March 9, 2025 • 55 mins
Welcome to another entertaining episode of 'The Mental Funny Bone,' with Chris and Sarah where mental wellness meets laughter. The hilarious sisters dive into the concept of letting go of control with Mel Robbins' 'Let Them Theory,' share giggle-worthy anecdotes from their past, and highlight hilarious fan mail. Get ready to explore topics like ADHD, childhood memories, and the joys of obsessive hobbies, all wrapped in humor and relatable experiences. From planning a year-anniversary party to discussing Mel Robbins' life-changing theories, this episode is a perfect blend of fun and insightful discussions. Don’t miss out on their laugh-out-loud moments and tips on embracing a mindful, joyful life.
How to find mental health help when you're struggling. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists
https://washingtoncountyhumanservices.com/agencies/behavioral-health-developmental-services
https://www.alleghenycounty.us/Services/Human-Services-DHS/Publications/Resource-Guides
Apps - Just search mental health where you get your apps.
EAP programs are a great place to look for help!!
Additional Resources (Sports Related):
https://globalsportmatters.com/health/2020/12/04/mental-health-resources-2/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Sarah (2) (00:03):
Welcome to the Mental Funny Bone, a podcast where we
strive to create a safe andentertaining space where
listeners can explore mentalhealth topics, find solace, and
enjoy laughter.
This podcast aims todestigmatize mental health
discussions and empowerindividuals to approach their
own well being with humor andopenness.
I laugh because you're chewingyour, you have your hand over
(00:26):
your face.
I wasn't, I was reading theintro, so I didn't totally see
you and I thought that you werejust laughing at me and it
reminded me of us laughing atnothing and not being able to
stop and pissing daddy off.
Yeah.
Or yeah, or pissing mommy off atthe ballet.
Potatoes.
They look like fucking potatoes.
Chris (00:48):
Here's what happened.
I went out into the kitchen toget my emotional support bowl of
candy.
And then when I came in, I satdown at my desk and had to
immediately have an emotionalsupport candy.
Sarah (2) (00:59):
Yeah.
And I could hear the rapper,which is great.
I like it.
Chris (01:03):
Hi, I'm Sarah.
And I'm Christine.
And we are not mental healthprofessionals, but we do suggest
that you go and see a mentalhealth professional on a routine
basis.
It will make you feel better.
If you need help finding one,there's a, there's links in our
show notes all the time.
And while you're there in theshow notes, there's also a
(01:24):
little link to the fan mail.
The fan mail, despite beingnamed fan mail, will actually
let you send us a
Sarah (2) (01:30):
Yeah, and I should also note, when you send that
text, if you could just signyour name.
I don't know.
Just give us an idea who youare, because it doesn't tell us,
and then we have to search onour phones to see if we know
you, because all it gives us isthe last four digits of your
phone number.
Luckily, that has worked out forus.
I have confirmed everyone whohas sent us a fan mail.
(01:51):
But, just if you're doing that,and we do love that you do that
for us, just give us a littlename.
That's great.
Chris (01:57):
Great.
And if you don't want to, tellus your name.
If you want to be anonymous.
Make up a real funny name.
Yeah.
Mike.
Yeah.
Last name Huntz.
Sarah (2) (02:08):
Dude's name isn't Mike.
Chris (02:09):
It never is.
Sarah never is.
Phil.
Phil McCracken.
Also, stop it.
This is not what we're here for.
Also, speaking of male, Yes, andfan mail it has come to our
attention that at the beginningwe were all about telling you
guys the email address where youcould get in touch with us and
Someone has recently pointed outthat we haven't said it in seven
(02:30):
episodes or something.
So
yeah
gastergirls at gmail.
com g a s t e r g i r l s gmail.
com and gmail is spelled gFanmail.
Sarah (2) (02:49):
com.
There you are.
Oh, I'm giddy today.
I'm not sure I'm ready with mymaterial, but I sure do have a
smile and laughing going onhere, so we're good.
We're
Chris (02:58):
all good.
Um, speaking of fanmail, I wouldlike to highlight a few pieces
of fanmail that we've receivedthrough the fanmail link.
These people had sent us acouple of good thoughts.
the first one, the most recentone, I think is the most funny.
One, because all it says is, Howhave you been?
And then it gives two quotes, Isaw friends who made me feel
(03:21):
good about myself.
I hit a deer.
Hilarious.
You guys, if you need betterencouragement that no one here
is going to judge what you send,it should be the fact that I was
so delighted to get thatalphabet soup salad.
It
Sarah (2) (03:36):
was my absolute favorite.
So this is where it comes intoplay that I use the last four
digits of the phone and my phoneto figure out who this was.
It's a childhood buddy of mine,forever friend, Jared.
And when I found out it was himand God love you, Jared, thank
you so much for saying please.
Every time you listen, will youplease hit the fan mail and just
send something.
Cause it made me so super happy.
(03:58):
Yeah, I was not surprised at allthat this came from Jared and I
think the end hilarious likejust hearing him I should have
known it was him.
Actually,
Chris (04:08):
there's it's a bizarre mix of some capitals some
punctuation there arequotations, but there's that
there's two dots instead ofthree dots like it is a My
Sarah (2) (04:18):
favorite thing about it is that I could see him
smiling and laughing while he'styping in on his little phone.
Hilarious.
And it makes me so fuckinghappy.
Chris (04:26):
I will tell you the most important one that we got was
from, I think, another one ofyour friends.
But I was in my kitchen having asmall, nervous breakdown.
Oh, this is
Sarah (2) (04:35):
you.
I thought you were talking, thisis not what she said.
no, This is when you read it.
Okay.
Chris (04:39):
Yeah, this is my actual, I'm setting the scene, if you
will.
okay.
storytelling.
God.
It's an important part of whatwe do.
it says, Hi, the storytelling.
It says, hi, I was in thekitchen and I was having a bit
of a nervous breakdown becauseit has been a rough week at
work.
It's been a week at work where Ifelt like I've been kicking
puppies all day long by the timeI get done.
Yeah, it's been pretty brutal.
(05:00):
So the fan mail says, I loveyour podcast and I think it's
awesome what you ladies aredoing.
I may not send fan mail, but Ilistened to your show weekly.
I have major FOPO and I don'ttalk about it to many people,
about my hippy dippy shit.
Sarah, I'm so proud of you forstepping out of your comfort
zone.
It's inspiring.
it's time people start having,funny and serious conversations
(05:23):
about mental health and insteadof the fear and embarrassment
about it.
Keep doing what you're doing.
Peace, love, and happiness.
This nice lady signed it,Melanie.
God bless ya.
and then she says, I re read,this over and debated on sending
it for fear of sounding stupid.
Yeah.
And
I think that, A, it delighted me.
It pulled me out of my, itpulled me out of the moment that
(05:45):
I was in.
While I was in the kitchenfeeling bad for myself, and it
gave me the ability to recognizethat, yeah, this is just a, it's
just a moment and this is gonnabe completely different in 30
minutes if I let it becompletely different in 30
minutes, Melanie, you are agenius.
I really appreciate your timingand thank you so much for having
that 15 seconds of courage andhitting the send button.
(06:08):
Thanks.
We appreciate
Sarah (2) (06:09):
it.
Thanks, Mel.
We love you.
And I can see her.
She's another one that I can seeher on her phone sending it.
And deciding not to send it andthen sending it and then hitting
send and her face gets beet redas soon as she hits send.
I know it.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
100%.
that is awesome.
Okay, so on April 4th, 2024, wereleased our first episode of
(06:30):
The Mental Funny Bone.
Yay! So it's coming up on a yearand we decided that we want to
celebrate.
And so we are going to go to thecraft house stage and grill.
It's in the South hills.
you can look it up.
I am not going to give you theaddress right now.
Everything's on Facebook, yada,yada.
I will be there at five o'clock.
Not sure when anybody else willbe there, but I will be there at
(06:53):
five.
There is a band that night.
The band is old school, whoplease take a moment to look
them up.
They're from Cleveland, and Ican't imagine a better band to
be playing the night that we'regonna be out celebrating,
because I looked at their songlist, and it's fucking
phenomenal.
Phenomenal.
It is all old school shit,ranging from, I can't even
(07:16):
think.
First of all, Vanilla Ice, Nice.
Yes, of course.
So it's mud downed, like hiphopshit.
And it's CNC music factory.
The whoever sings the rumpshaker.
Yeah.
All sorts of shit.
It's it enforcer.
I'm pretty
Chris (07:29):
sure it's
Sarah (2) (07:30):
there.
Chris (07:30):
Yeah, that's it.
That's a jam.
Enforcer.
informer.
Yeah.
No, not enforcer.
Sarah (2) (07:35):
Maybe it is enforcer.
Enforcer.
No it isn't.
No it isn't.
Lick your boom.
Boom.
No.
What?
Lick your boom.
Boom.
I don't think those are thewords.
Are you missing Missy Elliot,though?
It's your feminine friend, yeah?
Okay, anyway.
Okay, yeah.
we are going to celebrate April4th at Craft House Stage and
Grill.
I will be there at 5 o'clock.
Cover starts at 6.
if you want to avoid that cover,come on a little bit earlier.
(07:57):
Yeah, come early.
Chris (07:58):
that's that.
Love it.
I'm super excited about that.
And just a quick funny asidebefore we talk about, the Gaster
story of the week.
Yes, enforcer.
I'm going to start calling youthe enforcer.
I choose violence.
Oh, I forgot to tell David thatwe were having that party.
I told your mom and dad we werehaving that party and they were
(08:19):
like, Oh, I don't know if youguys could hear Sarah drinking,
but she's drinking out of one ofour, one of our limited edition
mental funny bone water bottles.
Because now that we're
Sarah (2) (08:30):
nearly famous made by a friend of mine, if you need a
good glitter cup, I know a girl,go ahead, a girl.
Chris (08:36):
so I forgot to mention it to David and, he called me this
morning and he's You didn't tellme you were having a party.
I was like, I barely knew Ibarely registered it.
I'm pretty sure I told you Itried to do that.
I'm pretty sure I told youbecause he, he's got a bad
memory and sometimes I can getaway with it.
And he was like, no, you didn't.
Nope, and I was like, you'reright.
I probably didn't.
I'm sorry.
(08:57):
but David will be there.
So yeah, I'm pretty sure Noahwill be there Are your parents
planning on coming?
What's the if somebody bringsthem then they get it They gotta
leave early cuz we're gonna needto be home and in bed
Sarah (2) (09:09):
I was thinking that I can coax them into coming up
here and they can head down withme and Noah.
I'm probably going to have todrive them.
I don't know, whatever.
But my birthday is the followingday, so they can just come home
with me so they'll be here tocelebrate my birthday because
it's easier to hand me a checkwhen they're here instead of
like, sending the card in themail.
That seems silly.
(09:29):
Right.
Chris (09:30):
Why bother?
Why bother with that?
Shall we move on to the Gaster'sstory of the week?
Speaking of the Gaster's.
Absolutely.
Sarah (2) (09:36):
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
Chris (09:38):
I was reaching far back in the annals of the Gasters.
In the what?
Annals.
Annals?
history, lore, legend, thecollection of stories.
Annals.
I know what you thought.
You know what I thought.
I hate to ruin the mystery orthe magic, but sometimes I put
things in just to see whatyou'll say.
Sarah (2) (09:59):
Reaching into the annals.
That's what I
heard.
Continue.
Chris (10:03):
This is why people can't listen with their grandma.
Anyway, I was, I was throwing itback and I was thinking about
the time our dad wanted to starta Subway franchise
and
then I was thinking about the time our dad had his own,
framing business.
and then I was thinking aboutthe time our dad got really into
basket weaving when our momowned the craft store.
Sarah (2) (10:27):
Yeah,
Chris (10:27):
so I was going through a series of these thoughts and I'm
like which one of these is goodto talk About and not I'm like,
you know what?
Why don't we just lump these alltogether and talk about the
inherited nature of attentiondeficit hyperactivity disorder?
Sarah (2) (10:41):
Yeah,
Chris (10:42):
so that we could We can tie it all together into mental
health and mental wellness.
So I started thinking aboutstories about your dad as a
child And how he would sit thereand wanna play games with
people, but all he would do ismake noises.
Burp, burp,
Sarah (2) (10:58):
burp, burp.
Which has been passed down to meand Ellen.
nin.
Yeah, I don't do it, I don'tknow
Chris (11:03):
why.
I have a different,neurodivergence.
Sarah (2) (11:07):
Yeah, we're just noise makers.
Chris (11:09):
It's fun.
It's fun.
Yeah.
So then I was thinking about,Tying all of these things into,
into your dad's routine changingof obsessions.
And I think we could actually gothrough a timeline of things
that your dad was obsessed with.
Yeah.
my favorite being the logcabins.
Do you remember?
(11:30):
You might've been too little,but.
No, we were going to build a logcabin, right?
Sarah (2) (11:34):
You're not
Chris (11:34):
talking Lincoln logs.
You're talking.
no.
I'm not talking, hey, let's golook at.
Not talking dance lessons.
It would be like a varied lengthof time, but never so short that
we wouldn't remember it andnever so long that anything got
done.
Sarah (2) (11:51):
I remember, did he have, I, I related it to or the
equivalent of mommy having, asewing pattern.
And I feel like daddy had logcabin patterns.
Yes.
Of some sort.
Yes.
Of course, I guess it wasn't,now I'm thinking about it, it
was more like a, yeah, you knowwhat I talk about.
You know what I talk about.
(12:12):
I hear ya.
I hear ya.
he had like books and shit.
Chris (12:17):
and we would, so for those of you who might be a
little bit newer, when Sarah andI were younger, one of our
parents favorite pastimes to dowith us to keep us busy and
quiet and not destroying thingsand not sitting around watching
a bunch of TV was to throw us inthe car and just drive us
around.
