Navigating Co-Parenting with Grace and Purpose - Trent Cotton

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On this week's episode of the Quarterback Dadcast, Casey Jacox sits down with the talented Trent Cotton, the VP of Culture from Hatchworks AI.

Maintaining a meaningful connection with your child when physical distance separates you isn't just challenging—it can feel nearly impossible. Trent knows this struggle intimately. After separating from his wife when their daughter was only two and a half years old, with three hours of distance between them, Trent had to build his relationship through phone calls with a toddler who sometimes wasn't interested in talking.

"There were numerous nights that I would cry myself to sleep just thinking I'm not going to have the relationship that I've always wanted to have with my child," Trent reveals. Yet today, he and his daughter speak almost daily, discussing everything from fashion choices to profound conversations about physics, politics, and faith. How did he transform those tearful nights into this thriving relationship?

The cornerstone of Trent's approach came from advice that changed everything: "Never say anything negative about your child's other parent in front of them." Through years of co-parenting challenges, he maintained this principle, refusing to let family members speak poorly of his ex-wife in his daughter's presence. This commitment created a foundation of safety and respect that allows his daughter to have relationships with both parents without feeling caught in the middle.

Trent's philosophy of "excellence always" has guided both his career and his parenting. "Do things when people aren't looking and do them well," he explains, "and I promise you, it'll become such a habit that the world will start to notice." This value has taken root in his daughter, who was recently accepted into a master's program in civil engineering—something Trent speaks about with unmistakable pride.

Perhaps most powerful is Trent's advice to "lead people to where they need to be, but don't judge them for where they are." This compassionate approach recognizes that our children are on their own journey, and our role isn't to criticize their current position but to guide them toward their best future self.

Want to transform your parenting approach? Listen now to discover how playing the "long game" in parenting can help you navigate even the most challenging circumstances while building unbreakable bonds with your children. Your parenting North Star is waiting.

Please don't forget to leave us a review wherever you consume your podcasts! Please help us get more dads to listen weekly and become the ultimate leader of their homes!

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hi, I'm Riley and I'm Ryder and this is my dad show.
Hey, everybody, it's CaseyJaycox with the quarterback dad
cast.
Welcome to season six, and Icould not be more excited to
have you join me for anotheryear of fantastic episodes and
conversations really unscriptedand raw and authentic

(00:25):
conversations with dads.
If you're new to this podcast,really it's simple.
It's a podcast where weinterview dads, we learn about
how they were raised, we learnabout the life lessons that were
important to them, we learnabout the values that are
important to them and really welearn about how we can work hard
to become a better quarterbackor leader of our home.
So let's sit back, relax andlisten to today's episode on the
Quarterback Dadcast.

(00:45):
Well, hello everybody, it'sCasey Jaycox again with the
Quarterback Dadcast.
We are in season six, which, ifyou've heard me say before I'm
going to say it again it feelsfantastic because we're doing
something right or we just haveone person that keeps listening
and we want to thank that person.
But no, joking aside, our nextguest.
His name is Trent Cotton, and Ifound Trent through my good

(01:06):
buddy, brad from Assemble, and Ilearned I heard about their
conversation.
I'm like, oh, he seems like agood dude and so we had a great
conversation and I told him likeI wonder how it's?
But mainly this podcast andwe're not going to talk too much
about Hatchworks AI, but wewill.
But more importantly, it'sabout life as a dad, so let's do

(01:27):
it so quickly about him.
He's been in the industry forover 20 years with an HR and
town acquisition.
He currently serves as the vicepresident of talent and culture
at Hatchworks AI.
He's a South Alabama Jaguar, Ibelieve, but more importantly,
he's a dad and that's why he'sgoing to be on the show today.
So, without further ado, mrCotton, welcome to the
Quarterback Dadcast.

Speaker 2 (01:47):
Hey, thank you so much.
You know you are the firstperson to reference that I'm a
Jaguar.
I actually forgot the mascot.
You told me a while ago thatwas a flashback.

Speaker 1 (02:03):
Well, I have a weird, very bizarre, weird sense of
humor.
I think most quarterbacks and,uh, we, we definitely have a
screw loose because we like tohave fun and bring energy to the
room.
But uh, I have this thing thatI always think it's fun to like
reference where people went tocollege and find out their
mascot and usually I get theresponse you did like.
Oh my god, how did you know Iwas a jaguar?

Speaker 2 (02:18):
but it's kind of fun yeah, well, they didn't get a
football team until well after Igraduated there, which it
wouldn't have made anydifference to me I'm not a
sports person but for all thosethat really cherish being an
alumni from there, that was abig deal for them.
So kudos to them, I guess.

Speaker 1 (02:39):
There you go.
Well, we always start out eachepisode with gratitude.
So tell me, what are you mostgrateful for as a dad today?
Well, we always start out eachepisode with gratitude, so tell
me, what are you most gratefulfor as a dad today?

Speaker 2 (02:46):
I am thankful for the relationship that I have with
my daughter.
So, just, you know, kind ofpulling back the onion a little
bit, her mother and I separatedwhenever she was about two and a
half or three and moved, sothere was like three hours of
distance between the two of usand for the longest time all I
had was, you know, a couple ofphone calls during the week.

(03:06):
And so, you know, if you're adad, imagine trying to maintain
a relationship with yourthree-year-old on the phone when
sometimes they don't want totalk.
You know it's hard to get themto talk.
So there were numerous nightsthat I and I'm not exaggerating
I would cry myself to sleep justthinking, okay, I'm not, I'm
not going to have therelationship that I want to,

(03:28):
that I've always wanted to havewith one of my children and, um,
you know it's, it's fun, uh, it, it's, it's very comforting.
Now, um, you know we talk justabout every other day.
Uh, if she's not calling me,I'll call her and check on her.
And you know some of the thingsthat you know I worked really
hard to do, which is create thatsafe environment where you know

(03:50):
she can come and just saywhatever she wants to.
There's no judgment and youknow, some of the conversations
we have can be something, as youknow, minuscule, as what to
wear, or as deep, as you knowphysics and God and politics and
history and all that other kindof stuff, and I just I like the
full spectrum of it.

(04:10):
So I'm very grateful for that.
And then this week I am alsoincredibly grateful that all
those years that I was committedto it but you know, as a dad
sometimes you second-guessyourself, you feel a little
guilty but I have instilled inher, since she was four or five
years old, excellence, always EA.

(04:32):
She has really taken it toheart and it is who she is.
She got accepted this week intothe master's program in civil
engineering at her college.
That's cool.
And so she is super, superexcited.
So she graduates in May and shestarts, I think, in June for

(04:54):
her master's and she's just,she's amazing, she's absolutely
amazing.
She had every reason in theworld and every excuse in the
world not to be as driven andsuccessful as she is, and she is
all of that in spite of herlife circumstances.
So I'm incredibly grateful forthat.

