did not take pictures like
a mom should.
we had the soccer banquet onThursday and then we went to
Lancaster, wherever, however youwant to say it, for, his first,
cup soccer tournament or clubsoccer.
I don't know what they call it
Chris (05:40):
That's soccer we pay for.
Sarah (05:42):
Yeah.
The soccer that costs too much.
we went to his first tournamentthis weekend and that's why I
have cold sores all over mymouth because number one, I
drank entirely too much onThursday and woke up, I don't
And I haven't recovered theproper,
Chris (05:58):
Hydration.
Sarah (05:59):
hydration.
I was going to say liquid in mybody.
I haven't recovered that quiteyet.
yeah, hydration in my body.
Same thing.
I couldn't think of hydration.
so yeah, so I haven't quiterecovered from that yet.
And then I was out in the,Arctic weather.
It was so fucking cold onSaturday.
Like unreal cold that we had tostand in and watch soccer.
(06:25):
yeah, so that's what we did.
It was fun.
They did well.
Owen did well on Saturday.
He had a really nice, assist inthe second game.
but I think he got over hislittle jitters for the first
tournament.
So yeah,
Chris (06:38):
most important soccer tournament question.
did you meet up with the parentsin the bar?
Were there a cluster of parentslike around the coach trying to
provide sage advice on how towin the next game?
Sarah (06:50):
that was actually Thursday night at the bar after
the soccer tournament with aheist or after the soccer
banquet with the high schoolcoaches, I'm not sure we were
really giving advice.
We were doing shots.
Chris (07:03):
No.
Sarah (07:04):
Like after the banquet, we didn't get home until after
midnight.
I think we left the bar atmidnight.
Like we sent our kids home causesome of them can drive now.
So I was like, Hey, can you justtake my, I'm sending my kid home
with yours.
That's great.
Okay.
Everybody else to the bar.
cause it was in a hotel.
So we went to the hotel bar andI know you'll find this
(07:24):
fascinating.
I got reprimanded by thebartender for swearing.
Chris (07:28):
What?
Sarah (07:29):
Yeah,
Chris (07:30):
I am.
Shocked
Sarah (07:32):
I mean
Chris (07:33):
is the, give me the context.
is the bartender like an olderguy?
is he offended because you're ayoung lady?
Sarah (07:40):
I think he just didn't like me to be honest from the
first drink I ordered he wasjust not a friendly individual
Chris (07:46):
Ah,
Sarah (07:47):
And I
Chris (07:47):
Thursday night.
And he's what the hell?
Sarah (07:50):
if the joint was fucking jumping it's a hotel by the
airport like it has to be likethat all week Especially now
with like holiday parties andshit.
Anyway, Yeah, and I can't evenremember like somebody asked me
what were you saying that yougot reprimanded and I was like,
I don't know I'm guessing I'msaying fuck after every word But
that's I'm 46 years old and Iliterally cannot remember any
(08:12):
time that I got reprimanded forswearing in a bar
Chris (08:17):
Like
Sarah (08:18):
ever.
Chris (08:19):
Yeah.
I can remember gettingreprimanded,
Sarah (08:21):
And that's what, and I remember being like, and I was
talking to the coaches and Ithink it was one of the coaches.
It was like, Hey, the bartendertold you to chill out with your
language or some shit like that.
And I was like, Oh, okay.
I don't really remember what myresponse was.
But then when I sobered up andthought about it, it's what
shit?
Maybe it's cause it was.
a hotel bar, but like it wasliterally after 11 o'clock at
(08:43):
night.
Chris (08:43):
Listen,
Sarah (08:44):
where's the kiddie table?
I'm not sure.
what are we talking about here?
Chris (08:47):
as a veteran of many hotel bars, after 11 PM.
No.
There, there are no,
Sarah (08:53):
There's
Chris (08:54):
no etiquette.
Really.
I don't
Sarah (08:56):
kids table.
I don't understand.
What are we, what's happening?
Okay, fine.
Whatever.
Chris (09:01):
But go back to the part where you're doing shots.
You are 50.
Sarah (09:05):
I am not 50.
First fucking of all,
Chris (09:09):
Wait, I'm 50.
Sarah (09:10):
you take that back.
Chris (09:11):
Wait, I'm 50.
You're not
Sarah (09:13):
said I'm 46.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I But yeah, I thought it was agood idea staying out till
midnight.
And by this point I had probablyhad 15 beers.
Chris (09:26):
Is it, is it one of these situations where one of the
young kids was like, Hey, ifyou, oh, guys don't wanna do
shots.
you don't have to,
Sarah (09:34):
Yeah, I think maybe I was like, I'm not scared.
I'm not, are you scared?
I'm not scared.
when I got scared like at 1am
Chris (09:42):
Did you have to put your foot down on the side of the
bed?
Sarah (09:45):
when I was crawling to the bathroom.
That's when I got scared.
Chris (09:51):
Oh my god.
Sarah (09:53):
felt and what's really upsetting is that yes, I threw
up Thursday night and when Ithrew up I was like excellent I
got it all out of my system andit was so much better for that
four hour drive.
We have tomorrow awesome If thatwas not the case, I threw up
again Friday morning and stillfelt like a big dong turd.