And this was
Sarah (2) (12:34):
one of the, we've been out a few times looking at
log cabins.
Chris (12:37):
And I am talking, it was like, kids, get in the car.
And I was 16, 17, and we werestill doing this, kids, get in
the car.
we're going for a drive.
And we would.
We would drive out, we woulddrive up to, what's the place in
the mountains around here?
Ohio Pal?
Sarah (2) (12:52):
Laurel, the Caverns.
Yeah.
I was going to say LaurelTaverns, but yeah.
That's
Chris (12:57):
also a place I think, but not one we would go to on a
Sunday drive.
and we would drive around thereand I remember your mom and dad
looking at places and sayingthis would be a perfect spot to
build a log cabin.
And so the lengths of your dadhaving those plans in our home,
spread out over the dining roomtable, and looking at them and
(13:21):
plotting out where the roomswould be, what kind of logs we
would use, where we would getthe logs.
I think the, there was somebodywho had like a tree that fell
down and your dad went and gotit.
Cause we would use it for ourlog cabin at some point, like
just a random tree.
You picked it up in Smok, maybe.
(13:41):
I got to go on that ride.
That was fun.
You didn't get to go, you werelittle.
Yeah.
But, think about that.
Think about how you got thingsback before there was an
internet.
Your dad had to go someplace Youcouldn't just do a Google search
for who can give me plants for alog cabin.
Sarah (2) (14:00):
You had to find phone numbers, you had to call people,
you had to go places.
How do you even, how do youeven?
I would have, I would have nevergotten anything done.
Chris (14:07):
I don't even like calling
Sarah (2) (14:09):
for fucking pizza.
Chris (14:10):
I'm like, can I just order it online?
if not, maybe I'll go to adifferent pizza place.
Exactly.
Sarah (2) (14:14):
If I can't order it online, I'm not.
Oh I don't give a fuck, I'll gosomewhere else.
Chris (14:20):
This is like the level of commitment he had made to this
log cabin that he was willing toresearch, I don't even know
where you, would you go to thelibrary and what kind of book
are you looking that up at?
Sarah (2) (14:30):
Yeah, I haven't a clue, haven't a clue.
Chris (14:34):
Yeah, I'm just assuming that you would be able to, I
don't know, I have no idea, Iwould be lost.
Even if dropped in 1987, I wouldbe lost, I wouldn't be able to
do a thing.
But yeah, to the extent of thisobsession and it was like that
for a period of time.
And I want to say it wassomething like two years.
Sarah (2) (14:52):
Yeah.
I don't, I have no
Chris (14:53):
concept of time.
And then nothing.
And then nothing.
And then abruptly it was, we'redone with that.
We've moved on.
Now we're obsessed with buildingmuzzle loaders.
I was just going to say guns.
So we're on the same timeline.
Sarah (2) (15:10):
We
Chris (15:10):
remember.
Okay.
Where it, and it, it wasn'tlike, Oh, let's just put that on
the back burner for a veryimportant and significant
reason.
It was, I don't even want totalk about it anymore.
You know what I want to talkabout?
Muzzle loaders.
here's my 15 books on muzzleloading and here are my bars of
lead that I'm gonna have to meltdown in the garage around my
(15:31):
children who are young.
Let me make some molten lead inthe garage and let them touch it
all over.
Think about how much smarter wewould be if we didn't get
exposed to burning lead when wewere little.
I'm not going to give us thatmuch credit.
I'm going to claim it.
I'm good.
I feel like I was probablyexposed more than you were then.
You were smaller.
You were still a tinier brain.
(15:52):
More moldable and shapeable, butthat way that was like the kind
of closed door of it.
And as I was going through likethe attention deficit symptoms
and all of the checklistsThey're like, do you have a lot
of hobbies that you are veryinto obsessively into for
specific durations and then whenyou are done with those hobbies
(16:14):
you never Touch that hobbyagain, and I'm looking over here
in my house because there's acloset of dead hobbies.
There is a closet of giant,giant yarn
that I was going
to, that I was going to crochet with my hands.
There's a, also in there areseveral boxes of knitting
(16:34):
needles, even though I'd likedabble again, but the level of
obsession
that
the ADD brain will latch onto something to the exclusion
of everything else.
Makes me laugh more thananything else about, about ADD.
I can't remember to take mymedicine every day, but I will
obsessively sit down, write acrochet pattern from a book into
(16:56):
my electronic tablet so that Ican have it with me.
All the time.
During the day.
that is the, but I don't knowwhere my car keys are right now.
Sarah (2) (17:06):
No idea.
Priorities.
It's priorities.
Yeah, I did the glitter cups.
I've had a thousand obsessions,but one of the latest was the
glitter cups a few years ago.
I guess it was like five yearsago, but when I decided I was
done with that shit and theamount of fucking money I put
into that shit, I packed it allup.
And my friend, Erin, who makesthe cups now, she came over and
got it and was like, how muchmoney do you want?
(17:27):
I was like, I don't want any.
I want you to get it out of mysight.
That's what I want you to do.
I
Chris (17:32):
don't want it.
It will forever live in this oldcraft graveyard.
Yep.
Sarah (2) (17:36):
I want nothing to do with it.
Nothing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
then, Daddy, and I think some ofhis hobbies came from when he
was laid off.
the next one I remember, I thinkit's the basket weaving when
Mommy had the shop.
Think and then meat cutting
Chris (17:50):
meat
Sarah (2) (17:50):
cutting.
Chris (17:51):
I think meat cutting preceded.
No.
No, I think you're right I thinkyeah basket weaving it used to
be like it used to be a joke,right?
if you were like a dumb athlete,that's what you would major in
college.
what's he majoring?
No basket weaving, bro Yeah Butthere was a there was an actual
kit that you could buy at thecraft corner in Elizabeth back
(18:11):
in the day That was wood andthen you would get a bucket and
you would stoke the wood in thebucket and it was hard to
Sarah (2) (18:19):
it Wasn't very easy,
Chris (18:20):
right?
And it like it would make yourhands feel all weird Yeah, like
when we're talking about crafts,I mean in the world of crafts I
think I'm gonna go with theSharon Schnitta Over the basket
weaving any day
Sarah (2) (18:32):
any day.
He made some like really dad.
He's a creative dude So that'swhere all this comes from, but
he made some pretty cool ass ofbaskets Were, because I think
that's, he'd order the catalogsand go through and order the
different kits, and then I gottatest it out.
I feel like he would save likeextra shit and then build
something outta that.
ah, yes.
Yeah.
Chris (18:51):
Yeah.
and I think that this is one ofthe, one of the ways that I'm
not mad, about the way that mybrain is, I love the fact that I
can get so into something.
You might remember, my obsessionwith CrossFit at one point.
Sarah (2) (19:05):
yeah, you couldn't, I think I tried to divorce you as
my sister.
I don't know exactly how, Itried to emancipate myself.
I don't know.
You're like, please.
I tried to null and void ourrelationship over CrossFit.
My favorite thing aboutCrossFit, though, is that mommy
and daddy started making fun ofyou.
I was like, you guys,
Chris (19:24):
guess what happened?
Guess what happened?
You guys, I lifted the weights,and then I did a snatch and
then, and then, somebody, I haveto go, I can't do anything with
you guys this weekend becausethere is a guy, like a special
guy, an important guy, and he'scoming in from Ohio and he's
going to teach us how to do theclean and jerk.
Yeah.
I gotta be at the box.
Sarah (2) (19:44):
Yeah, it was a lot.
It was fine.
I wasn't.
Don't get me wrong.
I'm all about CrossFit.
That's awesome.
I'm not talking shit on that.
I am talking about the factthat.
You literally, every fiveseconds, CrossFit, something
CrossFit.
I would call you crying aboutsomething.
You'd be like, but listen.
Guess what I did?
Let me tell you about CrossFit.
And it would actually make mefeel better, because then I'd
just feel bad for you.
Chris (20:04):
thank God I don't have to do that.
every friend that I had was fromCrossFit.
Every person that I interactedwith was from CrossFit.
like my whole day was.
It's centered around when I wasgoing to do CrossFit.
Yeah.
I'm like, oh, you know what?
There's times where I can't makeit to the box.
So I'm going to buy myself awhole getup I can put
Sarah (2) (20:22):
in my garage.
You had a whole setup in thegarage?
there's worse things that youcould be obsessed with.
like heroin.
Yeah.
I don't know.
it would be less annoying.
I don't know.
Chris (20:30):
I wouldn't be as annoyed.
If I was doing meth, you wouldhave been like God, at least
she's quiet.
Sarah (2) (20:37):
Yeah, at least she's quieter
Chris (20:39):
now than when she was doing goddamn CrossFit.
CrossFit.
so yeah, that is the, that isone of the things that I enjoy
about, inherited neurodivergenceis that it gave me the ability
to focus on that, that onething.
And, yeah, it was fun while Iwanted to do it and then I
didn't want to do it.
And I never talked about itagain.
Never.
literally one day I was like, Idon't have time to go today.
(21:01):
And then I never went again.
Sarah (2) (21:03):
And then he went to Japan, was it Japan?
Right after that.
And then that was the next, likeyou talked about Japan
constantly and that guy.
I don't know why our daddy waslike, so Japan's the new
CrossFit.
Chris (21:15):
Yes.
That is exactly what happened.
I was like, oh my God, you guys,when I was in Japan.
Sarah (2) (21:20):
Yeah.
And that's what I, that's what Irelate, CrossFit and Japan.
Chris (21:23):
Oh, goodness gracious.
so there you go.
Jumbo, thank you so much fordelivering the spicy brain.
Yeah.
And making me the obsessive, yetfunny and for a very fixed and
short period of time person thatI
Sarah (2) (21:36):
am.
Yeah.
I dig it.
I dig it.
We mentioned he did the meatcutting.
I can't remember what else hedid.
The picture frame shit wasprobably the longest and one of
the only things he really mademoney on.
And he was really good at it.
I feel like I, we have to callthat out.
Like he was really good at it.
Not just like throwing a mat onsomething like he did intricate
designs and shit on the mats.
(21:57):
It was.
That was a fun one to watch.
And then when he retired, hebecame a picker.
He was a, first, first he was aday trader.
Oh, yeah, I remember he was daytrading and then he did the
laundry up for a day and then hewent back to day trading.
Because that was right when theinternet started.
Chris (22:13):
He was like, oh my god.
Have you seen this page calledthe Motley Fool?
Sarah (2) (22:18):
Yeah.
Yeah, that was his crossfit.
He retired, how old was he whenhe retired?
55.
Yeah, that's absurd.
Think about that.
I'm 52.
Yeah, no, I will, I'll beworking when I'm his age right
now, which is 78.
We keep buying these fuckinghouses.
Damn it.
We'll never not have a mortgage.
(22:39):
Bad choices.
Bad choices.
Chris (22:40):
We're gonna put up a link to buy t shirts from us.
Yeah.
Yeah, we
Sarah (2) (22:44):
need help.
Yeah.
One of these days we'll sell tshirts.
Chris (22:48):
Anyway, why don't you, why don't you get us into the
new book?
Cause I'm excited to talk aboutit.
Cause I feel like it ties instuff that we just read with
stuff that we've read like earlyon.
Yeah.
Mid
Sarah (2) (23:02):
range stuff.
Yeah, 100%.
so anybody who doesn't know Ournew book is the book by Mel
Robbins, the, Let Them Theory.
So it's pretty popular thesedays.
I'm going to talk today aboutthe introduction of the book, in
the first section of the book,which is called the Let Them
Theory.
Crazy.
(23:23):
And chapter one, which is stopwasting your life on things you
can't control, which how manytimes have we heard this, it's
never enough.
Continue to do it.
Cause I still can't do itanyway.
Chapter two, getting started thelet them plus let me.
So I really like, like that oneand I have a shit ton of notes,
so I'll do my best to not justread word for word and include
(23:46):
everything.
The first thing I want to talkabout though, is Mel Robbins and
her story.
Because there's a part of methat walks away from the
introduction saying, I can stilldo this.
I can still fucking besomething.
I can still be amazing.
I can change everything.
(24:08):
Because speaking of, and I feellike the gaster story of the
week goes with it.
Because she was a lot like Ifeel I was, jumping around from
jobs.
she was an attorney, so that's alittle different, but jumping
around from jobs and like tryingdifferent things all the time
and just could never figure outwhat she wanted to be when she
grew up.
And I was like, yeah, it's me.
(24:29):
That's me.
and at the age of 41.
she found herself and her familyin a shit ton of debt, like 800
grand worth of debt and, no job.
So I was like, besides the jobthing, and I don't have that
much of debt.
I was like, wow, that's, thatall sounds really familiar.
Chris (24:47):
That feels, yeah, it feels like every key
intersection in your life.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sarah (2) (24:53):
Yeah.
we've done great work on thedebt.
Like we've, we're doing awesomethings there.
We've done awesome things.
but the whole just job hopping,trying to figure out what I want
to be when I grow up.
all of that shit and I've come along way in that in just a year,
but that all hit it, hit achord, struck a chord.
And so she got to a place whereshe was stuck and I was like,
Oh, I hear ya.
(25:13):
And she said something in thebook that I was like, yep.
That makes sense too.
She said the funny thing aboutbeing stuck is that you know
exactly what you need to do.
you're not really stuck, becauseyou know exactly what you need
to do to fix it.
You need to get your ass out ofbed, you need to pay your
fucking bills, you need to finda job.
these are all things that youknow that you can do.
And I was like, true,interesting.
(25:35):
this is her first genius, isthat she came up with the 5
second rule for herself.
And she decided that she wasgoing to stop fucking around,
and when she felt like puttingsomething off, she was just
going to count down from 5, andthen you have to do it.
So instead of hitting snooze,The alarm goes off, 5, you get
out of bed, you got to do whatyou got to do.
And she, this really helps, shegot on a track, she got a job,
(25:59):
like things were going muchbetter.
here's where I'm like, you, whatthe fuck?
