September 19, 2024 • 63 mins
I recorded this over a month ago, and just now realized I never uploaded it. Oops. Sorry, Riv.
Anywho, Riv and I act weird for an hour. Enjoy.
Executive Producer and Host: Vanessa Joy: https://linktr.ee/vanesstradiol
Vanesstradiol Podcast - Copyright © 2023-2025 Vanessa Joy
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Vanessa (00:00):
Recording I turned off the time, nice. Okay, that's a
great way to start this. Fuckyeah. Oh, reminds me of another
podcast comedian I used tofollow. Her name's Christina
walkenshaw. I don't I haven'theard from her in a while, but
(00:20):
like she was a pro burber, andit was one of her things. Yeah,
I think her podcast was calledchilling off, which, you know,
River (00:32):
I may have heard of it, yeah, I think I may have heard
of that.
Vanessa (00:35):
Yeah. I mean, it's something I do frequently. So
did I say that loud shit,
River (00:42):
oh shit,
Vanessa (00:43):
yeah, fuck it. Who cares? Not, like anyone watches
or listens to the show anyways,so I swear, like I have some big
guests coming up, and like we'rerecording this on this 18th but
it's probably not gonna actuallycome out for three weeks,
because on Tuesday, I'minterviewing two Ohio Statehouse
(01:05):
reps, and on Thursday, I haveLandon Reed and the Castleman,
two big Gen Z, leftist people.
Landon's been on before, butnever had the Castleman, so I'm
gonna have them on together, andI'm also working on chasing oz.
So this little what I get. We'regetting like 50 downloads per
(01:27):
episode right now. Yet I'mstarting to get some big names.
I don't understand how that'sworking, but so I don't even
know where I was going withthat. ADHD, anyways, this is
transcending humanity. I don'tknow what episode this is going
to be, the views and opinions ofus, our own and not well. I
mean, I'm my own fuckingemployer, but riv, you probably
(01:50):
don't want to get in trouble. Sojoined this week by riv, and
we're actually doing a transepisode for a change, which it's
been hot minute. So riv,introduce yourself. I know.
River (02:05):
Hi. I am riv, short for river, and I am a co host of the
transpotting podcast. I also ama metal musician. That was
really stupid, and I'm sorry Idid it. Barry the river is the
artist name. Go check out sometrans metal and streaming
(02:27):
everywhere that stream stuff.
And on Bandcamp you can buystuff, which is great. So buy
stuff, yeah, it goes right tothe artist. It's awesome,
especially on Bandcamp Fridays.
Okay, okay, thanks. Okay,
Vanessa (02:41):
so go to band camp on Fridays, which I don't have band
camp, maybe I should. I'm justlazy
River (02:45):
Friday, but they do. If you join band camp as like a
member, they will email you andtell you, hey, it's band camp
Friday. And then you can go,Cool. I'll go buy Barry the
river music. Then, because Iknow that 100% of my purchases,
of my money I give to band campwill go to the artist and not
have any of the royalty shithappen where they can, you like,
Vanessa (03:07):
can you explain to the four people listening to this,
what Bandcamp is? No, no, okay,I've never heard like, I've
heard the name, but just a musicdownload where you can support,
River (03:21):
it's, it's, you know, think of SoundCloud, but you can
actually buy stuff. Yeah,
Vanessa (03:27):
we have stuff is great to drive to as well. Like, it's
good too. This is stuff I'velistened to. Has been, have you
started singing in it? Yeah,it's been a minute since I've
been on there, but I've,
River (03:37):
I started recording. I've been between the microphones. I
don't have very good microphonesright now, and I thought I had a
pretty good one, but I think theone I'm using on this podcast
might be a good contender, butI've been trying to really get
that recording stuff dialed insome perfectionist before I
(03:59):
release it. But yeah, I'll bedoing some screen vocals and
clean vocals and surprise myselfat how my FEM vocals sound. So
Vanessa (04:10):
that's that's exciting.
That's a big thing too. Like thegirl who does your trans
spotting intro, I rememberlistening to her on one of the
episodes. No, not Marcia. Thethe intro music,
River (04:29):
oh, the music, yeah.
Vanessa (04:30):
What's her name?
River (04:31):
Yeah? Robin Shakedown, yes, yeah, yeah. Robin.
Vanessa (04:35):
Like, it's hard enough to talk in a femme voice like
Riv and I have both done a lotof work. I cheated with surgery,
but and because you have to workon all sorts of inflections and
stuff, and you have to thinkabout it constantly. And if
you're neurodivergent like weare, it's even harder, because
your brain sometimes, like, Iget a performance thing, like
(04:56):
when I'm just home alone, liketalking to my dog. Like, I have
the most perfect femme voice inthe world. And here we go. It's
starting to come out. I likethis. But once I'm like, out in
the wild, all fucking bets areoff. I just sound like this. I'm
like, Oh man, I can't getanything out. So do you run into
(05:17):
that at all? You know? I
River (05:22):
It depends, right? Really depends. I think that being
neurodivergent plays into thechanges in my voice throughout
the day. I think that howstuffed up my noses with
allergies in the summertimechanges that, but also how much
I actually give a shit that dayI am. I'm a non binary woman, so
(05:45):
sometimes I really I'm cool withsounding kind of androgynous and
just kind of having a reallymonotone voice. And that's
possible part of beingneurodivergent. Sometimes it's
like, Oh, I'm just gonna giveyou information, and I'm a knot
in the stone. But also when myvoice is a little bit on the
Andro side, I've noticed thatmen the when I'm dealing with
(06:09):
them in a say, work, I work intech, when I'm and I'm a leader
at my my company, that they tendto listen more and they tend to
respect me more. So I've had alot of success of just not
thinking too hard about it andjust kind of focusing on
projecting confidence, which isliterally something that you
(06:31):
just, you just pretend to have,and that means that you have it.
I've learned and it's notsomething I have constantly.
It's only something I have whenI'm pretending to have it, which
is what I'm talking to men inthe tech environment. Because
it's hard as a woman to dealwith that bullshit. Yeah? So
(06:51):
long winded way of saying,sometimes I care, sometimes I
put effort into it. It dependson my comfort level, and what
I'm feeling like doing that day,it's hard, and yeah, I can,
like,
Vanessa (07:07):
I purposely don't talk on the phone. My voicemail says,
Hi, this is Vanessa. Send me atext. So I couldn't imagine
that, like having to actuallytalk to guys all the time and
the bullshit misogyny that youhave to deal with. So especially
having us both lived our livesfor decades, masquerading as as
(07:30):
boys, and so we know how theythink, which is a very unique
position to be in. And yeah,where I was going with this with
my little flitty ADHD, was withRobin. Robin can sing in a femme
voice, and it is fucking mindblowing, because it is so hard
(07:53):
just to talk in it. Andswitching to a singing voice is
amazing. And the fact thatyou're starting to get on that
like that's, that's fucking bad.
Yes,
River (08:05):
I've been doing it for a while. It's just the
perfectionism, right? And Ithink, I think the biggest
hurdle that I hurdle recentlyI've been trying to get over has
been projection, projectingwhile singing with a feminine
register, and it's less aboutit's less just like speaking.
(08:29):
It's less about pitch. It's moreabout resonance and more about
vocal mass, which I will say,what's really funny is that the
fact that I can still do a verydeep focal like metal screen,
and also a kind of medium tohigher metal screen kind of sort
(08:50):
of in the range of like, ifyou've heard the artist, known
as Daedric, she has a kind of amedium to low range vocal, kind
of kind of range for her screamthat actually helped me figure
out how to control my vocalcords more to speak and sing,
you name, more of them than men.
So you heard it here first. Kidspractice your metal screams, and
(09:14):
you'll be sounding like this inno time.
Vanessa (09:19):
I mean, it makes sense too, because you're you're
giving your that my the hardestpart I have just talking
normally is projection, likepulling up to at a drive through
speaker, like almost all thetime, people are like, What, I
can't hear you. And I'm like, Ithought I was talking loud, but
maybe I'm just used to having amicrophone in front of me or
(09:41):
something. But, yeah, projectionis, it's a big thing.
River (09:46):
Takes time, takes time in practice. It does, it
Vanessa (09:49):
does definitely. So, oh, I forgot to mention Patreon.
You can support our show onPatreon, if you'd like, I would
really like that. Yeah, do. Andsupport Riv as well on Patreon,
transplanting to support all allthe Patreons. Or probably even
better yet, just as as she said,download her, build her,
(10:09):
building her music and the stuffthat you pay for and the show,
pretty much, I would say, 20% ofmy show is just me trying to get
money out of people. And itdoesn't work, but I guess it
makes me feel better aboutmyself. So it's just you loan
sharking the entire time. Iknow, right? So anyways, right
(10:33):
back. My dog's like, coming upand say hi, so I asked Riv to be
on this week, and hopefully,like we'll see Rayvon more often
too, whenever she wants, becausesometimes it's kind of nice to
have a co host and not doeverything myself. But anyways,
(10:55):
I was scrolling through some oldphotos on my computer, and I
came across some dick pics thatI that were still somehow in
there from like my eye photosfrom way back when, which I had
sent consensually. I whenever Isent those in the past, they're
(11:18):
always at the request of theother party. I need to make that
very clear,
River (11:24):
don't cancel Vanessa.
Vanessa (11:26):
I know, I mean, I'm already canceled, but it blew my
fucking mind, because it lookedso foreign, like completely
different. I At first, I didn'trealize that it was me, and then
I'm like, Well, why else wouldthese be on my phone, or not
(11:50):
even on my phone anymore, buriedin there. So I sent Riva
message. I'm like, it wasn't thedick pic, I promise. No, I did
not send a dick pic. Thank you.
I send it to my girlfriendsbecause they curious see what it
was like, and they both prefermy pussy, and so do I. But
Unknown (12:13):
I like,
Vanessa (12:16):
where did my brain go?
It just died. It does this allthe time. Oh, and it felt
foreign. Yes, foreign. Thankyou. So I asked riv, like, not
regarding, like, dick pics andstuff in the past, but we've
both been transitioning a fairamount of time. Riv, you're at
about four years, right, and I'mclosing in on three. And so our
(12:37):
past selves are it's not sofresh in our minds anymore. And
I don't know about you, but likemost of the people I know now,
never knew me as Jeremy, my dad.
You don't have to reveal yours.
I was just doing it for thecontext. And now almost everyone
(12:58):
I talk with his only Arino me AsVanessa, so the old me is just
like it's faded into absoluteoblivion. But it's kind of weird
when you see pics of yourself orhear your voice from the past,
what does that do to your brain?
River (13:25):
It feels like someone's walking over my grave where like
it's it's so strange because Iso here's one example I I used
to do. I tried doing streamingfor a little bit when I was pre
transition and I was playinglike destiny. I was not very
good at video games, but I did apretty funny commentary. I would
(13:47):
think I always been a little bitwitty, and yeah, that I've
always had a very like a radioannouncer voice. I worked in
call centers. People thought Iwas a robot when I pick up the
phone at the Apple Care callcenter back in the day. So I was
like, at least this is myadvantage. I will start to
stream, and I will docommentary, because I suck at
(14:08):
games, and I'll just make itfunny. And it didn't really go
anywhere. I didn't really try tomake it go anywhere, but I did.
I did happen upon clips of thatthe other day, and it was even
just early transition before myvoice was kind of a comfy spot
where it is right now. It wasstill evolving, and I just Oh,
(14:33):
nails on a chalkboard, feeling,you know, that
Vanessa (14:36):
doesn't fringe is powerful. The fuck is that?
Yeah,
River (14:41):
and like, same thing with with seeing um photos of myself,
especially ones that were umolder than my, my eight crack
day like, I've seen my eightcrack day one. You know, it's
the one we usually share withpeople where it's like, yeah,
this is me before and after.
And, you know, I had a scraggly.
Beer he had my hair was like,you'd be like, down to here, but
(15:04):
it was, it was salt and pepper alittle bit, because I would just
started going gray from thetrauma I've been through in my
life. My sister had the samething happen to her, and I was
like, dark brown with some somesalt and pepper in there, and
just the saddest motherfuckeryou've ever seen in your life.
