April 3, 2025 • 38 mins
What happens when grief and love collide? Robyn and Bart's powerful story answers this question with extraordinary grace and honesty.
When Robyn lost her children Shaun and Morgan in a devastating house fire, she never imagined finding love again. Yet a year after the fire, she found herself on a dating app, boldly telling a stranger named Bart about the worst night of her life. "I come with no things, but I come with a lot of baggage," she admits with characteristic candor. Rather than running, Bart listened with compassion that would become the hallmark of their relationship.
Their journey defies conventional wisdom about grief and relationships. Bart fell deeply in love not just with Robyn, but with Shaun and Morgan too—children he would never physically meet but whose presence became integral to their family life. Meanwhile, Bart's young daughter Isabelle embraced them as her "bonus brother and sister," asking questions about them and carrying their stories forward in the most beautiful way.
The most remarkable aspect of Robyn and Bart's relationship is their authentic approach to balancing joy and sorrow. They've created space for both celebration and remembrance, exemplified in their Disney wedding where Shaun and Morgan's photos adorned Robyn's bouquet. As Robyn puts it, "We're a family of five and we'll always be a family of five, but only getting to celebrate earthly things as a family of three is sad."
Their story offers profound lessons about resilience, honest communication, and finding purpose through pain. They've established a foundation in Shaun and Morgan's names, with even young Isabelle participating in their mission to educate others about fire safety. Through it all, they've maintained a steadfast faith that guides them, with Robyn's mantra becoming Bart's strength: "They wouldn't want me to quit."
Ready to be inspired? Listen now and discover how two people found extraordinary love after unimaginable loss, proving that hearts can expand to hold both grief and joy—sometimes in the very same moment.
"Dream Bird" by Jonny Easton
Thank you for listening to Warrior Moms podcast. It is an honor to share about our beloved children gone too soon, and we hope by telling of our loss, it may help someone in their grief journey. Please note that we are not medical professionals and encourage those listening to seek help from mental health professionals.
We'd love to hear from our followers!
Website: https://www.warriormoms.me/
Facebook: Warrior Moms-The Club No One Wants to Be In
Instagram: WarriorMoms.SurvivingChildLoss
With love,
Warrior Moms Amy & Michele
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello and welcome back to Warrior Moms.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
I am Michelle Davis.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
And I am Amy Durham and we are so glad y'all are
back with us again on thisepisode.
We're honored to have Robin noWillis back with us.
We learned about her twochildren who passed in the house
fire five and a half years agonow, and her new husband.
(00:25):
It's going to be a differentkind of episode and different
kind of insight into a wholedifferent kind of world.
Bart's a stepdad who had twochildren that he actually never
physically met, but I know thathe knows them as if he raised
them at this point.
So I can't wait to hear theirstory and how they've navigated
this journey together.
(00:46):
All right, guys, y'all want tointroduce yourselves and tell us
a little bit about how you met.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
Sure, I am Robin, formerly no Willis now, and I'm
here with my wonderful husbandBart.
Speaker 4 (01:02):
I'm Bart.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
Hey, Bart so we met.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Yeah, give us a little background of what
happened to Sean and Morgan.
You have an episode, of course,but just a little tie-in to
that and then how y'all met.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
Okay, so I lost Sean and Morgan five and a half years
ago in an overnight house fire.
A master was on the main andthe kids' rooms were upstairs.
And 2.30 in the morning no onewoke up and I couldn't get
upstairs to get them, and by thetime the police and fire
department showed up it was justbeyond being able to save them.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
It's just, I mean, every time I hear the story, it
just I immediately am choked upand you're such an inspiration
to all of us warrior moms,because you are a fierce little
lady, for sure, and you just youemit joy, and so that's.
We want to tap into that today,and how you navigated, being
(02:02):
shattered, and you somehow foundlove.
So take us to where that reallybegan the love part or the
shattered part.
You might start kind ofshattered to the love.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
So, yes, obviously you know, walked out of the
house with the clothes on myback and lost my children and
lost my pets, and lost mychildren, and lost my pets, and
lost my things and lost my justeverything.
I mean, you know, things aren'timportant, but when you're
trying to restart life and allyou have is a pair of yoga pants
and a tank top on your bodylike it's, it's hard.
I mean not even having a cellphone to where you have
(02:40):
passwords that you need toremember to try to get back into
accounts, to prove who you areand try to pick the pieces up
and start over and I don't know.
Just like I've always toldy'all time and time again, I
taught my children that you donot give up.
And what a hypocrite I would beif I had just laid down and
(03:00):
gave up on life.
So, days and weeks and monthsafterwards, I just kept trying
to live a life that they wouldbe proud of.
So I showed up for cheerleading.
Still I showed up for baseball.
Still, I showed up at schoolevents.
I just kept trying to go.
I showed up at work until theykicked us all out for COVID and
sent us all home.
So in the midst of all that, Itried to still be around family
(03:24):
and still be around friends asmuch as we could.
I met our warrior mom's groupand that was that was probably
the most therapeutic thing nextto being around Sean and
Morgan's friends for me, so gotme back out into socializing and
possibly dating again, whichsounded terrible at the time.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Remember at one of the warrior mom's meeting.
I still remember sitting thereand I know I've told you this
before, but you go, I think I'mready to start dating again.
But I mean, how do you explainthis?
And like you just kind of putyour hands up at a warrior mom's
meeting, like how do I explainthis, you know?
And I was like, yeah, I get it.
Speaker 3 (03:59):
I come with no things , but I come with a lot of
baggage.
So here's all my good cases.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
That is a giant quote .
That's amazing, wow.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
So yeah, bart and I met on Hinge, actually as a
dating site, which I don't knowif it was a new world too,
because you don't just meetpeople in person anymore,
especially during COVID.
So we started talking and Idon't know if I should tell this
part or if I should let Barttell this part.
Maybe we both can, but y'all,know me, I'm pretty honest from
the get go and I just kind ofthrow it all out there.
I don't remember if it was oneof our first or second
conversations, but I basicallyjust said this is who I am and
(04:39):
this is what happened to me andthis is where I stand now and
this is all the mess that I comewith.
And Bart, what did?
Speaker 1 (04:46):
you hear on your side ?
What did you hear when she saidall of that?
Speaker 4 (04:49):
I just listened.
I feel like I'm a compassionateperson in the first place and
when she told me that I mean myheart just broke, because this
is somebody that I instantlyconnected with and to hear that
it was very tough, it was veryand, just to be honest, it was a
little bit of guardedness by meto say, okay, hold on.
This is like the firstconversation that we've had and
(05:11):
she's telling me this, so Iappreciated the honesty I did
and I felt heartbroken.
It wasn't sure if at that time,she was actually ready, because
it was a very quick process,but here we are.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Here you are.
Like you said, you appreciatedthat openness and rawness at the
very beginning.
Had she waited three or fourdates, would you have been like
why didn't you?
Because I just know, assomebody probably starting to
date, it's hard to let that outand I know Robin's very bold,
but she doesn't mind it.
Speaker 4 (05:44):
Absolutely.
Yeah, no, I would have.
I expected that out of her.
I'm an honest person and Iexpect that up front.
I've given her everything thatI have from day one, so I
believe that I'm glad that shedid that.
I'm glad that we didn't have towait.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
So it was very good.
Were you all in person, or wereyou on the phone or texting?
How did that all come together?
Speaker 4 (06:05):
Yeah, I think we were texting at the time and then
you mentioned that and weactually were on the phone, if
I'm not mistaken, and we talkedabout it.
So it was.
It was.
It was different.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
And then where'd you go from there?
How do you end that phone callwith OK, so movies tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Yeah, have a great night so movies tomorrow.
Speaker 3 (06:29):
Yeah, you have a great night, we actually.
So we talked on the phone forprobably about two weeks before
our first date.
We started talking the firstweek and his daughter isabel
they were on a 50 50 schedule,so the second week we were
talking he had his daughter thewhole week.
So obviously that didn't workfor us to go on a date yet.
Obviously we weren't ready tointroduce me to her at that
point.
We hadn't even met yet.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Yeah, he didn't know if he catfished him or not.
Speaker 4 (06:50):
Right, we had not met yet, but we had deeply met with
the whole conversation.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
A thousand percent yes.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
You really said that before you met.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
Absolutely.
Speaker 4 (07:00):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (07:02):
Our first date was October 1st of 2020.
So it was four days before Seanand Morgan's first Angelversary
.
So he got me at a really messytime and still managed to have
some joy and some fun.
And he saw some really roughdays after that first date but
was there and we talked and wehung out and we got through all
(07:26):
that second year firsts that arejust super crummy, like I was
telling somebody today that thatfirst year is hard but that
second year is just, I don'tknow, earth shattering to me All
the things that you do.
Second year is worse than thefirst.
So, and that was our first yeardating and we made it through
it.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
Wow, you can make it through anything.
Speaker 4 (07:48):
It was easy.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
It was how old to run him off after that first date
was I don't know it's truebecause you're you.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
That's why yeah exactly because you are you yes
you?
Speaker 2 (08:02):
How old was Isabel when you all met?
No, she was let's see it was.
Speaker 3 (08:08):
October of 2020.