Damn it.
She's invited, and the way, Ilove the way she tells the story
though.
She's I was invited to do aspeech about changing jobs or
changing careers or some shitlike that, like just a speech,
whatever.
She talks about how she goesout, has a complete panic attack
for 21 solid minutes while she'sgiving this speech, loses
(26:21):
everything she was going to say,and blurts out the five second
rule.
Great, she has a panic attack onstage.
Yeah, she has a panic attack.
She can't think of anything elseto say, so she's here's what I
do.
And she's been doing this fortwo years and thought never to
share it with anybody.
And she blurts out the fivesecond rule and then gets off
stage and she's thank God thatis over.
(26:42):
Fuck.
That was the worst experience ofmy whole entire life.
Turns out she wasn't just doinga speech.
It was one of the first TEDTalks.
It was a very early TED Talk,right?
Like you just got invited.
that's just like someone, likeyour buddy just asked you, hey,
I want to give you a speech.
Anyway, so this, it took offfrom there, which is awesome.
And I think it's a great rule.
(27:03):
That was our first book, The 5Second Rule.
I have been trying to employ itin my life, this week, just
simply by not hitting the snoozebutton.
So I'm happy to report that,Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday
this week, I 1'd my ass out ofbed.
However, on Sunday, I was soworried about it and anxious
about it that I literally wokeup 18, 000 times throughout the
(27:27):
night.
Like I do when I'm anxious aboutflying, like I can't sleep.
that's all I could think aboutin my sleepy brain was 5, 4, And
I would wake up and I'd be like,5, no, I don't have to do it
yet.
I don't have to do it yet.
Oh
Chris (27:40):
my
Sarah (2) (27:40):
God.
That's hilarious.
Chris (27:42):
So have you been 5, ing?
No, because it turns out there'sa chaos gremlin that lives in my
head that's like you're smarterthan 5 4 3 2 1 and That
intelligent, chaos gremlin islike, it would be really good
for you to get out of bed rightnow.
You could get your day started.
You could do some stuff.
But 5,
Sarah (2) (28:04):
Fuck you.
It's not, and I think she saysit in there and it's something
that we say all the time.
It's not easy.
it's simple.
Sounds super simple.
But it's not easy.
you have to push yourself to doit.
And it's all about, again,Getting into small little
consistent habits and you'reusing the 5 4 3 2 1 to do those
habits instead of being like,oh, yeah I have one of him make
this habit of working out, but Idon't feel 5 4 3 2 1 go do it
(28:27):
and the one thing I wrote downhere is that she noted that
along the way She heard a lot offeedback about the five second
rule And one of the things thatthey found is that it was
actually used by over a thousandpeople to stop themselves from
attempting suicide.
Love it.
Chris (28:43):
It's so brilliant.
this one was really like,reading this really brought
together like two separatethings that we'd been, that we'd
been talking about.
It brought together those atomichabits, those things that you
can link to make stuff happen.
taking my medicine in themorning when I drink my coffee,
like that works.
Being able to get up out of bedfor me is about scheduling the
day.
(29:03):
Like I have to get up at 6.
30 because I have shit to do at7.
Yeah, like that is gonna get meout of bed way more than 1 you
have shit to do at 7 It's onyour calendar It's like those
are the things that get me to dothese things and the chaos
gremlin in my head can't argueWith a calendar invite like he
just yeah, he's not successful.
(29:24):
I found another thing but let mefit The 5 4 3 2 1 is also about
moments, right?
Like when we're thinking aboutthe meditation, where we're
thinking about being mindful,the trick is to give yourself
the five seconds to say, Hey,just make the good decision,
right?
Five, four, don't let anythingelse in your brain kind of short
(29:45):
circuit you.
And the same thing with keepingprevent, the opposite end of the
spectrum with preventing,preventing you from making a
very bad decision.
give yourself the heartbeat tothe.
to think about what your nextmove is.
That's the mindful piece of it.
You don't have to, you don't, 5,4, don't like 2, 1, put that
down and walk away.
1, go do something productiveand, beneficial.
(30:09):
Give yourself like that time.
I just found it reallyinteresting that those two
things can connect in, in
Sarah (2) (30:15):
the next book that we're reading.
yeah, it seems to have workedout perfectly.
And this one was a last minuteswitch.
We were going to do a differentone,
which we will eventually,
but what's that?
They listened last week.
They know we were going to do adifferent book.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
They're used to it.
Yeah, we probably did mentionthat we were going to do a
different one, but yeah, weswitched it up.
We switched it up.
the other thing that shementioned in the introduction is
(30:40):
another one that involves five,which I liked.
I like patterns of things.
but anyway.
giving yourself a high five inthe mirror.
I was like, what?
What?
What?
So I forget exactly what she wastalking about, but she said.
That it's one of the fastestways to rewire your mindset for
self confidence is to giveyourself a high five in the
mirror.
I haven't tried it, but I feellike I need to give myself a
(31:02):
high five way more.
I think every time I go in thebathroom, I should high five
myself.
And it makes me giggle and Ican't see myself doing it.
But then again, I couldn't seemyself meditating.
Meditating.
Chris (31:13):
there again, the chaos gremlin in the back of my mind,
the sarcastic one who's yeah, Iwould, why would you ever want
to meditate?
It seems stupid.
the one who's five, four, three,two, one, fuck off, the same one
is like, how is this going tohelp?
Like the chaos gremlin that'salways looking for that
scientific reason, like atomichabits make sense because I can
draw the connections and I can,so I do think there's
Sarah (2) (31:36):
scientific shit behind both of these.
I
Chris (31:39):
do too.
But.
If it's not,
Sarah (2) (31:41):
we didn't really dig into it, but that's also
something that she started doinglater and then was like, wow,
there's, wow, why does thiswork?
Let me find out why this works.
So she digs into that shit.
So that's the intro.
That's how Mel Robbins has gonefrom the age of 41 being in a
shit ton of debt to what is she?
(32:02):
50 something now and beinggazillionaire.
Brilliant.
Making a huge difference in somany lives, especially now that
she's gaining popularity andwith the book and her podcast
and all of that, she's fuckingkilling it.
I really liked that.
I liked it.
It's never too late.
We can do it.
We can kill it.
(32:22):
We can help people.
We can do shit.
We can do good shit.
So chapter one is stop wastingyour life on things you can't
control.
So what did we learn that wecan't control?
Other people's opinions.
Yay! ding, you get a gold star.
Yay! yay! So it's, it talksabout how again, the problem
isn't you.
(32:42):
The problem is the Power thatyou give other people and their
opinions over you.
And most of us do this in anunknowingly manner, which we've
talked about already.
And the let them theory reallyis about freeing yourself from
trying to manage other people.
And how they control themselvesaround you and how they form
(33:05):
their opinions about you.
So it's really all about thefreedom aspect of things.
They're freeing you from theseburdens of trying to control
other things and other people.
And the major thing about thisis when you think about it, it's
not like It's not like peoplejust, they don't have power over
you unless you give them thatpower.
(33:27):
you're giving them that powerconstantly, and that's something
that before we started doing allof this, I never even realized
it.
And it all makes so much
Chris (33:36):
sense.
It's when we start talking aboutgiving other people power over
us, it's that goes right back toother people's opinions and
being, in, in being afraid to dothings because what if, what if.
So it ties so perfectly intothat, and it ties into, oddly, a
movie we've talked about on herebefore.
(33:56):
you remember Labyrinth withDavid Bowie?
Yeah, he had a potato in hispants.
He did.
It was Olivia's first crush.
Yeah, he came from the ballet.
He leaped right off the balletstage right into my home.
Yeah.
But there's a line in therewhere she's through dangers
untold and hardships unnumbered,blah, blah, blah.
(34:16):
I've made my way here and thesecret to her being able to
like, do the brave and scarything that, that she has to do
in this epic fantasy movie is,she says, you have no power over
me.
And like everything, everythinggoes back to the way that it
should be.
Everything changes.
And I, I think that's just thereason that line sticks with so
(34:37):
many people is because weconstantly give other people the
power, right?
We constantly do that.
Sarah (2) (34:44):
I think it's just a human nature kind of thing.
It's just, that's what we'rehardwired to do.
Where the
Chris (34:51):
science comes in.
Sarah (2) (34:52):
Yeah.
Chris (34:53):
Yeah,
Sarah (2) (34:53):
for sure.
Chris (34:54):
The science comes in and tells us, the reason we try to
do that is because that's how weget along, right?
That's how we make a tribe.
That's how we, that's how wemake sure that, that we're part
of the group.
Sometimes that serves us andsometimes it doesn't.
Like we talked about all throughthe FOPO book.
Sarah (2) (35:12):
Yeah.
Chris (35:13):
It's nice when the, when those inclinations are to do
good things for other people whoare in your tribe, being able to
share and extend.
But you have to.
You have to take care ofyourself first, and when you're
constantly paralyzed for fear ofdoing something wrong and fear
of getting rejected, then it'sreally hard.
So yeah, I love it when it allcomes together.
(35:34):
Hannibal on the A team.
I thought you meant HannibalLecter.
Yeah,
Sarah (2) (35:38):
I do
Chris (35:38):
a Chianti.
Sarah (2) (35:39):
Wow, that's interesting.
Chris (35:41):
No,
Sarah (2) (35:41):
the A team.
Chris (35:42):
I love it when a plan comes together.
Sarah (2) (35:45):
I thought the prom story was pretty cool, like
where it all came from,especially having a 15 year old
and knowing how he functions,and it's maddening, absolutely
maddening.
So the short cliff notes ofwhere the let them theory came
from is that Mel Robbins has, Ithink, three kids, two daughters
and a son.
The son's the youngest.
She went through proms with thedaughters, and daughters,
(36:06):
they're, they planned formonths.
And everything was taken careof.
Her son decided to go to theprom like the week earlier, and
he didn't even have a date.
this is all yeah, last minute,so she is getting all this shit
ready, blah, blah, blah, blah,blah.
they go to take pictures.
It starts to downpour.
So this is just another man,nobody here has an umbrella.
Nobody's planning for this.
(36:26):
Then they start talking aboutwhere they're going to go to
dinner.
And she was like, you guys don'tknow where you're going to
dinner?
you don't have reservations.
You don't have plans.
And her son was like, no, mom,just leave it alone.
Just leave it alone.
Like he was already mad becausehe told her not to bring the
corsage and she did that.
It's just, yeah.
she gets on her phone, just likeother moms, and they're all,
looking for a place that'llaccept a reservation for 20 or
(36:48):
whatever they had.
And she can't find anything.
And she's trying to like, whydon't you do that?
And he's Mom, just leave it, no,leave me alone.
Leave me alone.
Leave me alone.
And finally, her daughterinterjected and was like, Mom,
let them.
She was like, what are youtalking about?
I can't just let them.
They want to go to McDonald's.
I can't just, it's their, Ican't let them.
She's if that's what they wantto do, let them.
(37:11):
And then they have to go out inthe rain to go run to the car
and she's Oh, his new shoes.
Look at her dress.
And they need, we need to findUmbrella and the daughter's just
let them, if that's what theywant, let them.
And that's where it all started.
It's I
Chris (37:26):
love this story so much because it is about the, I wish
you guys could see the face I'mmaking, but like the iron grip
that we feel like we have tohave on everything before we
feel good.
And the fact that.
Oh my gosh, I am a quote machinetoday, but yeah, if you will
recall Tom Cruise in Days ofThunder.
Yeah, I won't recall because Inever watched Days of Thunder.
(37:49):
What?
But you're missing out.
You're missing out.
Oh, and I'm wrong.
It's not Tom Cruise.
It is Nicole Kidman.
When speaking with Tom Cruise'scharacter, Cole Trickle, and she
says in her adorable Australianaccent, Cole, control is an
illusion.
And I was like, I'll be darned,how am I getting a philosophical
nugget like this from fuckingDays of Thunder?
Sarah (2) (38:13):
Yeah, it's true.
Chris (38:15):
Control is an illusion.
It's definitely
Sarah (2) (38:17):
true.
But that's what it's all about.
And that's why I think of thingslike, I can, Owen, okay, so what
are you guys doing?
I don't know.
Who's picking you up?
I'm not sure.
are you going to the soccergame?
Yeah, I think.
who's taking you?
Cause I can't.
I think Scott.
Will you think Scott?
Or do you know Scott?
Yeah, I think Scott.
Okay, but do you know Scott?
what is your plan?
(38:37):
What time is he picking you up?
I don't know.
I'm going to guess, game startsat 7, so pick me up at 645
maybe.
What's maybe?
Why?
Why can't, can you not just giveme the specifics of what is
going on?
And this is where I was like,wow, this is so very relatable.
And I love the fact that this iswhere it started was just a very
super relatable thing that allof us parents go through in
(39:00):
trying to have that controlwhen.
It's not necessary all the time,we'll get to that caveat, but
these are things that we justhave to let go and she found
that, putting this little nuggetinto play, moving along, that
she was like, Oh, wow, this isreally, this is something else
and people around her husbandwas like, you seem a lot
(39:21):
happier, like few weeks afterthis, cause she was just letting
it go, letting that control goand trying to, the concept is
pouring.
Your energy more into what youcan't control, which again,
we've talked about is you andhow you react and How you're
curious about things instead ofautomatically shutting the door
(39:41):
on things It's all about how youdecide to deal with the things
that come at you so next part ofthis we'll get into chapter two,
but The major thing here is thelet them is just the one part
and it seems super simple whichlike everything else
Chris (39:59):
Yeah, like everything else.
There's that right that balance,right?
there are situations where youcan't be like let them yeah When
Olivia was one and we had herlittle birthday cake and that
she was trying to grab thecandle and David's you know Let
her she'll just say it'll burnher hand.
She'll learn I was like thatseems like no extreme idea maybe
we back Pull that back a littlebit.