But when you look back further,when I was really trying, like,
(15:28):
leaning into being masculine, Iwas a Dorito chip, like I was,
like, I worked out a lot, andthat was in response to, like, I
said some some trauma stuff, butalso really trying to fit that
mask on of literally, maskmasks, yeah, and it just didn't
(15:51):
feel right. I was like, Who isthis Captain America wannabe?
And here I am trying to go theother direction. And, like, I
skipped leg day constantly, so Iwas a Dorito chip. Now I'm
trying to even it back outagain. So now I'm, now I'm in my
home gym three times a week tryand try and do leg day, butt
(16:13):
day. It's fun to keep up withit's really hard. Yeah, and, and
what they don't tell you is thatwhen you're you're letting your
muscles atrophy. They don't tellyou that when they atrophy,
muscles just turn to fat, right?
That's what happens to muscle.
And so it's difficult to startto see the changes, because
(16:40):
you're like, Oh, well, the massis still there. Oh, I see what's
happening. Then you have tostart to think about like, if I
do I want to tone my body. Do Iwant to, like, do anything? It's
very delicate dance. Of like, ifyou're trying to control the way
that your body moves and behavesand and looks while you're
(17:01):
transitioning from one extremeto the other, or even if you're
not medically transitioning,you're just focusing on, like,
trying to change how your bodylooks that way it's it takes a
lot of a lot of balance in termsof cardio and weightlifting and
all that stuff. But long story,very long story. Short it, it is
(17:24):
weird to see completelydifferent proportions of a
person from the past trying tofit into a very narrow minded
version of what I was toldmasculine masculinity was,
Vanessa (17:42):
yeah, we, we definitely, like it was our,
most of our lives, soperformative and exhausting now
that I, at least, when I lookback at it and like I a lot of
trans girls had beards, becauseThat was kind of, kind of the
classic mask, like, well, youknow, I can come off as a boy if
(18:06):
I have this glorious beard. AndI had a glorious beard, but I
also had a habit of ripping thehairs out. So maybe that was,
like, early. There's so manyearly signs. There really are.
But I, uh, yeah, I one commonthing, like with earlier in
transition, is timeline videosand stuff like that. And there
(18:31):
seems to be a point, I don'tknow where it is, I would say
around the two year mark, wheremaybe it's as our puberty, our
second puberty, starts fadingaway, where the appeal of that
stuff starts, for me, at least,starts going away. If you had
that as well,
River (18:50):
I have. I definitely was tracking on Instagram, my
progression through transition,like monthly for the first
couple of years. I don't know ifit's necessarily for me, the
(19:10):
second puberty kind of extremeof emotions, or whatever that
means for each or differentperson, kind of falling away,
because I definitely feel likeI'm still going through the
motions. Let me tell you, Istill feel like I'm a 19 year
old and I'm still going throughit. Um, because estrogen powered
(19:31):
puberty last somewhere betweenfive to 10 years. Potentially,
it's powerful. Average of seven.
Yeah, it's pretty powerful. Solike, if you think a 19 year old
girl zone puberty, you werewrong. But I think it came more
from me wanting to let thememory of that person that I
thought I was die and reallyembrace who I am now, and kind
(19:55):
of let that fall away and andnot. Focus as much on the past
and focus more on on living inthe moment, focusing more on
what's going on right now, howI'm feeling right now, honoring
who I am and who I'm becoming,all those things. Now
Vanessa (20:15):
that you put that into words, my brain's like, oh shit.
Oh yeah. That makes sense. Butyou know, that is what I'm
doing. So I thought about this alot. Don't worry, yeah, yeah,
words of wisdom from Riv there,because it is. It's like the
whole transitioning thing isless new now, and we are just
(20:38):
going through the daily emotionsof our lives. And I think a lot
of times in my case, I thinkabout my transness more than
anybody else does. Most of myclients say that when they met
me, they didn't know I was transuntil I told them. And I just
(20:59):
automatically think everybodyclocks me because I can clock a
trans person. Well, trans womana mile away, trans guys are
harder but and so I just thinkeveryone's like that. But I also
realize it's just kind of howI've been trained, and kind of a
self preservation thing as well.
But I have started like, Iwouldn't full mind just moving
(21:24):
away from trans identity andjust embracing lesbianism at
this point. So like, My car hasa sticker on the back, has two
two scissors going like this,with a lesbian flag. And a
couple girls pulled up behind mein a stoplight yesterday, and
like one of them looked, she'slike, and then she poked her
partner, and they both looked,and I waved, and they waved
(21:47):
back, and they were driving aSubaru, so you knew they were
part of the club, but it's, Idon't know if I'm also doing
that more For kind of justsurvival in a red area. Riv
you're lucky enough to live in.
I don't think there's such thingas a good place for trans people
(22:08):
to live, but there's better, youknow, yeah. So, yeah, this was
my brain ran out of things todiscuss on this, because,
River (22:25):
see, I'm not an interrupter, and I feel like I
probably normally with CO hosts,we interrupt each other, like,
and I fizzle out. And I shouldhave probably come in to like,
build on what you're saying.
Vanessa (22:35):
I let Marcia do that. I
River (22:37):
usually don't do that. I usually I like to facilitate,
let people talk amongstthemselves. Yeah, I think
there's something to embracingdifferent parts of our
identities as we focus a lot onthe trans part for a lot of our
a lot of our transition already.
And you know, you hit it fastand hard when you're especially
(22:57):
when you're you're medicallytransitioning, whatever that
means for you, and it's all youthink about for for a while. And
there's reason why people aresaying, like, are you making
your whole identity? It's likeyou don't understand. I've been
a little, had a little Dilbertmoment there with my my choker.
You don't understand. I've been,I've been in, like, having the
(23:19):
wrong representation of myselfthis entire time, and now that
I'm I'll cut loose, and Ifigured out who I am, like, it's
all I'm going to talk about. Andwhen that starts to kind of
fade, I you know, you realize,oh, what other parts of the
community really sit well withme? And I think there is a
(23:39):
really it's really nuanced tothink about, how do we start to
back out of that reallysaturated talk of like, in the
trans community, saying, like,I'm identifying more as a
lesbian now, it's like, cool,you're still trans, and you're
(24:00):
still part of that community,even if you're, even if you're
like, you're kind of stepping,stepping back from that. So I
know, I know some folks who havestarted to started to say, like,
I don't really think myself astrans anymore. I just think
myself as woman and a lesbian.
I'm like, Cool, okay. It's not abad thing to be trans, like not
(24:23):
and I know that probably whereyou're living and and the the
way that society is going, andthe way that all of the you know
shit around the election haskind of been positioning trans
people as, Oh, bad, and thatprobably is leading to people
wanting to distance themselvesfrom their own identities, but
(24:44):
it's one thing to expand youridentity and and embrace
different parts of that, whetherit's lesbian, ace, bisexual,
etc, for me, not accepting morelike I'm non binary. As well as
a trans woman, but it's anotherthing to say, like, Well, I'm
(25:05):
not actually trans because nowI've got a vagina, now I've got
this and I've got that. I'mactually just, I'm good. I'm not
actually trans. I'm just, I'mjust this. That's a dangerous
mindset. That's a very dangerousmindset to kind of get into,
because that a little bit meansthat you're also drinking that
Kool Aid. You got to be careful.
And it's, it's easy to drink theKool Aid, it's hard to not drink
(25:26):
the Kool Aid, difficult, butit's, it's more powerful and
more brave to not drink thatKool Aid.
Vanessa (25:35):
I I still go every day like I try to educate people
too, like people that know thatI'm trans, or if I bring it up,
I don't bring it up in day today conversation anymore, like I
used to. But again, kind oftime's gone on, kind of matured
a little bit there. But it's, Ithink, part of reason the
(25:59):
Conservatives are jumping somuch on the othering us is
because so many people don'thave any idea what it means to
be trans. And the number onething I always tell people is it
is not a choice. We are justflat out born this way. It's no
different from having blue eyes,brown eyes, green eyes,
whatever. And it's just, it'sjust who we are, and the only
(26:24):
choice in the matter is whetheror not to come out, which is sad
and of itself, but it's, youknow, there's, I constantly
reiterate, the people thatthere's no reason to be afraid
of us. All that we want to do isjust live our lives just like
everybody, everybody else. Andthis is just one part of us.
(26:48):
We're all very, very differentpeople. Our commonality in the
trans community is being transor NB or anything under the
umbrella. So have you had anylike, do you work on educating
as well? Or do you not have todo that as much?
River (27:07):
Thankfully, the I did a little bit of educating early
into transition, especially atwork. Oh, it's gonna
thunderstorm again. Apparently,Stoner here, yeah, that's wild.
It's getting dark outside. Mywonderful lighting starting to
(27:29):
fade. So at work, I am a managerof a IT Help Desk team, and
being that I being working in IThelp desk in my particular
company, means you are very mucha person that is well known
(27:54):
across the company. And we havelike 64 retail stores that we
support internally, and so theyall know you, and when that
happens, you really have to makethat decision of, well, do I
pretend that the old me is gone,or do I actually make my
transition public? And I mademine public so people who are
(28:16):
still at the company that havebeen around since that blog post
from four years ago. They, a lotof them that I directly work
with have had to have someeducation, educating moments,
some teaching moments. Andthankfully, those who've met me
(28:39):
in my and current, current yearsreally haven't needed that. They
just kind of, oh yeah, she's,it's her, she's, she's, she's
oral. Look at her. She'slistened to her. She's a girl.
It's not hard, and there hasn'treally been a big need for it.
But thankfully, where I am, it'sreally so people are really
(29:05):
supportive of trans people, atleast within the company I work
for and the state I live in, andspecifically the city I live in,
is a they, we have a we have atrans crosswalk. Downtown, a
trans flag crosswalk. We have afull like original gay pride
(29:30):
flag crosswalk on the other sideof that, of that block, really,
you know when Pride Week hits,it's mostly trans flags that are
up because it was kind offounded, and it's a really big
trans area, so I lucked out towhere I moved to. I didn't know
that moving here. Didn't know Iwas trans when I moved here, so,
Vanessa (29:52):
but there's signs out there. You know,
River (29:55):
there, there were signs there. Yeah, there were
definitely signs literal. Haveflags, but yeah, so not as much
education anymore. Outside ofthe podcast arena, more of if my
coworkers and friends sayssomething untoward, I'm like,
(30:17):
let me just quickly educate youon why saying biological woman
is a is a dog whistle. He'slike, Oh, shit. I didn't think
about that. I was like, Yeah,dude, they're in your brain.
These, these Terps. They'refucking crafty. They are. And
he's like, Oh, he gets so mad.
And like, I know because,because we're, we're besties.
And, you know, he just wants tosupport me.
Vanessa (30:39):
I love having that like there's a local, local realtor
that I've been he's very he'sbeen very curious on how to
actually be an actual ally,rather than a performative ally,
because he knows of a problem Ihave with another local realtor
that I was standing next to her,and the seller taking pictures
(31:05):
early in transition, like Istood out in the fucking crowd
then. And the seller was talkingabout playing a game called
smear the queers
Unknown (31:17):
and like me right there. And
Vanessa (31:21):
this agent who calls herself an ally to the community
and everything was just goingalong with conversation. And I
mean, a true ally has your backeven when you're not in the
room. You're definitely not anally if you don't have someone's
back when they're standing rightfucking next to so I was telling
(31:42):
him about that case, and so hehas been actively educating
himself and ask questions hereand there. Like, on, how should
I approach this? He also, like,looks things up himself, too,
but I told him, he's welcome toask Me for guidance, and he's
been correcting people on thingsand like and not in a mean way,
(32:05):
like gentle ways, because almostall misconceptions of any group
are just baked into us, likeracism is fucking baked into us.
Again, you have to activelyunlearn it So, and that's what
he'd been what he's been doing.
And I said, that that is thesign of a actual ally, not a
performative ally. And one thingI explained to him early on is
(32:26):
the title ally is not a titlethat you give yourself. It is a
title that whatever communityyou want to be an ally to gives
to you, and it can be takenaway. So, so it's I like being
able to educate people wheneverI can. And I would say most
(32:48):
people are educatable. There arethose out there the if someone's
flying a trim flag on theirtruck and I bother but there's a
lot of that here. Don't
River (33:03):
you worry,
Vanessa (33:04):
you don't have that here. No, we
River (33:06):
definitely have that here. Yeah, I live in the
country ish area. Trump flagsabounds.