Speaker 1 (05:13):
It's awesome.
I always love asking uh parentswhat makes them grateful, and
we always I mean as a dad whenpeople ask me about my kids, I
light up.
I can't wait to talk about them.
It's like're, so you're, we'reproud of them, right, and yeah,
um, what I'm grateful for today,trent is, uh, my son's in
college and he is, I'd say,halfway through his freshman

(05:37):
year, and I know that when I wasin college, like god, love my
mom and my pops, my pops rest inpeace.
Like I called a couple of timesa week maybe, but I talked to
my son every day, every day.
Not because he's like, oh, dude,dad, leave me alone.
Like my wife and I were like,no, he like he loves.
Like we've, I'm grateful forthe all the hard work we did is

(05:59):
like I feel like it's startingto pay off now and we're still
going to keep working hard andhopefully get the next benefit
in 20 years from now.
But we're like he.
We're not like, oh, my dad's adouche, he's such a tool.
Like, yeah, like they respectus.
We have great relationships.
We talk about a lot of stuff.
Um, are you like?
You know I'm a passionate aboutthe word curiosity.
Um, people that know me andit's a superpower.

(06:21):
So I've been worked really hardto teach him and my daughter
that skill.
But I'm just, I'm grateful formy son that he still loves
talking to mom and dad each andevery day, because when your kid
goes off to college, as youwell know, and that was, that
was brutal, that was so hard,yeah well it was.

Speaker 2 (06:37):
But you know there is , um, there's something in life
that I've learned the hard waythat every trial, once you learn
the lesson, you're able to moveon.
And there's something in lifethat I've learned the hard way
that every trial, once you learnthe lesson, you're able to move
on.
And there's another trialcoming down the road.
But for me, those times thatall I had was the phone call I
mean luckily, I think in 2011, Iwas able to move where she was

(07:02):
living and so I got to have moreof the split parent type of
relationship and time periodwith her.
But even then, we had to bothkind of get used to it, because
we were used to just talking toeach other on the phone, seeing
each other every other weekend.
So there was an adjustmentthere.
But during that time, if youwould have told me, hey, you're
going to be grateful that allyou have is a phone call later

(07:25):
in life, I don't know that Iwould have been nice, I guess.
Just to say you know, Iprobably would have told you
where to go and who to see whenyou got down there in the best
course to take.
Now, 20-something or 18 yearslater, I can hear her on the

(07:47):
phone and I am so in tune withher voice I go hey, what's wrong
?
Are you sick?
Who's bothering you?
I can listen and be a lot morein tune than I think I would
have been had she grown up inthe house with me.
I'd be able to notice herbehaviors, but now I can get it

(08:07):
down to just the tone of hervoice and the word inflection
that she uses.
So you know, it's learning howto be thankful for the trials
and you know it's just funny.
Now that I'm kind of stoppingand thinking about it, it's like
I can go and relive thosemoments of going.
I remember one time I wasironing my work shirt and I
wasn't able to talk to her thenight before I think she was

(08:28):
four or five years old, uh,because she didn't want to talk
to me.
She had other stuff that shewanted to do and just that I
went into that death spiral ofgoing.
Well, she doesn't want to talkto me now she's not going to
want to talk to me.
When she's in middle school,high school, she's going to have
her friends, like I was justgoing through this thing and I
was sobbing, you know, and I'mnot an emotional person.

(08:50):
Um so I mean it was.
It was very gut wrenching, soto come out on the other side of
that and actually now be ableto look back with some gratitude
.

Speaker 1 (08:58):
Um, it's something else, a I'm sure it's from
someone else, but I heard acollege basketball coach who
just a great, he actually leftbasketball because he just
didn't want to deal with thewhat's going on, but he seems
tony bennett.
He said adversity is life'sgolden ticket and when you can,
you can like, take you know itgoes back to mindset work, but

(09:20):
you can choose like this isn'thappening to me, that before me,
I can try to look, try to findsomething to be positive,
because it's like you said,there's always going to be stuff
that sucks sometimes in lifewhere we get this, but the the
time I focus less worrying aboutwoe is me and try because but
I'm flawed just like every otherhuman we get in those funks.
How do you quickly get out ofit?
How do you quickly get out?

Speaker 2 (09:40):
of it to try to find the blessing in it, but and you
know the other one that I'veI've learned to live by, and my
grandmother taught me this um incollege.
She said you can eithercomplain about the change or
lead it, and that um, for betteror for worse, in my career,
that has been something that Ihave I have really stuck to.
You know, um, because you know,for for a lot of it you can't

(10:04):
get into that.
What, what was me?
Because, oh, this change isbeing inflicted on me.
But if you change your mindsetand go, how can I inspire and
lead this change and be at theforefront of it and be in
control of it?
There's a lot more ownershipthere, you know, and you start
finding ways that you can sewinto that rather than being so
resistant.

Speaker 1 (10:22):
Shout out to grandma for dropping some wisdom.

Speaker 2 (10:27):
Oh, so funny story.
I was very close to both of my,especially my grandmothers, but
grandparents in general veryclose, and the relationship that
I had with my paternalgrandmother.
You know, a lot of my friendswere like, who are you talking
to?
And I'm talking to my grandmaand they're like you're talking
to her about that.
Like I mean there was nosubject that was off the table

(10:47):
between the two of us.
And whenever I was going througha pretty rough time, I called
her one time and I said hey, andshe could hear in my voice.
I mean she would say, hey,what's bothering you?
I'm not going to drag it out ofyou, just tell me.
And I would just kind ofcrumble.
But I remember I told her onetime.
I said, hey, can you pray forme?
I'm going through a reallyrough time.
And she goes absolutely and shegoes.
I pray for you all the time.

(11:08):
Are you, are you praying foryourself?
And I said, yeah, um, I justfeel like every time I pray it
hits the ceiling and it comesback down.
Never missed a beat.
She goes then pray outside andI was like, what do you say to
that?
You know, I mean she just shehad, yeah, she had those just
right between the eyes, andanyone that has known me for a

(11:31):
long period of time knows thatshe is one of the few people on
earth that could shut me up withsomething and just do it so
eloquently, just so wise.
So I'm very blessed to have hadtwo sets of grandparents that
were just amazing, amazingpeople that just you know.
They're still part of who I amtoday and also to part of who my

(11:52):
daughter is.

Speaker 1 (11:53):
Are they still alive?

Speaker 2 (11:55):
No, I lost my last one.
I actually both paternalgrandparents passed away last
year and my maternalgrandparents passed away and I
want to say 2018 and uh, 2017and 2018.

Speaker 1 (12:11):
So rest in peace.
Yeah, it's, but the nice thingis, the memories will be there
forever, absolutely, the voicewill be in your head.

Speaker 2 (12:18):
Oh yeah, oh yeah, and , and I was uh telling my
husband that, you know, when mydaughter called with the good
news, the first people I wantedto call were my grandmothers,
Cause I knew that they justwould have been like all over it
.
You know.
So.
You know it's moments like thatthat I do miss them.
You know, um, but the amountthat they invested in in all of

(12:39):
their family, it's, it'sgenerational, you know.
So it's definitely a gift.

Speaker 1 (12:44):
Love it.
Well, um, bring me inside.
Trent, the, the.
I would call this the.
You know I have a little bit ofa sports metaphor, but this
podcast is not about sports.
I just I played quarterback incollege, so it's like the theme
of playing a quarterback couldbe a leader of a team, and so I
was like the quarterback couldbe a leader of the house, but
sometimes a quarterback's got tocheck his or her ego and lead

(13:05):
from someone else.
So maybe just kind of with that, maybe bring me inside your
huddle per se your close family,and tell me a little bit about
your husband and tell me alittle bit about, maybe a little
bit more about, your daughterthat you're so proud of.