Chris (10:11):
Oh my god.
Sarah (10:12):
Yeah, I did it I really anyway.
So the tournament though, we haddinner, after our second game on
Saturday and got to talk to someof the parents and this was our
first time meeting them, but wereally didn't do anything after
that because our game on Sundaywas at 8 AM and we had to be
there at 7 15.
(10:33):
I was ready to go.
I had a few beers at dinner andI was like, all right, where are
we going?
Chris (10:37):
Is there, was there, see I think the, you also need to be
aware of who's picking the hoteland the requirement for, maybe
not so much at this age, but apool and a bar.
Like these are two things thatabsolutely have to happen at any
soccer tournament hotel.
Sarah (10:55):
Yeah, I feel like we all just bring our own alcohol, so
Chris (10:58):
no, you can bring it to the bar.
Sarah (11:00):
yeah, just a lobby, really, I feel like that's it,
or a room, I, mommy and daddydid this On our trips growing
up, one of my, one of my cupfriends from Beatling actually
sent me a message yesterday and,I was like, Hey, I've been
thinking about you a lot latelywith, Owen just starting this
adventure.
And she was like, wow, do youever think like how our parents
(11:21):
dealt with us?
And I was like, oh, I knowexactly how my parents dealt
with me.
My dad drank and my mom smoked.
Chris (11:26):
they, we were free range.
Sarah (11:28):
Yeah.
yeah, anyway, so it was a crazyweekend, but it was fun and I
will eventually, my lips, I willeventually regain my hydration.
Chris (11:38):
It's only Monday, Tuesday.
Day is it?
Tuesday.
Sarah (11:42):
way too early.
Chris (11:43):
so here's my weekend.
here's my Saturday.
I have my Saturday all laid out.
I'm like, I have to do some workfor, because I'm going to be out
of town, so I want to catch up,get ahead, so that I don't have
to end up working in the hotelroom at midnight every night.
So I'm going to do that.
I'm going to pay the bills,clean up, pack, get ready to
head out of town.
(12:04):
I picked up a new crochetingproject, so I wanted to do that.
Mostly I wanted to do thatbecause that's how ADD brains
work.
there were legit a thousandthings that needed to be done,
but no, nay, nay.
I will hyper focus just a tickon this brand new project.
thing that I added to my alreadybusy schedule to help me avoid
(12:25):
the things on my already busyschedule.
and then David's hey, we shoulddo something together today
because it's too cold to gohunting, which is what he would
normally be doing.
it's too cold to, piss around inthe garage.
We should do something together.
So then for the next four hours,I spent suggesting things that
we could do and then we didn'tdo them
Sarah (12:44):
Yeah.
Chris (12:46):
for four hours.
And I'm like, fine, let's justgo, let's go to Target in
Uniontown.
And then let's see what happensfrom there.
Sarah (12:54):
How many things can you suggest in four hours?
I feel like I can suggest, fivethings in a minute.
what kind of things are yousuggesting?
Chris (13:03):
no.
I'm suggesting.
And then there's a,contemplating part.
And there's a, yeah, I guess wecould do that.
And then there's a reluctance todo it.
And then there's a, I don't wantto do that.
And then there's a, no, we'renot going to do that.
And then, you just suggestsomething else after that.
do you want to go walk aroundSouth Hills village?
He's I don't want to spend anymoney.
I'm like, not a requirement.
Sarah (13:24):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Chris (13:26):
like, maybe five bucks for a pretzel,
Sarah (13:28):
you're a much better wife than I am because I'd have been
like, I don't know.
You figure it out.
You don't like what I'm saying.
You figure it out.
Guess who just woke up.
Chris (13:36):
macho.
bing.
Ding dong.
Ding
Sarah (13:40):
him shake his little, his whole body and his little tags
go.
So we'll see what he's going todo anyway.
Continue.
you guys end up doing?
Chris (13:48):
we went, we went to Target.
Oh, we went to Walmart becausewe had to get, space bags.
You know what space bags are?
Sarah (13:55):
I love space
Chris (13:56):
Yeah, we have a lot of, we have a lot of quilts.
Sarah (13:59):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Chris (14:00):
so we did that and then we went to, I think at some
point we got appetizers at someplace and I can't remember if it
was like, Oh no, Oh my God.
I have blocked something out ofmy brain until just now.
so we go to Applebee's to grabsome apps and a Christmas drink
because Applebee's has Christmasdrinks.
Like a drunk reindeer orsomething.
(14:22):
So I had one of those drunkreindeer had a little Santa
gummy floating in it.
Sarah (14:26):
Oh,
Chris (14:27):
I'm like, anyway, so have some French fries and, there is
a lady sitting on the, like meand David, and then there's a
lady sitting on the other sideof David and, she keeps trying
to strike up a conversation withDavid and David is pretending to
be deaf in that ear.
Sarah (14:43):
yeah.
Chris (14:44):
Because he's way smarter than I am.
And, David goes to the restroomand now she's got easy access to
the person who will talk to her.
Sarah (14:52):
Yeah.
Chris (14:53):
she apparently was dating Donald Trump and she had Hunter
Biden's phone number on herphone, because they're targeting
her as a white supremacist and Iwas like, who was doing this?