Seems like I could help her
Sarah (2) (40:20):
out with that.
Chris (40:21):
Maybe I tell her no a couple times and then she'll try
it when I'm not looking.
And then she'll learn.
But yes, it seems hard.
No, it seems easy.
let them.
Oh, this will be the easiestone.
Done.
I don't even need to read thebook.
But it is, again, you get it.
There's so much more
Sarah (2) (40:35):
to it.
this is just laying out thebeginning of it and where it
comes from.
But the next part of it is letme.
So if you're just stopping atthe let them.
You're not gonna get out of thisanything and you're probably
gonna find yourself prettylonely in everything that you
do.
have to counter it with a letme.
we go into Chapter two, which iscalled getting started and it's
(40:56):
let them plus let me.
she tells a social media storyabout how she gets on to
Facebook, whatever, and she seesa group of friends went on a
girl's trip and she was like,oh, that's so nice.
And then realized, yeah, Iwasn't included.
Yeah.
So she's on the social media andshe sees her friends went on a,
a, girl's trip and she wasn'tincluded.
(41:18):
So immediately her brain goesto, what did I do?
Did I do something?
Are they mad at me?
what do I need to do?
Another long story short, itcomes back to, she was worrying
about these things and puttingthings into other people's
brains and it wasn't even truestuff, right?
This was funny because ROT.
there was something on Facebookand I was like, Oh, I wasn't
(41:39):
invited.
But yeah.
Wow.
And so not like to that extent,but same situation because as
she's thinking about it, she waslike, wait a second.
What was the last time I reachedout to these people?
What was the last time we reallyhung out?
Like these are women that wespent a lot of time together
when our kids were younger, butsince then work has taken over.
I haven't had time.
(42:00):
That's not it.
And to them, it's not, it wasn'tpersonal.
They didn't think, Hey, you knowwhat we'll do?
We won't invite Mel.
It wasn't personal.
That's not what it was about.
And that kind of, so it comesback to that.
You just have to look at thatand say, okay, That's the let me
part of it, okay, so I can sithere and say, let them do
whatever, let them do whatever,let them do whatever, and be
(42:23):
pissy about it, but then youhave to come back and say, wait
a second, and reeval, reevaluatewhat you're gonna do, and then
this is the point where you'relike, oh, check myself, I
haven't done anything remotelyclose to being their friend.
So what am I going to do aboutit?
Do I feel bad enough that I'mgoing to reach out to them and
try to make the, is that howit's going to go?
Or am I just going to walk awayand it's fine.
(42:44):
But that's, I don't know how, Idon't think I'm explaining it
well enough, but the let me partof it is taking control, you
taking control of what you cando.
Chris (42:54):
It comes back and this is why I was geeked to, to read
this book and read the intro andin this first part.
Because, again, if you thinkabout, one of the main messages
of the subtle art of not givinga fuck was about responsibility.
Like, I can be butthurt becausesomebody excluded me from
(43:16):
something on Facebook.
Or, I can look at that and belike, good for you, off, off you
go.
If I want to go on girls tripswith friends, what do I need to
do to make that happen?
obviously, it's not going to bewith those girls, so I can
either be like, Alright, fairdues, I'll say hey to you when I
see ya out, but what do I needto do to make it so I can go?
(43:37):
how can I, take control of that?
How can I take responsibilityfor making my life what I want
my life to be?
And then take steps to do that.
Join a book club, learn how toknit, reach out to people that
you haven't talked to, and makethe assumption that it.
The reason that this ishappening is something that,
that, that isn't a direct resultof people out to get me, but is
(44:02):
a direct result of things that,that I can then identify and
take control of.
Exactly.
Sarah (2) (44:08):
And you can have the proper reaction to instead of
just being pissed off andletting it eat away at you.
And that's what.
That was a big thing that, ifshe wasn't able to do this, she
knows that she would havefestered on this for days, which
is exactly what I would do.
Right.
And what was funny about this is the thing on
Facebook that I saw, I was like,Oh yeah, man.
(44:29):
And then I was like, wait asecond.
When was the last time youtalked to these girls?
Oh, for a year.
Why would I be invited?
And there's it was just, it wasso dumb.
So dumb.
But I love talking about thisand the things that we've
already read, a thing that shepointed out here is that the
theory isn't, it's not justhacking your mindset.
It's rooted in a lot of theancient philosophies and
(44:50):
psychological concepts thatwe've talked about.
Like stoicism.
Is that how you say it?
Because it seems wrong.
Stoicism.
Which is, yeah, which isbasically focus on yourself
because there is where your truepower lies.
And then Buddhism, which helpsyou not only accept reality, but
also separate yourself from theneed to change everything.
(45:11):
The Detachment Theory.
Which is to create a mental gapbetween your emotions and the
situation at hand, allowingyourself to observe what's
happening without beingconsumed.
Which to me, was justautomatically meditation.
taking a thought, throwing itout.
Chris (45:29):
It's that pause.
Yeah.
It's that pause and givingyourself that space to make the
right decision.
Sarah (2) (45:34):
Exactly.
And then, I wrote a bunch ofshit down.
Okay, the next thing that Iabsolutely loved was the seesaw
visual.
do you recall the seesaw visual?
Okay, so you have a seesaw.
And you're on one end.
And all the other people.
So in this particular case, ifwe go back to the social media
thing, she's on one end and allher friends are over here.
(45:56):
So when you're not using the letme part of things, Or let them
part of things, you're creatingall this weight on yourself and
you weigh down that seesaw andtherefore you're giving them all
this power above you.
So what you need to do, then youcome in and you say, let them
fuck it, let them.
And that reverses that and givesyou a little bit, a little boost
(46:18):
of superiority.
I don't need them.
I don't need that.
And it reverses it.
So now you're up here.
But then what happens whenyou're up here all the time and
you're just on your high horse?
That's not too fun all the time.
So then you have to bring thelet me part of it in and that's
what brings everybody to theirlevel playing ground.
And that's what levels out theseesaw, which I thought was
really, I liked thatillustration in the book.
(46:41):
I thought that was really cool.
So let me see.
So yeah, without, I'm going toread this because I thought this
was good.
Without them, others are overyou.
You have the heavy side by yourown doing.
You're letting the others havepower over you.
With let them, you're freed fromthat weight and the seesaw
teeters in the other direction,leaving you in the superior
role, but then you're strandedin your superiority.
(47:02):
So you have to go to the let me,which brings everything onto
that level playing field.
And then this is where awarenesscomes back into it.
Which goes back to themeditating and all of that and
doing that gap that you giveyourself time to breathe.
And in saying that, it's allabout giving other people grace
and space to live their livesand then giving yourself the
(47:24):
same.
and a few things like let themstop expecting, let them, me,
take responsibility.
Let me take responsibility.
Let me be more proactive.
Let me develop.
Let me prioritize.
Let me reach out.
Chris (47:37):
Yeah, I think every single one of these things is
the secret, right?
It's being able to say, I haveresponsibility for my own life.
I don't have responsibility forall of the bad things that have
happened in my life, but I havethe responsibility to react and
adjust to those things.
I don't have the responsibilityif I go out here and get into a
(48:00):
car accident and end up with,horrific injuries.
I have the responsibility tomold and shape my life based on
that happening to me.
That is how I grow as a person.
I have the responsibility tolook around me all the time and
be like, I don't particularlycare for this or I don't mind
this because I'm getting a lotof opportunities to learn,
(48:24):
right?
this sucks for right now, but Iknow that I'm learning and I
know that I'm growing.
If I'm able to takeresponsibility for, if I'm in
this situation, And I'm like,wow, this is so totally.
F'd up and I'm so worried aboutit because somebody is impacting
me, somebody is making thesehorrific decisions and I'm like,
I don't understand what you'redoing right now, right?
(48:46):
like my, my, my boss at work ismaking bad decisions and making
my life a struggle.
okay, you got a couple ofoptions, you can take
responsibility for where you arein that situation, and you can
say, alright, I don't have tocontrol what you're doing, boss.
This is, you are impacting mylife in a way that makes it this
way, so I'm gonna let you doyou.
(49:06):
You do you, you act the way thatyou're gonna act, you make
decisions that you're gonnamake, you're gonna deal with the
consequences of that, what Ihave to do is deal with the
consequences of the situationthat I'm in, right?
it's this full circle theorythat pulls everything into kind
of a nice, neat little package.
I'm super excited to read thenext couple of chapters.
Sarah (2) (49:28):
Yeah, me too.
she ends this section with twowarnings or two questions.
Does the theory apply tochildren?
and like I said earlier, yes,but there are caveats and, what
we're going to be focusing on inthe book is adulthood.
and she'll be touching upon itthroughout the book.
Like we're talking adults here,right?
So there will be a mention ofthat.
and then the next one was, whatif the theory makes you lonely?
(49:52):
let them.
So now I'm lonely because I leteverybody let them.
then you need to recess howyou're using it because you're
using it wrong.
You're not doing the secondstep.
You're not pulling the let meinto it.
So these are the things that youneed to keep in mind throughout
the book.
We're gonna be focusing onadulthood throughout the book.
It's really important that we'retalking about let them and let
me and we're focusing on both ofthem to have that equilibrium,
Chris (50:14):
Yeah.
Yeah.
this is lovely
Sarah (2) (50:17):
and This is,
Chris (50:19):
this is
Sarah (2) (50:20):
lovely, this is lovely.
So next week you are going torun the show and you're going to
take us into the second sessionwhich is called You and the Let
Me Theory, Chapter 3, which I'msuper excited about especially
because of the name.
The name of it is Shocker, Lifeis Stressful, Who Knew?
Amazing.
(50:40):
Chapter 4 is Let Them Stress YouOut.
So I'm assuming the next sectionis a little bit about stress and
how we're going to use the LetThem Theory to drive us through
it.
So that's it.
Chris (50:51):
No, I love it.
I really do enjoy picking andpulling from the, our past
stuff.
and tying it in, it's one of myfavorite parts of doing this.
It's one of the reasons I wantedto do it this way, because I was
able to make like super weirdconnections between the subtle
art of not giving a fuck andBrene Brown.
I was like, what if there'ssomething here?
(51:12):
What if all of these dumb assself help book reading books
that I've been reading andleaving on the shelf and going,
Oh, interesting.
What a fantastic theory.
What if there's something there?
What if there's me on thisphone?
Yeah.
Sarah (2) (51:23):
That'd be great.
And that's what, I originallydidn't want to go into Let Them
because I felt it's just anotherbook of, what we're doing, and
it is.
But I think that's the mostimportant thing is that this is
a practice that we have to getused to, that this is something
that is going to be part of ourlives for the rest of our lives.
It's not like we, you read thatone book.
the subtle art of giving a fuck,yeah, it's awesome, and then you
(51:45):
put it on the shelf and go aboutyour life.
yeah, that's how you're notchanging anything.
So if you continue to stackthese things, it's like the
habit stacking.
You're just continuing to findnew ways, different ways, and
find that you can intertwinethem and make it work for you.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Chris (52:01):
000 different books out there on how to lose weight.
There he is.
Macho.
Sarah (2) (52:07):
There he is.
He just woke up.
Perfect time.
Chris (52:10):
Yeah.
There's 10, 000 different waysto lose weight, a hundred
different books on it.
And this is the same.
There's only one way to loseweight and it's to find the
thing that works for you, thatwill help you lose weight.
Sarah (2) (52:21):
And I feel like she set the stage for that at the
beginning when she said, youknow what's funny about when
you're stuck, you know what todo, like we know what to do, but
we need to continue to reinforcethese things and we need to
continue to surround ourselveswith things that will help us do
these things because justbecause we know what to do,
doesn't make it easy.
Chris (52:38):
And for me, it always comes back to finding the stuff
that's important to you.
what is the important thing thatI'm going to let them, what is
the important thing that I'mgoing to take responsibility
for?
What are the things that areannoying, but I just don't care
enough?
Fine, we, you can, I'll beannoyed about those, but what do
I want to really lay into?
and that's how you, I thinkthat's how you move the needle.
Sarah (2) (53:00):
I like it, move the needle.
we're gonna wrap up, before wewrap up though, a few things.
On April 4th, our anniversaryparty, Craft house, stage and
grill.
Check out old school online,check out their music.
It's going to be pretty awesome.
Super excited about it.
If you could please, if you'reinterested in coming and joining
us, shoot us an email, remembergastergirls at gmail.
(53:22):
com.
Even if you're not going to comejoin us, send us an email and
tell us that, our email address,that's pretty cool.
In addition to that, find us onFacebook if you haven't already,
The Mental Funny Bone.
Do we have a handle on Facebook?
I don't know how it works.
I don't know what a handle is.
Just look up The Mental Funny.
Yeah, I'm not really sure.
Becca said it the other day, soI felt like I knew what I was
talking about.
she's cool.
And we are working, Becca isworking tirelessly to help us
(53:46):
get some other social mediathings set up.
Instagram, TikTok, Substack.
I don't know what other shit Idon't know what the kids are
doing these days.
Yeah.
I can tell you we won't be on X.
That's for sure.
Okay.
So that's it.
We're going to wrap it up.
Till next week.
Keep on laughing and What?
Before you say the tagline.
That was it.
(54:06):
I was just going to say keep onlaughing.
Chris (54:08):
Hey, if you guys could, if you guys could go to the
social media things or thepodcast things or wherever
you're listening to this.
Yeah, that's it.
That's it.
If you could like it andsubscribe and tell a friend.
Yeah.
We're, we are endeavoring togive you guys some good stuff to
listen to.
And it turns out if you'refeeling a bit shy about sharing
(54:28):
the fact that you listen to acomedy mental health podcast,
People dig it.
Turns out I've, I've, gottenover my shyness and shared it
with a bunch of people andpeople that I did not expect to,
to really like it have come upand said, Hey, I listened to
your podcast.
And then they followed it upwith, it was funny.