Speaker 2 (13:21):
So we, it's kind of interesting.
So, just our nucleus is thethree of us and um, it's really
interesting because she has arelationship with my husband um,
that's completely differentthan the relationship she has
with me, and she's also veryclose to my sister.

(13:41):
I'm the oldest of four, um, andmy sister lives in Atlanta as
well, so you know, case in point, she's trying to pick out a
graduation dresses and so, beingmy daughter, I'm I'm a data guy
Uh, I survey everything, I lovedata.
She sends us a text with aGoogle form, uh, with different,
that we had to rate thedifferent dresses, and I just

(14:02):
got so tickled I'm like thischild is cut from the same cloth
.
But she sent it to my husband,me and my sister, and so that's
kind of the nucleus that she hashere in Atlanta.
But our group of friends arevery intertwined with her.
They're always asking about herWhenever she comes.

(14:25):
Sometimes we'll have everybodyover and you know they treat her
just like, you know, one of thegangs.
So it's.
It's very interesting becauseshe's got that.
But then on on her mom's sideit's a very close extended
family, uh, so she's kind of gotthe best of both worlds.
You know she's got kind of asmall nucleus that you know we,
we all kind of move at adifferent pace and we respect

(14:47):
each other's pace, um, and thenshe's got the large family where
you know you've got all thoselarge family dynamics of
everybody needs to do a certainthing, a certain way, and then
you know, uh, so she's got thebest of both worlds.
I think Very cool.

Speaker 1 (15:01):
Well, it's interesting, man, though I would
say the last within the last 30episodes I've done.
I've done close to 300.
Now there's been a lot of coparenting episodes and which you
know, which maybe I'll diveinto later, but which I think
it's, it's and I'd love to.
You know, love, learn, likewhat's.
There's probably good days, baddays, but it's just a constant

(15:22):
communication of just workinghard to put your daughter at the
forefront of the decisions.
But it's been interesting, justlike having talked to some
people, because, you know, knockon wood, I've not experienced
that, I don't want to experiencethat.
My wife and I have been married.
It'll be 26 years this month.

Speaker 2 (15:37):
Oh, congratulations.

Speaker 1 (15:38):
Yeah, we met in seventh grade too.

Speaker 2 (15:41):
Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 (15:41):
Crazy, yeah, crazy yeah.
So, um, but before we dive intosome of that, I love, trent, to
go back in time, if you can,and, and and.
Just talk about what was lifelike growing up for you and the
impact that your parents had onyou.
Now that you're a dad, oh, um.

Speaker 2 (15:57):
So I mentioned I'm the oldest of four and um, both
of my parents were raised invery I wouldn't say militaristic
, but it was a very lead withcontrol versus context, and so
my parents were young whenever Iwas born I think 19 and 20.

(16:17):
And you know my brother wasborn three years after me.
So you know they had to grow upvery quickly.
I have always been different, Ithink differently and I don't
really function well in acommand and control type of
environment.
I like to be able to contribute, I like to discuss things.

(16:40):
I like to ask why I wasnicknamed Riddler in school,
because I always asked why, whyare we doing it this way?
What's that, what's that?
And it's just because you knowto your point.
I had a huge curiosity and Ilike to understand not just hey,
this is a watch, but how is thewatch made?
Why is that gear more importantthan this one?

(17:01):
You know to a level that I feelokay enough to be able to say,
yeah, I trust the watch.
Bill and Debbie were not.
My parents were not very muchlike that.
It was like do this because Isaid so.
And um, I was not a sports kid.
I mean, I grew up in in thecountry of Alabama, so Grand Bay

(17:23):
, alabama, uh, grew up, you knowa lot of land.
So I mean I you know all of myfriends that talk about yeah, I
snuck out in high school and I'mlike I didn't sneak out, I was
scared to death.
What was out there.
I heard it.
I didn't want to see it.
So it was a very differentenvironment and the things that
I did learn from my parents waswork ethic, both grandfathers

(17:49):
and my father you weren't goingto outwork them, they just.
It was almost a competitivething.
I also learned in our familywhat you said you would do, you
did at all costs.
So there was a lot of pride inour word saying, okay, I'm going

(18:10):
to come over and help you withyour load of, or help you with
your hay next weekend.
I wouldn't make plans for nextweekend because I committed to
you and I know that you'redepending on me.
There's there's that sense ofcommunity and interdependence
that was incredibly, incrediblyimportant.
Um, and then just excellence,always um.
You know it.
Maybe not the way that theytried to teach me was the best,

(18:36):
um, but I did learn that in thebeginning and I think that I'm
I'm better for it.
Um, but yeah, the questioningthing.
I remember pre-algebra, seventhgrade.
So I skipped to one or twogrades going from elementary to
college preparatory.
So I went from math where it'slong division, where it's
probably the most complex thingthat we were doing to now there

(18:58):
are letters in the equation.
I did not get the part of whata letter meant, what a variable
was, and I was being expected tojust do some of this basic
pre-algebra.
And I remember sitting on thefloor with my father and he was
trying to explain he goes, moveX to the other side.
I'm like why?
And he goes, that's what you do.

(19:19):
I said okay, can we talk aboutwhere did X come from?
Why are letters involved inmath?
He goes, it just is, and mybrain just didn't work that way.
I mean I was used to makingstraight A's, not having to
study.
I mean I'm very blessed that myparents instilled in me a very,
very strong commitment toeducation and they did it for

(19:40):
all of us, all four of theirchildren.
They have the pride enough tosay that all four of us are very
successful in our own right andcontributing members of society
, and not a lot of parents cansay that.
So kudos to Bill and Debbie forthat.
Um, but I remember, you know hehe would just get so incredibly
frustrated.
And um, because he justunderstood it, and well, to my

(20:04):
pre-algebra teacher also told meshe goes.
You know, you got to see, um,math is just not going to be the
thing for you.
And something else I got frommy father is don't ever, ever
tell me that I can't dosomething.
That is the worst thing in theworld to tell me, because I am
going to try like hell to proveyou wrong.
And so I did.

(20:24):
Whenever I got my 92 and CalCalculus II in college and I
slept through the class, I madesure that I went back and I
showed Miss Eaton and she goes.
I always knew I said no, no, no, no, no, no, it's not what you
said.
You told me I would never be agood math person.
Here's proof that it was you,it wasn't me.
So it was just kind of thatconstant battle between my

(20:44):
parents and me of I wanted to goone way, I wanted to think
about things differently andthey wanted me to conform and to
conform, and it was just likeoil and water.
So, um, yeah, work ethic, um,commitment, um, very protective
of family like they're.
They're very protective of thepeople they love, and I am too,
um, but also to you know, don'tpull any punches on things yeah,

(21:08):
um, tell me what they meant andthen what you mean now by
excellence, excellence always.

Speaker 1 (21:18):
What does that mean?

Speaker 2 (21:20):
So for them it was being at the top of the class.
When you did your chores, youdid them correctly and I hate
washing dishes because I had towash them growing up and my
brother would dry and my fatherwas.