So she was five.
She turned six December afterwe started dating.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Okay, and how was that for you the first time you
met Isabel?
What was?
Speaker 3 (08:20):
it.
Y'all have now met Isabel, soyou can see that she is easy to
love.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
So how can you not love that girl?
She was completely just likeyeah, and it honestly didn't
take us long to tell her aboutSean and Morgan either.
Speaker 3 (08:34):
She I didn't hide pictures, I didn't hide anything
.
So obviously she saw, she sawkids, but she never saw kids.
So like she asked questionspretty pretty early on and Bart
had that conversation with herand then we had that
conversation with her.
Like I said, it wasn't the firsttime I talked to her for her,
but you know it was, it waspretty early on, after meeting
(08:56):
her, that we told her and shenow you know, she knows they're
her bonus brother and sister andwe talk about them and share
experiences with her and sheremembers stories and she'll
bring up stories about them, doyou?
remember the time you told meabout Morgan doing this or Sean
doing that.
Oh my gosh, what a joy.
So she's got her first softballgame this coming Saturday and
(09:19):
she asked me in the car becauseshe's nervous about it.
She said was Sean nervous forhis first game?
And I told her that he wasthree.
Probably not, but you know hegoes right around the curtain
caps.
But you know but she relates tothem a lot and shares stories
and just talks about them withus.
So she's a good one, she's easyto love, she brings a lot of
(09:40):
joy, a lot of brightness oh mygosh yes.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
That makes that just.
I mean that has to fill yourheart, both of you that number
one part that you have such a,that you contributed to such a
beautiful soul and those firstfive years, six years before she
even met Robin.
Just you, you guys, really,what would you guys say?
Speaker 2 (10:00):
is what would you guys say is the most challenging
part of that of carrying yourgrief.
Now, bart, you're in love withsomeone that has this huge part
of her missing and, like yousaid, it broke your heart.
What are some of the challengeswith that?
You want me to?
Yeah, go ahead.
Speaker 3 (10:20):
You can join in.
I think mine is stillexperiencing life with Isabel as
a child and getting to be partsof her firsts and her.
You know different things andback to school days and
Christmases and birthdays andall of that stuff.
And while it's so joyful to getto see it through a child's
(10:40):
eyes again, like there's stillthat sadness that Sean and
Morgan aren't here toparticipate with it, to do the
things with us as a family.
Now, even if we were still theywere at their dad's or she's at
her mom's or you know whatever.
Like it's still gonna be, likewe're not getting to do this
together at some point.
You know, I mean we're a familyof five and we'll always be a
(11:01):
family of five, but only gettingto celebrate earthly things as
a family of three is is sad.
I mean, even when you're havingthose joyous days with Isabel,
like there's still that sadnessof Sean and Morgan not being
here.
That's probably the hardestthing for me and I don't know.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
It's not hard for you to understand.
Speaker 4 (11:20):
I'm on a completely opposite spectrum, because for
me it's it's unbelievable tolove someone so much that you
never met, like.
I look at them all the time andI get.
I get emotional.
I probably will now, but I getemotional just thinking about
them and how much I would haveloved to have been in part of
their life when they wereactually here, and that's that's
a big deal to me.
(11:41):
I'm a very loving person andI've actually looking around at
pictures in the room right nowof them.
It's very hard to not be ableto just hug them and it's
something that I'll never get todo until I get to heaven, and I
can't wait for that day.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
I'm in love with you.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
Too bad, he's mine how did I know you?
You know as part of you know,asking Robin to marry her.
You and the wedding.
You did some really specialthings to include Sean and
Morgan in your special,beautiful day we did.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
we have always included them.
When we do like family picturesof some sort I mean maybe not
every single one of them, butlike professional style pictures
we always take a picture withthem or picture of them with us
and include it in parts of thefamily pictures we still do ones
of just me and Bart, or just me, bart and Isabel, or just him
and Isabel or whatever, and justme and my kids picture.
(12:43):
You know, we do differentthings to still include them
because they are, they'reforever included in our life and
in our family.
And just because they're nothere on earth with us doesn't
mean that they're not forevergoing to be a part of the
conversation and a part of ourlife and share in memories with
us, just in different ways.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Yes, absolutely so.
I just remember that beautifulpicture of you and your wedding
dress and the beautifulturquoise colors that you guys
had on, and Sean and Morganbeing right there.
Speaker 3 (13:15):
Yep, and my dad and stepmom and sister had gifted us
with a little pennant that Ihad on my bouquet that had Sean
and Morgan's picture of it on it, and then my grandfather who
had passed away his picture, sothey are all still there with us
.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
That is so special, and how do your friends handle
this new relationship, this newfamily and still being able to
include Sean and Morgan and soforth?
Speaker 3 (13:45):
My friends are super accepting because, of course,
the majority of my friends knewSean and Morgan and were part of
Sean and Morgan and so forth.
My friends are super acceptingbecause, of course, the majority
of my friends knew Sean andMorgan and were part of Sean and
Morgan's life.
And to see Bart come in andjust like, wholeheartedly accept
, like all of me and all of Seanand all of Morgan, and embrace
it, you know, in our messinessand in our joyfulness, you know
that he's there and he steps upand helps me when I need it and
(14:10):
steps aside and lets me have mymoments when I need it.
You know so.
So my friends were I mean,they're on board from from day
one but now his friends, I don'tknow, I'll let him talk.
They're all great.
They absolutely the first timethey met Robin.
Speaker 4 (14:24):
They fell in love with her and then they knew the
story as well, because at firstI talked to a lot of friends to
find out.
You know, hey, you know, am I?
You know what is my path downthis according to you guys, and
I already knew what my path wasgoing to be period, yeah, yeah,
they're all very, very acceptingof the story, very accepting of
(14:47):
everything that's happened andof Robin.
I mean you just love her whenyou meet her.
So I mean my parents arefantastic.
I mean they took Shawna Morganand like their own, I mean, and
that's fantastic.
So everybody is, they allunderstand what we're doing and
what we're going through andsupport that's what they're here
for.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
Yeah, what would you say to other grieving moms,
Robin, in terms of how you walkdown this path?
I mean, obviously being honest,but just navigating those gosh,
that first year of dating and,like you said, all of those
grief moments what do you do?
(15:26):
How do you talk about that withsomebody that you're just
meeting and getting to know?
Speaker 3 (15:31):
I don't know if I'm the right one to give advice,
because you know me, I just talk, but I don't know.
I mean honesty has always justkind of been my policy, like you
get me for who I am and youlike it or you don't, and the
messiness that comes with me nowis just always there.
I mean, I didn't have a problemtalking to Bart's friends the
(15:54):
first time I met him and askedabout the fire and when we were
starting to set up thefoundation, asking about the
foundation, and Bart was rightin the midst of helping set up
the foundation.
We'd already been dating forprobably a year before we really
got gung ho about getting thefoundation set up for Sean and
Morgan and so that part he'sbeen with, you know, the whole
time.
So he's understood that aspectof figuring things out and
(16:16):
dealing with the joy of settingsomething up, the grief of
having to set something up, thejoy that comes with giving back,
but the grief that comes withthe reason that we're giving
back.
So I mean he's he the reasonthat we're giving back.
So I mean he's he's made allthose steps with me.
You know he, I'm sure hedoesn't.
You know, his thoughts on thebackground are probably
(16:37):
different than mine and I meanthat's, that's fine.
He comes with a different levelof support than what I show up
with sometimes and but we carryeach other, we balance each
other and you know, and I justfeel like that's you just kind
of figure it out along the way.
I mean, if you're talking tosomebody or dating somebody and
you know it's not the rightperson, then just move on, you
know.
But when you find that personthat you connect with and that
(16:58):
you truly feel something for, Ijust feel like it's easier to
have those open, honestconversations about what you're
going through and the thoughtsand feelings that you're having
that day.
Conversations about what you'regoing through and the thoughts
and feelings that you're havingthat day, and I mean even now.
I mean I can just come home andI can be like this stupid song
came on the radio today and I'mjust in my feels and he's like
Okay, what do you want to do?
(17:18):
You want to talk about it?
Do you want to go do something?
Do you want to go to bed?
I never want to go to bed, butbut, you know, just like do you
want to go sit on the porch?
Like, do you want to havedinner?
Do you want to sit in silence?
Like he just lets me call theshots on those days.
And you know he has bad daystoo.
It may not necessarily bebecause of Sean and Morgan, but
I mean it could be and we'vejust learned to help each other
(17:44):
through the bad days and havefun on the good days.
Speaker 4 (17:46):
And the days that those things happen, we just
figure it out 100, 100.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
That's what we do.
And, bart, what do you do aboutyour sadness?
You talked about being chokedup, wishing you could hug them,
and, of course, robin carrieshuge, enormous grief, but you're
carrying grief too.
What do you do to processthrough that?
Speaker 4 (18:08):
It's the same thing.
She knows me so well that shejust knows when I'm feeling it.
And when I'm feeling it andwhen I'm getting into that, we
talk about it and we just talkit out and we hang out.
That's the main thing.
It's like we just want to hangout all the time and for us that
is a coping mechanism, for bothof us.