Vanessa (33:16):
Oh, I heard that one Diane, to quote
River (33:20):
ash, my partner, who is texting right now all caps,
floor blesses us on the stairs.
Vanessa (33:29):
Ash, Ash, I love your words. I love your words. I am
an absolute weather nerd. One ofmy partners, Jenny, and I like
we want to start our own tornadochasing thing. I I forget what
we're gonna call it, but like weboth love tornadoes. She lives
in Oklahoma, so she gets morethan I do. Being in Ohio, I
(33:50):
still get quite a few.
River (33:52):
I've got a pitch for you what you could call it, yes,
titty twisters. Yeah, hire mefor for all of your all of your
logo needs, all of yourcatchphrase needs, I got you
covered like a bunny.
Vanessa (34:13):
That is amazing. Just popped in there. I think what I
came up with was like derechodykes or something like that
with titty twisters, it's somuch better. Oh, I can't wait to
tell her that. Oh, but yeah. Sowhenever I hear like thunder and
stuff like that, it gets me wet.
Trans girls don't really get wetthat much, but it still gets me
(34:35):
wet and riffs like, oh, speakfor yourself, bitch. So nothing.
Eyebrows, fatal. Only thing Idon't like about thunderstorms
is they freak my dog the fuckout so but, like, I've always
been the girl that whenever abig storm comes in, I just stand
(34:57):
there and like, watch it come.
And tornado chasing just excitesme. Yeah. Anyways, I brought
that up because I have a an appon my phone called radar omega,
and it's awesome and like, ittells you, like, where all the
(35:21):
tornado warnings are in thecountry, like they're currently
four, and they are all in Canadacurrently. So, yeah, you don't
have a tornado warning, but Ijust love weather nerding.
That's good. Yeah. Anyways, Idon't know where I was going
with that, so
River (35:43):
now I'm just watching the rain through my wonderful, huge
windows on three sides of me.
Vanessa (35:52):
So relaxing. It's really relaxing. Yeah, the
pitter patter. It was pouringhere earlier, like, I took my
dog for a walk, and then we gothome, and like, five minutes
later, this guy opened up, and,like, up. I'm like, Gabby, I'm
glad we went when we were dead.
So, like, yeah, a walk with meis, like, to the end of the
street and back, because Ismoke, and walking starts.
River (36:15):
Oh, we had, it was a, it was like, raining sideways last
night, and it was probably thebiggest thunderstorm we've ever
had in I've ever had seen myselfin the piece in the Pacific
Northwest. And my our dog doesnot care at all about fireworks
or thunder, thankfully, like ourprevious dog was like, chewed up
(36:37):
heart attack. Basically, currentdog does. Could not give a fuck
about like, what was happening.
Okay, I'm going back to bed. I'mvery thankful. However, one of
our four cats, yes, we have fourcats living the lesbian dream.
Vanessa (36:55):
I mean, you're lesbians.
River (36:56):
I you know my partner's non binary. We still identify as
lesbians. It's great. And ourcat, Bjorn, is part Bengal, and
he is very ferocious boy. He'salso a very sweet boy, and he
(37:17):
was the only cat that got scaredenough to run and hide under our
bed last night, and even ourlittle our little dipshit cat
who looks like a chibicharacter, who is part Munchkin,
and there's nothing going onthat brain of his, he wasn't
scared at all, like he was justChilling. Yeah, he'd be the
(37:41):
first one to run. But no, hedidn't care. So he's
Unknown (37:44):
like, this is my wife.
River (37:46):
You never maybe, like,
Vanessa (37:48):
I've been watching the weather more, and you're getting
a lot more big weather in thatarea than in years past. And
like, tornado alley over hereused to be mainly like Oklahoma,
in Kansas and stuff like that.
And it is shifted, shifted eastto where Ohio gets a lot of
them. And then there's a new onecalled Dixie alley. So climate
(38:11):
change girls, it's a thing,yeah, so
River (38:19):
don't vote for you can change your gender. You can
change your climate Exactly,
Vanessa (38:24):
exactly. Oh, so anything else that you want to
talk trans on our random transepisode,
River (38:32):
random trans Thank you for having me. By the way, I am
really excited for those of youwho also might watch and or
listen to transpodding. Sorry,it's been a while since we've
had an episode. Life's beenmoving pretty hard and fast, and
(38:55):
scheduling was really hard forthe three of us. So we're
working on stuff is going tohappen. I'm hoping maybe to be
here with you, Vanessa, a littlebit more.
Vanessa (39:07):
You're welcome always,
River (39:08):
Vanessa, you're welcome to come and co host transpotting
with me as well.
Vanessa (39:13):
I'd like that.
Actually, that would be fun.
Yeah, Ash is going to be
River (39:17):
on in the near future.
Yeah, yeah. I've got some somefolks from our Discord
community, which is gettingpretty big now. We're like 280
people our Discord. I know I'mpoking some people that I think
would be great co host to, kindof like guest guest co host. I'm
learning from you, girl, thiswhole guest co host thing that
you do, I love. It keeps it,keeps from getting stale, right?
(39:40):
Yeah. And so I've got some ideaspopping in there, but it's taken
some time to do. And I'm a busygirl. I'm doing a lot of stuff
in my life, and, yeah, it's hardto keep up. Anyways, that one's
That one's for anyone who's likethe cross listeners across the
street. So transpotting andtranscending humanity,
(40:01):
transponding humanity will makeit happen,
Vanessa (40:06):
yeah? Spotting humanity. Yeah, no, like, that's
something. Glad you brought thatup because, like, it's the same
with my co set co host I've hadon this show too. Scheduling is
so fucking hard,
River (40:19):
like, from different time zones, yeah.
Vanessa (40:23):
And like Celeste, she's all the way on the East Coast,
isn't she? She's on the EastCoast. Yeah, yeah. So that's
hard when you and Marcia are sofar west. And for me, like Taryn
is San Francisco and Erica is inDC. And Jess is North Carolina.
(40:46):
I believe. Sorry, Jess, ifyou're listening, I'm pretty
sure that's my brain doesn'twork, but so I'm just like, You
know what? I'm just going totake over this show myself. And
if any of the past CO hosts wantto pop on, they're welcome
anytime. So, and sounds kind oflike that might be kind of where
you're going. It makes runningthings a lot easier, especially
since I brought the show back toweekly, and because trying to
(41:09):
schedule weekly is hard, it'svery hard.
River (41:13):
Is really impressive.
It's I'm struggling with monthlyright now, and I'm way beyond
that has been what I
Vanessa (41:22):
wanted to do weekly, because my listenership had
fallen off, fallen off so much,and so now, yeah, I'm focusing
on the guests and guest hostsand what have you. And I think
it's I'm hoping it's working,but it's fun having I'm because
I have no real direction for theshow. So that's kind of the
point of the show. So show hasno direction. The show is what
(41:44):
it is,
River (41:46):
Seinfeld of you.
Vanessa (41:48):
I know, right. Sorry. I
River (41:49):
would never, never insult you with the signs, invoke
Seinfeld on you.
Vanessa (41:56):
Just let me go get a fucking Porsche and, you know,
but trans
River (42:03):
in cars with coffee,
Vanessa (42:06):
we should do that actually, you know? Yeah, that
would be fun.
River (42:10):
Zero Porsches involved.
Vanessa (42:13):
I don't know trans girl who drives a Porsche, honestly,
yeah. I mean, a lot of usprobably drive Subarus. Know
anything of it. And here's meand my little just
River (42:23):
got my my Buick working again, my 2005 Buick I was dead
in the driveway because I lostignition key for two years ago.
I just got it working again.
Finally. Yeah, you like now I'ma car. I never I never knew how
to do anything with cars when Iwas identifying as a dude, but
yeah, now I now I know more thanI would like to about how to
(42:45):
replace batteries and all that,all that good stuff. So I had to
the battery, like, hold downbolt. Thing was rusted. I had a
hacksaw to it, little minihacksaw, and just like, cut the
head of the bolt off to get theold battery out, and then, yeah,
yeah, yeah, just surgery. Justdropped, yeah, you know, it's
(43:08):
just me with a hacksaw door.
Vanessa (43:15):
I mean, that's how, that's what a lot of car car
maintenance is, like, yeah,when, like, I hate working on
cars, I get mad, like, reallymad, and so I don't let myself
do it anymore. But there's beena time where actually pulled an
entire engine on a car. There'salso been times where I fucking
(43:35):
started beating a car with ahammer because I was so mad at
it. So yeah, I don't do my owncard work anymore, but
River (43:42):
I just get stubborn.
Like, you know, like, it's thesame thing with with tech
issues. I takes a lot to make megive up. I get really fucking
stubborn. Yes, I'm gonna find away to fix this, or I'm gonna go
to bed and dream only of thisand then wake up and do it all
over.
Vanessa (44:01):
I mean, is it? Is it our autism that's spiking that
too, you know,
River (44:06):
I probably, but because I'm the same, right? It started
with, started for an it for me,I'm like, I'm gonna figure this
out, and if I don't figure thisout, I'm gonna be so angry.
Vanessa (44:18):
And then people are like, You need to just let it
go. You take a break. And I'mnot taking a fucking break in
and you
River (44:25):
know what? I always figure it out
Vanessa (44:28):
exactly. Always see persistence. Persistence is key.
Anyone do Cards AgainstHumanity? What's that? Do you
want to do Cards AgainstHumanity? Do we do that here?
That's my new thing.
River (44:44):
That's your new thing.
Sure, yeah, let's do it. That's
Vanessa (44:47):
how I've been closing that up. So I'm probably not
going to do it with the two OhioState House reps, especially
since they're running for reelection right now. But
River (44:57):
I mean, it might boost their numbers. It might.
Vanessa (45:00):
I But so, I mean, it doesn't have to be perverted. So
what what we do? It's just theblack cards. Mine usually are
perverted because it's me, butI've had some very good answers
to the things from other people.
So all this is, is I have theblack cards, and then you just
(45:21):
come up with a white cardagainst or yourself, or
whatever. That kind of floatsyour boat. You know, makeup, you
have to make it up. I'm going tomake you get creative. Okay,
River (45:32):
you know you're you're in luck, because I'm good at this.
Vanessa (45:35):
I know, right. So where do you want your card to be sold
from?
River (45:42):
I uh, somewhere in the middle, somewhere
Vanessa (45:44):
in the middle. Okay, how about this card? Let's do
it. Okay, so this is your card.
Look it's so Cardy and I cantake one I know I am going to
show it to you. Like to memorizeyour card over the back of the
deck? Do you want to go first?
So you want to go first? So youwant me
River (46:03):
to go first? I'm gonna, you know, make you go first.
Okay, fine. I don't want thatpressure on me. No,
Vanessa (46:11):
I I almost went there and I didn't. Okay. So says, Hey
guys, I know this was my idea,but I'm having serious doubts
about this. One popped up inanother episode recently.
River (46:31):
Oh, damn this. And then I have to make up the response to
that.
Vanessa (46:36):
It's like Mad Libs.
River (46:39):
That's not that much of a setup, though. Oh, damn.
Vanessa (46:42):
Do another one.
River (46:44):
Let's do another one. I feel like that's that could be
very vanilla. Yeah, I don'twant, I don't want a vanilla
answer. That
Vanessa (46:50):
one was already on the show, um, last week, actually, I
think that was okay. What closeout
River (46:55):
of here?
Vanessa (46:55):
What do you do in Redis and cards? Here's a better one.
MTV is new reality show featureseight washed up celebrities
living with, living with, you're
River (47:14):
going to edit this, right? So that my answer is
immediately after, so it lookslike I'm really smart.
Vanessa (47:19):
I don't edit the show.
I chop off like girl. I do theshow fucking weekly. Do you
think I have time to edit?
River (47:28):
I don't. I don't do video edits for our show either. Oh,
my God, living eight washed upcelebrities. It's
Vanessa (47:39):
like that one show that Caitlyn Jenner in it, oh God,
speaking of watchdog,
Unknown (47:50):
do another thing living
River (47:51):
with. Here's the thing is, it mod is, is the grammar
talking about they are livingwith something as though, let's
workshop this? Are they livingwith something that they all
have to deal with? Or as in,like it is a an idea or like an
(48:12):
issue, or is it another personor like object or something
that's more material? The answerto your question, dark and say
cancer, or it could go and sayVanilla Ice. The answer
Vanessa (48:27):
to your question, river is yes,
River (48:31):
yes, ANDing me, washed up celebrities living with
Vanessa (48:45):
Tom Jones. Tom Jones,
River (48:48):
let's go with Tom Jones.