And she was like, I can't tellyou.
I can't tell you.
Okay.
and, and then she told me thatshe went to, she's I'm a doctor.
(15:16):
I was like, Oh, that's nice.
Sarah (15:19):
Bullshit.
Chris (15:19):
I didn't say that.
She's I went to chiropracticschool and I am biting my
tongue.
And, I'm like, She's and then Iquit chiropractic school and
went to medical school.
Okay, good.
glad to see you following yourdreams.
I'm a stranger.
Sarah (15:34):
Our I can't say it out loud.
That makes my stomach hurt.
Chris (15:37):
And then, and then it wasn't like her dating Donald
Trump wasn't political oranything, but apparently Donald
Trump was her boyfriend forseven years.
And then she was married for 20years.
And then she had anotherboyfriend for 16 years.
I was like, your math is wrong.
She was like, George Clooney.
I know something about him.
And I was like,
Sarah (15:57):
Only in Fayette County.
Chris (15:59):
right, She was like, the monkey bar on 51.
And I was like, how did we getthere?
Sarah (16:06):
So is, was George Clooney hanging out there?
Because I doubt it.
But
Chris (16:10):
she was like, oh yeah, I, my boyfriend, Scott, I was like,
is this the boyfriend betweenTrump and Merritt?
Sarah (16:16):
we're,
Chris (16:17):
so very confused.
And David is back and beinghelpful at this point.
She's like.
she went to Elizabeth Forward.
It's right there by the monkeybar.
She's you probably know myboyfriend, Scott.
And I was like, I might, what'sScott's last name?
And she was like, I can'tremember.
I was like, that's okay.
Sarah (16:34):
you probably know my boyfriend, Mike Smith.
Chris (16:37):
You probably know my boyfriend, Scott.
And then she was like, oh, shewas like, now I'm just big into
yoga.
And I was like, oh, I like yogatoo.
And she was like, listen, giveme your number.
Sarah (16:48):
No.
Chris (16:49):
And she was like, here's a piece of paper and a pen.
And never, ever in my wholelife.
Have I given somebody a fakephone number?
Sarah (16:55):
Until now.
I hope so.
Chris (16:57):
Oh yeah, for sure.
I was like, I don't even knowhow to do it.
do I change all the numbers?
Do I just change one of thenumbers?
Like, how
Sarah (17:04):
move on.
It's fine.
Chris (17:06):
do I give her my real name?
I was like,
Sarah (17:09):
No.
None of the above.
None of the above.
What you should have done, youneed to think on your feet
faster.
And you need to, shoot backwith, I dated Hunter Biden.
Chris (17:21):
I don't know why his number would be on your phone.
Sarah (17:23):
Yeah.
And be like, is that the rightnumber?
Let me see what my number is.
Chris (17:28):
then she was like, yeah, I'll just put your number in my
phone.
when I get my phone back,
Sarah (17:33):
Yeah.
I don't like her.
I don't, she's,
Chris (17:36):
David, David was like, did you have fun?
I was like, no, I didn't.
That was scary.
Sarah (17:40):
now worried for my life.
Yeah.
Nope.
Nope.
Nope.
Nope.
Nope.
so what should you guys do afterthat?
Chris (17:49):
we went home.
Cause it was like, it was dark.
Sarah (17:52):
Yeah.
Chris (17:53):
So it was like 5.
15.
Sarah (17:55):
Yeah, I'm still having trouble with the darkness.
not that it's making me sad, butjust comprehending the actual
time.
Chris (18:01):
again,
Sarah (18:01):
we were getting closer to Lancaster on Friday, like we
left around one ish or two ish,something like that.
So when we were getting there,it was like six ish maybe.
And
Chris (18:13):
obviously midnight.
Sarah (18:14):
yeah, mommy had texted me to ask if we left yet.
And I'm guessing she didn't knowwe took the day off work.
So expected at five 30, this wasat five 30.
And no, I was like, what are youdoing?
I said, text my mom back.
She wanted to know if we leftyet.
And he was like, why she just,anyway, we were both like, wow,
it's only 5
Chris (18:32):
in, in reels news this week,
Sarah (18:35):
Oh yeah.
I haven't been keeping up withyour reels, David.
Chris (18:38):
I discovered the perfect reel.
it's one from Schitt's Creekwhere it is a compilation of
Alexis saying, David, David,you, David, right.
Nom noms, David.
Like, and I sent it to David andhe's like, that's funny.
I was
Sarah (18:54):
Yeah.
Has he watched Schitt's Creek?
Chris (18:56):
no, he was like, it sounds like you.
I'm like, yeah.
All right, that is, that is allthe, that is all the catch up I
think we have to do.
Do you have a gastro story ofthe week?
Sarah (19:06):
I do, I, Yeah.
Chris (19:08):
do you remember when our mother would get the Christmas
decorations out?
Sarah (19:12):
It was a process.
I was just telling someone aboutthe decorating of the downtown
Elizabeth house.
Chris (19:16):
Oh, I don't, I'm thinking way back, way, way back.
I'm thinking silk wrappedornaments that would then fray
string shit everywhere.
Sarah (19:27):
And everything smelled like mothballs.