I mean, it's just, it helps somuch just to look at her and she
(18:29):
knows what I'm going through.
So it's immediate.
She understands, and that's myoutlet is Robin, so I mean she's
always there for me, I'm alwaysthere for her, no matter what,
and that's just the way we are.
Speaker 3 (18:41):
How did you get?
Yeah, how did you get?
Speaker 1 (18:43):
by hanging out and talking to each other, that's
what I thought you were going tosay Just talking, open
communication.
Speaker 4 (18:50):
Yeah, from day one, I think from official date one.
It was like we sat down and wejust connected that's awesome
and I knew what had happened andI knew all the thoughts and
everything that she had on itand how honest she was.
But it just was normal we weretwo common people.
(19:10):
But it was it just.
It just was normal we were, wewere two common people, and, and
it was amazing.
It was a connection immediately.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
So pretty cool, I think it's.
I think it's pretty just, asI'm listening, I mean it's, um,
I'm just in awe, truly, of justjust both of your hearts.
I mean I'm literally looking attwo humans that your hearts
were meant to be together.
Yeah, it's just so inspiringand it's, I think, that just
(19:36):
being able to say exactly whatyou're saying, like here's how
I'm feeling, and then, Bart,you're like, okay, well, what do
you need?
You need this, do you need that?
Do you need this?
I mean that is such incredibleadvice on all parts of our life,
right?
Speaker 3 (19:50):
Yes, and I mean we both started dating with the
full intention that we neverwanted to get married again.
He was a lot newer out ofdivorce than I was.
I had been divorced for sevenyears when I lost Sean and
Morgan.
So I had dated here and there,but obviously nothing serious.
Nothing clicked that I wantedlong-term with.
(20:11):
So I was just kind of ifsomething happens it'll be fun
and if I meet somebody andconnect with them that's awesome
.
But it was still full fledged.
I'm not doing that marriagething again and like I said, he
was more newly divorced.
Speaker 4 (20:24):
Just a few months out , yeah Well that was a red flag
right there.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
That never should have worked.
Speaker 4 (20:31):
It was almost immediate, like we both looked
at each other.
We're like, we're not.
We're not doing this again.
Let's just.
Let's just enjoy each other.
Speaker 3 (20:39):
Love it, which is why we dated for three and a half
plus years as an older coupledating before we got married,
because we just we knew we lovedeach other.
We knew we wanted to betogether forever, but we were
still just like ooh like youdidn't mean it yeah so what
changed?
Speaker 2 (20:57):
like what, what?
What was it, bart, that youwere like, okay, I might want to
do something about it?
Speaker 1 (21:02):
I might want to put a ring on.
It is what he said.
Speaker 4 (21:05):
That's right, I mean it's, it's your best friend.
I mean she, she is what he said, that's right, that's right.
I mean it's, it's your bestfriend.
I mean she, she is my bestfriend and there's nobody else
at that point that I wanted tobe with and and I will ever want
to be with.
So I mean it, just, it, just Idon't, I can't explain it.
It was just immediate, likewhen, when it hit, I think we
knew for the longest everythingtogether we're doing, you know
(21:26):
so I think it just became a jokeat that point yeah we're never
gonna get married yeah, yeah,yeah, definitely
Speaker 2 (21:32):
um, and your wedding tell us about.
That was like a really neatsurprise and um, you guys tell
us all about.
Speaker 3 (21:43):
Well, we got engaged on Thanksgiving of 2023.
That was really cute.
He involved Isabel in it and Ihad no idea.
And I really thought that if hewas going to ask me, I would
figure out the clues and I wouldknow it was kind of coming and
no complete shock.
Like you can watch the video,you can watch my face, you can
(22:04):
listen to background, like noidea.
No, I'm the worst at secrets.
Watch my face, you can listento it, it's not bad Background,
like no idea.
No, and I'm the worst at secrets, so so Isabel had actually kind
of started it and said that shewanted to go around the room
and say what everybody wasthankful for.
And we had just done this a fewnights ago, sitting on the
porch with just us.
So I literally thought nothingof it when she started this
(22:25):
conversation at actualThanksgiving dinner.
And so she just said I'mthankful for Miss Robin and gosh
, I can't even remember.
Speaker 4 (22:33):
One day she'll be my bonus mom.
Speaker 3 (22:35):
Yes, and then turned around and I didn't even notice.
I was hugging her andeverybody's like hitting me on
the shoulder and making thesecrazy eyes and I turn around,
barks down on one knee and soyeah, full fledged shock, full
fledged tears, like no idea,heck yeah, yes, absolutely, it
was a good Thanksgiving.
It was, it was a very goodThanksgiving.
(22:55):
So then, even then we didn'tknow what we wanted to do.
Like we had made the joke thatwe were just going to go to the
courthouse and get married, likewe would have a party with
everybody later.
Parents did not like thatanswer as much as we did, so we
knew we were going to have tofigure out something.
(23:15):
But we've both done the bigweddings and we were looking to
buy a house and we were.
We were adulting for somereason and making more wise and
financial decisions and notwanting to spend tens of
thousands of dollars on awedding again.
And so, yeah, just I don't know, we kept going back and forth
about what to do.
We had just bought the housethat we're in now in February of
last year, so we said, well,let's do a backyard wedding, and
(23:38):
so we started talking aboutthat and even that started
adding up and we're going tohave to invite this person.
If we invite that person, we'vegot to invite this person.
So this small guest list turnedinto this huge guest list, and
now we're back spending tens ofthousands of dollars on a
wedding again.
So we had kind of just put theidea to the side for a little
while and said we'll figure thatout later.
(23:59):
But we had already planned aDisney trip and we were sitting
there talking about planning ourdays and you know I'm a planner
so we had day one we were doingparks.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
Day two we were doing parks and we're wearing this
outfit, absolutely, and we'rewearing this outfit, which I
like.
Speaker 3 (24:12):
Absolutely.
And then Wednesday was going tobe a rest day and hang out at
the resort, go to the pools,whatever.
Thursday we were back at theparks.
Friday we were back at theparks.
Saturday we were coming home.
So we were just sitting on theporch one night, like we do,
chit-chatting and talking aboutwhat was going to happen.
Speaker 4 (24:30):
And I get one of these.
Hey, how much do you love me?
Comments.
Speaker 3 (24:35):
Because I have this idea.
And I said, do you want to getmarried while we're in Orlando?
And he was like sure.
And he was like, well, what doyou mean?
And I was like well, and we'dalready invited his parents to
go with us for part of theDisney trip and my parents only
live like two hours from Disney.
So we said, well, everybody'sgoing to be there.
(24:57):
Do you want to just get marriedat Disney?
Like well, go to the courthouse.
We're not going to do anextensive Disney wedding, but on
our rest day we'll go to thecourthouse and we'll get married
and we'll plan a fun dinnerwith everybody and that's
literally what it turned into.
Speaker 4 (25:16):
And we invited a couple of more people if they
wanted to come down and join.
My cousin did, you know, someother people didn't, but we
didn't want to exclude some ofthe artists.
Speaker 3 (25:25):
And then we said we'll have a big party when we
get back.
And we haven't done that yet,but you know we're we're coming
up on a year in June.
Maybe we'll have an anniversaryparty or something, I don't
know, but no, it was.
It was gorgeous and beautifuland wonderful and fun.
We went to the courthouse inthe morning.
We still dressed up, we stillcoordinated colors, we still had
(25:47):
family there.
Isabel obviously was included,sean and Morgan were included.
We had photography.
And then we came back and weplayed in the pool for a little
while and then we went toHoop-Dee-Doo.
Speaker 4 (25:59):
Review for dinner that night and had a hoedown
barbecue with all of our family.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
So no, it was.
That is incredible Love in themiddle of deep grief, that is.
That is something else, my gosh.
Speaker 3 (26:13):
Yeah, we didn't just find somebody to enjoy the rest
of life with or have somebody tohang out with the rest of life,
like we literally found ourbest friend in each other and
the person who makes us eachbetter people he makes me a
better person every day, and Ihope that I make him a better
person every day.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
Well, and Robin, I'm so proud of you for having the
ability, and then I'm not goingto say strength and courage, but
opening yourself up for that,Because I know sometimes, when I
mean we don't know that we'reready for things like that, I
mean because this is a that'shuge and you, you were so open
to it at the right time and Ithink that that is remarkable
(26:53):
and that's just.
It's just remarkable, You'reremarkable.
Speaker 4 (26:56):
Thank you.
That's kind of what you knowbefore.
What I was talking about waswhen I found out, was I ready
for it or was she?
Speaker 2 (27:04):
ready, and that was the big.
Speaker 4 (27:05):
Thing is you know.
Is she really ready for this?
Because we connected instantly.
Speaker 1 (27:12):
That wasn't the problem, yeah.
Speaker 4 (27:14):
Yeah, it was not the problem.
It was are we going to be readyfor this?
And I think once we met eachother and sat down, we saw how
much better together we madeeach other.
I love it, and that was itBecause.
Speaker 3 (27:27):
I mean, we both had a little bit of you know, scare
tactics.
I guess you know I'm walking inwith all this.
You know this is what happenedto my kids story, but he's
fairly fresh out of divorce andI'm thinking I've done this
single thing for a while.