Vanessa (48:50):
I was gonna say explosive diarrhea. I mean Tom
Jones and his explosivediarrhea, and it's close to
diarrhea. Yeah, I forget whomTom Jones is, isn't it? Wasn't
it? Like a singer, like as asinger, he had the Vegas show
and everything. Yeah, I justruined the joke. Sorry.
River (49:14):
Hey, you know we can do it again. Could try another one?
Vanessa (49:17):
Sure. I'll pull another one for you.
River (49:20):
I'm not as good at this.
I
Vanessa (49:21):
thought, wasn't I supposed to go first, and I made
you go first, didn't I?
River (49:26):
Well, you didn't see, here's where the neurodiversity
comes in. You didn't specify ifyou were going first, then you
were drawing the card first, andthen having me react.
Vanessa (49:36):
I know. Okay, I know that, because this card over
here was one I picked out foryou, and then this one was mine,
and I think we talked about So,okay, you might like this one.
Call that
River (49:51):
ADHD folks, yeah.
Vanessa (49:54):
What would grandma find disturbing, but you find oddly?
Charming.
River (50:01):
Oh grandma, find disturbing Yet oddly charming,
Vanessa (50:06):
oh yeah Yet oddly charming. You.
River (50:28):
A vibrator shaped by Tom Jones,
Vanessa (50:31):
fuck yeah. That is the perfect answer. That is the
absolute only
River (50:35):
answer after the first after the first joke.
Vanessa (50:41):
That's the perfect answer. That's the perfect
answer. Charming.
River (50:44):
Oh, why is he buzzing so much? I sound like Harley Quinn.
They're not a grandma. Sorryabout that.
Vanessa (50:50):
I'm well there. I think in Batman there was actually
like a grandma aged Harley Quinnin it.
River (50:59):
So I didn't watch that far. I love that show.
Vanessa (51:01):
I didn't really watch that far either, but I was
watching a recap on like, it'slike Batman Beyond in 48 minutes
on YouTube, which, you know,good content to absorb while I
met. Any photos, all right? Somine is, oh, there's a sultry
voice. See, sometimes this comesout, and I like that. How am I
(51:25):
maintaining I know, right, sogood. How am I maintaining my
relationship status? There, I'llpump it up a little bit. And for
me, I maintain my relationshipstatus by sending copious
amounts of pictures of my pussyto my girlfriends. And whenever
they're having a bad day, I sendthem those, and it seems to perk
(51:46):
them right back up. Andsometimes I get them in return
too. So yeah, pretty much everyone of my answers has like, if
they've been titties, I thinklast week it was trans girl
Jizz. You know, it's alwayssomething to just switch things
up. But your your face is like,What the fuck did I get into
(52:10):
here? Oh, one
River (52:14):
track mind, and that track is the fucking gutter,
which is funny to know less fromyou. It's
Vanessa (52:21):
funny too, because I'm gray sexual, like, I really
don't think about sex all thatmuch. But something, you know,
some Cards Against Humanityjust, it just brings it out of
me. I suppose I think I need toget
River (52:33):
performing too. This is technically performing, so I
guess break it out and, yeah,we're
Vanessa (52:37):
trying to entertain people. I think it's time for me
to get some more cards againsthumanity, though, because this
is, like, the original fuckingCards Against Humanity. It needs
something that's a little bitmore up to date, because this
game's probably been around forat least 20 years now, I
River (52:50):
would say, Oh, don't say that.
Vanessa (52:52):
I know, right? I mean, don't worry, I'm older than you.
Like, I should have had my 25thhigh school reunion this summer,
but my class were just followingwhatever, and you're old with
me. How
River (53:06):
old are you?
Vanessa (53:07):
I'm 43 I'm 37 so I'm older than you.
River (53:13):
Yeah, you look great, hon. Well, thank
Vanessa (53:16):
you so to you fucking estrogen. Estrogen is amazing. I
swear it takes off at least fiveyears. And I love quizzing
people. Do you ever ask peoplehow old they think you are? It's
fun, because you just blow theirminds.
River (53:31):
I don't actively but I've had those instances with people
that I that when I first meetthem, like at work, if they're a
new person, they're like, whatdo you what do you mean? You're
10 years older than this otherperson? I'm like, Yeah, I'm 37
they're just like, Ah, you'rereally 25 and I'm like, I I'm
like, first of all, women don'tinspire after 32nd of all, thank
(53:54):
you. But yeah, I feel like it'sit the first five years comes
off from the estrogen the nextfive years comes off from being
happy all the damn time that
Vanessa (54:04):
too, that really does have a lot to do with it. Like,
yeah, that's something I've beentalking about. I actually
River (54:10):
care about my skin care routine. Do one now I didn't do
one before. Actually wash myface with what
Vanessa (54:18):
I know, right? And once you start getting everything
like I've been telling mytherapist that now that I got my
hormones back in line and I'm onADHD meds, I'm no longer on the
bipolar meds killing me becauseI wasn't bipolar, and so for
like, the first time in my LifeI haven't had crippling
(54:40):
depression constantly, and it isfucking weird, like, I don't
know how to handle it, like,it's not that it's a bad thing,
but it's just like, I'm notconstantly sitting here wanting
to kill myself, and that's kindof mind blowing, and that does
take age off you as well. Sojust being able to just, it's.
Live your life and not bemiserable all the time. So,
(55:03):
yeah, transitioning, it's quitethe drug. You know, estrogen is
magic for us. Testosterone ismagic for the trans boys. I
don't miss testosterone folks,
River (55:15):
you know. And for some folks, that's not necessary, and
it just means identifying andunderstanding who you are, and
that is more than valid hashtag.
Fuck transmeds. Thank you.
Vanessa (55:28):
Yes, exactly. You do not have to be on any medicine
to be trans. I think I've saidthat before in the show, yeah, I
just like to reinforce it. No,it is good to reinforce, because
society kind of pushes againstthat. And gender identity is
gender identity. And there'sit's such a spectrum anyways.
(55:52):
And I think for some of us, thedysphoria might push us towards
going to the medical route morethan others, and but again, it's
an individual journey. It's theway that I liked doing it. But
you know, everything is valid,so that the number one thing to
keep in mind is don't be a dickand don't
Unknown (56:15):
be a Republican.
Vanessa (56:20):
They go hand in hand.
River (56:22):
Oxymoron,
Vanessa (56:23):
I know. Yeah, truly. So do you have any closing
thoughts?
River (56:31):
Closing thought number one, fiscally conservative is
still conservative. Stop lyingto yourself and stop being a
dick voting for voting for athird party may help with your
moral compass, but does not helppeople that are in danger of
losing their rights. So get atthe fuck it together and vote
(56:53):
for Kamala. Thanks. Exactly.
Vanessa (56:57):
I see those posts all the time. It's like she's well,
her stands out in Israel. Like,I am also against what Israel is
doing in Gaza. I've talked aboutthis on former episodes. Yeah,
100% I'm also against what Hamasdid to Israel. Like, I don't
condone the violence, I don'tcondone the terrorist attacks,
(57:17):
but I also don't condone theresponse to it and punishing
innocence. So but youralternative in this election is
Trump. It's not going to be RFK,it's not going to be Jill.
What's her face? It's going tobe Trump. It's Trump or Kamala.
And one, yeah, you might notnecessarily agree with
(57:39):
everything, and then that's thecase. Maybe run yourself. Start
running for office yourself.
Start making a difference fromthe bottom up, because the most
important parts of the ticketreally do start at the bottom.
Work the work their way up.
River (57:54):
Having a two party system is very shitty. It really is.
Having a binary in gender, is itis should not exist. It is. It
is not the reality in any way,shape or form, however, it is
currently what we are dealingwith, and it has a tail as old
as time. We cannot demolish thatuntil we actually are no longer
(58:16):
having to fight to exist andfight for our right to to bodily
autonomy. So focus on Firstthings first, which is, let's
get people safe. Then we canstart to focus on, how do we
work through totallydisassembling a two party system
that was created by systems ofoppression years and years ago.
(58:41):
How do we demolish that? How dowe start to make something
better? We can't do that. Trustme. I want to fucking do that.
Me too. I want to do that. Wecan't do that until we make sure
that people are safe here. Andwhen we can do that, guess what?
They're going to thrive. We'regoing to have a lot more people
who are actually moreprogressive because they
understand that they get to havethe right to do and they won't
(59:02):
be forced to detransition. Theywon't be forced to make tough
decisions about about birthingall that good stuff and keep
people safe first.
Vanessa (59:15):
They will be enforced to do the work concentration
camps, which is things out herethat we have, yeah, people that
are kind of interested in whatRiv said there. Do you like Jon
Stewart? Yes, me too. So he hasa weekly show podcast, since he
got booted off of Apple foractually, you know, giving a
shit about people, so he wentback to the daily show once a
(59:38):
week. And he also does a podcastcalled the weekly show, and he
had some guests on there, Iwould say, a month, maybe two
months back, and they talkedabout what, what things would
look like with more parties.
There's kind of like a sweetspot you don't want too many,
like in the UK, there's quite afew you want. Like. Four or
(59:58):
five, and that's what they talkabout with this, and it would
also expand the House and theSenate with more seats in order
to accommodate that. It's a veryinteresting listen, and it's
something that I think couldpossibly happen once the fucking
boomers die out, at least. Butit's up to our generation to do
(01:00:20):
that like one of the upcomingepisode is going to have couple
Gen Z years, and we're going tobe talking about it's kind of a
follow up to the episode I did ayear ago with land. And read how
the rest of the country needs tostop counting on Gen Z to save
us, and we need to just fuckingstep up and do it ourselves,
(01:00:41):
especially our generationmillennials. There's a fucking
lot of us so, and we are thenext boomers, whether we like it
or not, and lend even calledthat out, and I agree with them.
We are the next boomers. Gen Z'sthe Next Gen X, really? So, and
then Gen Alpha. I can't wait forthem to come of age. It's gonna
be a lot of fun. Okay, we're atan hour. I guess we should stop.
(01:01:05):
Riv anything else you want to
River (01:01:11):
plug? I already plugged my stuff. I think the beginning
site. I think I'm good. Come ondown to the trans potting
discord. Yes, if you go topatreon.com/trans spotting,
which is going to have 2s in it,by the way, you will be able to
(01:01:32):
not only watch our content. Freesubscribers, you can have access
to everything we already havealready done. Paid subscribers
get early access to newepisodes. I'm sorry we're still
working on making more andadditionally, you joined, and
we've got a little post that hasa link to our public Discord
(01:01:52):
server that is just hoppingright now, and got a lot of
wonderful folks in thatcommunity who are taking care of
each other and connecting andmaking it happen. So,
Vanessa (01:02:10):
yeah, I actually asked something maybe about combining
HP and TSS discords by discord,I don't know how to fucking run
a discord. Yours is fuckinggorgeous. It has all the bots,
it has all the things.
River (01:02:24):
So here is my here's my secret. Is Samara. Samara is our
wonderful mod, and she knows allthe things. I am like a boomer
when it comes to discord. I'mlike, what does this button do?
Oh, that didn't that was not agood thing to press. Samara is
awesome, and she set up our ourDiscord with all the bots, all
(01:02:45):
the channels, all the things,and we do our best to honor
requests to flesh things outmore. So yeah,
Vanessa (01:02:54):
if anyone's on Discord and you're like having fun,
definitely join the train.
Spotting discord, it is a lot offun, so I need to use it more. I
like never use discord anymore.
I have everything fuckingsilenced because I hate
notifications. Anyways, I behammered on. So I forgot to
introduce myself to be in theshow. I'm Vanessa, aka
venustradale, and I'm the chickwho's been posting some
(01:03:17):
partially nude photos lately. Soyeah, go increase my engagement
rate, please. And yeah, we'llsee you next week. I have
honestly no idea when thisepisode's gonna air or what's
gonna come after it, but riv,thank you so much for joining
me. Please come back anytime youwant. And yeah, we'll see well,
(01:03:39):
yeah, I'm just gonna hit thestop recording button because I
just keep hammering.