(21:40):
His dad was Air Force, so Imean he was a military brat and
I always tell people by proxy.
I feel like I was raised bysomeone in the military.
He would inspect, my fatherwould inspect the dishes and if
there was a spot he would put itback and we would have to start
all over.
And he threatened one time.
He said if you don't cleanthese right, I'm going to yank
every dish out of this kitchenand you're going to wash them

(22:02):
all by hand until whatever timeit takes.
And he made true on his promiseand we were on the last two or
three and my brother was justtired and he thought it was
funny and he left a thing and myfather took them all back out
and put them all back.
So we washed every dish in thehouse twice.
But it taught me something likedon't let there be a spot on

(22:24):
something and think that it'sokay.
And so there was a little bitof that perfectionism.
But I'm thankful for it,because I don't do things
halfway.
I can't sleep because in theback of my mind I'm thinking I'm
going to have to wash everydish in the house.
You know I was cursing him atthe time, but I'm thankful for
that lesson now.

Speaker 1 (22:43):
Well, it's a choice.

Speaker 2 (22:45):
It is.
It is, but I think, from forhow we were raised, it became
part of our psyche.
I think, from for how we wereraised, it became part of our
psyche of how we define who weare.
You know, my sister is a hardworker.
She and I've worked at the sameplace twice and we worked at

(23:06):
the at a bank together, and sheworked for the division that I
supported in HR, and the COOwould email both of us and go.
I don't know which one of youtakes care of this, but here's
what I need.
And he knew that he never hadto follow up with us because we
were going to get it done and weweren't going to tell him oh,
you know, that's my sister, getit with her.
He knew that I was just goingto get it done and to me that's

(23:28):
excellence always You're doingthe right thing, whether you're
being watched or not, becausethat's the right thing to do,
and that's what I've tried totell my daughter Do things
whenever people aren't lookingand do them well.
And I promise you, I promiseyou it'll take some time, but
it'll become such a habit foryou that the world will start to
notice, and I think that's whatshe's starting to see now.

Speaker 1 (23:51):
Yeah, that's good.
Tell me what Bill and Debbiedid for work.

Speaker 2 (23:57):
Uh, so, interestingly enough, both of them were high
school graduates, never went tocollege.
Um, my father, my father, didmost of the work in my.
We were lucky.
My mother stayed home most ofour childhood and my father, um,
started with the company he'swith now as a truck driver and

(24:19):
he had lost his job before.
That was out of work for alittle while.
I mean, luckily we lived on afarm, so I mean, you know we
have food and things like that,but he did odd end stuff until
he got this job, working as atruck driver for or delivery
driver for a piping company, andsome 30, some almost 40 years

(24:41):
later he is um.
He's been running that branchand a couple of other branches.
They play hail to the chiefwhenever he comes into the room.
Um, he worked his way up, heworked his way hard.
Very cool and you know, for me,I always admired that people in
his office would come and go,hey, how do you solve this

(25:01):
problem?
Because he had worked in thatposition.
That's how he got to be in theposition that he's in, and I
think that that's something.
Now that I think about it, Ithink it's almost been
subconsciously ingrained in methat whenever I'm in a
leadership position, I want myteam to know that I can get down
in the dirt just right alongwith them and shovel, and I
don't think that I'm any betterfor it, you know.

(25:23):
Um, that is definitely somethingthat I learned from him, so
he's very accomplished veryaccomplished to be, you know, a
high school graduate only, but Imean, he, he looks at
engineering stuff and he taughthimself accounting.
At the funeral he and I weretalking about AI stuff.
It was just kind of funny.

(25:45):
He was being the dad Well, Iknow this and this and this, I'm
like, well, that's cute, but wehad the conversation, so he's.
He's definitely intellectuallycurious.

Speaker 1 (25:58):
I guess having parents to have you young that's
a challenge for them, I canonly imagine.
But, like, the blessing ismaybe you get more time with
them, if they're healthy, atlater in your life and maybe
your, your daughter, getsgrandma, grandpa, longer.
And I say that kind of maybe atof envy because my dad passed
away.
My dad had us late.
he was like nine years olderthan my mom, um, so my dad he

(26:23):
was in his like, I mean, hepassed away at 79 and I hope, I
hope I'm like rocking 90 whenI'm, you know and stay fit and
yeah um, so I'm sure that'sgotta be at least fun at this
stage of your life where you're,you know, have had success in
corporate and executive roles,and I'm sure your pops is props,

(26:44):
is proud of you for doing whatyou're doing.

Speaker 2 (26:47):
Yeah, you know, my parents and I are not as close,
um, you know, know we talk everyonce in a while, but they're
just again, I'm very different.
So you know, for a long time Iresented them a little bit for
that.
But now I've just kind of cometo understand that they can't
relate to the things that areimportant to me because that's

(27:11):
just not what they're accustomedto.
You know, case in point mymother, when we were talking not
too long ago she goes.
So what do you do?
And so I said I work forHatchworks AI.
She goes.
You do AI.
I was like, yeah, she goes.
I don't trust that AI, I don'tuse it.
I said okay.
I said, mom, do you use Siri?
She goes, yeah, I said that,yeah.
So that's AI.
She goes.

(27:31):
I don't want them listening inon me, I promise you.
You live in Grand Bay, alabama,on 100 acres of land.
There is nothing of interest toyou from the NSA or anybody
else.
So just rest assured, you're OK.
But to me it was just kind oflike OK, they don't really
understand what I do.
Part of that is because I don'treally tell them but I'm not in

(27:54):
the industry that my father'sin Both of my brothers are Um,
both of my brothers can build ahouse, just like my father built
a house from the ground up.
Um, they know how to fixanything.
I'm not wired that way.
So I think part of that is justthere's there's a lack of
relatability and and I'm okaywith that, you know that that's

(28:15):
fine.
I still love them, I stillrespect them, um, but I'm okay
with that, that's fine.
I still love them, I stillrespect them, but I'm not as
close to them as I wanted to be,and I think that really
influenced the type of parentthat I wanted to be.

Speaker 1 (28:24):
Yeah, Well, if it makes you feel better.
I am atrocious at handy skillsand my wife is actually way more
handy than I am, and sometimesshe's like hey, what happened to
you?
I'm like, this is not my, I cantype and talk.

Speaker 2 (28:37):
Yes, in front of a lot of people I'm comfortable.
I just can't fix anything Right.
Well, and I think that's whatfrustrates me the most, I don't
know if you can see behind me,but my husband actually did that
piece of art and I told himwell, we can build a frame, and
I measured it probably 20 timesand we went back and forth to
Home Depot because I measured orcut it wrong or something and I

(29:00):
was so frustrated.
He says why are you sofrustrated?
I said because my father and mybrothers could do this on one
slice, like probably wouldn'teven have to calculate in their
head as much as I have and Ican't get this done right, have
to calculate in their head asmuch as I have and I can't get
this done right.
You know it's so.
It's.
It's just kind of this theyhave this bar over here and I
can't compete over there and itdrives me crazy.

(29:21):
But you know, like you know toyour point, there are certain
things that I can do, that theycan't, and that's okay.
That's what makes the world goaround 100%.

Speaker 1 (29:27):
That's like I.
I used to get like same kind ofwhat you said.
I used to get almost likeself-conscious about my god.
Why am I like I I'm a great, um, secondhand, like I can, I'm a
hard worker once someone kind ofstarts doing like, oh, that
makes sense.
But if I have to like be theengineering mechanical mind to
see how something's gonna bebuilt, like yeah, I got nothing,
no, my mind just doesn't workthat way yeah, my father tried,

(29:49):
uh, telling me one time wheneverI was in high school.