Are you sure you're ready tojump back into something serious
again, you know?
And so I think we both had,like I don't know cause, we
(27:48):
weren't that guarded.
Speaker 2 (27:49):
But we had a little bit of you know.
So where do y'all get your,where do you get your strength
to you know?
I know I remember thinking justhow painful it was just to go
to a soccer game and have theconversation with a stranger
next to me about what hadhappened to Carter, let alone a
(28:09):
potential date.
What do you tap into?
What's some advice for people?
Speaker 3 (28:14):
And Bart, I'm gonna ask you the same thing, so think
you can do that again, just notgiving up and continuing to
live that life to make Sean andMorgan proud.
If I stayed cowered in a cornerfor the rest of my life because
I was scared to meet somebodynew, or I was scared to walk
(28:36):
back out on a baseball field ora cheerleading field or anything
like that, just how much wouldI let them down?
I still struggle with the factthat I couldn't save them in the
fire and that's always going tobe a guilt that I live with.
I do better with it thanobviously I did at first, but I
mean it's still back there, thatguilt that I couldn't save them
(28:58):
.
I'm their mama, I'm supposed toprotect them from everything
and I couldn't that night, youknow.
And so not letting them downagain just brings me, you know,
just gives me that fuel I haveto keep going.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
Yeah, that's amazing.
How about you, bart?
What?
What was the strength insideyou that you know fresh off
divorce that that made you say,okay, I'm tapping into this
because I'm going to try and gofor it?
You connected with her, and sowhat do you tap into when you're
afraid and worried about allthis?
Speaker 4 (29:31):
Yeah, just like when we first met, it was all about
I'm not quitting.
That was what she would alwaystell me is they wouldn't want me
to quit, I'm not quitting, andthat is what I look at.
So it's a great trait to have.
I don't know how she does it.
At times it's very tough, andit's just for her to tell me
they wouldn't want me to quit.
(29:52):
So why would I quit?
And I'm so blessed by that andso that is my strength and we
learned that at the verybeginning of our relationship
was that's the way she feltabout it and that's kind what
carries me through all this soyou kind of follow her lead a
little bit absolutely absolutelyand then I like, yeah, that
that's the first picture I eversaw of her.
(30:13):
She had a shirt on that saidthat and say that again.
Speaker 2 (30:17):
What was the shirt?
Speaker 1 (30:18):
say it again.
Amy, I said she's a badassbutterfly.
Speaker 3 (30:21):
Yes, I actually just said beautiful badass.
But yes, that's.
Hey, I own it, I love it.
Speaker 2 (30:27):
Oh my gosh Make it till.
Speaker 3 (30:29):
you make it sometimes , so that's a big one too.
Speaker 4 (30:32):
So, yeah, I think we're and and and it's.
And.
Another thing that really helpsme is is when people ask about
my kid and then they ask aboutRobin's kids and she tells them
I'm about to make you cry and wego through that, but at the end
of the story they ask what canwe do to prevent?
And so that's the greatest partand the most rewarding part is
(30:57):
being able to help someone elseand seeing when someone else's
eyes open up and they're justgoing okay, maybe we shouldn't
take that for granted, andthat's the way we look at it.
Every day.
We don't take anything forgranted.
We just continue to love oneverybody that we can love on.
It's me and her and Isabelagainst the world.
So that's the way we kind oflook at it.
Speaker 3 (31:14):
And I mean even you know we'll.
We'll talk to people andthey'll say we need to go home
and talk about a fire plan.
You know what?
What?
What can we do?
How do we get this started?
I mean, we have the resourcesto give them to say, hey, this
is, this is where you start,this is how you practice, this
is how you come up with it.
And obviously I don't knoweverything, but I share every
single ounce of knowledge that Ican with people about fire
(31:36):
safety and being as prepared asyou can.
And we tried to be.
We had a fire plan, we hadsmoke detectors, we had a fire
ladder, we had all the things.
They knew where to go.
When you got out of the house,you didn't wait for anybody else
, you just went to our meetingspot across the street at the
neighbor's mailbox.
But again, when nobody wakes up, it doesn't matter what kind of
plan you had.
(31:56):
But yeah, even Isabel knows myfire safety spiel and can speak
it to anybody.
She'll go to events with us andshe'll listen to me talk to
people about things and she'llliterally look at us and say can
I talk to the next person?
And absolutely, she's a littlemore out knowing than Barta is
about talking to people.
Speaker 2 (32:16):
I love that so much.
I mean, what a role model forher too.
I mean it's all of us arecarrying grief at different
points in our life, right, andnot certainly to the weight that
you're carrying, Robin, but youknow, she's seeing this person
that has this resilience and anability to also say I'm sad
today.
Right, it's the honest, it'sthe both of those and, and what
(32:38):
a gift to be able to share thatwith somebody else.
That's incredible, and what agift to be able to share that
with somebody else.
Speaker 1 (32:45):
That's incredible.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
What advice would y'all?
Speaker 1 (32:46):
have for any other person out there that wants to
date.
Speaker 3 (32:50):
Oh just listen to your gut, follow your heart,
take steps and take I don't knowwhat sort I'm looking for Like
jump in, try it out, but if it'stoo much or it's too deep, go
back to the shallow end for aminute, start over, it's okay,
(33:11):
but be willing to jump in, bewilling to try things, be
willing to give it a shot.
It may not work out every time,and that's okay, but if you're
not at least willing to take arisk and see what happens, then
you may never find your part.
Speaker 4 (33:18):
And you just have to trust your heart, and that's the
main thing.
Is is what is your hearttelling you, because I knew from
the beginning when this was andI was able to just OK, let's go
.
You know it's, I trust you, youtrust me, let's make this thing
happen.
And here we are, just superhappy.
Speaker 1 (33:38):
Well, and you have to you're worthy of the love.
That's something.
I think that's huge you.
You are worthy of the love andyou are worthy of the friendship
and the relationships and allthat kind of stuff, even if
they're new.
And I know it's hard to moveforward.
Speaker 3 (33:54):
But Sean and Morgan want it Absolutely, and you know
, just tell anybody you justpray about it.
I mean, every day with mestarts with prayer, it ends with
prayer.
We pray together.
You know we pray apart.
I prayed before I met Bart.
You know I prayed about Bartand I didn't even know that's
what I was praying for, yet youknow we pray for each other.
(34:15):
Yes.
So I mean that's another reasonthat our relationship works is
because God is a huge part ofour relationship.
He is a part of every singlesecond of our lives and without
him I wouldn't be where I amtoday, I wouldn't have gotten
through the things that I gotthrough.
In the beginning.
I mean, I was angry at him andthat's okay too.
So he understands that angerand he understands the days that
(34:38):
I'm still angry with him andthat I'm still sad about things.
But then I asked him to justgive me the strength to keep
going.
You know, give me the strengthto be here, for Bart to be here,
for Isabel to be here, forother people that hopefully my
testimony will be part of theirsurvival guide.
You know, just find pain in thepurpose, find joy through the
grief.
You know, live a life of griefand gratitude.
(35:00):
That's kind of my saying andall the things that I do, that
you know I'm going to begrateful for everything that
happens, but I'm still going tocarry a little grief with me
along the way.
And I mean I'm going to carry alot of grief with me, but I
just mean, in the moments like,enjoy the gratefulness of a
moment even though you have thatgrief still sitting on your
shoulder.
I think you, just you learn tobalance it the best that you can
and when the seesaw tumbles youfigure it out and you get that
(35:23):
scale back on balance againlater.
But you have to have thatrelationship with each other,
you have to have thatrelationship with God and you
have to just for me, just notlet my kids down and I don't
want to let any of them down.
I don't want to let Sean andMorgan down.
I don't want to let Isabel down, if I can help it.
I want to just be the bestperson I can be to all the
(35:44):
people in my life, whether it'sa mom, whether it's a wife,
whether it's a stepmom, whetherit's a friend, whether it's a
family member, like I, just Ijust try to be the best person
that I can be to the people whoare here.
Speaker 4 (35:55):
And to live every day where someone sees Christ
through us.
That's the big thing.
We just, we just want to bethose people, that they go.
Man, those guys are happy, talkto us, and that's kind of what
we want to do.
That's the way we live everyday.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
I love it.
That's incredible.
I want to make a bunch of Robinposters, all of those things
that you said.
Speaker 1 (36:20):
I need like do what Robin does.
I need that.
I need do W-W-R-D.
Yeah, I need that.
I need that.
Speaker 2 (36:25):
I need that.
Affirmations on my mirror.
Girl, that is so good, wow,well thank you, I love it.
Speaker 1 (36:32):
Yes, well, y'all thank you so much.
Yes, thank y'all so much.
Speaker 4 (36:35):
Absolutely, it's an honor.
Speaker 3 (36:37):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (36:45):
Well, talking to y'all as always.
Yes, thank you so much.
We appreciate it and listeners,if you want to join in Robin,
if you want to share some ofthose links on fire safety,
we'll post that online with yourpodcast as well and you all can
find more.
Robin is we didn't even talkabout that.
Robin is one of the moms.
She's actually our firstchapter in the warrior mom book
that will come out in.
Speaker 3 (37:04):
No pressure.
