April 11, 2025 • 29 mins
Christy Howard joins Amy Durham and Michele Davis to share their unique experience on organ donation few have experienced - being both a recipient family and a donor family. Her journey began when her father-in-law received a life-saving liver transplant in his seventies. The miracle wasn't lost on Christy's daughter Ashley, who eagerly registered as an organ donor when getting her learner's permit at 15.
Tragically, just seven months later, Ashley suffered a catastrophic brain injury in a boating accident. After four days of intensive care, she was declared brain dead. Without hesitation, Christy and her husband honored Ashley's wishes, beginning a complex process that would ultimately save four lives - including an 8-year-old girl who received Ashley's heart after being confined to a hospital, dependent on an artificial heart device.
The symmetry is profound: Ashley shared a birthday with her grandfather who received a transplant, spent four days in the hospital and saved four lives. "She literally lives on," Christy explains, finding purpose in this continuation of Ashley's presence in the world.
Christy dispels common misconceptions about organ donation, explaining that medical teams exhaust every life-saving option before donation is considered. She highlights the urgent need - over 100,000 Americans currently await transplants, with 17 dying daily while waiting, and a new name added every eight minutes.
For fifteen years, Christy has channeled her grief into advocacy, educating hospital staff, high school students, and community groups. Through her storytelling, Ashley's impact extends far beyond the four lives she directly saved - countless others have registered as donors after learning about this remarkable young woman's legacy.
Have you registered as an organ donor? More importantly, have you shared your wishes with your family? These conversations matter - you truly have the power to donate life.
"Dream Bird" by Jonny Easton
Thank you for listening to Warrior Moms podcast. It is an honor to share about our beloved children gone too soon, and we hope by telling of our loss, it may help someone in their grief journey. Please note that we are not medical professionals and encourage those listening to seek help from mental health professionals.
We'd love to hear from our followers!
Website: https://www.warriormoms.me/
Facebook: Warrior Moms-The Club No One Wants to Be In
Instagram: WarriorMoms.SurvivingChildLoss
With love,
Warrior Moms Amy & Michele
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello and welcome back to Warrior Moms.
I am Michelle Davis.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
And I am Amy Durham and we are so glad to have y'all
here with our friend, missChristy Howard, talking about
something that's very near anddear to her heart, and it's
organ donation.
This is April when we'refilming this and it is organ
(00:25):
donation awareness month, sothat is a big part of Christy
and Ashley her daughter,ashley's story and how Ashley
lives on, and I just want tohear Christy's.
They have a very unique storyfor organ donation and I'd love
to hear you tell us about that,miss Christy.
Thank you for being here.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
Yes, Well, thank you.
Thank you, Michelle and Amy forhaving me.
As Amy shared, april isNational Donate Life Month, so
there's a lot of awareness andeducation that the Donate life
and various organ there's.
(01:06):
Lifelink of Georgia is theorgan procurement organization
for Georgia.
Each state has their own.
So, yes, organ donation is verynear and dear to our family.
We're kind of unique because weare a recipient family, meaning
(01:26):
my father-in-law received anorgan a liver back in the early
2000s and when Ashley passed shewas a organ donor.
So we've lived through bothTerry's dad.
My father-in-law his name'sWilliam was was very sick with
(01:48):
hepatitis C, which he got from ablood transfusion way back long
, long ago before they did allthe screenings, for you know
when they did blood transfusionsand stuff before they screened
for hepatitis.
So he got hepatitis and becamevery, very sick and was placed
(02:10):
on the list to receive a liverand after about six months of
waiting and him being very, veryill, he received a liver.
He was at Emory Hospital herein Atlanta and he was able to
(02:32):
completely resume a very normallife after receiving his liver.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
And how old was he at that time?
He was about 65.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
Oh good, Around that age.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
Around that age.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
Yeah, that's awesome.
He and Ashley shared the samebirthday, so they've had a very
special bond.
He always said Ashley was thebest birthday gift he'd ever
received, and so she got to seeher papa from very bedridden in
(03:18):
the hospital most of the time,to come home again and lead a
very active life.
So she was, um, very in tune ata young age.
You know we were waiting forthe, for his organ and, and our
(03:41):
kids had a first row seat as towhat that looks like, you know,
to seeing somebody that mightdie because they.
You know there was a chancethat he might not have.
You know he would not havesurvived.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
had he not gotten the organ he would not have
survived.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
He was in a very yeah , he was at that state.
So that was our family'sexperience with being a
recipient.
And then we fast forward it towhen Ashley turned 15, she went
and got and my husband justcorrected me he was 71 when he
(04:24):
got his liver.
So I was hesitating, it's youknow.
So much has happened since thenyes, no, that's what I was
saying about yeah, thank you.
So she went to get her learner'spermit.
And when you go to get yourlearner's permit at 15, they ask
(04:44):
you on there if you want to bean organ donor.
That's your first opportunityand Ashley was so excited to
sign up at it.
I have a picture of her holdingher permit.
And so little did we know thatshe turned 15 in October seven.
Seven months later she would beseverely injured, brain injury
(05:16):
suffered from a boating accident.
Just to refresh her, we were atthe lake and she was being
pulled on the tube on the backof our boat and fell off into
the water.
And a boat did not see her inthe water and ran her over and
the propeller cut her on theback of the head and caused a
severe brain injury.