Speaker 2 (29:53):
um, he said you're going to need to learn to know
how to do these things.
I said, no, I'm going to makeenough money to pay someone who
does, and so that's been a veryguiding feature.
Yeah, yeah.
But I mean, whenever I lived inMobile with him, there were
several times where I called him.
I go, I have tried everything,I've looked on YouTube, I can't
fix it.
And he has this ability ofcoming over and going, oh, and

(30:15):
then he does like two things andit works, and it just sends me
into orbit, you know, and so.
But he has a gift with thatkind of stuff, and so do both of
my grandfathers.
They could look at anything andfix it.
It was kind of impressive towatch.

Speaker 1 (30:30):
You need people like that.
That's why you just Absolutelyto watch.
You need people like that.
That's what you just,absolutely, absolutely um, so
you, you and your, your ex-wifeseparated when you were, when
your daughter was young.
Um, what were some of theobviously you talked about in
very many with gratitude, likejust the challenge of like
having a relationship with hervia phone.
Obviously it's.
It's got a lot better now,which is great.

(30:51):
Um, maybe talk for for a dadout there that's maybe going
through similar challenges orthat is struggling to really
connect with their son ordaughter in a similar
environment.
Maybe talk about some lessonslearned, if you feel comfortable
, and maybe some actionableadvice that's really worked for
you that they might be able totake out of our episode today.

Speaker 2 (31:11):
So I got some amazing piece of advice from a friend
of mine whenever we were goingthrough the split up and she
told me never say anythingnegative about Celie that's my
daughter's name about Celie'smom, in front of her.
Nor do you let anybody else dothat.
And I held firm to that.
And sometimes family memberswould get ticked off because I

(31:33):
would say no, no, no, no, we'renot doing this.
And also, too, there were sometimes I just really wanted to
just bash her mom for somethingthat was going on.
But I held true to that and I'mthankful because at the end of
the day, whether I liked her momor not or her mom liked me, we

(31:54):
had to support each other and myjob as the father was to
disagree with her mom one-on-one, but we presented as a unified
front, probably the bulk of thetime.
It was not ever easy, because Iwas okay with being the bad guy.
If I knew that holding firm onsomething was going to benefit

(32:19):
Celie in the long run, I wasokay with that.
Her mom has always kind ofstruggled with that.
You always have one parent thatwants the kid to be the friend
and the other parent who's theparent.
I was the parent.
And even now I have to remindmy daughter I was like look, I
am your father before I'm yourfriend.
So I want to do both, butyou're not going to disrespect

(32:39):
one at the expense of the other.
So finding that line was veryimportant.
But if there's a father outthere that's going through that,
that's the first rule.
And especially if you have agirl, because you are setting
the tone for what they willtolerate in their relationships.
And you know, whenever I waskind of debating back and forth

(33:02):
about divorce I grew up Catholic, went to a priest, was talking
to him and you know he asked mea question.
He goes is this what you wantyour daughter to view as normal
in a relationship?
And that was that was all Ineeded.
I was like no, I don't.
I don't want her to think thatthis is okay, that this is how
people who love each other aresupposed to act, and holding

(33:26):
firm to making sure that Ialways showed respect to her mom
and did all that.
There were several times whereI really had to keep my cool, um
, but I think in the end thatwas the right decision, um.
The other thing is I alwaysfocused on things that just she
and I could do like just ourlittle routine.

(33:46):
So um when she was growing up,when she was little, we would
always watch Tom and Jerry orBugs Bunny on the couch and
she'd fall asleep.
Yeah, she'd fall asleep.
It was like our routine.
She'd get a bath, she'd get herjuice, we'd sit down on the
couch, you know she'd make itthrough one and she'd be out,
and then I'd go put her to bedand so that kind of became our

(34:09):
little thing, like movies andyou know stuff like that.
So find something that's justbetween the two of you that you
can share, and make that aroutine and that becomes your
child's safe place.
And I think those are probablythe two biggest pieces.

Speaker 1 (34:29):
I think what you said is absolute gold, trent.
I think it's easier said thandone.
It's easy and's it's easy, it'seasy, and sometimes even me
with my wife, it's like beingthat united front isn't always
easy and, specifically, as youdo separate, you go through
divorce.
Um, sometimes it could bereally toxic environments where
one's playing against the other.

(34:49):
And I and I commend you for themindset you have and and the
advice you took from your friendand and followed through on it,
because you know, one of myfavorite pieces of advice I got
in life is someone said do youwant to be right or do you want
to get what you want?
You can't get both.
Being right would be easy tosay, hey, my ex-wife's an idiot,
she's did it well, that doesn'tsolve anything, but getting

(35:10):
what you want.

Speaker 2 (35:10):
And it actually says more about you believe it or not
, you know, and and that wassomething that I had to learn,
um, probably the first year, uh,cause our, our divorce was not
pretty, it, it, it was very ugly, um, and you know there's still
like she and I we can be in thesame room.
I mean we'll, we'll say hello,we'll keep it nice, keep it

(35:35):
cordial, but it's not like we'rejust there's just too much
there, you know, and that's okay, you know, for the benefit of
our daughter.
You know, I tried to kind ofkeep the peace or whatever, um,
but you know, for, you know,fathers, when you're out there
bad mouthing the other, it, it,it actually looks bad on you.

(35:55):
You know, um, and I learnedthat the more that I try to put
down the other side, the worse Ilooked and it kind of defeated
the whole purpose.
You know, I was trying to makemyself look good, but, you know,
at the expense of somebody elseand in return I was actually
making myself look bad.
So don't put your laundry outthere for everybody.

(36:17):
You know, have those one or twofriends that you can call and
go this, blah, blah, blah, blah,blah, um, just don't get on a
podium in front of an audienceand talk about it.

Speaker 1 (36:26):
Nobody cares, you know well, it's kind of like,
just like in business, like youbash your competitor to your,
your customer you're going tolose.
Let them figure it out foryourself.
You can ask questions.
That's why getting back tocuriosity is a superpower.
You can ask questions that willexpose he or she or the
competitor, but if we're the oneleading with it, it just you're
.
I totally agree with you.
It says more about you and,like, almost like, makes us look

(36:47):
insecure like if we have to put.
You know, blow out someoneelse's candle to make ours
brighter, well, why?

Speaker 2 (36:54):
and and just one last piece of advice Do not try to
get your child to choose sides.
You know that is something thatto me that's warfare at the
expense of your child, andthat's just.
You don't want to do that andit's easy to want to get there
and do it.

(37:14):
But I just want to challengeyou take the higher road, you'll
benefit in the end.
I mean, my daughter and I havea thing If you want to know why
your mother and I got divorced,there are.
You know, we actually went tocourt because I wanted full
custody.
There's depositions.
I'll let you read them becauseyou know your mother, you know
me.

(37:34):
You'll be able to read that andyou'll be able to determine
what's truth and what's fiction.
And she said I don't want toknow, it's irrelevant why you
two split up, and I respect that.

Speaker 1 (37:44):
Yeah, did you have full custody?

Speaker 2 (37:48):
No, I did not State of Alabama.
It's very hard for the fatherto get full custody.