Speaker 2 (37:06):
Yeah, you know.
Just we're so excited about it,and so if you want to go to our
website, you can hear moreabout Robin's story on there, on
her bio page, and everything islinked on our my bio page too,
for for the foundation website,and then for the Facebook page
and the Instagram page for thefoundation as well.
Speaker 3 (37:28):
Awesome.
Speaker 2 (37:28):
Perfect.
So go to wwwwarriormomsme, andthen there's, you know, meet the
warrior moms, and you can dropdown and find Robin, no Willis's
name and go to her bio page andsee pictures of beautiful Sean
and Morgan and, of course, visitthose sites for the foundation.
(37:50):
Thank you so much for beinghere.
This was just a delight.
You two are an inspiration.
I'm going to have my husbandlisten to this.
Speaker 1 (38:00):
And thank you, listeners, for being here once
again.
Until next time, love y'all,bye, bye, see you.
Hello and welcome back to Warrior Moms.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
I am Michelle Davis.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
And I am Amy Durham and we are so glad y'all are
back with us again on thisepisode.
We're honored to have Robin noWillis back with us.
We learned about her twochildren who passed in the house
fire five and a half years agonow, and her new husband.
(00:25):
It's going to be a differentkind of episode and different
kind of insight into a wholedifferent kind of world.
Bart's a stepdad who had twochildren that he actually never
physically met, but I know thathe knows them as if he raised
them at this point.
So I can't wait to hear theirstory and how they've navigated
this journey together.
(00:46):
All right, guys, y'all want tointroduce yourselves and tell us
a little bit about how you met.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
Sure, I am Robin, formerly no Willis now, and I'm
here with my wonderful husbandBart.
Speaker 4 (01:02):
I'm Bart.
Speaker 3 (01:03):
Hey, Bart so we met.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Yeah, give us a little background of what
happened to Sean and Morgan.
You have an episode, of course,but just a little tie-in to
that and then how y'all met.
Speaker 3 (01:17):
Okay, so I lost Sean and Morgan five and a half years
ago in an overnight house fire.
A master was on the main andthe kids' rooms were upstairs.
And 2.30 in the morning no onewoke up and I couldn't get
upstairs to get them, and by thetime the police and fire
department showed up it was justbeyond being able to save them.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
It's just, I mean, every time I hear the story, it
just I immediately am choked upand you're such an inspiration
to all of us warrior moms,because you are a fierce little
lady, for sure, and you just youemit joy, and so that's.
We want to tap into that today,and how you navigated, being
(02:02):
shattered, and you somehow foundlove.
So take us to where that reallybegan the love part or the
shattered part.
You might start kind ofshattered to the love.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
So, yes, obviously you know, walked out of the
house with the clothes on myback and lost my children and
lost my pets, and lost mychildren, and lost my pets, and
lost my things and lost my justeverything.
I mean, you know, things aren'timportant, but when you're
trying to restart life and allyou have is a pair of yoga pants
and a tank top on your bodylike it's, it's hard.
I mean not even having a cellphone to where you have
(02:40):
passwords that you need toremember to try to get back into
accounts, to prove who you areand try to pick the pieces up
and start over and I don't know.
Just like I've always toldy'all time and time again, I
taught my children that you donot give up.
And what a hypocrite I would beif I had just laid down and
(03:00):
gave up on life.
So, days and weeks and monthsafterwards, I just kept trying
to live a life that they wouldbe proud of.
So I showed up for cheerleading.
Still I showed up for baseball.
Still, I showed up at schoolevents.
I just kept trying to go.
I showed up at work until theykicked us all out for COVID and
sent us all home.
So in the midst of all that, Itried to still be around family
(03:24):
and still be around friends asmuch as we could.
I met our warrior mom's groupand that was that was probably
the most therapeutic thing nextto being around Sean and
Morgan's friends for me, so gotme back out into socializing and
possibly dating again, whichsounded terrible at the time.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Remember at one of the warrior mom's meeting.
I still remember sitting thereand I know I've told you this
before, but you go, I think I'mready to start dating again.
But I mean, how do you explainthis?
And like you just kind of putyour hands up at a warrior mom's
meeting, like how do I explainthis, you know?
And I was like, yeah, I get it.
Speaker 3 (03:59):
I come with no things , but I come with a lot of
baggage.
So here's all my good cases.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
That is a giant quote .
That's amazing, wow.
Speaker 3 (04:16):
So yeah, bart and I met on Hinge, actually as a
dating site, which I don't knowif it was a new world too,
because you don't just meetpeople in person anymore,
especially during COVID.
So we started talking and Idon't know if I should tell this
part or if I should let Barttell this part.
Maybe we both can, but y'all,know me, I'm pretty honest from
the get go and I just kind ofthrow it all out there.
I don't remember if it was oneof our first or second
conversations, but I basicallyjust said this is who I am and
(04:39):
this is what happened to me andthis is where I stand now and
this is all the mess that I comewith.
And Bart, what did?
Speaker 1 (04:46):
you hear on your side ?
What did you hear when she saidall of that?
Speaker 4 (04:49):
I just listened.
I feel like I'm a compassionateperson in the first place and
when she told me that I mean myheart just broke, because this
is somebody that I instantlyconnected with and to hear that
it was very tough, it was veryand, just to be honest, it was a
little bit of guardedness by meto say, okay, hold on.
This is like the firstconversation that we've had and
(05:11):
she's telling me this, so Iappreciated the honesty I did
and I felt heartbroken.
It wasn't sure if at that time,she was actually ready, because
it was a very quick process,but here we are.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Here you are.
Like you said, you appreciatedthat openness and rawness at the
very beginning.
Had she waited three or fourdates, would you have been like
why didn't you?
Because I just know, assomebody probably starting to
date, it's hard to let that outand I know Robin's very bold,
but she doesn't mind it.
Speaker 4 (05:44):
Absolutely.
Yeah, no, I would have.
I expected that out of her.
I'm an honest person and Iexpect that up front.
I've given her everything thatI have from day one, so I
believe that I'm glad that shedid that.
I'm glad that we didn't have towait.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
So it was very good.
Were you all in person, or wereyou on the phone or texting?
How did that all come together?
Speaker 4 (06:05):
Yeah, I think we were texting at the time and then
you mentioned that and weactually were on the phone, if
I'm not mistaken, and we talkedabout it.
So it was.
It was.
It was different.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
And then where'd you go from there?
How do you end that phone callwith OK, so movies tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (06:22):
Yeah, have a great night so movies tomorrow.
Speaker 3 (06:29):
Yeah, you have a great night, we actually.
So we talked on the phone forprobably about two weeks before
our first date.
We started talking the firstweek and his daughter isabel
they were on a 50 50 schedule,so the second week we were
talking he had his daughter thewhole week.
So obviously that didn't workfor us to go on a date yet.
Obviously we weren't ready tointroduce me to her at that
point.
We hadn't even met yet.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Yeah, he didn't know if he catfished him or not.
Speaker 4 (06:50):
Right, we had not met yet, but we had deeply met with
the whole conversation.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
A thousand percent yes.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
You really said that before you met.
Speaker 3 (07:00):
Absolutely.
Speaker 4 (07:00):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (07:02):
Our first date was October 1st of 2020.
So it was four days before Seanand Morgan's first Angelversary
.
So he got me at a really messytime and still managed to have
some joy and some fun.
And he saw some really roughdays after that first date but
was there and we talked and wehung out and we got through all
(07:26):
that second year firsts that arejust super crummy, like I was
telling somebody today that thatfirst year is hard but that
second year is just, I don'tknow, earth shattering to me All
the things that you do.
Second year is worse than thefirst.
So, and that was our first yeardating and we made it through
it.
Speaker 1 (07:45):
Wow, you can make it through anything.
Speaker 4 (07:48):
It was easy.
Speaker 3 (07:48):
It was how old to run him off after that first date
was I don't know it's truebecause you're you.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
That's why yeah exactly because you are you yes
you?
Speaker 2 (08:02):
How old was Isabel when you all met?
No, she was let's see it was.
Speaker 3 (08:08):
October of 2020.
So she was five.
She turned six December afterwe started dating.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
Okay, and how was that for you the first time you
met Isabel?
What was?
Speaker 3 (08:20):
it.
Y'all have now met Isabel, soyou can see that she is easy to
love.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
So how can you not love that girl?
She was completely just likeyeah, and it honestly didn't
take us long to tell her aboutSean and Morgan either.
Speaker 3 (08:34):
She I didn't hide pictures, I didn't hide anything
.
So obviously she saw, she sawkids, but she never saw kids.
So like she asked questionspretty pretty early on and Bart
had that conversation with herand then we had that
conversation with her.
Like I said, it wasn't the firsttime I talked to her for her,
but you know it was, it waspretty early on, after meeting
(08:56):
her, that we told her and shenow you know, she knows they're
her bonus brother and sister andwe talk about them and share
experiences with her and sheremembers stories and she'll
bring up stories about them, doyou?
remember the time you told meabout Morgan doing this or Sean
doing that.
Oh my gosh, what a joy.
So she's got her first softballgame this coming Saturday and
(09:19):
she asked me in the car becauseshe's nervous about it.