And four days later she waspronounced brain dead.
So we were approached by thedoctors when they started the
(05:38):
brain death test, asking us ifwe thought about or considered
Ashley becoming a donor, and weimmediately said oh, we don't
even have to think about it.
Talk about it, number one.
She is one which they did notknow.
(06:00):
So that goes to one of themyths that's often out there.
There was no asking us when wearrived at the hospital.
If she was a donor.
There was no asking us in thosefirst three days of treatment
where they were doing everythingthey could to save her.
If she was a donor, no onetried to dig through her purse
and pull out her license to seeif she was a donor.
(06:23):
Yeah, it's just a huge myth.
The doctors and nurses are verymuch there to try to do
everything they can to save yourlife and we witnessed that
firsthand and so.
But we did say she was a donor,our, you know.
We shared with them ourfamily's story of being on the
other side as a recipient, andthat was Ashley's wish and that
(06:47):
we absolutely wanted to moveforward with that.
So that was.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
Now as much sadness as it brought you to say goodbye
to Ashley.
At that time, did y'all have alittle bit of joy, knowing that
you were giving someone elselife like someone had given your
father-in-law life, Exactly?
Speaker 3 (07:10):
Or were you just?
so in the broken that you didn'trecognize it at the time we
absolutely recognized it becausewe had been at the hospital day
in and day out for four days.
Four know this horrific day atthe lake that she could turn,
(07:32):
she could save lives, and wewere very much.
(07:57):
And there was still even atthat point it was still a lot of
things had to be done to makeher body stay, her organs stay
viable for transplant.
So once you're um, you'redeclared dead first by the
doctors, right, whether it's acardiac death or a brain death
(08:17):
test.
So Ashley was, was brain dead.
And so at that point LifeLinkedGeorgia has a team that comes
in and takes over.
They have nurses, they havetheir own doctors, they're
separate from the hospital.
So they come in and they startall their testing and to make
sure what you know what's goingto what's going to be viable and
(08:39):
they're on a time clock to beable to make that happen.
So then that process began.
We're like, yes, we want her tobe a donor and make seeing if
that could happen.
If that could happen, what?
What she was going to be ableto donate.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
So Were you at the hospital during that whole time.
Speaker 3 (09:03):
We were we were there while they were prepping her
body, keeping her body, theyactually you know they start
pumping so much fluids and doinga lot of things just to really
keep her organs functioning.
With a brain death, obviouslyit's different than if you have
a cardiac death or have amassive heart attack.
Obviously your heart's not goingto be there If there's some
(09:26):
kind of injury from an accidentor a crash or whatever, then
your organs shut down and itcan't happen.
So not everyone that dies.
So not everyone that diesthat's another myth can be an
organ donor, but oftentimes theycan donate tissue or other
things that can save people'slife Tendons, skin bone nerves
(09:49):
valves, that kind of thing.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
I had no idea.
I just think about the bigorgans like the like the heart,
liver, the lung, you know, butoh wow.
Speaker 3 (10:10):
Yeah, but it's organs and tissue, you know.
So, heart, definitely, kidneys,lung, pancreas, liver,
intestines, corneas, skin, needyou know?
They need things to be able towalk again or see again or
whatever.
So but it just depends.
Ashley ended up saving thelives of four others because her
heart, her two kidneys and herliver could be donated.
(10:33):
Even with her, there was herlungs, she was in lake water,
she, you know there was a lot toit because of her skin or some
of that.
I don't even really know some ofthe reasons why, but just
because of her situation, of howshe died, and that there were
(10:56):
some things that couldn't bedonated and the amount of time.
We're talking four days fromthe time that the accident
happened.
So there's just so much behindthe scenes because, as you asked
, michelle, yes, we were thereuntil she was taken down to the
OR for her organs to beharvested.
They flew in the doctors, theydo it right, she was at Grady,
(11:21):
so they're a transplant center,so they could do it all there
and we knew that her heart andher heart for sure.
We knew that was happeningbecause they kind of went out of
.
Typically they're in a region ofwhere where organs go based on
(11:42):
geographic location because ofthe time that they have to, and
the girl that was the number oneon the list was was out of
state, a little bit further away, and so they were flying those
doctors in and everything for it.
So we knew that that was allhappening and again it's just we
.
You don't know until thesurgery's over if the organs
(12:07):
make it, if they survive, andthen they get transplanted and
if they take or whatever.
So there's just, there's justso much to it that people don't
understand.
It's not that just someone diesand they just take it.
You know can take all theorgans, or that they're going to
work, or that you know whatthey have to do to match them
(12:28):
and all that.
So it's quite a process to makeit really happen.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
But you knew that, ashley, four of her organs have
helped four people.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
Just the beautiful intersections of it all, that
her birthday was the same asyour father-in-law, that she was
there in the hospital four daysand then she was able to save
four people.
I mean, it's just somebeautiful symmetry.
Yeah, it's unbelievable.
Speaker 3 (12:59):
I know where I got the 62 number from that.
A man that age received herliver, so he was a little bit
older.
Gentleman received her liver,and he received it at Emory too,
so that was interesting he hadthe jackpot on that.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
That older man got that precious little liver.
I know he got a beautiful thingright there, didn't he?
I?