Unknown (01:03:43):
Okay, okay, bye. Bye.
Recording I turned off the time, nice. Okay, that's a
great way to start this. Fuckyeah. Oh, reminds me of another
podcast comedian I used tofollow. Her name's Christina
walkenshaw. I don't I haven'theard from her in a while, but
(00:20):
like she was a pro burber, andit was one of her things. Yeah,
I think her podcast was calledchilling off, which, you know,
River (00:32):
I may have heard of it, yeah, I think I may have heard
of that.
Vanessa (00:35):
Yeah. I mean, it's something I do frequently. So
did I say that loud shit,
River (00:42):
oh shit,
Vanessa (00:43):
yeah, fuck it. Who cares? Not, like anyone watches
or listens to the show anyways,so I swear, like I have some big
guests coming up, and like we'rerecording this on this 18th but
it's probably not gonna actuallycome out for three weeks,
because on Tuesday, I'minterviewing two Ohio Statehouse
(01:05):
reps, and on Thursday, I haveLandon Reed and the Castleman,
two big Gen Z, leftist people.
Landon's been on before, butnever had the Castleman, so I'm
gonna have them on together, andI'm also working on chasing oz.
So this little what I get. We'regetting like 50 downloads per
(01:27):
episode right now. Yet I'mstarting to get some big names.
I don't understand how that'sworking, but so I don't even
know where I was going withthat. ADHD, anyways, this is
transcending humanity. I don'tknow what episode this is going
to be, the views and opinions ofus, our own and not well. I
mean, I'm my own fuckingemployer, but riv, you probably
(01:50):
don't want to get in trouble. Sojoined this week by riv, and
we're actually doing a transepisode for a change, which it's
been hot minute. So riv,introduce yourself. I know.
River (02:05):
Hi. I am riv, short for river, and I am a co host of the
transpotting podcast. I also ama metal musician. That was
really stupid, and I'm sorry Idid it. Barry the river is the
artist name. Go check out sometrans metal and streaming
(02:27):
everywhere that stream stuff.
And on Bandcamp you can buystuff, which is great. So buy
stuff, yeah, it goes right tothe artist. It's awesome,
especially on Bandcamp Fridays.
Okay, okay, thanks. Okay,
Vanessa (02:41):
so go to band camp on Fridays, which I don't have band
camp, maybe I should. I'm justlazy
River (02:45):
Friday, but they do. If you join band camp as like a
member, they will email you andtell you, hey, it's band camp
Friday. And then you can go,Cool. I'll go buy Barry the
river music. Then, because Iknow that 100% of my purchases,
of my money I give to band campwill go to the artist and not
have any of the royalty shithappen where they can, you like,
Vanessa (03:07):
can you explain to the four people listening to this,
what Bandcamp is? No, no, okay,I've never heard like, I've
heard the name, but just a musicdownload where you can support,
River (03:21):
it's, it's, you know, think of SoundCloud, but you can
actually buy stuff. Yeah,
Vanessa (03:27):
we have stuff is great to drive to as well. Like, it's
good too. This is stuff I'velistened to. Has been, have you
started singing in it? Yeah,it's been a minute since I've
been on there, but I've,
River (03:37):
I started recording. I've been between the microphones. I
don't have very good microphonesright now, and I thought I had a
pretty good one, but I think theone I'm using on this podcast
might be a good contender, butI've been trying to really get
that recording stuff dialed insome perfectionist before I
(03:59):
release it. But yeah, I'll bedoing some screen vocals and
clean vocals and surprise myselfat how my FEM vocals sound. So
Vanessa (04:10):
that's that's exciting.
That's a big thing too. Like thegirl who does your trans
spotting intro, I rememberlistening to her on one of the
episodes. No, not Marcia. Thethe intro music,
River (04:29):
oh, the music, yeah.
Vanessa (04:30):
What's her name?
River (04:31):
Yeah? Robin Shakedown, yes, yeah, yeah. Robin.
Vanessa (04:35):
Like, it's hard enough to talk in a femme voice like
Riv and I have both done a lotof work. I cheated with surgery,
but and because you have to workon all sorts of inflections and
stuff, and you have to thinkabout it constantly. And if
you're neurodivergent like weare, it's even harder, because
your brain sometimes, like, Iget a performance thing, like
(04:56):
when I'm just home alone, liketalking to my dog. Like, I have
the most perfect femme voice inthe world. And here we go. It's
starting to come out. I likethis. But once I'm like, out in
the wild, all fucking bets areoff. I just sound like this. I'm
like, Oh man, I can't getanything out. So do you run into
(05:17):
that at all? You know? I
River (05:22):
It depends, right? Really depends. I think that being
neurodivergent plays into thechanges in my voice throughout
the day. I think that howstuffed up my noses with
allergies in the summertimechanges that, but also how much
I actually give a shit that dayI am. I'm a non binary woman, so
(05:45):
sometimes I really I'm cool withsounding kind of androgynous and
just kind of having a reallymonotone voice. And that's
possible part of beingneurodivergent. Sometimes it's
like, Oh, I'm just gonna giveyou information, and I'm a knot
in the stone. But also when myvoice is a little bit on the
Andro side, I've noticed thatmen the when I'm dealing with
(06:09):
them in a say, work, I work intech, when I'm and I'm a leader
at my my company, that they tendto listen more and they tend to
respect me more. So I've had alot of success of just not
thinking too hard about it andjust kind of focusing on
projecting confidence, which isliterally something that you
(06:31):
just, you just pretend to have,and that means that you have it.
I've learned and it's notsomething I have constantly.
It's only something I have whenI'm pretending to have it, which
is what I'm talking to men inthe tech environment. Because
it's hard as a woman to dealwith that bullshit. Yeah? So
(06:51):
long winded way of saying,sometimes I care, sometimes I
put effort into it. It dependson my comfort level, and what
I'm feeling like doing that day,it's hard, and yeah, I can,
like,
Vanessa (07:07):
I purposely don't talk on the phone. My voicemail says,
Hi, this is Vanessa. Send me atext. So I couldn't imagine
that, like having to actuallytalk to guys all the time and
the bullshit misogyny that youhave to deal with. So especially
having us both lived our livesfor decades, masquerading as as
(07:30):
boys, and so we know how theythink, which is a very unique
position to be in. And yeah,where I was going with this with
my little flitty ADHD, was withRobin. Robin can sing in a femme
voice, and it is fucking mindblowing, because it is so hard
(07:53):
just to talk in it. Andswitching to a singing voice is
amazing. And the fact thatyou're starting to get on that
like that's, that's fucking bad.
Yes,
River (08:05):
I've been doing it for a while. It's just the
perfectionism, right? And Ithink, I think the biggest
hurdle that I hurdle recentlyI've been trying to get over has
been projection, projectingwhile singing with a feminine
register, and it's less aboutit's less just like speaking.
(08:29):
It's less about pitch. It's moreabout resonance and more about
vocal mass, which I will say,what's really funny is that the
fact that I can still do a verydeep focal like metal screen,
and also a kind of medium tohigher metal screen kind of sort
(08:50):
of in the range of like, ifyou've heard the artist, known
as Daedric, she has a kind of amedium to low range vocal, kind
of kind of range for her screamthat actually helped me figure
out how to control my vocalcords more to speak and sing,
you name, more of them than men.
So you heard it here first. Kidspractice your metal screams, and
(09:14):
you'll be sounding like this inno time.
Vanessa (09:19):
I mean, it makes sense too, because you're you're
giving your that my the hardestpart I have just talking
normally is projection, likepulling up to at a drive through
speaker, like almost all thetime, people are like, What, I
can't hear you. And I'm like, Ithought I was talking loud, but
maybe I'm just used to having amicrophone in front of me or
(09:41):
something. But, yeah, projectionis, it's a big thing.
River (09:46):
Takes time, takes time in practice. It does, it
Vanessa (09:49):
does definitely. So, oh, I forgot to mention Patreon.
You can support our show onPatreon, if you'd like, I would
really like that. Yeah, do. Andsupport Riv as well on Patreon,
transplanting to support all allthe Patreons. Or probably even
better yet, just as as she said,download her, build her,
(10:09):
building her music and the stuffthat you pay for and the show,
pretty much, I would say, 20% ofmy show is just me trying to get
money out of people. And itdoesn't work, but I guess it
makes me feel better aboutmyself. So it's just you loan
sharking the entire time. Iknow, right? So anyways, right
(10:33):
back. My dog's like, coming upand say hi, so I asked Riv to be
on this week, and hopefully,like we'll see Rayvon more often
too, whenever she wants, becausesometimes it's kind of nice to
have a co host and not doeverything myself. But anyways,
(10:55):
I was scrolling through some oldphotos on my computer, and I
came across some dick pics thatI that were still somehow in
there from like my eye photosfrom way back when, which I had
sent consensually. I whenever Isent those in the past, they're
(11:18):
always at the request of theother party. I need to make that
very clear,
River (11:24):
don't cancel Vanessa.
Vanessa (11:26):
I know, I mean, I'm already canceled, but it blew my
fucking mind, because it lookedso foreign, like completely
different. I At first, I didn'trealize that it was me, and then
I'm like, Well, why else wouldthese be on my phone, or not
(11:50):
even on my phone anymore, buriedin there. So I sent Riva
message. I'm like, it wasn't thedick pic, I promise. No, I did
not send a dick pic. Thank you.
I send it to my girlfriendsbecause they curious see what it
was like, and they both prefermy pussy, and so do I. But
Unknown (12:13):
I like,
Vanessa (12:16):
where did my brain go?
It just died. It does this allthe time. Oh, and it felt
foreign. Yes, foreign. Thankyou. So I asked riv, like, not
regarding, like, dick pics andstuff in the past, but we've
both been transitioning a fairamount of time. Riv, you're at
about four years, right, and I'mclosing in on three. And so our
(12:37):
past selves are it's not sofresh in our minds anymore. And
I don't know about you, but likemost of the people I know now,
never knew me as Jeremy, my dad.
You don't have to reveal yours.
I was just doing it for thecontext. And now almost everyone
(12:58):
I talk with his only Arino me AsVanessa, so the old me is just
like it's faded into absoluteoblivion. But it's kind of weird
when you see pics of yourself orhear your voice from the past,
what does that do to your brain?
River (13:25):
It feels like someone's walking over my grave where like
it's it's so strange because Iso here's one example I I used
to do. I tried doing streamingfor a little bit when I was pre
transition and I was playinglike destiny. I was not very
good at video games, but I did apretty funny commentary. I would
(13:47):
think I always been a little bitwitty, and yeah, that I've
always had a very like a radioannouncer voice. I worked in
call centers. People thought Iwas a robot when I pick up the
phone at the Apple Care callcenter back in the day. So I was
like, at least this is myadvantage. I will start to
stream, and I will docommentary, because I suck at
(14:08):
games, and I'll just make itfunny. And it didn't really go
anywhere. I didn't really try tomake it go anywhere, but I did.
I did happen upon clips of thatthe other day, and it was even
just early transition before myvoice was kind of a comfy spot
where it is right now. It wasstill evolving, and I just Oh,
(14:33):
nails on a chalkboard, feeling,you know, that
Vanessa (14:36):
doesn't fringe is powerful. The fuck is that?
Yeah,
River (14:41):
and like, same thing with with seeing um photos of myself,
especially ones that were umolder than my, my eight crack
day like, I've seen my eightcrack day one. You know, it's
the one we usually share withpeople where it's like, yeah,
this is me before and after.
And, you know, I had a scraggly.
Beer he had my hair was like,you'd be like, down to here, but
(15:04):
it was, it was salt and pepper alittle bit, because I would just
started going gray from thetrauma I've been through in my
life. My sister had the samething happen to her, and I was
like, dark brown with some somesalt and pepper in there, and
just the saddest motherfuckeryou've ever seen in your life.
But when you look back further,when I was really trying, like,
(15:28):
leaning into being masculine, Iwas a Dorito chip, like I was,
like, I worked out a lot, andthat was in response to, like, I
said some some trauma stuff, butalso really trying to fit that
mask on of literally, maskmasks, yeah, and it just didn't
(15:51):
feel right. I was like, Who isthis Captain America wannabe?