She said was Sean nervous forhis first game?
And I told her that he wasthree.
Probably not, but you know hegoes right around the curtain
caps.
But you know but she relates tothem a lot and shares stories
and just talks about them withus.
So she's a good one, she's easyto love, she brings a lot of
(09:40):
joy, a lot of brightness oh mygosh yes.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
That makes that just.
I mean that has to fill yourheart, both of you that number
one part that you have such a,that you contributed to such a
beautiful soul and those firstfive years, six years before she
even met Robin.
Just you, you guys, really,what would you guys say?
Speaker 2 (10:00):
is what would you guys say is the most challenging
part of that of carrying yourgrief.
Now, bart, you're in love withsomeone that has this huge part
of her missing and, like yousaid, it broke your heart.
What are some of the challengeswith that?
You want me to?
Yeah, go ahead.
Speaker 3 (10:20):
You can join in.
I think mine is stillexperiencing life with Isabel as
a child and getting to be partsof her firsts and her.
You know different things andback to school days and
Christmases and birthdays andall of that stuff.
And while it's so joyful to getto see it through a child's
(10:40):
eyes again, like there's stillthat sadness that Sean and
Morgan aren't here toparticipate with it, to do the
things with us as a family.
Now, even if we were still theywere at their dad's or she's at
her mom's or you know whatever.
Like it's still gonna be, likewe're not getting to do this
together at some point.
You know, I mean we're a familyof five and we'll always be a
(11:01):
family of five, but only gettingto celebrate earthly things as
a family of three is is sad.
I mean, even when you're havingthose joyous days with Isabel,
like there's still that sadnessof Sean and Morgan not being
here.
That's probably the hardestthing for me and I don't know.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
It's not hard for you to understand.
Speaker 4 (11:20):
I'm on a completely opposite spectrum, because for
me it's it's unbelievable tolove someone so much that you
never met, like.
I look at them all the time andI get.
I get emotional.
I probably will now, but I getemotional just thinking about
them and how much I would haveloved to have been in part of
their life when they wereactually here, and that's that's
a big deal to me.
(11:41):
I'm a very loving person andI've actually looking around at
pictures in the room right nowof them.
It's very hard to not be ableto just hug them and it's
something that I'll never get todo until I get to heaven, and I
can't wait for that day.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
I'm in love with you.
Speaker 2 (12:00):
Too bad, he's mine how did I know you?
You know as part of you know,asking Robin to marry her.
You and the wedding.
You did some really specialthings to include Sean and
Morgan in your special,beautiful day we did.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
we have always included them.
When we do like family picturesof some sort I mean maybe not
every single one of them, butlike professional style pictures
we always take a picture withthem or picture of them with us
and include it in parts of thefamily pictures we still do ones
of just me and Bart, or just me, bart and Isabel, or just him
and Isabel or whatever, and justme and my kids picture.
(12:43):
You know, we do differentthings to still include them
because they are, they'reforever included in our life and
in our family.
And just because they're nothere on earth with us doesn't
mean that they're not forevergoing to be a part of the
conversation and a part of ourlife and share in memories with
us, just in different ways.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Yes, absolutely so.
I just remember that beautifulpicture of you and your wedding
dress and the beautifulturquoise colors that you guys
had on, and Sean and Morganbeing right there.
Speaker 3 (13:15):
Yep, and my dad and stepmom and sister had gifted us
with a little pennant that Ihad on my bouquet that had Sean
and Morgan's picture of it on it, and then my grandfather who
had passed away his picture, sothey are all still there with us
.
Speaker 2 (13:31):
That is so special, and how do your friends handle
this new relationship, this newfamily and still being able to
include Sean and Morgan and soforth?
Speaker 3 (13:45):
My friends are super accepting because, of course,
the majority of my friends knewSean and Morgan and were part of
Sean and Morgan and so forth.
My friends are super acceptingbecause, of course, the majority
of my friends knew Sean andMorgan and were part of Sean and
Morgan's life.
And to see Bart come in andjust like, wholeheartedly accept
, like all of me and all of Seanand all of Morgan, and embrace
it, you know, in our messinessand in our joyfulness, you know
that he's there and he steps upand helps me when I need it and
(14:10):
steps aside and lets me have mymoments when I need it.
You know so.
So my friends were I mean,they're on board from from day
one but now his friends, I don'tknow, I'll let him talk.
They're all great.
They absolutely the first timethey met Robin.
Speaker 4 (14:24):
They fell in love with her and then they knew the
story as well, because at firstI talked to a lot of friends to
find out.
You know, hey, you know, am I?
You know what is my path downthis according to you guys, and
I already knew what my path wasgoing to be period, yeah, yeah,
they're all very, very acceptingof the story, very accepting of
(14:47):
everything that's happened andof Robin.
I mean you just love her whenyou meet her.
So I mean my parents arefantastic.
I mean they took Shawna Morganand like their own, I mean, and
that's fantastic.
So everybody is, they allunderstand what we're doing and
what we're going through andsupport that's what they're here
for.
Speaker 2 (15:06):
Yeah, what would you say to other grieving moms,
Robin, in terms of how you walkdown this path?
I mean, obviously being honest,but just navigating those gosh,
that first year of dating and,like you said, all of those
grief moments what do you do?
(15:26):
How do you talk about that withsomebody that you're just
meeting and getting to know?
Speaker 3 (15:31):
I don't know if I'm the right one to give advice,
because you know me, I just talk, but I don't know.
I mean honesty has always justkind of been my policy, like you
get me for who I am and youlike it or you don't, and the
messiness that comes with me nowis just always there.
I mean, I didn't have a problemtalking to Bart's friends the
(15:54):
first time I met him and askedabout the fire and when we were
starting to set up thefoundation, asking about the
foundation, and Bart was rightin the midst of helping set up
the foundation.
We'd already been dating forprobably a year before we really
got gung ho about getting thefoundation set up for Sean and
Morgan and so that part he'sbeen with, you know, the whole
time.
So he's understood that aspectof figuring things out and
(16:16):
dealing with the joy of settingsomething up, the grief of
having to set something up, thejoy that comes with giving back,
but the grief that comes withthe reason that we're giving
back.
So I mean he's he the reasonthat we're giving back.
So I mean he's he's made allthose steps with me.
You know he, I'm sure hedoesn't.
You know, his thoughts on thebackground are probably
(16:37):
different than mine and I meanthat's, that's fine.
He comes with a different levelof support than what I show up
with sometimes and but we carryeach other, we balance each
other and you know, and I justfeel like that's you just kind
of figure it out along the way.
I mean, if you're talking tosomebody or dating somebody and
you know it's not the rightperson, then just move on, you
know.
But when you find that personthat you connect with and that
(16:58):
you truly feel something for, Ijust feel like it's easier to
have those open, honestconversations about what you're
going through and the thoughtsand feelings that you're having
that day.
Conversations about what you'regoing through and the thoughts
and feelings that you're havingthat day, and I mean even now.
I mean I can just come home andI can be like this stupid song
came on the radio today and I'mjust in my feels and he's like
Okay, what do you want to do?
(17:18):
You want to talk about it?
Do you want to go do something?
Do you want to go to bed?
I never want to go to bed, butbut, you know, just like do you
want to go sit on the porch?
Like, do you want to havedinner?
Do you want to sit in silence?
Like he just lets me call theshots on those days.
And you know he has bad daystoo.
It may not necessarily bebecause of Sean and Morgan, but
I mean it could be and we'vejust learned to help each other
(17:44):
through the bad days and havefun on the good days.
Speaker 4 (17:46):
And the days that those things happen, we just
figure it out 100, 100.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
That's what we do.
And, bart, what do you do aboutyour sadness?
You talked about being chokedup, wishing you could hug them,
and, of course, robin carrieshuge, enormous grief, but you're
carrying grief too.
What do you do to processthrough that?
Speaker 4 (18:08):
It's the same thing.
She knows me so well that shejust knows when I'm feeling it.
And when I'm feeling it andwhen I'm getting into that, we
talk about it and we just talkit out and we hang out.
That's the main thing.
It's like we just want to hangout all the time and for us that
is a coping mechanism, for bothof us.
I mean, it's just, it helps somuch just to look at her and she
(18:29):
knows what I'm going through.
So it's immediate.
She understands, and that's myoutlet is Robin, so I mean she's
always there for me, I'm alwaysthere for her, no matter what,
and that's just the way we are.
Speaker 3 (18:41):
How did you get?
Yeah, how did you get?
Speaker 1 (18:43):
by hanging out and talking to each other, that's
what I thought you were going tosay Just talking, open
communication.
Speaker 4 (18:50):
Yeah, from day one, I think from official date one.
It was like we sat down and wejust connected that's awesome
and I knew what had happened andI knew all the thoughts and
everything that she had on itand how honest she was.
But it just was normal we weretwo common people.
(19:10):
But it was it just.
It just was normal we were, wewere two common people, and, and
it was amazing.
It was a connection immediately.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
So pretty cool, I think it's.
I think it's pretty just, asI'm listening, I mean it's, um,
I'm just in awe, truly, of justjust both of your hearts.
I mean I'm literally looking attwo humans that your hearts
were meant to be together.