Speaker 3 (13:24):
love that then two, two different adult females each
received a kidney, and then ayoung girl that was eight years
old received her heart.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
So oh my gosh that I'm.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
I'm not trying to discredit any of those, but that
eight-year-old's mama's heart.
I know, you know the joy thatshe had that day that phone call
right that it was happeningthat it was happening.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
Yeah, she was being kept alive with what's called a
Berlin heart.
That, just that, basically, youknow, keeps your body going,
that she, she, wasn't going tobe able to function anymore
outside of a hospital settinguntil she received a transplant.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
That is so moving, christy, that is, I'm kind of at
a loss for words just currentlyit's just that hits you hard it
does.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
And you know that's what.
When I, over the years becauseit's been almost 15 years in
june will be 15 years sinceashley um donated her organs and
over the years of people that Ijust don't know if I would have
been able to do that if it wasmy child and I said okay so are
(14:44):
you saying, if your child wasdying and needed a new heart,
you wouldn't take a heart either?
Yeah, yeah.
What a, what a?
Speaker 1 (14:55):
what a powerful question.
Speaker 3 (14:57):
Um yeah right, see, and I'm I'm the opposite.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
I I could 100 do it you know, alec wasn't in a
position to be able to donateany.
Yeah there's a lot or anythingand I think that that would be
the biggest gift of all is it'sthe gift of life for somebody
else, and if I'd been asked forhim, then absolutely take as
much as possible.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
Yeah, yeah, we had said the exact same thing and
because it was a crime scene, wewere denied, of course, because
they had to, you know, completeso much work.
It's like, oh my gosh, and I Ican understand why it was an
immediate yes.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
Yeah, and that's in her situation brain death.
You know that your, your organsare still basically viable and
functioning and really be, youknow, the ideal candidate organs
to stay viable, even though allof her still weren't even with
that situation.
(16:01):
So it's just that's what I liketo be able to educate people on
it.
It is just not.
It's just not this easy processthat people think it is from.
Misunderstand that it is.
You know that it has.
There has to be so many thingsthat just go so right for it to
happen, which is why there'sover a hundred thousand people,
(16:25):
as of today, are on the nationaltransplant waiting list and 17
people die every day waiting forum, a transplant.
17 people and basically a newname is added to the wait list
every eight minutes.
Oh gosh, oh my gosh.
(16:48):
There's a huge, a huge impactthat the donors can with saving
up to eight lives, you know,with the organ and then with the
organs, the main organsthemselves, but then 70, you
know, 75 other lives couldtheoretically be impacted with
things with the skin and tissueand that kind of donation.
(17:09):
So, but I think that there'sbeen a lot of education done
over the years, that the myth ofway back in the time about.
You know the ambulance driversare literally going to go in
your purse and pull out yourplaces.
If you're an organ donor andthat they're just going to let
you die right then to get yourorgan.
(17:29):
So that's never made sense.
It's like wait, they're goingto let you die so someone else
can look like they're going topick who they're going to let
die and they don't know eitherone of you, yeah, right.
Oh my gosh.
I'm afraid they won't save mylife.
But yeah, so 2024 was actually.
(17:50):
The US surpassed 48,000 organtransplants, but when you know
that there's 100,000 peoplewaiting, you know that's still.
You know there's still like.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
I said Volunteer numbers.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
Yes, for sure, you speak out and you go and you
speak to.
Who all do you speak to?
Because I know you're anadvocate for this, like tenfold.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
So LifeLink of Georgia, we're volunteer
speakers for them.
So a lot of times it'seducating even the nursing staff
at hospitals as they're goingthrough new the nurse
orientation.
The part of their orientationis learning.
You know how to know when tomake that phone call to Lifelink
(18:48):
to let them know.
You know that there's apossible donor situation and how
to be able to be there for thefamilies and that sort of thing.
So we'll, we have done a lot ofthat.
You know, over the years We'vebeen asked to speak at high
(19:10):
schools to kids that are, youknow, getting ready to get their
driver's license license.
So we just various.
You know we've been interviewedby magazine newspaper articles
just over the years, but most ofit comes through LifeLink of
Georgia because we're registered, as you know, volunteer
(19:32):
speakers there.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
And I remember you saying one time and I don't know
when we were talking about this, but it's important for those
nurses, those people right therein one time and I don't know
when we were talking about this,but it's important for those
nurses, those people right therein the trenches during the time
to approach the parents because, even though you knew she
wanted to be an organ donor, youknew that the answer was yes.
(19:56):
It wasn't in the forefront ofyour mind.
Speaker 3 (19:59):
Yeah, and I think that their role is really to
notify LifeLink of Georgia andthey have someone on staff there
at the hospital and they're theones that will approach the
families to keep the hospitalsand the doctors out of it, but
they're still going to be there.
(20:20):
They may come in and say wewant to ask you to start
thinking about this.
The Life Bank of Georgiahospital liaison might, and then
they might go and let thefamily think about it.
Well, the nurse may walk in theroom and you know they may ask
(20:42):
the nurse.
You know, have you ever seen,like you know my child's been
declared brain dead?
Have you ever seen someone comeback after they've been
declared brain dead?
So you know they they're therefor support.