And here I am trying to go theother direction. And, like, I
skipped leg day constantly, so Iwas a Dorito chip. Now I'm
trying to even it back outagain. So now I'm, now I'm in my
home gym three times a week tryand try and do leg day, butt
(16:13):
day. It's fun to keep up withit's really hard. Yeah, and, and
what they don't tell you is thatwhen you're you're letting your
muscles atrophy. They don't tellyou that when they atrophy,
muscles just turn to fat, right?
That's what happens to muscle.
And so it's difficult to startto see the changes, because
(16:40):
you're like, Oh, well, the massis still there. Oh, I see what's
happening. Then you have tostart to think about like, if I
do I want to tone my body. Do Iwant to, like, do anything? It's
very delicate dance. Of like, ifyou're trying to control the way
that your body moves and behavesand and looks while you're
(17:01):
transitioning from one extremeto the other, or even if you're
not medically transitioning,you're just focusing on, like,
trying to change how your bodylooks that way it's it takes a
lot of a lot of balance in termsof cardio and weightlifting and
all that stuff. But long story,very long story. Short it, it is
(17:24):
weird to see completelydifferent proportions of a
person from the past trying tofit into a very narrow minded
version of what I was toldmasculine masculinity was,
Vanessa (17:42):
yeah, we, we definitely, like it was our,
most of our lives, soperformative and exhausting now
that I, at least, when I lookback at it and like I a lot of
trans girls had beards, becauseThat was kind of, kind of the
classic mask, like, well, youknow, I can come off as a boy if
(18:06):
I have this glorious beard. AndI had a glorious beard, but I
also had a habit of ripping thehairs out. So maybe that was,
like, early. There's so manyearly signs. There really are.
But I, uh, yeah, I one commonthing, like with earlier in
transition, is timeline videosand stuff like that. And there
(18:31):
seems to be a point, I don'tknow where it is, I would say
around the two year mark, wheremaybe it's as our puberty, our
second puberty, starts fadingaway, where the appeal of that
stuff starts, for me, at least,starts going away. If you had
that as well,
River (18:50):
I have. I definitely was tracking on Instagram, my
progression through transition,like monthly for the first
couple of years. I don't know ifit's necessarily for me, the
(19:10):
second puberty kind of extremeof emotions, or whatever that
means for each or differentperson, kind of falling away,
because I definitely feel likeI'm still going through the
motions. Let me tell you, Istill feel like I'm a 19 year
old and I'm still going throughit. Um, because estrogen powered
(19:31):
puberty last somewhere betweenfive to 10 years. Potentially,
it's powerful. Average of seven.
Yeah, it's pretty powerful. Solike, if you think a 19 year old
girl zone puberty, you werewrong. But I think it came more
from me wanting to let thememory of that person that I
thought I was die and reallyembrace who I am now, and kind
(19:55):
of let that fall away and andnot. Focus as much on the past
and focus more on on living inthe moment, focusing more on
what's going on right now, howI'm feeling right now, honoring
who I am and who I'm becoming,all those things. Now
Vanessa (20:15):
that you put that into words, my brain's like, oh shit.
Oh yeah. That makes sense. Butyou know, that is what I'm
doing. So I thought about this alot. Don't worry, yeah, yeah,
words of wisdom from Riv there,because it is. It's like the
whole transitioning thing isless new now, and we are just
(20:38):
going through the daily emotionsof our lives. And I think a lot
of times in my case, I thinkabout my transness more than
anybody else does. Most of myclients say that when they met
me, they didn't know I was transuntil I told them. And I just
(20:59):
automatically think everybodyclocks me because I can clock a
trans person. Well, trans womana mile away, trans guys are
harder but and so I just thinkeveryone's like that. But I also
realize it's just kind of howI've been trained, and kind of a
self preservation thing as well.
But I have started like, Iwouldn't full mind just moving
(21:24):
away from trans identity andjust embracing lesbianism at
this point. So like, My car hasa sticker on the back, has two
two scissors going like this,with a lesbian flag. And a
couple girls pulled up behind mein a stoplight yesterday, and
like one of them looked, she'slike, and then she poked her
partner, and they both looked,and I waved, and they waved
(21:47):
back, and they were driving aSubaru, so you knew they were
part of the club, but it's, Idon't know if I'm also doing
that more For kind of justsurvival in a red area. Riv
you're lucky enough to live in.
I don't think there's such thingas a good place for trans people
(22:08):
to live, but there's better, youknow, yeah. So, yeah, this was
my brain ran out of things todiscuss on this, because,
River (22:25):
see, I'm not an interrupter, and I feel like I
probably normally with CO hosts,we interrupt each other, like,
and I fizzle out. And I shouldhave probably come in to like,
build on what you're saying.
Vanessa (22:35):
I let Marcia do that. I
River (22:37):
usually don't do that. I usually I like to facilitate,
let people talk amongstthemselves. Yeah, I think
there's something to embracingdifferent parts of our
identities as we focus a lot onthe trans part for a lot of our
a lot of our transition already.
And you know, you hit it fastand hard when you're especially
(22:57):
when you're you're medicallytransitioning, whatever that
means for you, and it's all youthink about for for a while. And
there's reason why people aresaying, like, are you making
your whole identity? It's likeyou don't understand. I've been
a little, had a little Dilbertmoment there with my my choker.
You don't understand. I've been,I've been in, like, having the
(23:19):
wrong representation of myselfthis entire time, and now that
I'm I'll cut loose, and Ifigured out who I am, like, it's
all I'm going to talk about. Andwhen that starts to kind of
fade, I you know, you realize,oh, what other parts of the
community really sit well withme? And I think there is a
(23:39):
really it's really nuanced tothink about, how do we start to
back out of that reallysaturated talk of like, in the
trans community, saying, like,I'm identifying more as a
lesbian now, it's like, cool,you're still trans, and you're
(24:00):
still part of that community,even if you're, even if you're
like, you're kind of stepping,stepping back from that. So I
know, I know some folks who havestarted to started to say, like,
I don't really think myself astrans anymore. I just think
myself as woman and a lesbian.
I'm like, Cool, okay. It's not abad thing to be trans, like not
(24:23):
and I know that probably whereyou're living and and the the
way that society is going, andthe way that all of the you know
shit around the election haskind of been positioning trans
people as, Oh, bad, and thatprobably is leading to people
wanting to distance themselvesfrom their own identities, but
(24:44):
it's one thing to expand youridentity and and embrace
different parts of that, whetherit's lesbian, ace, bisexual,
etc, for me, not accepting morelike I'm non binary. As well as
a trans woman, but it's anotherthing to say, like, Well, I'm
(25:05):
not actually trans because nowI've got a vagina, now I've got
this and I've got that. I'mactually just, I'm good. I'm not
actually trans. I'm just, I'mjust this. That's a dangerous
mindset. That's a very dangerousmindset to kind of get into,
because that a little bit meansthat you're also drinking that
Kool Aid. You got to be careful.
And it's, it's easy to drink theKool Aid, it's hard to not drink
(25:26):
the Kool Aid, difficult, butit's, it's more powerful and
more brave to not drink thatKool Aid.
Vanessa (25:35):
I I still go every day like I try to educate people
too, like people that know thatI'm trans, or if I bring it up,
I don't bring it up in day today conversation anymore, like I
used to. But again, kind oftime's gone on, kind of matured
a little bit there. But it's, Ithink, part of reason the
(25:59):
Conservatives are jumping somuch on the othering us is
because so many people don'thave any idea what it means to
be trans. And the number onething I always tell people is it
is not a choice. We are justflat out born this way. It's no
different from having blue eyes,brown eyes, green eyes,
whatever. And it's just, it'sjust who we are, and the only
(26:24):
choice in the matter is whetheror not to come out, which is sad
and of itself, but it's, youknow, there's, I constantly
reiterate, the people thatthere's no reason to be afraid
of us. All that we want to do isjust live our lives just like
everybody, everybody else. Andthis is just one part of us.
(26:48):
We're all very, very differentpeople. Our commonality in the
trans community is being transor NB or anything under the
umbrella. So have you had anylike, do you work on educating
as well? Or do you not have todo that as much?
River (27:07):
Thankfully, the I did a little bit of educating early
into transition, especially atwork. Oh, it's gonna
thunderstorm again. Apparently,Stoner here, yeah, that's wild.
It's getting dark outside. Mywonderful lighting starting to
(27:29):
fade. So at work, I am a managerof a IT Help Desk team, and
being that I being working in IThelp desk in my particular
company, means you are very mucha person that is well known
(27:54):
across the company. And we havelike 64 retail stores that we
support internally, and so theyall know you, and when that
happens, you really have to makethat decision of, well, do I
pretend that the old me is gone,or do I actually make my
transition public? And I mademine public so people who are
(28:16):
still at the company that havebeen around since that blog post
from four years ago. They, a lotof them that I directly work
with have had to have someeducation, educating moments,
some teaching moments. Andthankfully, those who've met me
(28:39):
in my and current, current yearsreally haven't needed that. They
just kind of, oh yeah, she's,it's her, she's, she's, she's
oral. Look at her. She'slistened to her. She's a girl.
It's not hard, and there hasn'treally been a big need for it.
But thankfully, where I am, it'sreally so people are really
(29:05):
supportive of trans people, atleast within the company I work
for and the state I live in, andspecifically the city I live in,
is a they, we have a we have atrans crosswalk. Downtown, a
trans flag crosswalk. We have afull like original gay pride
(29:30):
flag crosswalk on the other sideof that, of that block, really,
you know when Pride Week hits,it's mostly trans flags that are
up because it was kind offounded, and it's a really big
trans area, so I lucked out towhere I moved to. I didn't know
that moving here. Didn't know Iwas trans when I moved here, so,
Vanessa (29:52):
but there's signs out there. You know,
River (29:55):
there, there were signs there. Yeah, there were
definitely signs literal. Haveflags, but yeah, so not as much
education anymore. Outside ofthe podcast arena, more of if my
coworkers and friends sayssomething untoward, I'm like,
(30:17):
let me just quickly educate youon why saying biological woman
is a is a dog whistle. He'slike, Oh, shit. I didn't think
about that. I was like, Yeah,dude, they're in your brain.
These, these Terps. They'refucking crafty. They are. And
he's like, Oh, he gets so mad.
And like, I know because,because we're, we're besties.
And, you know, he just wants tosupport me.
Vanessa (30:39):
I love having that like there's a local, local realtor
that I've been he's very he'sbeen very curious on how to
actually be an actual ally,rather than a performative ally,
because he knows of a problem Ihave with another local realtor
that I was standing next to her,and the seller taking pictures
(31:05):
early in transition, like Istood out in the fucking crowd
then. And the seller was talkingabout playing a game called
smear the queers
Unknown (31:17):
and like me right there. And
Vanessa (31:21):
this agent who calls herself an ally to the community
and everything was just goingalong with conversation. And I
mean, a true ally has your backeven when you're not in the
room. You're definitely not anally if you don't have someone's
back when they're standing rightfucking next to so I was telling
(31:42):
him about that case, and so hehas been actively educating
himself and ask questions hereand there. Like, on, how should
I approach this? He also, like,looks things up himself, too,
but I told him, he's welcome toask Me for guidance, and he's
been correcting people on thingsand like and not in a mean way,
(32:05):
like gentle ways, because almostall misconceptions of any group
are just baked into us, likeracism is fucking baked into us.
Again, you have to activelyunlearn it So, and that's what
he'd been what he's been doing.
And I said, that that is thesign of a actual ally, not a
performative ally. And one thingI explained to him early on is
(32:26):
the title ally is not a titlethat you give yourself. It is a
title that whatever communityyou want to be an ally to gives
to you, and it can be takenaway. So, so it's I like being
able to educate people wheneverI can. And I would say most
(32:48):
people are educatable. There arethose out there the if someone's
flying a trim flag on theirtruck and I bother but there's a
lot of that here. Don't
River (33:03):
you worry,
Vanessa (33:04):
you don't have that here. No, we
River (33:06):
definitely have that here. Yeah, I live in the
country ish area. Trump flagsabounds.
Vanessa (33:16):
Oh, I heard that one Diane, to quote
River (33:20):
ash, my partner, who is texting right now all caps,
floor blesses us on the stairs.