Chris (19:30):
A hundred percent.
There were the number of waxbased decorations that had been
up in the attic and melted, butwe're still put out in slightly
misshapen forms, like a Santasled that was maybe a candle and
it
Sarah (19:45):
There was a whole scene that was a candle, and every
year they decayed a little bit.
Chris (19:50):
melted a little bit further and your mom would
pretend to let us help with theChristmas tree.
Sarah (19:56):
This is funny because I was, I think I was just telling
Noah about the decorating ofChristmas.
And he was like, I just don'tsee your mom letting you help
touching anything.
And I was like, she gave us someold shit to take in our rooms
and make it feel like we weredoing something.
Chris (20:14):
we had individual Christmas trees that we were
allowed to touch.
Sarah (20:17):
Yeah.
The little tinsel ones,
Chris (20:18):
I feel,
Sarah (20:19):
because it had little things that you just stuck out
of it, like on toothpicks.
Chris (20:22):
right.
And then you put them, the wayyou stored it was each
individual branch of tinselcame, came in its own tube.
Sarah (20:31):
Yeah.
Chris (20:31):
And at the end of the season, you would slide it into
this little tube and it was oneof the most satisfying things to
pull that out of the tube andhave they go and plump up.
Sarah (20:41):
Yeah.
Chris (20:42):
fabulous.
Fabulous.
I've tried to buy that tree somany times and been so
disappointed with what I'vegotten to.
Instead, it's not the same,
Sarah (20:52):
no.
I bought one for Owen.
I don't even know where it isnow.
We may have thrown it out.
but it was more like a realtree, not a real tree, a real
fake tree.
I don't know if that makessense.
You know what I mean?
like it didn't have theindividual things.
I was like, this doesn't, Idon't like this.
it's still tinsely and his wasblue, but yeah, I remember
(21:15):
trying to string up lights.
but not being able to make themstick.
Like I wanted them on thewindow, but I was using scotch
tape.
Chris (21:23):
right,
Sarah (21:24):
are the things, like I was challenged and there was no
help from outside.
Chris (21:28):
right.
There's, I do remember this inthe front window, because I
think we were both working onthis, but we won't remember that
the other one was there.
I don't know how we keep erasingeach other from our memories,
but I am 100 percent
Sarah (21:43):
of, logical shit there to explore, but go ahead.
Chris (21:47):
Because I remember, I was like, all right, I don't think,
cause I don't think our dad wasbig on putting the lights
outside.
I don't think like there werewreaths with spotlights on them
is what I remember.
Like those were our outside
Sarah (21:59):
feel like it's good.
Chris (22:00):
Yeah.
And then I was like, if we canjust scotch tape the, the
Christmas lights to the insideof the window, and then you'll
be able to see them outside.
Sarah (22:08):
think we tried duct tape to one year.
I don't know, but it definitely,it wasn't working because it was
cold and it just doesn't work.
the tape on the window justdoesn't work
Chris (22:20):
And yeah, and they would fall down as soon as we put them
up.
And then I think we just, Ithink we just left them in
puddles on the windowsill.
Sarah (22:27):
Yep.
Said fuck it.
And that was it.
Chris (22:30):
And I
Sarah (22:31):
It was
Chris (22:31):
individual windows.
Sarah (22:33):
Decorating was a process.
And I remember she used to takeeverything off the walls and
replace it with somethingChristmas.
Chris (22:40):
There was a, there was a whole, there was a whole series,
like there was a wholecollection of cardboard boxes.
In the attic that had Christmaswritten on the side of them in
some very neat Anita script.
Sarah (22:53):
So much shit in every room.
Chris (22:56):
the living
Sarah (22:57):
feel like a disappointment considering that
I have a Christmas tree and likemy mantel's a little bit done.
Chris (23:04):
I have a ton of shit.
Sarah (23:06):
Yeah, you go overboard.
Your mom did well with you.
Chris (23:09):
I was well trained.
I'm down to, just three, threeChristmas trees this year.
I pared back.
Sarah (23:15):
see trees this year because we got a new one.
So I put the old one downstairs.
so downstairs and upstairs areboth decorated, but very
minimally, like just the tree isthe main focus and there's a
little bit of other shit around.
yeah,
Chris (23:29):
there are, there, there's a small tree.
So there's there's two big treesbecause we have to have the, we
have to have the fun tree.
And then we have to have onethat's decorated pretty, it's
got pretty decorations on it.
and then there's a small one inthe library because that's a
room that needs a tree.
And then by, by the fireplace,there's a tree and then the
(23:51):
mantle has a bunch of shit onit.
Yeah.
I feel like I absorbed all ofthat from your mother.
Like it looks, and I've reallypaired back.
Like when Olivia was little,they used to take me, I would
take off the week afterThanksgiving and spend every
single one of those daysdecorating.
Sarah (24:07):
that's a lot.
if I can't get it done in oneday or less, it's just not
happening.
And regardless of how hard Ifucking try, I always find one
or two leftover fall decorationsthat I missed.
Always.
Like I just saw the other day, Ihave a pumpkin and a squirrel
out by the calendar, and Ididn't take those down.
Chris (24:27):
Nita had a ton of boxes.