Speaker 3 (37:53):
Hello everybody, my name's Craig Coe and I'm the
Senior Vice President ofRelationship Management for
Beeline.
For more than 20 years, we'vebeen helping Fortune 1000
companies drive a competitiveadvantage with their external
workforce.
In fact, Beeline's history offirst-to-market innovations have
become today's industrystandards.
I get asked all the time whatdid Casey do for your

(38:15):
organization?
And I say this it's simple.
The guy flat out gets it.
Relationships matter.
His down-to-earth presentation,his real-world experience
applied to every area of ourbusiness.
In fact, his book Win theRelationship and Not the Deal
has become required reading forall new members of the Global
Relationship Management team.

(38:36):
If you'd like to know moreabout me or about Beeline,
please reach out to me onLinkedIn, and if you don't know
Casey Jaycox, go toCaseyJaycoxcom and learn more
about how he can help yourorganization.
Now let's get back to today'sepisode.

Speaker 1 (38:52):
I did an episode on the court system with a former
Major League Baseball player.
That was a powerful episode.
It was really I got educated.
I mean, you just don't know.
You don't know.
And when you take time to askquestions, kind of like what you
did as a kid, you learn a lotabout.
And he flat out said is like,if I the reason why I am getting
more custody is because I havemoney and I can pay legal fees

(39:16):
and I can keep paying legal feesto kind of keep getting the
next step.
But like when you, when a manand woman have a child, the the
automatically he was saying,it's like they're automatically
you get divorced and 100 goes tothe, the mom and it's like.
It's like, well, that's notright and it's just like this
how the system worked.
And so it's pretty interestingto hear his take on it yeah it.

Speaker 2 (39:39):
It was very um like, like I said, it got really
really ugly, um, but that's allin the past.
You know we're good.
But uh, I have the relationshipwith my daughter that I was
fighting for.
But I didn't fight for it.
I was fighting on the wrongbattlefield.
I was trying to fight in courtcause that was a short term play
, um.
Luckily, one day I kind of saidyou know what I'm going to play

(40:01):
the long game here.
And once I set my mindset onthat all the little trivial
stuff that happened on theday-to-day stuff, I measured
against is this going to get mecloser or further away from my
end goal with my daughter, andmade my decision there and it
really kind of helped me keepthings grounded.

Speaker 1 (40:19):
So cool.
Well, good, good for you forseeing that.
Seeing the light in a tunnel.
Um, I want to say big, it'd bethe bigger person, but I think
sometimes it is being the biggerperson.
It's setting your ego aside anddoing what's best for Sealy.
That's a cool story for peopleto hear, because when you get
stuck in the short term justlike in business when I work

(40:39):
with sales teams it's likeyou're going to lose.
But seeing the long game,that's why I think winning
people is the most importantthing versus a transaction.
It's and same thing withrelationships and family.
It's like see the big pictureand lately, um, what was, as you
think back?
One question I like asking dadsis like an area, their dad game
, or maybe they um, it wasn't,they weren't their best, or

(41:01):
maybe it's something you'restill working on and maybe I'll
leave my words here.
Trent, for me, I have patience.
As a competitive person, Ithink interviewing 300 dads uh,
my patience has gotten waybetter, um, because I'm getting
free therapy out of everyepisode.
Um, but for you, tell me what'san area your dad game that
might speak to dads at home, orthat you're either.
You know it's not quite whereyou want to be, but you're

(41:22):
working hard to improve it.

Speaker 2 (41:28):
So I have always been very honest with my daughter
and there are times that,looking back, I think that maybe
I not necessarily shouldn'thave been truthful, but I should
have been a little bit morejudicious on my omission.
You know, your child doesn'tneed to know every fault that
you've ever done or every baddecision that you've ever made.

(41:50):
So I think that's something I'mtrying to be a little bit more
cognizant of.
But I did it as a way to kindof say hey, whatever you come to
me with, I'm not going to besurprised.
Chances are I did it, I justdidn't get caught, or I know
someone that did it.
Chances are I did it, I justdidn't get caught, or I know
someone that did it.
I want you to come and ask methose questions, because the

(42:17):
people that you're surroundingyourself with do not have the
life experience that I do.
But I think that I went a littletoo far in some cases, just
kind of sharing bad decisionsthat I made.
They're funny now, but I thinkthat's kind of the big thing.
And the other thing too is thatI am I'm very particular about,

(42:38):
uh, presentation and fashionand all this other kind of stuff
.
You know, every time mydaughter comes, I take her
shopping and, um, you know,whenever she comes here I'm like
I bought you all those clothes.
Why are you wearing those?
What is it?
Sometimes I think I need to bea little bit more conscientious
because I don't want for her tothink that that's a reflection
on her.
It's just more of you havenicer things.
Why are you wearing somethingthat you should just be wearing

(43:00):
around the house?
But also, I've learned to justkind of respect that she has a
different style than I do andthat's okay.

Speaker 1 (43:07):
Yeah, yeah, I wish I had fashion.
I am so comfortable in jeansand a t-shirt and my wife's like
that shirt's like so old I'mlike, but it's so comfortable.

Speaker 2 (43:21):
Right, why would I change it?
It?

Speaker 1 (43:24):
doesn't stink.
I'm not my hygiene's good, it'sjust the shirt's old.

Speaker 2 (43:28):
And I'm super comfortable.
And it's funny, it's not justyou know my daughter, but like
you know, friends of mine, evensomeone I know from the industry
, put on a conference last weekit was her first conference and
the weekend before, you know,she's like I don't know what I'm
going to wear.
So I was, you know, helping herfind stuff to wear and I was
like no, don't wear those shoeswithout clashes here.

(43:51):
And then, you know, there'slike all this back and forth and
then, you know, there was thislittle lull and I said, oh, my
God, I'm so gay, you know.
I said you know what in theworld, you know why am I telling
you how to do all this?
But you know, my, my, mydaughter and I have a rule, even
though she doesn't follow it alot, Um, but if somebody else is

(44:11):
in the car with her, I need toknow, because you know how she
and I talk to each other.
Sometimes, you know, kind oftake people aback, um, just
because we're, we're real, youknow, like there there's not
this cordial thing, uh, butsometimes she'll set me up and
and like hit on a nerve ofsomething that she knows I'm

(44:32):
going to say something and thenyou know, I'll hear everybody in
the car laugh and I go, cecilia, she goes, I know, but I knew
that you were going to saysomething like that.
My friends don't believe thatyou say stuff like that.
I'm like well, I do, and thankyou for everybody.
Getting a laugh at your father'sexpense.
I appreciate that.

Speaker 1 (44:48):
But it makes me laugh though.
A little humility, which isgood.
I mean good for you, and thefact that your daughter calls
you still oh yeah, that's great.
I think that story is fantastic, maybe for a dad at home who
got married is in a same-sexmarriage.

(45:09):
That's raising a daughter.
What are some challenges thatmaybe you've gone through or
some successes that might speakto them?
That might help someone just bea successful and best dad that
he could be.