So I like when that
Sarah (2) (54:47):
happens.
That's awesome.
But yeah, so wherever you listento your podcast, make sure you
subscribe to the podcast, likethe podcast, share the podcast,
and also go on YouTube andsubscribe there.
Yeah, definitely.
All
Chris (55:00):
you guys.
all right.
What is that?
keep on laughing.
Keep laughing.
Have a good week.
Keep laughing.
Sarah (2) (55:05):
We'll figure out something to end.
Yeah, we're gonna, yeah.
All right.
Love you.
Bye.
Love you.
Bye.
Welcome to the Mental Funny Bone, a podcast where we
strive to create a safe andentertaining space where
listeners can explore mentalhealth topics, find solace, and
enjoy laughter.
This podcast aims todestigmatize mental health
discussions and empowerindividuals to approach their
own well being with humor andopenness.
I laugh because you're chewingyour, you have your hand over
(00:26):
your face.
I wasn't, I was reading theintro, so I didn't totally see
you and I thought that you werejust laughing at me and it
reminded me of us laughing atnothing and not being able to
stop and pissing daddy off.
Yeah.
Or yeah, or pissing mommy off atthe ballet.
Potatoes.
They look like fucking potatoes.
Chris (00:48):
Here's what happened.
I went out into the kitchen toget my emotional support bowl of
candy.
And then when I came in, I satdown at my desk and had to
immediately have an emotionalsupport candy.
Sarah (2) (00:59):
Yeah.
And I could hear the rapper,which is great.
I like it.
Chris (01:03):
Hi, I'm Sarah.
And I'm Christine.
And we are not mental healthprofessionals, but we do suggest
that you go and see a mentalhealth professional on a routine
basis.
It will make you feel better.
If you need help finding one,there's a, there's links in our
show notes all the time.
And while you're there in theshow notes, there's also a
(01:24):
little link to the fan mail.
The fan mail, despite beingnamed fan mail, will actually
let you send us a
Sarah (2) (01:30):
Yeah, and I should also note, when you send that
text, if you could just signyour name.
I don't know.
Just give us an idea who youare, because it doesn't tell us,
and then we have to search onour phones to see if we know
you, because all it gives us isthe last four digits of your
phone number.
Luckily, that has worked out forus.
I have confirmed everyone whohas sent us a fan mail.
(01:51):
But, just if you're doing that,and we do love that you do that
for us, just give us a littlename.
That's great.
Chris (01:57):
Great.
And if you don't want to, tellus your name.
If you want to be anonymous.
Make up a real funny name.
Yeah.
Mike.
Yeah.
Last name Huntz.
Sarah (2) (02:08):
Dude's name isn't Mike.
Chris (02:09):
It never is.
Sarah never is.
Phil.
Phil McCracken.
Also, stop it.
This is not what we're here for.
Also, speaking of male, Yes, andfan mail it has come to our
attention that at the beginningwe were all about telling you
guys the email address where youcould get in touch with us and
Someone has recently pointed outthat we haven't said it in seven
(02:30):
episodes or something.
So
yeah
gastergirls at gmail.
com g a s t e r g i r l s gmail.
com and gmail is spelled gFanmail.
Sarah (2) (02:49):
com.
There you are.
Oh, I'm giddy today.
I'm not sure I'm ready with mymaterial, but I sure do have a
smile and laughing going onhere, so we're good.
We're
Chris (02:58):
all good.
Um, speaking of fanmail, I wouldlike to highlight a few pieces
of fanmail that we've receivedthrough the fanmail link.
These people had sent us acouple of good thoughts.
the first one, the most recentone, I think is the most funny.
One, because all it says is, Howhave you been?
And then it gives two quotes, Isaw friends who made me feel
(03:21):
good about myself.
I hit a deer.
Hilarious.
You guys, if you need betterencouragement that no one here
is going to judge what you send,it should be the fact that I was
so delighted to get thatalphabet soup salad.
It
Sarah (2) (03:36):
was my absolute favorite.
So this is where it comes intoplay that I use the last four
digits of the phone and my phoneto figure out who this was.
It's a childhood buddy of mine,forever friend, Jared.
And when I found out it was himand God love you, Jared, thank
you so much for saying please.
Every time you listen, will youplease hit the fan mail and just
send something.
Cause it made me so super happy.
(03:58):
Yeah, I was not surprised at allthat this came from Jared and I
think the end hilarious likejust hearing him I should have
known it was him.
Actually,
Chris (04:08):
there's it's a bizarre mix of some capitals some
punctuation there arequotations, but there's that
there's two dots instead ofthree dots like it is a My
Sarah (2) (04:18):
favorite thing about it is that I could see him
smiling and laughing while he'styping in on his little phone.
Hilarious.
And it makes me so fuckinghappy.
Chris (04:26):
I will tell you the most important one that we got was
from, I think, another one ofyour friends.
But I was in my kitchen having asmall, nervous breakdown.
Oh, this is
Sarah (2) (04:35):
you.
I thought you were talking, thisis not what she said.
no, This is when you read it.
Okay.
Chris (04:39):
Yeah, this is my actual, I'm setting the scene, if you
will.
okay.
storytelling.
God.
It's an important part of whatwe do.
it says, Hi, the storytelling.
It says, hi, I was in thekitchen and I was having a bit
of a nervous breakdown becauseit has been a rough week at
work.
It's been a week at work where Ifelt like I've been kicking
puppies all day long by the timeI get done.
Yeah, it's been pretty brutal.
(05:00):
So the fan mail says, I loveyour podcast and I think it's
awesome what you ladies aredoing.
I may not send fan mail, but Ilistened to your show weekly.
I have major FOPO and I don'ttalk about it to many people,
about my hippy dippy shit.
Sarah, I'm so proud of you forstepping out of your comfort
zone.
It's inspiring.
it's time people start having,funny and serious conversations
(05:23):
about mental health and insteadof the fear and embarrassment
about it.
Keep doing what you're doing.
Peace, love, and happiness.
This nice lady signed it,Melanie.
God bless ya.
and then she says, I re read,this over and debated on sending
it for fear of sounding stupid.
Yeah.
And
I think that, A, it delighted me.
It pulled me out of my, itpulled me out of the moment that
(05:45):
I was in.
While I was in the kitchenfeeling bad for myself, and it
gave me the ability to recognizethat, yeah, this is just a, it's
just a moment and this is gonnabe completely different in 30
minutes if I let it becompletely different in 30
minutes, Melanie, you are agenius.
I really appreciate your timingand thank you so much for having
that 15 seconds of courage andhitting the send button.
(06:08):
Thanks.
We appreciate
Sarah (2) (06:09):
it.
Thanks, Mel.
We love you.
And I can see her.
She's another one that I can seeher on her phone sending it.
And deciding not to send it andthen sending it and then hitting
send and her face gets beet redas soon as she hits send.
I know it.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
100%.
that is awesome.
Okay, so on April 4th, 2024, wereleased our first episode of
(06:30):
The Mental Funny Bone.
Yay! So it's coming up on a yearand we decided that we want to
celebrate.
And so we are going to go to thecraft house stage and grill.
It's in the South hills.
you can look it up.
I am not going to give you theaddress right now.
Everything's on Facebook, yada,yada.
I will be there at five o'clock.
Not sure when anybody else willbe there, but I will be there at
(06:53):
five.
There is a band that night.
The band is old school, whoplease take a moment to look
them up.
They're from Cleveland, and Ican't imagine a better band to
be playing the night that we'regonna be out celebrating,
because I looked at their songlist, and it's fucking
phenomenal.
Phenomenal.
It is all old school shit,ranging from, I can't even
(07:16):
think.
First of all, Vanilla Ice, Nice.
Yes, of course.
So it's mud downed, like hiphopshit.
And it's CNC music factory.
The whoever sings the rumpshaker.
Yeah.
All sorts of shit.
It's it enforcer.
I'm pretty
Chris (07:29):
sure it's
Sarah (2) (07:30):
there.
Chris (07:30):
Yeah, that's it.
That's a jam.
Enforcer.
informer.
Yeah.
No, not enforcer.
Sarah (2) (07:35):
Maybe it is enforcer.
Enforcer.
No it isn't.
No it isn't.
Lick your boom.
Boom.
No.
What?
Lick your boom.
Boom.
I don't think those are thewords.
Are you missing Missy Elliot,though?
It's your feminine friend, yeah?
Okay, anyway.
Okay, yeah.
we are going to celebrate April4th at Craft House Stage and
Grill.
I will be there at 5 o'clock.
Cover starts at 6.
if you want to avoid that cover,come on a little bit earlier.
(07:57):
Yeah, come early.
Chris (07:58):
that's that.
Love it.
I'm super excited about that.
And just a quick funny asidebefore we talk about, the Gaster
story of the week.
Yes, enforcer.
I'm going to start calling youthe enforcer.
I choose violence.
Oh, I forgot to tell David thatwe were having that party.
I told your mom and dad we werehaving that party and they were
(08:19):
like, Oh, I don't know if youguys could hear Sarah drinking,
but she's drinking out of one ofour, one of our limited edition
mental funny bone water bottles.
Because now that we're
Sarah (2) (08:30):
nearly famous made by a friend of mine, if you need a
good glitter cup, I know a girl,go ahead, a girl.
Chris (08:36):
so I forgot to mention it to David and, he called me this
morning and he's You didn't tellme you were having a party.
I was like, I barely knew Ibarely registered it.
I'm pretty sure I told you Itried to do that.
I'm pretty sure I told youbecause he, he's got a bad
memory and sometimes I can getaway with it.
And he was like, no, you didn't.
Nope, and I was like, you'reright.
I probably didn't.
I'm sorry.
(08:57):
but David will be there.
So yeah, I'm pretty sure Noahwill be there Are your parents
planning on coming?
What's the if somebody bringsthem then they get it They gotta
leave early cuz we're gonna needto be home and in bed
Sarah (2) (09:09):
I was thinking that I can coax them into coming up
here and they can head down withme and Noah.
I'm probably going to have todrive them.
I don't know, whatever.
But my birthday is the followingday, so they can just come home
with me so they'll be here tocelebrate my birthday because
it's easier to hand me a checkwhen they're here instead of
like, sending the card in themail.
That seems silly.
(09:29):
Right.
Chris (09:30):
Why bother?
Why bother with that?
Shall we move on to the Gaster'sstory of the week?
Speaking of the Gaster's.
Absolutely.
Sarah (2) (09:36):
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
Chris (09:38):
I was reaching far back in the annals of the Gasters.
In the what?
Annals.
Annals?
history, lore, legend, thecollection of stories.
Annals.
I know what you thought.
You know what I thought.
I hate to ruin the mystery orthe magic, but sometimes I put
things in just to see whatyou'll say.
Sarah (2) (09:59):
Reaching into the annals.
That's what I
heard.
Continue.
Chris (10:03):
This is why people can't listen with their grandma.
Anyway, I was, I was throwing itback and I was thinking about
the time our dad wanted to starta Subway franchise
and
then I was thinking about the time our dad had his own,
framing business.
and then I was thinking aboutthe time our dad got really into
basket weaving when our momowned the craft store.
Sarah (2) (10:27):
Yeah,
Chris (10:27):
so I was going through a series of these thoughts and I'm
like which one of these is goodto talk About and not I'm like,
you know what?
Why don't we just lump these alltogether and talk about the
inherited nature of attentiondeficit hyperactivity disorder?
Sarah (2) (10:41):
Yeah,
Chris (10:42):
so that we could We can tie it all together into mental
health and mental wellness.
So I started thinking aboutstories about your dad as a
child And how he would sit thereand wanna play games with
people, but all he would do ismake noises.
Burp, burp,
Sarah (2) (10:58):
burp, burp.
Which has been passed down to meand Ellen.
nin.
Yeah, I don't do it, I don'tknow
Chris (11:03):
why.
I have a different,neurodivergence.
Sarah (2) (11:07):
Yeah, we're just noise makers.
Chris (11:09):
It's fun.
It's fun.
Yeah.
So then I was thinking about,Tying all of these things into,
into your dad's routine changingof obsessions.
And I think we could actually gothrough a timeline of things
that your dad was obsessed with.
Yeah.
my favorite being the logcabins.
Do you remember?
(11:30):
You might've been too little,but.
No, we were going to build a logcabin, right?
Sarah (2) (11:34):
You're not
Chris (11:34):
talking Lincoln logs.
You're talking.
no.
I'm not talking, hey, let's golook at.
Not talking dance lessons.
It would be like a varied lengthof time, but never so short that
we wouldn't remember it andnever so long that anything got
done.
Sarah (2) (11:51):
I remember, did he have, I, I related it to or the
equivalent of mommy having, asewing pattern.
And I feel like daddy had logcabin patterns.
Yes.
Of some sort.
Yes.
Of course, I guess it wasn't,now I'm thinking about it, it
was more like a, yeah, you knowwhat I talk about.
You know what I talk about.
(12:12):
I hear ya.
I hear ya.
he had like books and shit.
Chris (12:17):
and we would, so for those of you who might be a
little bit newer, when Sarah andI were younger, one of our
parents favorite pastimes to dowith us to keep us busy and
quiet and not destroying thingsand not sitting around watching
a bunch of TV was to throw us inthe car and just drive us
around.
And this was
Sarah (2) (12:34):
one of the, we've been out a few times looking at
log cabins.
Chris (12:37):
And I am talking, it was like, kids, get in the car.
And I was 16, 17, and we werestill doing this, kids, get in
the car.
we're going for a drive.
And we would.
We would drive out, we woulddrive up to, what's the place in
the mountains around here?
Ohio Pal?
Sarah (2) (12:52):
Laurel, the Caverns.
Yeah.
I was going to say LaurelTaverns, but yeah.
That's
Chris (12:57):
also a place I think, but not one we would go to on a
Sunday drive.
and we would drive around thereand I remember your mom and dad
looking at places and sayingthis would be a perfect spot to
build a log cabin.