You know that they don't knowwhen they're going to be in the
situation of when they and and Ishare that with them that even
(21:06):
though Terry's dad was arecipient the the four days that
we were up at Grady before wewere asked about that, it never,
ever, ever crossed our mindgoing oh, we better check on
this.
I wonder if she can be an organdonor, like we never even
thought of it.
If they wouldn't have asked us,we would have left the hospital
(21:30):
without her being a donor,because I don't think we would
have ever thought of it.
We probably would have laterand been upset, have ever
thought of it Maybe we probablywould have later and been upset,
but it has just meant so muchto us that we don't think of it.
I mean, ashley, you know, wentto be with Jesus.
(21:51):
Her soul did, but she literallylives on through.
Her heart is beating in anotherperson's body now her kidneys
and her liver.
She lives on, and not only inthose lives, but through the
others that have been educatedand have learned about organ
(22:12):
donation through her story.
She was 15 when it happened.
Everyone was turning all of herfriends, everyone at Sequoia
High School, everyone where shewent middle school, elementary,
King's Ridge, Christian.
These kids knew about it andwe've just heard of story after
story of people that have signedup and the impact that her
(22:38):
organ donation story goes farbeyond those, just those four
people that she saved.
I think it's just many, many,many lives that have been
touched because of it.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
I love it.
I love it and it's because ofyour strength that you keep
talking and spreading the wordand everything and not letting
it stop there, and you arehelping save other lives and
you're saving a lot of our livesthat were your mom's, because
you were such a true spirit ofjoy, of finding joy.
Speaker 1 (23:15):
Yeah, and you started started our group, so we're so
grateful for you.
Speaker 3 (23:20):
One of the originals put it that way.
There's been a lot of peoplethat have been a part of it, and
I just happened to be one ofthe originals that was there for
our first meeting I think itwas in 2017-ish and kind of
(23:41):
helped keep it going, justbecause I administer the
Facebook page and I'm the onethat gets a meeting on the
calendar every month.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
Yeah, you still got the invite.
Who's going to host?
Who's going to host?
Speaker 3 (23:54):
I make it happen every month, but I just feel
it's just a huge privilege to mebecause I think I'm 15 years
down the road.
It's just an honor to be ableto try to, to any way that I can
offer some sort of comfort orjust the feeling of knowing,
(24:18):
just being able to look at me,cause I remember that feeling
when I was in my early years oflooking at people that were 10,
15 years, 20 years down the roadand saying, oh, they made it.
You know, there's they're thereand they look pretty good, you
know.
So I can do this too, and yougood, you know so I can do this
(24:39):
too, and you can.
You know we've talked about that.
It's just.
It's a lot of hard work andbeing intentional about, about
finding joy and experiencing joywhen, when those moments come
to you.
So, and being able to shareAshley's story and speak about
(24:59):
organ donation and the impactthat it can have on lives and
try to make people think aboutthat.
You know from we've all learnedthat you just don't know what
can happen in your life from oneday to the other, and you know
that you could be on either sideof it in need of an organ or a
family member donating and to,to, to think about it and tell
(25:23):
your family members so that itshouldn't have to be a hard
decision for anyone to make.
If, if, if they know your, youknow, know your wishes, so um
and so you know, so we have leftthat we can do in Ashley's
honor.
You know that's, that's beenwhat we chose to to do for her.
Speaker 1 (25:44):
So I love that.
So, being that this is themonth of organ donation, I know
I'm going to share about yourstory.
I did with my family and I havea teenager that's driving and
just by talking about Ashley andyou and Terry, you know, I got
(26:06):
to hear that she wanted to be adonor which I hadn't known about
.
So I think that's important toshare.
You know, now we have apersonal story to talk and share
about, so thank you for doingthat.
Speaker 3 (26:19):
I think has happened with her over the years, that
people knew her and then they'veheard the story and they've
continued to tell the story andjust the awareness, because it's
not something a lot of peoplethink about.
You know it's.
It's not something that usuallycomes up every day until you
(26:40):
know.
Oftentimes it is when they're16 years old and go and get
their driver's license and theyhave to check that box and being
like yeah, I remember when weturned 16 or 20 or whatever,
like that get renewals, Do youwant to be an organ donor?
Speaker 2 (26:54):
And you check yes, so you would get $10 off.
That's right.
Back in the early days of thatwe were like, yeah, I'll take
the discount.
Speaker 3 (27:09):
For sure.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
There is more to it than the driving license
discount yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
Well, and I just wanted to remind the listeners.
So, if you wanted to hear moreabout who Ashley was, Christy
does a beautiful job talkingabout Ashley and, of course, the
accident, but just how she andher family worked through their
grief and the strategies thatshe figured you know, figured
out of how to you know, find herjoy that she talks about, and
(27:42):
so her episode is what'd you say, Amy, 18?
Speaker 2 (27:45):
Yes, her episode is number 18.
And we also had her sister onAnnie.
Speaker 3 (27:53):
No, my daughter oh Ashley's sister, ashley's sister
.
Speaker 2 (27:56):
My daughter oh Ashley Ashley sister, my daughter,
christy's daughter, who isAshley's sister, and she was on
episode 26.
Speaker 3 (28:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
So you can hear a siblings View of having, you
know, having grown up withoutthe sister and everything.
So it's it's a full circle here.
You know having growing upwithout the sister and
everything.