Vanessa (33:29):
Ash, Ash, I love your words. I love your words. I am
an absolute weather nerd. One ofmy partners, Jenny, and I like
we want to start our own tornadochasing thing. I I forget what
we're gonna call it, but like weboth love tornadoes. She lives
in Oklahoma, so she gets morethan I do. Being in Ohio, I
(33:50):
still get quite a few.
River (33:52):
I've got a pitch for you what you could call it, yes,
titty twisters. Yeah, hire mefor for all of your all of your
logo needs, all of yourcatchphrase needs, I got you
covered like a bunny.
Vanessa (34:13):
That is amazing. Just popped in there. I think what I
came up with was like derechodykes or something like that
with titty twisters, it's somuch better. Oh, I can't wait to
tell her that. Oh, but yeah. Sowhenever I hear like thunder and
stuff like that, it gets me wet.
Trans girls don't really get wetthat much, but it still gets me
(34:35):
wet and riffs like, oh, speakfor yourself, bitch. So nothing.
Eyebrows, fatal. Only thing Idon't like about thunderstorms
is they freak my dog the fuckout so but, like, I've always
been the girl that whenever abig storm comes in, I just stand
(34:57):
there and like, watch it come.
And tornado chasing just excitesme. Yeah. Anyways, I brought
that up because I have a an appon my phone called radar omega,
and it's awesome and like, ittells you, like, where all the
(35:21):
tornado warnings are in thecountry, like they're currently
four, and they are all in Canadacurrently. So, yeah, you don't
have a tornado warning, but Ijust love weather nerding.
That's good. Yeah. Anyways, Idon't know where I was going
with that, so
River (35:43):
now I'm just watching the rain through my wonderful, huge
windows on three sides of me.
Vanessa (35:52):
So relaxing. It's really relaxing. Yeah, the
pitter patter. It was pouringhere earlier, like, I took my
dog for a walk, and then we gothome, and like, five minutes
later, this guy opened up, and,like, up. I'm like, Gabby, I'm
glad we went when we were dead.
So, like, yeah, a walk with meis, like, to the end of the
street and back, because Ismoke, and walking starts.
River (36:15):
Oh, we had, it was a, it was like, raining sideways last
night, and it was probably thebiggest thunderstorm we've ever
had in I've ever had seen myselfin the piece in the Pacific
Northwest. And my our dog doesnot care at all about fireworks
or thunder, thankfully, like ourprevious dog was like, chewed up
(36:37):
heart attack. Basically, currentdog does. Could not give a fuck
about like, what was happening.
Okay, I'm going back to bed. I'mvery thankful. However, one of
our four cats, yes, we have fourcats living the lesbian dream.
Vanessa (36:55):
I mean, you're lesbians.
River (36:56):
I you know my partner's non binary. We still identify as
lesbians. It's great. And ourcat, Bjorn, is part Bengal, and
he is very ferocious boy. He'salso a very sweet boy, and he
(37:17):
was the only cat that got scaredenough to run and hide under our
bed last night, and even ourlittle our little dipshit cat
who looks like a chibicharacter, who is part Munchkin,
and there's nothing going onthat brain of his, he wasn't
scared at all, like he was justChilling. Yeah, he'd be the
(37:41):
first one to run. But no, hedidn't care. So he's
Unknown (37:44):
like, this is my wife.
River (37:46):
You never maybe, like,
Vanessa (37:48):
I've been watching the weather more, and you're getting
a lot more big weather in thatarea than in years past. And
like, tornado alley over hereused to be mainly like Oklahoma,
in Kansas and stuff like that.
And it is shifted, shifted eastto where Ohio gets a lot of
them. And then there's a new onecalled Dixie alley. So climate
(38:11):
change girls, it's a thing,yeah, so
River (38:19):
don't vote for you can change your gender. You can
change your climate Exactly,
Vanessa (38:24):
exactly. Oh, so anything else that you want to
talk trans on our random transepisode,
River (38:32):
random trans Thank you for having me. By the way, I am
really excited for those of youwho also might watch and or
listen to transpodding. Sorry,it's been a while since we've
had an episode. Life's beenmoving pretty hard and fast, and
(38:55):
scheduling was really hard forthe three of us. So we're
working on stuff is going tohappen. I'm hoping maybe to be
here with you, Vanessa, a littlebit more.
Vanessa (39:07):
You're welcome always,
River (39:08):
Vanessa, you're welcome to come and co host transpotting
with me as well.
Vanessa (39:13):
I'd like that.
Actually, that would be fun.
Yeah, Ash is going to be
River (39:17):
on in the near future.
Yeah, yeah. I've got some somefolks from our Discord
community, which is gettingpretty big now. We're like 280
people our Discord. I know I'mpoking some people that I think
would be great co host to, kindof like guest guest co host. I'm
learning from you, girl, thiswhole guest co host thing that
you do, I love. It keeps it,keeps from getting stale, right?
(39:40):
Yeah. And so I've got some ideaspopping in there, but it's taken
some time to do. And I'm a busygirl. I'm doing a lot of stuff
in my life, and, yeah, it's hardto keep up. Anyways, that one's
That one's for anyone who's likethe cross listeners across the
street. So transpotting andtranscending humanity,
(40:01):
transponding humanity will makeit happen,
Vanessa (40:06):
yeah? Spotting humanity. Yeah, no, like, that's
something. Glad you brought thatup because, like, it's the same
with my co set co host I've hadon this show too. Scheduling is
so fucking hard,
River (40:19):
like, from different time zones, yeah.
Vanessa (40:23):
And like Celeste, she's all the way on the East Coast,
isn't she? She's on the EastCoast. Yeah, yeah. So that's
hard when you and Marcia are sofar west. And for me, like Taryn
is San Francisco and Erica is inDC. And Jess is North Carolina.
(40:46):
I believe. Sorry, Jess, ifyou're listening, I'm pretty
sure that's my brain doesn'twork, but so I'm just like, You
know what? I'm just going totake over this show myself. And
if any of the past CO hosts wantto pop on, they're welcome
anytime. So, and sounds kind oflike that might be kind of where
you're going. It makes runningthings a lot easier, especially
since I brought the show back toweekly, and because trying to
(41:09):
schedule weekly is hard, it'svery hard.
River (41:13):
Is really impressive.
It's I'm struggling with monthlyright now, and I'm way beyond
that has been what I
Vanessa (41:22):
wanted to do weekly, because my listenership had
fallen off, fallen off so much,and so now, yeah, I'm focusing
on the guests and guest hostsand what have you. And I think
it's I'm hoping it's working,but it's fun having I'm because
I have no real direction for theshow. So that's kind of the
point of the show. So show hasno direction. The show is what
(41:44):
it is,
River (41:46):
Seinfeld of you.
Vanessa (41:48):
I know, right. Sorry. I
River (41:49):
would never, never insult you with the signs, invoke
Seinfeld on you.
Vanessa (41:56):
Just let me go get a fucking Porsche and, you know,
but trans
River (42:03):
in cars with coffee,
Vanessa (42:06):
we should do that actually, you know? Yeah, that
would be fun.
River (42:10):
Zero Porsches involved.
Vanessa (42:13):
I don't know trans girl who drives a Porsche, honestly,
yeah. I mean, a lot of usprobably drive Subarus. Know
anything of it. And here's meand my little just
River (42:23):
got my my Buick working again, my 2005 Buick I was dead
in the driveway because I lostignition key for two years ago.
I just got it working again.
Finally. Yeah, you like now I'ma car. I never I never knew how
to do anything with cars when Iwas identifying as a dude, but
yeah, now I now I know more thanI would like to about how to
(42:45):
replace batteries and all that,all that good stuff. So I had to
the battery, like, hold downbolt. Thing was rusted. I had a
hacksaw to it, little minihacksaw, and just like, cut the
head of the bolt off to get theold battery out, and then, yeah,
yeah, yeah, just surgery. Justdropped, yeah, you know, it's
(43:08):
just me with a hacksaw door.
Vanessa (43:15):
I mean, that's how, that's what a lot of car car
maintenance is, like, yeah,when, like, I hate working on
cars, I get mad, like, reallymad, and so I don't let myself
do it anymore. But there's beena time where actually pulled an
entire engine on a car. There'salso been times where I fucking
(43:35):
started beating a car with ahammer because I was so mad at
it. So yeah, I don't do my owncard work anymore, but
River (43:42):
I just get stubborn.
Like, you know, like, it's thesame thing with with tech
issues. I takes a lot to make megive up. I get really fucking
stubborn. Yes, I'm gonna find away to fix this, or I'm gonna go
to bed and dream only of thisand then wake up and do it all
over.
Vanessa (44:01):
I mean, is it? Is it our autism that's spiking that
too, you know,
River (44:06):
I probably, but because I'm the same, right? It started
with, started for an it for me,I'm like, I'm gonna figure this
out, and if I don't figure thisout, I'm gonna be so angry.
Vanessa (44:18):
And then people are like, You need to just let it
go. You take a break. And I'mnot taking a fucking break in
and you
River (44:25):
know what? I always figure it out
Vanessa (44:28):
exactly. Always see persistence. Persistence is key.
Anyone do Cards AgainstHumanity? What's that? Do you
want to do Cards AgainstHumanity? Do we do that here?
That's my new thing.
River (44:44):
That's your new thing.
Sure, yeah, let's do it. That's
Vanessa (44:47):
how I've been closing that up. So I'm probably not
going to do it with the two OhioState House reps, especially
since they're running for reelection right now. But
River (44:57):
I mean, it might boost their numbers. It might.
Vanessa (45:00):
I But so, I mean, it doesn't have to be perverted. So
what what we do? It's just theblack cards. Mine usually are
perverted because it's me, butI've had some very good answers
to the things from other people.
So all this is, is I have theblack cards, and then you just
(45:21):
come up with a white cardagainst or yourself, or
whatever. That kind of floatsyour boat. You know, makeup, you
have to make it up. I'm going tomake you get creative. Okay,
River (45:32):
you know you're you're in luck, because I'm good at this.
Vanessa (45:35):
I know, right. So where do you want your card to be sold
from?
River (45:42):
I uh, somewhere in the middle, somewhere
Vanessa (45:44):
in the middle. Okay, how about this card? Let's do
it. Okay, so this is your card.
Look it's so Cardy and I cantake one I know I am going to
show it to you. Like to memorizeyour card over the back of the
deck? Do you want to go first?
So you want to go first? So youwant me
River (46:03):
to go first? I'm gonna, you know, make you go first.
Okay, fine. I don't want thatpressure on me. No,
Vanessa (46:11):
I I almost went there and I didn't. Okay. So says, Hey
guys, I know this was my idea,but I'm having serious doubts
about this. One popped up inanother episode recently.
River (46:31):
Oh, damn this. And then I have to make up the response to
that.
Vanessa (46:36):
It's like Mad Libs.
River (46:39):
That's not that much of a setup, though. Oh, damn.
Vanessa (46:42):
Do another one.
River (46:44):
Let's do another one. I feel like that's that could be
very vanilla. Yeah, I don'twant, I don't want a vanilla
answer. That
Vanessa (46:50):
one was already on the show, um, last week, actually, I
think that was okay. What closeout
River (46:55):
of here?
Vanessa (46:55):
What do you do in Redis and cards? Here's a better one.
MTV is new reality show featureseight washed up celebrities
living with, living with, you're
River (47:14):
going to edit this, right? So that my answer is
immediately after, so it lookslike I'm really smart.
Vanessa (47:19):
I don't edit the show.
I chop off like girl. I do theshow fucking weekly. Do you
think I have time to edit?
River (47:28):
I don't. I don't do video edits for our show either. Oh,
my God, living eight washed upcelebrities. It's
Vanessa (47:39):
like that one show that Caitlyn Jenner in it, oh God,
speaking of watchdog,
Unknown (47:50):
do another thing living
River (47:51):
with. Here's the thing is, it mod is, is the grammar
talking about they are livingwith something as though, let's
workshop this? Are they livingwith something that they all
have to deal with? Or as in,like it is a an idea or like an
(48:12):
issue, or is it another personor like object or something
that's more material? The answerto your question, dark and say
cancer, or it could go and sayVanilla Ice. The answer
Vanessa (48:27):
to your question, river is yes,
River (48:31):
yes, ANDing me, washed up celebrities living with
Vanessa (48:45):
Tom Jones. Tom Jones,
River (48:48):
let's go with Tom Jones.