Sarah (24:29):
we do love the Christmas decorating.
I will say one thing when wemoved to Elizabeth, Anita,
Downtown Elizabeth, Anita uppedher game and everything was
real.
Chris (24:39):
Oh my God.
Yes.
Now I remember like the wholebanister, why I've blocked that
out is it was, It was theChristmas dance,
Sarah (24:49):
Yeah.
Yeah.
We had to take our pictures onthe steps
Chris (24:53):
there was
Sarah (24:53):
and there was a turtleneck under a dress shirt
involved.
Chris (24:57):
and there was somebody wearing MC Hammer pants, we did
not have a successful time, atthat particular dance, we did
not do well,
Sarah (25:05):
Yeah.
my date was fun and didn't tryto date me.
so that was cool.
anyway, moving along, yeah, Nitaupped her game.
We would get the tallest.
Cause I swear to God, theceilings in that house were 20
feet tall.
and the, the ceilings downstairswere 20 feet tall.
The ceilings upstairs were six.
(25:25):
Like I, yeah, I could literallytouch the
Chris (25:28):
miners.
Sarah (25:29):
And I'm short.
So that's what, like what I wastaught, I was telling Noah about
it this weekend.
I literally, I was like, I'mpretty sure they were 20 feet
tall.
I swear to God, because.
There was no, no space upstairs,which is where we lived.
anyway.
Oh, do you want to get toactually talk about the book?
Chris (25:47):
Yeah, let's talk about the book.
New book this week, guys.
New book.
Michael Gervais, wrote a bookcalled The Most Important Thing.
I don't think that's it, but
Sarah (25:56):
no.
It's the first rule of mastery.
Stop worrying about what peoplethink of you.
Chris (26:02):
The Most Important Thing.
Sarah (26:03):
Is that the most important thing or where did you
come up with the most importantthing?
Chris (26:07):
The first rule of mastery translates in my head to the
most important thing.
Sarah (26:11):
Oh, okay.
Chris (26:13):
So there you go.
Yeah, I listened to theintroduction and the first
chapter this morning while I wasgetting ready And I think I
think lots of good things rightlike Lots of stuff that ties
into everything that, that we'vebeen thinking about.
And the, one of the first thingshe talks about is being able to,
(26:37):
being able to focus on thethings that you can control.
Sarah (26:40):
Yeah, that's it.
That's a big part of it.
And I know that we've talkedabout it before but I feel like
it's worth saying again the bigthing in this book is faux pas,
which I think we talked about atthe beginning of our adventure
here And that's fear.
of people's opinions Be thubbin
Chris (26:59):
And, I think chapter one is a great story about, your
favorite composer, who's yourfavorite composer or the rest of
us call him Beethoven.
Sarah (27:07):
Yeah, whatever.
You know that in, in this firstchapter, there was also mention
of Yosemite.
Chris (27:15):
I heard that as well.
Sarah (27:16):
Because the was climbing Yosemite.
Chris (27:18):
Yosemite to the rest of us,
Sarah (27:20):
So it's Beethoven.
Chris (27:22):
right?
It's Beethoven and, Beethoven'ssecret is the name of the
chapter.
I believe.
Sarah (27:28):
Yeah, and I was really intrigued.
I was like, what's his secret?
that's interesting.
Let's find out what his secretis and he was deaf which I did
not know and I feel Like I knewthis at some point in my life
But it was one of those thingslike geography or the UK that I
just didn't care enough about Tokeep in the noggin, like it's
(27:52):
one of the things that got sentout when I was trying to make
space.
And so when I read it, that'sliterally the first note I have
for chapter one in my notes is Ihad no clue that Beethoven was
deaf.
None.
None.
Chris (28:08):
That's hilarious.
Hilarious.
Sarah (28:10):
it's not like he was born deaf though.
Chris (28:12):
no.
He lost his hearing.
Sarah (28:14):
happened over time.
but yeah.
So this was learning experiencefor me.
but they talk about, howBeethoven had a huge fear of
others opinions.
and at first that really wasn'tworking out for him.
He socially isolated himself sohe didn't have to deal with it.
(28:34):
and that, then they startedtalking about, the daddy issues.
Chris (28:38):
His dad was a dick.
Sarah (28:39):
yeah.
And it basically conditioned himto believe that there was no
love to be had unless he wasperforming.
There's no love to be had unlessother people thought you were
worth it.
Chris (28:50):
yeah, what a shame.
What a shame.
Sarah (28:52):
Yeah, I wrote here, Parenting Lesson of the Day.
Let's not make love a directresult of a child's performance
and achievements.
Chris (29:00):
I mean it's This is hard, right?
Like I remember when Olivia wasin like first grade, third
grade, you know She's inelementary school and she you
know She comes home with a B onher report card and I was like,
what is this?
What?
You got to try harder.
fifth grade, like at some pointwhere, I thought maybe effort
(29:21):
would be related to grades andit's interesting, that, that
even today, she's I don't knowwhat to do if I'm going to get a
C.
And I was like, yeah, sorryabout that.
the older you get, the less itmatters.
you want to do the best that youcan with what you got.
is really the trick and beingable to make sure that they're
like functioning humans, at thesame time, you don't base your
(29:44):
love on their performance in anyone specific area, like just try
to do a good, try to take thegifts and talents that you have
and make the most of them.