So it's a full circle here.
You know, we've got mom, we'vegot sister and we've got her
living on throughout the storiesthe life and you know four
(28:29):
other lives.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
Well, thank you, christy, for being here, and I
know I'm going to continue toshare throughout April, but of
course, just in general, aboutAshley and you and organ
donation and enjoy spring break.
Speaker 3 (28:43):
Thank you all so much for having me and giving me the
opportunity to share this sideof Ashley's story.
I love it.
You have the power to donatelife.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
Yes, power, power, power.
Speaker 1 (28:54):
Thank you so much, and you can visit our website
too, wwwwarriormomsme, and youcan see just precious pictures
of Ashley under Christy Howard'sbio page.
Yep.
Speaker 2 (29:08):
Go visit and thank y'all for listening.
We'll talk to y'all next time.
All right, bye, bye.
Hello and welcome back to Warrior Moms.
I am Michelle Davis.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
And I am Amy Durham and we are so glad to have y'all
here with our friend, missChristy Howard, talking about
something that's very near anddear to her heart, and it's
organ donation.
This is April when we'refilming this and it is organ
(00:25):
donation awareness month, sothat is a big part of Christy
and Ashley her daughter,ashley's story and how Ashley
lives on, and I just want tohear Christy's.
They have a very unique storyfor organ donation and I'd love
to hear you tell us about that,miss Christy.
Thank you for being here.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
Yes, Well, thank you.
Thank you, Michelle and Amy forhaving me.
As Amy shared, april isNational Donate Life Month, so
there's a lot of awareness andeducation that the Donate life
and various organ there's.
(01:06):
Lifelink of Georgia is theorgan procurement organization
for Georgia.
Each state has their own.
So, yes, organ donation is verynear and dear to our family.
We're kind of unique because weare a recipient family, meaning
(01:26):
my father-in-law received anorgan a liver back in the early
2000s and when Ashley passed shewas a organ donor.
So we've lived through bothTerry's dad.
My father-in-law his name'sWilliam was was very sick with
(01:48):
hepatitis C, which he got from ablood transfusion way back long
, long ago before they did allthe screenings, for you know
when they did blood transfusionsand stuff before they screened
for hepatitis.
So he got hepatitis and becamevery, very sick and was placed
(02:10):
on the list to receive a liverand after about six months of
waiting and him being very, veryill, he received a liver.
He was at Emory Hospital herein Atlanta and he was able to
(02:32):
completely resume a very normallife after receiving his liver.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
And how old was he at that time?
He was about 65.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
Oh good, Around that age.
Speaker 2 (02:52):
Around that age.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
Yeah, that's awesome.
He and Ashley shared the samebirthday, so they've had a very
special bond.
He always said Ashley was thebest birthday gift he'd ever
received, and so she got to seeher papa from very bedridden in
(03:18):
the hospital most of the time,to come home again and lead a
very active life.
So she was, um, very in tune ata young age.
You know we were waiting forthe, for his organ and, and our
(03:41):
kids had a first row seat as towhat that looks like, you know,
to seeing somebody that mightdie because they.
You know there was a chancethat he might not have.
You know he would not havesurvived.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
had he not gotten the organ he would not have
survived.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
He was in a very yeah , he was at that state.
So that was our family'sexperience with being a
recipient.
And then we fast forward it towhen Ashley turned 15, she went
and got and my husband justcorrected me he was 71 when he
(04:24):
got his liver.
So I was hesitating, it's youknow.
So much has happened since thenyes, no, that's what I was
saying about yeah, thank you.
So she went to get her learner'spermit.
And when you go to get yourlearner's permit at 15, they ask
(04:44):
you on there if you want to bean organ donor.
That's your first opportunityand Ashley was so excited to
sign up at it.
I have a picture of her holdingher permit.
And so little did we know thatshe turned 15 in October seven.
Seven months later she would beseverely injured, brain injury
(05:16):
suffered from a boating accident.
Just to refresh her, we were atthe lake and she was being
pulled on the tube on the backof our boat and fell off into
the water.
And a boat did not see her inthe water and ran her over and
the propeller cut her on theback of the head and caused a
severe brain injury.
And four days later she waspronounced brain dead.
So we were approached by thedoctors when they started the
(05:38):
brain death test, asking us ifwe thought about or considered
Ashley becoming a donor, and weimmediately said oh, we don't
even have to think about it.
Talk about it, number one.
She is one which they did notknow.
(06:00):
So that goes to one of themyths that's often out there.
There was no asking us when wearrived at the hospital.
If she was a donor.
There was no asking us in thosefirst three days of treatment
where they were doing everythingthey could to save her.
If she was a donor, no onetried to dig through her purse
and pull out her license to seeif she was a donor.
(06:23):
Yeah, it's just a huge myth.
The doctors and nurses are verymuch there to try to do
everything they can to save yourlife and we witnessed that
firsthand and so.
But we did say she was a donor,our, you know.
We shared with them ourfamily's story of being on the
other side as a recipient, andthat was Ashley's wish and that
(06:47):
we absolutely wanted to moveforward with that.
So that was.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
Now as much sadness as it brought you to say goodbye
to Ashley.
At that time, did y'all have alittle bit of joy, knowing that
you were giving someone elselife like someone had given your
father-in-law life, Exactly?