Vanessa (48:50):
I was gonna say explosive diarrhea. I mean Tom
Jones and his explosivediarrhea, and it's close to
diarrhea. Yeah, I forget whomTom Jones is, isn't it? Wasn't
it? Like a singer, like as asinger, he had the Vegas show
and everything. Yeah, I justruined the joke. Sorry.
River (49:14):
Hey, you know we can do it again. Could try another one?
Vanessa (49:17):
Sure. I'll pull another one for you.
River (49:20):
I'm not as good at this.
I
Vanessa (49:21):
thought, wasn't I supposed to go first, and I made
you go first, didn't I?
River (49:26):
Well, you didn't see, here's where the neurodiversity
comes in. You didn't specify ifyou were going first, then you
were drawing the card first, andthen having me react.
Vanessa (49:36):
I know. Okay, I know that, because this card over
here was one I picked out foryou, and then this one was mine,
and I think we talked about So,okay, you might like this one.
Call that
River (49:51):
ADHD folks, yeah.
Vanessa (49:54):
What would grandma find disturbing, but you find oddly?
Charming.
River (50:01):
Oh grandma, find disturbing Yet oddly charming,
Vanessa (50:06):
oh yeah Yet oddly charming. You.
River (50:28):
A vibrator shaped by Tom Jones,
Vanessa (50:31):
fuck yeah. That is the perfect answer. That is the
absolute only
River (50:35):
answer after the first after the first joke.
Vanessa (50:41):
That's the perfect answer. That's the perfect
answer. Charming.
River (50:44):
Oh, why is he buzzing so much? I sound like Harley Quinn.
They're not a grandma. Sorryabout that.
Vanessa (50:50):
I'm well there. I think in Batman there was actually
like a grandma aged Harley Quinnin it.
River (50:59):
So I didn't watch that far. I love that show.
Vanessa (51:01):
I didn't really watch that far either, but I was
watching a recap on like, it'slike Batman Beyond in 48 minutes
on YouTube, which, you know,good content to absorb while I
met. Any photos, all right? Somine is, oh, there's a sultry
voice. See, sometimes this comesout, and I like that. How am I
(51:25):
maintaining I know, right, sogood. How am I maintaining my
relationship status? There, I'llpump it up a little bit. And for
me, I maintain my relationshipstatus by sending copious
amounts of pictures of my pussyto my girlfriends. And whenever
they're having a bad day, I sendthem those, and it seems to perk
(51:46):
them right back up. Andsometimes I get them in return
too. So yeah, pretty much everyone of my answers has like, if
they've been titties, I thinklast week it was trans girl
Jizz. You know, it's alwayssomething to just switch things
up. But your your face is like,What the fuck did I get into
(52:10):
here? Oh, one
River (52:14):
track mind, and that track is the fucking gutter,
which is funny to know less fromyou. It's
Vanessa (52:21):
funny too, because I'm gray sexual, like, I really
don't think about sex all thatmuch. But something, you know,
some Cards Against Humanityjust, it just brings it out of
me. I suppose I think I need toget
River (52:33):
performing too. This is technically performing, so I
guess break it out and, yeah,we're
Vanessa (52:37):
trying to entertain people. I think it's time for me
to get some more cards againsthumanity, though, because this
is, like, the original fuckingCards Against Humanity. It needs
something that's a little bitmore up to date, because this
game's probably been around forat least 20 years now, I
River (52:50):
would say, Oh, don't say that.
Vanessa (52:52):
I know, right? I mean, don't worry, I'm older than you.
Like, I should have had my 25thhigh school reunion this summer,
but my class were just followingwhatever, and you're old with
me. How
River (53:06):
old are you?
Vanessa (53:07):
I'm 43 I'm 37 so I'm older than you.
River (53:13):
Yeah, you look great, hon. Well, thank
Vanessa (53:16):
you so to you fucking estrogen. Estrogen is amazing. I
swear it takes off at least fiveyears. And I love quizzing
people. Do you ever ask peoplehow old they think you are? It's
fun, because you just blow theirminds.
River (53:31):
I don't actively but I've had those instances with people
that I that when I first meetthem, like at work, if they're a
new person, they're like, whatdo you what do you mean? You're
10 years older than this otherperson? I'm like, Yeah, I'm 37
they're just like, Ah, you'rereally 25 and I'm like, I I'm
like, first of all, women don'tinspire after 32nd of all, thank
(53:54):
you. But yeah, I feel like it'sit the first five years comes
off from the estrogen the nextfive years comes off from being
happy all the damn time that
Vanessa (54:04):
too, that really does have a lot to do with it. Like,
yeah, that's something I've beentalking about. I actually
River (54:10):
care about my skin care routine. Do one now I didn't do
one before. Actually wash myface with what
Vanessa (54:18):
I know, right? And once you start getting everything
like I've been telling mytherapist that now that I got my
hormones back in line and I'm onADHD meds, I'm no longer on the
bipolar meds killing me becauseI wasn't bipolar, and so for
like, the first time in my LifeI haven't had crippling
(54:40):
depression constantly, and it isfucking weird, like, I don't
know how to handle it, like,it's not that it's a bad thing,
but it's just like, I'm notconstantly sitting here wanting
to kill myself, and that's kindof mind blowing, and that does
take age off you as well. Sojust being able to just, it's.
Live your life and not bemiserable all the time. So,
(55:03):
yeah, transitioning, it's quitethe drug. You know, estrogen is
magic for us. Testosterone ismagic for the trans boys. I
don't miss testosterone folks,
River (55:15):
you know. And for some folks, that's not necessary, and
it just means identifying andunderstanding who you are, and
that is more than valid hashtag.
Fuck transmeds. Thank you.
Vanessa (55:28):
Yes, exactly. You do not have to be on any medicine
to be trans. I think I've saidthat before in the show, yeah, I
just like to reinforce it. No,it is good to reinforce, because
society kind of pushes againstthat. And gender identity is
gender identity. And there'sit's such a spectrum anyways.
(55:52):
And I think for some of us, thedysphoria might push us towards
going to the medical route morethan others, and but again, it's
an individual journey. It's theway that I liked doing it. But
you know, everything is valid,so that the number one thing to
keep in mind is don't be a dickand don't
Unknown (56:15):
be a Republican.
Vanessa (56:20):
They go hand in hand.
River (56:22):
Oxymoron,
Vanessa (56:23):
I know. Yeah, truly. So do you have any closing
thoughts?
River (56:31):
Closing thought number one, fiscally conservative is
still conservative. Stop lyingto yourself and stop being a
dick voting for voting for athird party may help with your
moral compass, but does not helppeople that are in danger of
losing their rights. So get atthe fuck it together and vote
(56:53):
for Kamala. Thanks. Exactly.
Vanessa (56:57):
I see those posts all the time. It's like she's well,
her stands out in Israel. Like,I am also against what Israel is
doing in Gaza. I've talked aboutthis on former episodes. Yeah,
100% I'm also against what Hamasdid to Israel. Like, I don't
condone the violence, I don'tcondone the terrorist attacks,
(57:17):
but I also don't condone theresponse to it and punishing
innocence. So but youralternative in this election is
Trump. It's not going to be RFK,it's not going to be Jill.
What's her face? It's going tobe Trump. It's Trump or Kamala.
And one, yeah, you might notnecessarily agree with
(57:39):
everything, and then that's thecase. Maybe run yourself. Start
running for office yourself.
Start making a difference fromthe bottom up, because the most
important parts of the ticketreally do start at the bottom.
Work the work their way up.
River (57:54):
Having a two party system is very shitty. It really is.
Having a binary in gender, is itis should not exist. It is. It
is not the reality in any way,shape or form, however, it is
currently what we are dealingwith, and it has a tail as old
as time. We cannot demolish thatuntil we actually are no longer
(58:16):
having to fight to exist andfight for our right to to bodily
autonomy. So focus on Firstthings first, which is, let's
get people safe. Then we canstart to focus on, how do we
work through totallydisassembling a two party system
that was created by systems ofoppression years and years ago.
(58:41):
How do we demolish that? How dowe start to make something
better? We can't do that. Trustme. I want to fucking do that.
Me too. I want to do that. Wecan't do that until we make sure
that people are safe here. Andwhen we can do that, guess what?
They're going to thrive. We'regoing to have a lot more people
who are actually moreprogressive because they
understand that they get to havethe right to do and they won't
(59:02):
be forced to detransition. Theywon't be forced to make tough
decisions about about birthingall that good stuff and keep
people safe first.
Vanessa (59:15):
They will be enforced to do the work concentration
camps, which is things out herethat we have, yeah, people that
are kind of interested in whatRiv said there. Do you like Jon
Stewart? Yes, me too. So he hasa weekly show podcast, since he
got booted off of Apple foractually, you know, giving a
shit about people, so he wentback to the daily show once a
(59:38):
week. And he also does a podcastcalled the weekly show, and he
had some guests on there, Iwould say, a month, maybe two
months back, and they talkedabout what, what things would
look like with more parties.
There's kind of like a sweetspot you don't want too many,
like in the UK, there's quite afew you want. Like. Four or
(59:58):
five, and that's what they talkabout with this, and it would
also expand the House and theSenate with more seats in order
to accommodate that. It's a veryinteresting listen, and it's
something that I think couldpossibly happen once the fucking
boomers die out, at least. Butit's up to our generation to do
(01:00:20):
that like one of the upcomingepisode is going to have couple
Gen Z years, and we're going tobe talking about it's kind of a
follow up to the episode I did ayear ago with land. And read how
the rest of the country needs tostop counting on Gen Z to save
us, and we need to just fuckingstep up and do it ourselves,
(01:00:41):
especially our generationmillennials. There's a fucking
lot of us so, and we are thenext boomers, whether we like it
or not, and lend even calledthat out, and I agree with them.
We are the next boomers. Gen Z'sthe Next Gen X, really? So, and
then Gen Alpha. I can't wait forthem to come of age. It's gonna
be a lot of fun. Okay, we're atan hour. I guess we should stop.
(01:01:05):
Riv anything else you want to
River (01:01:11):
plug? I already plugged my stuff. I think the beginning
site. I think I'm good. Come ondown to the trans potting
discord. Yes, if you go topatreon.com/trans spotting,
which is going to have 2s in it,by the way, you will be able to
(01:01:32):
not only watch our content. Freesubscribers, you can have access
to everything we already havealready done. Paid subscribers
get early access to newepisodes. I'm sorry we're still
working on making more andadditionally, you joined, and
we've got a little post that hasa link to our public Discord
(01:01:52):
server that is just hoppingright now, and got a lot of
wonderful folks in thatcommunity who are taking care of
each other and connecting andmaking it happen. So,
Vanessa (01:02:10):
yeah, I actually asked something maybe about combining
HP and TSS discords by discord,I don't know how to fucking run
a discord. Yours is fuckinggorgeous. It has all the bots,
it has all the things.
River (01:02:24):
So here is my here's my secret. Is Samara. Samara is our
wonderful mod, and she knows allthe things. I am like a boomer
when it comes to discord. I'mlike, what does this button do?
Oh, that didn't that was not agood thing to press. Samara is
awesome, and she set up our ourDiscord with all the bots, all
(01:02:45):
the channels, all the things,and we do our best to honor
requests to flesh things outmore. So yeah,
Vanessa (01:02:54):
if anyone's on Discord and you're like having fun,
definitely join the train.
Spotting discord, it is a lot offun, so I need to use it more. I
like never use discord anymore.
I have everything fuckingsilenced because I hate
notifications. Anyways, I behammered on. So I forgot to
introduce myself to be in theshow. I'm Vanessa, aka
venustradale, and I'm the chickwho's been posting some
(01:03:17):
partially nude photos lately. Soyeah, go increase my engagement
rate, please. And yeah, we'llsee you next week. I have
honestly no idea when thisepisode's gonna air or what's
gonna come after it, but riv,thank you so much for joining
me. Please come back anytime youwant. And yeah, we'll see well,
(01:03:39):
yeah, I'm just gonna hit thestop recording button because I
just keep hammering.
Unknown (01:03:43):
Okay, okay, bye. Bye.
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