Yeah, it's just so inspiringand it's, I think, that just
(19:36):
being able to say exactly whatyou're saying, like here's how
I'm feeling, and then, Bart,you're like, okay, well, what do
you need?
You need this, do you need that?
Do you need this?
I mean that is such incredibleadvice on all parts of our life,
right?
Speaker 3 (19:50):
Yes, and I mean we both started dating with the
full intention that we neverwanted to get married again.
He was a lot newer out ofdivorce than I was.
I had been divorced for sevenyears when I lost Sean and
Morgan.
So I had dated here and there,but obviously nothing serious.
Nothing clicked that I wantedlong-term with.
(20:11):
So I was just kind of ifsomething happens it'll be fun
and if I meet somebody andconnect with them that's awesome
.
But it was still full fledged.
I'm not doing that marriagething again and like I said, he
was more newly divorced.
Speaker 4 (20:24):
Just a few months out , yeah Well that was a red flag
right there.
Speaker 1 (20:27):
That never should have worked.
Speaker 4 (20:31):
It was almost immediate, like we both looked
at each other.
We're like, we're not.
We're not doing this again.
Let's just.
Let's just enjoy each other.
Speaker 3 (20:39):
Love it, which is why we dated for three and a half
plus years as an older coupledating before we got married,
because we just we knew we lovedeach other.
We knew we wanted to betogether forever, but we were
still just like ooh like youdidn't mean it yeah so what
changed?
Speaker 2 (20:57):
like what, what?
What was it, bart, that youwere like, okay, I might want to
do something about it?
Speaker 1 (21:02):
I might want to put a ring on.
It is what he said.
Speaker 4 (21:05):
That's right, I mean it's, it's your best friend.
I mean she, she is what he said, that's right, that's right.
I mean it's, it's your bestfriend.
I mean she, she is my bestfriend and there's nobody else
at that point that I wanted tobe with and and I will ever want
to be with.
So I mean it, just, it, just Idon't, I can't explain it.
It was just immediate, likewhen, when it hit, I think we
knew for the longest everythingtogether we're doing, you know
(21:26):
so I think it just became a jokeat that point yeah we're never
gonna get married yeah, yeah,yeah, definitely
Speaker 2 (21:32):
um, and your wedding tell us about.
That was like a really neatsurprise and um, you guys tell
us all about.
Speaker 3 (21:43):
Well, we got engaged on Thanksgiving of 2023.
That was really cute.
He involved Isabel in it and Ihad no idea.
And I really thought that if hewas going to ask me, I would
figure out the clues and I wouldknow it was kind of coming and
no complete shock.
Like you can watch the video,you can watch my face, you can
(22:04):
listen to background, like noidea.
No, I'm the worst at secrets.
Watch my face, you can listento it, it's not bad Background,
like no idea.
No, and I'm the worst at secrets, so so Isabel had actually kind
of started it and said that shewanted to go around the room
and say what everybody wasthankful for.
And we had just done this a fewnights ago, sitting on the
porch with just us.
So I literally thought nothingof it when she started this
(22:25):
conversation at actualThanksgiving dinner.
And so she just said I'mthankful for Miss Robin and gosh
, I can't even remember.
Speaker 4 (22:33):
One day she'll be my bonus mom.
Speaker 3 (22:35):
Yes, and then turned around and I didn't even notice.
I was hugging her andeverybody's like hitting me on
the shoulder and making thesecrazy eyes and I turn around,
barks down on one knee and soyeah, full fledged shock, full
fledged tears, like no idea,heck yeah, yes, absolutely, it
was a good Thanksgiving.
It was, it was a very goodThanksgiving.
(22:55):
So then, even then we didn'tknow what we wanted to do.
Like we had made the joke thatwe were just going to go to the
courthouse and get married, likewe would have a party with
everybody later.
Parents did not like thatanswer as much as we did, so we
knew we were going to have tofigure out something.
(23:15):
But we've both done the bigweddings and we were looking to
buy a house and we were.
We were adulting for somereason and making more wise and
financial decisions and notwanting to spend tens of
thousands of dollars on awedding again.
And so, yeah, just I don't know, we kept going back and forth
about what to do.
We had just bought the housethat we're in now in February of
last year, so we said, well,let's do a backyard wedding, and
(23:38):
so we started talking aboutthat and even that started
adding up and we're going tohave to invite this person.
If we invite that person, we'vegot to invite this person.
So this small guest list turnedinto this huge guest list, and
now we're back spending tens ofthousands of dollars on a
wedding again.
So we had kind of just put theidea to the side for a little
while and said we'll figure thatout later.
(23:59):
But we had already planned aDisney trip and we were sitting
there talking about planning ourdays and you know I'm a planner
so we had day one we were doingparks.
Speaker 1 (24:07):
Day two we were doing parks and we're wearing this
outfit, absolutely, and we'rewearing this outfit, which I
like.
Speaker 3 (24:12):
Absolutely.
And then Wednesday was going tobe a rest day and hang out at
the resort, go to the pools,whatever.
Thursday we were back at theparks.
Friday we were back at theparks.
Saturday we were coming home.
So we were just sitting on theporch one night, like we do,
chit-chatting and talking aboutwhat was going to happen.
Speaker 4 (24:30):
And I get one of these.
Hey, how much do you love me?
Comments.
Speaker 3 (24:35):
Because I have this idea.
And I said, do you want to getmarried while we're in Orlando?
And he was like sure.
And he was like, well, what doyou mean?
And I was like well, and we'dalready invited his parents to
go with us for part of theDisney trip and my parents only
live like two hours from Disney.
So we said, well, everybody'sgoing to be there.
(24:57):
Do you want to just get marriedat Disney?
Like well, go to the courthouse.
We're not going to do anextensive Disney wedding, but on
our rest day we'll go to thecourthouse and we'll get married
and we'll plan a fun dinnerwith everybody and that's
literally what it turned into.
Speaker 4 (25:16):
And we invited a couple of more people if they
wanted to come down and join.
My cousin did, you know, someother people didn't, but we
didn't want to exclude some ofthe artists.
Speaker 3 (25:25):
And then we said we'll have a big party when we
get back.
And we haven't done that yet,but you know we're we're coming
up on a year in June.
Maybe we'll have an anniversaryparty or something, I don't
know, but no, it was.
It was gorgeous and beautifuland wonderful and fun.
We went to the courthouse inthe morning.
We still dressed up, we stillcoordinated colors, we still had
(25:47):
family there.
Isabel obviously was included,sean and Morgan were included.
We had photography.
And then we came back and weplayed in the pool for a little
while and then we went toHoop-Dee-Doo.
Speaker 4 (25:59):
Review for dinner that night and had a hoedown
barbecue with all of our family.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
So no, it was.
That is incredible Love in themiddle of deep grief, that is.
That is something else, my gosh.
Speaker 3 (26:13):
Yeah, we didn't just find somebody to enjoy the rest
of life with or have somebody tohang out with the rest of life,
like we literally found ourbest friend in each other and
the person who makes us eachbetter people he makes me a
better person every day, and Ihope that I make him a better
person every day.
Speaker 1 (26:33):
Well, and Robin, I'm so proud of you for having the
ability, and then I'm not goingto say strength and courage, but
opening yourself up for that,Because I know sometimes, when I
mean we don't know that we'reready for things like that, I
mean because this is a that'shuge and you, you were so open
to it at the right time and Ithink that that is remarkable
(26:53):
and that's just.
It's just remarkable, You'reremarkable.
Speaker 4 (26:56):
Thank you.
That's kind of what you knowbefore.
What I was talking about waswhen I found out, was I ready
for it or was she?
Speaker 2 (27:04):
ready, and that was the big.
Speaker 4 (27:05):
Thing is you know.
Is she really ready for this?
Because we connected instantly.
Speaker 1 (27:12):
That wasn't the problem, yeah.
Speaker 4 (27:14):
Yeah, it was not the problem.
It was are we going to be readyfor this?
And I think once we met eachother and sat down, we saw how
much better together we madeeach other.
I love it, and that was itBecause.
Speaker 3 (27:27):
I mean, we both had a little bit of you know, scare
tactics.
I guess you know I'm walking inwith all this.
You know this is what happenedto my kids story, but he's
fairly fresh out of divorce andI'm thinking I've done this
single thing for a while.
Are you sure you're ready tojump back into something serious
again, you know?
And so I think we both had,like I don't know cause, we
(27:48):
weren't that guarded.
Speaker 2 (27:49):
But we had a little bit of you know.
So where do y'all get your,where do you get your strength
to you know?
I know I remember thinking justhow painful it was just to go
to a soccer game and have theconversation with a stranger
next to me about what hadhappened to Carter, let alone a
(28:09):
potential date.
What do you tap into?
What's some advice for people?
Speaker 3 (28:14):
And Bart, I'm gonna ask you the same thing, so think
you can do that again, just notgiving up and continuing to
live that life to make Sean andMorgan proud.
If I stayed cowered in a cornerfor the rest of my life because
I was scared to meet somebodynew, or I was scared to walk
(28:36):
back out on a baseball field ora cheerleading field or anything
like that, just how much wouldI let them down?