And so the lengths of your dadhaving those plans in our home,
spread out over the dining roomtable, and looking at them and
(13:21):
plotting out where the roomswould be, what kind of logs we
would use, where we would getthe logs.
I think the, there was somebodywho had like a tree that fell
down and your dad went and gotit.
Cause we would use it for ourlog cabin at some point, like
just a random tree.
You picked it up in Smok, maybe.
(13:41):
I got to go on that ride.
That was fun.
You didn't get to go, you werelittle.
Yeah.
But, think about that.
Think about how you got thingsback before there was an
internet.
Your dad had to go someplace Youcouldn't just do a Google search
for who can give me plants for alog cabin.
Sarah (2) (14:00):
You had to find phone numbers, you had to call people,
you had to go places.
How do you even, how do youeven?
I would have, I would have nevergotten anything done.
Chris (14:07):
I don't even like calling
Sarah (2) (14:09):
for fucking pizza.
Chris (14:10):
I'm like, can I just order it online?
if not, maybe I'll go to adifferent pizza place.
Exactly.
Sarah (2) (14:14):
If I can't order it online, I'm not.
Oh I don't give a fuck, I'll gosomewhere else.
Chris (14:20):
This is like the level of commitment he had made to this
log cabin that he was willing toresearch, I don't even know
where you, would you go to thelibrary and what kind of book
are you looking that up at?
Sarah (2) (14:30):
Yeah, I haven't a clue, haven't a clue.
Chris (14:34):
Yeah, I'm just assuming that you would be able to, I
don't know, I have no idea, Iwould be lost.
Even if dropped in 1987, I wouldbe lost, I wouldn't be able to
do a thing.
But yeah, to the extent of thisobsession and it was like that
for a period of time.
And I want to say it wassomething like two years.
Sarah (2) (14:52):
Yeah.
I don't, I have no
Chris (14:53):
concept of time.
And then nothing.
And then nothing.
And then abruptly it was, we'redone with that.
We've moved on.
Now we're obsessed with buildingmuzzle loaders.
I was just going to say guns.
So we're on the same timeline.
Sarah (2) (15:10):
We
Chris (15:10):
remember.
Okay.
Where it, and it, it wasn'tlike, Oh, let's just put that on
the back burner for a veryimportant and significant
reason.
It was, I don't even want totalk about it anymore.
You know what I want to talkabout?
Muzzle loaders.
here's my 15 books on muzzleloading and here are my bars of
lead that I'm gonna have to meltdown in the garage around my
(15:31):
children who are young.
Let me make some molten lead inthe garage and let them touch it
all over.
Think about how much smarter wewould be if we didn't get
exposed to burning lead when wewere little.
I'm not going to give us thatmuch credit.
I'm going to claim it.
I'm good.
I feel like I was probablyexposed more than you were then.
You were smaller.
You were still a tinier brain.
(15:52):
More moldable and shapeable, butthat way that was like the kind
of closed door of it.
And as I was going through likethe attention deficit symptoms
and all of the checklistsThey're like, do you have a lot
of hobbies that you are veryinto obsessively into for
specific durations and then whenyou are done with those hobbies
(16:14):
you never Touch that hobbyagain, and I'm looking over here
in my house because there's acloset of dead hobbies.
There is a closet of giant,giant yarn
that I was going
to, that I was going to crochet with my hands.
There's a, also in there areseveral boxes of knitting
(16:34):
needles, even though I'd likedabble again, but the level of
obsession
that
the ADD brain will latch onto something to the exclusion
of everything else.
Makes me laugh more thananything else about, about ADD.
I can't remember to take mymedicine every day, but I will
obsessively sit down, write acrochet pattern from a book into
(16:56):
my electronic tablet so that Ican have it with me.
All the time.
During the day.
that is the, but I don't knowwhere my car keys are right now.
Sarah (2) (17:06):
No idea.
Priorities.
It's priorities.
Yeah, I did the glitter cups.
I've had a thousand obsessions,but one of the latest was the
glitter cups a few years ago.
I guess it was like five yearsago, but when I decided I was
done with that shit and theamount of fucking money I put
into that shit, I packed it allup.
And my friend, Erin, who makesthe cups now, she came over and
got it and was like, how muchmoney do you want?
(17:27):
I was like, I don't want any.
I want you to get it out of mysight.
That's what I want you to do.
I
Chris (17:32):
don't want it.
It will forever live in this oldcraft graveyard.
Yep.
Sarah (2) (17:36):
I want nothing to do with it.
Nothing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
then, Daddy, and I think some ofhis hobbies came from when he
was laid off.
the next one I remember, I thinkit's the basket weaving when
Mommy had the shop.
Think and then meat cutting
Chris (17:50):
meat
Sarah (2) (17:50):
cutting.
Chris (17:51):
I think meat cutting preceded.
No.
No, I think you're right I thinkyeah basket weaving it used to
be like it used to be a joke,right?
if you were like a dumb athlete,that's what you would major in
college.
what's he majoring?
No basket weaving, bro Yeah Butthere was a there was an actual
kit that you could buy at thecraft corner in Elizabeth back
(18:11):
in the day That was wood andthen you would get a bucket and
you would stoke the wood in thebucket and it was hard to
Sarah (2) (18:19):
it Wasn't very easy,
Chris (18:20):
right?
And it like it would make yourhands feel all weird Yeah, like
when we're talking about crafts,I mean in the world of crafts I
think I'm gonna go with theSharon Schnitta Over the basket
weaving any day
Sarah (2) (18:32):
any day.
He made some like really dad.
He's a creative dude So that'swhere all this comes from, but
he made some pretty cool ass ofbaskets Were, because I think
that's, he'd order the catalogsand go through and order the
different kits, and then I gottatest it out.
I feel like he would save likeextra shit and then build
something outta that.
ah, yes.
Yeah.
Chris (18:51):
Yeah.
and I think that this is one ofthe, one of the ways that I'm
not mad, about the way that mybrain is, I love the fact that I
can get so into something.
You might remember, my obsessionwith CrossFit at one point.
Sarah (2) (19:05):
yeah, you couldn't, I think I tried to divorce you as
my sister.
I don't know exactly how, Itried to emancipate myself.
I don't know.
You're like, please.
I tried to null and void ourrelationship over CrossFit.
My favorite thing aboutCrossFit, though, is that mommy
and daddy started making fun ofyou.
I was like, you guys,
Chris (19:24):
guess what happened?
Guess what happened?
You guys, I lifted the weights,and then I did a snatch and
then, and then, somebody, I haveto go, I can't do anything with
you guys this weekend becausethere is a guy, like a special
guy, an important guy, and he'scoming in from Ohio and he's
going to teach us how to do theclean and jerk.
Yeah.
I gotta be at the box.
Sarah (2) (19:44):
Yeah, it was a lot.
It was fine.
I wasn't.
Don't get me wrong.
I'm all about CrossFit.
That's awesome.
I'm not talking shit on that.
I am talking about the factthat.
You literally, every fiveseconds, CrossFit, something
CrossFit.
I would call you crying aboutsomething.
You'd be like, but listen.
Guess what I did?
Let me tell you about CrossFit.
And it would actually make mefeel better, because then I'd
just feel bad for you.
Chris (20:04):
thank God I don't have to do that.
every friend that I had was fromCrossFit.
Every person that I interactedwith was from CrossFit.
like my whole day was.
It's centered around when I wasgoing to do CrossFit.
Yeah.
I'm like, oh, you know what?
There's times where I can't makeit to the box.
So I'm going to buy myself awhole getup I can put
Sarah (2) (20:22):
in my garage.
You had a whole setup in thegarage?
there's worse things that youcould be obsessed with.
like heroin.
Yeah.
I don't know.
it would be less annoying.
I don't know.
Chris (20:30):
I wouldn't be as annoyed.
If I was doing meth, you wouldhave been like God, at least
she's quiet.
Sarah (2) (20:37):
Yeah, at least she's quieter
Chris (20:39):
now than when she was doing goddamn CrossFit.
CrossFit.
so yeah, that is the, that isone of the things that I enjoy
about, inherited neurodivergenceis that it gave me the ability
to focus on that, that onething.
And, yeah, it was fun while Iwanted to do it and then I
didn't want to do it.
And I never talked about itagain.
Never.
literally one day I was like, Idon't have time to go today.
(21:01):
And then I never went again.
Sarah (2) (21:03):
And then he went to Japan, was it Japan?
Right after that.
And then that was the next, likeyou talked about Japan
constantly and that guy.
I don't know why our daddy waslike, so Japan's the new
CrossFit.
Chris (21:15):
Yes.
That is exactly what happened.
I was like, oh my God, you guys,when I was in Japan.
Sarah (2) (21:20):
Yeah.
And that's what I, that's what Irelate, CrossFit and Japan.
Chris (21:23):
Oh, goodness gracious.
so there you go.
Jumbo, thank you so much fordelivering the spicy brain.
Yeah.
And making me the obsessive, yetfunny and for a very fixed and
short period of time person thatI
Sarah (2) (21:36):
am.
Yeah.
I dig it.
I dig it.
We mentioned he did the meatcutting.
I can't remember what else hedid.
The picture frame shit wasprobably the longest and one of
the only things he really mademoney on.
And he was really good at it.
I feel like I, we have to callthat out.
Like he was really good at it.
Not just like throwing a mat onsomething like he did intricate
designs and shit on the mats.
(21:57):
It was.
That was a fun one to watch.
And then when he retired, hebecame a picker.
He was a, first, first he was aday trader.
Oh, yeah, I remember he was daytrading and then he did the
laundry up for a day and then hewent back to day trading.
Because that was right when theinternet started.
Chris (22:13):
He was like, oh my god.
Have you seen this page calledthe Motley Fool?
Sarah (2) (22:18):
Yeah.
Yeah, that was his crossfit.
He retired, how old was he whenhe retired?
55.
Yeah, that's absurd.
Think about that.
I'm 52.
Yeah, no, I will, I'll beworking when I'm his age right
now, which is 78.
We keep buying these fuckinghouses.
Damn it.
We'll never not have a mortgage.
(22:39):
Bad choices.
Bad choices.
Chris (22:40):
We're gonna put up a link to buy t shirts from us.
Yeah.
Yeah, we
Sarah (2) (22:44):
need help.
Yeah.
One of these days we'll sell tshirts.
Chris (22:48):
Anyway, why don't you, why don't you get us into the
new book?
Cause I'm excited to talk aboutit.
Cause I feel like it ties instuff that we just read with
stuff that we've read like earlyon.
Yeah.
Mid
Sarah (2) (23:02):
range stuff.
Yeah, 100%.
so anybody who doesn't know Ournew book is the book by Mel
Robbins, the, Let Them Theory.
So it's pretty popular thesedays.
I'm going to talk today aboutthe introduction of the book, in
the first section of the book,which is called the Let Them
Theory.
Crazy.
(23:23):
And chapter one, which is stopwasting your life on things you
can't control, which how manytimes have we heard this, it's
never enough.
Continue to do it.
Cause I still can't do itanyway.
Chapter two, getting started thelet them plus let me.
So I really like, like that oneand I have a shit ton of notes,
so I'll do my best to not justread word for word and include
(23:46):
everything.
The first thing I want to talkabout though, is Mel Robbins and
her story.
Because there's a part of methat walks away from the
introduction saying, I can stilldo this.
I can still fucking besomething.
I can still be amazing.
I can change everything.
(24:08):
Because speaking of, and I feellike the gaster story of the
week goes with it.
Because she was a lot like Ifeel I was, jumping around from
jobs.
she was an attorney, so that's alittle different, but jumping
around from jobs and like tryingdifferent things all the time
and just could never figure outwhat she wanted to be when she
grew up.
And I was like, yeah, it's me.
(24:29):
That's me.
and at the age of 41.
she found herself and her familyin a shit ton of debt, like 800
grand worth of debt and, no job.
So I was like, besides the jobthing, and I don't have that
much of debt.
I was like, wow, that's, thatall sounds really familiar.
Chris (24:47):
That feels, yeah, it feels like every key
intersection in your life.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sarah (2) (24:53):
Yeah.
we've done great work on thedebt.
Like we've, we're doing awesomethings there.
We've done awesome things.
but the whole just job hopping,trying to figure out what I want
to be when I grow up.
all of that shit and I've come along way in that in just a year,
but that all hit it, hit achord, struck a chord.
And so she got to a place whereshe was stuck and I was like,
Oh, I hear ya.
(25:13):
And she said something in thebook that I was like, yep.
That makes sense too.
She said the funny thing aboutbeing stuck is that you know
exactly what you need to do.
you're not really stuck, becauseyou know exactly what you need
to do to fix it.
You need to get your ass out ofbed, you need to pay your
fucking bills, you need to finda job.
these are all things that youknow that you can do.
And I was like, true,interesting.
(25:35):
this is her first genius, isthat she came up with the 5
second rule for herself.
And she decided that she wasgoing to stop fucking around,
and when she felt like puttingsomething off, she was just
going to count down from 5, andthen you have to do it.
So instead of hitting snooze,The alarm goes off, 5, you get
out of bed, you got to do whatyou got to do.
And she, this really helps, shegot on a track, she got a job,
(25:59):
like things were going muchbetter.
here's where I'm like, you, whatthe fuck?
Damn it.
She's invited, and the way, Ilove the way she tells the story
though.
She's I was invited to do aspeech about changing jobs or
changing careers or some shitlike that, like just a speech,
whatever.
She talks about how she goesout, has a complete panic attack
for 21 solid minutes while she'sgiving this speech, loses
(26:21):
everything she was going to say,and blurts out the five second
rule.
Great, she has a panic attack onstage.
Yeah, she has a panic attack.
She can't think of anything elseto say, so she's here's what I
do.