Sarah (29:53):
Yeah, it's tough.
It's a tough balance because youdon't want them to just be lazy
fucks and you want them to putthe effort forth when you know
they're smart enough, but youalso don't want it to be.
That's what it's all about.
And that's the only thing thatit's about.
it makes me think of my oneFacebook post like other moms.
Talking about getting all A'sand eating your broccoli and
(30:17):
whatnot.
And then there's me over theregoing, just don't be an asshole.
Chris (30:20):
Right.
Sarah (30:21):
I feel like that's pretty much what I have focused on.
However, I do get I'm fine withB's.
The C's are annoying to mebecause I know that he can do
better than that.
And the only reason he's, he gota C was because he didn't do his
homework.
that's different.
But with Beethoven, it wasliterally the only way he got
any love.
From his dad
Chris (30:42):
A bit different.
Bit different.
Sarah (30:43):
if he was, performing and then that performance, that was
that raped in his.
His status, right?
Am I saying that?
so that's what he basedeverything on throughout his
whole life.
And then he felt how willpeople, what will people think
if I'm standing there and theycan hear some music in the
(31:06):
background and they make mentionof it and I can't hear it.
So instead of facing that, I'mjust going to go ahead and, sit
alone at home.
And that's it.
Chris (31:17):
the conclusion of the chapter I think is the thing,
like it's a whole, it's a wholestory about how he tries to hide
it and how he tries to run awayfrom it.
And some of the background aboutwhy, like my worth is completely
based on me being a skilledperformer and having this
position in society.
And his perception is that if Idon't.
(31:40):
if I let people know that I'mdeaf, I won't have that.
And then who am I if I'm not theperson?
And I think at the end, andcorrect me if I'm wrong,'cause I
might've dipped out about fiveminutes early from the
recording, like at the end, hediscovers that the thing that
he, the thing that he cancontrol is the music that he can
(32:01):
make in his head when he'sfocusing on that and the music
that he can make in his head.
And.
Share with the world is thething that's the most important,
right?
It's the, if I can do this, thenmy success and other people's
opinion matters so much lessthan me being able to exist in
(32:21):
my head and compose this musicand who cares, who knows, like
who cares, who knows, and beingable to get to that point.
yeah, I think is the, like thewhole chapter one is about, Hey,
here's a good example of onceyou let go of the kind of, hang
up of worrying about what otherpeople are going to think, and
(32:42):
you can focus on the stuff thatyou can control and change and
the stuff that matters to you,then you are happier, more
fulfilled and more successful.
Sarah (32:51):
Yeah, that's pretty much it.
just like Michael Gervais saysin the introduction, just like
any self help, the first step isacceptance.
And like FOPO, you need torecognize that it's there.
And what he's going to dothroughout this book is talk
about how we can use FOPO to asan advantage to ourselves.
So it's not something that wejust ignore, but it's something
(33:15):
that we can accept and Try tounderstand better and make it
positive,
Chris (33:21):
It's the,
Sarah (33:22):
lives and Beethoven, I wrote this, what he, his basic
acceptance of it is what hewrote and it was, I would have
put an end to my life, only artit was that withheld me.
It seemed possible, impossibleto leave the world until I had
produced all that I felt calledupon me to produce.
(33:44):
Patience, they say, is what Imust now choose for my guide,
and I have done so.
Chris (33:49):
yeah, I like that.
B7 smart guy.
Sarah (33:52):
yeah, smart guy.
So he finally said, fuck it.
I know I have more to offer, andso I'm going to take the one
thing I can control, and that'smy patience, and figuring it all
out, and that's what I'm goingto give the world.
Chris (34:04):
Yeah, exactly.
looking at, looking at, shit.
I hate it when I lose thethought.
I'm totally distracted by 800things that just wandered into
my mind.
nevermind.
I
Sarah (34:16):
With this book, the first rule of mastery, it's really
these first couple of chaptersor the introduction and the
first chapter is really justtalking about Foucault, about
mastery and how he, he beingMichael Gervais, defines mastery
as the inner directed lifeexternally expressed.
(34:36):
So you're able to look moreinternally, than.
externally.
Chris (34:41):
and using your FOPO as like the string to pull on,
like, why am I afraid?
What, like when you feel thatcoming up, when you feel that,
oh, I don't want anyone to knowthis, or I don't, I'm afraid of
what people might think if I dothis.
what is he, what is the examplein the introduction?
Like not sharing an idea in themeeting?
(35:01):
Like what,
Sarah (35:02):
that's exactly what I was thinking because I do that shit
all the time, even like a one onone meeting.
Sometimes I'm like, Oh, I'm notgoing to say it.
Cause I'm not smart enough.
And then someone else brings itup and I'm like, Yeah.
I was thinking that dammitmother.
And what's funny is Owen askedme last night what I was reading
and I told him and, I said, stopworrying about what other people
think of you.
(35:22):
And he smiled and he was like,I'm pretty good at some of that
already.
He's definitely good at notgiving a fuck what his hair
looks like, what his clotheslook like his outward
appearance, he does not give ashit about.