Speaker 2 (45:25):
It really is.
I was lucky my daughter wasvery open-minded.
I mean, whenever I came out toher she's like no, no, no, I'm
like duh.
I guess I struggled because Idon't even think it has anything

(45:46):
as much to do and it might justbe because I've been so blessed
with my daughter and how shelooked at this.
It has less to do with same-sexand everything to do about the
environment.
When she comes here, I love thefact that you can kind of feel
her, just kind of like you know,like she can relax, she can

(46:06):
read her books, she can like shecan relax, she can read her
book, she can be on her iPad,she can do whatever she wants to
do.
And she knows that George and Iare going to laugh about
something and probably saysomething we shouldn't say in
front of you know, my daughter,or whatever, and everybody
laughs.
I think it's more about theenvironment, but it you really
have to do it based on the child.
You know, if your child isuncomfortable and this could be

(46:29):
with a new step parent as wellcause I.
There was a story in betweenthere that that I actually got
remarried for seven or eightyears and she had two kids, so I
had three kids at one point, um, but it was creating a safe
environment for my daughter andI think this is the first
relationship where I think shefeels safe.
You know, cause, um, you knowI'm I'm also blessed cause I

(46:50):
have an amazing husband who isincredibly interested, super
protective of my daughter.
Um funny story there was onenight, you know, you get the
call at two o'clock in themorning and immediately, as a
parent, your brain goes to worstcase scenario, and especially
whenever you hear your daughtercrying and I'm like baby, what,
what, what's wrong?
You know, um, are you okay?

(47:12):
And um, george got up, wasgoing to the bathroom and she's
like dad.
I said have you been in anaccident?
Like, are you okay physically?
She goes yeah, just somebody.
She had an argument orsomething with her group of
friends.
I said, okay, sweetheart, Ilove you, but lead with that
next time.
And I see the bathroom light,come on and George is dressed

(47:35):
and I just said, ceiling, hangon a second.
I said, george, where are yougoing?
He goes, well, she's crying.
And I figured that we he wokefrom a dead sleep, brushed his
teeth, got ready and was readyto go Like didn't know details
or anything.
I mean he was like ride or die.
And I think you know and I toldCelie that story later on and I

(47:55):
think that the more that bothparental units can show that
child you're safe, safe, you'reloved, you're respected that
says more than any kind of tipsor tricks or little cliches.
If you put all your effort intothat, everything else falls by

(48:16):
the wayside.
No, I'm very blessed I have anamazing daughter, I have an
amazing husband.
Um, I love when all of us aretogether and, um, you know, we
just kind of have our own littleroutines.
Like my daughter loves to cook,I love to cook, and George,
just sometimes he's just funnyand he doesn't even know that

(48:37):
he's funny.
And you know, my daughter and Iget tickled.
But then also too, they havelittle jokes about me, but I
still don't know what they are.
But, like, every once in awhile I'll do something and
they'll look at each other andthey'll laugh.
I'm like what's this, you know?
But I love that, I love thatthey have their own little
relationship.
So I think the more you cannurture that, the better
everything's going to be foreveryone.

Speaker 1 (48:57):
Yep, no well, said, um, okay, if you were, you did a
great job.
Summarize that I was going toask you to some.
Maybe I'll do it again, just inin simplistic ways.
If you just kind of summarizewhat we've talked about today,
trent, that dads or moms oranybody really can take from our
conversation and to to be thatbetter leader of their home,
leader of their team, latertheir company leader, their
friend group, um, you know twoor three actionable pieces of

(49:29):
advice or nuggets of wisdom.
Tell me what comes to mind.

Speaker 2 (49:33):
Lead people to where they need to be, but don't judge
them for where they are.
I think so many people say,well, you should be here, and
their judgment comes out inbehaviors or words or actions
that prohibit that personactually reaching where you
think that they should go.
So for my daughter, I know thatshe's smart, I know that she's

(49:55):
driven and I know that she hasthese goals.
So I'm going to lead her everyway that I can.
Part of it she's going toactually have to do, but I'm not
going to judge her for notbeing able to make $150,000
right now.
That's stupid, it'scounterintuitive and a lot of
people listening may go well,that's a stupid example.
But if I think she should be ata certain level or have learned

(50:18):
a certain life lesson and shehasn't, it's the same concept.
I'm not going to judge her.
It just means that I need tospend more time teaching.
So lead where you want them tobe, but don't judge them for
where they are.
For either parent, man, woman,two men, two women, whatever in

(50:39):
between your child to choosesides, that is immature, it is
parental malpractice and it'sjust disgusting.
Your child doesn't need to dothat.
That's not their role.
Your job is to develop them.
They have enough going on intheir life now.

(50:59):
I mean, we had enough growingup.
We thought we did At least allthe bullying and stuff that I
had at school.
I could leave at schoolwhenever I was growing up.
They can't get away from it,you know.
Don't add insult to injury bybringing your drama and
everything on top of them aswell and then play the long game
.
You know.
Set a goal.
This is something that I liketo do whenever I'm doing any

(51:22):
kind of change managementcoaching or stuff with companies
.
Always get the leadership rightat press release for a year
from now, assuming that you hitthis goal.
What was the goal?
How did you get there?
What were the lessons that youlearned?
And then put a date on it.
And it's really interestingbecause then that becomes the
North Star when we're goingthrough that change management

(51:43):
process.
Are we going to hit that pressrelease?
If not, do we need to changethe press release or do we need
to change our tactics?
And I think parenting is thesame thing.
How do you define success inraising a child?
And then let that be your Northstar and let that be the lens
of every decision that you make.
It goes through that lens.

Speaker 1 (52:03):
Love it.
Man.
Well said it's yeah, I have agood, a good buddy, he always a
good buddy.
Yeah, we say, hey, what'swhat's your end game like,
what's the goal?
And I think it's so how youarticulate that trend's really
really good.
Because sometimes I think I seeparents, we, we, we put our,
our goals, our expectations onwhere we think they should be,
to your point about judgment,but it's like is their life,
like they're not going to dowhat you want them to do?
Let them do what they want todo and then just support them so

(52:25):
they're going to be a muchhappier version of themselves,
versus like, no, you're going toplay in the band and you're
going to play football.

Speaker 2 (52:30):
Well, no, I don't want to do that so, and and just
one piece of advice for someonewho's got like a, a toddler or
very impressionable somethingthat I learned, um from a
psychologist or, yeah, counselor, whatever you want to call it.
Um, because I was.
I was very intent wheneverCelie's mother and I split up to
make sure that I held true toraising a good child and I don't

(52:54):
know what the name of the bookwas, something about raising a
reasoning child or somethinglike that.
So from a very young age three,four, five years old everything
she did, I said, okay, was thata good decision or a bad
decision?
Okay, so what kind ofconsequence are you going to get
as a result of that decision?
And you know now, whenever mydaughter's talking, there's

(53:16):
certain things that like kind ofcome out and I go okay, she
listened, you know, um, I did myjob, I did what I was supposed
to do.
So teach them kind of like thatflow chart and help them
understand what the consequencesare at a young age.
It's going to make it so mucheasier in life and you're giving
them guardrails.
That voice is always going tobe in their head.
What's going to be theconsequence I get?

(53:38):
Because it's going to determinewhether this is a good decision
or a bad decision.

Speaker 1 (53:42):
Love it.
Okay, if people have no ideawhat Hworks ai is, they're like
what is this like?
Tell us about um, whathatchworks ai does.
Tell us about what you do, andhow can people connect and learn
more about the work you guysare doing awesome, um yeah.

Speaker 2 (54:00):
So hatchworks ai, we are a um wonderful company that
is comprised of uh employees inUS, also employees in Latin
America.
We are your AI developmentpartner, so we kind of help you
from discovery to deployment andour goal is to bring the age of
AI and kind of that human AIintegration for all.