Speaker 3 (07:10):
Or were you just?
so in the broken that you didn'trecognize it at the time we
absolutely recognized it becausewe had been at the hospital day
in and day out for four days.
Four know this horrific day atthe lake that she could turn,
(07:32):
she could save lives, and wewere very much.
(07:57):
And there was still even atthat point it was still a lot of
things had to be done to makeher body stay, her organs stay
viable for transplant.
So once you're um, you'redeclared dead first by the
doctors, right, whether it's acardiac death or a brain death
(08:17):
test.
So Ashley was, was brain dead.
And so at that point LifeLinkedGeorgia has a team that comes
in and takes over.
They have nurses, they havetheir own doctors, they're
separate from the hospital.
So they come in and they startall their testing and to make
sure what you know what's goingto what's going to be viable and
(08:39):
they're on a time clock to beable to make that happen.
So then that process began.
We're like, yes, we want her tobe a donor and make seeing if
that could happen.
If that could happen, what?
What she was going to be ableto donate.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
So Were you at the hospital during that whole time.
Speaker 3 (09:03):
We were we were there while they were prepping her
body, keeping her body, theyactually you know they start
pumping so much fluids and doinga lot of things just to really
keep her organs functioning.
With a brain death, obviouslyit's different than if you have
a cardiac death or have amassive heart attack.
Obviously your heart's not goingto be there If there's some
(09:26):
kind of injury from an accidentor a crash or whatever, then
your organs shut down and itcan't happen.
So not everyone that dies.
So not everyone that diesthat's another myth can be an
organ donor, but oftentimes theycan donate tissue or other
things that can save people'slife Tendons, skin bone nerves
(09:49):
valves, that kind of thing.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
I had no idea.
I just think about the bigorgans like the like the heart,
liver, the lung, you know, butoh wow.
Speaker 3 (10:10):
Yeah, but it's organs and tissue, you know.
So, heart, definitely, kidneys,lung, pancreas, liver,
intestines, corneas, skin, needyou know?
They need things to be able towalk again or see again or
whatever.
So but it just depends.
Ashley ended up saving thelives of four others because her
heart, her two kidneys and herliver could be donated.
(10:33):
Even with her, there was herlungs, she was in lake water,
she, you know there was a lot toit because of her skin or some
of that.
I don't even really know some ofthe reasons why, but just
because of her situation, of howshe died, and that there were
(10:56):
some things that couldn't bedonated and the amount of time.
We're talking four days fromthe time that the accident
happened.
So there's just so much behindthe scenes because, as you asked
, michelle, yes, we were thereuntil she was taken down to the
OR for her organs to beharvested.
They flew in the doctors, theydo it right, she was at Grady,
(11:21):
so they're a transplant center,so they could do it all there
and we knew that her heart andher heart for sure.
We knew that was happeningbecause they kind of went out of
.
Typically they're in a region ofwhere where organs go based on
(11:42):
geographic location because ofthe time that they have to, and
the girl that was the number oneon the list was was out of
state, a little bit further away, and so they were flying those
doctors in and everything for it.
So we knew that that was allhappening and again it's just we
.
You don't know until thesurgery's over if the organs
(12:07):
make it, if they survive, andthen they get transplanted and
if they take or whatever.
So there's just, there's justso much to it that people don't
understand.
It's not that just someone diesand they just take it.
You know can take all theorgans, or that they're going to
work, or that you know whatthey have to do to match them
(12:28):
and all that.
So it's quite a process to makeit really happen.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
But you knew that, ashley, four of her organs have
helped four people.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
Just the beautiful intersections of it all, that
her birthday was the same asyour father-in-law, that she was
there in the hospital four daysand then she was able to save
four people.
I mean, it's just somebeautiful symmetry.
Yeah, it's unbelievable.
Speaker 3 (12:59):
I know where I got the 62 number from that.
A man that age received herliver, so he was a little bit
older.
Gentleman received her liver,and he received it at Emory too,
so that was interesting he hadthe jackpot on that.
Speaker 2 (13:17):
That older man got that precious little liver.
I know he got a beautiful thingright there, didn't he?
I?
Speaker 3 (13:24):
love that then two, two different adult females each
received a kidney, and then ayoung girl that was eight years
old received her heart.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
So oh my gosh that I'm.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
I'm not trying to discredit any of those, but that
eight-year-old's mama's heart.
I know, you know the joy thatshe had that day that phone call
right that it was happeningthat it was happening.
Speaker 3 (13:55):
Yeah, she was being kept alive with what's called a
Berlin heart.
That, just that, basically, youknow, keeps your body going,
that she, she, wasn't going tobe able to function anymore
outside of a hospital settinguntil she received a transplant.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
That is so moving, christy, that is, I'm kind of at
a loss for words just currentlyit's just that hits you hard it
does.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
And you know that's what.
When I, over the years becauseit's been almost 15 years in
june will be 15 years sinceashley um donated her organs and
over the years of people that Ijust don't know if I would have
been able to do that if it wasmy child and I said okay so are
(14:44):
you saying, if your child wasdying and needed a new heart,
you wouldn't take a heart either?
Yeah, yeah.
What a, what a?
Speaker 1 (14:55):
what a powerful question.