I still struggle with the factthat I couldn't save them in the
fire and that's always going tobe a guilt that I live with.
I do better with it thanobviously I did at first, but I
mean it's still back there, thatguilt that I couldn't save them
(28:58):
.
I'm their mama, I'm supposed toprotect them from everything
and I couldn't that night, youknow.
And so not letting them downagain just brings me, you know,
just gives me that fuel I haveto keep going.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
Yeah, that's amazing.
How about you, bart?
What?
What was the strength insideyou that you know fresh off
divorce that that made you say,okay, I'm tapping into this
because I'm going to try and gofor it?
You connected with her, and sowhat do you tap into when you're
afraid and worried about allthis?
Speaker 4 (29:31):
Yeah, just like when we first met, it was all about
I'm not quitting.
That was what she would alwaystell me is they wouldn't want me
to quit, I'm not quitting, andthat is what I look at.
So it's a great trait to have.
I don't know how she does it.
At times it's very tough, andit's just for her to tell me
they wouldn't want me to quit.
(29:52):
So why would I quit?
And I'm so blessed by that andso that is my strength and we
learned that at the verybeginning of our relationship
was that's the way she feltabout it and that's kind what
carries me through all this soyou kind of follow her lead a
little bit absolutely absolutelyand then I like, yeah, that
that's the first picture I eversaw of her.
(30:13):
She had a shirt on that saidthat and say that again.
Speaker 2 (30:17):
What was the shirt?
Speaker 1 (30:18):
say it again.
Amy, I said she's a badassbutterfly.
Speaker 3 (30:21):
Yes, I actually just said beautiful badass.
But yes, that's.
Hey, I own it, I love it.
Speaker 2 (30:27):
Oh my gosh Make it till.
Speaker 3 (30:29):
you make it sometimes , so that's a big one too.
Speaker 4 (30:32):
So, yeah, I think we're and and and it's.
And.
Another thing that really helpsme is is when people ask about
my kid and then they ask aboutRobin's kids and she tells them
I'm about to make you cry and wego through that, but at the end
of the story they ask what canwe do to prevent?
And so that's the greatest partand the most rewarding part is
(30:57):
being able to help someone elseand seeing when someone else's
eyes open up and they're justgoing okay, maybe we shouldn't
take that for granted, andthat's the way we look at it.
Every day.
We don't take anything forgranted.
We just continue to love oneverybody that we can love on.
It's me and her and Isabelagainst the world.
So that's the way we kind oflook at it.
Speaker 3 (31:14):
And I mean even you know we'll.
We'll talk to people andthey'll say we need to go home
and talk about a fire plan.
You know what?
What?
What can we do?
How do we get this started?
I mean, we have the resourcesto give them to say, hey, this
is, this is where you start,this is how you practice, this
is how you come up with it.
And obviously I don't knoweverything, but I share every
single ounce of knowledge that Ican with people about fire
(31:36):
safety and being as prepared asyou can.
And we tried to be.
We had a fire plan, we hadsmoke detectors, we had a fire
ladder, we had all the things.
They knew where to go.
When you got out of the house,you didn't wait for anybody else
, you just went to our meetingspot across the street at the
neighbor's mailbox.
But again, when nobody wakes up, it doesn't matter what kind of
plan you had.
(31:56):
But yeah, even Isabel knows myfire safety spiel and can speak
it to anybody.
She'll go to events with us andshe'll listen to me talk to
people about things and she'llliterally look at us and say can
I talk to the next person?
And absolutely, she's a littlemore out knowing than Barta is
about talking to people.
Speaker 2 (32:16):
I love that so much.
I mean, what a role model forher too.
I mean it's all of us arecarrying grief at different
points in our life, right, andnot certainly to the weight that
you're carrying, Robin, but youknow, she's seeing this person
that has this resilience and anability to also say I'm sad
today.
Right, it's the honest, it'sthe both of those and, and what
(32:38):
a gift to be able to share thatwith somebody else.
That's incredible, and what agift to be able to share that
with somebody else.
Speaker 1 (32:45):
That's incredible.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
What advice would y'all?
Speaker 1 (32:46):
have for any other person out there that wants to
date.
Speaker 3 (32:50):
Oh just listen to your gut, follow your heart,
take steps and take I don't knowwhat sort I'm looking for Like
jump in, try it out, but if it'stoo much or it's too deep, go
back to the shallow end for aminute, start over, it's okay,
(33:11):
but be willing to jump in, bewilling to try things, be
willing to give it a shot.
It may not work out every time,and that's okay, but if you're
not at least willing to take arisk and see what happens, then
you may never find your part.
Speaker 4 (33:18):
And you just have to trust your heart, and that's the
main thing.
Is is what is your hearttelling you, because I knew from
the beginning when this was andI was able to just OK, let's go
.
You know it's, I trust you, youtrust me, let's make this thing
happen.
And here we are, just superhappy.
Speaker 1 (33:38):
Well, and you have to you're worthy of the love.
That's something.
I think that's huge you.
You are worthy of the love andyou are worthy of the friendship
and the relationships and allthat kind of stuff, even if
they're new.
And I know it's hard to moveforward.
Speaker 3 (33:54):
But Sean and Morgan want it Absolutely, and you know
, just tell anybody you justpray about it.
I mean, every day with mestarts with prayer, it ends with
prayer.
We pray together.
You know we pray apart.
I prayed before I met Bart.
You know I prayed about Bartand I didn't even know that's
what I was praying for, yet youknow we pray for each other.
(34:15):
Yes.
So I mean that's another reasonthat our relationship works is
because God is a huge part ofour relationship.
He is a part of every singlesecond of our lives and without
him I wouldn't be where I amtoday, I wouldn't have gotten
through the things that I gotthrough.
In the beginning.
I mean, I was angry at him andthat's okay too.
So he understands that angerand he understands the days that
(34:38):
I'm still angry with him andthat I'm still sad about things.
But then I asked him to justgive me the strength to keep
going.
You know, give me the strengthto be here, for Bart to be here,
for Isabel to be here, forother people that hopefully my
testimony will be part of theirsurvival guide.
You know, just find pain in thepurpose, find joy through the
grief.
You know, live a life of griefand gratitude.
(35:00):
That's kind of my saying andall the things that I do, that
you know I'm going to begrateful for everything that
happens, but I'm still going tocarry a little grief with me
along the way.
And I mean I'm going to carry alot of grief with me, but I
just mean, in the moments like,enjoy the gratefulness of a
moment even though you have thatgrief still sitting on your
shoulder.
I think you, just you learn tobalance it the best that you can
and when the seesaw tumbles youfigure it out and you get that
(35:23):
scale back on balance againlater.
But you have to have thatrelationship with each other,
you have to have thatrelationship with God and you
have to just for me, just notlet my kids down and I don't
want to let any of them down.
I don't want to let Sean andMorgan down.
I don't want to let Isabel down, if I can help it.
I want to just be the bestperson I can be to all the
(35:44):
people in my life, whether it'sa mom, whether it's a wife,
whether it's a stepmom, whetherit's a friend, whether it's a
family member, like I, just Ijust try to be the best person
that I can be to the people whoare here.
Speaker 4 (35:55):
And to live every day where someone sees Christ
through us.
That's the big thing.
We just, we just want to bethose people, that they go.
Man, those guys are happy, talkto us, and that's kind of what
we want to do.
That's the way we live everyday.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
I love it.
That's incredible.
I want to make a bunch of Robinposters, all of those things
that you said.
Speaker 1 (36:20):
I need like do what Robin does.
I need that.
I need do W-W-R-D.
Yeah, I need that.
I need that.
Speaker 2 (36:25):
I need that.
Affirmations on my mirror.
Girl, that is so good, wow,well thank you, I love it.
Speaker 1 (36:32):
Yes, well, y'all thank you so much.
Yes, thank y'all so much.
Speaker 4 (36:35):
Absolutely, it's an honor.
Speaker 3 (36:37):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (36:45):
Well, talking to y'all as always.
Yes, thank you so much.
We appreciate it and listeners,if you want to join in Robin,
if you want to share some ofthose links on fire safety,
we'll post that online with yourpodcast as well and you all can
find more.
Robin is we didn't even talkabout that.
Robin is one of the moms.
She's actually our firstchapter in the warrior mom book
that will come out in.
Speaker 3 (37:04):
No pressure.
Speaker 2 (37:06):
Yeah, you know.
Just we're so excited about it,and so if you want to go to our
website, you can hear moreabout Robin's story on there, on
her bio page, and everything islinked on our my bio page too,
for for the foundation website,and then for the Facebook page
and the Instagram page for thefoundation as well.
Speaker 3 (37:28):
Awesome.
Speaker 2 (37:28):
Perfect.
So go to wwwwarriormomsme, andthen there's, you know, meet the
warrior moms, and you can dropdown and find Robin, no Willis's
name and go to her bio page andsee pictures of beautiful Sean
and Morgan and, of course, visitthose sites for the foundation.
(37:50):
Thank you so much for beinghere.
This was just a delight.
You two are an inspiration.
I'm going to have my husbandlisten to this.
Speaker 1 (38:00):
And thank you, listeners, for being here once
again.
Until next time, love y'all,bye, bye, see you.
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