And she's been doing this fortwo years and thought never to
share it with anybody.
And she blurts out the fivesecond rule and then gets off
stage and she's thank God thatis over.
(26:42):
Fuck.
That was the worst experience ofmy whole entire life.
Turns out she wasn't just doinga speech.
It was one of the first TEDTalks.
It was a very early TED Talk,right?
Like you just got invited.
that's just like someone, likeyour buddy just asked you, hey,
I want to give you a speech.
Anyway, so this, it took offfrom there, which is awesome.
And I think it's a great rule.
(27:03):
That was our first book, The 5Second Rule.
I have been trying to employ itin my life, this week, just
simply by not hitting the snoozebutton.
So I'm happy to report that,Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday
this week, I 1'd my ass out ofbed.
However, on Sunday, I was soworried about it and anxious
about it that I literally wokeup 18, 000 times throughout the
(27:27):
night.
Like I do when I'm anxious aboutflying, like I can't sleep.
that's all I could think aboutin my sleepy brain was 5, 4, And
I would wake up and I'd be like,5, no, I don't have to do it
yet.
I don't have to do it yet.
Oh
Chris (27:40):
my
Sarah (2) (27:40):
God.
That's hilarious.
Chris (27:42):
So have you been 5, ing?
No, because it turns out there'sa chaos gremlin that lives in my
head that's like you're smarterthan 5 4 3 2 1 and That
intelligent, chaos gremlin islike, it would be really good
for you to get out of bed rightnow.
You could get your day started.
You could do some stuff.
But 5,
Sarah (2) (28:04):
Fuck you.
It's not, and I think she saysit in there and it's something
that we say all the time.
It's not easy.
it's simple.
Sounds super simple.
But it's not easy.
you have to push yourself to doit.
And it's all about, again,Getting into small little
consistent habits and you'reusing the 5 4 3 2 1 to do those
habits instead of being like,oh, yeah I have one of him make
this habit of working out, but Idon't feel 5 4 3 2 1 go do it
(28:27):
and the one thing I wrote downhere is that she noted that
along the way She heard a lot offeedback about the five second
rule And one of the things thatthey found is that it was
actually used by over a thousandpeople to stop themselves from
attempting suicide.
Love it.
Chris (28:43):
It's so brilliant.
this one was really like,reading this really brought
together like two separatethings that we'd been, that we'd
been talking about.
It brought together those atomichabits, those things that you
can link to make stuff happen.
taking my medicine in themorning when I drink my coffee,
like that works.
Being able to get up out of bedfor me is about scheduling the
day.
(29:03):
Like I have to get up at 6.
30 because I have shit to do at7.
Yeah, like that is gonna get meout of bed way more than 1 you
have shit to do at 7 It's onyour calendar It's like those
are the things that get me to dothese things and the chaos
gremlin in my head can't argueWith a calendar invite like he
just yeah, he's not successful.
(29:24):
I found another thing but let mefit The 5 4 3 2 1 is also about
moments, right?
Like when we're thinking aboutthe meditation, where we're
thinking about being mindful,the trick is to give yourself
the five seconds to say, Hey,just make the good decision,
right?
Five, four, don't let anythingelse in your brain kind of short
(29:45):
circuit you.
And the same thing with keepingprevent, the opposite end of the
spectrum with preventing,preventing you from making a
very bad decision.
give yourself the heartbeat tothe.
to think about what your nextmove is.
That's the mindful piece of it.
You don't have to, you don't, 5,4, don't like 2, 1, put that
down and walk away.
1, go do something productiveand, beneficial.
(30:09):
Give yourself like that time.
I just found it reallyinteresting that those two
things can connect in, in
Sarah (2) (30:15):
the next book that we're reading.
yeah, it seems to have workedout perfectly.
And this one was a last minuteswitch.
We were going to do a differentone,
which we will eventually,
but what's that?
They listened last week.
They know we were going to do adifferent book.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
They're used to it.
Yeah, we probably did mentionthat we were going to do a
different one, but yeah, weswitched it up.
We switched it up.
the other thing that shementioned in the introduction is
(30:40):
another one that involves five,which I liked.
I like patterns of things.
but anyway.
giving yourself a high five inthe mirror.
I was like, what?
What?
What?
So I forget exactly what she wastalking about, but she said.
That it's one of the fastestways to rewire your mindset for
self confidence is to giveyourself a high five in the
mirror.
I haven't tried it, but I feellike I need to give myself a
(31:02):
high five way more.
I think every time I go in thebathroom, I should high five
myself.
And it makes me giggle and Ican't see myself doing it.
But then again, I couldn't seemyself meditating.
Meditating.
Chris (31:13):
there again, the chaos gremlin in the back of my mind,
the sarcastic one who's yeah, Iwould, why would you ever want
to meditate?
It seems stupid.
the one who's five, four, three,two, one, fuck off, the same one
is like, how is this going tohelp?
Like the chaos gremlin that'salways looking for that
scientific reason, like atomichabits make sense because I can
draw the connections and I can,so I do think there's
Sarah (2) (31:36):
scientific shit behind both of these.
I
Chris (31:39):
do too.
But.
If it's not,
Sarah (2) (31:41):
we didn't really dig into it, but that's also
something that she started doinglater and then was like, wow,
there's, wow, why does thiswork?
Let me find out why this works.
So she digs into that shit.
So that's the intro.
That's how Mel Robbins has gonefrom the age of 41 being in a
shit ton of debt to what is she?
(32:02):
50 something now and beinggazillionaire.
Brilliant.
Making a huge difference in somany lives, especially now that
she's gaining popularity andwith the book and her podcast
and all of that, she's fuckingkilling it.
I really liked that.
I liked it.
It's never too late.
We can do it.
We can kill it.
(32:22):
We can help people.
We can do shit.
We can do good shit.
So chapter one is stop wastingyour life on things you can't
control.
So what did we learn that wecan't control?
Other people's opinions.
Yay! ding, you get a gold star.
Yay! yay! So it's, it talksabout how again, the problem
isn't you.
(32:42):
The problem is the Power thatyou give other people and their
opinions over you.
And most of us do this in anunknowingly manner, which we've
talked about already.
And the let them theory reallyis about freeing yourself from
trying to manage other people.
And how they control themselvesaround you and how they form
(33:05):
their opinions about you.
So it's really all about thefreedom aspect of things.
They're freeing you from theseburdens of trying to control
other things and other people.
And the major thing about thisis when you think about it, it's
not like It's not like peoplejust, they don't have power over
you unless you give them thatpower.
(33:27):
you're giving them that powerconstantly, and that's something
that before we started doing allof this, I never even realized
it.
And it all makes so much
Chris (33:36):
sense.
It's when we start talking aboutgiving other people power over
us, it's that goes right back toother people's opinions and
being, in, in being afraid to dothings because what if, what if.
So it ties so perfectly intothat, and it ties into, oddly, a
movie we've talked about on herebefore.
(33:56):
you remember Labyrinth withDavid Bowie?
Yeah, he had a potato in hispants.
He did.
It was Olivia's first crush.
Yeah, he came from the ballet.
He leaped right off the balletstage right into my home.
Yeah.
But there's a line in therewhere she's through dangers
untold and hardships unnumbered,blah, blah, blah.
(34:16):
I've made my way here and thesecret to her being able to
like, do the brave and scarything that, that she has to do
in this epic fantasy movie is,she says, you have no power over
me.
And like everything, everythinggoes back to the way that it
should be.
Everything changes.
And I, I think that's just thereason that line sticks with so
(34:37):
many people is because weconstantly give other people the
power, right?
We constantly do that.
Sarah (2) (34:44):
I think it's just a human nature kind of thing.
It's just, that's what we'rehardwired to do.
Where the
Chris (34:51):
science comes in.
Sarah (2) (34:52):
Yeah.
Chris (34:53):
Yeah,
Sarah (2) (34:53):
for sure.
Chris (34:54):
The science comes in and tells us, the reason we try to
do that is because that's how weget along, right?
That's how we make a tribe.
That's how we, that's how wemake sure that, that we're part
of the group.
Sometimes that serves us andsometimes it doesn't.
Like we talked about all throughthe FOPO book.
Sarah (2) (35:12):
Yeah.
Chris (35:13):
It's nice when the, when those inclinations are to do
good things for other people whoare in your tribe, being able to
share and extend.
But you have to.
You have to take care ofyourself first, and when you're
constantly paralyzed for fear ofdoing something wrong and fear
of getting rejected, then it'sreally hard.
So yeah, I love it when it allcomes together.
(35:34):
Hannibal on the A team.
I thought you meant HannibalLecter.
Yeah,
Sarah (2) (35:38):
I do
Chris (35:38):
a Chianti.
Sarah (2) (35:39):
Wow, that's interesting.
Chris (35:41):
No,
Sarah (2) (35:41):
the A team.
Chris (35:42):
I love it when a plan comes together.
Sarah (2) (35:45):
I thought the prom story was pretty cool, like
where it all came from,especially having a 15 year old
and knowing how he functions,and it's maddening, absolutely
maddening.
So the short cliff notes ofwhere the let them theory came
from is that Mel Robbins has, Ithink, three kids, two daughters
and a son.
The son's the youngest.
She went through proms with thedaughters, and daughters,
(36:06):
they're, they planned formonths.
And everything was taken careof.
Her son decided to go to theprom like the week earlier, and
he didn't even have a date.
this is all yeah, last minute,so she is getting all this shit
ready, blah, blah, blah, blah,blah.
they go to take pictures.
It starts to downpour.
So this is just another man,nobody here has an umbrella.
Nobody's planning for this.
(36:26):
Then they start talking aboutwhere they're going to go to
dinner.
And she was like, you guys don'tknow where you're going to
dinner?
you don't have reservations.
You don't have plans.
And her son was like, no, mom,just leave it alone.
Just leave it alone.
Like he was already mad becausehe told her not to bring the
corsage and she did that.
It's just, yeah.
she gets on her phone, just likeother moms, and they're all,
looking for a place that'llaccept a reservation for 20 or
(36:48):
whatever they had.
And she can't find anything.
And she's trying to like, whydon't you do that?
And he's Mom, just leave it, no,leave me alone.
Leave me alone.
Leave me alone.
And finally, her daughterinterjected and was like, Mom,
let them.
She was like, what are youtalking about?
I can't just let them.
They want to go to McDonald's.
I can't just, it's their, Ican't let them.
She's if that's what they wantto do, let them.
(37:11):
And then they have to go out inthe rain to go run to the car
and she's Oh, his new shoes.
Look at her dress.
And they need, we need to findUmbrella and the daughter's just
let them, if that's what theywant, let them.
And that's where it all started.
It's I
Chris (37:26):
love this story so much because it is about the, I wish
you guys could see the face I'mmaking, but like the iron grip
that we feel like we have tohave on everything before we
feel good.
And the fact that.
Oh my gosh, I am a quote machinetoday, but yeah, if you will
recall Tom Cruise in Days ofThunder.
Yeah, I won't recall because Inever watched Days of Thunder.
(37:49):
What?
But you're missing out.
You're missing out.
Oh, and I'm wrong.
It's not Tom Cruise.
It is Nicole Kidman.
When speaking with Tom Cruise'scharacter, Cole Trickle, and she
says in her adorable Australianaccent, Cole, control is an
illusion.
And I was like, I'll be darned,how am I getting a philosophical
nugget like this from fuckingDays of Thunder?
Sarah (2) (38:13):
Yeah, it's true.
Chris (38:15):
Control is an illusion.
It's definitely
Sarah (2) (38:17):
true.
But that's what it's all about.
And that's why I think of thingslike, I can, Owen, okay, so what
are you guys doing?
I don't know.
Who's picking you up?
I'm not sure.
are you going to the soccergame?
Yeah, I think.
who's taking you?
Cause I can't.
I think Scott.
Will you think Scott?
Or do you know Scott?
Yeah, I think Scott.
Okay, but do you know Scott?
what is your plan?
(38:37):
What time is he picking you up?
I don't know.
I'm going to guess, game startsat 7, so pick me up at 645
maybe.
What's maybe?
Why?
Why can't, can you not just giveme the specifics of what is
going on?
And this is where I was like,wow, this is so very relatable.
And I love the fact that this iswhere it started was just a very
super relatable thing that allof us parents go through in
(39:00):
trying to have that controlwhen.
It's not necessary all the time,we'll get to that caveat, but
these are things that we justhave to let go and she found
that, putting this little nuggetinto play, moving along, that
she was like, Oh, wow, this isreally, this is something else
and people around her husbandwas like, you seem a lot
(39:21):
happier, like few weeks afterthis, cause she was just letting
it go, letting that control goand trying to, the concept is
pouring.
Your energy more into what youcan't control, which again,
we've talked about is you andhow you react and How you're
curious about things instead ofautomatically shutting the door
(39:41):
on things It's all about how youdecide to deal with the things
that come at you so next part ofthis we'll get into chapter two,
but The major thing here is thelet them is just the one part
and it seems super simple whichlike everything else
Chris (39:59):
Yeah, like everything else.
There's that right that balance,right?
there are situations where youcan't be like let them yeah When
Olivia was one and we had herlittle birthday cake and that
she was trying to grab thecandle and David's you know Let
her she'll just say it'll burnher hand.
She'll learn I was like thatseems like no extreme idea maybe
we back Pull that back a littlebit.
Seems like I could help her
Sarah (2) (40:20):
out with that.
Chris (40:21):
Maybe I tell her no a couple times and then she'll try
it when I'm not looking.
And then she'll learn.
But yes, it seems hard.
No, it seems easy.
let them.
Oh, this will be the easiestone.
Done.
I don't even need to read thebook.
But it is, again, you get it.
There's so much more
Sarah (2) (40:35):
to it.
this is just laying out thebeginning of it and where it
comes from.
But the next part of it is letme.
So if you're just stopping atthe let them.