Speaker 3 (14:57):
Um yeah right, see, and I'm I'm the opposite.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
I I could 100 do it you know, alec wasn't in a
position to be able to donateany.
Yeah there's a lot or anythingand I think that that would be
the biggest gift of all is it'sthe gift of life for somebody
else, and if I'd been asked forhim, then absolutely take as
much as possible.
Speaker 1 (15:23):
Yeah, yeah, we had said the exact same thing and
because it was a crime scene, wewere denied, of course, because
they had to, you know, completeso much work.
It's like, oh my gosh, and I Ican understand why it was an
immediate yes.
Speaker 3 (15:41):
Yeah, and that's in her situation brain death.
You know that your, your organsare still basically viable and
functioning and really be, youknow, the ideal candidate organs
to stay viable, even though allof her still weren't even with
that situation.
(16:01):
So it's just that's what I liketo be able to educate people on
it.
It is just not.
It's just not this easy processthat people think it is from.
Misunderstand that it is.
You know that it has.
There has to be so many thingsthat just go so right for it to
happen, which is why there'sover a hundred thousand people,
(16:25):
as of today, are on the nationaltransplant waiting list and 17
people die every day waiting forum, a transplant.
17 people and basically a newname is added to the wait list
every eight minutes.
Oh gosh, oh my gosh.
(16:48):
There's a huge, a huge impactthat the donors can with saving
up to eight lives, you know,with the organ and then with the
organs, the main organsthemselves, but then 70, you
know, 75 other lives couldtheoretically be impacted with
things with the skin and tissueand that kind of donation.
(17:09):
So, but I think that there'sbeen a lot of education done
over the years, that the myth ofway back in the time about.
You know the ambulance driversare literally going to go in
your purse and pull out yourplaces.
If you're an organ donor andthat they're just going to let
you die right then to get yourorgan.
(17:29):
So that's never made sense.
It's like wait, they're goingto let you die so someone else
can look like they're going topick who they're going to let
die and they don't know eitherone of you, yeah, right.
Oh my gosh.
I'm afraid they won't save mylife.
But yeah, so 2024 was actually.
(17:50):
The US surpassed 48,000 organtransplants, but when you know
that there's 100,000 peoplewaiting, you know that's still.
You know there's still like.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
I said Volunteer numbers.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
Yes, for sure, you speak out and you go and you
speak to.
Who all do you speak to?
Because I know you're anadvocate for this, like tenfold.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
So LifeLink of Georgia, we're volunteer
speakers for them.
So a lot of times it'seducating even the nursing staff
at hospitals as they're goingthrough new the nurse
orientation.
The part of their orientationis learning.
You know how to know when tomake that phone call to Lifelink
(18:48):
to let them know.
You know that there's apossible donor situation and how
to be able to be there for thefamilies and that sort of thing.
So we'll, we have done a lot ofthat.
You know, over the years We'vebeen asked to speak at high
(19:10):
schools to kids that are, youknow, getting ready to get their
driver's license license.
So we just various.
You know we've been interviewedby magazine newspaper articles
just over the years, but most ofit comes through LifeLink of
Georgia because we're registered, as you know, volunteer
(19:32):
speakers there.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
And I remember you saying one time and I don't know
when we were talking about this, but it's important for those
nurses, those people right therein one time and I don't know
when we were talking about this,but it's important for those
nurses, those people right therein the trenches during the time
to approach the parents because, even though you knew she
wanted to be an organ donor, youknew that the answer was yes.
(19:56):
It wasn't in the forefront ofyour mind.
Speaker 3 (19:59):
Yeah, and I think that their role is really to
notify LifeLink of Georgia andthey have someone on staff there
at the hospital and they're theones that will approach the
families to keep the hospitalsand the doctors out of it, but
they're still going to be there.
(20:20):
They may come in and say wewant to ask you to start
thinking about this.
The Life Bank of Georgiahospital liaison might, and then
they might go and let thefamily think about it.
Well, the nurse may walk in theroom and you know they may ask
(20:42):
the nurse.
You know, have you ever seen,like you know my child's been
declared brain dead?
Have you ever seen someone comeback after they've been
declared brain dead?
So you know they they're therefor support.
You know that they don't knowwhen they're going to be in the
situation of when they and and Ishare that with them that even
(21:06):
though Terry's dad was arecipient the the four days that
we were up at Grady before wewere asked about that, it never,
ever, ever crossed our mindgoing oh, we better check on
this.
I wonder if she can be an organdonor, like we never even
thought of it.
If they wouldn't have asked us,we would have left the hospital
(21:30):
without her being a donor,because I don't think we would
have ever thought of it.
We probably would have laterand been upset, have ever
thought of it Maybe we probablywould have later and been upset,
but it has just meant so muchto us that we don't think of it.
I mean, ashley, you know, wentto be with Jesus.
(21:51):
Her soul did, but she literallylives on through.
Her heart is beating in anotherperson's body now her kidneys
and her liver.
She lives on, and not only inthose lives, but through the
others that have been educatedand have learned about organ
(22:12):
donation through her story.
She was 15 when it happened.
Everyone was turning all of herfriends, everyone at Sequoia
High School, everyone where shewent middle school, elementary,
King's Ridge, Christian.
These kids knew about it andwe've just heard of story after
story of people that have signedup and the impact that her
(22:38):
organ donation story goes farbeyond those, just those four
people that she saved.