And then we started chattingabout it and I was like, yeah,
there's a lot that you reallycan do.
Don't give two shits about whatother people think of you.
And I love that for you.
It's but this weekend we alsosaw some things that I think you
(35:45):
pulled back on because you wereafraid you were going to fuck it
up.
And he was like, true.
And I said, yeah, I think, in acouple instances within your
games, you didn't do what I knowthat you can do because you were
afraid.
That you are going to mess itup.
You didn't hold the ball as longas you could have.
You wanted to get rid of theball because you were afraid
that you were going to fuck itup if you held it.
Chris (36:07):
Olivia and I have this talk still to this day.
I'm like, don't believe, justbelieve.
Sarah (36:13):
So you know what to do.
You're given instructions andyou can't be afraid to try those
instructions out.
Chris (36:20):
right?
Yep.
Sarah (36:21):
but that's, there were a few other, what was the, what's
the word, a few other quotesthroughout the end of it,
throughout all of it that justmakes sense.
Like the more we value thingsoutside of our control, the less
control we actually have.
And that's the big part of it islooking at the things and
finding the things that you cancontrol, obsessing over the
(36:41):
things that you can't control.
It's just making.
Your mind batty.
Chris (36:46):
right.
it takes away from the energythat you could spend on the
things that you can change.
If you're like, I think about,spending so much time worrying
about, worrying about whatpeople at the gym back in the
day would think about my outfit.
Sarah (37:05):
Yeah.
Chris (37:05):
Okay, now instead of writing out like a workout plan,
I'm like, okay, I can wear the,if I wear these shorts, then I
have to wear these other shortsover top.
So then no one can see my butt.
I don't want to wear that tshirt because it's got like a
logo on it.
there's, I don't want people tothink I really like sandwiches
that much.
Sarah (37:25):
Oh, I love sandwiches.
The thing I really thought aboutwas How this is a constant in my
life and how it just changesareas
Chris (37:37):
huh.
Sarah (37:37):
Like my outward appearance.
I was very worried about that,you know earlier in life I still
like to look presentable Butthat's mostly because it makes
me feel better.
I just feel like I, I do better.
I feel better when I'mpresentable.
at the age of 23, daddy'swonderful words of no one gives
(37:59):
a shit about you.
That was huge for me.
And I've been able to embracethat in a lot of parts of my
life, except for when it comesto my confidence in being a
smart person, like that's whereI still really worry about what
other people think of me, Ican't say that cause it's
probably dumb.
And I preface a ton of shit atwork and with other people like
(38:22):
this is probably dumb, but likeI know I have a cold sore on my
face just so you know, I know.
Chris (38:28):
No, I think there's a there's a difference Like if I
point it out, then you don'thave to spend 15 minutes
worrying about whether or not I
Sarah (38:34):
yeah,
Chris (38:35):
I can it's
Sarah (38:35):
if I tell you I'm dumb first, you don't have to feel
bad about telling me I'm dumb,but I want you to know that this
isn't the thought I'm havingcause it might be not dumb.
Chris (38:45):
I have a thought
Sarah (38:46):
Yeah, I really that's something that I really need to
work on.
Chris (38:51):
I hide the, the hesitation and the doubt with
the phrase.
Does that make sense?
Sarah (39:00):
I do that as well Am I making sense?
Is this making sense?
I feel like it's not
Chris (39:04):
that make sense?
Like I'm looking at you and I'mstruggling to complete my
thought because I'm reallynervous about what I'm trying to
say.
So instead I'll just pausereally quickly and ask you if it
makes sense.
Does it make sense?
Idiot.
Sarah (39:16):
Yeah, so it's something like and I for a while was
Prided?
Prided?
I
Chris (39:21):
I
Sarah (39:21):
really thought I had the propo under control because a
large part of my life, I really,
Chris (39:27):
I do.
Sarah (39:28):
I do.
I, you have your opinion of mebecause you are a human being
and you're allowed to have thatopinion of me, but I'm not going
to let that make any differencein my life.
Like you're allowed to have thatopinion.
And if you don't like me, thenyou don't have to like me.
That's okay.
I'm cool on that front.
But when it comes to my ownintelligence, I have.
(39:48):
major faux pas.
So it's always a work inprogress.
Chris (39:53):
I think that's what's going to be fun about finishing
this book in a couple of weeksis being able to continue to
poke at that bruise, right?
Like I know I shouldn't, like Iknow no one gives a shit about
me.
So where are the areas wherethis is still a thing and why is
it a thing?
Like being able at, what did,what does he say?
The string to pull on, right?
I think being able to use thatas the string to pull on is
(40:16):
going to be.
Is going to be reallyinteresting, like
Sarah (40:19):
string to pull on like the string on the Christmas
ornament.
You just pull a little bit andyou keep pulling and pulling.
And eventually there's, you'rejust left with this foam ball.
Chris (40:28):
you end up with a whole handful of silk.
Sarah (40:31):
Wow, look at there.
Look what I found underneaththere.
Chris (40:34):
Your mother's don't do that.
Those are
Sarah (40:37):
Stop.
Chris (40:37):
We've had them for 15 years.
Sarah (40:39):
And a little hook, like one of the little hooks would
always grab onto another one.