(54:24):
We really are passionate aboutthe democratization of
information, of abilities andeverything that AI has been able
to bring to the age of humanity, and we're just partnering with
companies to be able to bringthat to reality.
So I am the Vice President ofTalent and Culture.
I always tell people I have thefun part of HR.

(54:44):
I've got a wonderful counterpart, kathleen, who is director of
people operations.
She handles payroll, benefits,facilities, all kinds of things.
There's things that she doesthat I tell her all the time.
It's like God forbid ifanything ever happened to you.
I don't know half the stuffthat you do because she just
does it.
She's just amazing like that.
So we work very closelytogether in helping our leaders

(55:07):
and our team members to justkind of be the best self.
And the other cool thing aboutHatchworks is that we actually
have a philanthropic arm calledHatch Futures and our mission
there is to break the cycle ofpoverty by exposing youth to
STEM and now AI, and so, ifyou're familiar with junior

(55:29):
achievement, we kind of functionthe same way.
But what we're doing is our goalis to train a thousand
educators by 2030 in AI.
So we have got a program thatwe can do virtually, we can do
in person, where we basicallytrain teachers on how they can
leverage AI in their job, andthen we have course content that

(55:49):
they can actually go and teachtheir students.
So it's everything from, ofcourse, prompting but, more
importantly, like, how do you dolearning plans?
So, let's say, I'm a junior inhigh school and I really think
data scientist sounds like acool thing.
Well, guess what?
Google gemini has a, a learningdevelopment gem that will
create a course outline for you.

(56:10):
So we want to.
We want to enable the youthboth in the united states and in
latin america to really embraceai and to just go for whatever
future they can dream of that'sawesome.

Speaker 1 (56:23):
That's so important.
I'm going to make sure allthat's linked in the show notes
so people can connect and findyou guys.
And I love the philanthropicarm.
I love giving back If you're ina spot to do so.
Giving back is so rewardingbecause you're helping make the
world a better spot and teachingothers that when they're in a
spot to give back, they're goingto do the same thing.

Speaker 2 (56:47):
And it's like this constant.
I call that kind of a boomerangmindset, but you don't keep
score, you're just alwaysserving others.
Yeah, our CEO, this is at hisvery core, and I joke around and
say that he holds me moreaccountable on Hatch Futures
than he does on Hatchworks.
He's always like where are weon this, where are we on that,
where are we on this?
So I love that passion and it'skind of just part of our
corporate DNA.
So it's why I call Hatchworkshome.

Speaker 1 (57:07):
So good, all right.
Well, now it's time to go onwhat I call the lightning round.
This is where I show you theeffects of taking too many hits
not bong hits, but football hitsin college.
Your job is to answer thesequestions as quickly as you can,
and my job is to try to makeyou laugh.

Speaker 2 (57:24):
All right, go for it.

Speaker 1 (57:26):
All right, um, true or false?
Before joining a hatchworks,you were almost about to become
a hell's angel.

Speaker 2 (57:33):
False.
I don't even know what.
I guess I'm random.

Speaker 1 (57:35):
Here we go Um your favorite comedy movie ever is.

Speaker 2 (57:41):
Ooh Christmas vacation.
So good and dumb and dumber,dumb and Dumber, dumb and Dumber
.
There's so many quotes in there.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (57:54):
True or false.
My friends told me, casey, youwould not be funny if it was not
for 80s movies.

Speaker 2 (58:00):
True.

Speaker 1 (58:01):
That is true.
I quote 80s movies a lot If youwere to go on vacation right
now, where are you?
Where are you and your husbandgoing alone?

Speaker 2 (58:11):
Somewhere where it's an Island and all I have to do
is sit on the beach and flip alittle flag for someone to bring
me food or drink.

Speaker 1 (58:17):
Sounds fantastic.
Um, if I went, if, if yourcompany and your coworkers went
into your phone, what genre ofmusic would they be surprised
you listen to?

Speaker 2 (58:29):
I listen to rave music on SoundCloud.
There you go, Because I'm amusician, so people can listen
to different music and stuffwhile they're working out.
I have almost killed myself ona treadmill because a song went
from a 4-4 time to a 6-8 time,because a song went from a 4-4
time to a 6-8 time, and my bodyis just so.

(58:51):
I listen to like gosh Pacheco,I listen to like Medina, I
listen to all of these kind ofthings, but they blend the music
together and so it's kind ofthe same beat, so I don't lose
my groove while I'm at the gym.

Speaker 1 (59:07):
There we go.
Um, if I came to the house fordinner tonight, what would we
have?

Speaker 2 (59:13):
Oh, wow, um, probably probably some type of steak, a
vegetable and rice.
Uh, both my husband and I liketo eat very healthy and clean,
so it's usually some version ofa protein rice or potato and a
green vegetable.
So we're very exciting that way.

Speaker 1 (59:33):
Sounds delicious.
If there was to be a bookwritten about your life, tell me
the title.

Speaker 2 (59:39):
Something's Not Like the Other.

Speaker 1 (59:41):
There we go.
Okay, now, trent, something'sNot Like the Other.
The title is selling out inevery bookstore.
Amazon can't keep it, barnes,noble can't keep it.
Every airport I've been tryingto get copy.
I'm flying all over the place,I can't keep it.
So Hollywood found out aboutthis.
They're going to make a movie.
You are now the castingdirector and I need to know who
is going to star Trent Cotton inthis fantastic new hit movie on

(01:00:03):
Netflix.

Speaker 2 (01:00:05):
Ooh, um, probably Ryan Reynolds because, um, if
you were to hear me talk at work, I talk a lot like Deadpool, so
probably very easy con.
Uh, um, character associationthere.

Speaker 1 (01:00:21):
Love it.
Um, fun fact actually.
I just interviewed a guyrecently.
He looks just like RyanReynolds.
I'm like, oh really, actually Ijust interviewed a guy recently
.
He looks just like RyanReynolds.
I'm like, oh really, oh, it'stripped me out, it's crazy.
Um, okay, and then lastquestion tell me two words that
would describe Sealy driven andcompassionate.
Here we go Lightning rounds over.
Uh, I was random, as usual, yougive it a little bit.

(01:00:42):
Um, I'm thinking I'm gonna givea nod to you because I think it
was just I got to give all ofhis up, let my guests win.
But it was a blast getting toknow you.
I appreciate you sharing yourstory.
Um, I I have so much wisdom youdropped today and I and I'm
confident that someone willlisten to this.
Come, we'll see it on, whetherit's on YouTube or Spotify or
Apple.
And I just appreciate yousharing it and hopefully people

(01:01:06):
can learn more about Hatchworks.
If you want to learn more abouttheir company, please follow
the links in the show notesbelow and I just want to say
thanks to all.
Everybody continues to listen,appreciate the community of dads
we're building.
We're trying to build betterleaders over the home.
The three superpowers thatdrive my life are humility,
vulnerability and curiosity.
I'm working on these skills allthe time, but I feel like
they're life superpowers thatcreates more safer environments,

(01:01:28):
creates more healthyenvironments, whether it's work
or home.
So if you've not taken time toleave us a review wherever you
consume your podcast, please dothat as well.
But with that said, trent,thank you for spending time with
us and on this February.
This episode will come out heresoon, but hopefully our paths
will cross and we can meet inperson one day.
It'd be fun.

Speaker 2 (01:01:47):
Love to do that.
Thank you so much.
I really enjoyed it.

Speaker 1 (01:01:49):
You bet.