You're not gonna get out of thisanything and you're probably
gonna find yourself prettylonely in everything that you
do.
have to counter it with a letme.
we go into Chapter two, which iscalled getting started and it's
(40:56):
let them plus let me.
she tells a social media storyabout how she gets on to
Facebook, whatever, and she seesa group of friends went on a
girl's trip and she was like,oh, that's so nice.
And then realized, yeah, Iwasn't included.
Yeah.
So she's on the social media andshe sees her friends went on a,
a, girl's trip and she wasn'tincluded.
(41:18):
So immediately her brain goesto, what did I do?
Did I do something?
Are they mad at me?
what do I need to do?
Another long story short, itcomes back to, she was worrying
about these things and puttingthings into other people's
brains and it wasn't even truestuff, right?
This was funny because ROT.
there was something on Facebookand I was like, Oh, I wasn't
(41:39):
invited.
But yeah.
Wow.
And so not like to that extent,but same situation because as
she's thinking about it, she waslike, wait a second.
What was the last time I reachedout to these people?
What was the last time we reallyhung out?
Like these are women that wespent a lot of time together
when our kids were younger, butsince then work has taken over.
I haven't had time.
(42:00):
That's not it.
And to them, it's not, it wasn'tpersonal.
They didn't think, Hey, you knowwhat we'll do?
We won't invite Mel.
It wasn't personal.
That's not what it was about.
And that kind of, so it comesback to that.
You just have to look at thatand say, okay, That's the let me
part of it, okay, so I can sithere and say, let them do
whatever, let them do whatever,let them do whatever, and be
(42:23):
pissy about it, but then youhave to come back and say, wait
a second, and reeval, reevaluatewhat you're gonna do, and then
this is the point where you'relike, oh, check myself, I
haven't done anything remotelyclose to being their friend.
So what am I going to do aboutit?
Do I feel bad enough that I'mgoing to reach out to them and
try to make the, is that howit's going to go?
Or am I just going to walk awayand it's fine.
(42:44):
But that's, I don't know how, Idon't think I'm explaining it
well enough, but the let me partof it is taking control, you
taking control of what you cando.
Chris (42:54):
It comes back and this is why I was geeked to, to read
this book and read the intro andin this first part.
Because, again, if you thinkabout, one of the main messages
of the subtle art of not givinga fuck was about responsibility.
Like, I can be butthurt becausesomebody excluded me from
(43:16):
something on Facebook.
Or, I can look at that and belike, good for you, off, off you
go.
If I want to go on girls tripswith friends, what do I need to
do to make that happen?
obviously, it's not going to bewith those girls, so I can
either be like, Alright, fairdues, I'll say hey to you when I
see ya out, but what do I needto do to make it so I can go?
(43:37):
how can I, take control of that?
How can I take responsibilityfor making my life what I want
my life to be?
And then take steps to do that.
Join a book club, learn how toknit, reach out to people that
you haven't talked to, and makethe assumption that it.
The reason that this ishappening is something that,
that, that isn't a direct resultof people out to get me, but is
(44:02):
a direct result of things that,that I can then identify and
take control of.
Exactly.
Sarah (2) (44:08):
And you can have the proper reaction to instead of
just being pissed off andletting it eat away at you.
And that's what.
That was a big thing that, ifshe wasn't able to do this, she
knows that she would havefestered on this for days, which
is exactly what I would do.
Right.
And what was funny about this is the thing on
Facebook that I saw, I was like,Oh yeah, man.
(44:29):
And then I was like, wait asecond.
When was the last time youtalked to these girls?
Oh, for a year.
Why would I be invited?
And there's it was just, it wasso dumb.
So dumb.
But I love talking about thisand the things that we've
already read, a thing that shepointed out here is that the
theory isn't, it's not justhacking your mindset.
It's rooted in a lot of theancient philosophies and
(44:50):
psychological concepts thatwe've talked about.
Like stoicism.
Is that how you say it?
Because it seems wrong.
Stoicism.
Which is, yeah, which isbasically focus on yourself
because there is where your truepower lies.
And then Buddhism, which helpsyou not only accept reality, but
also separate yourself from theneed to change everything.
(45:11):
The Detachment Theory.
Which is to create a mental gapbetween your emotions and the
situation at hand, allowingyourself to observe what's
happening without beingconsumed.
Which to me, was justautomatically meditation.
taking a thought, throwing itout.
Chris (45:29):
It's that pause.
Yeah.
It's that pause and givingyourself that space to make the
right decision.
Sarah (2) (45:34):
Exactly.
And then, I wrote a bunch ofshit down.
Okay, the next thing that Iabsolutely loved was the seesaw
visual.
do you recall the seesaw visual?
Okay, so you have a seesaw.
And you're on one end.
And all the other people.
So in this particular case, ifwe go back to the social media
thing, she's on one end and allher friends are over here.
(45:56):
So when you're not using the letme part of things, Or let them
part of things, you're creatingall this weight on yourself and
you weigh down that seesaw andtherefore you're giving them all
this power above you.
So what you need to do, then youcome in and you say, let them
fuck it, let them.
And that reverses that and givesyou a little bit, a little boost
(46:18):
of superiority.
I don't need them.
I don't need that.
And it reverses it.
So now you're up here.
But then what happens whenyou're up here all the time and
you're just on your high horse?
That's not too fun all the time.
So then you have to bring thelet me part of it in and that's
what brings everybody to theirlevel playing ground.
And that's what levels out theseesaw, which I thought was
really, I liked thatillustration in the book.
(46:41):
I thought that was really cool.
So let me see.
So yeah, without, I'm going toread this because I thought this
was good.
Without them, others are overyou.
You have the heavy side by yourown doing.
You're letting the others havepower over you.
With let them, you're freed fromthat weight and the seesaw
teeters in the other direction,leaving you in the superior
role, but then you're strandedin your superiority.
(47:02):
So you have to go to the let me,which brings everything onto
that level playing field.
And then this is where awarenesscomes back into it.
Which goes back to themeditating and all of that and
doing that gap that you giveyourself time to breathe.
And in saying that, it's allabout giving other people grace
and space to live their livesand then giving yourself the
(47:24):
same.
and a few things like let themstop expecting, let them, me,
take responsibility.
Let me take responsibility.
Let me be more proactive.
Let me develop.
Let me prioritize.
Let me reach out.
Chris (47:37):
Yeah, I think every single one of these things is
the secret, right?
It's being able to say, I haveresponsibility for my own life.
I don't have responsibility forall of the bad things that have
happened in my life, but I havethe responsibility to react and
adjust to those things.
I don't have the responsibilityif I go out here and get into a
(48:00):
car accident and end up with,horrific injuries.
I have the responsibility tomold and shape my life based on
that happening to me.
That is how I grow as a person.
I have the responsibility tolook around me all the time and
be like, I don't particularlycare for this or I don't mind
this because I'm getting a lotof opportunities to learn,
(48:24):
right?
this sucks for right now, but Iknow that I'm learning and I
know that I'm growing.
If I'm able to takeresponsibility for, if I'm in
this situation, And I'm like,wow, this is so totally.
F'd up and I'm so worried aboutit because somebody is impacting
me, somebody is making thesehorrific decisions and I'm like,
I don't understand what you'redoing right now, right?
(48:46):
like my, my, my boss at work ismaking bad decisions and making
my life a struggle.
okay, you got a couple ofoptions, you can take
responsibility for where you arein that situation, and you can
say, alright, I don't have tocontrol what you're doing, boss.
This is, you are impacting mylife in a way that makes it this
way, so I'm gonna let you doyou.
(49:06):
You do you, you act the way thatyou're gonna act, you make
decisions that you're gonnamake, you're gonna deal with the
consequences of that, what Ihave to do is deal with the
consequences of the situationthat I'm in, right?
it's this full circle theorythat pulls everything into kind
of a nice, neat little package.
I'm super excited to read thenext couple of chapters.
Sarah (2) (49:28):
Yeah, me too.
she ends this section with twowarnings or two questions.
Does the theory apply tochildren?
and like I said earlier, yes,but there are caveats and, what
we're going to be focusing on inthe book is adulthood.
and she'll be touching upon itthroughout the book.
Like we're talking adults here,right?
So there will be a mention ofthat.
and then the next one was, whatif the theory makes you lonely?
(49:52):
let them.
So now I'm lonely because I leteverybody let them.
then you need to recess howyou're using it because you're
using it wrong.
You're not doing the secondstep.
You're not pulling the let meinto it.
So these are the things that youneed to keep in mind throughout
the book.
We're gonna be focusing onadulthood throughout the book.
It's really important that we'retalking about let them and let
me and we're focusing on both ofthem to have that equilibrium,
Chris (50:14):
Yeah.
Yeah.
this is lovely
Sarah (2) (50:17):
and This is,
Chris (50:19):
this is
Sarah (2) (50:20):
lovely, this is lovely.
So next week you are going torun the show and you're going to
take us into the second sessionwhich is called You and the Let
Me Theory, Chapter 3, which I'msuper excited about especially
because of the name.
The name of it is Shocker, Lifeis Stressful, Who Knew?
Amazing.
(50:40):
Chapter 4 is Let Them Stress YouOut.
So I'm assuming the next sectionis a little bit about stress and
how we're going to use the LetThem Theory to drive us through
it.
So that's it.
Chris (50:51):
No, I love it.
I really do enjoy picking andpulling from the, our past
stuff.
and tying it in, it's one of myfavorite parts of doing this.
It's one of the reasons I wantedto do it this way, because I was
able to make like super weirdconnections between the subtle
art of not giving a fuck andBrene Brown.
I was like, what if there'ssomething here?
(51:12):
What if all of these dumb assself help book reading books
that I've been reading andleaving on the shelf and going,
Oh, interesting.
What a fantastic theory.
What if there's something there?
What if there's me on thisphone?
Yeah.
Sarah (2) (51:23):
That'd be great.
And that's what, I originallydidn't want to go into Let Them
because I felt it's just anotherbook of, what we're doing, and
it is.
But I think that's the mostimportant thing is that this is
a practice that we have to getused to, that this is something
that is going to be part of ourlives for the rest of our lives.
It's not like we, you read thatone book.
the subtle art of giving a fuck,yeah, it's awesome, and then you
(51:45):
put it on the shelf and go aboutyour life.
yeah, that's how you're notchanging anything.
So if you continue to stackthese things, it's like the
habit stacking.
You're just continuing to findnew ways, different ways, and
find that you can intertwinethem and make it work for you.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Chris (52:01):
000 different books out there on how to lose weight.
There he is.
Macho.
Sarah (2) (52:07):
There he is.
He just woke up.
Perfect time.
Chris (52:10):
Yeah.
There's 10, 000 different waysto lose weight, a hundred
different books on it.
And this is the same.
There's only one way to loseweight and it's to find the
thing that works for you, thatwill help you lose weight.
Sarah (2) (52:21):
And I feel like she set the stage for that at the
beginning when she said, youknow what's funny about when
you're stuck, you know what todo, like we know what to do, but
we need to continue to reinforcethese things and we need to
continue to surround ourselveswith things that will help us do
these things because justbecause we know what to do,
doesn't make it easy.
Chris (52:38):
And for me, it always comes back to finding the stuff
that's important to you.
what is the important thing thatI'm going to let them, what is
the important thing that I'mgoing to take responsibility
for?
What are the things that areannoying, but I just don't care
enough?
Fine, we, you can, I'll beannoyed about those, but what do
I want to really lay into?
and that's how you, I thinkthat's how you move the needle.
Sarah (2) (53:00):
I like it, move the needle.
we're gonna wrap up, before wewrap up though, a few things.
On April 4th, our anniversaryparty, Craft house, stage and
grill.
Check out old school online,check out their music.
It's going to be pretty awesome.
Super excited about it.
If you could please, if you'reinterested in coming and joining
us, shoot us an email, remembergastergirls at gmail.
(53:22):
com.
Even if you're not going to comejoin us, send us an email and
tell us that, our email address,that's pretty cool.
In addition to that, find us onFacebook if you haven't already,
The Mental Funny Bone.
Do we have a handle on Facebook?
I don't know how it works.
I don't know what a handle is.
Just look up The Mental Funny.
Yeah, I'm not really sure.
Becca said it the other day, soI felt like I knew what I was
talking about.
she's cool.
And we are working, Becca isworking tirelessly to help us
(53:46):
get some other social mediathings set up.
Instagram, TikTok, Substack.
I don't know what other shit Idon't know what the kids are
doing these days.
Yeah.
I can tell you we won't be on X.
That's for sure.
Okay.
So that's it.
We're going to wrap it up.
Till next week.
Keep on laughing and What?
Before you say the tagline.
That was it.
(54:06):
I was just going to say keep onlaughing.
Chris (54:08):
Hey, if you guys could, if you guys could go to the
social media things or thepodcast things or wherever
you're listening to this.
Yeah, that's it.
That's it.
If you could like it andsubscribe and tell a friend.
Yeah.
We're, we are endeavoring togive you guys some good stuff to
listen to.
And it turns out if you'refeeling a bit shy about sharing
(54:28):
the fact that you listen to acomedy mental health podcast,
People dig it.
Turns out I've, I've, gottenover my shyness and shared it
with a bunch of people andpeople that I did not expect to,
to really like it have come upand said, Hey, I listened to
your podcast.
And then they followed it upwith, it was funny.
So I like when that
Sarah (2) (54:47):
happens.
That's awesome.
But yeah, so wherever you listento your podcast, make sure you
subscribe to the podcast, likethe podcast, share the podcast,
and also go on YouTube andsubscribe there.
Yeah, definitely.
All
Chris (55:00):
you guys.
all right.
What is that?
keep on laughing.
Keep laughing.
Have a good week.
Keep laughing.
Sarah (2) (55:05):
We'll figure out something to end.
Yeah, we're gonna, yeah.
All right.
Love you.
Bye.
Love you.
Bye.
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