I think it's just many, many,many lives that have been
touched because of it.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
I love it.
I love it and it's because ofyour strength that you keep
talking and spreading the wordand everything and not letting
it stop there, and you arehelping save other lives and
you're saving a lot of our livesthat were your mom's, because
you were such a true spirit ofjoy, of finding joy.
Speaker 1 (23:15):
Yeah, and you started started our group, so we're so
grateful for you.
Speaker 3 (23:20):
One of the originals put it that way.
There's been a lot of peoplethat have been a part of it, and
I just happened to be one ofthe originals that was there for
our first meeting I think itwas in 2017-ish and kind of
(23:41):
helped keep it going, justbecause I administer the
Facebook page and I'm the onethat gets a meeting on the
calendar every month.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
Yeah, you still got the invite.
Who's going to host?
Who's going to host?
Speaker 3 (23:54):
I make it happen every month, but I just feel
it's just a huge privilege to mebecause I think I'm 15 years
down the road.
It's just an honor to be ableto try to, to any way that I can
offer some sort of comfort orjust the feeling of knowing,
(24:18):
just being able to look at me,cause I remember that feeling
when I was in my early years oflooking at people that were 10,
15 years, 20 years down the roadand saying, oh, they made it.
You know, there's they're thereand they look pretty good, you
know.
So I can do this too, and yougood, you know so I can do this
(24:39):
too, and you can.
You know we've talked about that.
It's just.
It's a lot of hard work andbeing intentional about, about
finding joy and experiencing joywhen, when those moments come
to you.
So, and being able to shareAshley's story and speak about
(24:59):
organ donation and the impactthat it can have on lives and
try to make people think aboutthat.
You know from we've all learnedthat you just don't know what
can happen in your life from oneday to the other, and you know
that you could be on either sideof it in need of an organ or a
family member donating and to,to, to think about it and tell
(25:23):
your family members so that itshouldn't have to be a hard
decision for anyone to make.
If, if, if they know your, youknow, know your wishes, so um
and so you know, so we have leftthat we can do in Ashley's
honor.
You know that's, that's beenwhat we chose to to do for her.
Speaker 1 (25:44):
So I love that.
So, being that this is themonth of organ donation, I know
I'm going to share about yourstory.
I did with my family and I havea teenager that's driving and
just by talking about Ashley andyou and Terry, you know, I got
(26:06):
to hear that she wanted to be adonor which I hadn't known about
.
So I think that's important toshare.
You know, now we have apersonal story to talk and share
about, so thank you for doingthat.
Speaker 3 (26:19):
I think has happened with her over the years, that
people knew her and then they'veheard the story and they've
continued to tell the story andjust the awareness, because it's
not something a lot of peoplethink about.
You know it's.
It's not something that usuallycomes up every day until you
(26:40):
know.
Oftentimes it is when they're16 years old and go and get
their driver's license and theyhave to check that box and being
like yeah, I remember when weturned 16 or 20 or whatever,
like that get renewals, Do youwant to be an organ donor?
Speaker 2 (26:54):
And you check yes, so you would get $10 off.
That's right.
Back in the early days of thatwe were like, yeah, I'll take
the discount.
Speaker 3 (27:09):
For sure.
Speaker 2 (27:12):
There is more to it than the driving license
discount yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
Well, and I just wanted to remind the listeners.
So, if you wanted to hear moreabout who Ashley was, Christy
does a beautiful job talkingabout Ashley and, of course, the
accident, but just how she andher family worked through their
grief and the strategies thatshe figured you know, figured
out of how to you know, find herjoy that she talks about, and
(27:42):
so her episode is what'd you say, Amy, 18?
Speaker 2 (27:45):
Yes, her episode is number 18.
And we also had her sister onAnnie.
Speaker 3 (27:53):
No, my daughter oh Ashley's sister, ashley's sister
.
Speaker 2 (27:56):
My daughter oh Ashley Ashley sister, my daughter,
christy's daughter, who isAshley's sister, and she was on
episode 26.
Speaker 3 (28:05):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:05):
So you can hear a siblings View of having, you
know, having grown up withoutthe sister and everything.
So it's it's a full circle here.
You know having growing upwithout the sister and
everything.
So it's a full circle here.
You know, we've got mom, we'vegot sister and we've got her
living on throughout the storiesthe life and you know four
(28:29):
other lives.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
Well, thank you, christy, for being here, and I
know I'm going to continue toshare throughout April, but of
course, just in general, aboutAshley and you and organ
donation and enjoy spring break.
Speaker 3 (28:43):
Thank you all so much for having me and giving me the
opportunity to share this sideof Ashley's story.
I love it.
You have the power to donatelife.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
Yes, power, power, power.
Speaker 1 (28:54):
Thank you so much, and you can visit our website
too, wwwwarriormomsme, and youcan see just precious pictures
of Ashley under Christy Howard'sbio page.
Yep.
Speaker 2 (29:08):
Go visit and thank y'all for listening.
We'll talk to y'all next time.
All right, bye, bye.
Popular Podcasts
United States of Kennedy
United States of Kennedy is a podcast about our cultural fascination with the Kennedy dynasty. Every week, hosts Lyra Smith and George Civeris go into one aspect of the Kennedy story.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com