War and Peace in just 7 years (WAPIN7)

It's time to take a short break from the world of War and Peace and dive even further back in time...

What happens when a local family run establishment refuses to engage with repeated noise complaints from a blood thirsty daemon? 

You very much *will* believe the answer. 

 ///

patreon.com/wapin7 - Fight the curse... with money!

wapin7.com/rate 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟-  Rate us, the curse would hate that!
instagram.com/w...

Take that, Curse! We did it!!

Book 9 of War and Peace is officially finished!

It's time to open your favourite box of biscuits, pour yourself a delicious cup of beef tea and sit back and enjoy the mayhem. 

 ///

patreon.com/wapin7 - Fight the curse... with money!

wapin7.com/rate 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟-  Rate us, the curse would hate that!
instagram.com/wapin7podcast - See us, free us! (from...

Pierre's giant red hands quivered as he held aloft the parchment. He read the words again and again and even double checked his addition.

There was no mistake.

A bead of sweat fell from his forehead and splashed onto his baseball-glove sized hand.

He leant back in his chair and began to rock back and forth repeating the same phrase over and over again, "The Prophecy of Eggbag".

Bready or not, it's Peter's week!

It's time to pop on your favourite Peter jumper, roll out of bread, and head on downstairs to see what baked treats St Peter has bestowed upon you.

So raise a loaf and toast with us, "Merry Crustmas one and all!"

It'll all make sense in the end - it always does...

Dough-ho-ho!

 ///

patreon.com/wapin7 - Fight the c...

Pour yourself a final cup of mud and saddle up your favourite pig, cow or even perhaps horse, because it's time to continue forwards, onwards, in the direction of travel! That way! Go!

It's a good day to die (finally!) - the sun is shining, the orders are ready, and the enemy is present. We've got everything we need for a traumatic, poorly executed battle.

Charge!

 ///

patreon.com...

It's raining; it's pouring.
The old, potentially dead man, is snoring.
Nick went to war and found a pub,
When exactly will we be warring?!

 ///

patreon.com/wapin7 - Fight the curse... with money!

wapin7.com/rate 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟-  Rate us, the curse would hate that!
instagram.com/wapin7podcast - See us, free us! (from the curse)

tolstoy@wapin7.com - Humble email, the safest w...

Bags. We thought we knew everything there was to know about them. We thought we'd been inside them all. But what if I told you there was one more bag, one special bag no one had ever seen before - let alone opened.

What if this bag held the power to change everything? Designed by Russia's only human pea this bag could change the war, Andy Pandy, maybe even Napolean himself.

Would you dare to open it? Wou...

Ok, so there's one giant bag and inside that bag there are 9 sub-bags. Each of these 9 sub-bags, apart from bag 9, has other smaller bags inside them - think of them as sub-sub-bags.

Oh, and these bags are filled with people and each bag, including sub-bags and maybe sub-sub-bags, are in competition with each other.

What are the bags and their many many sub-bags fighting for?

Have a listen and find...

Napoleon, we've seen him wild with anger, we've seen him quiver with rage, we've seen him snuff with impunity. Now it's time to see Napoleon calm as a clam - a clam that also happens to control one of the world's most significant military forces.

Fresh from a light ride, and with his full-bodied narcissistic fury bottled safely and healthily inside, clam Napoleon is ready to chat like a big clam.<...

We start with three noble Barry’s: Barry the Bugler, Barry the Bodyguard and Barry the Burger (horse). Will the Barry’s successfully escort their leader, who might also be called Barry, along the yellow brick road to find out who’s behind the curtain?  

Will they succeed? Will they successfully stop the war? Or will they each get a faceful of snuff? 

Whatever happens, we can all agree, it’s absolutely NOT like rain on your wedding da...

Don't be coconut shy, come on down to the WAPIN7 Fête!

We've got dodgems, teacup rides and a coconut shy! Plus an area to sell secondhand goods. It must be fate.

Fancy some candy floss?! Well, the machine is broken so you can't have any.

Oh, and we're off to war...

Again.

 ///

patreon.com/wapin7 - Emerge from the shadows and support the podcast!

We're back for Book 9 and boy is this going to be bad!

Not the podcast, cross our saucy little fingers, but the world of War and Peace.

It's been way too long since we heard from that Napoleon chap and we really got the feeling that he wasn't quite finished last time. Plus we've had quite a bit of peace recently, which makes the title of the book quite ominous indeed.

Whatever happen...

What do you get when you mix the 'wrong type' of bees, a sentient half-dressed bear with a penchant for honey and a child with a gun and a really really nice balloon?

Why, you get the Season 8 special book episode of WAPIN7, is what you get!

And probably an extremely serious concussion which would require immediate medical attention.

Onwards!

To Ashford Forest in East Sussex - to be p...

It's time for the Season 8 Catch-Up Quiz and boy do we have some questions for you!

There are pictures of comets, AI-generated nightmare art, varying degrees of slug speed accuracy and of course a question about the Smurfs. How does this all link to book 8 of War and Peace?

There's only one way to find out...

Onwards!

*Cue Gameshow Music

 ///

Full list of incredible...

The time has finally come - the end of another book is upon us.

Gather round slugs, worms, maggots and humans young,  old and slimy as we seamlessly complete character arcs, wrap up storylines, culminate journeys literal and figurative, and generally tie up loose ends in this decisive season finale.

The slug square is positively quivering with anticipation, and so should you be too.

 Here's to one ...

What happens when you add one more side to a love triangle? What happens when one of those sides is an actual slug? A slug who was hell-bent on abducting one of the sides of the square!

We promise you this all makes perfect sense. Maybe pour yourself a long drink a take a good slug...

///

patreon.com/wapin7 - Slip into action and support the podslime!

wapin7.com/rate 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟-   Slime a quick ...

Incredibly attractive as they may be, slugs are typically not known for their speed or for their clever plans.

Today that all changes. Prepare to meet the slug who has it all... great looks, sure (like all slugs), but also an incredible mensa level planning intellect, and exclusive access to the fastest transport system this side of Prussia.

He's got everything he needs, except for one thing - a slug bride,...

I kissed a slug, and I liked it
Taste of its slime... surprising
I kissed a slug, just to try it
I hope my fiance don't mind it

It felt so wrong, it felt so right
Don't mean I'm a gastropod tonight
I smooched a slug and I liked it
(I liked it)

///

patreon.com/wapin7 - Slip into action and support the podslime!

wapin7.com/rate 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟-   Slime a quick rat...

Slugs: the familiar garden beastie known for their gelatinous trails, unsightly appearance and voracious love of salad.

19th century Russian slugs were a little different - around 6ft tall they were known to roam in pairs, using their incredible influence and good looks to lure unsuspecting victims into questionable slime related situations.

Today we’re going inside the slimy mind of Moscow’s biggest, most prolific slug and his equal...