Chris (40:44):
Oh yeah.
Oh, disaster.
And I feel like we had the sameartificial Christmas tree for 35
years,
Sarah (40:50):
at least.
Yeah.
Chris (40:52):
yet I can't keep one for more than three.
Sarah (40:54):
Yeah.
Chris (40:55):
I don't know.
Anyway,
Sarah (40:57):
know.
Chris (40:59):
All right.
how do we feel right now?
I think that's probably a goodspot to end on.
I think we've talked enoughabout the FOPO
Sarah (41:05):
Yeah.
As you can see outside thewindow, the sun has come up.
So I believe that it is time tomove on to regular daily
activities,
Chris (41:13):
Yep.
Sarah (41:13):
be fun because I was off work on Friday and off work
yesterday.
It's back to work for me.
So this is always a fun thingbecause I don't know if I've
mentioned it before.
I'm really fucking good at beingon vacation.
Chris (41:25):
if there were a job skill we could list it for me, it
would be, not being in theoffice.
Sarah (41:29):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm really good at ignoringemails and not paying attention
to any teams messages.
yeah.
So if anybody ever needs adviceon how to be on vacation, let me
know.
I will give you a lesson inthat.
So therefore, since I'm reallygood at being on vacation, I
have lots of emails to gothrough and lots of team
messages that I have alreadyclicked on.
(41:52):
So it, because I can't standthem looking all unread just
while I'm sitting here.
Chris (41:58):
Fascinating.
All right.
I got to go talk to a guy abouta contract and then we got to
talk to a lady who doesn'tunderstand it in 20 minutes.
Sarah (42:07):
Oh, that's so fun.
That is so fun.
I did get an email.
I got an email from someone onLinkedIn about a new job.
Chris (42:15):
There you go.
That's probably not a scam atall.
Sarah (42:18):
No, it might actually be one that I'm interested in and
not a scam.
Chris (42:23):
Get out.
Oh, I love when that happens
Sarah (42:25):
yeah, so I was reading that right before you sent the
invite for the meeting to start.
So that's the
Chris (42:31):
it's not from like a Nigerian Prince asking you for
your bank account informationthough, right?
Sarah (42:35):
No, I dream of that one all the time.
It never seems to happen to me.
Yeah, no,
Chris (42:40):
please be legit.
Please Nigerian.
Just give me all of the money,please
Sarah (42:45):
no.
Every, yeah, no.
Everything was in the email.
I didn't have to click on linksand give them my bank account
number or anything.
Chris (42:52):
Perfect.
No, I love it.
Love it
Sarah (42:54):
Okay.
I love you.
Have a great day, yourconference and all that shit.
and being important.
Chris (42:59):
Here I am.
Sarah (43:00):
Oh, wait, I had one more thing to note about work.
I'm sad about, there's sometraveling.
People are in Montreal this weekand I wasn't invited.
Chris (43:08):
Aww.
I'm so sorry.
Sarah (43:10):
Yeah, the ERP analysts, which we have been involved for
the last two years in thisyearly meeting, we got left out
this year,
Chris (43:18):
it's probably budget.
Sarah (43:19):
which kind of leaves me with a feeling of, yeah, I guess
we don't really add enough to bea part of it, which is probably
true.
Um, which maybe I shouldquestion more, but I really
don't, I'm just sad that I won'tbe there to drink with my
friends
Chris (43:32):
Right.
Sarah (43:33):
and this is, the, I'm going through a little bit of
FOMO.
Chris (43:37):
Oh, FOMO.
Sarah (43:38):
Fucking have fun without me.
And I don't like it.
Chris (43:40):
That, that is also hilarious.
I would like nothing more thanto be at home for more than
three weeks
Sarah (43:47):
yeah, no.
And now that like yesterday Ihad the day off, they were all
traveling and I got the houseclean, like I'm fine with it
other than the fact that they'regoing to have fun without me.
But at the end of the day, thisis really much better.
Chris (44:01):
It is.
Sarah (44:02):
And at four o'clock I could be like peace while
they're deciding where they'regoing to have to go to dinner
and continue to.
Act professional for a littlebit.
Chris (44:10):
Yep, that's it.
the day will start at 6am.
The day will end at 10pm.
Sarah (44:14):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Nope.
Not this girl
Chris (44:17):
Ugh, I'm already tired.
Sarah (44:19):
I might just stay in my pajamas all day just to rebel
Chris (44:23):
I'm gonna go change my blouse.
Sarah (44:24):
Not even gonna put on a fucking bra
Chris (44:26):
I have a bra on.
I'm gonna go change my blouse.
Alright, love you.
Sarah (44:29):
Love you.
Bye
Chris (44:30):
Love you, bye.
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Karoline Borega married a man of honor – a respected Colorado Springs Police officer. She knew there would be sacrifices to accommodate her husband’s career. But she had no idea that he was using his badge to fool everyone. This season, we expose a man who swore two sacred oaths—one to his badge, one to his bride—and broke them both. We follow Karoline as she questions everything she thought she knew about her partner of over 20 years. And make sure to check out Seasons 1-3 of Betrayal, along with Betrayal Weekly Season 1.
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Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.